The Lazy Genius Podcast - #266 - How to Lazy Genius a Summer at the Pool

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

First, there’s a different strategy when you’re visiting the pool once or twice versus going to the pool again and again. If you’re going as a guest, you pack your bag with towels and snacks and whatever you or your kids need for the day, you go, you have fun, and you come home. One-off experiences are generally a little more forgiving. It’s the repeated ones that can be a bit frustrating. This episode is going to be focused on spending multiple days a week or basically spending the summer at the pool. There will be some great tips for people who only go once or twice or maybe go to the beach or just summer outings in general, but the focus here is going to the pool again and again.   Helpful Companion Links Episode 209: How to Keep Your Surfaces Clear Episode 210: How to Lazy Genius Kids’ Screen Time Episode 211: How to Plan a Summer Day Episode 212: A Guide to Summer House Rules Episode 213: Create a Summer Reading Club My pool bag Our pool towels The Summer Docket Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Hello, you are listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I am Kendra Adachi. I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 266. How to Lazy Genius a summer at the pool. I try not to do too many episodes that are not relevant to everyone in some form. So I'm sorry if you don't ever go to a pool or you live in another hemisphere where it's winter right now and a pool is the last thing from your mind. If you have no desire, or opportunity to be a pool person, hello, I have two things to offer. One, if you'd like to still listen to an episode of some sort, sometimes it can be fun to hear how lazy genius principles can be applied to things not in your life because they spark ideas for what you are actually experiencing. It's like cross-training, kind of, but for your brain, right? Two, if you're like, no, I don't, I don't want to listen to this episode, but I do want to listen to an episode. Maybe scroll back in your podcast app to this time last year. The episodes in late May were 209,

how to keep your surfaces clear. Two, ten, how to lazy genius kids screen time. Two, eleven, how to plan a summer day. Two, twelve, a guide to summer house rules. And two thirteen, create a summer reading club. Maybe something in there sparks a little curiosity and fits this time of year for the majority of our listeners, but it's a lot of the majority of our listeners. But it isn't pool related. Okay, let's jump into lazy genie saying a day at the pool. First, there is a different strategy when you're visiting the pool once or twice versus going to the pool again and again. If you're going as a guest, you pack your bag with towels and snacks and whatever you or your kids need for the day, you go, you have fun and you come home. One-off experiences are generally a little

more forgiving. It's the repeated ones that can be a bit frustrating. So this episode is going to be focused on spending multiple days a week or basically spending the summer at the pool. There will be some great tips for people who only go once or twice or maybe go to the beach or the lake or just summer outings in general. But the focus here is going to be the pool again and again. Now, full disclosure, this is only our family's second summer being members at a pool. We go to this sweet member-owned pool where a bunch of our friends and family go, even though our literal neighborhood pool. There is a pool down the street from our house, but we go to a different one. One of the biggest things about going to a pool is having friends there. And you can make friends,

for sure, and often do. But last summer, when we were considering joining a pool, it was either the convenience of the neighborhood pool or the existing friendships with some dear people in our lives at a different pool. And we picked the pool that had our people. And we have never looked back. We love our pool. But the point is, I'm not like some expert pool mom. Like, this is only my second summer corner to the pool. But we have gotten a great pool rhythm that feels worth sharing. I'm obviously, we lazy genius this. Now, I'm going to give you some of the choices that we make and the lazy genius principles that impact those choices. So you can choose what works for you. And you can apply the same principles, but in your own way, right? Now, first, I'm going to share like a few

static choices that we've made and then our pool routine. Okay. First up, we use the principle, put everything in its place for our pool stuff. We have one giant pool bag, which I'll link to in the show notes, where we put pretty much every single thing. It is from Target, from the shade and shoreline, and it's just this giant mesh tote. It's huge, which I love because we can fit pretty much everything in there. It's mesh, which makes it easy to find stuff because it's kind of, you know, see-through. It's light and it's thin, but it's really sturdy. It has outside pockets. It comes in fun colors. It's not expensive. It's just a really great bag. But the point is less about the bag and more about the concept of putting everything in its place. Everything goes in there

and everything stays in there. Goggles, sunscreen, pool toys, all of it. Those things are never removed from the bag. If a kid is holding their goggles, and we're leaving the pool, I'm like, put it in the pool bag, everything stays in there when it's not being used. In fact, that's where it's stored all year round.

At the end of last summer, when pool season was done, I put our towels, which I'll talk about in a second, they were clean, obviously. I put them in the bag with all our pool stuff and then I put that bag in the closet fully packed. And then when the pool opened a couple of weeks ago, like nine months later after I packed it, I just grabbed the bag. We were like, let's go to the pool. Everything was there. It was a delight. That bag is the place. That's where all the pool stuff goes. So keeping everything in there is so helpful that the overarching thing here is put everything in its place. Next up, let's talk about a decide once I have, which is I don't like to take more than we need. And I also like things to be

compact and small. That's just a choice. It's like, no, I want the smallest possible thing, right? The less I have to carry, the better. So I choose, always choose, to get the smaller, thinner, or lighter version of whatever the thing is. That means we have pretty thin towels. I will put a link to those in the show notes too, but they're huge, they're thin, they're colorful, they're microfiber. So they absorb water super quickly, but they also dry really quickly. We have five, one for each of us in five different colors so that everyone knows which towel is theirs. They're just like super great towels that we love. But I took the time to find thin, functional towels because not having a lot of stuff and especially bulky stuff, that matters to me.

So I decided once with our pool stuff, if we can get that thing but get it lighter, let's go lighter. next let's talk about food some of my favorite memories as a kid uh we're having snacks at the pool there's just something there's something so pure about it you know like sitting on the side of the pool eating a popsicle or a fun dip or a hot pretzel or something we have a snack bag which at the time i'm working on this episode i have not actually put together our snack bag yet for the summer but we have a snack bag. It's a separate smaller bag that only has snacks. Now here's the important thing for me. I don't want to give myself something else to manage or monitor. Anybody remember that Instagram post from quite a while ago where my friend Elizabeth said that? She said,

I don't want to give myself something else to monitor. And I was like, oh, that's so brilliant. So don't. I don't. I don't give myself something else to monitor here, which, I mean, you can monitor what you like if it's important to you, but I like to limit my monitoring energy. So our snack bag is full of snacks that I don't care that my kids eat. And frankly, there's very little that I care that they eat, to be honest. Like we put, we put chips and all kinds of things that, you know, people would call junk food. But we have convenience snack packs, you know, of chips and crackers and fruit snacks and applesauce packs. I also will get, you know, like my own little baggies and bag up a bunch of goldfish those yogurt covered cookies, you know, veggie straws, whatever else, dried fruit.

I'll throw some Clementines in there because those last a while and they don't get gross and it's like something fresh. We just have a big old bag of snacks. And I use the principle, put everything in its place by having one place for those snacks. And I also batch it. I use that lazy genius principle. I batch the packing of a snack bag by putting, like making a giant one that I just have to pack a handful of times across the summer. It's so easy. Now, what about how many snacks they can have? And what about the snack bar? And what if you're there for lunch and dinner? And, you know, these are valid questions. That can become frustrations. So we have, in our family, we have a couple of pool rules, kind of like house rules, which setting house rules is another lazy

genius principle. Our rule is two days a week, you get something from the snack bar. I haven't landed on the actual days of the week yet because frankly at the time I'm working on this we still have a couple of days left of school and we're not into our weekly pool rhythm yet but last year I think we did Tuesdays and Fridays I think but if the weather got in the way we just shift to another day it's not a big deal but the kids can get a snack bar snack whatever they want twice a week otherwise hit the snack bag now in terms of how many snacks they eat swimming and playing in a pool is hard work for a kid like truly so I usually do not deter them from eating. If they want to eat, I'm great with that. Most pools have a break at the end of each hour, right? And the default reaction of my kids, once they get out of the

pool, is to get a snack during break time. So if we are there for three or four hours, the reality is they might not really need a snack at each break, you know, but they also could, and that's fine. So what I do, before each break, I make just a quick assessment. I'm like, all right, what time is it? When was the last time they ate? Just kind of get the lay of the land, right? Because there's a difference in asking for a snack during break at, you know, one o'clock when we just had lunch an hour ago versus four o'clock and they haven't had anything yet, right? So if they ask for a snack, is it pretty likely, based on my assessment of the time and the situation, is it pretty likely that they're legit hungry and not just doing what's automatic, you know? So I am ready, which is kind of like

asking the magic question, right? What can I do now to make dealing with snack questions easier later? I'm going to think about what's going on and what I'll say to my kid. So when they come over to me at break and say, mom, can I have a snack? I'll almost always say yes. But if they just ate or it's really close to a meal time, I will usually ask a follow-up question of, do you think you can wait until the next break or wait till dinner or wait till lunch or, you know, whatever the next thing is? Do you think you can wait? And most of the time the kids are honest about it. They're like, yeah, I can wait. And then they run off to play foosball or whatever. I'm not telling them whether or not they're hungry. I'm just more reminding them to listen to their bodies and think about it. If they say no, they can't

wait, then I'll point them to the snack bag and I'll go back to reading my book. I think the deal with snacks in the pool is to remove as much friction as possible. Remove the monitoring. Remove the decisions, remove the daily packing even, batch it, put everything in its place, set house rules. Those three principles in particular are so, so helpful. We'll be right back. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public space can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life.

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Now let's get into the routine rhythm aspect of this. We generally stay, as a family, we generally stay at the pool for like three-ish hours. Now, two of my kids would stay for four or five, if not all day. The other kid is like a solid two-hour guy. So we tend to compromise with about three. At least that's what we did last summer. this summer we might have a different rhythm because my middle two-hour kid he can stay at home by

himself now and we might just run him home and then leave the others under the supervision of one of the many adults that we know at the pool and then just like go back and bring them home a little later but in general our rhythm is about three hours now we typically go between meals so you know one to four. But this summer, we will likely shift those hours to include dinner because cooking dinner in the summer is gross. And our snack bag is, not our snack bag, our snack bar. Our snack bar is solid. It is so great. It's like delicious food. So, and it's so cheap, which is wild. So we might move some of our days to three o'clock to six o'clock instead of one to four or whatever, you know, just in general. But knowing that we'll be there for about the same amount of time each time we go,

it really helps with expectations. So when it's time to go to the pool, you know, I'm like, all right, let's get ready for the pool. The kids get their suits on. And then we have a routine for this. The kids get their suits on. Then we use lotion sunscreen to get them all greased up at home right before we leave. We use spray sunscreen at the pool. That's just kind of like our rule. good old ocean at home spray at the pool. If we have tiny humans, which we have in the past, obviously, our tiniest is not very tiny. But if you have tiny humans, one of our favorite things was to do the starfish sunscreen technique. It's like the sweetest little hack that for some reason kids really like it just scream, go starfish, where they like jump out and they spread their legs

and arms wide. But then what's fun about it is like rice against the clock, you know, like maybe even you know, against the ocean waves that are coming fast. And we have. have to hurry and it's kind of like we have to get your sunscreen on like kids well not all kids but certain kids like really like the play of that it's generally a better energy than being like come on let's get your sunscreen on now some little kids it needs to be a game you know and starfish worked for us for some kids they're like um no thank you do not have a sense of humor in this moment just get it over with now my kids are mostly old enough to do like 90% of their own sunscreen at this point so it's shifted into being a much easier process, which is nice. But putting sunscreen on at home

before we leave is way better than trying to keep the kids from running into the pool the minute we get there and then having to drag them out to do something they don't want to do. It is part of our going to the pool routine. Swimsuits, pee, sunscreen, and then fill up water bottles. I grab the pool bag and the snack bag and the dried towels from our rack, which I'll explain in a minute, and then we're off. Like, it's all right there. It's all ready to go. We try and time our arrival at the pool to be just a few minutes before break time is over so that my kids can find their friends outside of the water, you know? So we just kind of start to get ready. We start a pool routine at about the same time at about half past. And then by the time we're ready and we get in the car and we get there,

perfect timing and then I just like claim my spot in my chair and off they go now what about the routine of leaving the pool we have one of those too the breaks are such helpful markers for that right you're never more than 45 minutes from being close enough to talk to your kid and not having to like shout right even if you're not at the pool that whole time now at the likely second to last break like when I think about our timing there, when we're at our second to last break, and we've got one more swim, right? And my kids come over to me for a snack, because they always do. I say, all right, let's do one more swim and then we'll leave at the next break.

Done. It's like a built-in expectation. It's also easier than leaving in the middle of the hour when a kid's friends are like, they're still playing and having fun. And you're like, this time to go, it's better to just leave at break time. If everyone is already getting out of the pool at the same time, there's just a natural break of play and an opportunity for my kids to say goodbye to their friends, right? My guess is y'all do this too.

It's not rocket science. Like leaving at break is great. But I think it's good to name the reasons why decisions like this are helpful. We leave at breaks. We give reminders that we're leaving at the next break. We have a routine of mental preparation so we're not dragging our kids kicking and screaming away from the pool, right? So that final break whistle sounds, and I usually have us packed up before the whistle. Then I heard my cats, I draped towels over their shoulders, you know, I have them put on

their shoes, and then we walk out. Now, if I am gathering up our stuff and packing up the pool bag and the kids are waiting for me, I will lose minimum two of them to the hubbub of their friends in less than a minute. Like they're gone. So it is a good idea for me to be ready when I tell them we're leaving. Like I just grab the bags. Then they just, you know, we just leave. We don't have to wait around for anything.

Again, that's a very, very simple thing. But the whistle is their signal, not mine. Then we walk to the car. They sit on their towels in the car. That's one of our house rules. And then we go home. Now, once we're home, we have a coming home routine as well. we have one of those foldable like laundry racks, you know, that we only pull out in the summer.

It sits in our dining room for three months and then we pack it up. It is part of our summer vibe. So the kids know to put everything in its place or at least know what to do when I remind them to put it in its place, which I have to do often, let's be real. But they, we get home, they hang up their towels first. I put the pool bag right by the drying rack, right by those. towels and that's where it will stay until tomorrow or whenever we go to the pool again. Then the boys, they head to my bathroom to take a shower. We don't even talk this through.

Like, this is just our pool routine coming home. The boys go to my bathroom and they take a shower. And Annie takes a bath in the other bathroom. Now, we have two bathrooms, so that makes our routine a little easier for us. But the point is we have a routine and we have an order of who goes where. The routine is just so helpful. Then once the kids get clean. I have to remind them of this part usually, but they know to hang up their swimsuits on that same

drying rack. That's just, that is the place. That is where all the pool stuff goes forever and ever. Amen. Is it an eyesore? Yes. Is it part of summer? Yes. Is it okay? Yes. Absolutely. Then, since most of the time, we come home from the pool, like right before dinner, they have screen time. As soon as they're done getting ready and they hang up their stuff, they can start screen time. It's just a really solid routine for us. Now, the same will happen, the same routine will happen when we stay at the pool for dinner as well. We'll come home, we'll shower and stuff, then they can have screen time. I just really, I just really love our routine. Again, it is not anything special, but it's like this is what we're doing in this order and it works for us. Now, here's the thing about routines.

remember it's about where you are going, not the steps to get there. What do you want to experience in your home or feel in your soul? What is that? I don't want to feel frazzled or frustrated with my kids when we're trying to get out the door to go to the pool, when we're trying to leave the pool and get to the car and when we're home and trying to get everybody clean, right? I don't want to feel frazzled, which is why that routine is really helpful. Everybody knows where to put their stuff and what to do each time. I also want to lean into our pool stuff being out all the time, right? That's okay. That's part of the season. But I also would rather it not be literally everywhere, you know? So part of our routine is honoring that desire, is having a set place for all that stuff. And part of our routine contributes

to repetitive steps so that the expectations are clear and easy. And I'm also not trying to decide in the moment if someone can have screen time or not or what someone should do with their dripping suit. Or if they have to take a shower, you know, like, do I have to take? No, it's part of a routine. Like, they don't even question it anymore. I sound like a drill sergeant. I'm really not.

I promise. It's just the rhythm. And it's a helpful rhythm for everybody. It's a good reset for everybody. our routine eliminates stress and questions. So I think the key here, no matter your specific pool situation or even your life situation, the key here is to limit your decisions as much as possible. You're not automating the life or the sparkle out of things.

You're automating everything else. You're automating the stuff that's like, I mean, does that really matter? and you can do that, you can automate that through simple routines that you build one step at a time. One final little tip I will share is for the question, can we go to the pool today? Or really any question of like, can we do this today, right? When you're not prepared to answer. Instead of saying, I don't know yet or something vague like that because you don't at that time have the energy or the information to decide, I would just suggest that you can answer something like this. I'll let you know by 11 o'clock. Or I don't know, but I'll let you know by lunch. Or I need to check

on a couple of things before I know if we can and I should have an answer for you in half an hour. Like give them something concrete or else they will nag and ask again because they want to go. And then you'll resent going and everything will explode inside and maybe even outside. And you're like, why some are the worst? Simply because they keep asking the same question over and over again. So try giving them a more specific time frame of when you will answer them, when you will have an answer, validate that they want to know, that it's important to them to know. But then you can also honor that within your own boundaries. You don't have to answer right away, but it's kind of you to give them like a little bit of expectation of when you will. Sometimes I'll say, I don't know yet,

but I'll have an answer in half an hour. In the meantime, think about something else to suggest for the afternoon if this doesn't work out. Like, depending on the age of your kid, like maybe prepare them just a little bit for the possibility of being disappointed if you're not going to go to the pool. But what you're also doing is teaching them the skills to prepare themselves for that and to think of something else, to pivot. It's a resiliency that you can teach them even in something small like that.

Oh, and one other thing. One other thing is friends, friends, remember that you do not have to make as a grownup. You do not have to make all of your summer pool friends right away. Now this goes for your kids if you have them and it goes for you. Say hello. Say, I've seen you here a few times. I'm Kendra. I want to make a dad Joe.

It can be like, except don't say Kendra because your name's not Kendra. But like, introduce yourself as many times to someone as you'd like. even saying hello and making eye contact with people in passing for three or four weeks, it makes that one time that you and this other person that you've like smiled that pleasantly, that one time that you're throwing diving sticks into the three feet area for the little toddlers, it kind of like gives you a more pleasant connection. It's like, your name's Kathy, right? Or what's your name again?

I've seen you around. You know, like it just, it eases that process. Just last week, I saw, I was sitting in a chair reading at the pool because it's June. I don't get in yet. Are you kidding me? I saw a woman that I met last year right at the end of the summer, right at the end, who I really liked. Like we chatted for a while and it was lovely talking to her.

But I could not remember her name or her kids' names or really anything about her. I just remembered we had met and I enjoyed her company. So she was in the pool and I put my book down right away and I went up to the edge of the pool. And I was like, hi, I don't know if you remember me, but we met last summer. she did remember me we reintroduced ourselves and then i sat back down and now we have a baseline set and we will chat again the next time we're both there now i know i want to say something to my introverts i know that the introvert energy is real and believe it or not i actually am i'm an ambivort i'm both but like i understand the nerves of talking to someone that you don't know like it's very

nerve-wracking. It's scary to introduce yourself to someone. We all feel like 15-year-olds on the inside when it comes to making friends, right? But remember, you don't have to make your friends all at once and you don't have to like hit a certain level of friendship in the first conversation. Friendships don't work like that anyway. Some of them might not even be that deep even, but it's nice to know a few names at your pool or wherever you are. Also, keep an eye out for people, people who don't seem like they have any friends. Introduce yourself to them, help them feel welcome. Just say hi.

It's like our, oh, it's like our beloved Shannon Martin. She will teach us this in her next book that does not come out until October, but I'm so excited about you guys reading it. It's called Start With Hello. That's the title of her book. Start with Hello. In other words, start small. Just say hello.

It's where we all begin and it all counts. And that's had a lazy genius a summer at the pool. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. Now, let me tell you real quick how I choose these. So team members on TeamLG, they will see good ideas and emails and Facebook and stuff, and they will put them in a document for me to look through when it's time to choose. But I will also screenshot Instagram DMs that are great ideas. When it's time to choose a lazy genius of the week, I just go to my photo app and I pick

the earliest one, the earliest screenshot. And it is crazy how often they line. up with the topic that happened last week and it is also happening today today's lazy genius of the week is katherine couchman who shared her tip on swimsuits how weirdly appropriate so here's what katherine says hello congrats on the book launch thank you katherine i wanted to share my lazy genius decide once as we approach summer in case it would help anyone else out there a friend and i both only buy swimsuits in a specific color. Hers is navy, mine is black. That way, I can always mix and match pieces when one piece needs to be replaced, and I don't have to go and buy a whole new set,

looking at you, swim bottoms who faded into see-through. It also keeps me from getting overwhelmed by all the options every year. I just narrow it down to it has to go with black. Like I said, my BFF does the same, but all her pieces are navy. Just thought I'd share, we get closer to swimsuit season. Thank you for this idea, Catherine. I think this is such a great idea, especially if choosing and thinking about swimsuits is stressful for you. Just decide once. It's like my color base is this. It's like choosing a Monday uniform or that you always get takeout on Thursdays, you know, just make the decision and keep making it until it doesn't work anymore. There might be a time that Catherine will change her approach, but it's working for her now.

So she's keeping it and she's reaping the benefits of limiting her decision-making stress. This is great, Catherine. Thank you for sharing. And thank you for being the lazy genius of the week. Okay, everybody, that is it for today. Don't forget that the summer docket is still available. It will be all summer. But if you're a couple weeks in and you're feeling a little frazzled with how things are going,

or maybe like the season is getting away from you, check out the summer docket. It's available in the lazy genius store at the lazy genius collective.com slash store. Thank you for listening, everybody. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus

life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.