The Lazy Genius Podcast - #202 - Revisiting Your Morning Routine

Episode Date: March 22, 2021

I want to revisit the concept of a morning routine, especially in light of still living kind of in a pandemic, and give you one question you can ask yourself - just one - as you think about how your current morning routine is serving you or not. I’ll also share my own current morning routine and its evolution over the last few years. Helpful Companion Links The Lazy Genius Morning Routine from 2018 The Universal Path to Life-Giving Routine (the original blog post that offers the foundation for any routine) My conversation with Erin Moon about morning routines was the most downloaded episode of 2020. Listen to it here. Instagram is where I hang out the most online, so I’d love for you to join me over there @thelazygenius. If you haven’t read it yet, pick up a copy of The Lazy Genius Way at your favorite bookseller or your local library. Our Lazy Genius of the Week is Danielle Barham with her reminder to clear your counters before picking up your groceries. Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, you're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 202, revisiting your morning routine. I released an episode about three years ago called The Lazy Genius Morning Routine. And I still think it is such a helpful episode. I will put a link in the show notes. But today, after I give you the briefest overview of that original episode, I I want to revisit the concept, especially in light of still living kind of in a pandemic, and give you one question. You can ask yourself, just one, as you think about how your current morning routine is serving you or not. I'll also share my own current morning routine and its evolution over the last few years if it helps. And bonus, new thing.

So back in the day, including in this original morning routine episode, we used to do a lazy genius tip of the week. I still get requests years later to bring it back, but I'm going to give you something that I think is even better. We are going to now end every episode for the foreseeable future with a lazy genius of the week. So I get tagged on Instagram at the lazy genius multiple times a day where you all share how you're using the lazy genius principles from the book, the lazy genius way, or how you're implementing ideas from specific podcast episodes, all kinds of things. I'm going to start sharing one of those every week at the

end of each episode. So be sure you're following me on Instagram at The Lazy Genius and then tag me when you share some kind of lazy genius tip or application or whatever you want to share so that I can see it. It'll be fun to bring that feature back even though it's going to look different than it did before, but I think it's better because it's your ideas and your tips and celebrating y'all, which makes me happy. Okay, let's jump into the episode. First, a Cliff's Notes version of what a lazy genius routine is, no matter where it is in the day. So build the right routines is actually a principle in my book, The Lazy Genius Way. And the idea is not to create a list of repetitive tasks. We think that's what a routine is. But that's really only part of it. Because what happens when you don't do,

you know, all five of your routine steps. So often we beat ourselves up for not completing said routine. we give up completely if we can't do it all all the time, right? Or we think that something is wrong with the routine. So we choose a different five steps, but we can't complete those either. And then the cycle continues. The cycle continues because you're starting from the wrong place. Without this lens, without this lazy genius lens, you're starting from the what, from the pieces of your routine rather than starting with the reason for your routine. A lazy, genius routine is an on-ramp. It is a collection of choices that take you where you want to go. But those choices really are secondary. They are far less important than where you are going.

So for a morning routine, the point for most of us, and I shared this in the last episode, is to kindly open the day with purpose and gradually increase your productive energy. I'll say that again. The purpose of a morning routine is to kindly open the day with purpose and gradually increase your productive energy. You might have a different purpose than that, but I think that it's a safe definition for most of us to start from. So if that's the case, you know, it's great. We can all choose what that gradual increase looks like individually. We can choose different things. You don't have to get up at 5 a.m. unless that matters. You don't have to exercise first thing in the morning unless that matters. You get to decide what pieces create that

kind, opening, gradual increase of productive energy. Another thing I said in that first episode that feels worth repeating here is that a morning routine helps you feel like yourself first thing so that you're not frantically searching for yourself throughout the day. That feels true, right? When I enjoy a morning routine that does help me start with purpose and grab. gradually increase my productive energy and it's very kind and all of that happens based on what matters to me. I do feel more like myself already. And I continue to feel like myself as the day goes on. It's kind of like, it's kind of like filling your own bucket in the morning so that as you're drained throughout the day, you're not scraping the bottom of the barrel, you know, by lunchtime.

So how can you build your own morning routine based on this perspective? With one question. just make it, we'll make it real simple. One question. What one thing will help you feel most like yourself in the morning? That's it. That's it. What one thing will help you feel most like yourself in the morning? Is it quiet? Music. Coffee. Reading. Meditating. Moving your body. Taking five minutes to make a plan for the day? Standing outside? Getting dressed? Connecting with a spouse or a friend. Laughing. The list of possibilities is pretty long. But the magic isn't in the list. The magic is in choosing the one thing that makes you feel like yourself because we're all different. We all need different things. I remember a conversation I had here on the podcast with Erin Moon about her

morning routine. We'll have a link to that in the show notes. It is a highly popular. episode. But Erin was struggling in the mornings because she felt the tension between feeling like she should be starting the morning early and on her own when really she just wanted to stay in bed longer. But she couldn't stay in bed longer because her kids needed supervision and she felt guilty about giving them screen time in the morning, even though that's what they often ask for and were content with when they got it. So when I told Erin that she could just decide to give her kids like a certain amount of screen time in the morning, and the kids know that's okay.

And then Erin could stay in bed longer, and she could gradually increase her productive energy that way, rather than cutting into her sleep and being alone in the dark morning hours, when that thing wasn't making her feel like herself. It blew her mind. She was so happy. And I was so happy because we need to do what makes sense for us. You have to do what makes you feel like yourself.

You have to serve what matters to you more than what the routine list says. So that is your singular question. What one thing will help you feel most like yourself in the morning? And then just do that thing. Start small. Make it one thing. Build the right routine by creating an on-ramp with anything you choose,

starting with just that one thing, to gradually increase your productive energy. in a kind way in light of who you are and what you need. Those needs change as your life changes. So to give it some context, I will share how my morning routine has evolved over the last three years since I released that first episode after this quick break to hear from our sponsors. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark

awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. All right. So let's talk about how your routine can change, even when the primary purpose stays the same. The reason for my own morning routine, that reason has not changed in the last three years. It is still kindly opening the day and gradually building to productive energy by doing things that make me feel like myself and remind me of myself before I get thrown into another day. That has not changed. But the routine itself has. Okay, so three years ago, my morning routine, and I had to actually like listen to that old episode to know what it was because I do not remember things very well. So three years ago, my morning routine involved

to getting up early, like 515, 530. I would make coffee because I like the slowness of it before anyone else woke up. I would do 10 minutes or so of yoga and meditation. I would read. I would finish up the school lunches that were mostly already made from the day before. And I also used to wash my face before I left my room. I don't know. I don't remember that, but that's real.

Also, in re-listening to that first episode, apparently those were the days when Annie, my youngest, she would wake up at 8 a.m. That is weird. I do not remember this. Like I have to have an alarm in her room that I've had with my boys too, who are 9 and 11, where the light turns on when you're allowed to leave your room. My children are not overslepers. I have to make them stay in. To make them stay in their rooms. So it's so weird. It's so weird to think about the fact that Annie used to wake up at 8. Like, what is happening. And what's funny is I do not remember this. This is why, this is why I side note. When my kids ask me to tell them stories about when they were little, I have basically no answers because everything gets kind of blocked out with each stage, which I, this is why I need Emily P. Freeman to help

me reflect. This is why I need her. Okay. So back to it. My routine has changed since then, but more importantly, why? It's not so much what does it change too, but why has it changed? All right. So I used to wash my face first. And when I thought back, like, why did I do that? it's because I would often forget to wash my face. Like if I didn't do it first thing, I would just like get dressed and do my thing and it was fine. I was also home with a tiny baby or a toddler or whatever. And so you forget about things like that. And also back then, skincare, it wasn't that important to me, but it matters more now than it used to.

I just, I don't forget to wash my face anymore. And I do it when I'm getting showered and dressed and stuff, which I didn't always do at the beginning of the day several years ago. So that is no longer part of my morning routine, right? Now, I used to get up at like, you know, 515 or 530 because I needed a longer stretch of alone time pretty much because I was at home with Annie all day. I was never alone. This was before she was in school. Well, now she is. Now she goes to preschool, like five days a week. And my boys now, they are also more self-sufficient than they were a few years ago. On top of that, I do not go to bed as early as I did back then. and then, you know, I didn't want to wake up as early because my boys, they stay up later than

they used to. So that extra bit of alone time or hanging out with cause, it's at night now instead of in the morning because my boys are up later than they used to be. And so I want to stay up later, which means I sleep later, right? I'm also just not as desperate for immediate alone time because the morning hours, they're just not the only time I'm alone anymore. So the time I get up has changed now. It's usually by 6 o'clock, which is half an hour before the kids get up. But even this morning that I'm recording this, I did not wake up until a kid woke me up. So it changes. This leads me to how the morning routine has morphed the most. All right. So I still want that gradual increase of productive energy, right? That's still important. Well, we kind of have a family

morning routine now that does that job. I don't need my own routine. for that anymore. The family has the gradual increase already built in. So at 630, Annie, she gets up. That's when the green lights come on. That's what we say is our alarms have these like, they light up. Some of y'all, I'm sure some of y'all have those. But a green light turns on. That's the thing. Is your green light turned on yet? Has your green light come on? So the green lights come on at 636. To around then, Annie gets up and she helps me make my coffee. She knows how much sugar to use. she knows how to press the button on the espresso or the French press, whatever coffee I'm making that day. And it's actually really sweet. Like she and I slowly, gradually begin the day together at that

point. That's become part of our family morning routine. Okay. So I don't make coffee first thing anymore. I don't need to. I also used to have to drag the boys away from playing to get ready for school and breast their teeth and stuff. But they don't need that as much anymore. Like they don't, they just don't need that. They have their own morning routine where they also get up at like 6.30, but they listen to music in their room from 630 to 7. So really, I'm only parenting one kid at once instead of all three. And they're not really like playing and getting distracted. And they know as part of their routine, they need to come out and be dressed for school by 7 o'clock. That's just the deal.

Now, of course, I have to go and be like, guys, it's almost 7, but it's not that big of a deal. And they get their own breakfast, which is a lot easier now, right? Now while the boys get their breakfast, Annie and I make school lunches for everybody. And we're both still in our pajamas. Again, it's very, very gradual, right? We're in, we're gradually increasing the productivity as a family. So Annie and I get those done. And then Koss takes the boys to school. And then it's just me and Annie again. And we have like a solid 30 or 45 minutes before we need to leave to take her to school. And so we spend that time together getting ready. So it's just a very gradual process. Now, even though I'm with all the kids,

it doesn't feel as much like a gauntlet as it did, say, three years ago, because I know the alone time is coming. It's coming. Once everyone's in school, like, it's coming. The morning routine is really more for my family now than for me. So when I get up before anyone else, it's just icing, right? I read, I do some yoga, I journal. But I'm not tied to any particular activity. I'm not tied to any of those things. I do what I feel like doing that morning. What makes me feel most like myself in the time that I have. And that piece about choosing the one thing that helps you feel like yourself. Spoiler, mine is music. I say that all the time. Like music is everything to me. I let the boys listen to their own like weird music and their rooms so that I can listen to mine like in the kitchen when we're getting ready and stuff.

I turn on my my chill Irish instrumental music or a playlist I've made. And with that as the background to our loose family routine that gradually increases in productive energy, I'm in really good shape. Another thing that makes me feel not like myself is being rushed. I do not like being rushed. But the way that our family morning routine is set up, it keeps that from being super rushed, right? There are definitely mornings where a kid forgets their mask or Sam gets distracted reading his book and he forgets to brush his teeth and we're running a little bit late or Annie spills my coffee. And so I have to make sandwiches like a lot faster than I would want to.

But overall, the rhythm in the mornings is the same. It's not super frantic. it's gradual as a family and because of the music that I'm listening to honestly and then just sort of being present with that I feel like myself there's a looser expectation to what I need the morning to be and it helps me relax and feel like myself now eventually it will change again that routine the way it looks will change again it'll have the same purpose but it will look different maybe even a couple of months when the pandemic is over in fact when I was just thinking about this. When the boys were home for virtual school, the first half of this school year that we're in

right now, that was just a few months ago. They just started going back in January. So all of last fall, I absolutely got up earlier every single day to have alone time because I didn't have any otherwise. We were always, always together. None of us were alone. Like for a really long time, so many of us have not been alone. Some of you still aren't alone. Some of you still aren't. but naming the point of it all, right? Naming what matters. That helps you have less attachment to the specifics of your routine and have more kindness and grace when those elements change because they will change.

But there's less pressure because you're still accomplishing what you're after, just in multiple ways, depending on who you are and what your life looks like right now. And you can start small. It's just one thing rather than depending on these five to ten steps when you really just need to think about where you're going, right? I hope that's helpful. That is our revisiting to our morning routine. Just remember the point. It is a kind opening. It is a gradual increase in productive energy that also pays honor to what makes you feel like yourself. And then just ask yourself what one thing can contribute

to that and then just do that thing. Again, for me, it's music. If I'm playing music, I love love even when the morning is hectic and a kid wakes me up instead of I got up on my own and I did nothing for myself. It's it's kind of still okay. It's not ideal, but it's actually okay because that's my one thing. You can try on a few one things if you get stuck, but just keep asking. Start small. Pay attention. Name what matters as you build the right routine. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate our first lazy genius of the week. This is so exciting. Today's is Danielle Barham, she posted this recently. The lazy genius principle that has made the biggest difference in my life, make sure that your counters are clear and ready to receive your groceries before you head to the store.

And then she shared a picture of her empty counter. That singular tip, I shared that on Instagram like years ago. It is such a game changer and it deserves to be mentioned as often as possible. It is just so helpful because you're not like moving stuff. out of the way when you get home with your bags of groceries. If you're a Costco hall person, clean off your counters before you leave. It is like, it changes everything. Danielle is, she's often very, very generous and sharing lazy genius tips and thoughts on her Instagram. So thank you, Danielle. You are our first lazy genius of the week. I appreciate you and all of you who listen to this podcast, who follow me on Instagram, who share the love of the book and the podcast, all of it. It's just it's the most delightful, humbling thing. I'm so grateful. So thank you for listening. I'm

grateful we're here. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast. podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.