The Lazy Genius Podcast - #293 An Easily Forgotten Holiday Reminder

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

We are entering the week before Christmas. I don’t want to take up too much of your enjoyment time with a podcast episode, but I do want to say a few words about something I think we so easily forget around the holidays. This week, I want to talk about how we think about time.   Helpful Companion Links Sherry Petersik from Young House Love Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee The Enneagram and Decision-Making with Suzanne Stabile // The Next Right Thing Podcast Orientation to Time // The Enneagram Journey Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 293, an easily forgotten holiday. reminder. We are entering the week before Christmas, and I hope you've enjoyed the episodes leading up to now to help you feel like you're ready to enjoy this week. I don't want to take up too much of your enjoyment time with a podcast episode, but I do want to say a few words about something I think we so easily forget around this time of year. I want to talk about how we think about time. All of us process time differently, and all of us are positioned to see time through one of three

lenses, the past, the present, and the future. Shocker. If you're an eneagram person, you'll be a little familiar with this, but you do not have to know or even care about the eneagram for this to matter and to be very relevant to you. All of us see time from one of those stances. And those stances can impact us negatively around this time of year. If you are a person who thinks about the past often, who finds yourself at a party or driving down to a street or on your couch surrounded by Christmas presents. And then you're thinking back suddenly, if you're into the enneagram, past people are fours, fives, and nines. Okay, if you are a person who sees time through the lens of the future, you'll think about what could happen at a Christmas

party or on Christmas morning, gathering with your family that you have a difficult relationship with. And because you're analyzing all of those future scenarios and see how they could be negative maybe, you like just don't go to the party. Or you could be someone who loves the possibility of the future and it's just excited for the next thing. And therefore, it will be easy for you to miss what is good right now. Again, if you're an enneagram person, future people are threes, sevens, and eights. Now you might think that the present oriented of us, like have it in the bag. You know, we're so good at seeing things right now. But, Honestly, so many of us who are focused on the present are looking at the present in a managerial way.

We're managing how to make right now better. We're managing the expectations of the people who are in front of us right now. Or we're managing all the potential scenarios that could mess up right now. There's still a franticness to present-oriented people because it's all about management. those are ones, twos, and sixes. Okay, all that to say, I want to leave you with a phrase that I hope you carry with you this week. Good is here right now. Good is here right now. That is relevant for every single one of us, no matter how we experience time. Now when I say good is here right now, it gives us a kind lens to see where we are. It helps us embrace the season we're in,

even for a moment. It helps us be kind to ourselves, as we might be struggling with twinges of regret or disappointment or overwhelm. Good is here right now. So let's think about that phrase as we examine a couple of like potential holiday scenarios this week where that phrasing could be helpful and grounding to you. You might be in a really hard season, like singularly hard. If this is your first Christmas after losing someone because of death or divorce or a broken relationship or moving to a new place and being away from family and your best friend who you always did holiday stuff with, you will likely struggle.

with this next week or so. And rightfully so, it's hard when we miss something that's gone. And depending on the loss and how we are supported in it and how long we've been processing it, it could feel like this holiday is too overwhelming to handle. We might even think it will always feel like this. I don't want to tell you that the future will be better or though you'll get past it or, you know, whatever else. You don't need to dismiss how you see time and whatever experience you're in right now. You don't need to ignore the grieved past or the grieved future because of this loss or run away from the tears that just happen while you're wrapping presence.

Don't run away from those or dismiss them as unimportant. Instead, perhaps alongside those feelings, you can also hold the phrase, good is here right now. It might be a lot of good and it might be the tiniest pinprick, but good is here right now. Grounding yourself in that alongside your struggle is a gift you can give yourself so you're not swallowed up by whatever you're experiencing. Good is here right now. If you can look for the tiny, tiny bit of good and breathe into you. it right where you are, it will help you process the past, the future, and the management of the

present, especially in your grief, more kindly. We'll be right back. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for of awe. A special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Another place that this statement, good is here right now, could help is if you're in a new scenario that is usually good, but during the holidays, is showing its gross underbelly. For example, if you have a new scenario that is usually good, that is usually good, but during the holidays is showing, have a new job that you genuinely like. But you also don't get any time off because both Christmas

Eve and Christmas Day are on the weekend this year. That can be a tough place to be. You might miss your old job. You can suddenly resent this current one. You might wish for a new one in the future. It's okay to be sad and disappointed and even angry about not getting more time off this year or whatever the case may be with your new situation that is changing your holiday. season from what it once was, right? Especially when people like me are talking about the two weeks of the holidays, like we all have these long stretches of time and you don't, all of that frustration and sadness is normal. It's normal. And alongside it, what would it mean to hold the phrase good is here right now? Because there is. Good is everywhere. Even in the world. And the word,

worst circumstances. There are still humans who look you in the eye and smile and see you. There are still songs and jokes and poems and memories and sandwiches and things that can bring pleasure and offer a sweet moment of goodness right now. Even you personally paying attention to this question rather than letting your own disappointment drown you, that is a good thing right now. And even if you're drowning, being kind to yourself in it is also a good thing right now. Good is everywhere. It really is. And intentionally saying good is here right now is a way to anchor you in whatever else is going on.

Another place this could be helpful is in something way more benign and seemingly unimportant. Maybe you're home with little kids and the weeks around Christmas are, they're like sort of different than your regular day but not by a lot right and you're just tired you miss christmas mornings where you could just sleep and watch movies and not have to get anyone a snack it's easy to miss those seasons to miss what was it's easy to look ahead for when this season will change or to try and manage the one that you're in within an inch of its life right instead what would happen if as you're getting that cup of goldfish or you're changing another diaper or you're spending 92% of your winter holiday doing the same things you always do what if you held the phrase

good is here right now because you know there is it's why tiny kids are so cute they have built in goodness the chubby legs of a baby by themselves are a fantastic dose of goodness good is here right now hold it speak it look for it It doesn't take away the diapers and the grilled cheeses and the constant calls of mommy or daddy or whatever you're called by the kid that you care for. But it does cast a lovely light on those ordinary things. It's like those light catchers we have on our windows. Sherry Peterson from Younghouse Love influenced me to get some months ago,

as she does with many things in my house. Seriously, she's some kind of like influencing wizard. But we have those light reflector, rainbow stick on things on a couple of windows at home. and every day they cast this beautiful surprise on our ordinary rooms that hold our ordinary lives. I think that's what this phrase does. Saying that good is here right now is a way to add a little sparkle and surprise and light to wherever you are. It's the little cascade of a rainbow on the arm of the sofa. And if you have read Ingrid Fettel Lee's book, Joyful, that I love, you know that light and color

and surprise all three of those things, scientifically change our brain composition and help us experience joy, not happiness, but deep soul grounding joy. So if something as simple as a little lit up rainbow on the kitchen floor can do that, Imagine what good thing in your flesh and bones life can offer you. Good is here right now. Yes, you can long for something from the past. Yes, you can grieve for a lost future or long for a different one than your present is offering you right now.

None of those things should be ignored or dismissed or devalued. Your experience is your experience. Your feelings are your feelings. and also if you find yourself negatively affected by those experiences or feelings in a way that you wish was different, maybe this phrase, especially during this week, that's equal parts, you know, chill and restful and also very high stakes in the expectation department, maybe this statement will help ground you and make you feel like yourself. Good is here right now. If you want to be, want to hear more words about orientation to time. I'll offer a couple of podcast episodes you can

add to your cue. One is from The Next Right Thing with Emily P. Freeman. She interviews Suzanne Stabil. She did that a couple of weeks ago. And Suzanne is the best voice about this stuff without question. She is my Enneagram and like kind of also just like being a person guru. So that episode is great because it helps you see how your orientation of time, which is Suzanne's expertise. aligns with making decisions, which is Emily's expertise. It's so great. There's also an episode on Suzanne's personal podcast. Her show is called The Enneagram Journey, and it's episode 50, entitled Orientation to Time.

It's a great overview of how to think about this. In fact, if you plan to listen to both episodes, start with Suzanne's and then listen to Emily's. I think that's probably a good order for you. But remember, good is here right now. All right, before we go, let's celebrate our lazy genius of the week. This week, it is Susie Gosh. Susie sent me this DM just a few weeks ago, and I had to share it this week because of how fantastically genius it is for the week after Christmas or whenever you're taking down your

decorations if you decorate. So Susie wrote this. Hi, Kendra and LG team. I wanted to pass along something I started last year that is a game changer for me. Last year, when I packed up my Christmas decorations, I included the things I needed for them this year. I hang a lot of little wreaths and other things with clear command hooks. So last year, I packed the hooks with replacement strips in zip blocks and with each wreath. I had totally forgotten I had done that and I was so excited when I opened my bins this year. I didn't have to search my house for new strips or wonder where I stored all the hooks. I also labeled one box open first.

It had the things I needed first before I even got my Christmas trip. my Advent wreath candles, the Advent calendar, et cetera. I'm not sure why it took me so long to pack well, but I'm so happy I finally figured it out. Susie, this is such a great idea. I mean, it's two ideas, really. So, okay, y'all listen up. This first idea of packing up the tiny supplies you need for your holiday stuff that are not only used during the holiday.

This is a lazy genius principle number three, the magic question at work. What can you do now to make decorating next year easier later? ask yourself that question next week or the week after or whenever you're packing up your Christmas stuff and see if you can delight your future self that way. Also the second idea of this open first box is a dream and it is the perfect example of the Lacey Genius principle of going in the right order. When you're getting your home ready for Christmas, there are likely things that do go first because of the calendar or just because of how you decorate. Having that open first box helps you go in the right order with your decorating and not get overwhelmed

because you forgot something important that was more time sensitive or because you're just staring at thins wondering where to begin you know this is just so so good so thank you for sharing this with us susie and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week okay y'all that's it for today thank you so much for listening and until next time be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. You ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life?

It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You.

People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.