The Lazy Genius Podcast - #270 - A 2022 Midsummer Pep Talk

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

Let’s do a quick little midsummer pep talk for the year of 2022 that just keeps outdoing its big brothers, 2020 and 2021. There are so many things that can impact our day, and right now, it feels like the intensity of the sensory input is extra sharp and edgy. Summer by itself often gives us reason to see things differently.   Helpful Companion Links Episode 219: A Midsummer Pep Talk Episode 230: How to Feel like a Person with Aundi Kolber Details about the Farmer’s Curb Market in Greensboro, where I will be on July 16 from 10-12! Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every Olympic dream starts somewhere. At first, it's just potential. But over time, with the right support and a few breakthroughs, it becomes something more. Make RBC Training Ground your breakthrough moment. Start your journey to Team Canada today at rbc trainingground.ca. Hi there. You are listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter

and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 270, a... 2020 midsummer pep talk. Now before I jump in, I just want to say real quick, I'm working on this episode, writing it while I am sitting at my local library and there is a guy reading a book across from me and he keeps smiling and laughing at what he's reading. And y'all, I'm not sure there's much I love more than seeing someone enjoy their reading. It's just bringing me a lot of joy right now as I work on this episode and I wanted to tell you about it. Okay, so that's it. rabbit trail over on that. I want us to do a quick little midsummer pep talk for the year of

2022 that just keeps out doing its big brothers 2020 and 2021. Tell you what. So personally, I have been feeling it lately. I have been feeling a little bit of everything almost all the time. And some days, that little bit grows into a lot. I don't know what will bother me or what will make me happy. I don't know what I'll notice or care about or have the motivation to do. I don't know how my kids will wake up or what my husband might need. I don't know how I will respond when I discover that half of the container of strawberries that we just bought is moldy. I don't know who will send me a confrontational DM that sucks all my energy dry. What will happen in the world or how or when I will learn of that news. I don't know who's going to call, who's going to need me. If the sniffles that we're feeling are

actually COVID, if my hormones are going to put me on a different path than I expected on a specific day. I don't know if the electricity will go out because of one bolt of lightning during a short summer storm, which you guys, listen, I wrote as an example when I was working on this episode and then the actual next day before I'm recording this episode, like last night, several hours ago, our power went out because of a lightning strike from a summer storm. guys let me tell you that sleeping with the windows open in a southern summer it is quite an experience one that i do not want to repeat anytime soon but also the irony that that example that i wrote did in fact happen again because it happened to us a few weeks ago and then it happened again

hours ago so what are you going to do there are just so many things so many things that can impact our day and right now it feels like the intensity of the sensory input that we're all getting is either like it's extra sharp and edgy, like everything feels heightened, or if everything doesn't feel heightened, it just swings the opposite way and everything just sort of feels really dull, like we're just kind of walking through mist and muck, you know? Even joyful moments can do that, can swing one way or the other. They're either like extra sharp and precious and we're like, hold on to it. We don't get very many of these. or it's really hazy.

It's just really hard to exist right now, you guys. It is. At least it is for me. Summer by itself, like on its own, it already can give us a reason to see things differently, to see our lives differently. Life shifts enough for people, even if you don't have like a break from your job during the summer or you don't have kids and you don't need to care for them in the summer or whatever, you still feel the effects of summer. Like even when our lives look more or less the same in

the summer as they do in other seasons, summer still feels different. And then if your life does change significantly in the summer because of a job or kids or whatever, it's like, whoa, not to mention the humidity and the constant shaving of body parts, if you choose to do that, it's just like a lot of things to manage. I also think it's kind of strange because even though there's a lot that is taken away in the summer, depending on your life stage. It also feels like there's so much extra, you know? We're chill, hanging out, but we're also navigating this unique season. We're dressing differently and cooking differently and working differently and just living differently. That aspect of summer, right? That personality of summer, it's really lovely. And we

like that it's different and kind of free and spontaneous, but that also makes it harder to manage. It is more chill, but it is also way less predictable. And, and, not that we have to say this again, even though I'm about to, but we are still trying to figure out how to be people in this COVID world. There's going to be COVID for a long time. And even though it's less dire than it was a year or two ago, we're still trying to figure out how to exist in that, right? And then there's like airplanes. And the price of food, it's like so many things. And then finally, I'm sure this is true no matter where you live, but if you live in America, there are like, there are so many things that are causing chaos in your own thinking,

in your communities, in your news feed, in how you exist on the internet and in your home, there is just so much. And we are not meant to manage this much input. Now, I think we're kind of, I've tried to been, I've been trying to imagine this as like we're rocks. We are rocks that are slowly being reshaped by crashing waves. It takes a long time for those rocks to take their shape, right? But we feel the waves. We feel them each time.

They don't cause a huge change with each wave, but we feel a huge wave. So we feel the waves and we are changing often for the better, you know? I think in this community, we're learning to be kinder to ourselves and to our people. we're gentler with our plans, you know, we're holding things more loosely. We're learning to do hard things like change our social patterns and have conversations with people we disagree with and still be kind. We're going to therapy. We're learning to be more emotionally intelligent.

We're thinking more critically about our news sources. We're not as hard on ourselves when we eat grilled cheese for dinner three days in a row because we know what matters most, right? we are we really are becoming more thoughtful and less flippant i see that in this community but y'all all of that takes work it takes work and it's really slow often grueling work if you've ever gone to therapy you know it sucks it sucks so bad because it's so slow and sometimes it doesn't feel like it really matters you're just getting hit with waves and you're not seeing any difference but also Once you're in it, you do know it's a gift. You know it's helpful, even though it's slow. So the irony is that we are overwhelmed, in part, because things are coming at us so quickly and continue to.

But the way to navigate it is not quick at all. It is often small, but even those small movements, they take exceptional effort, especially with all that's happening around us in this season. Okay. So I just want us all to remember that there is a lot to manage and to think about. There are a lot of things on our plates, even in the seemingly slower summer. There are people around us who are going through a similar situation of feeling everything more sharply or feeling extremely detached and dull about things sometimes in the same day. We are all shifting in various ways. and it is very, very hard to be a person right now. I know all of this has recently been said a lot.

And also this isn't very pep talkies. This isn't very positive, which I'm suddenly realizing. But I just want you to name and be kind to yourself about the thing that we say often, that this life doesn't usually feel very easy. Even when we put help and tools in place, life is hard. And it feels like it's just getting harder. I do not ever remember having this many tough conversations, being this discouraged by current events, being this jaded about the direction of humanity, being so thirsty for real connection, whether

in my own life or just observing it in other people. I am moved to tears by Stanley Tucci's description of tomatoes for crying out loud. Have you all read or listened to his memoir taste? I'm listening to it right now. It has been like water in the desert. And I think part of it is it feels so simple. These words he has about how to cook sauce and Sunday dinners and simple connections and gardens and around the table. I also think this is why I'm so drawn to Wendell Berry, even though all of my book words generally do not have anything remotely resembling Wendell Berry at all. I want things to be simpler. I feel this pull for fewer things, fewer possessions, fewer needs, fewer obligations,

fewer relationships even, so that I can spend time on the ones I do have in a more intentional way, fewer screens, fewer patches of yard that are not used to grow food, fewer gadgets, fewer hours on the internet. I crave that simplicity and I emotionally respond to it when I see it. But most of our lives don't look like that, nor is that even the answer. My job is on the internet. I'm going to be on the internet. I also do not like getting dirt under my fingernails, nor do I like bugs. So gardening is not my thing. Like decidedly it is not my thing. I love when my kids have screen time because they love it. And also, it's one of the times that I get to read where I'm not constantly interrupted. I love my friendships. And I wouldn't want to sacrifice any of

even though my time feels thin. Y'all, I have been migrating the same list of six names of people in my life from week to week in my planner for weeks, months even, six people that I want to get coffee or breakfast or lunch or something with, and I still haven't. But I keep moving the names to the next week because being with those people matters. So much matters. But we have to be intentional. about what we allow to matter all at once. We'll be right back. Want to go electric without sacrificing fun? That's the Volkswagen ID4.

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work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality. of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. I feel like I'm rambling a bit, but I think the middle of summer, especially in 2022, in a couple of weeks where we have seen some major things like important hard-fought gun legislation pass. We have seen Roe overturned, which has added a lot of complication to a lot of our lives. We've seen Jalen Walker being shot 60 times by police officers in Akron, Ohio? So many other things. This is the time that we need to be reminded that we cannot do it all. We can't even care about it all at the same time. We can't.

We can't play a game with our kid and figure out what's for dinner and do our jobs and figure out when we're going to clean the bathroom and hang out with that friend and volunteer with the organization that we love and make those calls and watch stranger things and and fix that broken door and pay the bills and figure out how to not rage all the time. We just can't do it all. And even the triage of all the things is taking more out of us than we have the capacity for. So I want to remind you of a few things, give you a little bit encouragement as we finish this episode.

First, be kind to yourself. It feels like a lot because it is a lot. and it's a lot for everybody. We're rubbing up against each other's anxieties and fears and joys all the time and more acutely than normal because of what's happening in our world and because of this weird summer season we're in. And that kind of adds to that feeling of everything being extra sharp or extra dull. You either turn it all up or turn it all off.

So be kind to yourself in that. Second, find things. that bring you joy, that make you laugh, and that help you breathe. Notice those moments of joy that will otherwise get lost really quickly. The clouds in the sky that feel just like a little bit magical. The bright yellow sun hat you love wearing. The flowers at the farmer's market. Tomato sandwiches.

Kids playing in sprinklers and laughing. Reading a book by the water. Notice the things that bring you joy. Also seek out things that make you laugh. You can listen to the audiobook, Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson. Hilarious and amazing. You can watch Middle Ditch and Shorts on Netflix. Tickle your kid and listen to that magical sound that they make.

Go out for drinks with friends and share your most embarrassing moments to guarantee a laugh. We need to laugh. And find things that help you breathe. I remember in an episode that y'all love with Andy Colber. She encouraged us to center ourselves by going outside and touching a rock. And I gave her such a hard time about that because I'm tired of people telling me to touch grass and rocks and look at the sky. And yet those things help. I mean, I just told you to be joyful about clouds, you know?

Those choices, they help us breathe in and out through your nose deeply. Also, change your breath, make it faster, walk, run, do body pump, whatever. So find and notice things that bring you joy, that make you laugh, and that help you breathe. Third, maybe summer is the season to name what matters one day at a time, even one morning or afternoon at a time. Our desire is to name what matters in big sweeping ways, but summer does not have a lot of big sweeping energy. Too many things are unpredictable. So try naming what matters one day at a time, intentionally. Some days you might need to turn off the news or the internet or the input for a few hours because that's what you need today.

You didn't know that's what you needed today, but now that you know, pivot and make it matter. You don't have to like swear off Instagram for the next six months. Do it today. Or decide that for the next month, you're going to release your hold on what matters that day until you're in it. You're not even going to think about like, what are we going to do? This might not work for everybody. Obviously nothing does. But you might be gripping so hard on what's coming down the road that you're missing today. So it could be that you're going to commit for a little while that at each meal, maybe, you take a deep breath and then you ask, what matters until the next meal? Start small. Help yourself triage all those things that are

coming into your life by letting the specific necessary things go for a specific amount of time. You can't care about it all at once. And then finally, please let yourself experience your life the way that you need to. If someone else is having fun and laughing when you're in the pit of despair, neither of you are wrong. If someone else values different experiences than you do and chooses to spend money on those things and you don't or can't, neither of you are wrong. We can all choose for ourselves. And we don't have to judge or assess. That just adds to the input. That just adds to the triage. So let's all just exist as we need to, when we need to, and have gentleness for ourselves and each other in that. And then as a quick little bonus reminder, see if there's a little

spot in your home or your schedule even, that if you tidy it just a little bit, either literally or figuratively, it would cause you a pretty significant amount of peace. Summertime has a lot of entropy to it. So maybe there's just a little area that needs some attention. It's lacked attention. Give it a little. And you'll have more peace of mind and space to be a person. That's just a little practical reminder for you.

Not the whole house. Now, don't do the whole house. No big black trash bag energy. Just one little area, one little area. And next week, we're going to talk. talk about how to fix summer dinner because that's a thing, right? I hope something in these words has helped you feel a little bit better, even about where you are in this exact moment listening. I know I say this all the time and it can feel a little silly because it's like

also the name of a nail polish color, but I still mean it every time I say it. You're doing great. Now before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week, it's Julie Height, sent me this message on Instagram, which any of you can do. I love to get your lazy genius ideas and tips. Here's what Julie says. Hi, Kendra. I wanted to share a lazy genius tip. I have four little girls ages two to nine. When the youngest three are in the bath, I clean the bathroom. Sometimes I can only do a quick wipe down. Other times I can deep clean. I can even get to the baseboards. The girls are safe and having fun and their bathroom stays clean consistently for the first time ever. My go-to products are Clorox wipes and disposable toilable cleaners.

Since I'm already in the bathroom and I have to be there for at least 15 minutes anyway, I have way more motivation to clean. All the best, Julie. Julie, this is so good. And I'm guessing that those go-to products you mentioned are already waiting for you in the bathroom whenever you're ready to clean. I love that the amount of cleanliness is not the goal here, but just starting small and doing whatever you're doing is, right?

you've decided once that you'll clean the bathroom during bath time you're batching tasks that happen in the bathroom bath time with your girls and cleaning the actual room you're starting small with whatever you can get done you've also put everything in its place namely the supplies that you need I just love how simple this is but also how it seems to have given you motivation and interest to do something that matters in a way that doesn't feel as much like a chore just feels more doable So this is so good. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. Okay, y'all, that is it for today. Thank you so much for being here, for listening, for buying my books, for listening to this podcast and sharing it with your people, for leaving reviews, for telling your friends. All of those choices you make, as small as they might seem to you, are enormous for me. And I am deeply grateful for them.

Also, if you are local to Greensboro, I have a little bit of information for you. I'm going to be. be at the Greensboro Curb Market this Saturday, July 16th from 10 to 12, like in the morning. We're going to do a Q&A. My local indie Scuppernaug books will be there selling copies of the Lazy Genius Kitchen and I will take a photo or sign your book or whatever you'd like. And it's the farmer's market so you can shop at the farmer's market and then obviously it's very much free. I would love for you to come out. So again, that is Saturday, July 16th, from 10 to 12 at the Greensboro curb market on Yanceyville Street, not the big farmers market off the highway, the smaller one across the street from the old baseball stadium.

Okay, I hope you're able to come. Thank you guys for listening, and until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. You ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life, because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change. It's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.