The Lazy Genius Podcast - #199 - 7 Ways to Get Out of a Dinner Rut

Episode Date: March 1, 2021

Most of you live in the United States, many of you have kids, all of us are living in varying degrees of isolation still because of the pandemic, and all the things. Yet we still have to eat, we still keep making dinner. But it feels like it’s getting harder and harder, right? Let’s try and give a couple of solutions here. Helpful Companion Links Bri McKoy is a delight and a magician in the kitchen. Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, you're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 199, seven ways to get out of a dinner rut. I'm pretty sure there are some major ruts happening in this community. Most of you live in the United States. Many of you have kids. All of us are living in varying degrees of isolation still because of the pandemic and all the things. yet we still have to eat. We still keep making dinner. But it feels like it's getting harder and harder, right? It is for me. So let's try and find a couple of solutions here. Before I give you the seven ways, I think it's very important to share why we're probably in a rut. It helps you name more specifically what the problem is and it hopefully will give you a chance to be kind to yourself, one of our very important lazy genius principles instead of beating yourself up that you're cooking the same five meals over and over again. So real quick, there are two main reasons, I think, that you might be in a rut in this particular time. The first is circumstantial. We're home more.

So we're likely preparing more meals at home than usual. On top of that, we are depleted. Our people are depleted. All of us have way fewer reserves than we usually do. because of how hard this last year has been. We're also very tired. At least I am very tired. I hit a wall way earlier in the day than I used to, and it very much affects the energy around making dinner. And when we're tired and depleted and don't have a lot of margin for rest, our ability to make decisions plummets. It's like we can't choose one more thing. We just cannot do it. That often happens in relation to dinner in regular life, right? Right. But then you throw this pandemic into the mix. And even now, it's winter. Texas was covered in

snow and like blacked out across the state. We've had ice storms. We've had even more hours and even days in a row stuck at home, likely limiting what we can cook. It's just been a lot, you guys. So all of those things, all of those circumstantial things definitely impact our energy around thinking about dinner, cooking dinner, not being overwhelmed by having to do it again tomorrow, right? We're just worn out. Like, that's all there is to it. The second reason you're probably in a rut is because of repetition. You're cooking the same things, you know, again and again. And on top of the fact that you don't have energy to find something new. So it feels like, to me, at least in our house, it feels like nothing new works. Maybe your kids are picky.

maybe you're like oh my gosh how many more ways do i have to figure out how to be creative with chicken and listen feeding people feeding yourself making food even setting out your takeout dinner on your table all of it is an art it really is it's very meaningful and important to most people food connects us it emotionally sustains us um not just physically, right? It can be very beautiful. It brings comfort to people. There are a lot of really powerful things that can exist around dinner. It is an art. And right now, I feel like I'm making art with broken crayons every day. There is no creativity. My interest in being creative is there, like deep down, but I have to get up off the couch and try to find the good paint. And I'm like,

no, crayons are fine, you know. So not only are we dealing with the representation. repetition, we're also dealing with the loss of the art of feeding ourselves and others because of that repetition. So there's just a lot to make us feel stuck. There's a lot to make us feel like we are in a rut of groundhog day dinners and even the feelings around them. So the most important lazy genius principle that we can pull out of our toolbox here for this particular problem is to start small, start small. Start small. There are lots of solutions and other lazy genus principles that we could use that would be helpful. But I think because of our exhaustion, because of that piece of the puzzle and the fact that our dinner rut is heavily due to our lack of energy, it is important, very important that we do not

build something big here. We have to start small because we don't have the capacity for much more than small. So these are seven small ways to get out of a dinner rep, even just like one night of it. Number one, for one week, do a family plan. If you live with other people, even like your little children's, try one week. Not more than that. Just start with one week where everyone in your house chooses something that they want for dinner. Now you're like, Kendra, my kids are going to pick the same things that we've been eating all the time. I don't want spaghetti again. This is true. But guess what? You also get to choose something for yourself, right? And for your turn, pick something that makes you excited to eat it, even if your kids will reject it. And that is part of

this family group plan conversation. We all get to pick whatever we want. And if you want to, Like you could make ice cream for dinner an option. Like it doesn't matter. Like everybody gets to do what they want. But so do you. And part of the group agreement is that we all get to pick something we want, which means we are all happy for the person who is getting the meal that they picked, even if it's not our favorite. I'm not saying that that is going to keep your kids from complaining when you choose something that they don't want to eat. But it's part of learning how to be a person with other people. We don't always get what we want, right? Another twist on this that you could try rather than just like, pick whatever you want is to pull out

a cookbook and have everyone pick something from it, right? Whatever they pick you'll make. Whatever you pick, they'll eat. Or at least that is what, that's the arrangement that's put in front of them. So that is number one. Do a family plan. Just try it for one week. See what happens. Number two is more of a mindset that plays a bit into number one. And by the way, all of these do not have to do with kids. I just want to put that out there. But most of us are in ruts because of kids. Let's keep it real. But number two is change your expectation of how your picky kids are going to react to a new meal. If I pick Thai ginger chicken and rice, which I really love, I've never shared this before, but this is like a chicken, you know, it's another version of chicken rice that we,

Kaz and I used to eat all the time. The flavors my kids would eat, they would love it if they could not see the food, but because it's green, they lose their minds in anger at me. So if I pick that and make it, they're going to complain. But guess what? Sometimes that's fine. I don't love it when they complain. In fact, one of the most important things that matters to me as the primary cook in my house is that dinner is not a negotiation or full of whining because I just do not have it in me at the end of the day to deal with complaining kids. However, that priority leads to an exchange of not really having new meals, right? That is what I sacrifice by wanting no complaining. I sacrifice new things because my kids complain about new things.

Even, y'all, even pizza with a new topping. They're like freaking out. They are not very resilient, at least two of three or not. So if I want to, want to get out of a rut. And if I want to eat some new things sometimes, I have to go into it expecting that my kids will likely complain. For some reason, I'm like, maybe this time they won't. They're probably going to. They're just probably going to. So knowing that, going into it is helpful. And what I can do and what you can do, we can magic question that situation. We can ask, what can I do now to make the complaining easier later? I can serve something alongside the new thing that the kids will eat. I can make it a chocolate milk night. I can play fun music that puts them in

like a decent mood. I can simply tell myself, they will complain. You can just tell them that they don't have to eat it. But this is dinner and smile. And then I will eat my own food. You know, like, I think we just have these secret expectations that we don't know until they're not met, that our kids this time are actually going to be happy and surprise us when we serve them something new. and when they're not, we're disappointed. So just expect them to complain. Make that part of the plan. Have something else like fruit or bread or cheese

or whatever your kids will eat alongside it. And enjoy a new recipe for yourself. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. join me for cities of awe a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Number three is to plan something new. Now listen, do not expect it to magically happen. I have been putting off planning my meals just in general because I'm tired of planning the same. things. And I don't know why this is, but I weirdly expect some magical wave of creativity and resources to hit me, you know, like on a random Tuesday when I don't have anything planned. Like, this is the night. I pull down a cookbook from the shelf and I chop and saute and create something brand new. And it's like I'm in a Nora Ephron movie or something. But the opposite is true. The opposite is what happens. If I don't plan, we end up having spaghetti again. It's just the way it

goes. So if you want to get out of a rut, you have to plan something new. You can't just leave a space open and hope you have the ingredients or the energy to make a new meal. You have to plan for it. You have to do that to get out of a dinner rut. If you're not in a rut, like you can, you can still, maybe it will magically happen. But when you're deep in a rut, it does not. It does not. So you have to plan it. Even just one time. plan it one time but it is not going to magically happen unless you choose for it to you do not have enough resources right now for that to be a likely possibility so plan something new number four do a like a chill recipe exchange okay so what do I mean by a chill text a few friends that know

each other, you know, and they don't have to know each other very well, but it's not weird that they're all, they have each other's numbers. You don't have to, you know, when you get a group text and you're like, hi, whose numbers? Like, you don't have their number in your phone. Maybe it's nice for everybody to have each other's numbers in their phone. But it could be like a group of school moms or church friends or your college girlfriends or whatever. Text like one to five friends or something and say, hey you guys, I'm in a dinner rut. What is a recipe that you cook a lot at home that your family enjoys? Everybody share one. You pull together those recipes because you will likely have one from each person and then you cook them. You cook each other's family favorite recipe. Now, it might not go well

for your family, right? It might not be a favorite for yours. But what you're doing is you're limiting your choices from trusted sources. If you wanted to, you could even systemize it just a by choosing one day a week that is like, I don't know, recipe team night or something. And that's the night that the whole group makes somebody's favorite recipe. So one night a week is taken care of for everyone. And then you can swap stories about how things worked or didn't work or what changes you made to accommodate your own family or, you know, whatever. But you can do some sort of like chill, chill recipe exchange.

Number five. make dinner early. I learned this from Brie McCoy. And then it turns out my sister does this too, which was super fun. One of the reasons that dinner feels like a rut is not always what you're cooking, but when you're cooking. If your energy is super duper low by 430 and the thought of getting out a pan and a knife and like cans of stuff, you're like, no, I cannot do it. Maybe. Maybe. It's not really the recipes that you need to switch out, but the time that you make them. That could be a very easy fix for you. So you start dinner in the morning and you finish it at dinner time.

So like even if you're making, you know, you make soup in the Dutch oven or something. Make it in the morning and then you just, you put that pot in the fridge when it's cooked. And then you put the pot back on the stove half an hour before dinner. If you're worried about food tasting like leftovers, it really won't, especially if you heat it up in the stove or in the oven in the pan that you would have cooked it in at five o'clock. Or you cook the recipe like three quarters of the way through and then you finish it at dinner time. That could really, really help your rut making dinner early.

Number six, add green stuff. Okay. So let's be real. Most of our ruts are due to the children and their deep love for white, brown, and red foods, it can feel very much like a rut when you're seeing the same colors all the time. So add some green. If your kids freak out over green like mine do, then they don't get the green. Like, it's fine.

But think about things like herbs, fresh herbs, pickle jalapinos, a side salad, a creamy herb sauce that has flex of green in it. Add green to meals you already make. and it will feel different and taste different. I saw a photo today on Instagram of tacos, and the tacos had cilantro and pickled jalapeno on top. And this is a bad example because my kids don't like tacos because they're weirdos. It's so annoying. The concept of meat and cheese type meals, that's familiar around here in my neck of the woods. But I already, from that photo, I could feel the energy boost in my having those meals with just,

some green on top or next to it. There's something really appetizing and fresh about green. So just add some green. It's amazing what it will do. And finally, number seven, I want you to think about the difference between easy meals and comforting meals. Not every repeated meal that you make is a problem or contributing to the problem. But you might categorize it that. way, right? We tend to go all or nothing. For example, spaghetti. Spaghetti is king around here. We have it like once a week. All the kids eat it. I don't mind it. It's fine. But that is a repeated meal we make because it is easy. It doesn't really do anything for us, like emotionally, for me especially. But listen, Ticamasala, which is on the blog, oh my gosh, it is so comforting to all of us,

except Annie, but she eats the rice, she's fine. That is a comforting meal, okay? Even though it's one that we have pretty often, that's okay. But here's what's funny is we have that meal. We have Ticamasa less often than spaghetti because it's not quite as easy. But if I plan it, it's not hard. It's not. So when you're thinking about your meals that you repeat, pay attention to ones that are repeated because they're easy and ones that you repeat because they're comforting and then bump up the comfort meals and click down the easy ones. What that does is it puts a different spin on your repetition, right? You're repeating for a different purpose, one that does not feel as boring or restrictive or like you are in a rut. So those are the seven ways that you could get out of a dinner rut. There are plenty. There are plenty.

more, of course. But hopefully these are ways that you can start small, that you can start thinking just a little differently about your meals. Maybe this kind of spurs on some of your own ideas about how to get out of a rut, even if it's just for one night. Think about that too. Think about the fact that a rut is a rut because you don't move out of it ever. Changing up one night does a lot for getting out of a rut. Just one night, one meal. So think about how you can start small by changing the energy around dinner just one time. Do a family plan. Change your expectations around your kids. Plan something new. Do a chill recipe exchange. Make dinner early. Add something green. And repeat comfort more than you repeat ease. I hope these help. Thank you so much for being here today. I'm so glad you took the time to

listen, it means so much. If you are a regular listener to the podcast, make sure you're subscribed, of course. And if you have a minute and you want to leave a review, like on Apple, Apple podcasts, that always helps people find the show. And then we can have more lazy geniuses in the world, which is always a good idea. There's less judgment, more help, less striving, more resting, all the things. So thank you so much for listening and for being here. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter. and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week.

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