The Lazy Genius Podcast - #351 - How to Lazy Genius Your Whole Life

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

Let’s make one thing clear right off the bat. You can Lazy Genius your whole life, but you can’t do it all at once. But it is possible and even something I’d encourage you to pursue. Living with this mindset is a lifelong gift, so let’s jump into how to Lazy Genius your whole life.   Helpful Companion Links Episode #255: How to Name What Matters Episode #323: How to Lazy Genius a Big Change Episode #297: 5 Steps for More Ease at Work Episode #244: How to Choose the Right Lazy Genius Principle for You Episode #310: How to Pivot Around Any Obstacle Sign up for the Latest Lazy Letter email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, you are listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 351, How to Lazy Genius Your Whole Life. Let's make one thing clear right off the bat. You can lazy genius your whole life. You can, but you can't do it all at once. If you've been around here a while, you're like, Kendra, what's this whole life business? That's not a thing you've taught us that. you're right. It's not a thing all at once. And if you're new here and you're like, Kendra, this is so fun, this lazy genius my whole life. It's not all at once. But it is possible. And even something I would encourage you to pursue living with this mindset is a lifelong gift. So let's jump into how to lazy genius your whole life. I like to think of being a lazy genius as like riding a bike. Once you learn to ride a bike, the saying goes, you kind of always know how to do it. Not only that, the basic ability of knowing how to ride a bike equips you to navigate different kinds of roads easier. So sometimes the road is smooth and paved, sometimes it's rocky,

hilly, it's a mountain bike trail. Regardless of the road, though, the basic act is the same. And you can learn to navigate different paths the more you ride. This analogy, it works fairly well with lazy genius in your whole life. So even though I have not personally ridden a bike in, I think, decades, we're going to ride, no pun intended, this analogy as far as we can. All right. So what is the basic motion of lazy geniusing your whole life? What's the foundational practice that helps you navigate all kinds of roads? Basically, like, what's the pedaling and the balancing part? This essential to riding a bike. It's naming what matters in your season with kindness. Name what matters in your season and do it with kindness. Respect what needs to be done and also respect your humanity

when you're doing it. If you do not start there, if you don't begin kindly with what matters to you in this current season, you will not get very far. It's like getting decked out in gear to go on, you know, like a mountain biking trail when you don't know how to pedal. Similarly, none of your systems or tools or hacks or tips will get you very far in lazy genius in your life if you don't pursue the basic practice of naming what matters in your season with kindness. And thankfully, just like riding a bike, the more you do that, the more natural it becomes. So that's where we start. If you want a lazy genius your whole life, start by simply naming what matters. in your season with kindness whenever possible. Get comfortable there. Every instance builds on itself.

Now, if you struggle knowing what matters, especially if you are new here or if you're in a season of life that's muddied the waters a bit of what matters, like parenthood or a lot of big changes at once, listen to episode 255, how to name what matters. It'll help you if you haven't done this before or if you're out of practice. Okay. So now that we generally know the foundational principle, of lazy genius in your whole life, of naming what matters in your season with kindness, what comes next? Now, you likely have a lot of things in your life that you would like to apply a lazy genius lens to. How do you triage those things? How do you know what principle to choose and what scenario? When is it good to use the five-step lazy genius method or just like pick one principle

at a time? How do you know when you've gone from kindly managing your life to trying to control it? life has lots of layers and knowing how to lazy genius every single one of them at once is tough. I understand that it can sometimes feel overwhelming. Like how do you choose? How do you do this? How do you lazy genius your whole life? Especially if you're the kind of person who wants to get it right. So basically the lazy genius principles, the mindsets we talk about here, the different pathways that I've helped lay out for you over 350 episodes, it can be a lot to see comprehensively.

without a little help. And today you get that help. So I'm super excited about that. If you imagine getting on your lazy genius bike, all right, I think that there are three main roads or paths that you might be riding on. Okay. They're roads that you're on intentionally. They're purposeful destinations. We're going to call these proactive roads. Okay. So these three proactive roads are moving towards a big change, transitioning into a new season, and wanting something to be different. So moving towards a big change, transitioning into a new season, and wanting something to be different. Those are all proactive paths to lazy genusing something, right? You're thinking about this thing, this big change, this new season, or this thing you want to be

different. You're thinking about it ahead of time, proactively. Make sense? Now, on any of those paths, you're going to have moments where you're avoiding a crash. That's lazy genusing something reactively. You're responding to an obstacle in the moment. You see the difference? So it's proactive and reactive. We're going to come back to reactively lazy genusing something. First, let's break down the three proactive paths. So the first path is moving towards a big change. You're getting a new job, moving to a new home, having a baby, a kid is graduating and moving out, a parent is moving in with you, you're moving to a new city, starting a business, getting married. There are a lot of big changes in our lives.

And they're usually fairly easy to mark. You know, they're coming, right? It's an anticipated big change. Unfortunately, part of that anticipation might include feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes a big change, it makes us feel like everything needs to change. And frankly, sometimes a lot has to. If you're moving to another city, for example, your home, your job, your mode of transportation, your friends, your grocery store, like all of those things are probably changing. So be kind to yourself as you experience that overwhelmed because it's very normal. It's very normal. Remember, you're not a robot. But when you know that you're on the path of moving towards a big change.

How can you lazy genius that particular thing? Okay. So there are four principles of a big change. One, you don't have to wrap your head around every part of this. Two, you don't have to anticipate every need. Three, you don't need to expect everything to be smooth all the time. And four, you don't have to have all the answers right now. Episode 323 is called How to Lazy Genius a Big Change.

And it breaks these four principles down even more. And then it also offers two questions that you can ask yourself as you move forward. But ultimately, lazy genusing a big change is not a nuts and bolts problem to solve. It's too big for that. You know, you can't apply a single principle to a big change and call it done. Instead, the way you lazy genius. a big change is to remember these principles and be kind to yourself in the process. Name what matters and live in your season. So that's the first path moving towards a big change. Again,

episode 320 is a huge help in that area if you need it. The second proactive path you might be writing your lazy genius bike on is transitioning into a new season. It could be an actual new weather season, you know, like spring, summer, fall, winter. It could be a season of travel baseball for a kid, a season where you're being trained in your new job, a season where money is tight and you have to adjust, a season where everyone in your house keeps getting sick, a season of having little kids at home and never feeling like anything is ever done. Remember that lazy geniusing something, especially a new season, is not about controlling it. It's not about managing every single component so you can have full control and no problems ever.

That is an unreasonable expectation and also one that will leave you tired and disappointed and quite possibly rather mean. The point of all this is to help you know what matters, know what doesn't, and make wise decisions about how you spend your time and energy, all while remaining grounded and feeling like yourself. So in the start of a new season or even a season that you've been in for a little while, but you haven't really named it yet, you're like, oh, wait, this is a new season of life. Interesting. I think that this is a perfect place to use the lazy genius method. So the lazy genius method is a five-step process that helps you see where you are and manage the pieces and parts of whatever the situation is with intention and kindness. I use the lazy genius method all the time as a structure for episodes. It really does help you lazy genius anything. So the five steps are one, prioritize or name what matters. Everything begins with what matters, right? So name what matters in your season and do it with kindness. Step two, essentialize or get rid of what's in the way. You know, only keep the essentials. This idea of essentialism was first coined by Greg McEwen in the sphere of business.

But it's a beautiful principle to pull into regular life too. Have only what you need and get rid of what's in the way. Step three, organize or put everything in its place. Don't organize before you essentialize or you'll be organizing things you don't need. Step four, personalize or feel like yourself. And step five, systemize or stay in a flow. Okay, so prioritize, essentialize, organize, personalized, personalized, systemize. So when you move into a new season and you walk through these five steps, your season will

absolutely feel better. People message me daily with proof of this, naming what matters in your season and then actively seeing what you can let go, what needs to be in place, where you can feel like yourself and how you can keep it all in a flow, it makes any season, even a super tough one, more manageable. And even if that management is about simply being present enough to see that good is here right now, just as you survive doing the basics. That's still living in a really grounded, wholehearted way. So lazy genius, your new seasons. You'll know what to say no to, what routines or rhythms mean the most, when and how to spend your energy. And you also live in the freedom that this season won't last forever. You're here now and that matters. But no season is

forever. You know, seasons by nature, they come and go. And the more, elasticity that you give your life, the more content you'll be where you are, and the more empowered you'll be to get your stuff done. Because you're mostly doing what matters to you the most in this season. Okay. So that's the second path, the path of transitioning to a new season. And the lazy genius method is a fantastic tool to use here. Now, if you would like to see this method in action, you can check out episode 297, five steps for more ease at work. If you're here from the office ladies, this is one of Angela's favorite episodes. It's really practical in helping you think about more ease at work, especially if you're

trying to get back into the swing of things after a busy holiday season or something. But it's also a great example of how the lazy genius method can be applied to a specific situation because those five steps for more ease at work are the five steps of the lazy genius method. Okay. So you could be on the path of moving towards a big change, the path of transitioning to a new season or the third path, wanting something to be different. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso.

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It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcast. I think this is where many of us live, like kind of all the time. There's always something in our

lives that we want to be different. It could be something intangible like our mood in the mornings or something super tangible like where you store your shoes. At the end of our episodes, we highlight a lazy genius of the week and those folks are often addressing something small in their lives that they wanted to be different. And as you know from those folks, as well as from 350-ish episodes and from your own life. There are a multitude of scenarios that you would like to be different and then another multitude of how you might do it. So what do you do? If you are on the path of wanting something to be different, you might not know where to begin. Your first job is to again name what matters in your season with kindness. Then, then notice what single difference

would help support what matters to you right now, and then make it smaller. Almost always, we start with challenges that are too big. Okay, let's say that you want your mornings to be different for whatever reason. They're just stressful for whatever reason. But if that's where you stop, that is too big, right? Why do you want your mornings to be different? Is there too much to do in the mornings? Is it your mood?

Is it that you always feel like you're running late? It could be that you're just so tired of having to drag your teenager out of bed to go to school. If you try and impact the general broad problem of your morning, you're not going to get anywhere. But if you make it smaller, you will get closer to solving a problem. So let's say it is your teenager. Like you think about it and you're like, man, I'm just trying to get my teenager out of bed and that is making me crazy. Okay. So what is the smaller problem here?

Even from there you can make this smaller. Do you need to figure out how to actually get the kid out of bed? Is it that you're doing it and no one else is helping you? You know, like you're the adult that's in charge of this and you're not getting help from your partner? Is it that the scrambling to be a human snooze button is keeping you from doing what you need to do? Or maybe you have an unrealized expectation that like maybe this morning will be different, you know? And then when it's not, you get all huffy. So even the problem of getting the kid out of bed can be made smaller. Instead of, I'd like to make my mornings different. It's I'd like my response to my reluctant to get out of bed kid to be different. Does that make sense? If you want something to be different, first you have to make it smaller. And then I would encourage you to choose a lazy genius principle or two to help move you towards that difference. Because your problem is so small, a single principle can be applied pretty

easily. Now, there are many ways to choose your principle. You know, you could just choose, right? No rhyme or reason. You might already be familiar with them. Or you could read about the 13 lazy genus principles in my book, The Lazy Genius Way, or look at a quick list of them and pick one that sounds like it could work, you know, for your situation. Try one and just see what happens. But the longer you think like, a lazy genius, the longer that you keep riding that bike, the more familiar you'll become with the principles and be able to pretty accurately choose one that works for you. Now, you might also remember a past categorization of the principles out of order, out of rhythm, or out of sorts. When you're out of order, you need a quick win. You know, things are like literally out of order

and you're like, holy moly, we got to get this ship back, wherever ships get back to. So something like decide once or ask the magic question, right? When you're out of rhythm, you need the change to be repetitive and ideally a little easier, you know, like in a flow a bit more. That's where you can use principles like build the right routines or essentialize. And then out of sorts is when you are out of sorts and mentally overwhelmed. You know, you can't seem to, as they say, get it together. Here, you might utilize principles like schedule rest, let people in, and be kind to yourself.

There's also a pathway for the principles that would take way too long to explain here. But if you're new and you would like a deeper dive into not just the principles themselves, but how they can work together comprehensively, it's almost like a little lazy genius principal solar system. listen to episode 244, how to choose the right lazy genius principle for you. So those are the three proactive paths where you are lazy geniusing something, moving towards a big change, transitioning to a new season, and wanting something to be different. And sometimes you get all of them at once, which can be a bit of a bummer, if we're honest. But you will almost always be on at least one of those paths.

and you will also always hit obstacles, which is our segue to talking about lazy genusing something reactively. You know, you're on your bike, you're riding along, doing your thing on any of those paths, and then suddenly you're avoiding a crash, you know, a squirrel runs in front of you or something. That is real life. So when you need to lazy genus something reactively, that means you're in the moment, you're reacting to something that's just happened. You're running late for a work meeting. When your teenager texts you from school that he forgot part of his project that's due today, you have a plan for the week. And then your dad, who lives in town, breaks his foot. And you're scrambling to, you know, reorganize your time to help them out. You make a new recipe. And you can

tell halfway in that it is not a good recipe. And when you taste it, you almost spit it out because the marinade for the chicken is so aggressive with chili powder that you don't even know how you and your family will eat it and it's already 630. That did not happen to me last night at all. In order to lazy genius your whole life, I encourage you with all of my kind big sister energy to embrace the practice of reacting to obstacles and unexpected situations like a lazy genius. This is why one of our time management mindsets is that learning to pivot is more important than learning to plan. learning to pivot is more important than learning to plan. You can plan your life to the nth degree and there are tools out the wazoo for it.

But never ever does that plan happen according to plan. There's always something that goes off center a bit or a lot. And you have to react. You have to pivot. How do you do that? No one teaches us how to do that. Well, the full process is in episode 310, how to pivot around any obstacle. But here's the cereal box version.

You pivot around any obstacle by quickly going through. these steps. One, breathe. Deep breath, baby. Take a deep breath. You got to settle that body. Two, actively seek softness. The unexpected, it often makes us tense up, get mad, resent something or someone and, you know, lose our, you know what. Actively seek softness. Three, name what matters. We already talked about that and we can do that more easily in the moment. What matters right now in this moment. We can do that more easily. We can do that more easily. when we're calm and soft. Four, make the problem smaller.

We've already talked about that too, right? You see how all these practices, they work together in different ways? I love it so much. Five, put everything in its place. It could be expectations. It could be the spilled juice that needs to be wiped up off the floor

before it dries all sticky, but that's all that you can do. It could be an easier dinner plan since you now have to take your dad and has broken foot to the doctor, you know? Put everything in its place. six, stay connected to yourself. And seven, ask the magic question. What can you do now to possibly

prevent this obstacle from happening later? Sometimes nothing, sometimes nothing. But it's nice to ask in case something can. Again, that is literally like the shortest version of that episode ever. And it's a really good episode to listen to. So check out 310 if this is something you struggle doing. Okay, let's bring this all together. All right. You can, lazy genius your whole life. I hope that's the direction that you seek after because in my experience, it is a beautiful, grounded, dare I even say, efficient way to live. Like, shockingly, you can feel like yourself, still get your stuff done and not be swayed by your circumstances when you think like a lazy genius. And if you fall absolutely apart, you're also being a lazy genius because you're being

kind to yourself when that happens. There's system and soul, plans and pivots, calendars and compassion. You can hold all of them at the same time. You don't have to choose between being lazy and being a genius. Those used to be our only options, but I'm here to tell you they are not. You can hold them together and live your life, as Brne Brown says, wholeheartedly. So as you're going about your day, remember the basics of this whole thing, the motion of simply peddling that bike. Name what matters in your season with kindness. Just keep doing that. Name what matters in your season with kindness. Once that becomes easier to do and you, you know, metaphorically biked up and down your street over and over again, you've gotten comfortable there, you might be ready to venture out onto different roads.

The process of naming what matters in your season with kindness, it will help you no matter the road. In fact, it is essential, no matter the road. And what kinds of roads might you be on? The three proactive roads are moving towards a big change, transitioning to a new season, and wanting something to be different. For a big change, remember those principles of a big change, maybe get a refresher from episode 323, how to lazy genius a big change. For a new season, use the five steps of the lazy genius method. prioritize, essentialize, organize, personalize, and systemize. And for wanting something different, make your problem as small as you can and apply a lazy genius principle to it. If you need a

refresher on how to do that, again, try episode 244, how to choose the right lazy genius principle for you. And finally, as you are on these paths, you will absolutely hit obstacles. Things will make your big changes, your new seasons, and your daily rhythms wobble a bit. No worries. And Expect them. Expect the obstacles. They're going to happen. Learning to pivot is more important than learning to plan. And in those moments, remember those steps from episode 310, how to pivot around any obstacle. Honestly, if you only remember the first three, if you just breathe, actively seek softness and name what matters, you will be an amazing shape. Knowing where you are on the bike and on the path, it will help you see more clearly how to most wisely,

and kindly, lazy genius, whatever is in front of you. And again, just like riding a bike, the more you do it, the more natural it becomes. And that's how to lazy genius your whole life. Before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week, it's Amy Day. Amy sent this message into our lazy genius inbox at hello at the lazy genius collective.com. This is about planners. Okay. Amy writes, I always order my planner. in the summer and it runs from August to July. That way, I have the entire school year and all the summer camps in one place. I find it easier to move into a planner on a lazy summer day than trying to cram it into the most stressful week of the year, the week between Christmas and New Year's.

Side note, that's a helpful call for a lot of people. So file that away for when we're closer to summer. You know, if you were like, I should do a school year planner so I can transition this in the summer. but that's actually not the main thing about Amy's message that I wanted to share. Okay, Amy continues. My biggest magic question for my planner self is solved with a giant sticky note on the last page of the book. I leave myself notes for the entire year where I hid the special Christmas decorations, who needs new ski pants, where I stored the plastic Easter eggs, when baseball signups are, etc. All the little things that take 30 seconds to write down, but would take me three hours to figure out at the time I need them. And then when I get a new planner, I just put the information. I jotted down into the correct month and it saves my life every year. Isn't that great? It's like the tip from last week from Anna Joseph's, her next time note in her notes app,

you know? But since some of us are more analog in nature, I wanted to share this idea too because it might work even better for you. I love ways to do something now to make life easier later. The magic question is here to help us out again. So thank you for sharing this Amy. And congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. Okay, y'all, that's it for today. Just a reminder that this Wednesday, February 7th, our next latest lazy letter will go out. So if you'd like to sign up for that, please do. It is my monthly long-form newsletter, complete with stories, tips I'm trying, all the books I'm reading, all kinds of fun stuff. The response to this newsletter is always so positive, even overwhelmingly so.

People just really love getting this email, and I love writing it. So if you want to give it a try, go to the lazy genius collective.com slash join. It'll be in inboxes this Wednesday morning. All right, thanks so much for listening to the Lazy Genius podcast, enthusiastically part of the Office Ladies Network. Until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that.

More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.