The Lazy Genius Podcast - #292 - How to Enjoy the Last Two Weeks of the Year

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

We have done so much work these last few weeks of figuring out how to manage our expectations and our holiday home and our time and our tasks and all the things. But we don’t want just to manage the holidays. We want to enjoy our life, and this time of year is one where you might actually have margin to do that. So that’s what this episode is. We’re going to move from management to enjoyment and do it the Lazy Genius way.   Helpful Companion Links Episode #288: How to Make the Rest of 2022 Easier Episode #238: How to Get Stuff Done When You Don’t Feel Like It Episode #135: Nailing Your Holiday Vibe Bonus: How to Decorate for The Holidays with The Nester Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen (a gorgeous 4-color hardback book that would make a great gift!) or The Lazy Genius Way! Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 292. How to enjoy the last two weeks of the year. We have done so much work these last few weeks of figuring out how to manage our expectations and our holiday home and our time and our tasks and all the things. I hope you have felt some comfort and help in learning to manage, but we don't want to just manage all the time. We want to enjoy our life. And this time of year is one where you might actually have margin to do that. So that's what this episode is. We are going to move from management to enjoyment and do it the lazy genius way.

So what is different about the last two weeks of the year, the week before and the week after Christmas? Why is the energy there consistently different from the rest of the month of December? Now, you intuitively know this, but maybe you haven't named it yet. And we know that naming things is so helpful. The first two weeks of December are very preparatory, right? Things are beginning. Decorations, gift buying, the planning of the calendars, committing to certain things, saying no to certain things, finally getting dates for the kids' Christmas play, lots of pieces and parts, right?

And even though it feels like a lot, I think that putting preparatory energy into those first two weeks of December, it really pays off later. That's why we've been doing all these preparation episodes the last little while. So you'll feel more ready and on top of things that matter to you. But then, ultimately, the second half of December is when things slow down from a management preparation standpoint. And now you get to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You watch the movies.

You wrap the gifts while watching the movies. You go to the parties and you see the town square Christmas. tree and you see the Christmas musical, you got tickets for a month ago, you visit your parents, like you do the things that you have been getting ready for. And as a reminder, before you start to feel guilty for how you've handled the holidays so far, when I say the things you've been getting ready for, that phrase is so relative. What you need to get ready is different from what someone else needs. What you're getting ready for and how many of those things there are is different. than what someone else is getting ready for.

So don't assume that when I talk about preparation, that you did it wrong because you're not doing a lot or you're feeling behind or you think everyone just needs to calm down because it's just another holiday. Like there are a lot of feelings this time of the year, obviously because of life stage, family relationships, your living situation, your budget, your location, your interest in the holiday at all, even faith-related struggles, right? There are a lot of things happening right now inside all of us. So as we move forward in this episode and we talk about what we have prepared for and what we're now

enjoying, it is normal and good for everyone listening to have different versions of that. Right. If you don't care about Christmas cookies or Christmas movies or caroling or lights or Christmas itself, you can feel that way just like the person who is a real life buddy the elf can feel their way, right? We can all kindly exist with whatever matters to us during this holiday season. Okay, so we have likely been in a season of preparation. Now, how can we move to a season of enjoyment these last two weeks? A wonderfully small place to start is naming where we are, naming that we're about to transition into a time of enjoyment. If you are listening to this episode on December 12th,

when it comes out next Monday, the 19th, it begins the enjoyment phase of the holidays. Now, December 19th isn't the rule. It's like just the beginning of the week before Christmas. And that's where the energy starts to shift. So if you're listening in real time, you can say to yourself that you have about one more week of preparation left. Naming that alone can be helpful in preparing for your enjoyment. You can decide what tasks or decisions still need to get done before you can fully rest and enjoy the last two weeks of the year. So what are those things? What is still on your list? What is still on your mind? If you listen to episode 288, how to make the rest of 2022 easier, and you did your homework from that episode, you can look back at those notes and you can see where

you are. What did you name is most important? What did you mark as now, soon, later, and never mind? Are you still thinking about the things that you said, never mind to? Maybe they're not nevermind. are the things that could happen later still undone and later has become now, right? Basically, you might already have some words around what you still need to do. And before I say more actually about finishing up the management, I want to pause real quick. This is not like a binary thing. It's not that you cannot enjoy the holidays before December 19th and then literally everything has to be done after December 19th.

You know what I'm saying? That's not what I mean. It's simply that the pie chart. shifts. Like probably. The majority of you will have more management the first half of December and will desire and hopefully experience more enjoyment the second half. That's what we're aiming for here. It's just a shift, a shift to like a new majority energy shareholder. Basically, you're enjoying things more than you're managing them. Now, sometimes there are seasons like the first two weeks of December where there is a heavier dose of management. And that's okay. I think about like the first two

weeks before school goes back, you know? In fact, I think it's good. I think it's good to think about it this way that there are seasons of management because it allows for more enjoyment later. That feels important to say right now. So it's not just one or the other, right? It's both, but in different ratios. Okay. All right, unpause. So let's move forward. So for this upcoming week, name what still needs to be done so that you're in a better position to enjoy more things next week and the week after. Now, how do you know what you still need to do? So if you didn't do the homework from episode 288, you can still go back and listen and do it now. You can still write some things down. Or you can just do a brain dump. I love a brained up so much. Simply write down

everything on your mind. And then you can go through your calendar too and see like what sparks ideas for your list, right? You don't categorize it. You don't analyze it. You don't analyze it, you don't overthink it. If it is on your mind, you write it down. Getting it out of your head and on paper is a worthwhile exercise in and of itself. Either right after you make that list or a little while later while you give the list and yourself a few minutes to breathe, which is always a good thing to do, then you're going to categorize. You're going to batch it and you're going to group things together. That's a lazy genus principle, right? Batch it, which some of you hear something else.

every time I say it and that will always bring me so much joy. Okay, so by grouping your tasks together in any number of ways, you will be able to see what you need to do more clearly and you'll be more efficient in getting it done. So here are a couple of ways that you could do that, that you could categorize your list. You could categorize based on time. Now, I already mentioned this, but you can make four new lists from your brain dump. Now, soon, later, and never mind. Now, soon, later, never mind. You can go through your brain dump and then you put everything you wrote down on one of those

categories, like write them all out again so that you can see them together and you can see what you need to do right now. If this is helpful, sometimes I will give parameters to what I mean by soon and later. Like soon as tomorrow and the next day, later is this weekend. you know, something like that. You might not need that, but you can make those words mean whatever you need them to mean, right? Ultimately, though, you can categorize your list by time or by urgency. That those words kind of cover both of those things. Another way you can categorize your list is by whatever the thing is, right? errands, emails, at home tasks, tasks you can delegate,

things that require a conversation with someone else first. This type of categorization is helpful if you have a long brain dump list and are overwhelmed by just the sheer number of things. You look at it and you're like, I will never get all this done. I'll never get it on. You're just seeing the amount that you wrote down. You're not seeing the individual items. And categorizing by time first, it actually doesn't really work because the size of the tasks doesn't go down. You're just making a lateral move to cataloging your urgency. Right. And that can be overwhelming and not helpful. So instead of organizing by time, you can break your list down by the type of task. I love doing this because it lets the air out of the urgency. When you break your big list

apart into whatever type of task it is, you realize that a huge chunk of your tasks are all things that you need to know from your mom or dad or sibling or partner or something before you can do anything else. So really, you can mark off a lot of things with just one phone call or conversation. Or maybe you have a lot of errands to run, but you realize that you can knock them all out in one morning. And therefore, you're knocking out half of your brain dump list that just a second ago felt super overwhelming. And now it's more manageable. Okay. One final way to categorize is by how it fits into your lazy genius way of life. Specifically, you can ask, do I want to make this easier, make it matter, or let it go. If it matters, schedule it or put it into an existing

routine. Put it in its place. If you want to make it easier, use principles like decide once or start small or let people in. If you're letting it go, use the principle, be kind to yourself, because letting things go is often pretty tough to do. There are so many lazy genus principles at work here right? I love it when that happens. So in summary, take a minute to see what else you need to do to get prepared for the last two weeks of the year. You can use your episode 288 homework or you can do a brain dump and you can categorize your remaining to-do list for this last week or so by when something needs to get done, by what the thing is or by how it fits into your lazy genus life. Or you can categorize your brain dump however works for you. The point is to get everything out of your

head and then make it smaller, make it smaller by putting it with similar things so you can manage it more effectively. And I mentioned this in last week's episode, but if you're just really struggling being a responsible grown up right now with big like, I don't want to energy, please listen to episode 238, how to get stuff done when you don't feel like it. It is a huge help when you're just over it. We'll be right back. There's more to life than finding the perfect car. But Finding the perfect car can help you get the most out of life. Like the SUV that handles everything from drop off to off road, and the car that hulls groceries and hockey teams,

or the van that's gone from just practical to practically family. Whatever you want, wherever you're going, start your search at ototrater.ca, Canada's car marketplace. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life. whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder,

and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Can you all hear the rain on my office roof? I hope it's calming. It's calming to me. It might make bad audio, but we'll see. All right. So we have talked about getting stuff done so we can ease out of management and into enjoyment.

Now, how does that work? How does the transition itself work? I think the best answer to begin is an opening ceremony. Now, before we get into what that could look like, if you are new here, here's the idea of an opening ceremony. I love opening and closing ceremonies as a concept because they simply help us open and close on purpose. Now, do they have to be huge? No. Do they have to include? other people. No. Can they simply be a thoughtful moment where you name to yourself that you're moving from one thing to the next? Yes. So don't let the word ceremony mislead you. I mean, sure, things can be very exciting and elaborate and ceremonial, however you want to define that. But really, it's about marking the time, marking the moment on purpose. So I think that's a great way

to begin this time of enjoyment, whether it starts for you on December 19th or the 23rd or wherever it feels thoughtful to market. You can do that in your own head. You can make a fun dinner on that night and say like, we're on Christmas enjoyment time now or whatever. You can have a whole day where everybody in your house just does what they want and stays in PJs or whatever to mark the beginning of a cozy season of enjoyment. The particulars don't really matter. But I think actively, intentionally naming that you are entering into this time really matters. Back to the pie chart majority energy shareholder thing. Does this mean that there is nothing left to do?

Or that you no longer have anything to be responsible for? Or that you won't get stressed over something? Or that you won't run an errand for another two weeks? Very likely no. Remember, it's just the shift, right? we're just shifting into having more time enjoying things than time management of things. Now another way you can enjoy the last two weeks of the year is to choose something enjoyable every day. You can do it ahead of time and do it actively and intentionally, like write it down or something.

Or you can just know that every single day there will be something deeply enjoyable and seasonal for everybody. It can be a movie, a day visiting family, going to see lights, like whatever it is. But by having every day intentionally hold something enjoyable and naming it, either ahead of time or on that day, you're setting the stage for enjoyment. And I don't mean it has to be something like super planned. It can be we're enjoying today by having Christmas movies on literally all day and putting out a puzzle. And we're counting popcorn and hot chocolate as a primary food group. you know, like rest is deeply enjoyable and also deeply important. So don't get tricked into thinking enjoyment has to be like terribly active or social every single day.

Now, if you would like a practical way of approaching this, you could fill in whatever enjoyable things are already planned for the next two weeks. You know, like on empty days, check in with your holiday docket, which a lot of you filled out a few months ago. On empty days, you can look at that docket. You can see what mattered about the season. What did you name a while back that mattered this season? And you can look at what you haven't done yet. And you can fill it in on empty days if you want to write it down, if you want to actually plan it.

What if your people said that they want to do this season that you haven't done yet? Put those enjoyable things on the calendar or on days that you might not have anything planned yet. You're essentially just creating space for what matters. That's all it is. Instead of just accidentally having things happen. And really, isn't that all this is? that's all this is. The last two weeks of December are in many ways just beautifully ripe space to do what matters. I'm not assuming everyone has those two weeks off of work or school or whatever either.

A lot of you might have two or three days off in total over those two weeks, especially because the usual holidays of Christmas and New Year's Day are both on Sunday. And most people get those off, but if they're on Sunday, you might not. So hear me, I am not picturing all of you lounging about your house for two weeks with nothing to do. But even when you get home from work or finish caring for the family member that still needs care over the holidays, or you're tending to your chronic illness or whatever it is, you can still enjoy the holidays intentionally every day over those two weeks. You can feel the Christmas spirit in whatever way you like until Christmas or whatever you celebrate. And then past it if you follow the liturgical calendar even of the 13, how many days of Christmas? How many days of

How many days of Christmas is it? 12 days of Christmas? I think I wrote down 13 and I don't think that's right, but it's fine. So whatever you do, do what matters to you. You can engage in the quiet, reflective, sparkly time between Christmas and New Year's, where you're attending to your house, or you're thinking about your future, or you're just enjoying some quiet. Like, even if you do one tiny thing every day, those two weeks, you are enjoying the season on purpose.

You are being present and engaged and aware of this unique season and your place in it and not just letting it pass you by or just seeing what happens every day. It is a really interesting thing to me because, you know, obviously people call this the most magical time of the year, the most wonderful time of the year. And in many ways, I agree. Like December's my favorite month. I love it with my whole heart. I mean, I've never actually ranked my months, but it's my favorite month.

It definitely has my favorite weekend in it, which is. is Our Town's Christmas celebration weekend that happened a couple weeks ago. But it also has Christmas, which I love. It has my church's music program, which I love, and it has my birthday. So it was a fun month. I love it. I personally find it to be very magical. But obviously, there are a lot of folks who don't see it as magical as I do for many reasons, you know, family, consumerism, expectations, financial and social stress, just dealing with other people, faith stuff. Like, it's easy to put ourselves on two very opposing sides of the holiday spectrum, much like we do the lazy and genius spectrum.

You know, it can be very all or nothing. It's almost as though if you are frustrated by certain parts of this time of year, you are betraying yourself for enjoying any part of it at all. Like you're just not allowed to enjoy it. If you enjoy a little, then you're like, you're betrayal to the haters of Christmas. or if you love it so much, but you feel stressed about certain parts, you feel like you're pretending or you're playing a part or you're betraying the Christmas lovers, you know? Like, I don't think that's an overly present problem for a lot of you, but I do think it has merit

to say, maybe the reason the season is hard for some people is that we're expected to exist on one side or the other. We're supposed to be Tiny Tim or Scrooge. We have this expectation that it has to be completely magical, and if it's not, then none of it is worth it. Now, I don't think any of you actively believe that, but it's easy to absorb those messages all around us, especially when we might be under extra stress because of just the extra things that are happening. So just remember that your enjoyment of these last two weeks of the year, they don't have to be linear or expected or without nuance, you know, just enjoy what you you would like to enjoy as you can and with as much intention as you're able to. A couple of other

ways to approach enjoyment as we close up. First, remember your holiday vibe. We have an episode on creating your holiday vibe and really it's just about leaning into music and smells and light and the feeling that you have in your home both pre and post Christmas. And honestly, those vibes might be different from each other, you know, the pre and the post of the holiday. holiday, and that's good to name too. But play music and turn on the fireplace show on Netflix if you don't have a fireplace and read under a cozy blanket and, you know, take a walk around her neighborhood at night and see the lights. Like so much holiday magic and enjoyment is in those subtle, quiet things like light and music. Another thing to consider is some house rules

for your next two weeks, especially if you have kids who are off school and like you're going to be like home a lot, the week before Christmas will probably make more sense than the week after. Because the week after feels like this long expanse of spaciousness, but tiny kids don't always respond well to spaciousness. At the risk of sounding like a terrible parent, there have been many times during that week after Christmas, or even just like a random stormy Saturday in any month of the year, where Khazer, I will say to the other, this would be a really great day to not have kids. And I know in some ways that sounds terrible, but really it's just acknowledging that the way we as adults might spend our spacious time is different from how tiny kids do, right? So if you

have tiny kids, it's a season and you might need some better parameters during those two weeks, which is why I mention house rules. Think now while we're still in this preparation mode, right, about what limits your kids might want to stretch over the break. The likely culprits are snacks and screen time, maybe even baths if you're my kids. Like they love it when they get to skip washing themselves. So you could think now about how you would like to approach those kind of hot button parenting topics now. You can share the house rule with your people and then you just roll with it. It's like my friend Elizabeth, who y'all love my friend Elizabeth.

She said this a couple years ago. she said don't give yourself something extra to manage. I shared her words in an Instagram post like ages ago. And it really resonated with me and a lot of y'all. Those words came up when we were visiting her family in the mountains a couple of summers ago. And she put all the drinks that were acceptable to drink by the children, right? She put all the drinks in a cooler. And she just told everybody to get whatever they wanted when they wanted it.

And she said to me, she said she'd rather do that and make the decision one time and put the drinks in their place, then constantly be asked if it was okay to have a soda or whatever. She would want to give yourself more to manage. That is the key here with house rules. What can you delegate out to a house rule or some other lazy genus principle? So you have less to manage with your kids and more room to enjoy the time. And finally, please pay attention to the difference between the week before Christmas and the week after. We're going to make this its own point.

They tend to have pretty different energies. And if the post-Christmas energy sneaks up on you, you're going to pull out those big black trash bags and you're going to frighten your family. So pay attention now to what you think you might need. Prepare for that, right? Maybe you will do, you know, some kind of decluttering in a room the week after Christmas. You know, you can plan for that. Maybe when you pulled out your holiday decorations, you realized how cluttered that closet is where you store stuff and you're going to clean it out before putting the decorations back, you know?

Also, quick side note, this is a tip from the nester, who was on the podcast a few weeks ago talking about seasonal decorating. She will likely share this on Instagram soon if she hasn't already, but this tip of hers is genius. She brings it out this time of year, every year. Look at your holiday decorations that you did not use this year. Why did you not use them? It is very likely you don't actually need them anymore.

So her rule is to not repack decorations you didn't use. Now, sure, there are instances where, you know, you're having a different Christmas than years past. or something and you know you're going to use those things another year like you have tiny children who are going to rip down all your precious ornaments and so you're not going to put them up there right now but in general that's not really the case if we didn't love it enough to use it this year we probably won't love it enough later so go ahead and just get rid of it so you only pack up what you love for next time okay this was a way longer episode than I expected honestly I thought it was going to be like a quick 12 but I hope it helps the biggest thing is to notice that we are in a time of transition

from management to enjoyment, and the more we intentionally make that transition based on what matters to each of us individually, the better off will be, and the more we'll actually enjoy our holiday. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate our lazy genius of the week. This week, it's Christine Heatwole. Christine writes this, hi, Kendra, I've been listening to your podcast since 2019, and I love how the lazy genius principles can apply to almost anything, even cookies. I love homemade cookies, but I'm just not in a cookie, see.

season of life. With five kids from nine months to 13 years, I just don't have the timer energy to bake a batch of cookies, shaping of the dough and setting of timers over and over. I've decided that when I make a dessert, it needs to be in a 9 by 13 pan. It goes in and it comes out once. No waiting for a batch to finish so I can put in the next batch. I've been collecting a small repertoire of recipes like brownies and cookie bars that are easily baked in a pan. It's nice having limited options and not feeling the pressure to make something that I don't want to give my time or energy to right now. Christine, this is so good. And I'm so glad that I got this from you during this holiday season.

There are seasons of life, y'all, where certain things we love just don't work as well. But that doesn't always mean you have to give it up completely, right? Christine has shown us a beautiful use of Decide Once and live in the season to crowd favorite Lacey Genius Principles. she decided that her season of life wasn't made for cookies and decided once that everything gets baked in one pan and she still gets the pleasure of baking and enjoying and sharing but without the more stressful parts of it right i just love the simplicity of this and i hope for you all listening that it gives you some freedom in an area maybe centered around the holidays where the season

isn't as suited for one particular activity or choice that it once was and also that you don't always have to completely let it go you can adjust and you can still enjoy your things I love this so much. So thank you for sharing this with us, with us, Christine, and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. All right, y'all, that's it for today. Thank you so much for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. You ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life,

you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.