The Lazy Genius Podcast - #234 - 10 Rules for Holiday Gift Giving

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

You might be done with your holiday shopping already or maybe you haven’t started. Either way, these rules can still add some lightness and help to the next couple of months. Helpful Companion Links Looking for gift inspiration? Check out Team LG’s Holiday Gift Guide for 2021! The Lazy Sisters, my secret podcast with my sister Hannah on Patreon Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee The best deals of the year are going on now at Boll & Branch! From November 1-11, use promo code LAZY at bollandbranch.com. Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amazon presents Laura versus Fruitflies. Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen, these little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo. Chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. Hi there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 234. 10 rules for holiday gift giving. You might be done with your holiday shopping already and I think that's great because you likely did it because getting it done early matters to you. Even if you are done though, I think some of these rules can still add some lightness and help to the next couple of months. So let's just jump in.

you. Okay, rule number one, name what matters, obviously. I will never, ever stop reminding you of this because this is the most important thing. What matters to you about your gift giving? What matters most about the money you spend, the energy you spend, the time you can invest, the wrapping, who you get gifts for at all. And here's what's tricky. We can't assume that what has mattered before will matter now. What matters to us changes all the time. But we don't, take the time to name that and then we get in the weeds in some way. So name what matters to you about your holiday gift giving. I was in a lazy genius virtual gathering recently and a woman shared that since all of their kids are grown, she and her siblings decided this is not the year for gifts

because of the stress of things not arriving on time because of like supply chain craziness. They're just not doing gifts this year. And this year, that phrase, this year is important. here. Just because you choose something this year doesn't mean you have to choose it forever. I'm trying to remember if I share this example before. I can't remember. But a few weeks ago, a friend of mine was talking about hanging up Christmas lights on his house and how he's gone so elaborate the last two years and felt like he needed to do that again, even though he didn't really want to. And even though he's a very smart person and he was not saying this outright, there was this underlying message in his words that implied that if he didn't do lights this year,

that he was choosing to never do lights again. And that's just not how this works. You can change your mind. You should change your mind. You're making choices based on what is best right now, on what matters right now. To assume that what matters will stay exactly the same is an approach that will drive you crazy. So name what matters about your gift giving this year. Rule number two, there is no perfect gift. There is no perfect gift, you guys. This is just a reminder. I think you know this, but there is no perfect gift. One of the reasons gift giving can feel overwhelming and full of pressure is because we're putting pressure on ourselves to get every single person the most amazing gift they've ever had. And that's just not a thing. You can be

thoughtful, right? You can be thoughtful in your gift giving without that person. like weeping in a puddle or bursting into grateful song, you can get a gift that someone values without it being the gift that they list when someone asks them what's their favorite gift ever. There's no perfect gift, so stop searching for it. There comes a point of like diminishing returns, I think that's the term, where the time you spend trying to find this elusive item saps so much of your energy that it's not worth it anymore. And you have very little left for all the other important things during this season. So just go ahead and tell yourself now, there's no perfect gift.

There are gifts that you love to give, and hopefully the person will love receiving, but perfect is not on our rubric. Rule number three, batch only what matters. Okay, so batching is one of the 13 lazy genius principles in my book, the lazy genius way. And it's a concept we're all very familiar with. Rather than doing a task once and then waiting until you need to do it again, you do a batch of the same task. You're grouping something together that you might not normally. For example, gathering up all of your dirty dishes and then loading them in the dishwasher all at once,

that's batching rather than loading the dishes as they're dirtied. But then you have to do like dishwasher Tetris because not everything fits now that you have like a bunch of dishes and you have to move stuff around, right? Now some people batch, some people batch birthday cards. They buy all the cards they need for family and friends all at once. They address them all at once, and then they just grab the card when it's time for that person's birthday. There are so many ways you can batch stuff. And when it comes to gift giving, there are even more. You can batch your shopping by only buying from one or two places all at once, or by hunkering down on the couch with your computer and not getting up again until everything that you need has been ordered.

You can batch your shopping by picking a specific day and spending every minute of it getting all your shopping done. You can batch wrapping where you wrap all of your gifts at once. You can batch Christmas cards by addressing and mailing them all at once. So there are a lot of ways you can batch your holiday gifts. But I want to encourage you to only batch what matters. Only batch if it helps. If you like the discovery process of finding gifts, which we'll get to in a second, shopping in one fell swoop, it probably is not going to be fulfilling because that's not what

matters to you. I love to wrap gifts a few at a time over weeks and then leave them under the tree throughout December. My sister likes that too, but because she has two tiny humans who want to open a gift the minute they see it, she has to batch wrap her gifts and put them under the tree on Christmas Eve. That's what matters to her in this season of life. So batching it is. Now, I used to do that. I used to wrap all my gifts at once and one night. But, But now I don't have to. My kids are older. And I like the slow build of Christmas.

That matters to me. And I live in a season that supports that better than I used to when my kids were younger. So I don't need to batch wrap my gifts because I like doing it a little at a time. Now, a way that I can make that easier is by physically batching all of my gift wrapping stuff in one place, like storing it together. So I can have a bin or a little basket that has all the ribbons and scissors and tape and tags and a Sharpie to write on. those tags so that I have everything I need when I do sit down to wrap. But the point is, batch, but only batch, what matters to you this year. Rule number four, shop when it's best for you. So recently, someone whose name I don't remember, I'm Zilsari messaged me after she used

the holiday docket to plan out her holiday season. And she said that going through that process of naming what matter to her. It made her realize that she had been living by the invisible rule that you're not supposed to think about Christmas until December. But then she was scrambling to like order the family pajamas that she loves to get and gift buying was stressful and Christmas always came so quick. But when she realized that it's actually really helpful for her to slowly choose gifts and do it in October, it changed her energy around the holidays and it made it so much more pleasant. So don't live by invisible rules that don't support what matters. There is, there's a lot of like comedic, but sometimes shaming talk around not getting to Christmas early.

And I get it. I do. I like to enjoy fall and Thanksgiving before being bombarded with Christmas stuff. And at the same time, thinking about and planning some things for your gifts before December, it could be, could be really beneficial to you. It doesn't mean you're ignoring where you are or that you've been sucked into like the cultural vortex of a materialistic Christmas. It just means you're getting some things done early. So you can enjoy Christmas when it actually comes. And that's really great. So shop when you need to shop. If it's early, if it's last minute or somewhere in between, you need to do what matters to you. One other point I love to make here is to know, how you like to find gifts for people. So you might be like a list maker where you have your list of

folks to buy for. And then you look for gifts specifically for them in the few weeks leading up to Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever you're celebrating. You're like a heat seeking missile that's focused only on gifts when it's time to shop for gifts. Or you could be a discovery person. You could be the person that sees something at a, you know, an antique store in July. and you know it would be such a great gift for your sister or mom or friend or whatever and you buy it then you kind of always have your radar up right when something reminds you of someone that you love so if you do love to shop that way and that matters to you it's likely that waiting to do that discovery until December it will be stressful if you're a discovery person name when it's good for you

to start shopping and honestly it could be all year round I'm kind of that way if I see something that reminds me of someone I care about, I get that thing. I bought my sister's birthday present three months before her birthday because I saw something I knew she'd love and I just got it. I do that with a lot of people. I love shopping that way. Now, if you don't or that does not matter to you in this season, then do not do it that way. But knowing if you're a like discoverer, it helps because usually that kind of person needs a longer runway than just December. Rule number five, value doesn't have to require money. So my sister Hannah and I, we had a great conversation about this on our like secret monthly podcast for Patreon supporters called the Lazy Sisters podcast. And we talked about all kinds of

things related to gift giving. And she brought up how she had like felt bad for a while about the gifts that she gives because of being on a tight budget. And that kept her from really enjoying the process of choosing gifts for people she loved because she was equating value with money. You can give a valuable gift that does not cost much money. I think you, I think you like intellectually know this. We're smart people. But I want to remind you, in case you need the reminder, I want to give you the permission. If you're feeling bummed out entering another gift giving season where you have maybe like

$10 or $20 to spend on your dearest people, especially when a gift guide I once saw in a magazine gave me the perfect gift for my mail carrier and it was $35. I want you to remember that value does not. require money. We'll be right back. Want to go electric without sacrificing fun? That's the Volkswagen ID4. All-electric and thoughtfully designed to elevate your modern lifestyle. The Volkswagen ID4 is fun to drive with instant acceleration that makes city streets feel like open roads, plus a refined interior with innovative technology always at your

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can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Okay, rule number six, which is very related to rule number five, splurges don't have to be expensive. When we think splurge, we think excess, which can be true, but excess does not have to be expensive. One of my favorite books is Joyful by Ingrid Fettel Lee, where she breaks down the mechanics of what makes people experience joy. It is a scientific approach to manufacturing joy, and it is fascinating, and it also works. One of the things that gives people joy that I learned from this book is abundance.

And in this context, abundance doesn't mean financial abundance or materialistic success. It's more like repetition or a lot of something. Ingrid writes this. It took me a little while to understand why confetti, polka dots, and stripes have such an outsize effect. The reason is deceptively simple. small things repeated many times create a burst of joy much bigger than each individual piece could. And that makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? If you wear a black raincoat versus a rainbow polka dot raincoat, your sense of joy will likely be different. Now, I'm a pretty like neutral,

classic person when it comes to my clothes and I sometimes sacrifice my joy for minimalism and simplicity, which I kind of like don't want it to be that way as much anymore. But things that are repeated and abundant bring a lot of joy. So how does this apply to giving gifts? A splurge can be thought of as something you don't usually get for yourself. Okay. Now that splurge can be expensive and grand, like a day at the spa. But a splurge can also be every chocolate snack at Trader Joe's.

That is abundant repetition and brings a lot of joy. But it doesn't cost hundreds of dollars. I once gave a family friend on her night the birthday, like six or seven packs of Trader Joe's soft mango because she always ate it when she came to my house and loved it. So why not get her a lot of it? And the smile on her face was the best. One, it was an abundant gift. There was a lot of this mango.

And two, and this is another principle, actually, a principle of joy from Ingrid's book. It was a surprise. Surprises bring us joy. Now, every gift is a surprise to a point. but getting a bag of mango is definitely not as common, right? And she loved it. So when you're thinking about splurges, especially if you're on a limited budget, think about abundance, a bunch of different pens to test for your pen-loving friend, six different kinds of

like dips or salsa or something for someone who loves trying new foods. You can get like three big boxes of your coworker's favorite can drink. Doing more than one, adding abundance in some way. it brings a lot of joy and it feels like a splurge because of that abundance, because of that excess, but it doesn't have to be expensive. Rule number seven, pay attention to what makes people feel happy. This is why I love buying gifts for people, honestly. So I'm a pretty connected person and I really thrive in one-on-one relationships.

I remember things people say about what they love. I pay attention, perhaps to kind of like an intense level to what makes someone happy. Then when it's time to get a gift for that person, I look for something that I know makes them happy. My husband, Kaiz is one of the hardest people to buy for it because he's so content and he likes everything and he never wants for anything. It's kind of annoying. But the man loves Koso. He adores Koso. And weirdly doesn't often get it for himself or he like hoards it when he does and then he stretches it out, you know.

So a fun gift to get cause is a bunch of K-So because it makes them so happy. So pay attention to what makes your people happy. Just ask yourself that question. Like what has made so-and-so happy lately? Is it music? You could get that person a premium subscription to Spotify or like surreptitiously find out if they have a record player and get them an artist they love on vinyl. A lot of people don't splurge on vinyl.

Or you can get them concert tickets or like a new set of Bluetooth headphones if you've got a bigger budget. like what would enhance their happiness in an area they already love rule number eight so tracking is helpful but do it your way all right tracking is helpful but do it your own way first here's my tracking is helpful i think a lot of us forget what we bought right there's like a decent chance you have a lot of people to think about during the holidays and unless you shop in a batch in one day or whatever you might forget if you ended up getting that truck for your nephew or or if you should get this stuffed giraffe that you see when you're at the store, you're like, did I already get something for this person? So I think it's probably important to track your gift somewhere, but I want you to do it your way.

Do you need to track what ideas you have? Are you tracking what you're specifically shopping for? Do you need to track what you already bought or already did buy a few months ago when you found something that you thought someone would love? You don't have to elaborately track everything. I think that's just like building it too big and then you're going to get overwhelmed. But it's still highly likely that your gift giving journey, it's going to be smoother if you're keeping track of what matters most or what impacts your energy the most. It could be money, it could be time, it could be the actual gifts. So don't track everything, but consider what would be helpful to track. Rule number nine, make it fun. Okay, so depending on your personality or your family situation or your money situation, gift giving might feel discouraging. You wish you had more to

spend. You wish you didn't have like weird family relationships that are highlighted by the fact that you have no idea what to get your sister-in-law because y'all aren't close. You live alone or you don't have many siblings or your parents are no longer in your life. And so you don't want to track gifts because there's so little to track and that makes you sad. That is a real thing. There's a lot about the holiday season that can be discouraging. Also, gift giving can be a drag because it's so stressful. There might not be like big emotional weights connected to gifts, but logistically, you are very way down because there's so much to choose and buy and wrap and mail. So make it fun.

This is rule number nine. What will make your process fun? Now only you can answer that, right? Because you have different definitions of what fun is than I do. But here are some thoughts. You can listen to a great playlist in your earbuds when you're shopping at a store. You can write your gift list on a piece of paper. paper that makes you laugh or brings you joy. I have never done this, but I might this year. I just

had the silly idea to print out a picture of my beloved James McAvoy and write my shopping list on that paper. So when I'm at the store and I look at what's next on my list, the ridiculousness of having a pixelated printer image of James McAvoy will make me laugh every single time. Watch a great movie while you're wrapping gifts. Get a happy little like polka dot notebook to write down all your gift ideas. P.S. I have a gift notebook where I write down ideas for all the people. every year and then I write down when I ended up getting them. Then when it's time to shop the next year, I know what I got people the years before because y'all, I don't remember things that already happened. It's kind of a problem. But even in sharing this point with you all, I'm actually realizing

that my gift notebook is just a black moleskin. I would love like a happier, more fun little notebook, right? I think I'm going to look for one. There are a different way, you know, we already talked about how you can track what matters to you, remembering what I got people. It does kind of matter to me. So maybe I'll switch it up and get something more fun because it's important to make things fun. That's the whole point. Rule number 10, what you do this year is not what you'll do forever. So I mentioned this already, but it is an important point to end on. What you decide to do this year, who you give gifts to, if you give gifts at all, how much you spend, all those things. What you decide to do this year is not your lot for the rest of your life. It's just for this year.

choose what matters this year. Then next year, ask the question again. What you do this year is not what you'll do forever. Okay, so those are the 10 rules for holiday gift giving. If you would like some help with holiday gifts, Team LG has put together a fantastic list of ideas for you. Leah, our creative director, she put together the whole thing to look beautiful, but every single person on my team, on Team LG, including the men in our lives, selected their favorite gifts to give. So these are all tried and true gifts that we have all had success with.

So you can check that out at the link in the show notes. Also in that gift guide is a list of a few small businesses and websites that are like great places to go looking for gifts. So if you're still in the market for stuff, you can check out that gift guide. And before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. We haven't had one of those in a couple weeks, so it's fun to get back into it. This week, it is Chelsea Richio. I'm sorry, Chelsea.

I feel like I'm saying your last name incorrectly. but here's what Chelsea wrote. I loved getting notes in my lunchbox as a kid and I wanted to start the tradition with my first grader. I bought a 2021 day-by-day calendar in August, so it was on sale, and I used the back of the page to write the note. So art is on the front, note on the back. Thanks for all you do. I love this idea, Chelsea, like so much. I used to love those tear-off yearly calendars when I was younger. I had a Dilbert one because, of course I did, like as a sixth grader. those things were so cool they felt so grown up so thank you for sharing this lovely idea i think some people are definitely going to use it and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week

okay that's it for today remember that the lazy genius gift guide is linked to the show notes and you get to decide what matters to you about this next season of gift giving i hope this episode has helped thanks so much for listening and until next time be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't i'm kendra and i'll see you next next week. Do you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the

process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcast. Thanks.