The Lazy Genius Podcast - #244 - How to Choose the Right Lazy Genius Principle for You

Episode Date: January 10, 2022

In my book The Lazy Genius Way, I share 13 principles you can use to Lazy Genius any situation in your life. Sometimes you might need one principle, sometimes a few together, and sometimes you don’t know which to choose. When you’re faced with some sort of challenge whether it’s a system in your home, a relationship hangup, a time management problem, whatever it might be, even with 13 principles to choose from, sometimes that still seems like a lot. Hopefully, this episode will give you a tangible framework for how to choose the right Lazy Genius principle for you.   Helpful Companion Links Grab a copy of The Lazy Genius Way (or preorder The Lazy Genius Kitchen — out March 22!) Principle Categories Instagram post Download a transcript of this episode.     Lazy Genius of the Week: Paula Kay Myers Love the soup podcast and need to share with you my LG gift idea. My 80-year-old dad and stepmom, like most 80-year-olds, don’t need or want anything. They actually act bratty when receiving a gift. But 2 years ago I had a brainstorm! I wrapped a case of 12 quart mason jars in Christmas paper and when they opened it I told them it was a soup of the month club. Perfect gift - consumable, practical, and something to look forward to. And I always delivered it with fresh bread. It also obligated me to a monthly visit with them. We were about 45 minutes apart at the time and they absolutely loved it. And began asking me in March when they had the option to renew. My husband and I have since moved 12 hours away so this year when I was visiting after Thanksgiving, I filled their deep freezer with bags of soup and wrapped up 2 cute soup bowls. Best gift I’ve ever given.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amazon presents, Laura versus Fruitflies. Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen, these little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo. Chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. Hi there. You are listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 244. How to know what lazy genius principle is right for you. If you are new to these parts, I wrote a book that came out in 2022, a great year to release a book, right? Called the lazy genius way. In that book, I share. I share.

13 lazy genius principles that you can use to lazy genius any situation in your life. Sometimes you might need one principle, sometimes a few together, and sometimes you just don't know which one to choose. When you are faced with some sort of challenge, whether it is like a system in your home, it's a relationship hang up, a time management problem, whatever it might be, even with only 13 principles to choose from, sometimes that still seems like a lot. when we're overwhelmed, that can feel like a lot. And then what if you didn't choose the best one? How do you know what the best one is? Maybe you need more than one. How do you know? And then that's when y'all send me DMs of panic and are like all caps like Kendra, what do I do? You can still send me

those DMs, by the way. But hopefully this episode will give you a tangible framework for how to choose the right lazy genius principle for you. Now here's the thing. There are multiple ways you can choose what principles right for you. Sometimes you know, sometimes you're like, I need to decide once on this thing. And then you move on. You decide and you move on, literally three seconds later. The beauty of these 13 principles is their versatility. You can even be versatile as we will learn in how you choose to apply them. For example, I, like I just said, you could do them just like pick one and be done. I shared on Instagram, that was a while back. And I have, I think I have mentioned it like here or there, other places. But another way that you can choose is by asking yourself,

is something out of order, out of rhythm, or out of sorts? If it's out of order and you just like need a quick win, you know, with a challenge, like a metaphorical or a physical tidy of things, then you can potentially use these principles for something being out of order. Put everything in its place. Start small. Decide once and ask the magic questions. Those are all pretty quick wins as far as the principles go. You get those effects right away. If you are out of rhythm, maybe something feels consistently off the rails. Some principles to potentially help you with that are set house rules, build the right routine, essentialize, batch it, and go in the right order.

If you are feeling out of sorts, if it's more of an emotional roller coaster than like a domestic or a scheduling one, consider these principles. Let people in, schedule rest, live in the season, and be kind to yourself. Those are some like super loose categories out of order, out of rhythm out of sorts that can help you narrow down

what principle might make sense for your situation. But here's a thing. Here's the thing. After I posted those categories on Instagram, some of you were like, oh yes, this is so great. Thank you for narrowing these options. And then others of you were like, what if you're all three? What if you're all three of them? What if you're out of order and out rhythm and out of sorts all at once? And I get that energy very much. I do. Also, let's be real. These 13 principles are not stuck in one category. Decide once can be used for any of those three things and for anything else that we didn't even categorize, right?

decide once is definitely a quick win. It's great for when things fill out of order, but you can use it beyond that, much like you can all the others. So again, the magic of these principles is a versatility, but the versatility of these principles can also sometimes cause a little bit of stress because you don't quite know what to try first, especially if you are already stressed out about the problem you're trying to lazy genius. And that is what I want to share in this episode. I'm going to lay out kind of a loose order of the principles of when you want a lazy genius. is something, but just like those three categories I just talked about, out of order, out of rhythm, out of sorts. This particular way is not the only way to do it. It's just a way, right? So if you're

looking for another way to think about how these principles can work together and work in your life, I do think that this episode will help. We are going to use all 13 principles today. And the first one we're going to apply is the principle go in the right order. Lots of things have a right order. But a general right order that you can apply to most things is to, one, name what matters, two, calm the crazy, and three, trust yourself with what comes next. And I go into detail about that in the book, in the lazy genius way. So when you're trying to lazy genius something, let's go in the right order. If we are going to name what matters about your problem, which is the first step, right? We need to know what the problem is, right? You can't name what matters about something until you've named the something.

So what's the problem? Name the problem. Sometimes that's easy to do. Sometimes you're just like, everything's the worst. But start by naming your problem. Put real words to it. And if those words are super broad, like everything's the worst, try and make the problem smaller.

Keep asking why? If everything is the worst, why? Why does it feel like everything is the worst? What's really the worst right now? Try and be specific. make it smaller. Now here's a very important piece of this of this puzzle. Be careful that you don't see your answer as a right or wrong answer. You might try and name the problem and name what matters about it, but as you make the problem smaller, you might think, well, like, what if I'm picking the wrong

problem? What if something else matters more than this? What if I'm solving the wrong thing or doing it in a wrong way? I would like to release you from that line of thinking. Okay. You can't, You can't make everything a morality issue. Some things are not right or wrong. Some things just are. And it is not a waste of time for you to solve a secondary problem. It's not a waste of time to say that one thing matters and then have that thing changed the next day. All of that is completely normal. The alternative to being flexible with what you name is spinning your wheels trying to find like the most significant challenge rather than just dealing with something in front of you. I mean, for me, I know I for sure have spent like an obscene amount of energy over the years

thinking about my problems, you know, like listing out what they might be, creating these very intricate, gigantic systems to fix them. I had to find the right problem and then create the perfect solution and usually didn't do anything because that's just not real life, right? It's just not a realistic expectation or a wise use of your time. So if you are feeling, upside down and you need a lazy genius something. Don't worry about naming the problem perfectly or knowing exactly what matters forever and ever. Yes, I want you to try and make it smaller. I want you to try and put some words to it, but don't obsess over it. You're going to keep living your life. And if you address one problem, but like a week later, you find that paying attention to a different problem would be

better for you or that something else matters entirely now, just pivot. Just pivot. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. life is not set it and forget it. You're not an instant pot. You are a person. Okay. Don't spend so long on this part on naming the problem that you don't actually do anything that helps you. Okay. Okay. So go on the right order by naming the problem and what matters about it. And after that, we're supposed to calm the crazy. And I want to introduce three of the 13 principles for that purpose. Your problem solving brain is potentially like mine, which I describe lovingly as a caffeinated squirrel brain. Your thinking itself might be the thing that's making you crazy. Maybe, especially if you are frustrated and you are in problem solving mode.

So here are three principles to help calm that crazy. First, be kind to yourself. Please, please, please. Usually when we go nuts trying to solve problems, we are not super gentle or kind or compassionate with ourselves. You might blame yourself that you can't figure this thing out, you know, or you say you'll never be able to do it or you're like just generally huffy with yourself. Please be kind. Please be kind. Second, live in the season. There's a decent chance that your problem is linked to the season of life you're in.

But because you haven't named that, you are expecting a certain situation or area of your home or your schedule to look a certain way, but you don't live that way anymore. That's not your season. You're in a different season now. I know right now I'm in a brand new season of being a like mostly full time working parent with three kids in school, one of whom is newly in middle school. And I do not know what I'm doing, like at all. I haven't quite figured out how to do meal stuff the way that I used to, how to get chores done or how to spend time with my kids now that they're getting older and they have more going on. and they're gone more, they're out of the house more, I'm in a new season. And if I expect to grocery shop the same way or parent the same way or have my family dynamic work the same way that it used to,

but I'm in a different season, I'm just going to get frustrated. So to help calm the crazy brain while you name the problem and what matters about it, please remember to live in the season. And then the third principle to apply at this stage is start small. Caffinated squirrel brains like to build big machines and create big solutions and are generally moving too fast to see the benefit of starting small. And that's why we need to do it even more. Start small. You're far more likely to move toward a solution with a tiny actual step than a million huge

imagined ones. So of the 13 principles, we've applied four so far. We're going to go in the right order by starting with calming or crazy. Be kind to yourself, live in the season, and start small. And we do that so that we can accurately, but not perfectly, name our problem and what matters most about it. We'll be right back. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for.

It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Okay, now that you've Calm the Crazy, look again once more at the problem and what matters about it. Put words to it as best you can and in the smallest way you can.

When you calm the crazy, you can do that a little bit more clearly. try and move from everything's the worst to something specific. Like, I'm feeling stressed out right now because I forgot to actually click the place order button on my online grocery pickup and now there are no groceries ready for me and therefore no dinner items ready for me for dinner tonight and I'm feeling super upset about it because today's already been kind of stressful. Like that's real and very specific. Okay.

So if you get specific about what the problem is, it helps you to name what matters. than more. Maybe what matters in this particular scenario is what matters most right now is I need to choose and then execute tonight's dinner because it's in an hour. You know, that's really what matters right now. Something that you just did in this imaginary example is you essentialized, which is the next lazy genius principle we're going to use. Essentializing is getting rid of what's in the way of what matters and making sure that you have what you need for what does. So in this scenario, reordering groceries or thinking about lunches tomorrow because like some of that stuff was in your grocery order or reorganizing dinner plans for the next few days,

those are not essential right now. Worrying about those and even planning for those is currently in the way of what matters most, which is deciding and getting dinner for tonight. It's not that those things don't matter. They just don't matter the most right now. So essentialize your situation. Remove what's in the way of your problem, whether it's something in your head or something on your counter and then make sure you have what you need for what does matter. So that's the fifth principle we've used at the 13. Essentialize. The sixth one I will offer up for

this like potential problem solving order is to put everything in its place. Put everything in its place. That could mean tidying a counter putting the grocery list. on the fridge or texting yourself a reminder so you don't forget to place that forgotten grocery order in that example. It could mean orienting yourself and your emotions and energy properly and kindly in the situation, putting those in their place. Put your shame in its place, which means away. Put family who had nothing to do with your forgetting to press the place order button. Put that frustration towards them away. Don't direct it towards them. Put everything in its place. Now you might stop here. You might have stopped several principles ago. But if you need to keep

going in lazy genius in your problem, there are three questions that you can ask yourself with principles as the potential answers. Okay. So let's recap real quick. So you've named the problem and you've named what matters about it through the lens of calming you're crazy by being kind of yourself, living in your season, and starting small. You've essentialized, you've gotten rid of what's in the way. You've put everything in its place to create a little bit of calm and order in your space and your mind. If you need to keep going, you can ask yourself, do I need help? Do I need a system? Or do I need rest? And you might need all three. But these are some paths to help you solve your problem. So let's start with do I need help. Are you feeling like you're spread too thin? You know, once you've gotten everything at its place and

you've gone through those steps, you're like, man, I still, I still can't do this by myself. And frankly, even if you're not spread too thin, you can still need help even when it's not a crisis situation. Don't forget that. You don't have to be in a crisis to ask for help. I talk about that in the book. I talk about that on Instagram. You don't have to be in a crisis to ask for help. That as you think about your problem, would it be good to have some help in some form? Three principles that you can use here are let people in, set house rules, and ask the magic question. Okay, let people in, obviously. That asks for help from specific people, right? Set house rules. That's a way of asking your people that you live with for help, but that's a bit more automated, right?

Maybe you need their help by setting a house rule. And then asking the magic question is a way that your, like, current self can help your future self. Okay. We're going to break those down just a little bit. So let people in. This one is obviously pretty obvious. If you have a problem and you know you need help, ask somebody. That's your solution. Ask someone for help. Think through the people in your life and what you need from them. It can be anyone from a friend or a family member that you lean on or it can be someone that you pay to lean on, like a therapist or an assistant or a housekeeper. I remember when I started this transition into full-time work at the beginning of the fall last year, but I was also kind of the on-call parent, right? I'm like, not full-time parent because the kids are in school every day, but I'm the on-call

parent. And I couldn't figure out when to run errands. I couldn't figure it out. I used to do it with Annie before or after preschool. But now that she's in kindergarten, I don't have those windows anymore. And like I couldn't go before because they go to school early. And then after they don't want to run errands. Like they need to do their homework and be kids and eat their snack and hang out of home. Right. I was so stressed out because I couldn't get all my grocery shopping done. I couldn't do my Amazon returns, my post office runs, all the errands. I just couldn't figure it out. I needed help. So I started using Walmart and Target grocery pickup almost exclusively. I rarely go in a store anymore. And I started paying my sister to run errands for me. And it's been wonderful.

It's been wonderful. So let people in. Another way to ask for help is to set a house rule in your home that your whole family can follow that supports what matters. If clutter on the counter is your problem, if that's what's making you crazy, ask for help by setting a house rule. Very kindly, you know, not like a dictator. This is for everybody. But just say, okay, y'all, I am thinking our family rhythm would run a bit smoother and my sanity would be better preserved if we have a house rule of, I don't know, take your shoes off at the door. It's not about a dirty carpet, but no one can seem to find their shoes when we're all leaving the house in the morning and it's stressful for all of us. So what do y'all think about trying a house rule for a short time of taking our shoes off at the door?

Let's try it and see if it works. You're asking for help. but in a slightly automated way with set expectations for the whole family. And then the third principle you can use when you need help is to help yourself by asking the magic question. The magic question is, what can I do now to make something easier later? Again, that's a whole principle with a whole chapter about it. Ask that about your situation. Do something to help your future self and you've just helped yourself out. Now, maybe you don't so much need help, but you need a system. This is a problem that is recurring. So a system will help solve it. Three principles you could use to create a system are build the right routine, decide once,

and batch it. The chapter on building the right routine is super detailed and very helpful. And I will not do it justice in this 30 seconds. But lazy genius routines are not about doing certain things in a certain order necessarily. It's more about where you're going. What matters? A routine is an on-ramp to that thing. But there's a chance you need a routine to help you address this problem that needs a system. Or you could batch it. That's another principle. Your system for this problem could be changing up how you do a task.

Maybe your dirty kitchen is frustrating you because you're at home with kids and you feel like all you do is clean up dishes. Instead of cleaning up dishes all the time after every meal and snack because your children eat like hobbits, there's like blades everywhere, have an area on your counter where all the dirty dishes go. I personally call that a dirty dishes zone. I talk about that in the book too. And just stack your dishes there as you pass by. Don't worry about loading the dishwasher or washing the dishes several times. Instead, batch it. Do it all at once. Load or wash everything all at once. So you're not doing something all the time if that is the frustration. There are a ton of ways that

you can use batching, but it's such a great principle to consider when you need a fresh but simple system for a problem. And the final principle that you could use for creating a system is to decide once. This is my favorite. Just make a decision about something and keep doing it until it doesn't work anymore. Do you struggle with figuring out what's for dinner? Create a system by deciding once that you eat a certain food on a certain day or that you always make extra dinner because your decide once for lunch is leftovers.

systemize getting ready by deciding once what you're going to wear, how often you wash your hair, what products you put on your face. I did an episode ages ago about makeup. I think it was called the lazy genius makeup routine and how I decided once what my makeup will be every day. I have three faces I choose from. Is it basic face, fancy face and something else face? Ready face. Ready face and fancy face. That's what it is. That's what they're called. Basic face, ready face and fancy face. I have like the certain products that go with that thing. I don't use everything every day. But if I'm doing fancy face, I do that.

So I've decided once on my makeup. I decided my makeup one time. And now we just don't have to think about it. I pull out my makeup and I put it on. It makes the rhythm of getting ready every day a lot easier. So if you need a system, you can try to build the right routine, batch it or decide once. All right, we've now talked about 12 of the 13 principles. And the final one that answers the final question, after you've named the problem, what matters

about it, you've calm the crazy, you've essentialized, you've put everything in its place, is, do I need rest? Do I need a break? Maybe you don't need a system, you just need a nap. That brings in our final principle of schedule rest. It's important to rest and relax and feel like a person. Schedule it. It rarely happens naturally.

And that might be the best way for you to lazy jeans, whatever you're problem is, is to schedule some rest. Again, this is not a clear-cut order, and it is certainly not the only way that you can use these 13 principles. It's just another way to think about how they all work together in the context of whatever problem you might have. So I hope this helps as you think about your problems, and you can lazy genus them in a new and fresh way. Okay, so before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week, it's Paula Kay Myers, who sent me this DM on Instagram. Love the soup podcast and need to share with you my lazy genius gift idea. My 80-year-old dad and stepmom, like most 80-year-old, don't need or want anything.

They actually act bratty when receiving a gift. But two years ago, I had a brainstorm. I wrapped a case of 12 quart mason jars and Christmas paper. And when they opened it, I told them it was a soup of the month club. It's the perfect gift, consumable, practical, and something to look forward to. And I always delivered it with fresh bread. It also obligated me to a monthly visit with them. We were about 45 minutes apart at the time, and they absolutely loved it, and began asking me in March when they had the option to renew. My husband and I have since moved 12 hours away, so this year, when I was visiting after

Thanksgiving, I filled their deep freezer with bags of soup and wrapped up two cute soup bowls, best gift I've ever given. Paula, this is so great. I love this idea. It's so personal. It's so sweet. And I hope that any of you listening find some inspiration in how Paula, lazy genius, the problem of giving her parents a gift that matter. And that is it for today. Thank you so much for

listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. If you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life, it's so dangerous to live that more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.