The Lazy Genius Podcast - #290 - Managing Your Holiday Home

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

There’s a decent chance that while you love the feeling of the holidays in your home, you’re also a little overwhelmed by it. There’s the regular upkeep of one’s home - the general cleaning and tidying, but there’s also a lot of extra stuff around the house this time of year. And because our tendency is to be fairly extreme in our response to challenges - either try hard or give up - we stay overwhelmed. Let’s create a small solution to the normal challenges of a holiday home so we can enjoy it while the holidays are here. Helpful Companion Links Check out my books The Lazy Genius Kitchen and The Lazy Genius Way Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, you are listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 290, managing your holiday home. There's a decent chance that while you love the feeling of the holidays in your home, you're also a little overwhelmed by it. There is the regular upkeep of one's home, the general cleaning and tidying. But there's also a lot of extra stuff around the house this time of year. There could be holiday decorations that take up a little more space, gifts that are out, gifts that are hidden, gift wrapping stuff, trays of cookies and extra food things, even winter clothes, like big coats and boots, depending on where you live, there's just likely a lot of extra stuff around. And because our tendency is to be fairly extreme in our response to challenges being we either try hard or we give up, if we respond that way, we stay overwork. We don't create a small solution to the normal challenges of a holiday home. And therefore, we do not effectively enjoy that home because we have not tended to whatever is overwhelming

us. So that's what we're going to do today. We're going to start small in managing our holiday home. I'm going to walk us through four of the 13 lazy genius principles laid out in my first book, The Lazy Genius Way, and apply those to our holiday homes. One of them is not start small, believe it or not, which is weird because that's what this episode is, but that's fine. So let us jump into the episode with our first principle, live in the season. We are starting with live in the season because that's why we're in the situation in the first place. This is a season of life and a season on the calendar. And the lazy genius way of looking at a season is to acknowledge what it's offering us and what

is teaching us. So this principle, it helps us avoid the tendency or the expectation to cram one season into the shape of another. For example, if you are busier this time of year, which most of us are, and if your home is slowly filling up with extra stuff, which it probably is, with those gifts and decorations and supplies for all your holiday traditions, you cannot approach your home the exact same way that you do in a slower season that naturally holds less stuff to do and less stuff to store, right? It's just a losing battle. So instead, live in the season. I want you to name what matters about this season and let that be your guide.

This is where it's really important to name what matters, but to name what matters most about a season. There are multiple things that can matter right now. And it's great to name them. It's great. That if you don't name what matters most, you will not feel the same kind of contentment and intentionality that you would if you had one singular focus. So, for example, here's some things that could matter for your holiday home. That it feels cozy, welcoming, festive, that it stays relatively tidy, that you're

not stepping over extra things to get to what you need. You know, maybe you don't want to see the wrapping stuff or maybe the pile of winter coats is like making you crazy. and you want that to stay tidy, you want everything to have a place. So name whatever matters. But from that list, you need to choose what matters most. What matters most. If you try and consistently hold, let's say, both tidiness and coziness as equal priorities over the next few weeks,

you're going to get frustrated. Maybe not all the time. but there will be times when you forget the season that you're in and you will make tidiness the main priority at the expense of Christmas coziness. Now is it okay to prioritize tidiness over coziness? Of course it is because everyone gets to decide what matters to them. But the likelihood is that you care more about the uniqueness of this season and its coziness and the gifts and the cookies and the whatever else, but you sometimes forget that or you have to fight against that priority because you're trying to make two different things matter at the same time. So for this season,

it's really important to name what matters most. That does not mean that other things can't matter. But when you come to a standstill, you need a priority to be the boss so that you can be content and intentional in your choices and in your attitude. Make sense? So that's the first principle to apply to your holiday home. Live in the season. It's probably going to be a touch. extra because that's just the nature of the season. Let the season inform what matters to you. The second principle is put everything in its place. This is one of the most important, if not the most important principle, when it comes to your home holiday or otherwise. We're often told that we just have too much stuff. And while that might be true for some of us, the likely problem is

that it's not that you have too much stuff. It's that you don't have a place for your stuff. I say this in the lazy genius way, but you don't have to become a minimalist, just put your stuff away. But you can't put it away if it doesn't have a place. And that is certainly true in your holiday home. If you are listening to this when it comes out, we have not quite hit December yet. We're almost there. So there's still plenty of time to name what needs a place and then find that place. So I want you to think now about the categories of stuff that could contribute to overwhelm

in your home. And one thing that's important to remember here is that the place it can be temporary. You know, you're not choosing places for things that have to exist there for eternity. Just for the next month while there's more stuff out, where will this thing go? Just name that temporary place for now. Other things might need a more permanent home, even after the holidays are over. Maybe the excess of, let's say, like bigger shoes, like winter boots, you know, because it's winter, has illuminated the fact that you don't have a good shoe storage place as it is,

let alone for when you add bulky boots to the mix. So yes, you need a place for your winter boots, but maybe you need a more permanent, helpful place for your shoes in general. I think that holiday home challenges, they could shine a light on areas in your life and home where something needs a place that hasn't quite found one yet. So look around your home at the areas where you're experiencing frustration and see if the problem could be solved by putting something in

It's place. And then you can name things that are about to enter your home, hidden unwrapped gifts, wrapped gifts, other holiday things that will need a place. Go ahead and determine what those are now so that you can manage your home a little better. And remember to do this through the lens of what matters to you. We'll be right back. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life.

whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw. A special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Our next principle is set house rules. House rules are meant to facilitate connection, not protection.

They're not to keep things under control in a self-preservation kind of way, but to name what matters and then put a guardrail in place to protect that thing, to protect what matters. For me and my home house rules, they really are just meant to keep me from being mean, basically. Like, I don't want to be mean to my kids or to cause about things that don't actually matter more than connection matters. But I also know myself, and I know what, I know what makes me annoyed. so rather than only combating that tendency of being annoyed by doing the emotional labor of being a good person in the moment in a frustrating circumstance, house rules, what they do is they help me

avoid that circumstance from happening in the first place. So for managing your holiday home, there are likely a couple of bigger categories of frustration that could use house rules. cleaning and tidying. Now, those are two different things, right? Tidying is just visually feeling like things are in order, and then cleaning is removing legitimate dirt. You can have a clean house that's untidy, and you can have a tidy house that is not clean.

Now, one thing that is for sure a problem in many homes that have multiple people living in them, holidays or not, is that different people have different definitions of what tidy is and what clean is. How many times have you experienced walking into a room that someone else says they tidied or cleaned and it is very much not what you would call tidy or clean? And that can go both ways. Like you might have a looser definition of clean than a partner or a kid does and you think they're being like a little cuckoo crazy cleaning this intensely when all you really expected

was for the trash to be off the floor. Like we all have different definitions of clean and tidy. And it's when those definitions go unspoken and are in conflict that everyone gets frustrated with each other. And for me personally, that's when I get mean. And I don't, I don't want to get pain. So enter house rules. A house rule could be super effective in helping preserve what matters in your home while also giving everyone a shared language and a shared expectation.

So a house rule in your holiday home, it could be unroll your inside out socks after you take them off. Now that's very small. We take our shoes off at the door and we store them by the door. And there are always so many socks around, so many socks. Now, listen, I don't mind the socks that much because we have like a little bucket in the kitchen of where dirty clothes in that area of the house go. And so it's just part of my tidying routine. Like, just grab the socks is fine. And I also am not bothered by them being.

inside out. But guess what? It's because I'm not the one who currently washes them. Now, if they bother cause, though, because COS is the one who does the laundry. Now, if they bother him, or if you're putting yourself in the situation, if they bother you enough, the inside out socks, that it makes you feel resentful or frustrated or it distracts you from connection with your people, then a house rule could be super helpful here. Somehow, house rules are not as naggy. as being like, fix your socks. It's a shared language. It is simply saying sweetly, indirectly, like the repeated phrase that is the house rule. Remember, turn your socks outside out. Like, it's not a constant surprise because it's a rule. It's just part of how you and your people

live each day. That house rule alone could help alleviate the frustration that you feel around the sock and shoe clutter by the door. It could be that your frustration when you look at the pile of shoes and socks is not so much about the pile. It's about the task that every inside out sock represents. So fix the socks and you might fix the frustration. But you don't have to be the one to fix the socks. You can make it a house rule and everybody fix their own socks. That's why I love house rules. Make them specific, clear, and kind. Yes, you will have to say them over and over and over again. But the point is not to not say them. The point is to make them available to everyone. You're not saying them as an enforcer of some like random thing just for today where you're

annoyed and being reactive. Instead, you're saying it as an agreed upon rule that is for everyone in the family. You're part of that too. And you're just a reminder. It just feels less gross that way. And I just think people don't respond to it in the same ways if you're being naggy. House rules aren't naggy. So look at your holiday home and notice if there are patterns or piles that cause you consistent

frustration. Maybe a house rule could help. Our final principle for your holiday home, build the right routine. Now, I love routines. And most of us have more than we realize. Like there are things that you do kind of in a certain order at the same general time every day. And if you don't do them, the day feels off. Right. Now, a beautiful goal of a lazy genius is to slowly, and I'm talking aggressively slowly, build a routine over time. If you try to. try and do it all at once or you make it like a big to-do list thing, I think it will just have a harder time sticking, and therefore it will not make an impact and you'll just be annoyed at yourself. Also, something that's really important about a lazy genius routine is that it's more

about the destination than the actual like path to get there. It's more about where the routine is taking you. So a morning routine, it helps you ease into the productivity of the day. And after work routine is to help you transition from one mode to another in a kind way. And afternoon routine for your kids is to help them transition from one mode to another in a kind way. The pieces and parts of that routine, they're important, sure. But if you think of the routine as an on-ramp or an off-ramp to a particular feeling or experience or intention, the pieces and parts hold less power.

and therefore aren't as actively required. You can skip parts and not lose the power of the routine. And isn't that the frustrating thing about the routine is we think if we skip a part, then it's toast. That's not correct. So how does that work for managing your home? How can building the right routines help? There could be a seasonal challenge that you're facing consistently.

Let's just say it's cleaning because we're talking. talking about our home. Now, you have already named what clean means to you. Maybe even what rooms need to be cleaned at all. You know, some can wait until later. But let's say that the seasonal challenge is keeping, you know, like the living room clean, not just tidy, but clean, during a busier season where you don't have nearly as much time as you used to. Maybe the day that you usually clean when it's not the holidays is like a Saturday morning, but your weekends are full now. They're full of shopping and travel and gathering. Now, instead of just giving up on something that matters to you, like cleaning your home

or cleaning your living room, if that matters, you can add one cleaning task to an existing routine so that you can deal with the seasonal challenge for now. So, for example, you could vacuum the living room while you wait for your morning coffee instead of just standing next to the coffee maker, right? Like you're already doing your morning routine. Even if you don't call it that, you're already making the coffee and you always will. So what is something that you could do for now within that existing routine that can help with a seasonal challenge like cleaning during off times, you know, vacuum during your coffee?

Or another room, have a container of chlorox wipes in your bathroom and wipe down your sink in your toilet while you're waiting for your shower to warm up, you know? maybe outside of the holiday season, you just clean your bathroom on a Saturday and call it good, but your Saturdays don't function the same way right now. Add something to an existing routine that can help. Make sense? So, to recap, as you manage your holiday home, I want you to remember these four principles specifically.

Live in the season. This is a season of different schedules and commitments and likely a season of extra stuff being around your home, live in the season of extra, and also name what matters most as you live in that. So that's the first principle. Second, put everything in its place. Maybe there are things that temporarily need a place during the season, so go ahead and decide those. Or maybe an extra holiday season is showing you places where your regular life things don't currently have a good place. So find one and start putting your stuff there. Third principle, set house rules. If there are situations, where you're consistently frustrated. See if a specific, clear, kind house rule can keep the mean

person dominoes from falling down. And fourth, build the right routine. If you have something that's hard to fit into your holiday schedule, take the most important element or elements of it and add it to an existing routine to help alleviate the overwhelm. And that is how to manage your holiday home. I hope the reminder of these principles helps. All right, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week, it's Shannon McGowan Ralph. Shannon writes this. Here's my lazy genius tip. It's so small. I feel like it's not even worth mentioning. Okay, I'm going to stop right there. This is the theme of these lazy genius of the week tips. Brianna said the same thing last week. You probably already do this. Or it's so small, it doesn't really matter. Pals, listen to me. The small stuff really, really.

matters. In fact, it's the small stuff that actually makes our lives consistently better and easier and more like us and able to pivot and manage expectations than any big thing can. Share your small stuff. Please, it all matters. Okay, back to Shannon. I use the magic question principle. What can I do now to make something easier later? Mornings are rough, just like every other family. We have to get out the door to school without anybody shouting. We have to make sure we have everything we need. There's breakfast. lunches, snacks, etc. One thing that sends me over the edge during the busy morning is my dog pawing at his dish for food. The noise and the inconvenience of me stopping what I'm doing to take care of that drives me bananas. And I can't ask my kids for help because if they get distracted for one second

while trying to get ready for school, it's all downhill. One night as I was cleaning up the kitchen, I realized that I could just fill his dog dish right then and leave it up on the counter. then the next morning I just put the dish on the ground. I don't have to stop what I'm doing in the morning or listen to that noise. It's so simple. I can't believe I never thought of it before. I could not be more obsessed with this. I couldn't.

You guys, this is what it means to be a lazy genius. Do the smallest thing that seems so ridiculous. But that solves a tiny problem well. Shannon was not trying to solve. How can I make my entire morning easier? Because that is too big. The problem was the sound of her dog pawing at his bowl. And the solution is so small and doable and it eliminates a ton of frustration.

This is what I want you to keep doing, y'all. Pay attention. Name what tiny, tiny thing is driving you crazy and then apply a lazy genius principle to solve it. It is ridiculous how helpful those tiny choices can be when you do them consistently. And then as you find one small solution at a time for whatever challenges you have, in your season of life, you're just going to find a lot more peace in your life than you'd ever experience from trying to build it big and solve everything at once. Start small. I love this so much, Shannon. Thank you for sharing it. And congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week.

All right, y'all, that's it for today. Thanks so much for listening. Until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. You ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.