The Lazy Genius Podcast - #189 - A Pep Talk for the Final Stretch

Episode Date: December 21, 2020

We’re almost there. We’ve almost made it through this impossible year. I would love to take just a couple of minutes to find our position in it, our position in our days right now. Helpful Companion Links Get a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Way Download the transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi there, you're listening to you, the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today's episode 189, a pep talk for the final stretch. This episode is releasing December 21st. We are almost there. We have almost made it through this impossible year. I would love to just take a couple of minutes to find our position in it. Our position in our days. right now. There's so much looking back at the end of a year with all our favorites of 2020 lists, which I have totally contributed to and love. And we are days away from a lot of guidance to look forward with goal setting and dreams for 2021. All of those are lovely and have their

place and are not bad in the slightest. The problem isn't the looking back or the looking forward. For this year, it could be that the problem is more about the distraction of either from where we are. I know for me, I need to position myself right here, right smack dab in the middle of today. So I want to share just a couple of positioning thoughts in the hope that they will help you face this final stretch in a way that feels good to you based on what matters. The first thought is short and a little tongue in cheek, but it's that 2021 is not going to save us. We've heard it said. We might have said it ourselves. And to a point, it is true. Turning the page from one year to another isn't going to magically change the circumstances of 2020.

I want to acknowledge that and validate that. But my second thought is that yes, 2020 is not going to save us, but there is tremendous power in the mental shift of finding ourselves in 2021. I personally have an optimism about entering a new year and it feeling better in my actual body that we made it out of this year. Like, we did it, right? But a lot of the language around, well, 2020 is just a new number on the same issues. And I think to a point that that is absolutely true. But just staying in that place, it doesn't offer us any hope. And we need hope. We also need a paradigm shift. And finally being out of this year and knowing we made it, I think it's going to have a tangible impact on how we see our days. So that's two thoughts kind of as one.

as you sit in this final stretch and feel a sense of hope for what's coming, don't let the narrative that 2021 is more of the same. Don't let that take away your hope. And if you're super, super hopeful, there is an invitation to remember that not everyone feels the same amount of hope as you do. And we can be gracious with each other wherever we are in regards to how we'll feel when the calendar finally turns. We can be kind to ourselves about how we are positioned toward 2020. and kind to others who might experience that differently. Next, let's touch on our positioning toward 2020 and the looking back. I want to applaud all of you.

I want to applaud myself. When I start to list all the things that happened in our country alone this year, it's debilitating. Then you throw in all the things we dealt with personally. We have not seen our friends or celebrated or gathered or traveled or moved through the world in regular ways for months. We've taught online school. We've tried to support small businesses while also stressing about job loss and tighten budgets. We've existed in relationships with people who see something fundamentally different than we do. We've lived with expectations that things will get better and then that they will never get better and back again. And our mental health has suffered in major ways that we won't see for years to come, probably. I have anecdotal evidence from counselor friends, a police officer and an EMT that people are involved in more car accidents right now.

People are having more panic attacks. People are suffering from depression and anxiety and addiction when it was never present before. We are all in a fog. And some of you are experiencing a fog that's blinding. So might the person that you drive past or walk past or read a comment from on Facebook. So as we look at the positioning of ourselves in 2020, I want to commend you, like genuinely and humbly, that you've done something impossible. You have navigated impossible circumstances. We've dealt with massively hard problems globally, nationally,

interpersonally, and mentally. And when there is no margin to reset, when your kids are home all the time and you can't travel and you're not going to the places you normally would, when there are no movies coming out, there are no haircuts to go get, we have nothing left to process happening around us. I think that's why I do feel like there will be a mental shift at the very least when we move to 2020 or 2021 because we did it. We made it. We live through a year that will go down in history and that's no small thing. So be kind to yourself as you think about it. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner.

host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. And finally, I want to invite us all to position ourselves

in the right now for the next few days. This week of Christmas is such a special one for a lot of people, but it will look normal for virtually no one. And I realize this is tricky, what I'm about to say, but even for people who are not abiding by CDC guidelines and gathering unmasked in the usual way, they are still experiencing this season differently

because of the reaction of everyone else. Like none of us are immune from this Christmas being different. Even if we're behaving like it's the same, none of us are immune. So in that very complicated perspective, I want to invite you to look at the next four to seven days through a favorite lens of mine, through the lens of what matters. For the next week, just for this week, what matters most?

What matters most to you and to your people? What matters most to your mental health over these few days? What matters most about how you experience the world, about what you let into your life, what you let into your mind, what you often. for others. It's almost like setting a New Year's resolution, but just for the week of Christmas that only lasts a few days. So what is your Christmas week intention? Your purpose that matters enough to affect your decisions. Naming that will impact how you exist in your home. You know, maybe you'll have a lot of Christmas music and candles going just for like the vibe all the time.

maybe you want to take a different speed than usual and so either you're going to open your presence more slowly or all at once like a big party depending on what matters maybe you face time someone you love every single day and that's part of your family rhythm because you want to connect with people even though you're home you can go to sleep early you can stay up late and sleep in you know this week just sort of feels like a bit of a snow globe it's so contained and again it's likely very different. So as you look ahead to this final stretch of the year that exists in this specific time of the holidays, choose how you will live this week. Something that comes up for a lot of people when they're naming what matters is that they like to read or watch a show or fill in the blank more than they

like scrolling Instagram. Okay. Now as a reminder, as I say this example, I love Instagram. When it supports what matters to me, it's seriously one of the most fun places to be. But if I'm imagining an afternoon on the couch, you know, a couple days after Christmas, I would rather read a book than be on Instagram. So thinking of that as an example, you know, you could choose that this week is a week of reading, not Instagramming, or a week of whatever you want to do rather than the thing that you often default doing. Just for this week, like really embrace where you are. You are. based on what matters to you right now because you have a little bit more freedom to do that. That is the most obvious example.

You know, if I'm being honest, like, don't get on Instagram as much. But hopefully that gives you an idea of what I mean. You're making a specific choice or two for this week just to be right where you are in this very unique week. There's a lot of freedom in that choice, I think, and choosing a Christmas week purpose or agenda or intention or resolution or whatever word you want to use. So that's my invitation to you. We remember the nuance of looking ahead to 2021 and we experience hope or grief or both in the same day. We remember the incredible feat of making it through this past year. We prioritize the fact that our mental health has absolutely suffered and we practice kindness and patience towards ourselves and others as we all continue to heal. And then we look at this week as a special retreat where we can uniquely focus on what matters to us this particular week during this particular year. I think that choice could have a really amazing impact on how not rushing through or dreading what's coming or resting only in the exhaustion of what's happened in the past. You know, like that doesn't have to run the show right now as best as we're capable. through the lens of what matters most to each of us individually, how can this week, this final stretch that we are in, bring you rest and joy based on what matters most?

I hope that these words, as broad as they are, are helpful in this final stretch. And I want to thank you for spending so much of your 2020 here with me. This audience has grown in some pretty major ways. And I can only imagine it's because we need the lazy genius way more than than we ever have. We've been given an invitation to really drill down to what matters as everything has been taken or changed and still it's waiting to be put back together. And it's just, it's really truly been an honor to have you in the space and for you to invite me into the tiny parts of your life. I just really appreciate you all so much. That is it for today. Thank you for

listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. Merry Christmas and I will see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.