The Lazy Genius Podcast - #212 - A Guide to Summer House Rules

Episode Date: May 31, 2021

A House Rule is something that could keep that first domino from teetering and knocking over everything else. All of us have different kinds of summers, and all of us likely experience different modes and priorities, again, within the same summer. House Rules can really help give a little steadiness to that if you want it. Helpful Companion Links Check out The Lazy Genius Way (affiliate link) if you’d like to read more about how I use Lazy Genius principles every day. Here’s the crowdsourced post on Instagram if you’d like more ideas. Instagram is where I hang out the most online, so I’d love for you to join me over there @thelazygenius. Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi everyone. You're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 212, a guide to summer house rules. We're going to just jump in with an excellent starting point. What is a house rule? Setting house rules is one of the 13 lazy genius principles in my book The Lazy Genius Way and it's basically a safeguard against everything. falling apart. If you think about common situations or like regular times of day where everything feels like it's going up in flames literally all of the sudden and you're like, okay, I'm out. Time to open my lobster rolls. Stand in Maine. That's always like my go-to. House rules could come in handy. In the book, I use the metaphor of dominoes lined up. Some days feel like all the dominoes, they just fell. Like you can't stop it. You can't fix it. It's just over. A house rule is something that could keep that first domino from like teetering and knocking everything else over. Okay. Also, I'm sorry, I had a cold for like two weeks. I'm so over it. So I apologize.

But we have we power on, right? We journey on. Okay. So why do house rules particularly help in the summer? I mean, they help all the time, but in particular, they're so good in the summer. I just, I think the reason is because summer it's so different for all of us. It has like such a different personality even sometimes from beginning to end for each individual person. Like the three months or, you know, however long of summer, contain a lot of different energies and priorities. You might not have as many routines as usual or you might need more routines because like you're still needing to work while your kids are home from school. Maybe you don't have kids at all, but a lot of your friends do. And so your rhythm of connecting with those friends is going to shift because they're in a

different kind of summer mode than you are. Maybe you just graduated college and you're trying to get a job or you're starting your job for the first time and you don't know how to be like have a summer in this way where you don't actually have a summer vacation. Like all of us have different kinds of summers. And all of us likely experience different modes and priorities again within the same summer, right? House rules can really help give like a little steadiness to that if you want it. So I'm going to share a few crowdsourced summer house rules with you right here or right now to give you some ideas of how this might work. Now, you can use some of these directly. You can let them inspire your own versions or you can notice that what matters to you is actually really different from what

matters to the person who made this house rule. Like specifics always help. And even if you don't literally use them, right? Also, all of these came from an Instagram feed post that I put up a couple of weeks ago. So these are all of your ideas. Thank you to everyone who shared. And if you want to read through all, I mean, I think it was over 450 comments the last time I checked. So you can look through those, do your thing. But also these are like so good if you don't have time to look through 450. Um, y'all are so smart. I am so, I cannot tell you how obsessed I am with all of these. rules. Okay, so I'm going to share these in like no particular order. We're just going rapid fire these babies. All right. So first up is Taitoa underscore T. I really don't think I'm

saying your name right, Ty. But I actually follow Ty on Instagram. She's like the cutest thing ever. She makes really fun reels on Instagram. Like, I really like her. Anyway, this is her house rule. A rule I'm trying to set is that we don't leave a room in upheaval. Our almost two year old is like a walking tornado, but it's up to us as parents to make sure he, with lots of help from us, straightens up before we move on to the next thing. Thank you, Ty. Thank you for that. We actually have a similar house rule that I might have mentioned in the book. I can't remember, actually, but you have to clean up one mess before you make another. Like, I'm fine with messes. It's fantastic. But like, don't do more than one at a time, please. So like, if my kids are

coloring or something and markers are all over the table, like, do. do it. Be artistic. Change the world. I'm here for it. But if you're going to go and get out a bucket of hot wheels and you're going to start building a track in my kitchen, you have to clean up your markers first. Otherwise, we end up in that fallen domino world where my house is a disaster and my children are my enemies because they have interrupted my visual piece, which I really do prioritize a lot. It helps my mental health. And then we're all kind of cranky. So I don't want to do that. House rule to the rescue, right? It keeps the house from getting as crazy as quickly. Really, really helps. So that's great rule tie. Next, this one is from

chef dozer. And this one was shared in multiple versions and multiple comments. So thank you to all of you who shared this. So this, it feels like this one would help a lot of people. She says, use one cup all day long. Each kid gets a color and it stays on the counter all day to reuse. I love that because cups around the house can be like a situation. Some spin-offs of this depending on what matters to you. It could be no drinks in your room or maybe like specifically no open cups in your room. Like you know, you can have water bottles. That's fine, but no open cups. I remember you don't even have to do this with plastic. I remember the Nestor, Michael Lynn Smith. She did this where like it wasn't that every kid had a color. Every kid had a style. Like there

were different style of glasses, actual glasses and every kid had their own style, which I think is so great. So our rule, it's not so much like one cup a day, but we have a drink spinner on our kitchen counter. And that's where everyone's cup lives throughout the day. It's just like, it's just a wooden, lazy Susan, you know, that I got at a home store ages ago. And it's where we put the water bottles and the cups and whatever. And it actually almost kind of keeps the kids from getting more cups than they need because when they're like, I'm going to get something to drink. I just say like check the drink spinner when they're going to go get something to drink and then they see their cup and they get it and it's great we also I'm realizing though we have accidentally

kind of fallen into the like everyone has their own cup color rule just naturally because our kids prefer different colors and that does really help and knowing whose cup is whose so that is a great one also by the way not all of these are kid related just so you know this next one is though next up This is from Becky S. Presley. Becky says, two snacks. You pick them in the morning and put them in your zip lock. You eat them whenever you want. And when they're gone, they're gone. I ain't nobody's snack. You know what. And I can have a snack a thousand times a day. I love this one a lot. We sometimes have a snack bag, like a big bag, where kids can choose like two snacks from the bag when it's snack time. But I love this because it also includes time, right? It takes the time pressure off of the grownup.

It's like, all right, if you're going to eat all your snacks in the morning, that's on you. I do wonder, I wonder how old Becky's kids are because I know a couple of mine, they have not, they have not fully learned the value of like delayed gratification. they would super duper eat their snacks like before 10 o'clock. But I guess that's like a good way to teach that, right? Anyway, this is a great rule. Okay, our next summer house rule is from a creative mission that says, car rules, keep a change of clothes, an easy snack in the trunk, and a towel in the car

at all times. Makes it easier to say yes to park days and splash pads, which are sanity savers during the summer. I love this. I love this. It's like a kit. It's like a summer kit. Now, one of the ways, let's think about how we could break this down. One of the ways that you could use this rule is to think about what makes life in the car or, I don't know, life on the go in the summer or wanting to be spontaneous. Like what keeps that from happening. Is it not having what you need in the car? Is it that some kids are better at prepping their own car kits than others? You know, like some kids are more prepared than some of your other kids. Is it that always having your car stuff isn't built into our routine? Like you forget it. It's ready, but like you don't take it with you in the car. So I really love this rule because it opens up a lot of good questions about what matters to you and what situations make everything feel like it's falling apart, right? But just in the context of being in the car and being spontaneous. Again, a house rule is a way

to safeguard everything falling apart and prioritizing what does matter to you. So I really love this one. This is a great one. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality. of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Okay. Next one is from, let me look. Jenny Lafser. Jenny Lafser? Ginny Lafser? Ginny writes, want a popsicle? Sounds like the beginning of an ad. Want a popsicle? Take it to the

backyard. Popsicles are for outdoors only. No drips inside. I love that. We actually had another popsicle related rule because summer is full of popsicles. It is from Krista Bell 81. Christa says always have popsicles in the freezer, obviously. But with that have popsicle scissors so they don't use mine and a cup for all the cut ends that end up everywhere. I love that. That is like, that's such a real popsicle challenge, isn't it? The sticky scissors and then the little plastic bits around your kitchen or your garage or your yard or whatever. I do think having, this is a weird sentence I'm about to say, I think having a popsicle

related house rule if you have kids is a good idea you can make your own but like i don't know summer's meant for popsicles right kids love them they're cheap it's such a fun thing to enjoy they make sense in the summer like they don't always make sense other times of the year so maybe think about what matters to you specifically about the popsicles and then create a house rule to keep popsicle chaos from happening we don't need popsicle chaos i love that okay uh this one uh this one is from corporate monkey co this one's about working from home actually okay she says i don't have kids but my hubs and i are trying to set summer hours on our work calendars we both work from home in corporate monkey jobs per my insta handle so it's easy to find ourselves sitting at our desks for just a little

too long every night or starting just 30 minutes early to catch up on something that will be there 30 minutes later. So I blocked my calendar so no one can pop meetings in early or late and also blocked a full hour for lunch every day. Sounds silly, but I feel like it's revolutionary for some work from home corporate cultures. I think that is so great because what you're doing is you're stopping that overworked chaos from happening, right? By setting a house rule of when you start and when you end your work. And then including that lunch break too. So it's like, When the lines between work and home blur, like they have this past year especially, this is just really, this is really smart.

That's a great one. Okay, this next one is, oh, this next one from Emily G. Lang. Emily Lang has been a follower for a while. Emily, you're always so encouraging. Okay. Emily's rule is, keep nature in nature. No mulch, rocks, branches, leaves in the house. I love that.

I love the simplicity of that. Nope, that stays outside. If that came from outside, that stays outside. And you know, as I think about that, because different people prioritize different things, this feels like a good rule to remind everyone that not every rule is for every house, you know? House rules are for you and what matters to you. Some parents might love all the creative nature stuff, wherever it exists. And some are like, I want you to be creative. I want you to love nature. I want you to do it outside. We all get to choose our rules, guys. So don't hear any of these and think that you have to do them. You don't at all. These are just examples of how a house rule can keep what matters to you in the forefront. Okay. Um, next one is from Luann Kastner, who says, I have two teens. If a decision needs to be made, they rotate days. Example. My son has even days of the week and my daughter has odd days. We've been doing this for years and it helps with everything. If it's your, dibs day, you know, like I call dibs. If it's your dibs day, you can choose to shower first or second. You can choose to unload or load the dishwasher for the day. It has solved many problems. This one is so great. I might actually do this for my boys this summer, maybe, give them dibs days. I just really like the simplicity and fairness of this, especially if you don't want to be a referee all summer. It's like you get dibs. It's your day to get dibs. Front seat, like all those things. I love that.

I think this would really work. I'm sorry, I'm distracted because I think this one will really work for my house. I'm very excited about that one. Okay. The next one is from DG Bo 206. This is very simple. Head count for dinner before noon. I love that.

I love the simplicity of that. It's not that you care how many people are coming to dinner, right? You don't care about how many friends are invited, whatever it is. You just need to know before noon so you can make it happen and not be stressed out. I just love that. This feels, this does really what household is supposed to do, which is to seek connection, not protection. There's a whole bit in the book about that.

And this feels warm and it seeks connection. But also, I'm guessing that this is likely a family with older kids who are like often inviting their friends over for dinner. And potentially there is some tension. There is some protection from the grownups on. on like wanting to connect, wanting your kids to connect with their friends, but that connection is kind of sullied a little bit because you're protecting your own energy when you're not able to be prepared and like get dinner ready for all these people

and really fully allow that sense of connection to exist in the way that your family and your house is set up. So I think this is just such a great house rule because it does do what a house rule is supposed to do. It's fostering connection, not not protection. It's so good. We have a few more still. Aren't these so good? I just love me so much. Okay. Next is from the Sarah Ellen. Sarah says we will have quiet time every day. That is the rule. We will all need a break from each other and time to rest and or be creative on our own. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. We do this too. I don't know how or when we're going to do it this summer because our summer schedule is different than usual. But prioritizing quiet time, even if it's just you. I mean, I think that's kind of a special thing, too. Prioritizing quiet time is a good one. Oh, man, speaking of good ones, I am obsessed with this next house rule. Oh, my gosh, this one is from E.O. and Joe. Here it is. Summer means stay up as late as you want as long as you're reading. Everyone reads more because it feels like a treat, plus they sleep in.

This is magical. Like, I'm obsessed with this. I will do this almost definitely this summer with my boys. And maybe even with Annie a little, I don't know. Like, you can stay up later past your bedtime as long as you're reading. It's so simple. It's so connected. It's so focused on reading, mattering, you know, if that matters to you in your house. It's just, this one got me, y'all. I love it.

I love it. Okay. This next one is from Elis. Oh, Eliz, like the beginning of Elizabeth. Eliz Damar. I'm so sorry. I just butcher that. this one is this one's pretty genius it also got a good bit of follow-up comments if I remember correctly

she says the main floor of the house is for quiet play only if you want to run or play floor as lava go outside or in the basement I love this because it's setting house rules for play zones to keep things like a little bit more manageable right especially if you are like me and are highly sensitive to a lot of loud stimulus and it makes you feel like you're going to exploit on the inside when like yelling in your face. So knowing that there are zones for loud play and then zones for quiet play, gosh, that just feels like it could really help. Now, obviously, not all living situations are set up for this, right? But maybe that's where instead of zones of space for quiet play, you go back to that earlier house rule from the Sarah Ellen about quiet hours, right? That's your

zone. Your zone is time. Timing is your zone. So good. It's just so good. It's just so good. Oh my gosh, I love this one too. Y'all are like so smart. I love these so much. This one is from Eliza Ropen. Eliza Ropen. Sunscreen on at breakfast, May through September. No exceptions.

If it's raining in the morning, we still put on sunscreen. Not going outside right away. Still sunscreen. It's too important to miss and I don't want to be a fight. I don't want it to be a fight on the days we are outside, which is most days. Jamie Golden would be so proud of this one. She would be so proud. love this so much this is really really smart because those yeah sunscreen battles are those are very real um okay

bailer girl 90 has a very short and sweet house rule of one real meal must be eaten before one o'clock that makes a lot of sense that makes a lot of sense that feels like it keeps um kind of crazy snacking requests and like eating all the food in the afternoon and spoiling your dinner and then changing dinner time because like everyone is really hungry or no one is hungry anymore. Like if having a steady dinner time matters to you in the summer, this would be a great house rule. I would think especially if you have teenagers. I would think that would be helpful. I don't have teenagers yet, but it seems like a good idea. Okay. And then this is our last one. It comes from CJBack-O-3, who says, I started teaching mine to do their, my kids, mine to do their laundry when they were in.

in third grade. Now they are all teenagers and a preteen. They wait until the last minute to do their laundry and it was madness. One summer we started assigning laundry days. They each have a day. Their laundry must be washed and out of the laundry room before their day is over. It's been a lifesaver to avoid a million loads in one day. That is so good. It is so good. And again, I want you to notice the last line of that. It's been a lifesaver to avoid a million loads in one day. that's where things fall apart isn't it that's where like CJ back oh three's dominoes all fall down because the house is covered in laundry it's like when everyone needed the washer at the same time it probably got exponentially crazy and then it affects other things too it affects like meals

and if you're going to clean or if you're going to i don't know like it's just hard when the house is covered in laundry and everybody's like desperate about it so if you're feeling if you're sensing crazy in something go back to the beginning of the crazy. What house rule can keep that from happening as quickly or as often, right? That is why they're so great. I love, I love house rules so much. And I love that these are ones that y'all came up with. Again, you're like so smart. You can check the post on Instagram. The picture, what does it say? It says, it says set house rules. It's like a white background with blue letters. And it says set house rules. And so you can check that.

post you can read those comments there are so many good ones but these are the ones that i just wanted to highlight okay so as you think about your own house rules final reminder you get to choose like the house rule no house rule works for everyone what makes you crazy what is keeping you from what matters to you right what mess or attitude or time of day or inconvenience or lack of something or excess of something. What is making you want to crawl into a hole and yell at people or give up or whatever it is that you want to do when you're stressed out? When and how is that happening? Then try and go back to the beginning. Trace it back to where things tend to fall apart and create a house rule to kind of like plug the leak, you know? Kind of so to speak. I just love,

they're so fantastic. I love house rule so much. Okay. Before we go, it is time. It is time as always to celebrate. Well, not as always. It's only been like a few weeks, but I really enjoy this. We're going to celebrate our lazy genius of the week. This week, it is Brittany Chatburn, who shared some words about how she lazy geniused her reading, which I'm always here for lazy genius reading. So here is her, I'm going to read her Instagram caption. She says, you guys, I can't find my notes. So, okay, here we go. I did in fact resolve near the end of 2020 to make reading a priority again. I don't like books on screens, so those newborn years just did not allow time to read for pleasure. It was sad. I get that. That happened to me too. It's still hard for me to make time,

so I do it slowly, a few pages at a time, like two pages, until I'm three-fourths in, and then it's like, bye kids. I read one book in the morning that's either some sort of spiritual formation or anti-racist education. Then I have a novel a few nights a week. I've read six books this year. Maybe not a lot to you, a sign to me that I actually have named what matters and kept a little promise to myself. So many lazy genius principles happening right now. And then she said, I Y, K Y, K Y, K, if you know, you know. Thank you for sharing these words, Brittany. And I'm so glad that you've experienced joy and progress in an area that matters to you. You started small, right? You named what matters. And then you built the right reading routine for you. Also, I just have to tell you,

your kids are adorable. I was looking at their pictures. like a weird little stalker and they're so cute um i am grateful to all of you who share all about this podcast and the lazy genius way book and me and and all of it on instagram just in conversation with your people you're you know you leave podcast reviews and book reviews like all the things you are all just so beautifully generous it means so much to me personally um that you are generous but I'm also thrilled that more and more people are finding their own freedom and their own wholeness and living lives that work for them, right? It's just like it's the best part of my job to watch that happen. So thank you to all of you for continuing to share the love and congratulations

and a special thanks to you, Brittany, on being this week's lazy genius of the week. Okay, friends, that is it for today. Thank you so much for listening and good luck on the summerhouse rules. I'm so excited for you. And until next time, the eugenie. about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. You ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way.

We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.