The Lazy Genius Podcast - #299 - What’s Saving My Life

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

We do these episodes about once a quarter for two reasons. One, it’s a wonderful practice that I want to remind you of as often as possible. And two, because our seasons of life change, so do the things that save them. It’s really important to me that we pay attention to seasonal practices so that we get off that train of a linear life that goes from start to finish. That’s not how life works, so let’s remember what is working for us, bringing us joy, and saving our lives right now.   Helpful Companion Links Other episodes like this one: #251 - What’s Saving My Life Right Now, #286 - What’s Saving My Life, #236 - 10 Things Saving My Life Right Now, #275 - What’s Saving My Life Right Now North Carolina candle by Homesick Sunshine Curry video on Instagram The Next Right Thing Podcast Necklace separator Get the Latest Lazy Letter to see my book reviews every month. Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi there. You're listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 299, What's Saving My Life. We do these episodes about once a quarter for two reasons. One, it is a wonderful practice that I want to remind you of as often as possible. And two, because our seasons of life change, so do the things that save them. It's really important to me that we pay attention to seasonal practices so that we get off that train of like a linear life that goes from start to finish. That's just not how life works. So let's remember what is working for us, what is bringing us joy and saving our lives right now. As a reminder, this is a concept coined by Barbara Brown Taylor,

one of my favorite authors. So thank you Barbara Brown Taylor for paving the way for us to do this simple but mighty little thing. All right. So I have 10 things on my list today, a couple of which are always here. Cheers for settling into what works and being grateful. for it, you guys. All right, the first thing is the North Carolina candle from homesick. Homestick is a candle company that makes a candle sent for every state and then even like fictional places. They have a death star candle, y'all. Like, come on. They have Harry Potter candles. They have a winter green mantle candle that is the best smells of Christmas and winter all in one. Like, I love these candles. They're a little pricier than most candles you'd find at Target,

but they burn for a really long time. They are really simple in their design, super pretty to look at, and their hot throw or how well the scent fills the room is really, really good. But the North Carolina candle is one of the greatest scented candles ever, even if you don't care a thing about North Carolina. It's just comforting and lovely and a little woodsy and has like a hint of tobacco in it since a ton of tobacco is farmed. to North Carolina. It doesn't smell like anyone's smoking in your house. It smells like,

there's like a little hint of freshly harvested tobacco. I love it so hard. And I have been burning it almost constantly. Also, fun candle tip real quick. One of the reasons that you want to keep your candle wicks trimmed is because a higher or longer wick, it creates a bigger flame. And therefore, a hotter burn, which makes the candle burn up faster. And it causes the scent to sort of diminish. It's more fire than scent. So it's not just that the candle wick is going to break off or something, and that's why you want to trim it. It's that a small wick, it means that a steady small flame is going to burn, which means a steadily burning candle with gray hot throw is going to happen. So, you know, the more you know, that the North Carolina candle from homesick

candles is number one. Okay, number two, playoff football. I love sports with my whole actual heart. and I have finally started noticing the importance of meaningful sports in my life. Like, I'll survive when there's nothing of note happening in the sports world. But when there is, it is like an anchor for me and my family. Before Christmas, it was the Men's World Cup. The Women's World Cup is my favorite sporting event of all time, of all of them. So I cannot wait for that. March Madness is up there.

That's coming soon. But playoff NFL football is a blast. We're a big NFL family. probably collectively our highest sport for sure. So it's something all of us really enjoy together. It's usually like really competitive. Like the NFL playoffs are like really compelling storylines. It's really competitive. It's emotional. We all get a ton of enjoyment out of it. So personally, it's saving my life because I love locking into something competitive over a period of time that I also love that it's something connective for my family. Number three is a

a new grocery pickup rhythm. I think I've had a meal planning something or other every single one of these episodes. Like there's always something in the meal planning world that is saving my life. And that's because we're always eating, you guys. Like food never stops. Meals, they never take a break. The kids continue to just to eat more than they did before. I don't understand. So because meals are always a thing, so are groceries, right? I talk about finding your planning and shopping rhythm a lot in my book, lazy genie's kitchen if you want some practical help to figure out the best rhythm for you. I don't want you to have just like a copy of my rhythm because that probably won't work because we have different priorities and different lives. So I'd encourage you to read that book. It's really great.

But the important thing to remember about meal planning and shopping is that it goes through seasons and phases and iterations. What worked last year might not work now. And I've even found that what worked last month could still work better. I mean, I'm in any year. gram one. Literally everything could work better. So don't feel badly as you change your rhythms or your choices little by little. That's natural and good. So in that spirit, lately I have been paying attention to the best times for me to not just pick up my groceries, but when I plan and prep as well. I want all three of those things, the shopping, the planning, and the prepping to be connected. If I don't connect the whole process, I will have groceries that will go

bad before a plan kicks in or before we get to a weekend when I have time to prep stuff, right? It's been a significant shift for me to continue seeing the entire process as one cycle, one rhythm, not separate ones. Like, I don't have a meal planning rhythm and a shopping rhythm and a prep rhythm. I mean, I do. But all of them have to be part of one single rhythm, if I'm going to have food when I need it and not have it be rotten when the time comes to eat it, right? So my current rhythm that I've been doing for the last month that's really worked. And again, this is just like little changes, little iterations over many, many months. And it has also prioritized something important to me, which is a prepped, like ready to go,

tasty lunch for myself. So that new priority, newer priority, and then these overlapping rhythms has led to this rhythm. So on Thursday, I choose what lunch I'm going to prep over the weekend for the following week. More on that lunch in a minute. On Friday, the next day, I do a grocery pickup. So I have groceries for the weekend and for that lunch prep. On Saturday or Sunday, I prep my lunch and maybe even a dinner thing or two, if I want to or need to, I have the time or the ingredients.

And then on Sunday, I meal planned dinners for the following week for that next week. and then on Tuesday I have another grocery pickup that holds the groceries for that meal plan for the rest of the week because usually Monday is spaghetti or something. I am never more than three or four days from a trip to the store. And those trips, they coincide well with when I'm choosing what to eat. That kind of broader comprehensive rhythm, it's worked really, really well for us. We also do still have like a little whiteboard in the kitchen to write down the things that we need. And what's so great about that when we write it down is I know that we'll be able to get it

like in just a handful of days at most. It's been a really, really great rhythm. We'll be right back. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe,

wonder and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. The fourth thing that is currently saving my life is fleece-lined leggings. Okay, I live in North Carolina, and it's for sure winter here, but it's not like Minnesota or anything. Like, it's pretty wet in the air. And even if it's only like 48 degrees outside, if the air is wet, the cold feels colder. I am always so very grateful to have a home with a good H-back system. And I try not to, you know, complain about temperature problems in my house because I have a heated house. Like a lot of people can't say that. So I'm, I'm super grateful for that. I also have noticed that even with the heat on and sometimes like a degree higher than our usual, I am still like consistently chilly. I will throw on a sweatshirt or a cardigan or something, but you can't do that for your legs, you know?

Like pants or pants. If I'm wearing jeans, I can't put on a pant cardigan. And if I'm wearing my viewer. joggers, which are still going strong or some other soft pant. My legs are still cold, even though I've got on soft pants and I'm not going to wear two pairs of soft pants. That feels excessive in a way that just makes me uncomfortable. So basically in the winter, my legs just have to deal. Until I recently bought a pair of fleece line leggings off of Amazon, they're nothing special, but they're also incredibly special. These things are like spandex furnaces. I love them. If I know I'm to be in the house all day on a cold day and can't just sit under a blanket the entire time, I tend to put these leggings on and they warm me up so much that I don't have to layer my top half.

Like, I don't have to put on a sweatshirt over top of my t-shirt or whatever. They do their job very well. And I wear them so often that I need another pair, so I have a spare when it's time to do laundry. Like, flee-sland leggings, oh, holy moly. Number five, my new favorite lunch, I mentioned earlier, which I have called the sunniest sunshine curry. You might remember Sunshine Curry from my Instagram account. I'm pretty sure there's a video in there of me making Sunshine Curry in real time. And then I know that there's a reel of it as well. Anyway, it's incredibly simple. Red bell peppers, sweet potatoes, chicken, coconut milk, and red curry paste.

Like that's the ingredient list right there. It's super delicious. But I have been on a cauliflower kick lately. Like, I love cauliflower. And also, chickpeas are an easier protein source for lunches than chicken, right? If I don't have any thawed chicken. I just opened a can of beans. So one day, I went live in our paid community called The Neighborhood and I made my lunch in real time while I was answering people's questions and stuff. And I had never made this particular dish before. But I figured it, like, it wouldn't be terrible because it was a riff on sunshine curry, right? So I kept the bell pepper and the sweet potato. I dropped the chicken and added cauliflower and chickpeas. I kept the coconut milk and the red curry paste, but I also added some ginger too.

Y'all, this thing was ridiculous. Ridiculous. Chrissy Anderson, she is an OG, LG listener and reader. She asked me if I could come up with more hearty, easy, delicious recipes like this after she made this because she was like, this is amazing. Can you do more things like this? And I was like, I mean, not until I get tired of this one. And that might never come. I might never get tired of this. It is just so good. I'm four weeks in a row, you guys, eating this for lunch every day. It is so good. I can meal prep it, so like servings are ready to go.

And it's just like, it's warm, it's hearty, it's delicious. It does not have any dairy or gluten, which I'm not necessarily sensitive to. But they can sometimes throw me a curveball on occasion in the middle of the day, which is not great. It just checks all the boxes and is. I will put the recipe in the late. just Lazy Listen's email that goes out next week. So the link to sign up for that is in the show notes. Okay. Number six. I've shared this before in a couple of other contexts, but I'm not sure if I've done it and know what safety amount of life, but it's fine. Number six is scheduled monthly workdays with

Emily P. Freeman. For you guys, you could just call this like a scheduled time on the calendar with your friend. Like it's so great. So Emily P. Freeman is someone you likely already know about and follow. She is an incredible writer and author. She hosts a podcast. called The Next Right Thing, where she helps you discern your next right thing in love. She is very good at her job, very good at her job. And she's a lovely human. We've been friends for 16, 16 years. I think that's right, 16, 17 years.

She and I have similar jobs, obviously, writing books and making a podcast and, you know, doing internet work. And internet work is sometimes, like, very deep, creative work. And sometimes it's like just a lot of logistics and maintenance and checking boxes. it's work that can adjust to your setting depending on what you're doing well emily and i like years ago we used to co-work at coffee shops like all the time mostly though when our our jobs were like more hobbies becoming side hustles they were like in that that transitional phase as opposed to now when we both have like capital j jobs we both have offices and people and coffee shop work it just doesn't really

happened anymore as much, right? Well, right around COVID, our relationship rhythm, it went through, it went through a transition, which I mean, like many things did for many people, right? Before COVID, we usually saw each other fairly regularly, about once a week. Then during COVID, and as we've all slowly like transitioned kind of out of it, that weeklyish rhythm, it stopped. Up until a few months ago, Emily and I would go days and days without talking, let alone seeing each other. And while that's okay and natural and transition rhythms, you know, neither of us liked it. Like, we like each other. We want to like talk more.

We were like, we would just text each other and be like, hi. Like it was such a desperate like, I miss you. Like that was kind of it. So a few months ago, Emily was like, do you want to plan on doing coffee shop work together once a month? And I've never said a faster yes to anything in my life. Like I said, I have, you know, I have mentioned this before. But it's important to name the things that we slowly begin that continue to say.

our lives and support what matters. Like we, we are about a half a year maybe into our monthly co-working mornings that we follow with a long lunch. And it has just been the best thing. Obviously, I love Emily and I want to regularly be together and keep up with each other's lives. But having that monthly anchor where we both know we're going to get several hours together and we can talk to shop and we can work and all the things. And then we can also have lunch and like talk about life. Like it makes the text and Voxer check-in. less desperate, at least from my end, because we know we're going to be together for a long stretch in no time. Having regular rhythms with people that matter to you, even monthly, which might not

seem like that's very often. It is, and it's so valuable to your life. We'll be right back. Number seven is my necklace separator. How many of you have struggled with trying to layer necklaces and they end up being like an unintentional choker by the end of the day? Y'all know I love wind-blown jewelry. That's like all I wear. And I have three different necklaces from them that are all like just slightly different lengths. I think I have like a 12 inch, a 14 inch and a 16 inch. And they look beautiful layered together. Like beautiful. Especially if I'm wearing a button down shirt that has like more of the neck area showing, you know. The problem is the necklaces get all tangled and sad and I end up taking off two of them out of frustration, even though my outfit really wants all three. So,

So I had asked a couple of people if they had tried necklace separators, which are like basically little clamps you attach all your necklaces to and it turns it into one necklace. And no one I knew had had a lot of success with, you know, whatever necklace separator they had tried. Well, I was desperate to try for myself because of how often I want to layer necklaces. So I went on Amazon. I poked around. Now, there were a ton of options, many of which are really inexpensive.

But I, of course, I was checking reviews and, you know, the necklace separator. from Lucky Brand, like Lucky jeans or whatever, while they were definitely more expensive, they seemed to offer a lot of success for people. So I was like, let's do it. Let's try one. I got it. That puppy works like a dream, like an actual dream. I've been wearing all three of my necklaces all at once on many days over the last couple of months since I got it. And it has made getting dressed so much more fun. So if you are wanting to layer your necklaces, the Lucky Brand Separator is fantastic. Also, just a reminder, all these links, links will be in the show notes. Okay, number eight. Number eight is a cashmere beanie. I don't know the

brand because I didn't buy it. My sister Becky told me it was her decide once Christmas gift for people this year. And I've got to say, that is a fantastic gift to give people. No one buys themselves a cashmere beanie, but would everyone want to wear one? Absolutely. So she gave me one for Christmas in this beautiful like cornflower blue and I'm obsessed with it. We are currently in a like slightly milder stretch of winter weather where it's not like super duper cold. I mean, I still want to wear my fleece lined leggings in the house. But when you go outside, it's not, it's not terrible. But I'm kind of sad that it's not colder because I want to wear my beanie. The thing that I love about it other than that it's like so soft and really light and not bulky is that it doesn't give me

hathead. Beanie of other materials are cute, but they're usually more form fitting to your head. and you don't really want to wear one and then have to take it off in front of people. This cashmere beanie, it eliminates that problem just because of how like chill the material is. Casimir is like such a vibe in that way. It's got a personality on your head. It's like, hey girl, we are chic and effortless, but also we're like cool and chill and we're not tightly wound. Like your hair is always going to be great.

We're not going to be too tight on you. It is just like a gray vibe. And I love my cashmere bany. I imagine because of cashmere being cashmere and bainty. bang bannies, that any cashmere beanie will do this. Like it will treat your head very well. Okay. Number nine is my morning reading. So I used to be a relentless morning reader, especially when I had tiny kids at home, no matter with a season of life, if I do not read at some point during the day and spend a little bit of time and quiet, I am a shell of a person. And when you're home with

little kids, the early morning before they wake up is kind of your only shot. So I used to get up early like 5.30 or something and I would read for you know 45 minutes before the kids were up. Well, I have full days in front of me now, you know, now that my kids are older and, you know, they're in school until mid afternoon every day. I also have a day off of work each week that I've been working toward that I love. I take lunch breaks where I read. Like I have that solitude and reading enjoyment built into my rhythm each week. So the early mornings became less important. But over Christmas break, I noticed that I stayed in bed until a kid got me out of it, usually Annie. And even though I was not resentful of her doing that, I really wasn't. It was also like,

it was a slightly bumpier road to feeling like a person in the morning. I was just a little bit like, well, once school started back the first week of January, I decided to try getting up just a little earlier than them to have that, you know, have that on ramp of just kind of feeling like a person and reading and solitude again, just to see if it helps. me be a little softer in that transition to being a mom and making lunches and getting everyone off the door, right? I've been doing that, getting up a little earlier for almost a full month now every single week day. And it has really been quite lovely. It's not super early. Like my alarm goes off just a touch before six. And I have my coffee mostly ready. So I just have to press a

button to get it once I get into the kitchen. And then I spend like 20 or 30 minutes reading before the kids start strolling in or in the case of my middle school son. I have to like call out of bed at least three times before I actually see his face. But I just feel softer and kinder and more present in the mornings now. And I believe it's because of that time of solitude and reading before I see anyone. Because that's really the only thing I changed. And it's been really lovely. It really has. And then finally, number 10, which I mean, really some version of this is always going to be on my list, which I just sort of said, but it's books. I mean, nine was about a time to read. 10 is just about books in general.

I never want to grow complacent and ungrateful in my love for reading and books. It is my personal favorite hobby and the thing of leisure I love the most. By naming it as important and that books do save my life day after day, I'm staying centered in that gratitude rather than reading, just becoming rote, right? It like the like the stack of papers on the table that you didn't put away and then you they just became like part of the decoration. You know, like you didn't notice them for so long that like they just became so commonplace. And I think when that happens, when things become so commonplace in our lives, it's,

it's easy to forget their significance. Books are a core piece of what brings me joy and presence and contentment and fun and consistency. I never go a day without reading. And I'm just really great. for that. It just keeps saving my life and I'm so glad. So I've read I've read 19 books so far in 2023, which I know is absurd, but that's how much I love it. If you are interested in knowing what I'm reading and what I think about what I'm reading, I share my book reviews in my newsletter once a month.

It's called The Latest Lazy Letter and it actually goes out this Wednesday. It lands in your inbox the first Wednesday of every month. It is very long and personal and helpful. It's full of book reviews and a whole lot more. It is a favorite thing for a lot of you. Like, I'm really honored that that is the case. Like so many of you tell me, like, this is the email that I look forward to more than any other email. And I'm just really grateful for that. If you would like to sign up to get it, go to the lazy genius collective.com slash join and you'll get it on Wednesday. And speaking of emails, the latest lazy listens, a biweekly email of all things podcast. It went out last Friday for the first time. I hope you enjoyed it. It is an email that offers a summer.

of the last two weeks' worth of episodes with some additional thoughts and practical steps, not to mention additional helpful links and resources that are not in the episode show notes. It is very robust and hopeful and lovely. It's also something that we're all really sparkly about on Team LG right now. So it's just been really, really fun to put together. So if you would like to get that email, and I really think you do, go to the lazy genius collective.com slash listens. Like I said, I will share the recipe for the sunniest sunshine curry in the next one that comes out on a couple of Fridays, along with the full list of what's saving my life and a few extras to help you figure out what's saving yours.

We really, really seek to honor your inbox by only sending you emails that you want to get, that are super hopeful and clear and also fun. So if you are interested in either of these emails, the links to sign up are in the show notes. Okay, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week it is Lisa Culver Bartlett. Lisa writes this. Here's my lazy genius hack for showing up for people in the form of comfort food, which matters to me. Decide once. My go-to meal to bring people is mac and cheese, unless they are gluten or dairy-free. It's vegetarian, economical, kid-friendly, and great-as-a-side or meal. batch it my recipe is scaled to use a two pound box of macaroni two pounds of velvita and a half a gallon of milk so no weird amount of leftover ingredients is left over is anything more annoying than an eighth a block

of elvita in the fridge that's so funny a single batch makes two nine by thirteen pans or four eight by eight pans or any combination they're in magic question which is a side note author note what can I do now to make something easier later? It freezes beautifully with plastic wrap and foil and sits in my chest freezer for mac and cheese emergencies. If a friend could use a hand, I can say, can I bring you dinner on pretty much a moment's notice? I just have to take it out of the freezer to thaw in the morning and bake it for about 45 minutes when I get home. I pick up a bag of salad and maybe a bottle of wine to round up the meal. Other lazy geniuses have suggested picking up a rotissory chicken as an add-on, which is genius if your friend appreciates meat or if they have

robinous teenagers. Alternatively, I can bring the frozen mac and cheese and they can keep it in their freezer and bake it when they want. Also, full disclosure, sometimes the mac and cheese emergency is my own. That last line got me, man. We all have mac and cheese emergencies, like for sure. I don't even have to break this down with what principals Lisa used because she already did it for me. This is obviously a great idea, but it's also a great example of how thinking through something that matters to you and then applying a couple of lazy genius principles to it can offer such life. So thank you for sharing Lisa and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. Don't forget that links to both the latest lazy letter and the latest lazy listens are in

the show notes. And if this is your first time listening, thank you so much for being here. I hope that you keep digging around in the archives of the show. And if you're curious about where to start in general in this lazy genius space, I highly recommend getting my first book, The Lazy Genius Way. It lays out the 13 lazy genius principles that are the foundation for everything we do here. And if you're feeling like super overwhelmed in your kitchen with all the planning and having what you need and feeding the people again and again and again, try the lazy genius kitchen. It's not a cookbook.

It is a lifeline to help you lazy genius your kitchen so that it will work for you. And it'll bring you life again. Like you won't hate going in there. Somebody recently left a comment and they were like, well, this book helped me not hate my kitchen. I'm like, yeah, that's exactly what it's for. So both of those books are available for you as well, anywhere books are sold. Okay, y'all, that's it for today. Thanks so much for listening.

And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it.

You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.