The Lazy Genius Podcast - #272 The Complete Guide to Seasonal Ceremonies

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

I haven’t talked about opening and closing ceremonies (or what I now have shortened and broadened to seasonal ceremonies) in a while. Even though a lot of you are familiar with them, we haven’t done a full-on episode about them before if you can believe it! Plus, I love this idea of a new name that will broaden our definition a little.   Helpful Companion Links Episode #119: Plan Your Opening Ceremony Episode #187: Rethinking Opening Ceremonies Episode #159: The Magic of Closing Ceremonies Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Plus, I love this idea of a new name that will broaden our definition a little. So let's jump into the complete guide to seasonal ceremonies. We're going to talk about what they are while we love them, when to use them, and how to come up with what you'll do. Now let's start with what they are. A seasonal ceremony is something that marks a significant moment of transition, likely a beginning or an end. Think about the Olympics. There is an opening ceremony to mark the beginning of the games, right? it's on purpose, it's meaningful, and it's something we all look forward to. The closing ceremony for

the Olympics, it looks back, it marks the end, and it gives us a sense of joy in this thing that we have spent time loving. You can do the same thing in your own life. So a seasonal ceremony is simply an intentional marker at the start or end of a season. And chances are it's something you'll want to repeat. That is a significant difference in seasonal ceremonies versus celebrations. You can mark the moment of getting that job or making it through that season of a hard medical diagnosis or of selling your house, but those things aren't likely to be repeated anytime soon. You mark them, but you mark them a little differently. Seasonal ceremonies are likely to be repeated. It's something you do again and again each year that kind of tells you, you know, we are at the beginning or we have

come to the end. So that's what they are. Now here's why we love them. Gustav Mahler, a 19th century composer, he said, tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire. Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire. Seasonal ceremonies could easily become a tradition for you. And traditional ceremonies could easily become a tradition for you. and traditions are beautiful things. We want to remember and preserve moments and seasons year after year. It's preserving something that matters. It's why we watch movies like Dan in Real Life,

which is such a great movie. Holy moly. That family, it gets together in the same house. They do that crossword puzzle race. They make certain foods. They have a family talent show. We are drawn to that kind of thing. When we see other people experiencing a tradition, something cracks open in us.

We are so hungry for that feeling, for those grooves, right, that grow deeper and deeper in our lives, that are repeated that we can go back to. Seasonal ceremonies can be a potential groove. They can be a tradition for you and your people. So that is for sure a reason to love them. And not only that, aside from, you know, that bigger picture, seasonal ceremonies are where we pay attention to exactly where we are. When we sit in that groove and look around, we're able to be present and grateful and connected. We usher in the holiday season. We say goodbye to

another summer. We mark the start of a new sports season. We open or close any season we are in because lazy geniuses live in the season. And we can slowly build those muscles of paying attention on purpose in a traditional seasonal way. Now, when should you use one? When should you try a seasonal ceremony? My first question would actually be, what do you already do? The chances are pretty good that you already have some kind of seasonal ceremony in your life.

You might eat the same dinner on the last day of school. maybe you have a birthday tradition you do for yourself every year. Maybe it's not really Christmas time until the weekend when you get together with your siblings or your friends and you bake your family's cookie recipe. What do you already do? That's an excellent place to start with what you're already doing. Because so often we think we're starting from scratch, right? We hear an idea, we resonate with, and we don't look around long enough to see that we're

already doing the thing. We just haven't named it or identified it as something that fits within this category of an idea we want to do. And if we don't identify what we're already doing, we think we're behind when we're actually not. So be sure you name what seasonal ceremonies you already do. That's a really fun, encouraging exercise. Now, if you are starting from a new place, from seasonal scratch, if you will, what's the next season you'd like to mark when it opens or when it closes? We're coming up on the end of a calendar season now, summer for folks in the Western Hemisphere, which most of you are in. Would you like to have a seasonal ceremony to mark the end of summer?

Does that matter to you? Because it doesn't have to. that is a huge, dare I say, singularly important part of deciding. Does it matter? Does marking the season matter? You don't have to mark everything. Only mark what matters. So when you're trying to decide where you should have a seasonal ceremony, look at what

you're already doing. And then on what you'd like to do based on what matters to you, especially as you see whatever your next seasonal transition is. For example, the end of summer. So you could decide right now if you wanted to close summer, begin school, begin the fall, close summer book club season or summer reading season, whatever you want to do. Just choose what matters to you.

We'll be right back. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Next and possibly the most fun, but potentially the most overwhelming, how do you decide what happens during your seasonal ceremony?

What do you actually do? The temptation is to do everything, right? It's to do everything. It's like make it big, make it special, include every idea, figure out every possible thing and do them all. Our imaginations have a lot more stamina and resources than our actual lives do. So we're going to start small instead. You have named the season you want to mark.

How do you want to feel when you mark it? What word would you like to describe the feeling or the result? of that seasonal ceremony. Do you want it to be reflective, fun, active, thoughtful? What's the adjective you would choose? Then you can ask yourself what one activity or choice

best embodies that feeling. If five of you listening wanted to experience fun in your seasonal ceremony, all five of you would probably have different definitions of what fun is, right? So rather than start with what you would do in your seasonal ceremony, I want you to start with what you want to experience. What do you want to feel? Because what you do will come out of that, not the other way around.

Another way you could put some words to your seasonal ceremony is to look at one that already exists and see if you can extrapolate what makes that ceremony matter. And for the record, when I say ceremony, I'm not talking about. formality or medals or a presentation. I mean, it can be. But really, it's just a word that encompasses any intentional choice. That's it. It can be incredibly, incredibly small. So look at another intentional choice in a different seasonal ceremony. Why does that work? Why does it work for you? one of our family seasonal ceremonies and my personal favorite of the year is our welcoming of the Christmas season of the month of December really the first weekend in December in my city is when all the fun Christmas things happen there's a downtown festival on Friday night there is a

holiday parade on Saturday morning then after that we come home and we decorate our Christmas tree that afternoon and then there is a park that is filled with luminaries that Saturday night So we just do those things. And it is the best. It's the beginning of our Christmas season and we love it. Now, part of the reason we love it is because of how long it is. It's like a whole weekend. So it feels like one giant party, which is kind of what December, I want December to feel like. Not one giant like stress train. But one of the reasons I personally love it is because of how much it's rooted in my city. I was born in Greensboro and other than three semesters at a college one town over, I have never left. I just adore the city.

It is in my blood and I cannot imagine that we would ever move. And my husband is the same way. He was not born here. He was born in Japan, but he moved here when he was two. So this is home. This is home. I have roots here. He has roots here.

We have so many memories. And I value the identity of my city of what it wants to. be. So there's something really special to me personally about having a seasonal ceremony that is rooted in the city. There are other seasonal ceremonies that we do that are not, you know, they are not rooted in the city. But because the holidays to me, they are about my faith for sure, but they're also about connection and family and roots. So having my holiday seasonal ceremony connected to my home and my city on a larger scale, it really matters to me. That has a lot of meaning. So look at what you're already doing. Why does it matter? Why do you love it? What component

makes you or your people so happy and cared for or whatever the adjective might be? Seeing what's already working somewhere else is probably going to be a helpful exercise to you. But if you are starting from zero and you really don't know what to do. I have three thoughts for you and all three of them are lazy genius principles. Number one, start small. Please do not build this ceremony to be like the opening ceremonies at the Summer Olympics in Japan. It does not need to be detailed and massive. It doesn't. Start with one thing. And then you can do that thing plus another thing next year if you do it again. please start small. Two, be kind to yourself and how you speak about creating this seasonal ceremony. I hear a lot of you say things like, I never have any good ideas or I'm just not creative or anything I think of sounds ridiculous.

I disagree. Big time. I don't know you, but I disagree. You are likely bumping up against some sort of expectation of how you think something should look. And it's making who you are and what you are in fact good at pale in comparison. So please be kind to yourself. tell yourself the truth. You can think for a few minutes about what you could do to mark the end of the summer and you can come up with an idea. We just make it so complicated and we don't give ourselves a chance to come up with one simple idea. Like you could mark the end of the summer by going to your favorite ice cream shop and everybody gets double cones and you sit outside and you eat your ice cream and everybody shares like their favorite thing from the past summer. Done. And here's what's wild.

If you imagine that, like, isn't that a lovely picture? You're sitting outside with ice cream and your family or your friends and you're just talking and sharing. But somehow we think we have to have like seven certifications and entertaining and creativity to come up with an idea like that. You don't. You don't. Just think about it for a minute. You're going to come up with something that sounds fun or reflective or whatever else you might want it to be. So please, please, please be kind to yourself.

And three, live in the season. Remember as you're planning your seasonal ceremony that not every component will work as you go through different seasons of life. And that's okay. So hold the details loosely because a lot of them might not make as much sense or feel as necessary down the road. So live in the season of living within the framework, but changing the details and the expectations. depending on where you are in life. So start small, be kind to yourself and live in the season as you exist in this like thinking, building, creative space. So many of your own details, they will be specific to you because of who you are and what you're choosing to mark. But we are

also often very inspired by other people's ideas. So this week on Instagram at The Lazy Genius, I will share a post where all of you can share your favorite seasonal sales. ceremonies to get some ideas flowing. So to recap, a seasonal ceremony is simply an intentional marker of something that you're opening and welcoming or closing and saying goodbye to. And they're usually easily repeated the next season. They are a lovely thing to pursue slowly and kindly because of how much we long for tradition and those connective grooves in our lives and in our relationships. they likely matter to you in some way. So use one when you'd like to mark a season

and pay attention to places that this is already happening. It's very simple and personal this idea, but it's incredibly powerful. So look at your own life where it exists and see if there's one that you would like to add. Also check out Instagram this week where we will share like ideas that we all love. And you can maybe get an idea from there. Don't overthink it. Don't overcomplicate it. Don't over manufacture it.

Just look at the next season that you'd like to mark. Choose what you want to feel and name some kind of activity or choice that can lead you to that feeling. And then do it again next year. Like that's it. Make those grooves. It's really simple and really powerful. And that's your guide to seasonal ceremonies. Now before we go, as always, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week is Lisa Newton, who shared this in the Facebook group. We got our first visit of 2022 from the ice cream truck this afternoon. My apologies to those of you who are in freezing weather right now. This message, by the way, was shared in March for reference, everyone. Some of you were indeed freezing in March. Normally my kids, ages three and six, go nuts at the first sound

of the music coming down the street. But today they have happened to be away at grandmas. And I had a moment of clarity without them and realized I need to lazy genius the ice cream truck. So I have set aside an envelope and I'm going to drop any spare chains or dollar bills I get into it. And that will be our ice cream truck fund. If we run out, sorry, no ice cream today. I will let my kids contribute from their piggy banks and chore earnings too. No more freaking out because I don't have any cash. Lisa, this is such a great idea. And I wanted to share this as the lazy genius of the week, not just because having a summer ice cream truck fund is a great idea, but because it's an example of lazy geniusing a problem in the

moment. Sometimes we have those little moments where we go, huh, I should really lazy genius this. It's not about analyzing every part of your life all at once. It's simply paying attention and making choices based on what matters. For Lisa, what matters is not big rules or systems around the ice cream truck. She just doesn't want to be caught without cash. So she's keeping cash and coins and will let that be the guide for how many ice cream truck visits she and her kids get. She's taking the stress and panic out of trying to decide if you're going to go. Plus, like, I need to find money at time. This is just such a great example of paying attention in the moment and making a simple choice that supports what matters.

Love it. Congratulations, Lisa, on being the lazy genius of the week. Okay, y'all, that's it for Today, thank you so much for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to becoming you wherever you get your podcasts.