The Lazy Genius Podcast - #206 - The Lazy Genius Guide to Buying Great Gifts

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

It’s April, and we’re entering Teacher Appreciation Week soon. Then it’s Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and the end of school. And pandemic guidelines are loosening, people are planning weddings and baby showers. Then, of course, there are birthdays and holidays and all the regular things. We have many opportunities to buy gifts for people, and it can be overwhelming. So today we’re going to Lazy Genius gift-giving. Helpful Companion Links Listen to the original Lazy Genius episode on buying gifts here. Also, here’s a holiday-centric episode on being happy with the gifts you give. I get my kids’ teachers Cozy Minimalist Home by Myquillyn Smith as my Decide Once teacher gift. I use Trello for reading and for keeping up with many things in my life. Our Lazy Genius of the Week is Brittany Jenkins with her self-care habit. Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi there. You're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 206, the lazy genius guide to buying great gifts. It is April and we are entering Teacher Appreciation Week soon. Then it's Mother's Day and Father's Day and the end of school. And now that pandemic guidelines are loosening, people are planning weddings and baby showers. Then of course, to our birthdays and holidays and all the regular things. We have many opportunities to buy gifts for people and it can be overwhelming. So today we're going to lazy genius gift giving. We're going to talk about what's holding you back, how to know what someone wants without asking them, how to remember that you need a gift before it is too late, and what lazy genius principles you can apply to making sure that you and the person you're getting a gift for, enjoy the whole thing. So I covered about half of what I'm going to share today in a very, very early episode of the lazy genius podcast. It was episode 12, I think. So like a long time

ago called The Lazy Genius buys a gift. And y'all, it is so solid. I went back and listened to it because I didn't want to like repeat myself too much. But we're actually going to like repeat a good bit of it today because it was very helpful. I am adding some new helpful next steps and also using some lazy genius principles specifically. But if you want to listen to that episode, you can. Those were the day. when I had a format for this podcast where we had a problem, a pitch, and a playbook. The English degree in me was coming out really big with all that all that alliteration. Okay. So, first up, what is holding you back when it comes to buying gifts? I think it's the myth of the perfect gift. You think that every gift should be the most amazing one ever. Like new bike as a kid kind of level

of amazing. And some of you try to do that. Some of you work so hard to find the perfect gift and you try to be, wait for it, a genius about it. You scour the internet. You look at all the gift guides. You spend more money than you need to because you're trying to be amazing or you forgot gifts that you already got. And you don't have the margin to think creatively. So you just buy something super expensive. Like there are a lot of reasons and a lot of ways that you can try to be a genius about giving gifts. Now, some of you really want to be thoughtful about your gifts and you want to give something amazing. You want it to be perfect to make the person happy, but you just do not have the energy to do it. And you know that you can never be perfect at it.

And so you just get really lazy and get everyone a Starbucks gift card. Now, that is not bad. Neither of those things really are bad. But I'm guessing you like to be somewhere in the middle of those, right? Like you want to be a thoughtful gift giver, but you also can't let it run your life or ruin your budget. So we need to lazy genius this, right? I'm so glad we get to do this episode together. Okay, so the first thing that we need to do is release the pressure of the perfect gift. It does not exist. The perfect gift does not exist. It's like Lindsay Lohan in Maine Girls. The limit does not

exist. You do not have to blow everyone away with how amazing you are at giving gifts. Be kind to yourself. Lazy genius principle. Number third. Be kind to yourself. Have fun in the process. Like it's really fun. And then I want you to use the rest of what I'm going to tell you in this episode to buy great gifts without losing your mind. But start with that. Start with releasing that there is no such thing as a perfect gift. Next up, here is how to know what someone wants without having to ask them. Now, you might be like, nope, I'm asking. And some people love to be asked. You would prefer that. Now, if that's the case, you might not actually struggle that much with gifts because you're like, hey, what do you want? And then you get that thing. But if you want to be, if you want to be thoughtful and also like make it a little surprising, right? You want to give a gift that makes somebody smile that they weren't expecting without that process taking over your life. Here are three ways to know what someone wants without having to ask them. First, pay attention to what makes them happy. What band or food or time of year or activity

or anything makes them happy. Whenever a friend says out loud, like just casually, that makes me so happy. Or like if I see them get excited about something, I make a note of that. I make a mental note of that first. And then I actually eventually make a note note about it somewhere, which we will get to the to the somewheres in a second. So pay attention to what makes them happy. Second, pay attention to their rainy day dreams.

Notice when a friend says, I would really love to try making pottery. someday or when your brother says one of these days, I'm going to run another marathon or, you know, whatever. But everybody always says something like that. Pay attention to those things and consider a gift that holds hands with that rainy day dream. You don't have to like turn that friend into a potter. You could get that friend a, you know, like a handmade ceramic mug with a note in it that says, can't wait to see the one that you might make someday or something like that. Or maybe you do get her a lesson at a local art center for, you know, sculpting or pottery or something, and you go with her. Like, just acknowledging people's loves and dreams is a huge gift in itself.

People want to know that they are known. They want to be seen and loved. And noticing those things can impact your gift giving in some really, really beautiful ways. So that's the second way. Pay attention to their rainy day dreams. And the third way to know what someone wants without having to ask them is to pay attention to how they live. Do they do a lot of stuff outdoors? Do they read a ton and they love having books in the house? Are they gardeners or bakers? Do they go biking as a family? How do they live? Let that inform your gift ideas too. Like if you have a friend who loves to knit, instead of just like being like, what can kind of get my friend for her birthday or whatever, you can Google gifts for kniters and see what you find, right? It's so much better than looking through every aisle at target for the perfect gift.

That is just a disaster waiting to happen. So pay attention to those three things. What makes them happy? Their rainy day dreams and how they live. And you'll always have at least one or two, if not way more gift ideas for the people in your life. Now, what about people you don't really know? maybe like a kid's teacher or the kid of a friend or a co-worker or something like that. There are gifts that we get because it's expected, right? It's like it's a nice thing to do. If your daughter gets invited to another kid's birthday party, you're going to get that other kid a gift, right? If your office does a gift exchange this Christmas, you're going to get the person that you draw on the little piece of paper. You're going to get them a gift. But you might not have a lot of emotional attachment to that

person and will have no idea of what makes them happy or what they dream about or how they live. But you still want to be thoughtful, right? This is where we pull out the most perfect lazy genius principle for buying gifts. Decide once. Deciding once is just making a decision one time and then sticking with it until it doesn't work anymore. You can decide once about gifts. And there's like so many ways to do it. It's so fantastic. So I mentioned this particular way in my book, The Lazy Genius Way, that for teacher gifts, I always get them the book, Cozy Minimalist Home by Michael Lynn Smith. It is a beautiful book.

It is so practical for every decorating style. She's the lazy genius of home decorating because it's principles. It's not like style tips or whatever. And I know it works. Like, I know the book works because I've used it in my own house. It's so fantastic. So that is my go-to gift. for teacher gifts. Now, some of you have said that my book is your Decide Once gift, which is like

the most humbling fun thing ever. Oh my gosh. But think about a person or a like a specific person or a type of person, like a category of person, like a teacher or something that needs a gift that you might not be, you know, quite as personally connected to and decide once what that gift could be. You might have a go-to baby shower gift, a wedding gift, birthday gift for a preschooler, an elementary kid, a high schooler, all that kind of stuff. I am actually going to, because y'all are very, very smart people. I'm actually going to have a post up on Instagram this week where we will collect all of our DecideOnce ideas for gifts in one post, right? You can leave a comment on that post. We did that for just the concept of Decide Ones for that principal a few weeks ago. And it's like,

There's so many comments. It's amazing. We are going to like drill down and just collect ideas for gifts, decide one's ideas for gifts. And then so you can read through those comments. You can choose what makes the most sense for your life. And all of those like, what should I get them? Problems are going to be solved. So I'm very excited about that. Look for that on Instagram at the lazy genius. Okay. Another way to decide once is not just the exact gift you're going to get. it can be who gets gifts and who doesn't. Like maybe you decide once that you're going to do birthday gifts for friends, but not Christmas gifts.

Or you decide once that your Christmas gift is something that you do for everyone. Like everyone gets a box of homemade cookies or something. Decide once. Now, I'm not saying that's what you should do. I'm not saying that that's like the ultimate idea. You might actually really love getting Christmas gifts for your friends. It's just an example. You know, all of these are examples of how you could decide.

but you can make whatever decision you want. Another example would be gift categories. Like when are you going to give gifts for like birthday, certain holidays, teacher appreciation versus the last day of school? You can decide once what holidays and celebrations that you get gifts during and which ones you don't. It's not just who, but when. That's another way. another decide once could be in choosing a category of gift rather than like a specific gift so maybe for birthdays you always get someone a book wrapped in a t-shirt or a tea towel always kids to grandparents it doesn't matter so the book will change whether it's a t-shirt or a te towel and what's on it will change but every single birthday for every person you love all you have to do is choose what book you're

going to get them and what t-shirt or teetail you're going to wrap it in. It limits your choices, right? Speaking of wrapping, you can decide once with your wrapping. You know, all of your gifts are wrapped in brown paper, like craft paper or white craft paper. It doesn't matter. You only do gift bags. You don't do paper. Like, you always do a card. You never do a card. There are just lots of ways that you can limit your choices and therefore your stress by deciding once when it comes to gifts. Okay. The final thing I want us to talk about is how to remember to get the gift before it is too late. That is such a stressful part of the gift giving is the remembering, right? You see someone's birthday is coming up and you have to choose the thing and then get the thing and then wrap the

thing and then figure out how you're going to get the thing to the person. It's so many things. So a lazy genius principle that we can bring into this area is batching. Batching is doing one task all at once instead of many times over a longer period of time. Okay. Now, this particular idea that I'm going to give you is it might not work for everyone. And that's, that is actually going to be the truth. It will not work for everyone. But it is a way that you can apply batching. A way that you can do this is to look at your calendar once a month, you know, maybe at the end of the month or whatever, and see what gift giving situations are coming up. It's your dad's birthday. It's teacher appreciation week. There's a baby show.

hour in a couple weekends and it's Mother's Day. All right. Think about all at once. Think about what you're going to do for all those things. Maybe you already know what some of those gifts will be, or at least there are like very limited options from your list of Decide Once gifts. So you can batch making the list of what you need to get. You can set a time aside later in the weekend to batch shop all at once for all of those gifts. And then you could even wrap or package them up at the same time if you wanted to too. If we were to bring the magic question into this, which is another principle, that question is, what can I do now to make life easier later? You can answer that with, I'm going to make my life easier later by not being surprised by needing a gift, right? That's like, that's your question.

So whatever you need to do, you can maybe use batching to do that. To make that happen, you do it. How can you not be surprised by needing a gift? Batch planning is a great way to do that. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw,

a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public. life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Okay. Now, in terms of remembering what you want to buy, you know, because you have all these gift ideas, but then you don't remember any of them. There are a couple of ways to think about that. First, you really want to record the things you notice as you pay attention to your people. When that friend gets excited about like a new lotion that she's now obsessed with, you want to have a place to write that down so you will remember it for later. Okay? You can have a

you can do anything you want you can have a little gift notebook you can have your notes app on your phone or like a voice memo app and you just like leave yourself little voice messages you can use um your bullet journal or your planner you can do what i do and use trello i love trello i'll tell you how i use that real quick so trello it is it's both a website and an app i use it for a ton of things i use trello for my reading for planning podcast episodes for my instagram editorial calendar. I use it for planning projects and for keeping track of gifts. So what I do, Trello is made up of boards, which a board would be like, this is my gift board. And then it has lists and cards. It breaks down that way. So I have cards for people in my life. And I try to

keep track of as many of the things that I notice about them that I mentioned earlier as I can within their card. Now, I'm not going to remember or log even every single thing that makes my people happy or plays into their dreams or is perfectly connected to how they live, right? But I don't have to keep track of everything. Like, I don't have to. I just need like a couple of things. That's so helpful, right? But the point here is, please do not depend on your memory. Don't depend on your memory. If you want to give meaningful gifts, if that matters to you, if you want to give meaningful, even surprising gifts that make your person feel seen and also at the same time doesn't make you overly stressed out in the process. You have to write down the gift ideas close to when you think of

them and having a place for that is so important. That is another lazy genius principle actually is to put everything in its place. So have a single place for gift ideas. It can be anything. It can be any place. Just don't make it your brain because your brain is, it's, it's a place for too many things and you're just going to forget stuff. And then that way when it's time to buy a gift, you always know where to go. All right. So for remembering, another idea for remembering is to give yourself margin to actually search for the gift. That feels really important. Our tendency when we are planning gifts is to write, like if you have a to do list, you're going to write, buy a gift for a mom on your to do list. But what you do is you think of it only as a choice to make

rather than something that's going to require time to find. So like if you look at that thing on your list, buy a gift for mom, what your brain does is like, well, I don't know I'm going to get her yet. But you can't scratch off buy a gift, but you didn't write down choose a gift. Right? I know that's like semantics, but it makes a big difference. If you don't know what gift to buy for your mom and you don't make that its own task, you'll be stressed out because you'll be down to the wire trying to find something

in a random target aisle. because you didn't actually choose. There is a leaf truck outside my house and it's going to be here for a while. So if you hear a humming, that's what it is. So instead, maybe we can make this tiny shift. Instead of writing, buy a gift for mom, right? Decide on a gift for mom. Right? And that can just help you see it differently. It can help you give that task the margin that it needs. That is the thing. You have to give yourself margin to find the gift. And again, the more that you keep track of your ideas or, you know, just the types of things that make your people happy, the easier it will be to find a gift without having to search the entire internet. But give yourself the margin to search. So my brother-in-law,

Chris, he loves beer. And he also has his pilot's license. So he loves like old planes and he loves to fly them. So a few years ago, I knew I wanted to get him something beer related. So I got on a website. It was probably uncommon goods or something fun like that. It's a great website, by the way. And I searched beer. There were lots of great ideas. But then you guys, I saw a set of beer glasses that were made from like recycled glass of old planes. I mean, come on. I was so, I was so excited. And he loved them because it was meaningful. It spoke to what makes Chris happy and what he enjoys doing. Like he could use it. It made him feel seen. And I was. done like I was done simply narrowing down my search to beer it just helped make everything so much

easier because I knew what to look for the more you do that which again is made possible by recording the happiest of your people somewhere the more fun you're going to have buying gifts there are so many other things we could talk about oh my gosh like where to buy them if you have a decide once gift closet or not. If you don't want to actually give physical gifts, but give experiences instead and what all that looks like, the possibilities on this topic are endless. But I think that you will be so well served by, number one, removing the pressure of the perfect gift. Number two, building in margin to find gifts in a way that fits your life. And then number three, making the decision easy by deciding once on how you choose what to get certain people and paying attention to what.

makes your people happy. So again, we will have all kinds of ideas collected on Instagram this week. You can follow me at The Lazy Genius and look for that post to share your ideas and you can get so many more new ones if you need them. But there is a way to enjoy buying great gifts for your people with just a couple of shifts in your thinking. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate our Lazy Genius of the week. It is Brittany Jenkins on Instagram. She's at Just Bees. Britt, Britt with two T's, and she posted a photo of herself holding my book in just this like very cool, casual way. It might be my favorite photo that includes my book of all time. I don't know what it is about it, but when I saw it, I was like, what is happening? So Brittany, according to her

bio, she is a digital media specialist, but she could also be a model because of how beautiful she looks sitting on her couch like in her emerald green leisure wear with the sun streaming through the window. I'm just kind of weirdly obsessed with this photo. But she says in the post of the photo about reading the book, she says, the weekends are always busy because parenting doesn't stop. But I'm learning to make sure I take a little time for myself. And this book is on my self-care list. First, I'm so honored anytime any of you spend your free time reading my book. I know that free time, especially when you're a parent, is at such a premium. So it, truly, I'm just so honored and humbled when you spend, your time with the lazy genius way. But I also really loved that Britney's takeaway was so simple.

Like, just take some time. Just take some time. Like one of the other lazy genius principles, schedule rest, says, just like, schedule something. Schedule some time for yourself. You can be small, it can be big. But just think about that on purpose. It was just a reminder. Britney's post was such a reminder of those small choices that build up to make a life that we really are wanting to live. So thank you, Brittany, for sharing that beautiful photo that I probably need to chill out about. And congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. Okay, friends, that's it for today. Thank you so much for listening.

And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that, more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life, because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your

podcasts.