The Lazy Genius Podcast - #29: The Lazy Genius Finds a Fall Rhythm

Episode Date: September 4, 2017

I'm back after my summer break (party emoji!) and easing into a fall rhythm. If you need one, too, this episode is all over it. We'll identify what parts of your life need a rhythm, how to find your reason for creating one, and five practical questions to get started. Show Notes The Lazy Genius Does Laundry 10 Ways to Beast Your Monday For When Systems Can't Save You Follow me on Instagram @thelazygenius. Every Thursday at 12:30pm we do an Instagram Live to talk about that week's episode, so come hang out! This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Presents, Laura versus Fruit Flies. Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen, these little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo. Chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, Fruit Flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. Hey guys, it's Kendra and you're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast.

Here, I'm going to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. It's been weeks since we've had an episode. I took a summer break from the podcast and the blog to just hang out with my family and be a person. You can hear more about that in the previous episode, episode 28, The Lazy Genius creates space. We are back and I am stoked. Okay, so it's September, which means, it's full on fall with school and schedules and pumpkin related activities on the horizon. Fall is generally the favorite season of most of us, mine too, because there are so many fun

things to look forward to. But here's the pitch for today's episode. Fall can get out of hand really quickly if you don't set a routine. Even if you're not a routine person, there's still value in a rhythm in a way of moving through a busier time of life. So today in the playbook, we're going to set a routine. We're going to do. find a rhythm. By the end of this episode, my friend, you will know what parts of your life need a rhythm, your specific purpose for having one, and five questions to help you create the nuts and bolts of a ball rhythm that works for you. Let's get started. First, okay, when we say rhythm or routine, what do we mean? It's easy to think we're all working with the same definition, but I assure you

that we are not to an Uber organized person, a spontaneous person's rhythm will look like straight up chaos, right? And then like an organized person's rhythm to someone who's more spontaneous is going to look like a prison. We're all different. So let's start from the same place, at least during this conversation. When I say rhythm, I mean something relatively predictable. It's a way of moving through a time of day throughout an entire week.

even engaging in a certain area of life repetitively. When I feel the need to create a rhythm in my life, I fall into the trap of including everything, like everything, what I eat, what I wear, when I wash dishes, when I go to the grocery store, when I hang out with my husband, what activities I do with my kids and when, I turn myself until a robot. And nobody got time for that, okay? Plus, we need a soul, y'all, we need a soul. So when we create a rhythm, don't be a robot.

robot. You get to decide what a rhythm looks like for you, what it includes, what you actually need. If you don't need it, don't do it. Okay. So now that we know what we mean by rhythm, just something repetitive in a certain area or day or time of life, let's talk about the why. There are three basic ways a rhythm is helpful. Number one, it helps you plan better. Number two, it automatically deals with the unexpected. And number three, it eliminates decision fatigue. Okay, so let's look at these three things individually. First, a rhythm helps you plan better.

Okay, when you wake up in the morning, you know what to do first, second, and third, right? When it's time to decide what's for dinner, you've already made the decision of what you're eating or you have prepped food waiting for you that you can kind of riff on when you need to make an appointment at the doctor. you've created a weekly rhythm where Wednesdays are your day for like outings and errands and appointments. Okay. So you can automatically choose Wednesday when the nurse asks you what day is good. Like you know the answer can be Wednesday.

Having a rhythm helps you plan better because you already have expectations and that rhythm in place. Okay. Second, it automatically helps you deal with the unexpected. If you've established a rhythm around doing laundry, okay, like we've talked about in another episode, one of the most popular, by the way, I'll link to it in the show notes. Then when your kid gets really sick and keeps you from doing your regular laundry day, you can adjust. You can know how to handle laundry.

You have a rhythm for it already, okay? You can do your laundry day the next day or just wait until the next week and it be more, but you know how to handle it because you already have a laundry rhythm. If something upsets that rhythm, you can recall. hover more quickly because you know how it goes. All right. So a rhythm helps us plan better. It automatically deals with the unexpected. And finally, and most importantly, I think, it eliminates decision fatigue. What is decision fatigue? Did you know, you guys, hold please, did you know that your brain can make a limited number of decisions every day? This is real. That is why when you get to

the end of the day and your husband asked you where the scissors are. You turn into the Incredible Hulk and you're like, oh my gosh, stop talking. I cannot answer another question. That's true. You can't. You can't. You're done. You've reached your limit for the day with the scissors question. That's why creating a rhythm and naturally eliminating some decisions, it leaves room for you to make others. This is why I love having a Monday uniform or the same thing every Monday. It eliminates a decision. It eliminates a decision at the start of the day. That's one decision saved for later on, right? So those are the three kind of general reasons why a rhythm is helpful. But you may have a deeper, more personal reason, and knowing that reason will help you find your rhythm and make it stick. The possibilities for

our reasons for doing this are as numerous as the number of people listening to this episode. But here are a few possibilities. You might need a rhythm because your brain just simply functions best with one, right? You need that. You need a routine. You need to know what's coming. You need to create a framework for like what matters to you, for your priorities without losing your way. It helps you stay kind of on task, right? Some people thrive within that. So if that's you, your sanity is recent enough to get started on a rhythm. Other people might not need a routine as strongly, but your family might. You might live with someone who thrives when he knows what's coming next,

what to expect when he wakes up or comes home or gets picked up from school or how you guys spend your weekends. If you live with someone who needs a rhythm, creating a loose one for yourself, even though you might not need it that much, will do wonders for the person that you're living with. Another reason, maybe, to create a rhythm, is because you simply have too many balls in the If you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, you know I don't want to be a good life juggler. I don't want that. I say no to most things so that I can say yes to what really matters.

But life doesn't always cooperate this way. You could be in a season of life where you simply have to become a juggler. I think that moms of older kids definitely fall into this category. When you live with three or four other humans who all, have that one thing that makes them come alive in addition to work or school that's eight major things to juggle at least that's a lot of things even the most balanced families who are good at saying though still have a lot of yeses to attend to so feeling like you're juggling it doesn't necessarily mean you're doing it wrong it just might mean this is a season of juggling and man oh man wouldn't a rhythm

be such a gift in those times so knowing your personal why the deep reason why you're creating a rhythm is essential and it's so very hopeful. Otherwise, you're just, you're just a robot creating a rhythm that's not going to last. So let's get to the nuts and bolts of this. How do you create a fall rhythm? We've got five steps to help. Ready? Number one.

Decide what needs a rhythm. Okay, you can't answer, my life. No, that's not allowed. That's too broad. Look at what causes you the most stress. Okay. What makes you, you know, kind of flounder? What has a higher priority in your life than you're currently giving it? You know, what do you want to have more priority? That thing needs a rhythm. It could be housekeeping, cooking, work deadlines, regularly serving your community. Did you hear me get

through that word regularly? That is such a hard word to say regularly. It could be like time alone, nurturing your relationships, you need to use not such broad strokes. You can't say my life. Get specific. It could be even a day of the week. There might just be a day of the week that eats your lunch every single week. Get specific and decide what area, what day, what relationship needs a rhythm. Okay. So decide what needs a rhythm. Number two, discover your bottom line goal. Now we sort of already talked about this, but this is a really important question to answer. What is your deeper emotional reason for wanting a rhythm? If you want to create a rhythm around making dinner, especially with fall schedules being so crazy, ask yourself, what is your deeper why?

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Why? Is it because you want less stress in the kitchen? It's just too stressful of a process. do you want to create an atmosphere around dinner that you're currently not getting? Are you hoping to teach your kids to cook to better equip them when they don't live with you anymore? What is your deeper why? Knowing your bottom line goal gives you so much clarity, you guys, in creating a rhythm and sticking to it. If you don't believe in why you're doing something, you just won't do it.

It's as simple as that. So number one, decide what needs a rhythm. Number two, discover your bottom line goal. And number three, try and add to what you're already doing. When we think about creating a rhythm or routine, sometimes we start from scratch. We think it's somehow easier to do that. It's not easier. If you want to be a genius about your routine, sure, like break the whole thing apart and start

over to create your perfect system. But we are lazy geniuses, right? And lazy geniuses don't create more work than they have to. You could already have the bones of a great rhythm in place. you just need to use them. Here's an example. Let's say you want to create a more regular rhythm and hanging out with a really close friend. But you're both already so busy, you know, that like a couple of months will go by before you see each other again.

You're like, how did that happen? But you both grocery shop at night. Okay. You already have a shopping rhythm and hers matches. So go together. Go shopping together. Yes. Walking the cereal aisle is not a small.

fun as sitting at a bakery on a Friday night, but Friday nights are hard to figure out. They just are. But regular grocery shopping is not because it's already in your rhythm. So look at your life, the rhythms you already have going. You might not even realize they're there. You might not even realize you've created one. But see if you can tack on something else to something you're already doing. Add to what you're already doing.

Number four, eliminate what doesn't matter. This is possibly becoming like my most obvious life mantra that I say pretty much in every episode and every post all the time. Stop doing what doesn't matter. Usually I'm talking about like bigger commitments and priorities, but but let's think smaller, right? You could be going through the motions of something that doesn't matter so much. Maybe you want to find a better rhythm in your life when it comes to reading, okay? We'll use that as an example.

You love books and stories and learning, but who has time to do it? You do. You just have to find it, okay? A great time to read could be when you're eating breakfast. But if you have unknowingly settled into a rhythm of deleting like Old Navy and LinkedIn emails while you eat, you're losing reading time. You can do the email thing less often because that doesn't really matter, right? That doesn't matter so much. and you can create more time to read while not necessarily adding something to your schedule.

You're already sitting and looking at something. Just switch out the emails that don't matter for the book that does. So eliminate what doesn't matter and you may find these pockets of time, these new rhythms in your life where you can insert what does matter. And finally, number five, don't overdo it. too many moving parts in your rhythm will cause it to immediately fail. We just said it's great to start with what you already have going. But that doesn't always work for everything.

If you're creating a brand new routine for laundry or moving your body or working in the new vegetable garden you have planted in your backyard, you need to start small. Keep it simple. Don't overdo it. You can add to the routine over time. Okay. So start with one thing until it.

gains a little bit of movement, a little momentum, until you do it kind of more or less without thinking. Once that happens, add another element. And I know that that might feel super annoying because you just want to like get going on the full thing. Or frankly, you think like you're grown up enough to stick with something more complicated. Like Kendra, I could do more than one thing. But this is me reminding you that it's really hard to do that. Yes, you can. But long term, it's really, really hard to do that. Being an adult, it doesn't mean you automatically make stuff happen without fighting it like a six-year-old.

I'm pretty sure I've done that today. So let's remind ourselves that being an adult is really about thinking smarter. And smarter in this case, it means less. Don't overdo it. Okay. So to recap, how do you find your fall rhythm? Decide what needs a rhythm. what part of your life needs a little bit of structure.

Next, figure out your bottom line reason of why, so you'll actually stick to it. Or bonus, you guys, you could discover that your reason isn't strong enough to actually do it. So you can just quit before you get started. I mean, that's pretty fly, too. Number three, try and add to what you're already doing. No reason to reinvent the wheel. Four, eliminate what doesn't matter. And five, don't overdo it.

start small move slowly keep it simple okay now as we wrap up you might be thinking that you want your whole life to be a rhythm right that it feels a little bit disappointing to just do the one thing and have everything else in chaos but my friend you cannot eliminate chaos believe me i've tried we can't do it we just can't do it but the easiest way to move away from it is to find a rhythm in one place, then you can more easily find a rhythm in the next place, and the next, and the next. This is why 90-year-old women who still mow their yards and drive to church and wear pearls and drink a glass of sherry after dinner every night, they seem so serene. They've had decades upon decades to find their rhythm, you guys.

It takes time. So don't not do it because it feels like you can never achieve everything. You're right. You can't all at once, but that shouldn't keep you from adding a little bit at a time. Before you know it, you'll have less chaos in your life and more rhythm around things that matter. Your future self will love you for starting small now so that you'll be saying later. It matters. It all matters. I'm saying that to myself because I struggle with this too. All right. If you have any thoughts about this, any questions, if you want to check out any of the things I mentioned in this episode, like the laundry episode or how to beast your Mondays.

Those things will be in the show notes at the lazy genius collective.com slash lazy slash rhythm. And oh my gosh, because rhythm is about the weirdest word ever. Let me spell it really fast. R-H-Y-T-H-M. There are no vowels. Like what is happening? It's the weirdest word.

But check out those show notes and you can use that link too to share the episode with friends if you want. I would love that. Okay, before we go, it's time for our lazy genius tip of the week. So this summer, our power went out like several times because of storms. And even though I like to think I'm super prepared with things, we still couldn't find all the flashlights when we needed them. It was kind of a joke.

Now, if you have an iPhone, right, you have like that flashlight function, which is awesome. But during one particular power outage in the summer, my husband turned on the phone flashlight and then he put like a bottle of water on top of the light. and it made a lantern. You guys, I married a wizard. It was crazy, but it works. So if you find yourself in the dark with only your phone, I know this is so niche, but it blew my mind.

If you find yourself in the dark with only your phone, but you don't want to direct spotlight aimed at the ceiling, you know, and that doesn't really give you good light, just put a glass of water or a clear water ball, a Gatorade bottle, anything, liquid on top. And it's magical. It creates a lantern. Like, I don't, it blew my mind, you guys.

I'm not super great at science, so anything like this, it's like a magic trick. Okay. And now just file that away for when you need a lantern. Like, it's so fun to pull that out of your pocket and look super cool. Okay, so that's it for this episode. Thank you for listening. And remember, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'll see you next time.

Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.