The Lazy Genius Podcast - #243 - Lazy Genius Questions for the Start of 2022

Episode Date: January 3, 2022

It’s the first Monday in January which always has some fun energy to it. Fun? Is fun the right word? It has an energy to it. The level of fun depends on your personality and circumstances I suppose. So as we move into this new calendar year, I want us to do it like Lazy Geniuses.   Helpful Companion Links 30 Lazy Genius Questions for the Start of a New Year The Next Right Thing Guided Journal by Emily P. Freeman (affiliate link) Episode #191: Naming What Matters in 2021 Episode #139: How to Plan Your Time This Winter Episode #90: Set the Right Goals Without Fizzling Out Episode #43: The Lazy Genius and Self Care Join the mailing list to get the Latest Lazy Letter (next one goes out Wednesday!) Download a transcript of this episode     This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amazon presents, Laura versus Fruitflies. Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen, these little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo. Chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. Hey there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today's episode 243. Lazy Genius Questions for the start of 2022. It's the first Monday in January, which always has some fun energy to it. Well, I mean, fun. Is fun the right word? I don't know if fun is. It has an energy to it. The level of fun depends on your.

personality and circumstances, I suppose. But New Year's do offer deep breaths, clean slates, maybe a little hope. Granted, when I went back and looked at this episode from last January, which was called Naming What Matters in 2021, I was clearly under the impression that we were moving back into a state of normal again and had a lot more hope about that than actually happened in 2021. Life is still upside down in many ways. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't hope. So as we move into this new calendar year, I want us to do it like a lazy genius. I want all of you listening to feel confident and grounded in any decisions you make about

what you want to be geniuses about and what you want to be lazy about. What matters? I also want you to kindly, kindly hold those decisions and not grip them into existence. circumstances change, expectations change, CDC requirements change, kids change, jobs change, personalities change. As we begin this episode and this year, it's so important to be kind as we leave space for things to change. What you decide now will very likely shift before the end of 2022. It's just the way it goes. Remember from last week's episode, I did one of the, I did one of the seven things that I set out to do last year. Just one. I gave you the recap of my

48th year. I did just one of the things. Things shift. And that's okay. This process is simply naming an intention and living with it until things shift in whatever ways they might need to. Now, I've said this before, but I am not naturally gifted at reflection. I'm focused on right now first. I'm very present focused. I plan second. And then I look back in a very distant third. Side note, Emily P. Freeman is a fantastic guru for reflection. If you would like some guru-ness in that area.

And if you would like an actual guide for regular reflection, check out her next right thing guided journal. It is a fantastic resource for people like you and me who don't reflect very well on our own. So I like to be where I am. I like to make right now better. And then I like to look ahead. But we look ahead better when we know where we came from. We know this. So I want to share a list of questions to help you think about 2022 like a lazy genius. And many of those questions do focus on this last year on looking back on for where we are, 2021. I listed 30 questions in a blog post

called 30 lazy genius questions for the start of a new year, creative title. The link will be in the show notes so you can access them easily. I am not going to expand on all 30 questions in this episode. But what I do want to do is suggest how you can incorporate the answers to those questions into intentions for the next year. Now, before, we get into some of those questions. Let's talk for a second about this idea of goals and growth and such. This time of year, this is a weird thing, but I always think about like Laura Ingalls and Little House on the Prairie. I think about Wendell Berry and just the general farmer that has existed from decades, even centuries ago. I always think about how this idea of New Year and fresh starts, how it seems so

modern. Like, did people 200 years ago set New Year's resolutions? Two thousand years ago? I always think about it, but I never really explore it. This year I did. I read like two articles from the history channel, so I'm basically an expert now. But I learned that people have been making choices for the future and reflecting on past choices at the start of the new year as early as like 4,000 years ago. But most of those ceremonies or those rituals or whatever were built around commitments to the gods or to the capital G god, commitments to pay debts that were owed, celebrating another harvest year since the new year for a long time wasn't marked by January 1st, but it was marked in mid-March when it was time to start a new season of planting.

it's only been recently. The point is, it's only been recently where these new year resolutions were made to ourselves for our own self-improvement. And here's why I always think about Little House. I used to love reading those books as a kid. Oh my gosh. Like paragraphs and paragraphs of how they cured meat and stored potatoes in the cellar. Like they hunker down in the winter. They enjoyed being outside in the spring. I loved it. I loved it. I also love the children. I also love the children. book, The Ox Cart Man for that same reason. It is a beautiful book about a man who he takes his ox and a cart full of foods that he grew, candles his family made, pillows that his wife and his daughter embroidered, and he travels for days and days to town where he sells all of those goods.

Then he sells the ox cart. Then he sells the ox. And with a pocket full of coins and if few supplies that he can't make himself on his farm, he goes back home, where his family then spends the next year growing more food, making more candles, and bordering more pillows. The man builds a new cart for an ox that's like, was a baby ox and is now becoming a grownup ox. It is so rhythmic and cyclical and beautiful. And what I'm realizing is that the, uh, the hopes and the dreams and the intentions for this family, by this family, are decided by the season. The Ingalls family is the same way, right? They're not making resolutions to drink more water, get off their phones for very obvious

reasons. There were no phones. But the energy in a new year, it always leaves me conflicted because I think about that way of living, that cyclical way of living. I have said before that I wouldn't mind living in an apocalypse as long as there weren't zombies or anything like terrible chasing me. I would actually, I think, kind of enjoy living with very few items where the seasons dictate what I was doing. But then I think about how I don't like dirt under my fingernails. I really like target pickup. It's probably okay that that life actually

isn't for me. It's like ideal in my head, but it's not the reality. But the spirit is there. I think we all have the spirit of wanting to focus on what matters most, not on everything that could possibly matter. That's why you're here. That's why you want to be a lazy genius. Where we live, the culture that we live in, this generation is one that has to work much harder to figure out what matters. The answer to that question used to be a lot simpler. And that's the simplicity that I kind of lean toward and want to hold on to when I think about Wendell Berry and Laura Ingalls and the Oxcart Man. I wish it was easier to choose what matters. I wish there weren't so many options, right? There used to be so few options. Now we have every

option in the whole world. So our task as lazy geniuses moving into this new year is to kindly, honestly, and intentionally limit our options so that we're not constantly overwhelmed by what doesn't matter. So I think a really good place to start is with these questions I mentioned earlier. Again, the list is on the blog. It will be linked in the show notes. But I will run through a few of them here to give you an idea of kind of what they are. Now, there's nothing super new here. Like lists of end-of-year questions are generally the same-ish. So you can use this list or any other that you like, but I'm going to highlight a few questions that I find to be very important for me that I hope are very important for you. I think it's good to name, this is no surprise coming from me,

I think it's really good to name favorite things from the past year. I do episodes about things that are saving my life. I did the favorites file in early 2022 when the pandemic started about favorite TV shows and characters and all that stuff. Things like books, shows, movies, the obvious. What was your favorite thing? But I also like asking, what was your favorite outfit you loved? because that kind of gives me a window into what was either really comfortable, what I was in a lot, what made me feel like myself. I ask what my favorite place was, what my favorite time of day was. Naming those things, it helps you center in your, like, regular day and then maybe prioritize those places or times a day in the future in the coming year. I also want you to ask yourself what was

restful to you and what was energizing to you. We struggle so much to create and schedule rest. Schedule rest is a lazy genius principle, but we really struggle to do that in the future. So name what was restful in the past. That can help. Name what was energizing as well. Even though that's not technically rest, the lazy genius definition of self-care, which includes rest, is doing whatever makes you feel like yourself.

And usually things that bring us energy fall. into that category. Not always, but often. There are also some questions on that list about how you feel about yourself. What was hard at the start of the year that's easier now. How have you changed? What have you learned? How do you feel about yourself after last year? And what do you want to feel about yourself in the coming year? That's an important question because so much of the new year like kind of spin cycle that we get stuck in is about becoming a certain kind of person who does a certain kind of thing. To keep yourself out of that spin cycle, name really and truly how you want to feel about yourself. And is that feeling a kind one? Is it taking your season of life into account?

Is it assuming you have certain tools or resources or abilities that you don't actually have yet? or might not ever have? So many of these questions are geared towards being honest about how you feel about yourself, giving yourself credit for the good that you've done, celebrating the fun things and the accomplishments, and then just like the regular existing that you have done. And as you hold that posture toward yourself, hopefully it will help you move into intentions for a new year with more kindness.

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next question how do i want to feel about myself in the coming year okay what do you want your posture to be toward yourself and as you answer that let that be a filter through which you process any priorities or goals or dreams for this next year are you creating lists of things to do that align with how you truly want to feel about yourself now that is not a trick question or a leaning question like just be aware of how your view of yourself impacts the goals that you might set. Now after that, I would like you to ask, what do I want to bring from last year into this year? This speaks to different things that you might have learned about your personality, observations about how you've changed as a person in big ways or small ways,

how you move in the world, how you interact with people, you know, that kind of thing. or maybe it's a habit. Maybe there's something you started doing in 2021 that you want to keep doing in 2022. It matters because you've experienced the positive effects that it's had on your life. So what do you want to bring from last year into this year? Now here's where we get into the nitty gritty. The next question on the list is, what do I think will matter this year? Hopefully, after answering the, you know, 20 plus questions that came before this, you'll have a better idea of. what this answer could be. Now, personally, my answer at the start of 2021 of last year, and I talked about this in a podcast episode, was honoring my body and seeking after joy. Those were the two things

that personally mattered to me, mostly because at that point, my body had been through a lot in 2020. It was tired. It was always last on the list. And I wanted to honor it more. And then the joy part was because 2020 was so daggone depressing that I wanted to intentionally seek after and share joy. Makes sense. So those were the two things that I named that I assumed would matter most last year. So what do you think will matter this year for you? If the year is too big, which it often is, make it smaller. Break it down by season or quarters, you know, or even by month. What matters most this month in this season of life that I'm in. Now, I realize this question is a big one. It can be very overwhelming because part of the problem is trying to make everything matter, right? But let's go back to our like Laura Ingalls,

Oxcart Man line of thinking. Their lives were simpler. Maybe not easier, but simpler because their list of priorities was short. Even though the possibilities that could exist on your list are way longer than what, you know, Laura's family would have, that does not mean that you can't make a shortlist for yourself. You can. And can I, can I offer a slightly deep thought for you to consider in this process? I was talking to my therapist the other day about about my life and where I am. We were kind of doing like a tiny bit of end of year thinking. And I realized how my life is busier than it ever has been before. There's more on my plate than has ever. Has ever been on my plate before, but that I also feel more calm and more myself than I have ever felt before.

I've always thought that by managing my to-do list and my schedule and my circumstances and my habits and all that, that I can be better at life. And while learning those things is great and there are even like podcast episodes right here on this feed that can help you with some of those things, I believe, this is just me, but I believe the most powerful thing we can put in tension word is learning about ourselves, learning about our own patterns, communication patterns, thought patterns, telling ourselves our own true stories, naming the tendencies that we have that put us in kind of less than ideal emotional circumstances. The more I learn about myself, the more that I tell myself the truth about who I am, the more I believe,

that my value doesn't come from what I've always thought it came from. It doesn't come from what value other people assigned to me or what I do or how capable or perfect or fill in the blank that I am. The more I realize the truth of who I am and the value that I have as a person, the more grounded and whole I feel no matter what my circumstances are. So the more I receive like helpful tools to help me manage not so much my to-do list, but the stress around not having it done, the better it is. I'm busier than ever, but I'm also like the happiest and calmest that I've ever been because I'm learning how to be not so much choosing what to do. So if you're overwhelmed by the list of all the things that could matter, I would include

encourage you to think about what your year would look like if you prioritized learning about yourself. Go to counseling. Explore, you know, some deeper levels of things like the enneagram. Like that's a tool. That's a self-awareness tool. Pay attention to when you disconnect from relationships and what's going through your head when that happens. You know, you notice those things.

You can adjust in the tiniest of ways. Seek out a tool or two to help you navigate that process. of becoming more of yourself. I think that it's just an incredibly helpful transformative thing to make matter. Not who you should be, but who you already are. Just brighter and without as much baggage because you're learning to name what you're carrying that you don't need to and being able to release yourself from the role that that baggage has had for you in your life so far. So that's kind of a bigger, broader thing, but I feel like it's important. And then the next question that can help you connect with what matters is, what habits or rituals

or rhythms would I like to see in my life this next year? Now, this is not about doing the things that everyone else says to do. But when you think about the answer to say like what your favorite time of day is or your favorite place to be, maybe a way to answer this question about habits or rituals or rhythms is to make that place or that time of day a regular priority for yourself. If you love Twilight, not the, not the books or the movie, but like the time of day, if you love Twilight, but you find yourself like having to rush through chores and dinner cleanup and kid bedtimes or whatever so that you always miss twilight, maybe you choose one night a week where you go outside and enjoy the twilight.

I would like to say every night, but I realize that that might not be feasible for a lot of you, especially folks who are like full-time working parents. A lot has to happen in that small handful of hours that you're home between work being done and going to bed. So relishing twilight every single day might. not be as realistic. But one night a week, I think that's a ritual you can probably do. So what habits or rituals or rhythms would you like to see in your life this next year? And then pick one. Start small. Make how you do it even smaller. It is better to begin in a very small way and keep

going than build it big and never start. Speaking of starting, the next last question is kind of a pair of questions. What would I like to finish and what would I like to start? I think it's important to have projects or goals or whatever, whatever word you want to use that aren't going to be A to Z in one calendar year. To me, that can be a lot of unnecessary pressure. But naming something that's already started that you would like to finish, that seems reasonable. naming something that you would like to start without the expectation of finishing it in 2022, that also seems reasonable. So what do you want to finish and what do you want to start? And the final question is, based on this last year, what advice would I give myself moving into this

next year? I love this question and this perspective because it helps us be kind to ourselves. We have reflected, we've named a lot of things that matter. And now that we've we've named a lot of things that matter. and now that we have another year behind us and we're in kind of reflection mode, what advice would we give to ourselves? I think that reflection posture leads itself, lends itself to greater kindness even. So what advice would you give yourself? And then take that advice. Maybe even make it smaller, make the advice smaller because we, again, tend to make things

kind of big. And remember that advice as often as you're able. Now, if you want to take any of these answers or intentions or rituals or whatever you're bringing into the new year that is measurable, how do you want to maintain and measure that thing based on the advice you just gave yourself? Create the smallest rhythms with the kindest heart, remembering that your circumstances are not what determine your life, but how you respond to those circumstances. It's like Gandalf says to Frodo.

all we have to decide is what to do with the time that has given us. I watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy last week while I are at present. So Gandalf is top of mind right now. But that's still the truth. Our existence in this world is more rooted in who we are and how we are than in what we do. And resolutions are almost always based on what we're doing. And while I get the idea that our that our actions impact our thoughts. I also think that our world is already so action-based that sometimes we just need to focus less on the doing and more on the being. Just be.

Just learn about yourself. Kindly create opportunities to do that and be soft with yourself in the process. Do what makes you feel like yourself. Do what gives you energy. Do what brings you rest. Be with people who love you well in the midst of that. Try out counseling for the first time. or go back after not having gone for years.

I think, well, I hope that answering some of these questions, it will help you in that process of becoming more of who you already are in this next year. And that's it for today. The link to the list of questions, like I said, will be in the show notes, as well as a couple of other past podcast episodes that might give you some encouragement. Also, the next issue of the latest lazy letter goes, out on Wednesday of this week. And I'm going to share some of my own answers to some of these questions in that newsletter if you'd like to get it. And just a reminder for the newsletter,

we do a giveaway every month for subscribers, one winner that's been on the list a while and then one that just signed up within the last month. So winners get their pick of anything from the Lacey Genius store. It's really fun. So be sure to sign up if you are interested. And by signing up, I mean just join the mailing list. That's it. And the link for that will be in the showments. So that is it for today. Thank you so much for listening. And until next. time be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living

a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, But there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.