The Lazy Genius Podcast - #217 - Let’s Talk About Your Body, Part One

Episode Date: July 5, 2021

There’s a lot I want to cover here, so much so that I had to break it up into two episodes. It was just too long. So next week, we’ll obviously do part two of let’s talk about your body. In total, I have ten principles to consider about the body - yours, other people’s, how you engage with your body when you’re alone, and how you pay attention to your body when you’re with other people, hormones, privilege, and the complexity of body positivity. We’ll start with the first five today. Helpful Companion Links Here’s a list of resources that informed my own research and knowledge of body neutrality. The Body by Bill Bryson The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor Kate Kennedy of Be There in Five @whatkatefinds nail polish color wheel Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Hello, you're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 217. Let's talk about your body. This is part one, because there's a lot I want to cover here, so much so that I had to break it up into two episodes. It was just too long, you guys. So next week, we will obviously do part two of Let's Talk About Your body. I have 10 principles to consider about the body, your body, other people's bodies, how you

engage with your body when you're by yourself, when you're in a room with other people. We're going to talk about hormones and privilege and the complexity of body positivity. There's so many, so many super light topics we're going to get into. But today we're going to talk about the first five of the 10 principles. So let's jump in. Number one. One, The body is amazing. I would like to start here because we're going to start with something that is undeniably true. The human body, your human body, is a marvel. Now, I always knew that to be true, like, to a point, you know, the body's kind of cool and some of the things that it can do.

And then I read a book by Bill Bryson called The Body. And I was dumbfounded. Like, absolutely dumbfounded. if you have never read Bill Bryson just as an author, he is so funny while being immensely informative. He's like the perfect college professor, you know, like mostly nerdy, very enthusiastic, absolutely brilliant, like not too cool, doesn't take himself very seriously, but takes the topic seriously and gets you excited about whatever he's talking about. So that book, if you want to like really deep dive into the actual amazingness of the human body, oh my goodness, the body by Bill,

by Bill Bryson. I'm so good. But the point here is we're going to start with what is true, that the body is good. In fact, the body is amazing. And I also mean your body, like your specific body, no matter how it looks, no matter how it operates or feels or moves, your body is amazing. That is always where we're going to begin. If you don't think that's true, like fundamentally, especially about your own body, this other stuff is not going to hit the same. So I just want to tell you, your body is good. Number two, there is no normal body. Let me say that again. There is no normal body. In fact, I would like to posit to you that there isn't even like a spectrum of normal bodies. normal is a cultural construct. It's what we're told to think. We've been told to think about what is

normal. But there is just no normal body. There's not. And the sad thing is culturally, we've been told that there is, but that also the normal is what we're supposed to strive for. There's like a baseline that we're all supposed to hit when it comes to having a normal body. The problem is that baseline is a very specific body. I would think it is, thin, perfectly abled, likely very tan, taut, medium to tall. It is a body that does not have like a large, like large overlapping toes like my feet do, or a big nose or thinning hair or dry nail beds, which makes me think of mean girls, that's seen in mean girls. We have been told for decades that there is a normal, centuries even, and that normal continues to change.

you know, over the years. And our most recent iteration of what normal means is what I just listed, right? Now, thankfully, thankfully, the language around like having a perfect body, like we're starting to move past that as a culture. No one really talks about a perfect body anymore. I think we would all likely agree that there is no such thing as a perfect body. But would you agree that there is no such thing as a normal body? Because I think that's a different conversation altogether. You know, we might think that normal is average, but what actually is average? And what's happening by calling things normal is we're normalizing this perception that we have. And what that does is put all of our bodies at odds with each other. All bodies are good bodies. Putting them on a spectrum,

it does no one any favors. Which leads us to number three. There is no hierarchy of bodies. thin bodies are not better than fat bodies strong bodies are not better than weak bodies tall bodies are not better than short bodies are not better than tall bodies healthy bodies are not better than sick bodies there is no hierarchy but systemically there is right that's where we can start to change our thinking and our language and our movement in our daily lives when it comes to each other's bodies. That's why I really don't like before and after pictures, like fitness pictures, makeover pictures. It's setting up the hierarchy. It's saying that whatever's on the right is the good one. Now, if you were putting the photos in order, right, the after photo would be better because it's

literally positioned that way. It's saying this is bad, this is better. Or maybe like this is fine that this is better. In fact, I think that like, this might be a weird exercise that I don't think one should do. But if I were to give you a stack of photos of different kinds of bodies and I asked you to put them in order of hierarchy, I think you'd be able to do it. I think you'd feel super gross doing it, but I think you could do it because we have been implicitly and explicitly taught to rank bodies as a culture. And it's wrong. Not just morally wrong, you know, because it's like claiming that one version of good is better than another. And then putting morality on something that isn't bad. but it's also like factually incorrect it's factually wrong it's like smoke this idea that some

bodies are better than other bodies it's just a mentality that was created out of thin air and we have been fed it for such a long time that we think it's actually real and this is where we get into number four a little bit a body does not have to be healthy a body does not have to be healthy your body does not have to be healthy now hear me do we all prefer healthy body bodies, you know, bodies that function well and metabolize their fuel and give us energy and they rest easily and they don't hurt when we walk or run or bend over. You know, of course, of course. Do we all prefer bodies that don't get sick or hurt or have chronic pain or disabilities? Probably. But a healthy body isn't all we think it is. I read a book recently called The Body is not an

apology by a beautiful activist and educator named Sonia Renee Taylor. And I want to read this quote from her book. She writes, equally damaging is our insistence that all bodies should be healthy. Health is not a state we owe the world. We are not less valuable, worthy, or lovable because we are not healthy. Lastly, there is not a standard of health that is a achievable for all bodies. Our belief that there should be anchors the systemic oppression of ableism and reinforces the notion that people with illnesses and disabilities have defective bodies rather than different bodies. Each of us will have varying degrees of health and wellness throughout our lives and our arbitrary demands and expectations as they relate to the healthy size of people's bodies

fuel inequality and injustice. So when we aim so hard for health, we're not being kind to ourselves when our bodies are not responding the way we want them to. We are not being kind to others with disabilities. We're not embracing that all the sizes of bodies are good. There is a movement that you've probably heard of of health at every size. And that's true. There is health at every size. But also health isn't the gold metal here. Like a fat body with high cholesterol does not count as less worthy than a fat body with normal levels of cholesterol.

We don't get to implicitly excuse or maybe more willingly accept fat bodies that are healthy while disregarding fat bodies that are quote unquote just fat. like all bodies are good. Health doesn't get to be the ticket into that door. Under no circumstances should a fat person who is in some way unhealthy, whatever that might mean to that person or to you or to their doctor or whatever, under no circumstances should that person be shamed for their body. No way. We do not get to arbitrarily decide what makes a body good or not. Which leads us to number five. privileged bodies exist. I would love for us to all start noticing

if you have a privileged body. You have a privileged body if you're thin and you don't have to think about fitting in a restaurant booth or an airplane seat. Our systems award your thin body, which gives you privilege. You didn't earn it. Thin bodies are also seen as having better chances at romance.

They can fit in a little sports cars. they are perceived as more capable, which is absolute garbage, that that's the perception, but that's the system that we live in. White bodies are privileged bodies. The system of the United States is built to give preference to white bodies. Male bodies are privileged bodies. There are not very many like, who wore it better comparisons of celebrity guys very often, right? guys with bodies that were let's say like in the middle of that cultural body hierarchy that we're

trying to break apart here but guys with bodies that are not like perfect bodies or whatever are excused far more quickly and quietly than a woman's body abled bodies are privileged bodies if you are able bodied you can go to any restaurant you want you don't have to wonder if there are ramps or wide doors or tables that accommodate you, cisgender bodies are privileged bodies. Now, it's likely that some of you listening have strong or maybe complex thoughts about cisgender bodies or the definition of that a body whose gender matches their birth sex. But no matter what those thoughts are, I want you to hear me, I hope that you would still agree that as a culture, cisgender bodies are privileged.

They aren't looked down upon. They're not questioned. They don't have to wonder what bathroom they're allowed to go in. It doesn't matter what your perspective is on transgender bodies and bathrooms. We can likely all agree that cisgender bodies are privileged bodies. Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the Orange One. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk.

Habaniero? More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner. host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. So as we think about our bodies individually, and as we think of our bodies moving through the world, I think it's really important to acknowledge that there are privileged bodies. I live in a very privileged body. It's a little strange for me to like call myself thin right now

because there has never been a world where I would ever do that, especially when I suffered with disordered eating. But by cultural standards, and for this example, I am. I totally am. I have a thin, white, abled cisgender body. I am highly privileged. My body is highly privileged. What that does for me and hopefully for you is help you see yourself in a broader community. How can we be aware of each other's bodies in this way? How can we see ourselves as privileged and then advocate for less privileged bodies? We don't know there's anything to advocate for because we're the ones who are getting the privilege. It's invisible. We don't see it. How can we be kind to ourselves and to others when we complain about a stomach roll at the pool when there are bodies who cannot go to the pool at all because they

are underserved because they aren't privileged. I think about disabled bodies in that. This is just a really important work we're doing here to pay attention to the privilege of our bodies and to honor our worth when society and restaurants and job interviews and airplane seats don't. I was struck by this quote from again from Sonia Renee Taylor. She says, a particularly strategic maneuver is to decide that if we don't understand something, it must be wrong. I totally do that. Do you guys do that? If I don't understand it, if something doesn't fit within my worldview or what I've always just accepted to be true, then it must be wrong. And sometimes it is. Sometimes the thing is wrong.

Sometimes we were wrong. Sometimes it is a spectrum or really complex or not at all black and white. If any part of you is pushing up against anything I've said today, that's good. I think that's really, really good. That means that you are paying attention and you are listening. It means that something is happening, ironically in your body, that's causing you to feel uncomfortable or still or anxious or energetic. That's okay. That's good. Our bodies are really beautiful communicators. But what I would invite you to do is to not dismiss any of that discomfort as proof that what you're bumping up against is wrong. Again, it could be. It could be that as far as you're concerned, there is one way you want to see a particular thing when it comes to bodies. And you're allowed to

believe that. But perhaps there's space in between the discomfort of saying that a body doesn't have to be healthy. That could be something that's really hard for you to get your head around or agree with. But it's possible to have space in between that discomfort and the decision to not automatically dismiss something as wrong simply because you don't yet understand it. bodies are complex and beautiful and culture has made our perception of them really complicated definitely confusing even contradictory but if we can all start from the same place that the body is amazing that there is no normal body that there isn't a hierarchy of bodies that bodies don't have to be healthy in order to count and that there are privileged bodies,

if we can start from that place, the sooner that we all can acknowledge those things, the sooner we can process. We can process these things. We can process everything from how we feel in a swimsuit to how we feel about transgender bathrooms with more kindness and empathy. I realize that's a really wide scope of topics between those two. two things, but I am not nothing of complex here. So next week we'll get into more thoughts on your individual body. But today, this week, I just wanted to start here. I wanted to give you these

five ideas to start thinking about and noticing. See where you're stuck. Notice where you're uncomfortable. Pay attention to how you feel in your body when you go to the store or the pool. pay attention to how you look at other bodies if you put them in a mental hierarchy if you judge bodies and you didn't realize you were doing it notice where certain bodies would not have the same benefits as yours just start to notice again i realize that this is a lot and kind of broad maybe a little unnerving i personally believe it is very beautiful and human but it's understandable for this to all be like a little bit uncomfortable. We have been fed quite a story for our entire lives about each other's bodies and about our own. We probably have like numbers on the scale that are our upper limit, you know, that like if I ever

get over this way, well, I'll just never leave the house again. Like that's why, that's why we say that fat people are brave for wearing clothes that fit them or wearing swimsuits or just existing. Kate Kennedy says that all the time. Why can't women? just be allowed to exist. Your body should not be labeled brave for just existing. I think about disabled bodies. We shouldn't look down on people with disabled bodies and think that they're less than, or we have to like pity them or I have to talk to them like their children. We want to advocate for them and make it so it's equitable for their bodies to exist in our culture the same way that privileged bodies do, but we don't have to downplay their disabled body as less than. All bodies are

good bodies. I realize, again, it's just a lot to unwind. But this week, I want you to just pay attention to anything that has stuck out in what I've shared with you today. And next week, we will get into the second half of the list. And I just hope that this episode is giving you something to think about. I know it sure has me. Okay. Let's pivot to the lazy genius of the week. So if you're around here, every week I highlight someone who I see on Instagram or who has emailed me or something who is celebrating the lazy genius way in a way that makes me smile or is creative or just makes me want to cheer them on. Now, this one is a little different than past weeks, but I just have to highlight one of the most lazy genius moves I saw

regarding something I love very much. So one of our podcast sponsors, at least in this, year of 2021 because you could you could be listening to this in the future when no one has fingernails anymore. I don't know. Apocalypse is weird. But one of our sponsors on this particular episode, actually, if you're listening when it comes out, is my beloved Olive and June. It is the best nail polish, the best at home mani system. This is not another ad. I just genuinely love them. Anyway, this week's lazy genius of the week is Katie from the Instagram account. You should all be following called What Kate Fines. I love Katie so much. She is a fashion person. A lifestyle person. She has some like specific niche loves as well, which we all have those.

She will like go deep into the Bachelor franchise and John Mayer and home shopping networks, sustainable clothes and shoes, snacks, all the things. She's the best. Anyway, she is also a fan of Olive in June. She even has her own color, WKF for what Kate finds, which is like this beautiful olive green that my sister Hannah wears a lot. Anyway, so Katie Mae, this is the thing. Katie made a nail polish color wheel. You guys, I saw this come up through my feed and I was a puddle on the floor. She made an actual color wheel to help people pick manny-peddy combos or to choose colors to do like an ombre mani with. She literally painted the most beautiful, layered, nuanced, genius color polish wheel for your enjoyment. So she was the genius. So the rest of us could be lazy. And it is the absolute cool. thing. So I will put a link in the show notes to her Instagram account and then if you can, can you link to a specific Instagram post. We're going to try it. If we can, it'll be in there. But seriously, what Kate finds, she is such a lazy genius in many, many ways. She's read the

book. She's matched her nail polish to the book cover before, if I remember correctly, just an all around excellent human who just raised all of our nail polish games and I love it so much. So congratulations, Katie. You are the lazy genius of the week. All right. That's it. for today. Thank you so much for listening. Thanks for sharing the podcast for reading the book, The Lazy Genius Way, and for being just generally excellent human beings. I'm always so very grateful for all of you. Until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that, more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life

because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.