The Lazy Genius Podcast - #324 - How to Make the Rest of the Summer Easier

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

The middle of seasons can be tricky in that you’re in multiple places at once. So let’s talk about how to take that energy and massage it out a bit, making the rest of the summer easier. And we’re going to do that with a mid-season check-in.   Helpful Companion Links Episode #323: How to Lazy Genius a Big Change Midliner highlighters Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, you're listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 324. How to make the rest of the summer easier. This episode releases on July 24th, 2003, and for some of you, summer is legit almost over. Like some schools start in just a couple of weeks. Others of you do not start until after Labor Day. It is a wide range. And some of you, your summer has nothing to do with school at all. But because summer is likely more than halfway over for most of us, it is likely you have that anticipatory glimmer, maybe even stress of what is coming next. You are mentally already starting to wind down this season and get ready for the next one. You might also realize that it's almost the end of July and you're feeling the push of things that you have not yet done this summer. You start panicking about if you've had the amount of fun you wanted to, or if you did the project you say that you would tackle or if your kids have had a good time. The middle of seasons can be tricky and that you're in multiple places at once. So let's talk about how to take that energy and like massage it

out a bit, making the rest of the summer easier. And we're going to do that with a mid-season check-in. Grab a piece of paper or a notebook or a Google Doc or whatever and just answer these questions with me. First, what are you thinking about? What are you preoccupied with? What's floating around in? your head. This is definitely a lot like a brain dump, I suppose, but I want you to name all the things you're thinking about. Are you thinking about what you already did? Or maybe what you did in summer's past that haven't happened yet? Are you preoccupied with the upcoming fall and the tasks involved? Are you wishing you had done more this summer and you're worried you're going to run out of time? Is everyone sunburned and feral and you can't remember the last time you used your oven?

Like, name where you are and what you're thinking about right now. Second, what's happening? What's coming up on the calendar? What is going on in the lives of your family? What is happening in your body or your emotions or your schedule? You can put this in the same list as the first question, if you'd like. You're essentially naming all of the things that are getting attention or that you want to give your attention to. Same goes for the next question. What do you wish was happening. It can also go on this one list. It could be a summer activity you haven't done yet or a day off you have yet to take. It could be a vacation or a more prepared sense of the upcoming season. It could be that you have lost someone or something that is impacting your experience

of the summer of this season you're in. And you did not know that wishing that that thing or person was around was causing you stress or sadness or grief. So name what you wish was happening. Okay, now you have a big old list of the things that are in your head and in your life. Personally, my list often feels a lot longer than it is in reality. I will begin a mid-season check-in and I'll get it all out on paper. And then as I begin writing, I assume I'm going to have like 30 things on there. Really, it ends up being like six or seven, maybe 10.

But the energy those things take up, it is way out of proportion to what's actually happening. note that as you look at your list, is it a big old list or did it just feel like one? That's interesting. Just observe. Okay. Now before we jump into what to do with this list, I want to remind you of something. So often we think that if we are thinking about our time, if we're planning ahead, if we're being intentional about what's to come, that we are not being present, that we're cheating

what's happening now if we're thinking about what's going to happen later. Now, occasionally, that's true. Like, I can definitely be so preoccupied with trying to get control over what's coming that I forget the good that is here now. I forget to be present. I get obsessed with the overwhelming problems and the new seasons and the big changes. But if you remember from just last week, episode 323, had a lazy genius of big change, we have to name what's going on.

We have to name what's actually changing and then make it smaller. otherwise we will cheat the present by worrying about the future. Plus the solutions we're creating are too big to work anyway. It's like a double waste. So this practice of knowing what's coming, it is good as long as it stays small. It's helping you add peace to some future concerns so that you can create more space to engage in what's happening now. Otherwise, you're spinning out while making detailed future plans or you're sitting

with your hands over your ears, like humming and rocking, hoping that the stress will just go away. Let's not do either of those things. Let's just intentionally think about our time and our season in such a way that we can still enjoy where we are right now. It is possible. Okay, so you have your list. Now what do you do? How do you take this list and use it to make your summer easier? We make it smaller. We'll be right back. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something. waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw. A special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life.

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. So a mid-season check-in is to do just that. it is simply to check in in the middle of a specific season. You have made your list of what's going on, what's happening in your head, and what you still want to make happen. But also, what do you need? In this moment of checking in and looking at your list, what do you really need? That's a big part of why we check in at the first place, why you go to the doctor. Like, what is it that you need?

A lot of times, what I need is just to trust my future self and calm down a little bit. I need to ignore like 90% of my list because the energy I'm spending trying to prepare for everything and anticipate everything and know everything that's coming day after day after day is exhausting me. But because it happens slowly throughout the season, you know, I'm that frog in boiling water. It's like I have no idea that I'm like slowly energetically dying. So as you scan your list, make a separate list of what you need. What do you need right now?

you might need a day off. You might need to schedule someone to come to a deep clean of your house in four weeks so that you can start the fall with a calmer slate, which also gives you more freedom to let your house be well-lived in until then. But if what's in your head is about your space and the overwhelm of it, maybe what you need is to have a plan in place to be on the other side of that eventually. You might need to eat something that isn't a hot dog. you might need a night out with friends just to be a person without having responsibilities

because the kids have been home forever. You might need a new hose because yours broke and your kid's favorite summer activity has gotten pushed off because you didn't buy a replacement right away and now you're that boiling frog that forgot to get a new hose, you know? What do you need? And honestly, answering that question, that might be enough right there for your midseason check-in. Clearly seeing all that's happening in your head and in your life, followed by an honest

answer of what you need and then scheduling that thing, doing that thing, that could be enough. I love that. Like, have what you need and enjoy the rest of your summer. Now, if you need a little more than that, let's keep going. If you go through your initial list and you realize that your midseason check-in has a lot more trouble spots than you anticipated, that you need so much that you feel overwhelmed, even in writing it down, let's make what you need smaller. This is my favorite time to use my mild liner highlighters, y'all.

Oh, I love those things so much. But no matter what you have, find a way to mark your list in four distinct ways. You can use four colors, four symbols, you can use actual words. Whatever you use, I want you to go through your check-in list and mark each thing one of four ways. make it smaller, make it easier, make it matter, or let it go. Make it smaller, make it easier, make it matter, let it go. Everything on that list should have one of those four categories. Some things really matter.

Other things need to happen, but you just want to make them easier. Some things are too big to even figure out and they need to be smaller. And there are definitely things you're worried about that you can just let go. That doesn't mean that you'll never think of them again. It just means you're letting them go for now. P.S. Please don't be a martyr in what you let go. If you find that everything you're letting go is stuff for you to feel like a person,

I will come for you. Kindly and compassionally, but I will come for you. What you need matters. So please don't just cut your things because that feels easier. It's not. When you feel like a person, doing things that matter, making things easier and just living your life, it feels more natural. and more fulfilling. Do what you need to feel like a person. Do not let that go. Okay. So your list is

categorized in these four ways. What do you do with it? Start with the things that you highlighted that matter, right? Definitely start with what matters so you can make it matter. It gets first dibs. It's like the biggest rock. If you want to make something matter, you need to have what you need to do it. So what is that for you? the things that matter, what do you still need? You might need to put like an activity on the calendar, right? You might need to send a text to invite someone to something before it passes by. You might need to just go ahead and grab that paperwork right now and just fill it out. You might need to look at your calendar and pick three possible days where you could have the day or the morning or whatever completely off. And then you email your boss or text your mom or call your friend or whatever and find which of those three

days works best for them and for you to have your time. If something matters, make it matter. Name what you need and then do the next thing to help you get there. Okay, so that's the first category we look at. Next, I want us to look at the category, make it smaller. Now, even though some things in this category will end up in something that matters, you know, I don't like to start with the make it smaller category because I just want to go ahead and prioritize things that I know already matter. I don't want what matters to get the leftovers, right? But I can add to what matters once I go through the things that make it smaller. If something comes out of make it smaller that I need to make matter, then I'll go ahead and do that. Does that make sense? The order matters here. How many times can I say

matter? Okay. So with the things that you categorized as make it smaller, break those things down into pieces. For example, we are about to have our primary bathroom gutted and renovated. In fact, we are a couple of weeks into that process by the time this episode is released. Hopefully it's going well, but getting ready for that renovation was a big item on my personal midseason check-in a couple of weeks ago. I wrote, get ready for the renovation on my list. But how? How do I do that? like that is way too big to just make happen so i made it smaller i broke that big thing into a list of items of a smaller task to do like move the things from the primary cabinets to the other bathroom sort the clothes in our closet to find out what's necessary to wear now pack away everything else

assemble the portable clothing racks for our current clothes move the dresser against the other wall because that one wall's going to be demoed take the mirrors out of the bathroom so they don't get demo because we want to keep those. Organize the tiny bathroom that our whole family will use for the next six weeks. Now those are still fairly like detailed big tasks, but they're doable tasks, right? They make sense. And from those items, I know what I need. In fact, I did some of this weeks ago and had my mom slash personal assistant get some of the things I knew I would need now. So like she already bought the clothing racks. She already got bins that fit the tiny bathroom shelves for our stuff that's going to need a new home.

Just this morning, I asked cause, my husband, if he would clean the big, like, plastic storage bins that we have in the garage so that we can put clothes in them when we clean the clothes out in the next day or two. Make the big things smaller. Have what you need. Schedule what needs scheduling. You're doing great.

We'll be right back. All right, what about the things that you want to make easier? This is where we can apply some lazy genius principles, right? Maybe your summer check-in showed you that meals have been a bear this summer and you need to make them easier. You can do that by making a meal matrix for the rest of the summer, which is just deciding once what you're going to have on repeat on different days. Maybe your check-in showed you that you have not been to the pool or the local splash pad or the ocean,

if you live by the ocean, jealous, as much as you wanted. Why? Because getting ready to go is just a bear. So make it easier by filling a bag with everything you need and keeping it there. Make wearing a swimsuit easier by getting a pair of. boy shorts so you have less to groom if you choose to groom. Notice what you need that you don't have and make that thing easier. Maybe you have been making something that matters complicated. This is a story of my life. My son Ben and I, we made this really great reading chart at the start

of the summer. Like, it's so cute. But because plans are just intentions, they are not past fail and also because we don't know what life is going to throw at us, Ben has not marked a single thing on that chart. Now he's read, but he has not marked off a single title of a book that he has read. I also had big plans the first week of summer to take the kids to the local used bookstore and the library to just stock up on summer reading. Like we were going to be a reading family this summer. And on the day I'm working on this episode, we are two weeks into July and we have still not been to the bookstore or the library. We've had strange, like sometimes dangerous weather. That first week of school was weird. The weather was weird. Even my therapist was like, do you know how many people

have referenced that week as being a weird week that just threw everybody off? It was bizarre. We've had sickness. We have had like unexpected chill days at home that I didn't want to interrupt by being like, okay, let's pack up and go to the store. We have had like odd working schedules with Kazin Me. Lots of things have gotten in the way of us going to the bookstore or the library. but also I just tend to make what matters complicated. If we don't have a reading rhythm and a detailed plan that we follow through on, it's like it doesn't count. But that is obviously very untrue.

Just because we haven't been to the bookstore, it doesn't mean my kids haven't read. And just because my kids have not read as often or in the most rhythmic of ways or they haven't filled out their chart, it doesn't mean it doesn't matter. Reading still matters. So just notice if you're overcomplicating something that matters. That's usually my downfall.

Make that easier. Then look at what you're letting go. Are there things that need actual actions to do that? Do you need to tell someone that you cannot commit to that thing you said you could probably do? Do you need to put the like 7% of the cleaned out items from this giant closet back in the closet? Because you don't really need to clean out that closet right now? Do you need to take that life-changing appliance out of your Amazon cart so that you don't keep thinking about how it could probably make everything so much better even though part of you knows it won't?

Do whatever you need to do to let the things go. Most of the time it's just a decision, but occasionally we need to do something tangible to let something go. So do those things. Okay, that was a lot of good work. Your mid-season check-in has shown you what matters, what you need to make easier, what is too big to deal with and what you can let go of. Finally, I want you to stop thinking about the future.

And I want you to think briefly about the recent past and where you are right now. Take a moment to reflect on the summer. Name what you have loved. Name what has made you and your people come alive. Like take a moment to honor that thing. Then notice where you are right now, even in this very moment. and see the good that is here now. If you go through a future-oriented process like we just did,

and then we end this episode on the momentum of like, all you have to do, even though it's good and in a right order, it's made smaller, it can easily take you away from what has been good and what is good right now. So we'll end this episode, but also I want you to end your time when you go through this process, end it by reflecting on what's been good and the good that is here wherever you are.

You could actually even start the whole thing that way and in. What a great bookend. And that's how to make the rest of the summer easier. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week it's Meredith Ritney. Meredith wrote me this. My husband and son often leave their socks in our living room, garage by the back door, etc. and several times a day I was carrying these socks to the other end of our house to put them in the laundry bin. I finally decided to put a small basket by the back door and I just tossed the socks in there until wash day. A small change, but it has saved me so much frustration.

I love this so much. We also have one of these. It's been a while since I mentioned it actually, but one of the most annoying things I experienced every day were the socks. We also used cloth napkins, so those would be left around our main living area too. It just made me crazy to pick them up. or remind the kids to pick them up. Plus, our main laundry basket, it's in our bedroom, which is the furthest location from the kitchen living room area.

So instead of like walking back and forth like Meredith was doing, I got a small, like little galvanized steel pail with like a little rope handle. That sits in the corner of the kitchen. Every piece of laundry that exists in our main living area, so the socks and the napkins mostly, goes in that bucket. We call it the napkin bucket. even the socks go into it too. And it's so much easier for the whole family to just like pick up the stray laundry and put it

right there in the napkin bucket, then walk down two hallways through my bedroom to the laundry bin. Now, it's not hard to do that, but it's also kind of annoying to do that. I find it annoying. My kids definitely are. And remember, the easiest problems to solve are the annoying ones. And the more of those that you solve, the more pleasant your daily life generally becomes. So we solve the annoying problem by being like, hey, put your, socks in the napkin bucket. It's literally right there. Right? So this is such a great idea that I also use and vouch for. So thank you for sharing Meredith and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. Okay, y'all, that's it for today. Thank you so much for listening.

And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.