The Lazy Genius Podcast - #362 - A Simple Strategy for Your To-Do List

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Y’all know I love helping us deal with our to-do lists. Life is full of things to do, and sometimes we feel buried in all that wants our attention. So today’s episode is a short and sweet look at one simple strategy that might make a ton of difference for you. Helpful Companion Links Pre-order my new book The PLAN or ask your library to consider carrying a copy once it releases in October. Episode #288: How to Make the Rest of 2022 Easier Episode #353: How to Plan a Project and Actually Finish It The Summer Docket Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the Power Move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate launch. The real Power Move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence, and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new Power Move. It's never too early to plan your service. summer story in Europe with WestJet, from rolling countryside to cobblestone streets. Begin your next chapter.

Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent. WestJet, where your story takes off. Hi there, you are listening to the Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 362, a simple strategy for your to-do list. y'all know i love helping us deal with all of our to-do list issues life is full of things to do and sometimes we feel buried and all that wants our attention so today's episode is a short and

sweet look at one simple strategy that might make a ton of difference for you first off let's set the foundation like we always do because before we start talking about what we can do it is important to identify how we see what we do we've got to figure out the why before we get to the how to-do lists are in essence a way for us to remember what we need to do and keep us on track in getting it done, right? Pretty simple. There are plenty of ways to maintain a to-do list. I'll go over some of those later in the episode. But the first big picture thing here is to remember that a to do list is a tool for us to use. It is not in charge. It is not the boss. It is not real outside of our own making. It's literally a piece of paper or like a digital piece of paper with mostly arbitrary,

often disconnected things waiting to be checked off. And we can get in the trap of treating the list like it is the boss, like we are at its mercy. And we are not. Now, of course, there are urgent things that we need to get done. But the to do list itself just needs to be taken down a couple notches. Like it's getting way too haughty over there thinking it runs the world. It has to have like color coordinated outfits and custom checkoff boxes all the time. It's just no. It's just a list of things to do. you don't forget them. It's a tool for you. Okay. Now next, I want to remind you that life is not about how much we can get done. Our goal is not to achieve everything possible day after day. Living is so much more than accomplishment. In fact, accomplishment, depending on what it is and what it

requires of us occasionally gets in the way of living. To do lists, they get us hung up on that accomplishment, on productivity in a way that might not serve us well on a regular basis. So as we talk about this simple strategy, I just want you to remember that. Remember that productivity is not the be all end all. It is not what runs our lives. Our lives are meant to be lived, not managed and completed and checked off like we're some kind of project. So with that is our foundation.

I want to share with you a simple strategy for your to do list that might help you feel less overwhelmed by what you have to do. have to and hope to. That's it. That's the simple strategy. Certain things you have to do, others you hope to do. Naming those two things and separating the two in a single list does a weird kind of alchemy to your to-do list that might really help you out. I know it does me. Okay, let's get into this. When you are making a to-do list for a certain stretch of time, okay, pay attention to what you have to do and what you hope to do. Now, the stretch of time is pretty important here. Without a boundary of time, most things might feel

like I have to. But maybe this week, they're not so much. Let's take paying bills as an example. I mean, you have to pay your bills in theory, right? If you don't pay them, you'll suffer some fairly dire consequences. It is definitely one of life's have-toes. But do you have to pay them this week? Not if they're not due for another two weeks. Maybe this week, there are, a hope to task because they're not yet urgent. Now next week, they become a have to, but because of the timing now, they can remain a hope to this week. You see what I mean? It's not just about the overall perception of the to-do list item itself. Whether it's a hope to or a have-to depends on the timing, on the season of life you're in, on the stretch of time your to-do list is meant for. Now, many

hope tos eventually turn into half-toes, right? Some things are necessary, but they are not yet urgent. They start out as a hope-to, but then they become a half-to. Now, I have said this before, but one of the most helpful things that you can do whenever possible is to tend to the necessary before it becomes urgent. Urgency is what makes us feel like we're drowning. Urgency is what makes our to-do lists feel like weights on our ankles. There's so much to do. do and there's so much to do right now. That is urgency. Have to's and hope tos separate what's urgent from what is necessary. They also help separate what is necessary from what is important. Some things are going to be deeply important to you because of what matters to you.

Someone else would look at your to do list and wonder why you have put paint for an hour, like, you know, pretty painting with paper, why that's on your list. Because that's not necessary and it's definitely not urgent, but is it important? To you it might be. To me it is. I love to paint. It makes me feel sane. So again, have to's and hope twos. They help us see our things in the right light. They help us see our tasks as necessary or urgent and also by what is important to us. Now, you can choose if something is important to you, right? It's your choice. You can choose if something like painting for an hour, is a have-to during a particular day or week or whatever time your to-do list captures.

Maybe you have been so busy and scattered in your brain that without some kind of creative outlet, you will dissolve. Nothing else will happen. So this week, maybe painting is a have-to. Maybe in other weeks, it's a hope-to. But if hope-toes consistently stay undone for too long, especially ones that make us feel like ourselves, they sometimes turn into have-to. because we haven't been tending to what is important.

Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sit. Play. Post. Taste. View and enjoy. Via rail, love the way.

Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder,

and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Now, let's look at how you might incorporate half-to's and hope-toes into your regular to-do list rhythm. I have shared a number of to-do list strategies on this podcast over the years, and that is for good reason,

depending on your season of life, your personality, your energy, your schedule, your executive functioning, and a million other things, we all need different time management and to-do list strategies from each other. And we also need different time management and to-do list strategies at different times in our own lives. In super busy seasons, I need to do a brain dump and then categorize all the things on that brain dump about six different ways to make sense of them all. And then I make my weekly to-do list from that chaos for a series of weeks, and then I might do the whole process again. That's in a busy season. Then there are other seasons where a quick reminder list on a sticky

note is all I need. Sometimes you might need to utilize strategies like now, soon, later, and never mind. That's an approach I shared in episode 288, how to make the rest of 2022 easier. That was a while ago for sure. But I'm pretty sure it's the first time I shared that, now, soon, later, never mind approach. it's essentially a way to categorize your to-do list by urgency. When you're not sure what is urgent, when everything feels urgent, assign urgency. Look at what is swirling around in your brain and assign at the proper urgency. Now, soon, later, never mind. Maybe you need to group your tasks together by what they are, things like errands, phone calls, chores,

so you can batch it and do them all at once. You can read more about batching in my first book, The Lazy Genius Way, and learn about all 13 lazy genius principles, not just batch it. Maybe you have finally noticed that you have a huge project written as a single item on your to do list, that you just keep moving from list to list week to week. And you know that you need to break that project down, right? We've learned from episode 353 how to plan a project and actually finish it, that you don't put a project on a to do list or too many pieces and parts, right? Again, those are a few approaches and there are many strategies in the world. And then a lot

that I have shared here on the podcast. So what makes hope tos and have tos different? When is that a strategy that is helpful to choose? I mean, the simple answer is whenever it resonates with you, you don't need particular guidelines from me to make it work. If separating your list that way, you know, no matter how much time your list is capturing, if that seems helpful to you, then do it. But if you would like a little more guidance, here's how you might utilize hope twos and have-toes. One spot is to use this strategy at the start of a new season, right? You're looking ahead to an upcoming season, whether it's a season on the calendar like summer, or a season of life, like starting a new job. In those times, it is really normal to feel overwhelmed by all there is to do. You are seeing a giant

expanse of time before you, and you know there are so many things happening within that expanse. And you think that the way to feel more in control over that expanse in this new season is to organize as much as you can. And how do we keep things organized and get our stuff done with to-do lists? Okay. First, a quick reminder that a great to-do list is not meant to help you feel more in control of your life. We have far less control over our lives than we think we do. but you can use a to-do list to help you remain yourself, to remain human and remain kind and remain focused on the things that matter to you in this season.

If that is your posture and your purpose, you will more easily get your stuff done probably. But let's go back to the list. At the start of a new season, you might do a brain dump and write down all the things on your mind for this upcoming season, all the things that are overwhelming you, that need a plan that you would really like to make happen. And you make one big seasonal list, almost like a seasonal cue, a to-do queue, okay? From there, you might find a lot of comfort in separating the have-to's from the hope-toes. A half-to is buying plane tickets for the trip you're taking.

A hope-to is having the fridge cleaned out before you leave, right? go ahead and separate the two types of tasks and you'll feel more freedom if and when you cannot get the entire list done. Focus on completing the half-toes and don't get too bog down in the abject failure of not getting to the hope-toes. You hoped to and you didn't. That's okay. That's why they're hope-toes. Another place you might utilize have-toes and hope-toes is when you're in a busy week with a lot to do and you're not sure how you're going to get it all done. Have tos and hope twos create a natural triage in how you decide what to do. If you have to do it, you have to do it. Get it done first, right? Pay the bills by the due date that's this week. Get pants that fit your

kid for their band concert on Friday. Turn in the marketing pitch to your boss by the deadline this week. What absolutely has to be done? Now, in a busy week, hope twos can be super helpful. And you get to decide if something is a have to or a hope to. Now, in a busy week, putting away the laundry, you might move it to a hope to. I mean, sure, the stack has been sitting on the edge of your bed for days and days, but it can wait a little longer, especially in light of all the have-toes on this list. But then there are times, maybe when something that has been a hope to for a while suddenly has to move to a half-to.

If you look at that stack of laundry one more day, you're going to lose it. It's like an emotional have to. That's what I mean when I say you get to decide. You're the only one who really knows if your task is a have to or a hope to. But the point of the distinction is freedom. It is permission. It's helping you let something go until a later date so that you can clear the decks a little and get the most urgent things done.

I also love using have tos and hope tos. When I get all dreamy and start thinking about things that I might want to do or experience or learn or change, I think it's easy for our future dreams to become have tos. We have been told for a long time that we have to have big dreams. If we don't know what our dreams are, then we're not dreaming enough or definitely not dreaming big enough yet. I just don't think that's true personally. A contented life is a beautiful thing.

But because of cultural messages we've been getting over the last 10 to 20 years, especially, it's easy for us to feel like anything that we dream up, we have to do. We're not being faithful to something if we let a dream fade or whatever. Now, that might be true of you. You know, again, only you can know what is I have to and a hope to. But I find that putting fun ideas and future plans and dreams in a hope to category, at least at first, it makes them lighter. It makes them feel more accessible than making them have-toes.

I like hope better than I like should. So maybe you'll find freedom in using have-toes and hope-toes when you start to dream. Okay, let me share how I do this. This is my personal process of using have-toes and hope-tos, and I do it pretty much every week. So usually on Sundays, I make one big brain dump list either from scratch, or I look at my seasonal to-do queue to see what I have going on, right? But I have pretty much one big single list. Then based on what is on that list, what I notice about how it can be grouped together, I will rewrite each entry from that one big list into a new list. That's a category. It's a new

category. Those categories are usually calls, I do still make phone calls, calls, errands, emails, big tasks, little tasks, and then even those are often divided into work and not work. But really, it's whatever the week requires, right? But then in each of those sections, the errands calls big tasks, what have you, each of those are divided in half into have tos and hope twos. So these are the calls I have to make this week and these are the ones I hope I can get to. These are the errands I have to run this week and these are the ones I hope to get to. I basically break my giant to do list into like six to ten tiny ones broken up in whatever way makes sense, usually in some kind of batch, and then usually those are split into have to and hope to. It makes everything smaller and feel

so much lighter. Right now it's the end of April and I'm about to enter the season of Crazy May. I really prioritize making this podcast relevant to everyone, not just to parents. And I know that a lot of you listening do not have kids or your crazy May is crazy for different reasons than kids. But for me, and I think a lot of you who do have kids, May is crazy because of the children. I have three kids. And over the next few weeks, they all have so many concerts and plays and class parties and all the things.

They also have things they need for those concerts and plays and parties, right? Basically, there is a lot to do in this short, upcoming. season of May in our family. And it is a fantastic time for me to use half-toes and hope-toes in my to-do list. Some things have to get done this week and others, they can wait until next week. Now, if I get it done now, that's great. Like, I hope to get it done now, but I'm not going to run myself ragged getting everything done when not everything has to. Not everything has to get done yet, have to's and hope twos are so simple, but so helpful. So whether you have a busy season, a busy week, or a busy mind even, see if this simple

strategy of dividing your tasks into have tos and hope twos and whatever time frame you're looking at will add a little lightness and ease to your schedule. And that is a simple strategy for your to-do list. A great way to start thinking about your have-toes and hope-toes for this upcoming season is to check out segue the summer docket. The summer docket is a digital resource we have available every time at this year and it is now available in our digital store. You can click the link in the show notes or you can go to the lazy genius collective.com slash store to get yours. It's like the holiday docket but for the summer season, helping you kind of get your head around all that's going on

and enjoy a fun summer without being overwhelmed by it. And even though it's still April, May will mentally be over in three days. And I love thinking about an upcoming season before I'm overwhelmed by it. So if that is you, check out the summer docket. Again, that's the lazy genius collective.com slash store. Before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week, it's Danny Washburn. Danny writes this.

summer slash spring is toes out season and i have nail color picking anxiety i decided last summer that what mattered most was that my toes were painted i didn't care about the color matching my hands or outfit so i started picking my annual color for toes last year was white this year i've selected a cute nude and i will wear this color until it's boot season this means i get to look at my toes and feel put together no matter what because they're painted, which is what matters to me. This is such a great idea, Danny, and this is, it's actually super relevant for right now. It's a fun example of how you can have a kind of a cool take on have-toes and hope-toes. For Danny, it matters to her to have her toes painted, just painted.

You could say that that's a have-to. She has to have her toes painted for her. But the hope to is if it matches something, right? that's kind of fun, but it's not necessary. So this distinction, this super simple distinction of making the choice and task of painting her nails, it makes it so much lighter, right? Because she can just paint them one color, done. That is the have to.

And the hope to can just be there. It's so great. So thank you for sharing this tip, Danny. And congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kinsey. The Lazy Genius podcast is enthusiastically part of the Office Ladies Network. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production.

Thank you guys for listening today. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.