The Lazy Genius Podcast - #330 - How I Handle a Busy Season

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

When you are transitioning from one season to another - like from summer to school or school to summer, from this job to that job, from being in a relationship to being single or being single to being in a relationship, from pre-diagnosis to treatment for the diagnosis - the time right before that transition often feels like the hardest. You don’t know exactly what’s coming, and you want to prepare as much as possible. Whatever your particular color of that energy is, I hope that this episode gives you some permission and some practical tools to handle your own busy season.   Helpful Companion Links The Holiday Docket The Next Right Thing Guided Journal by Emily P. Freeman Episode #245: How I Personally Meal Plan Episode #254: Chores I Do Every Day Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode.   This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, you are listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 330, how I handle a busy season. One might argue that most seasons are busy seasons, right? It seems like there's always something going on, something new or unusual on top of what's already happening, and it can feel like a lot. I think the time it most feels like a lot is at the beginning. of a busy season. When you are transitioning from one season to another, like from summer to school or school to summer, from this job to that job, from being in a relationship to being single or being single to being in a relationship, from pre-diagnosis to treatment for the diagnosis, the time right before that transition often feels like the hardest. At least it does for me. You don't know exactly what's coming and you want to prepare as much as possible. Whatever your particular color of that energy is, I hope that this episode gives you some permission and some practical tools to handle your own busy season.

So today I am sharing what I do. You can do it. You can do some of it. You can do none of it. But I think hearing how different people handle a challenging situations, it helps us see what we would or wouldn't do ourselves. So here's what I do. Now for context, I am entering a very busy season. It's a typical level of busy in that it's fall. I think fall is really busy for a lot of us. And for us, we just started school last week. For our family, fall means getting into the school groove. It means having to help my son Sam narrow down the 17 extracurricular activities he wants to do and then get him to and from the few that he has time for.

It is seasonal celebrations that we love as a family that we do every year. It is also a season, y'all, where we have 11 family birthdays, like significant family members, not like Randos second cousins. We have 11 family birthdays over a 13 week span. That is basically one birthday a week. And that does not even include my friends' birthdays, of which there are another half dozen over that same span. Then of course, there's Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Nothing crazy about those, right? There is my church's Christmas program that is one of my favorite things all year that has like rehearsals and planning stuff all during the fall. I also have a job. and we have a couple of really big projects happening right now that take extra work time. Then there are the regular things like meals and carpool and paying bills and all the things that just come with being a person. In short, this is my busiest season, like all the time. It's always my favorite season because of all the fun things happening.

But that does not mean it's easy to handle. So that is the context for my busy season. Now, every year as school gears up and fall begins, this is what I do. First, I panic a little. You just heard all those things I listed. It is a lot of things. And in my head, the entire season exists as one giant thing that makes me feel quite stressed. So that's what I do first. I get stressed out every single time, every time. Next, I think that for some reason, this season and how I handle it is finally going to be the exception to my often repeated rule of big systems don't work. I think, well, maybe, maybe this one will this time.

Like, maybe it will. And I start to build one. I start to build one. Big seasonal systems where I plan out and systemize and mechanize and optimize every single thing. They have never worked for me, ever. They always let me down. And yet, at the start of every busy season, especially the fall, I wonder if this time will be different. Maybe this time I can build a life machine that works long, longer than three days. Sometimes I stop at the idea when I'm like, oh, I should build a big system. And I'm like, Kendra, nope. And other times I take it a little farther than I would like to admit, lots of markers, a new notebook, Googling stuff about the best way to do something. Thankfully, I do not stay in that space as long as I used to. This year was only about an hour.

I consider that progress. I was in like big system energy for just an hour before I realized what I was doing and I stopped. So I think that's great. So after I feel stressed and panic and I start building big systems, then I breathe. That's what's next. I breathe. I stop the building and I breathe. I remember what matters. Not just about the season itself, but about myself. It matters more that I am a calm, grounded person despite my circumstances than like everything being figured out. it matters that I learn to pivot more than I learned a plan. It matters that I release this idea that I can control my life and everything that happens in it. I don't want that to be what drives things.

Things happen every single day that I did not anticipate or plan for. And that is the baseline, you guys. That is the normal that we should all accept. Normal is not that things go smoothly. normal is that things are unexpected and a little bumpy. We live in a culture, I think, where the normative idea of time management is ease. And it is not. It is not.

Most of my days are not logistically easy. Now, can I make them easier with some lazy genius principles? Yeah, for sure. So I'm not saying you have to like thrive in chaos all the time. I do not enjoy chaos myself. But you can't experience peace in that chaos. of the time, you can release this idea that an ideal day is smooth and without any problems or arguments or tough decisions or changed plans. The goal is not to repeat the greatest day

until you die. That is too much pressure. The goal is just to feel like yourself as much as you can despite how your circumstances are what you thought they be or not what you thought they be. So after that stress and that system building, I stop, I breathe, I remember what matters. And after that happens, things feel calmer on the inside, which makes the decisions I make on the outside a little easier to come by. We'll be right back. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of A Special Series on How Our Public Spaces Can Spark Aw, Wonder, and Enhance the Quality of Public

Life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Okay, now that I have turned down the planning intensity and have remembered what matters, it's time to actually handle a busy season. So first, I look back at last season. By last season, I mean like the previous similar type of seasonal transition, right? So I'll think back to the previous year's start of school for this example of where I am now. I think about what worked, what didn't, what I remember as great, what I remember as not so great. Just a few notes about last time. Okay. Now, if I need a deeper dive into the previous season or like I simply cannot remember much of it, which often happens honestly, I will look back at my next right thing guided journal, my one line a day journal, even my camera roll or Instagram feed

from that time of year to see what was going on. It depends on how contemplative or nostalgic or forgetful I'm feeling, but I will always look back before I look ahead and we'll use different resources to do that. Emily P. Freeman, who wrote the next right thing book and the next right thing guide of journal. She taught me that. And it is an incredibly valuable practice for someone like me who does not naturally look back at all. Look back before you look ahead. So after I look back, then I do look ahead. What's coming? What are all the things? Can I name anything that matters most this season right off the bat? As I look ahead, do I notice something very quickly like, oh, that's what matters. Now, something new came to mind this year for me that I have never named in previous years.

So the other day, I mentioned to my husband, Cause, that another parent was recruiting me to be on a parent committee at school. And he reacted a little more strongly than usual when I said I might do it. He said something like, you just have a lot on her plate. And I don't know that you have the time for that. Now, on one hand, I actually really appreciate him wanting to care for me and my energy. you might think I'm the lazy genius because I'm naturally wired to remove the things from my life that do not matter, but you would be wrong. I've had to develop those skills over many, many years, and I will often let my caffeinated squirrel brain run wild, and she is a bit of a terror who needs to be

reined in, and cause is often part of what helps me rein her in. So I appreciate his perspective on that. But I also found his concern like a little fascinating. I do have a lot going, on, but going to two meetings for the rest of the year and maybe organizing like one or two email sign up campaigns, it didn't seem like that much at all. And when I said that to him, he said, well, you just seem really stressed. And that is what led me to this thing that really matters to me this season. I think that I exude more stress than I feel. Or maybe it's that I can handle a greater sense of stress as my baseline than my family can. But what I don't want is for my family to internalize my stress as their own and have it impact the vibe of our home. I'm not saying I want to hide from them or lie to

them. It's not about even protecting them. It's more that I have this curiosity around how I express my stress. I think I do give off a more stressed out vibe than I feel, probably to every one. one. I'm like, I'm a fairly intense person and how I communicate. I'm a verbal processor, which means I say most things I'm thinking. It's a tough look, honestly. And I talk loud and fast. So I can totally see how doing that a lot would come off as being stressed out, even though that's like just how I am. But if I am stressed, those tendencies are more frequent and probably at an even higher volume than usual. So that's why I want to pay attention to that during the season. What matters to me is that I notice my level of stress and how my family might interpret it incorrectly.

I don't want them to feel the busyness of the season in a way that is incongruent with what's actually happening just because I'm talking a little louder. Does that make sense? That's like a very specific thing that matters to me this season, but it really, really does. Now, I can support that with regular daily check-ins where I ask myself, like, how's my stress coming across? And is that stress accurate? If it's not accurate, I want to tone it down or explain why it's high. I just have a lot of energy. I'm not actually stressed out. I think that's going to be a really helpful practice for me. Okay, so I look back, I look ahead, and I notice if anything, important jumps out. And for me, that's what I just said. For you, it might be something else or nothing at all.

That's okay, too. Next, I do some separating. My tendency, oh, now I want to sing, you got to keep them separated. Okay, my tendency is to make the next four months one big giant task, right? And that does not make sense. It feels in my body and my brain like one big thing, but I most certainly cannot and will not treat it as one big thing. You cannot treat a busy season as one big thing. So instead, I do some separating. The first thing I separate is existing systems and rhythms from like everything else that's kind of season specific or out of the ordinary. For example, here's what I might do. I might look at this busy season and go, oh, man, I have like all of life to do. I have to go to these meetings and buy birthday gifts and cook dinner and be a person every single

day. Like we sort of make this long, exhaustive list of all the things. You probably relate to that feeling. But what's interesting is that some of those things, they already have, like, fairly decent existing rhythms. I mean, sure, dinner is kind of a bear, but it's also not that bad. Like, I have a process of how a meal plan, and it works for me. Do I have to still do it?

Yeah. But I don't have to figure it out every single time. You can actually listen to that episode. It's episode 245, how I personally meal plan. I feel good about that rhythm, right? I also feel good about the rhythms of my house. Even though, even though my house is not always tidy, y'all, we're in the middle of a renovation right now. Stuff is everywhere.

Now you can listen to that episode too, episode 254, chores I do every day. Like I have rhythms that work for me, even when things feel. a little more chaotic. It's not that I'm starting from scratch. Just because I'm entering a new season does not automatically mean everything that already works is going to fall apart or that it didn't even exist in the first place. So I separate those existing rhythms from all the other season-specific things and I do a quick assessment of those rhythms. What's working? Are any of those rhythms, like could they use an adjustment maybe based on what's happening this season. There's a chance for us that when I when I cook dinner, like in the time of day, that that's going to have to pivot a tiny bit

depending on cross-country carpal schedule. But also likely not by much and only one or two days a week. Now can I adjust an existing rhythm for cooking dinner in one small place based on that carpool? Yeah, I can. Do I need to build an entirely new way to meal plan and make dinner? Just because this season creates a slight shift? No, not at all. So look at your existing rhythms and embrace what is working. Now, if there is a system that needs to be adjusted, you can do that, but don't automatically start everything over. That is not how we do things here, nor does it work. Now, once I see rhythms that work, it helps me relax around the extra things. I'm not having to figure out my entire life all at once, right? I don't need to look at the season as like all of these things that I have to do. I just need to add some out of the ordinary things into a life that is already moving at our family's pace with our family's priorities.

So naming those existing rhythms, it makes the energy around the new things that are coming feel a lot more calm. Okay. So I separate the existing rhythms from the other stuff. Now I separate the other stuff from itself. There are several categories of other stuff. The first category is probably projects, okay? Projects, it's not just like, like tiling a bathroom or something. Projects are things with an end date that have lots of steps.

A project is not an item on your to-do list, people. I need you hear me. Stop putting projects on your to-do list. No, don't do that. So I will look at my calendar. I'll look at what's coming up and I'll mark the things that are a project or just write them down. Like this is a project.

I don't do anything with it yet. I just note what is a project. What is something that has like one goal, an end date and then like lots of steps to it? Next, I separate the events, okay? Events often come with like a couple of tasks, like getting a birthday gift or inviting the family over for the, you know, birthday celebration dinner or something. Again, I don't do anything with that yet. I just mark like, this is an event. And then finally, there are season specific things, like our fall opening ceremony, where we go to our pumpkin patch and corn maze or things like making Christmas cookies.

You know, basically there are a lot of things that matter a lot during this particular season, during the holiday season. And I don't want those things to fall through the cracks because life is just really busy, right? Okay. Now, here's what's next. And I use the holiday docket for this whole process, by the way, which will make sense in a second when I explain this next step. So I have all of these extra things, right?

Now I want to list them in the month that they're going to happen. I want to put them in their place. but I put them in their first place in the month that they're going to happen, which there's a page in the holiday docket that does this. There's like columns for months. So you can see the out of the ordinary things, those seasonal things, you can see them together in one place. So I can like write out all the things that are going to happen in October, for example. And I can notice that like, man, that column is about to tip over because October is full of things to do. If that's the case, I have to essentialize, right? I have to remove something that matters less to leave space and energy for what matters most.

I think busy seasons are really hard because of this very thing. We have a lot to do. We have a lot we want to do. And without intention around those things, we end up not being able to do what we love the most. Just because you have to say no to a certain event or project in this season, it doesn't mean it's never going to happen. it's just really important to be vigilant and protecting your time and what matters most during a busy season. And you can't do everything in every season. And that's okay. That's okay. Okay. So I put the things in there months so I can just sort of see like how things are spaced out just to get a sense of like how balanced the season is. Okay. And then this next and final step, it's really important. And one that I often overcomplicate. This step is really to continue putting everything in its place.

but the word everything is what trips me up. After I see where things live month to month, I want to break them down into smaller, more manageable pieces and then put those things in their place. Excellent. There's nothing wrong with that. However, I tend to take the word everything literally. For example, buying Christmas gifts for my family and friends,

it is a project with an end date and many, many steps involved, and technically it is coming. But I am currently living in the very beginning of September, and I don't really start thinking about gifts until mid-October at the earliest. I don't need to break that project down into little pieces yet. I don't need to do that. Even though I think I should, even though I think I need to break down every single project, nope.

It does not have to be part of my everything right now. I don't have to put everything in its place. I need to put everything that matters right now in its place. So for this final step of put everything in its place, note what everything really means. It is not literally every single piece of your entire busy season. It's just what's coming up next that matters. Be where you are. What is happening in September that you can break down into smaller pieces. And then towards the end of September, do this again for the next batch of projects, events, and season-specific things that might need

a breakdown. The reason this is so important, this particular step, is because, Because it takes invisible pressure off that I don't even think you realize you're carrying, for me, when I go through this process, I think that I will actually be in better shape if I have literally everything on the calendar or everything on a to-do list from now until the end of like 2023. But that really is not helpful. I don't need that. I said this on Instagram a week or so ago, but the future is fine without my attention right now.

It's all going to be fine. Now, I'm not saying it's bad if you want to break down your Christmas gift process right now. You can. But don't do it because you think it's going to give you more control. Only do it if you genuinely feel calmer by doing it. And that goes for anything. So in general, I just want you to pay attention to where you are and what's coming next. Not what's coming 10th.

Okay? this plays out for me beautifully because I can take this giant ball of busy season stress, right? It's all one thing. And I can breathe it out. I can remember what matters. And then I can notice that September is actually not that crazy. I mean, I do have a couple of events for work. I have a couple of birthdays. But those work events, they have already been broken down. And the pieces have been put into place in our team's project management app. There are a couple of birthdays, right? I can just write on my to-do list, like, decide the gift and buy the gift.

Those are two different things, by the way. Don't avoid making tasks so small that seems so obvious. Don't think that that's silly. Deciding what to get someone often takes a different energy than the action of getting it. Decisions and actions have different energies. So notice if your breakdowns have both. actions and decisions. And if it helps give them separate to-dos, it helps me. But as I look at this month and this month only, I see that everything is in its place. I see that everything is going to be

okay. I believe that I'm a competent person with like some decent existing systems and I can handle the busyness that is September without letting the anticipated busyness of the rest of the year color everything. My September things are in September. My October things are going to be in October. I don't need to worry so much about things that haven't happened yet. Be where you are. Good is here right now. We'll be right back. When you are putting things in their place, there are a couple of places to consider. Your to-do list is an obvious one. Another is your calendar, right? You can make something an event or a task on your paper planner or your digital calendar. another place that you might put something is in an opening or closing seasonal ceremony. If there is something that matters to you, adding it to a seasonal ceremony that already exists

or creating a new one so that it gets the attention it deserves in your life, that could be really beautiful. You can also add something to an existing routine or rhythm. Or you can give a task to someone else entirely, right? Putting a task in its place doesn't just mean on your to-do list. There are different places for your things. Okay, so to recap, here's how I handle a busy season. I freak out and I try and build a system before realizing that that will not work.

Cool, quote, quote. Then I look back so that the past can help inform where I am now. Next, I look ahead at what's coming up and what matters. I notice what existing rhythms I have that are working well and I stop myself from reinventing every wheel just because I have big busy energy. then I put PIN to paper and I name all that's coming, the projects, the events, the season specific things, separating those from each other since they have different requirements, right? And then I put the things, those big things, in a column of what month they're happening.

Again, this is all in the holiday docket, so that I can see how saturated a month might be and I might let go with some things that might be in the way of what matters most. and then I break down the projects and events that are coming the soonest, putting those tasks in their place, whether in my calendar, on my to-do list, in a seasonal ceremony, and an existing routine, or into the hands of someone else. All right, so two final thoughts. One, this process for fall specifically, like I just said, is already done for you in the holiday docket. The holiday Docket is the most adorable PDF with a guide to help you answer these questions for yourself and walk you through this process. It makes things work for you so you can enjoy your busy season

without drowning in it. We have been selling the holiday docket for several years now and it's one of the best resources I think we've ever made. People just love this thing and for good reason. And the good news is that even though it has calendars in it, they are undated. So you only have to buy it once instead of every year and you just print it out each year. There will be a link in the show notes to get the holiday docket, but I made it because I wanted to put this busy season process, especially for the fall with the holidays and all the things, on paper as a resource for y'all. It just really makes a huge difference. The second final thought is something I have to tell myself all the time, almost daily in a busy season. Trust that something is in its place.

trust that something is in its place. If you put something on a list or on your calendar or whatever, stop worrying about it so much. It's in its place now. For example, I am recording this episode the week before it comes out. So last week. And I leave shortly for Colorado to celebrate Brea McCoy's new cookbook, The Cook's Book. This week is also our first week back to school. So it has, you know, big new season energy.

Plus it is a shortened week. of that trip I'm taking. Well, I put the most essential work tasks on my to-do list for this week. I was feeling really, really stressed out about all that was coming, really between now and December. So I just focused on right now, and I put what needed to happen this week, this week. Okay? And then I put everything else for the rest of the month on future weekly lists in my, in my planer. Everything is in its place now, okay? Now, if I just look at this month, or especially the season, but even just this month as one big giant ball of stress. And I ignore that things are in their place.

I will stay feeling stressed. I want you to trust that something is in its place. I'm going to get it done because it's been placed in the best spot for it to happen. It's not going to be forgotten or ignored. It might not even really get pushed to a future week because I already did the work of kind of dividing things out to the week where they make the most sense. I just don't want you to open your calendar, like your Google calendar, and look at the month and just panic. When things are in place, you can see them without being stressed out by them.

Just look at today. And today, like, just do what is in place for today. And that's it. Tomorrow will happen tomorrow. You can't think ahead, of course. But start with today and trust that things are in their place. You're going to be okay. Remember, learning to pivot is more important than learning to pivot.

plan. This is also where I always remember when Laura Vandercam said to me on a podcast episode, your future self is not incompetent. So I leave you with those words. Your future self is not incompetent. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. One day at a time. Let's start with today. And that is how I handle a busy season. I mentioned a handful of really helpful episodes in this episode and all those links will be in the show notes along with a link to buy the holiday docket. It's so great. Also in the show notes will be a link to sign up for our biweekly newsletter, latest lazy listens. It is so fantastic. Over 10,000 of you get that email. And it is basically a, it's like a little podcast digest. We share summaries for the previous two weeks episodes. Put extra resource links in

there if you need them. We share the lazy genius of the week. There's also a little note from me of like reflection after the release of those two episodes. It's just a short, sweet, very robust little email. Also, Leah, our team's director of content and resident creative person on our team, she designed this email. And it's just like, it's just the cutest delightful addition to your inbox. So if you would like to sign up for that, go to the link in the show notes or go to the lazy genius collective.com slash listens. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week, it is Elizabeth Whitaker, who has this tip for kids with sports uniforms. Hi, Kendra. I have two boys who both play baseball and each has several uniforms. Last year, after

having the constant conversation of, where is my jersey? I made a rule. Uniforms and baseball socks never leave the laundry room. When you get home, you put the dirty uniform in the laundry room hamper. I put an old rack with pegs on the laundry room wall. And when I wash the uniform, it just goes right on a hook where the boys can see it. Now I don't have to search kids hampers for the right uniform to wash and the clean uniforms don't put away in the wrong place or stay hidden in a basket of clean laundry. Elizabeth, this is such a great idea and actually a really fantastic example of how to handle a busy season. Seasons have unique aspects that we have to add into what is already ordinary, things like sports uniforms. Like you're already doing laundry, but you have to wash a

specific kind of thing for that season, right? So instead of coming up with a new giant laundry system or a way to organize their rooms in a new way to keep, you know, whatever. It's just make a house rule. Just make a house rule. Said house rules is one of the 13 lazy genius principles, and this is an excellent use of it. Uniforms never leave the laundry room. Done deal. Dirty or clean.

That's where they stay. It's so good, right? Also, let's say that Elizabeth gets to next year's baseball season and feels the overwhelm of the busy, you know, that that is going to add, right? She looks back. She looks back at existing rhythms. is it something that already worked. And she sees that this worked for the unicorns, the uniforms.

And then even though it's still like a lot to coordinate practices and games and how homework and playing and all of those things will fit into the sports schedule, figuring out the uniform part, that's not going to be a problem. Let existing systems and rhythms serve you year after year. Okay. So thank you so much for sharing, Elizabeth. and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. Okay, y'all, that's it for today.

Thank you so much for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Do you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life

because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.