The Lazy Genius Podcast - #366 - Twenty Helpful Decisions I Keep Repeating

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

My first book The Lazy Genius Way introduces 13 Lazy Genius principles that help you name what matters, ditch what doesn’t, and get stuff done. The first of those principles is Decide Once. Decide Once means you make one decision about one thing and you keep making that decision over and over until it doesn’t work for you anymore. Today, I’m sharing 20 decisions I keep repeating. Helpful Companion Links Pre-order my new book The PLAN or ask your library to consider carrying a copy once it releases in October. Episode #84: The Lazy Genius Guide to Lunch Planetbox Rover Lunchbox Genius Square or Genius Star Slime Making Kit Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip. Play. Post. Taste. View and enjoy. Via rail, love the way. Hey there. You are listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 366. 20 helpful decisions. I can't. keep repeating. You are likely quite familiar with my first book, The Lazy Genius Way, which teaches 13 lazy genius principles that help you name what matters, ditch what doesn't, and get stuff done. The first and possibly, possibly most popular of those 13 lazy genius principles is decide once. Decide once means you make one decision about one

thing, one time, and then you keep making that decision over and over until it doesn't work for you anymore. Today I am sharing 20 of my decide oncees. Have we made that a phrase now? Decide Ones. These are 20 decisions. I keep repeating. I've broken them down into four sections, food, kids, money, and personal. There are coincidentally five decisions in each category, making 20. And I've been doing a lot of these for quite some time, some for literal years. So let's walk through them together. Now, the point of this is not for you to copy what I do. I mean, you certainly can, if it makes sense for your life. But this episode is more about showing you the value of deciding once, of having things that

you no longer have to think about or spend energy on because you've already decided them. Hopefully this episode will give you some specific ideas, but also just encouragement to think about where you might need another helpful decision. Okay, we'll go through the categories in the order. I listed them. So let's start with food. Helpful food decision number one. We eat from a dinner queue only.

Okay. What is a dinner queue? It is a way to make the choice of what you eat for dinner easier. You could have a breakfast queue or a lunch queue, but it's essentially a curated list of meals that work for you in your current season of life and maybe even season of the year. We have had the same general dinner queue for years. Years. Now, I occasionally get inspired by a new cookbook or a recipe that I find online and I try a new meal.

And if it works, it gets added to the dinner queue. But when a meal plan every single week, that cue is written on the dry erase calendar where I put my meals. And so when I'm choosing what we're going to eat, I don't have to decide where I'm deciding my meals come from, right? The queue is there waiting for me every time. I love it. Okay. Helpful food decision number two. I plan food for the week on Sundays.

Does this have to shift occasionally? Of course. but the default decision is that on Sundays when I'm planning out my week in general, I also plan meals. I look at the weather, the calendar, and the dinner queue I already mentioned, and I write down dinners. The way that I do this and the details that I consider might change season to season or even week to week, but Sunday is the day for me. Now, if I miss Sunday for some energetic or logistical reason, I have a bonus decide once that covers the miss. And that bonus decide once is pasta Mondays.

We have pasta every Monday and have for so many years. It's nuts. I need Mondays to be easy and pasta is easy. But if I also don't get around to the weekly meal plan on Sunday, I don't have to stress about Monday's dinner because I already know we're having either spaghetti, stroganoff, frozen tortellini, or bolognese every single time. I can quickly know which of those to choose based on my energy, my time, and the ingredients we have. So even if I don't plan on Sunday, which is rare because it's just part of my rhythm now,

but even if I don't, I can just do it on Monday without too much hassle of figuring out what the dinner is on Monday because of pasta Mondays. Okay. Helpful food decision number three. One of the easiest ways I weekly meal plan is that I let each kid choose a meal. I have three kids and I let them I'll choose one. Do they often pick the same thing? Yes, they do. Am I okay with that? Also, yes. My middle kid, he usually chooses like from a selection of meals. I'm sometimes really surprised by his answers actually. The oldest and the youngest, they're pretty straightforward. Spaghetti for Sam and nachos for Annie every single time.

But Ben, my middle kid, he dislikes both of those. So on certain weeks, like this one, for example, I let the kids pick, but I asked them if they would choose something that we haven't had in a while or that they haven't chosen in a while. Now, if they get weird about it, I'm just like, well, that's fine. You don't have to choose anything. I will happily fill in the week myself. Just wanted to give you the option if you wanted it. No drama. And usually they would rather pick something they kind of like over not picking anything at all and me picking it. But y'all, that's three dinners a week. Are you kidding me? Easiest decide once ever. And I'm not even making the actual choices. I'm just delegating it to them.

Again, this has been something I've done for years. food decision number four, frozen breakfast. I do not make breakfast during actual breakfast time. The only time I cook breakfast for real is when it's for dinner. Otherwise, the kids get whatever they want out of the pantry or most commonly the freezer. I make chocolate chip pumpkin bread, like the biggest pan you've ever seen. Every couple of weeks, I freeze the pieces and all three kids eat that for breakfast regularly. Now, when I make breakfast for dinner, it's usually pancakes and bacon and I make a million so that I can freeze the leftovers of it. those two. Plus, there's instant oatmeal and cereal. Ben will sometimes fry himself an egg.

I like calm mornings as much as I'm able to have them, as do my kids. And if there's a lot of cooking of the breakfast every day, calm is not our friend, not in our house at least. It might be in yours, but it's not an hour's. So frozen breakfast forever and ever, amen. And helpful food decision number five, our lunch formula. I have shared this before, probably a long time ago in the lunch episode, but we have a kid lunch formula that I've been using since my oldest was in preschool, and he's about to finish eighth grade. That's a long time. So we have used Planet Box, stainless steel lunchboxes for over a decade, and we still love them. In fact, the lunchboxes themselves, I'm pretty sure are the same over all these years. We haven't had to replace the actual

stainless steel box. We have replaced the kid's cloth covers. like the little cases with the handle, the carrying pouches or whatever, for like maybe once, maybe twice for each kid, just because their taste change, you know, because they picked out a design they liked and then a few years later they don't like that design anymore. But these lunchboxes have been the workhorses of our kitchen forever. The ones we have are broken into five different like bento style compartments. There's some that are three. I think there's one that's two, but ours are five.

So our lunch formula is the same hilariously, even when the kids eat lunch on a regular plate at home. Like this is just what they make for lunch. So there is a main protein like a sandwich or salami and a cheese stick or whatever. Then there are two fruits. I decided a while ago to not push vegetables and lunches, but do that in dinners instead. My kids have never been like snacking on raw veggie people. Frankly, neither am I. So with the exception of the like occasional, you know,

baby carrot stick, two fruits. Then the fourth main compartment gets a crunchy thing. That's what we call it. Crunchy things are crackers, pretzels, checks, mixed chips, you know, whatever. My oldest would eat a bag of chips a day. So we do limit those since his own eating breaks are broken in the chip department. Hilariously, is it a chip day? Is a common question in our house? Then there is this tiny compartment in the middle of the lunchbox where I'll put like chocolate chips or something. Sour Patch Kids or the perfectly sized chocolate covered marshmallow from Trader Joe's. And my kids call that a middle thing. Even when they're not using those boxes, a lunchtime dessert is called a middle thing.

Can I have a middle thing? It's hilarious. But that formula has worked for us for literal years and I will not stop it until it stops working. Okay, that's food. Planning for a dinner queue, Sunday weekly meal planning. Each kid gets to choose one meal a week, frozen breakfast and a kid lunch formula. Boom. Next category is kids. Now, these are actually a little bit more like home rhythms,

but since more than half of the humans in my home are kids, it makes sense that a lot of our rhythms are about them. But whether you have kids or not, finding rhythms for how you live and deciding how you can make that easier, you know, it might be helpful. So helpful kid decision, number one, tidy before screens. We've been doing this forever. Before my kids get screen time in the afternoons, they have to tidy what we call the L. which is like the rough L shape of our living room and kitchen, it's where 90% of our family life and therefore family mess happens. And I don't want to spend the time I have when the kids don't need me because they're

on their screens. I don't want to spend that time cleaning up the mess. No, thank you. We are a family and we share the load. So a tidy is what we do. It is so ingrained in my children that they often do it without being asked. Now, not always. Like, you know, don't get me wrong.

But they know. They're not surprised by it. unless they just like had a really long day and then they're annoyed with me. But for the most part, it's just what we do. It's great. All right. Helpful kid decision number two, homework before screens. That's easy enough.

But as a default, it's the decision, right? It's so helpful even for things that are kind of obvious to just decide this is what we do. Now, that doesn't mean that as soon as the kids get home, they start homework. I'm pretty sure I talk about this in the after school routine episode maybe. But like any routine, you're looking at it like a container. not a list, right? It's just these are the things we do during this time, not necessarily in this order. Homework is one of the things that happens in the afternoons, but it doesn't have to be first. However, it does need to happen before screen time. Okay, helpful kid decision number three,

books and reading are always a yes. Some of you could just use this for yourself. I actually use it for myself too. Maybe that's a family thing. Books and reading are always a yes. If a kid wants to read past his bedtime, the answer is yes. If a kid isn't a kid isn't, a store and wants to buy a book? The answer is yes. If a kid asked to go to the library, the answer is yes. Books and reading are a high priority in our house, and since two out of the three of my kids are not big readers, when they ask, I will say yes as fast as possible. Helpful kid decision number four. Each kid has a meal they clean up. This is a newer addition to our family rhythm, but it has worked so great. I got the idea from a friend of mine who

was sharing how she was approaching meal time cleanup. She has three kids too, where each kid gets a meal. And we've been using it ever since I heard it from her. Ben has breakfast. Annie has dinner. And Sam has the weekend since, you know, the kids are at school during lunch. Now, once we hit summer, we'll likely adjust a bit where each kid can for real take care of a meal. But it's been so easy and requires no decision making from me. The decision is already made. And helpful, Kid decision number five. They get clean at night. We have five people in our house and two showers. One of the showers is about to be under renovation because it does not function very well to be a shower that anyone prefers. That means everyone uses our primary shower that also did just get renovated and it's rad.

Everyone uses that shower. Now since that's the case and since our evening rhythms currently lend themselves to this, our kids always get clean at night, not in the morning. We also don't have to constantly ask or decide who's showering when because they even kind of go in the same order. Annie goes first, since she goes to bed first, Ben is next and Sam is last every night. And it's really great. Like there are no decisions to be made. This is the point, you guys. Praise me. So that's tidy before screens, homework before screens. Reading is always a yes. Each kid cleans up after a certain meal and then the kids get clean at night. Done.

Next up, let's look at five helpful money decisions and five helpful personal decisions. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe wonder and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Okay. These money decisions are not exactly money. And I really couldn't think of a good word.

It's kind of money. It's kind of giving contributions, gifts, that kind of thing. Maybe a better word is generosity. I don't know, but that feels kind of, I don't know if I like that description. It sounds like I'm saying like I'm so deeply generous, but I also care a lot about generosity. It's like a personal value. So maybe that is the right word. Either way, I have five helpful decisions in this category that I keep repeating. Yeah, we'll go with generosity. All right. So first helpful generosity decision, meal trains get chicken shwarma. Anytime I know I'm going to take a meal to someone for any reason at all, it's going to be chicken shwarma. If I don't have time to cook, I will get their favorite takeout. But if I'm going to cook, that's what it's going to be. The recipe is on my

website. It's a little bit of extra time just because of the components that I like to include. The chicken itself is so easy. But all those components are pretty brainless for me. Plus, I really enjoy the built-in incentive to make that meal for others so that I can make some for myself. So like I said, the chicken shwarma recipe is on my website. I serve it with yellow coconut rice, usually pickled onions, maybe pickle jalapeno, maybe lettuce and tomato for like a Greek salad thing. I might grill or saute vegetables if I have them. I might make homemade non if I have time or just like store bought pita pockets or something. If I don't, the things that I send along with the chicken, they all change. But the chicken itself is always kind of the centerpiece.

I like sending it because it's frigging delicious and because it's usually surprising for folks since that whole meal is really fresh and a lot of fun choose your own adventure components, you know. and I think a lot of meals that we tend to send understandably because they're simple are things that are like in the casserole category. And there's nothing wrong with that. I love a casserole. I just like to send something that's like maybe a different speed than people might usually be getting. A bonus decide once, by the way, that I have when I take a meal to someone is, I guess this is actually more of like a house rule, but I never send the food in any containers that need to be returned. I get those takeout containers that restaurants use for ingredient prep,

you know, those like round plastic containers. And I just replace them when I run out. You can get like a huge set for, you know, like 18 bucks or something. I also have like these little foil drip trays that are meant for grills, but they are perfectly sized to send hot food in, especially for like a smaller family or you can just do a couple. I don't know, it's easy. And then most stores have little disposable sauce cups with lids that are so great. I use them for our own lunches, but they're great for sending food to people, dressings, Setsiki, stuff like that. I mean, I got them in my Walmart grocery delivery.

Like, they're just there. So I love doing that. You don't have to return anything I send you. Okay. Second helpful generosity decision. When a school needs money, I give it. In the past, I tend to, I've just not been able to really volunteer for a lot of things, like with my own human self, chaperning field trips.

doing things in the classroom, at least up until this year. I've done a couple more things this year, just because I had the time and I really wanted to and it worked out great. But mostly, I don't volunteer. But when a teacher needs something in her classroom, like a thing or money, I get it. I get that thing. I donate money. I work supplies. I replace the pencil sharpener that broke. That's a way that we love to use the money that we have as a family. So my husband works in the public school system and all of our kids go to public schools. I know that public schools aren't for everybody, nor are they always equipped to help with specific educational and emotional needs for every kid. But as a default, we want to stay in the public school system

and make it work for our kids, and so far it has, and make it work for as many other kids as possible from the inside out. So giving money whenever a school needs it is one of the ways that we like to help. Helpful generosity decision number three. As a default, we don't sell our stuff. We give it away. this is an excellent place to remind everyone that these are not decisions that work for everyone. Here is why this one works for us. Like I already said, generosity is something we care a lot about as a family, partly because we were the beneficiaries of other people's generosity for years and years, but also our needs are met. And we would like to help meet other people's needs wherever we can. Making a choice different from that, like selling your stuff, like this is neutral,

guys. This is all absolutely neutral. Now, our choice is that we would rather give things away than try to make money on it. I'm a big believer in sunk costs that once you spend the money on something, like it's spent. And I honestly, it's an energy thing. I don't like spending my energy trying to figure out how to get that money back if I can or going through the thing of like, well, I don't want to be weird asking for this much money or should we, you know, da, know, like some people, that's totally fine and easy for them to do. It's just not an energy that I really want to, I want to have. So we just give things to people, to friends and family and neighbors. Even when we lend someone money, whether a little or a lot, we always have the posture of not getting

that money back. Not because we don't think the person will pay us back, but if someone forgets or whatever, that happens, right? We're not going to hold that over a person. Once something is given is truly given, no returns needed. I do feel a little weird sharing this one, to be honest, because I don't want it to sound like I'm trying to, I don't know, like toot our own generosity horn. We just care about this a lot. So we prioritize it in our life. Now, we make concessions in other places. We don't live extravagantly except when it comes to my shoe collection.

And we like being able to give people things that they might need that we have that we don't use as much or whatever without expecting anything in return. Okay, hopeful generosity decision. Number four, if I invite you to something, I'm going to pay. I mean, sure, there are situations where if, like, you're going to lunch with a friend and you both talked about it, you just, you know, pay for food or whatever, that's cool. But if I'm going to do something that costs money and I want to invite someone along, or if we're doing something as a family that costs money and we want to invite friends of our kids along or something,

we're going to pay. So if we invite you, we pay. Easy, peasy. Decision night. Helpful generosity decision number five. When it's time to get a kid a gift, like a, you know, a friend of a kid, we get that person either Genius Square, which is a game we love, or a slime making kit. You might have just gasped. A slime making kit, Kendra, are you serious? Listen, we've found the kit unicorn. This thing

has done so well. The recipe is great. And if you mix the slime and like, you know, a cheap plastic measuring cup pouring thing, like a liquid measuring cup, it is really easy to keep it out of everything. Annie and I look forward to making slime because of how good this kid is. I'm serious. So for like an artistic tactile kid, the slime kid is the gift. If not, Genius Square or Genius Star, if they're a little older since Star is a bit more challenging. That's what we get them. It's such a great game, you guys.

Both of those things are always winners. We'll put links in the show notes. And as always, just a reminder, this entire list of my decisions plus links, will be in the next edition of latest lazy listens, which is our biweekly email that summarizes the last two podcast episodes. So that's how they always are. It's just like a quick summary. And on episodes that are listy, like this one, they're all right there. It's pretty great. So you can sign up to get that email at the lazy genius collective.com slash listens. Okay, so that is meal trains, get shwarma. When a school needs money, we give it. We don't sell our

stuff, but we give it away instead. If we invite you. we're paying and kids get either Genius Square or a slime making kit for a gift. Okay, one final category, personal. Helpful personal decision number one, I don't feel guilty for having fun. Now that might sound weird, but also if you're a woman who is over the age of 30 or so, you might feel guilty for having fun, mostly because there are so many responsible things you should be doing. And honestly, I think this is sometimes a choice. It's a choice to ignore the cultural messages we have been getting for years that our productivity is king. That as women, our care for the other people in our lives is our main purpose.

Now, do I love caring for my family and my friends and my community? Even you guys, I genuinely do, genuinely. But I can care about that and also do things for myself without guilt. I can read in the middle of the day. I can draw while my husband clean. the kitchen or I can just leave the kitchen for later if I want. I can take trips with girlfriends. I can do things that are fun just because they are fun and not feel guilty for making that choice. It has honestly been one of the most transformative decisions I've made as an adult. I choose to not

feel guilty for having fun. Helpful personal decision number two. That's a current decision and I'll stop it when it no longer works for me. But right now when I draw or paint, which I do just for fun, I'm not doing anything except faces. If I'm drawing or painting, it is a face. I'm not doing landscapes or trees or flowers or anything except faces. I think sometimes we get stuck in a hobby because weirdly of all the options we have. So this simple decision that I'm just drawing faces right now, it has been so fulfilling and freeing and enjoyable.

I love it. Okay, helpful personal decision number three. I wash my face when Annie gets ready for bed. I've been doing this for a couple of years now, but rather than washing my face and doing my nighttime skincare right before I go to bed, I do it while Annie is taking a shower or bath in my bathroom. Before, when I would wait until, you know, like, okay, it's time to go to bed. I was too tired. I was too tired and annoyed that I would have to wash my face and do all the things.

And then I wouldn't do all the things that I wanted to do. Now, I do that hours before I actually go to bed, which even gives like the serums and stuff more time to do things. But more than that, I just do what matters to me, which is my skincare, but at a time when I am not rushing or forcing myself through it. I'm just waiting for Annie to get clean anyway. So I might as well wash my face while on there. Helpful personal decision number four.

I eat a real lunch during a real lunch break. Now this is definitely harder to do with tiny kids. And it was harder for me when I had tiny kids. So please hear me that this is not always a simple or even necessary decision for everyone, especially those of you home in the trenches with tiny humans. Lunch is often the crusts of a PB&J, right? That's just the nature of that season. But even when I got out of that season,

I was still metaphorically eating the crust of a PB&J. I wasn't really eating a meal. I was doing work while I ate. or I was eating super fast so that I could do the next thing on my list. Then a few years ago, my therapist, she was like, maybe you need to eat a real lunch and you need to have a real lunch break because you seem stressed out, Kendra. It took me a little bit of time to recognize the value of that. But now that I've been doing it for years, I never want to change.

My real lunch during a real lunch break where I seriously do not do anything productive, unless productive means making my way through another season of Sherlock. I just don't do it. Like, it's so glorious. Now, is it something that everyone has access to? No, of course not. And I didn't always either. But sometimes it's good to remember that something we had to do before, it might not be

what we have to do anymore. And finally, helpful personal decision number five, Fridays are sacred. Friday's my day off. And it's like a long lunch break. I have fun, I rest, I watch something, I read, I go to Goodwill and Piddle, it is truly a day off. And by day, I mean until about 2 o'clock when I need to get ready to go get Annie from school, that those days are truly sacred to me. Now, this is a great segue into teasing next week's episode.

Next week is our quarterly What Saving My Life episode, which we love, but I'm also recognizing that some of the things that regularly save my life or are consistently helpful decisions like taking Fridays off, they are going to go out the window once summer starts. Everyone will be in the house in a few weeks for, you know, 12, 11 weeks. That's how long summer break is because my kid counted the other day. Everyone is going to be in the house for 11 weeks. I won't get my lunch break or my Fridays in the same way for 11 weeks. And that's tough. Sometimes our helpful decisions, they go through little mini seasons of adjustment. And that's normal. So next week I'll talk about a little bit, along with this quarter's actual list of what is saving my life. So to recap the

helpful personal decisions, I do not, do not feel guilty for having fun. I draw faces when I want to draw. I wash my face when Annie gets ready for bed. I eat a real lunch during a real lunch break and Fridays are sacred. Those 20 helpful decisions, I keep repeating. They might not seem like much individually on their own. Like one decision is helpful and nice. But some, Sometimes we don't always see the benefit of a small choice, like a middle thing in a lunchbox. But when you start to decide once about things that matter in your life, you move from like a singular star to a constellation of decisions. And that constellation really creates a beautiful picture of a life that matters to you. So your decisions altogether, they can offer a tremendous amount of clarity and contentment in your life.

So I hope this episode encourages you to think about the decisions you've already made and maybe given you ideas for one or two things that would be helpful to add. And that's 20 helpful decisions. I keep repeating. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week it's Lois. No last name. Hi, Lois. Lois has a decide once for summer with little kids. How appropriate for this episode.

Lois writes, I realized we were turning down spontaneous invites to go swimming. because it was just too hard to get everyone ready and out the door in the morning with snacks, sunscreen, et cetera. The two most important things to me were saying yes to time with friends and avoiding sunburns. I decided that from now on, or at least until my kids could reliably help with applying sunscreen, we would all wear long-sleeves swimsuits or rash guards. I got distinctive, bright colors for the extra bonus of making it easy to spot my kids in a crowd. And this simple switch doesn't sound like much, but if you've ever tried to supervise and

sunscreen two little ones, you know it can be a hurdle. We started this when my kids were three and one, and now they are nine and seven, and we've added a baby to the mix. Our rule still holds and continues to be my golden example of how the lazy genius steps really can make things easier. This is such a great idea. When I know that some of you listening have as well, I love how thoughtful Lois was, though, and why she chose to do this, and how this one decision now running on six years has helped prioritize what matters most. This is what we mean. This is what we mean. This is so great, Lois. So thank you for sharing and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi,

Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kinsey. The Lazy Genius podcast is enthusiastically part of the Office Ladies Network. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. If you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life, it's so dangerous to live that more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way.

We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.