The Lazy Genius Podcast - #225 The Shoe Episode

Episode Date: August 30, 2021

We are going to plow through common challenges we all face with shoes and apply some Lazy Genius principles to help make those challenges easier. Obviously, we can’t cover every possible shoe scenario, but I am hoping to cover some common ones to help cover our bases and also to give you some practice on applying principles so you can do it for yourself and your personal shoe challenges. Helpful Companion Links Check out all the details about The Kitchen Crew! Episode 223: The Lazy Genius Gets Out the Door Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello there. You're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast. I am Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 225. It's the shoe episode. We are going to plow through common challenges we all face with shoes and apply some lazy genius principles to help make those challenges easier. Obviously we cannot cover every possible shoe scenario, but I'm hoping to cover some common ones to help cover our bases and also to give you some practice. us on applying principles so you can do it for yourself and your personal shoe challenges. There are two main categories that we're going to zoom through today when it comes to shoes. Shoe organization and shoe rhythms. Don't you love how deeply specific this episode is? So I'm going to explain that second one, the shoe rhythms more when we get to it. And by the way, this is not just an episode about family shoes or kids shoes. Like this is for everybody. Okay. Now, real quick, though, before we look at the categories, let's have a quick chat about personal choice. You can decide how many shoes you want to

own. You can decide how many shoes you want your kids to own. You can decide if you like new shoes or used shoes or shoes you invest in or shoes that can be cheap because they're not going to make it through half a year anyway. You get to decide what matters about your shoes. So much of what we'll talk about in this episode is impacted by how many shoes you own. Now, I'm not saying that you need to have fewer shoes for your life to work better at all. But those two things are connected. Now, until recently, I had really never been a huge fan of shoes. Emily P. Freeman, author, podcaster, and my favorite human, once told me that she's lost more shoes than I own in totality. And that was at a time of my life when I really didn't care about shoes. And I had only a handful of

pairs. But in the last couple of years, I have started to broaden my shoe horizons and in beginning to better understand the sheer joy that shoes can bring. I have added shoes to my life way more than I have subtracted them. And I am really happy with that choice. So hear me. I'm not saying you should have fewer shoes. What's important, though, is to be a little bit thoughtful about your personal choices when it comes to shoes. That's for your own shoes, your kid shoes, if you have kids. And if you have a spouse or a partner, you share money in a closet, it might be good to understand their personal choices for shoes too. Because the number of shoes you have, it does kind of dictate this whole organizational thing, right? Now, this doesn't have to be

like some heart to heart that you have with your husband or whatever. Like it's just shoes. It's fine. But it's also good to know what your priorities are for your shoes. So you can make better choices to support that thing, that priority, whatever matters. Let me share with you my priorities for me. and my own personal shoes, I am pretty classic in my choices. I really want comfort, but I also know that because my clothing choices are even more classic than my shoe choices, it's nice for me to have sometimes at least a little pizzazz with my shoes. So I also have a basket by our back door for all my shoes. And the shoes still fit in that basket. And that is important to me. That's important to me. When they don't fit anymore, then we're going to have to call the shoes. But what matters is

like comfort and a little pizzazz in my shoes, but I also don't want them to be all over the place, which is why I've limited where they go, right? Your storage choice impacts the buying choice. So that's what matters to me. For my kids, we keep things very, very simple. Our boys both have two pairs of sneakers. One is the daily pair. It's like whatever they're new. It's like whatever they're pair is and they wear it literally every day. And then the other pair is their old pair that still fits, but it's more beat up. And it's fine to wear it when we know we're going somewhere that's like super muddy or something. They also each have a pair of flip flops for the summer. And that is it. Like that's it. They wear those sneakers to everything. School, church, all of it. Now, are we going to

probably need to get Sam a pair of dressier shoes because he's in middle school and he joined the band and he will have to have band concerts? Yes, we are. but we don't buy shoes for the kids unless they're necessary. To Annie, my five-year-old, she's a little fashionista, so it's slightly different for her. She has a pair of sandals, a pair of slip-on sneakers, and a pair of flops that she pretty much rotates all the time. So it's the same thing, really, a daily pair of shoes, a backup pair of shoes and flops. Now, that works beautifully for the boys, but here's the challenge we've had with Annie. She is a fashionista.

she also gets hand-me-down shoes from her cousin, which is amazing. And some of those shoes she really loves. And she just loves like choosing new pretty sparkly things anyway. So oftentimes she will be drawn to a pair of shoes that embodies those things when we're at Target, for example. And I have given in a couple of times. And you know what? She still only wears her daily pair pretty much.

And you know what else? The other extra pairs still litter our shoe shelf. Shoesh shelf is hard to say. and makes it harder to find the shoes that she wants and organize everything. So it's like she has all these extra shoes, but do we really need them? Does she even wear them? And they kind of clutter things up, right? And that is the perfect segue into this first category of organization.

Your personal choices of how many shoes you have, how often you add to that shoe collection and why you add to it. And all of those things, those things directly impact how you organize your shoes. Now listen to this, very simple. Organization is simply giving something a place, right? It's simply giving something a place and then putting it there over and over again. And it's almost always limited by the physical boundaries of the place that you choose. I have a basket for my shoes.

Cause he lines his shoes under the shelf by the back door, but it's like from one end of the shelf to the other, that's his limit. And then we have this separate bench shelf. situation for the kids. And that's our organization. The location. The location is the organization. For me, my shoes, they're not lined up or color-coded or anything. They're literally just in this like 13-inch square basket from IKEA that we've had for like 10 years. Then the kids, they, they don't line their shoes up either. They just toss them onto this bench shelf situation. They're not lined up. Now, causes are lined up, but they kind of have to be because of where they are. but he's he's also a grown-up and he has the few of shoes of anyone in the house so it works

but here's the point if organization is giving something a place and then putting it there over and over again like that's all that matters and that's what we've done like that's it you don't have to care about it being pretty unless you want to we don't we don't care about it being hidden even we just want the shoe organization to be easy to maintain and easily accessible so if kids are just like chucking their shoes into this like open mouth of a shelf, that's fine with me. The baskets and the shelves by the door, without a lot of rules, right, that lets us do that. That lets it be easy to maintain. Okay. So when you want to organize your shoes or your family shoes, I want you to pick a place. Start there. Start with that step.

Where is the best place for your shoes? Remember, lazy genius has put everything in its place. So what's the best place for your shoes? Now, I think it might be the same place. day after day so that you can find your shoes. I also think it's probably good to have them close to whatever matters most. If you're a person or a family that takes shoes off when you come in the house, you probably want your shoe storage by the door, right? That's a lot of easier that way. But if you're not, if you don't need to take your shoes off when you come in the house, you can totally put the shoes somewhere else, like a closet or something. That means that your shoes are closer to your clothes so that you can put an outfit together all at once instead of, you know, run into the other

room to grab a couple of pairs of shoes to see which one works better. It all depends on what matters to you, not on what you've always done or what other people do. So for example, if you live in a house with a few people, let's say, you might think that you need a single place to organize everyone's shoes, like everyone's shoes should be in one place, and maybe they should be by the door that you go in and out of the most. Now that seems normal. That's like that's a situation you find on a lot of blogs and on Pinterest when you search shoe storage and you've been trying to make that work. You've been trying to make everybody's shoes go by the door. But what if, what if it works better for your family for each person to keep their shoes in their bedroom? Or it works better for the adults to

keep their shoes in the bedroom and the kids can be by the door. Or like what if the area by your door is so clogged with all the other things coming in and out of your house every day, that adding shoes to that is making you crazy. Those of you who live in smaller homes or like downtown apartments, you live with space at a premium. Your door is literally in your living room and kitchen and you don't want to have to add like a shoe cabinet to that whole situation. It's better for each person to maybe keep their shoes in their own rooms.

So choose a place for your shoes. That, you know, that's where we all begin. but don't just assume the answer. Is where they are right now really the best place for you or your family? Does everyone need to organize together or can it be separate? You know, is it okay that kids' shoes are by the door but yours are in your room? Now, of course it's okay. Whatever you choose is okay as long as it supports what matters to you.

And remember, again, how many shoes you want to have in your life, it will impact where you choose to put them. We'll be right back. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dacher Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

All right, let's move on to the rhythm of your shoes. Almost certainly the put away and find rhythm of one's shoes, you know, like you need to put your shoes away and then find them again. That's almost always children. If you're an adult, you can probably find your shoes and put them on without a ton of stress. But kids, not so much. About two weeks ago, I did an episode on getting out the door.

And the biggest challenge you all shared with me when I asked on Instagram, was shoes. Your kids cannot find their shoes. They can't put on their shoes. They forget their socks. And then when they go find their socks, they forget their shoes somewhere along the way. Putting shoes on children is a major part of getting out the door. So I want us to park there for a minute since that particular rhythm is very important. Okay, here's our first idea. I think that limiting the number of kids' shoes is almost always a good call. Like if we say, go find your shoes to a kid and your kid has six pairs of shoes to choose from, that sentence does not work super well and the kid is going to get hung up on the choice, right? Also, limiting the number of kids' shoes, it makes organization easier simply because there are fewer

shoes. You can have as many shoes as you want, but most of the time our kids don't care so much. In our family of five, we have, like I said, we have fairly limited shoe choices across the board. And we still probably have, like if I went to my back door, there's probably still 30 pairs of shoes and baskets or shelves or whatever by the door. That's a lot of shoes. So even if you limit it, depending on the number of people you're dealing with, it's still a challenge, right? But I will advocate for limiting your kids, at least the little ones, to a daily pair of shoes. If they have special occasion shoes like dress shoes or, you know, play in the mud, junk shoes or snow boots like weather related shoes, perhaps those can find their place somewhere else, like in a bedroom closet or something.

They're not needed every day, right? So they don't have to be put in the same place as the everyday shoes. Now that might not work for you, but if it does, I bet it would help a lot. So maybe consider limiting your kids to a daily pair of shoes. Now, here is the thing about your kids finding their shoes. They will never always find them. They will never always. nail this. Kids are adorable little weirdos and they live in their own worlds and they have brains that are so far from being fully cooked. So we need to lower our expectations of their ability to maintain our carefully thought out organizational system. Okay. But they will have an easier time if they know where the shoe spot is. And hear me. And if they only take off and put on their shoes

in that same shoe spot. I think that's key for kids. Wherever they store their shoes, it will serve you better if it's the same place where they take off and put on those same shoes. Now, if that's better by the door, cool. If that's in their room, cool. If that is on the edge of the living room couch

because that's always where they land, then maybe you have like a little basket for them for their shoes under the coffee table or something. Think about where your kids take off and put on their shoes. and try and see if that place can be the same as where you store your shoes. Another thing to offer when it comes to kid's shoes is to name what matters about their relationship to shoes. By that, I mean tying their shoes. Now, here we go. Here's a little anecdote for you. My sixth grader still has a hard time tying his shoes. And while that is a life skill, he will

eventually master without his laces coming untied every hour. Honestly, it's less important. to me than him getting his shoes on in the morning and getting out the door. That's why he has slip-on sneakers. He does not prioritize that daily tying. I don't either. And he prefer shoes that don't require that. That's fine by me. Now his soccer cleats have to be tied. And he can tie. You know, he can do it. He's just not proficient or very quick at it. And I like proficiency and quickness in the mornings when we're leaving the house. So slip-ons it is. Now, my fourth grader, then he really wanted lace sneakers. And he sat down one afternoon and he figured it out, man.

He tied and tied and tied until he got good enough at it that tying his shoes in the morning was not stressful and it didn't take him forever. That's awesome. So his daily sneakers are lace-up sneakers. So basically this is just my permission to you that it's okay if your kids can't tie their shoes with like perfect dexterity and accuracy

at any age that you think is too old for them to not know yet. You can't win them all, you know? like Sam, he can clean a sink. He can make a sandwich. He helped Koss fix a valve on the toilet last weekend. Could he do it again without help? Absolutely not. Was it good for him to try a new skill? Of course it was. Now, would we be terrible parents if Koss had fixed the toilet without looping Sam in to the process? No, we wouldn't. Parenting requires a lot. There are so many skills that these tiny humans and then they become medium humans, there's so many skills that they can learn. And you can't possibly teach your kids every single one of those skills on an arbitrary timeline that you've given yourself and then make yourself feel bad for not following that timeline when it's just too much. So I just want to give you permission to skip laces, my friends, it's okay. The time will come. It's okay if that time is not right now. One more kids and shoes rhythm thing is to store their socks and shoes in the same place.

Several of you messaged me when I asked about the challenges of getting out the door. you know on Instagram and this was your suggestion you said that once you started putting socks and shoes together that it made all the difference I also remember someone sharing like a year or two ago or four or five I don't need time who knows but someone used used a mesh garment bag you know the zipper ones that you use for your bras and stuff they used it for socks storage so either you can clip that mesh bag onto your dirty clothes hamper or something and that's where the socks go in And then they get washed in that bag. And then they're not lost.

You know, it's easy to sort them as a batch because they're already together. Or you can use the garment bag for clean socks. Like you clip a mesh bag by the shoes so that kids can just grab a pair of socks when they're getting dressed to leave. But I would be remiss to not mention that putting socks and shoes together, it does streamline kids and shoes and getting out the door for a lot of people. But for your rhythm with your kids and their shoes. the most important tip again I can give you is try to find a way if you can that works for you and your

family where the kid is both taking off and putting on their shoes in the same place in your house and that place is where the shoes live when they're not being worn that's where they're stored that's their place if the on and off happens next to the place the likelihood of those shoes staying in their place it goes up by like like a factor of ten which is very arbitrary math, but it sounds very smart when someone says something goes up by a factor of 10. Now quickly, what about the rhythm of getting rid of old shoes, bringing in new shoes? Because that's part of it too, right? Somebody outgrows something. You're even maybe saving shoes that your kid has not grown into yet, trying to store special occasion shoes. So I just want

you to think, let's think about those extra shoes, that bonus category of shoe. Here is where I think you can make a house rule. And here's my suggestion for that house rule if you want to take it. Save for later shoes. That's what we'll call them. Save for later shoes, whether that's because of size or special occasion or whatever, those shoes go somewhere different than daily shoes. I think that those two kinds of shoes need two different approaches. Otherwise, you're just managing way more shoes in your daily rhythm than you need to. So maybe you can have a house rule where those safe for later shoes, they go somewhere different than daily shoes. Now, when you know where that place is, it helps you know your limits for those save for later and special occasion shoes. Let's say you have a

basket or a bin or a shelf or whatever for that kind of shoe. You have a natural limit, right? You know that the basket of shoes that you have found at goodwill for your kids to wear when they grow up, you know, when they grow into those shoes, that basket's already overflowing. And you could be at goodwill and you're picking up a pair that's like a solid find, but it's not any more important or valuable than the other seven solid finds that are in your safe for later basket. Like you know you can leave those shoes. That basket's full. It's your organizational limit.

Again, it impacts your buying choices. That natural limit is set. So what about the rhythm of getting rid of shoes you don't wear anymore? We have a separate place for the safe for later shoes. What about the rhythm of getting rid of shoes you don't wear? I think there are two questions here. The first one is, what do you do with the shoes that don't fit anymore or that you don't wear or whatever? And then where do those shoes live until you actually send them on their pathway?

So you can decide that all shoes go to the local thrift store. But here's the thing. Like that could be your choice of like where are they going to go. but what are you going to do with them until you take them? Are you going to drop by that thrift store every time you have a single pair of shoes that's ready to leave your house? You can and that's great. But if you don't want to do that, that's probably not very practical for many people. You need a holding ground, right? You need a place. You need a zone to store shoes that are on their way out of your life. So choose that place. Go ahead and choose that place too. Maybe you have like a box in the back of your car

or the back of your closet or something that's for donations, not just shoes. It's just for general donations. When that box is full, no matter what it's full of, you take it in. This is very true if you live in a city or if you like ride public transportation. You don't want to lug around a bunch of donations all the time. So one thing that's really good to do is to choose a box or a container or a bag or whatever that's reasonable enough for you to carry through public transportation. and you know that when it's full, you're going to take care of that box or whatever it is,

whether it's full of shoes or clothes or any combination of things that you no longer need. But the point here with your shoe rhythm in particular is to have a separate place to store shoes that are on their way out. You get to decide where they go, whether it's to a thrift store or a family with a kid younger than yours. And you get to decide how often you take those shoes. but let those choices dictate the limits of your organization. If you can only donate what you lug onto the subway, you don't need to make your donation box bigger than you can carry. Does that make sense?

Okay, so let's recap this entire episode about shoes. So first I want you to be thoughtful about your personal choices when it comes to shoes. What matters? Something does. Something always matters. So see if you can name it since that thing could be a big part of the rest of your choices. Your big categories to consider are likely organization and rhythm. Organization is putting something in its place and you'll have a rhythm if you maintain that organization

by putting the thing in its place over and over again. Choose a place that makes the most sense for you and your family. It does not have to be by the door. It does not have to be in a closet. It just needs to be in a place that supports what matters to you. However, if you have kids, a likely great place to soar their shoes is in the same place they take off and put on those shoes so they're easier to find with a rhythm that you can actually maintain. Because that rhythm matters too, right? But also remember y'all to live in the season and accept that your kids are not going to do this every time. They're not going to. You can make it easy for them and yourself with these choices, but also be kind to yourself and to them when it doesn't happen because it will super dupe,

not always happen. And then consider storing your shoes that you're saving for later or shoes that are not daily use shoes in a separate place. It keeps your daily space, which might already be at a bit of a premium easier to manage. And that is the shoe episode. I hope you have something to make your own shoe life feel less overwhelming. Now before we go, we are going to skip the lazy genius of the week in lieu of a big, fat, lazy genius announcement where So many of you actually can be lazy geniuses in print, in print for eternity. Actually, not eternity. I guess books aren't like immortal.

It doesn't matter, whatever. I have written a second book called The Lazy Genius Kitchen. It is a toolkit to help you have what you need, use what you have, and enjoy your kitchen like never before. It does what I hope the lazy genius way did, provide really helpful steps and principles for you to create a life that makes sense to you that moves with you. all of your life stages. And when we're talking about the kitchen, your skill level in the kitchen, how many children you have, how many people you're cooking for, all the things. I love this book. I am so proud of this book. And one of the things I'm doing to launch this book is to basically

make a TV show. Now, it will not be on actual TV, but I mean, the internet's basically TV at this point, right? Anyway, this project, it's really so very cool. It involves some really special people some of whom you might know. And I'm going to be filming it this fall. It'll release next March when the book comes out. But this series, it takes a lot of money to make it. And who knew? Who knew that making this high production value TV show would cost money?

So I'm asking anyone who is a fan of this lazy genius space to consider being a financial backer of this really cool project for the book. And as a thank you for your $10 contribution, you will get behind the scenes access to literally everything regarding the book release, the video shoots, you'll get invitations to meetups when I'm traveling, like all kinds of things. We're going to have a launch party. You'll get first dibs at that, virtual and in person. Anything that is like helpful or fun and related to the book, you get access to it and you get that access on a private Instagram account that you will find, be invited to.

like once you become a backer. And here's the cool thing. The first 1,500 people who join this very special group that we're calling the kitchen crew will get their names printed in the book. Like, for real. It's so awesome. So be sure to click the link in the show notes if you're interested in learning more. Or just go to the lazy genius collective.com slash kitchen.

All of you are lazy geniuses of the week. And if you've already joined the crew, thank you genuinely from the boss. in my heart. Like, for real. It's just too kind. You guys are just too kind. You're too kind to me and to this work. It just means the world. Okay, that's it for today. Thank you so much for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life,

You don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.