The Lazy Genius Podcast - # 367 - What’s Saving My Life Right Now

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

We do this episode every season, and I have seven things to share with you. But what do you do when things that normally save your life don’t work in a new season? I’m tackling that at the end of the episode today.   Helpful Companion Links Pre-order my new book The PLAN or ask your library to consider carrying a copy once it releases in October. Shark FlexStyle Air Styling & Drying System tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush in Paaarty Pink Queen Women’s Denim Classic Bib Overalls Episode #352: Office Hours with the Office Ladies Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please sit and sip. Play. Post. Taste. View and enjoy. Via Rail, love the way. Hi there. You're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 367. What's Saving My Life Rew? right now. We do these episodes every season and I have seven things to share with you today. But at the end, I also want to talk about what happens when things that normally save your life don't work in a new season. What do you do then? That'll be at the end. First, though, let's dive into this season's list. The first thing that is saving my life this season is a bigger coffee mug, which is going to

get right into the really serious stuff. I have one cup of coffee every morning because my brain does not need more caffeine than that. But I really love my cup of coffee. I do. I love it so much. I use no espresso coffee pods for the most part. And I do extra creamy oat milk or full fat oat milk depending on, but it's not, none of this like skin milk version of oat milk. No thank you. And maple syrup in my coffee because it's like the most delicious thing to me. I love it so much. I also put collagen powder in the milk before I heat the milk in the microwave because I have knees made of brittle glass and I need all the help I can get. All that to say, there is a lot that goes into my cup of coffee every morning, like literally, like many things. And I went through a period of severe frustration, relatively

speaking, trying to make all the stuff fit. I thought that I measured the milk to not overflow in the cup, but then turns out as I'm pouring in the, you know, the milk into the thing. I have to take several of those like non-enjoyable, really burny sips of coffee, you know, to get enough out of the mug so I can pour the rest of the milk in the cup. Or, you know, the amount of liquid in the cup, it's like a science experiment on surface tension. You know, I'm pouring the milk into the coffee so slowly and it's doming because I'm trying to fit it all.

Like, how full can I make it before it overflows? It's just, it was like a whole thing. And then one morning, I was just not in the mood, not in the mood. And I noticed my biggest coffee mug in the back of the cabinet. It is a winter holiday themed mug. It's like blush pink with a gingerbread house situation etched in white. It is not the mug I want to drink out of every morning aesthetically. But this particular morning, I thought, well, that thing is huge.

So let's just use that because I don't have the brain power. You guys, what a triumph that big mug was. Turns out, all I needed to solve this whole like, will everything fit inside my coffee mug situation was to get a bigger coffee mug? So I still drink out of the gingerbread house mug every morning because a big mug is more important than it being, you know, not being seasonal. But I am on the lookout for a non-Christmas mug that's the same size. So this is one of those perfect examples of how small change can make a big difference. So yeah, the first thing saving my life is a bigger coffee mug.

The second thing that's saving my life this season is a fancy hairdryor. All right. Now listen, does everyone need a fancy hair dryer? No. Does everyone wish to filter their limited funds into the, A fancy hairdryer direction. No, I didn't either for quite some time, but my hair daily gets on my nerves. Now, it is really healthy and it's cut well. And in general, like, I'm good with my hair. But really, it was the drying it after washing it that was just sheer chaos. And then sometimes, like, the

consequences of the drying would, you know, seep over into the following days. I have very fine hair. but a ton of it, a ton of it. Like so much show that when I go to get my haircut, my hairstyle is comments on how much hair I have. Every time I go in for a cut, it's like a bit we do now. Anyway, I have tried a couple of different hair drying approaches over the years. You know, we have like a standard hair dryer that I tend to use where my hair just like goes everywhere and gets in all those fairy knots and it's a whole thing. I've used one of those hairbrush wand hair dryers, but the one I had was like really bulky and it got super hot. it kind of felt like it was frying my hair. That was a whole thing. I've tried to use a round brush with a

hairdry, but that was unwieldy and also very slow. I had just given up on my, my, uh, freshly washed day one hair being anything but just stick straight, but also like a little frizzy at the same time because I just couldn't get the heat or the process of it right. I mean, you know, it was like, oh well, days two through four. Those are coming and there's, those are always better hair days. But then I saw someone using the shark flex style hair dryer online and I was like, whoa, that thing actually might work for me. And so I got it. And I'm obsessed.

I've had it for like a month and a half, maybe two months. I'm obsessed. It has levels of heat and levels of intensity of the airflow. There's three heat levels. And then one of them is just off. So really it's four heat levels and then three like airflow levels, intensity. And so there's way more control, which is so great for my hair. Plus, there are multiple attachments depending on, you know, how you want to dry your hair.

There's like a regular blow dryer part that is so well designed. It is so well designed and it does not send my hair all over the place. And yet it still somehow dries so much faster. It has two different. The one I got at least has two different wand attachments. One's like a round brush and another's like a flat brush. And then my favorite part, my favorite part of this whole thing, are these curly. attachments. They're the coolest things ever. You basically wrap your hair, like a strand of hair,

like you were curling your hair with a curling iron. You wrap a strand of your hair around the wand, like it's a curling iron, but it's actually a hair dryer. So it dries your wet hair into the shape of a curl. Now, because I have such fine hair that has to work really hard to hold a curl, those curls that come from the hairdriar, they really end up being waves. They don't stay curls, but that's actually what I want. That's great for me. Because usually all I want on the first day of, you know, freshly washed hair is just like a little bit of a wave. I can go in with a curling iron another day to get stronger curls.

That's fine. But for someone whose hair holds curl even better, it would be even more of a dream. So I love this hair dryer. Now, this is an excellent time to remind everyone that my list is not meant to be a prescriptive list. I want to make you feel bad about your hair dryer. This is a totally personal list. very personal entry to this list to show the value of small decisions, but also to show the value of things that you want to make matter. I'm 42 years old, and I have found drying my hair

deeply annoying my entire adult life. If I want to invest in a fancy hairdyer, I can. If you want to invest in something that matches up a particular frustration in your life, you can too. not everyone has to get on board or want to spend their money the same way, right? So just know I'm not like everyone should have a fancy hairdry. And also you should see some of the things in my life that are not fancy. But this is not a financial comparison situation here. We are just naming the things that we are interested in using that make the problems that we like are annoyed by on a daily basis better.

Can you tell I've gotten a couple of angry emails that say that I spend too much money on certain things, maybe a little. And that's okay. We all do, right? We all do. So the point is to be kind towards each other and that it not be a comparison thing. And when I tried this hairdraft for the first time, like I literally jumped up and down in my bathroom because of how happy I was. I do almost every time I drive my hair, I'm so happy. I'm so happy with this thing because the frustration I was having is no longer there. It is an absolute lifesaver right now and was totally worth it to me. So that was a mini TED Talk tucked inside. Number two with saving my life was my fancy hairdrier. Okay. The third thing that's saving my life right now is something I've

mentioned maybe once or twice before, I feel like, but it is blush from Tart, the brand Tart, T-A-R-T-E. Yeah. Particularly the shade party with several A's. So party. It is described on the website a rosy buff, and that's exactly how I use it. So I don't like wearing a ton of makeup, but I do like to feel alive, you know. I like a good rosy glow. So I will use a quick bit of coverage from either like a light coverage, liquid foundation or a powder or something. And then I'll put party, party on my cheeks and my brow line and my jaw line, like a

bronzer. And even though it's technically a blush, you know. Now, I don't know if it's the fact that we're moving into summer and my skin tone is changing colors like ever so slightly. But I am enjoying Tart's party as a bronzer more than the Gucci bronzer that I splurged on a while back and mentioned in another What's Saving My Life episode. Both are great. But Tart is significantly cheaper and has still lasted me in eternity as well. Plus, it really stays put. And I use it on my eyes most days too. Like it's, it's just been so great. It's been a wonderful like spring to summer easy makeup staple that has multiple uses.

I use it so many ways every single day. So that is tart, Amazonian clay, 12-hour blush. It is a winner. Now, again, the shade I use, one of the shades I use is party with many A's. But colors are personal, right? But the product itself, the product itself, highly, highly recommend. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art.

I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the science. of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. All right. The fourth thing that has been saving my life is my orange almond cake. I shared this recipe in a past, I think it was the latest lazy letter. I think I don't remember. We will put the recipe in the next latest latest. Lazy listens email if you would like to sign up for that. That's an email that goes out every other Friday.

But more than the recipe, I mean, the recipe's fantastic, but more than the recipe, what is saving my life is having a food that's so easy to make, so easy to make, positively delicious. I mean, that's a stunner. It lasts forever before it goes bad, which it doesn't really need to because it doesn't last that long, but still. And then it works for breakfast and snack. and a dessert. It is magical. And it's naturally gluten-free, which is super weird and

unnecessary in my own house. But like, I mean, that's rad, I suppose, because I can make it for people who legit are gluten-free. So it is my version of a tart de Santiago, which is a traditional Spanish cake made with eggs, sugar, and almond flour. You basically work the zest of a lemon and orange into the sugar, like with your fingers, and it turns like this really pale yellow color. It's like, I love citrus sugar. I just think there's something really magical about citrus sugar, but you work the zest into the sugar. Can you hear me making, showing you with my hands? And then you beat eggs into the citrus sugar, like just with a hand whisk.

Like you don't have to use a mixer. You just like mix them together until you're like, yeah, okay, that's pretty good. That's like sort of frothy, but even still, it's like not a big deal. and then you gently fold in almond flour, salt, and a little cinnamon. That's it. And then you pour it into a pie dish, like a sprayed pie dish. And then you bake it in the oven. You will be astonished at how delicious it is. It is astonishing. It's really filling. It's bright. It's sweet, but not overly sweet. It is just magical. So again, we will put the recipe in the next latest Lacey Listen's email. So if you have not heard about that email before, it's sweet. It's just magical. It's just magical. So again, we will put the recipe in the next latest Lacey listens email. So if you have not heard about that email before, it's It is our podcast summary email. It goes out every two weeks, every other Friday. It's a great email. It highlights the last two weeks of episodes, which is usually two episodes.

It shares the steps or the lists from those episodes if there are any. It has links to the things you might need. And it also includes the lazy genius of the week. And in the next one, we will put this recipe. So if you would like to get it, go to the lazy genius collective. com slash listens. Okay. The fifth thing that has been saving my life.

Life is apologies, apologies, particularly apologies to my children. I don't know if you've noticed, but it's May and May is legit bonkers. And when life is bonkers, I am generally closer to being unkind than I am to being kind. chaos requires me to be so much more intentional about things like breathing and accessing kindness. But I don't always enter that space very quickly or even willingly when things are kind of upside down. And then sometimes, like sometimes I just want to be annoyed. Sometimes that that's what I think is going to make me feel good. Now, it might make me feel good for like three seconds, but ultimately me not accessing breathing

and kindness and therefore reacting out of frustration to my children, it tends to do a lot more harm, right, than good. Now, fortunately, harm can be repaired, hence the apologies. I feel like I have done a lot of apologizing to my kids, especially the last few weeks. It's not their fault that their schools aren't releasing important dates for things at graduations and awards days and performances until almost the day it happens. It's not their fault. They have no control over the fact that my schedule right now is kind of in a constant state of upheaval, and yet I take it out on them.

Not like a gross way, but I definitely will be snappy or I'll sigh. Like they come home and they say, I have a music performance in two days at 10 in the morning. Sigh. But I don't want them to fill that sigh, right? I don't want that to hit them. It's too easy for them to interpret that sigh as frustration. towards them that coming to celebrate whatever their thing is is not important to me. Obviously, that's not true, but they don't know that. They don't know that. They just see me sighing.

They don't see who I'm actually frustrated at. Or they don't necessarily recognize that when we've been overstimulated for a while in a fire hose season of life, it can come out on their mother's face in weird ways. They don't know that that's actually what's happening. They just see that they told me about something they're doing and I sighed about it. That's not what I want. So lately, I have been doing a lot of apologizing, a lot of noticing how I come across to them in this busy season. And it's actually been quite lovely to see how beautiful relational repair is, even on the most mundane level. Okay, the sixth thing that's been saving my life right now is my small collection of summer overalls and short holes. Not every overall is created equal. And a lot of the ones that are

are pants that are actual overalls or jumpsuits or whatever you call them now they don't work as well in the summer because they're heavy i mean pants you're like okay but you know some of them the material is just like this is not a summer material well i got this one pant version um again i think it's called is it a romper i don't know what we call these things anymore but it's got straps on the shoulders and you need to wear a shirt under it whatever that is called i got this one style from free people I saw it literally everywhere online, and now they don't even sell them anymore. I can't even find it on the website. It's the weirdest thing, kind of devastating, actually, that I got them in two colors,

and I wear them constantly. I got it in like a lilac and then another dark purple, and I wear them all the time with like a white t-shirt underneath, all the time. I feel like people just see me coming. It's like here comes purple Kendra up the hill. So I also found a decent, knock off what looks like it could be like this free people pair at Walmart, but I have not tried them in person. It looks pretty close, but I did order a pair so that I'm not always purple.

And I will keep you posted on how they work if they do work, because they are significantly cheaper than the free people one, but we'll kind of see. And I will, if I do that, I'll do that in the listens and latest lazy listens. I will also link, this will be in the show notes too, to the denim. They're not overalls. They're short all. that I got from Walmart that I actually super love. They are, if you just want to look them up, they're the pink queen women's denim classic bib overalls. Pink queen women's denim classic bib overalls.

And they fit great on me. They're not too long, which is nice for my surprisingly short self. So I really do really love those. Okay, this one is less about the actual items because some clothes that fit on certain bodies don't work on everybody. Like, that's just the way it goes, just like with anything, right? So this is less about, like, you have to get these particular overalls or shortalls or whatever.

It's more about having a summer uniform, so to speak, that you know you're going to be emotionally and physically comfortable in. I feel like myself in almost any version of an overall or romper or jumpsuit or short all situation. I love a one-piece vibe. Knowing that, it allows me to limit my decisions when I'm looking for new pieces in a new season. And since I know I always feel comfortable in those one-piece things,

getting dressed is just easier too, you know? So again, if you'd like to see the actual items, at least one of them will be linked in the show notes. And then maybe I'll have the free people knockoff review by the time the next latest Lacey Listens goes out. If I get them and they're great, I'll link to those in the end. mail. Okay, and the final thing that's saving my life right now is drawing faces. You guys, I promise,

I'll eventually stop talking about this. But I don't know if I can adequately communicate how much joy and rest this hobby has brought me. I love it. I love it. So I love making art, but I'm definitely a beginner in all mediums, all of them. Sometimes I'll draw or paint something that I really love, but most of the time I'm just kind of moving colors around trying to calm my brain. And that's okay. Like, that's totally okay. Well, a few months ago, I decided once, right, that I would only draw faces. I mentioned that last week in the episode 20 helpful decisions.

I keep repeating. That was the only decision that was like newish on the list. But I had to include it because of how helpful it's been. So when I draw now, I only draw faces. And I cannot stop. I cannot stop. I draw a face almost every day. Like, I look forward to it.

I can feel it in my body when I have not been able to draw a face in a while. I'm going to take my sketchbook on my pencils to the pool this summer, man, so I can draw while my kids are swimming. Like, I'm unstoppable. Not only has it been helpful from a decision-making standpoint when I'm like, oh, I want to make something, I'm going to draw a face. But it's really been deeply impactful on a soul level, on a creative level, on just a human level, to do something that is for no other reason than my own enjoyment.

have no goals with my drawing. I just draw. I just draw my faces. And it is the best. It is absolutely saving my life right now. Okay. Now, let's talk about when things that consistently save your life suddenly have to take a break. For example, you might know that a couple of steady entries on my what's saving my life list are my lunch breaks during the week and my day off on Friday. Those are essential to me. I've not always been able to have them, but I have in recent years, last couple years and they're fantastic. Now, guess what? I'm not going to have those when the summer comes. They're going to be gone. They're going to be gone. My kids are home. They're going to be home. My house will rarely, if ever, be empty, at least with me in it, you know. I also won't even have a

consistent rhythm in the summer. We tend to have in our family three separate summers. June is when the kids are home, but my husband is still working. July is when he's home. And I have more flexibility. And so it feels like I'm working. working more. And then August is when the kids are still home, but my husband has to go back to work. He is a middle school counselor. So he basically gets about four to five weeks off in the middle of the summer. So it makes it so that our summer is not one type of thing. You know, we have three summers that kind of need three different approaches. Plus, even within those three summers, there's still isn't much of a consistent rhythm because of all the regular summer things that pop up on the calendar,

like camps and trips and stuff like that. So I really do love summer. I have to intentionally embrace what's good about it and enjoy it with a lot of thought and intention. But it's, it is a challenge for me emotionally and logistically to exist in the summer. I definitely don't have what I need in the summer. That's kind of automatic because what I had before during the school year was just built in because of the school year. That's gone in the summer. If I want to be alone or do something for myself by myself, I have to plan it. I have to make sure it happens in the summer because it's not going to happen on its own just because of the nature of it. That's the nature of certain seasons in general. What worked for us in one season and will

work again in that same season eventually. Simply do not work right now. So what are you doing when that happens? Okay. I got a little, I got a couple steps for us. So the first thing is, in your season. You don't have to blindly accept that things are different and then just deal with it or swallow it or white knuckle your way through it. That is not what living in your season means. It means naming whatever you're feeling about where you are, being present there, remembering that it won't always be this way and being compassionate towards yourself and other people as you figure out a way to stay a little bit more integrated during a tough season. When that is your posture, finding solutions.

for a season's challenge, it's much easier. So live in your season. It's one of the 13 lazy genius principles for a reason, hugely, hugely important. So that's the first thing, live in your season. Now, we're going to use another lazy genius principle. Go in the right order. Now, the right order for most of life's challenges is as follows. Three steps.

One, name what matters. Two, calm the crazy. and three, trust yourself with what comes next. When we name what matters, and then we focus our attention on calming or removing, whatever it is that's making us feel the most crazy around that thing, it's just so much easier to figure out what is next for us to do. And then the third lazy genius principle I want us to think about

because we're doing three here is to start small. Okay. So once you name what is likely next for you to do, start small in moving that direction. So the three principles we're working with here are live in your season, go in the right order and start small. Okay. So let's apply this to my own situation. So you can kind of see just the general process of this. Like I said, I am losing alone time for 11 weeks. And even that, as I say that, even that is a place where I need to stop myself. I said this before. I can't remember what episode. I think it was an office hours episode.

But so often we make our problem feel quite grand. We put words in there like always and never and all. We comically or dramatically make a sweeping statement about what we're dealing with. And that generalization is rarely accurate. Now, sometimes it is, but it's good to notice when we have big language about something. What I just said, I'm losing alone time for 11 weeks. That's big language. The more accurate statement is, I will temporarily lose my usual rhythmic alone time.

That is more accurate. It's also softer and a kinder version of, I'm losing alone time for 11 weeks, you know? You see that? See that difference? That kind of honesty and softness, it really helps set the stage of problem solving so much better. So that's the problem. I've named the problem. And you need to do that is you need to name the specific problem.

the smaller you make it, the easier it is to solve. Okay, so my problem is I am temporarily losing my current alone time rhythm. Okay. So what's the first principle we're applying here? Live in your season. Yes, I do want to do that. I want to enjoy this summer with my kids and with Kaas once he's off work. I want to willingly embrace the slowness and the chaos that summer brings,

even the complaints. You know, my kids can be resilient. my kids can be bored. They cannot always love whatever family activity we're doing. We will absolutely have those sticky, hangary moments of like getting home from the pool and everyone needs a shower, but someone scrape their knee in the gravel parking lot, and then someone else forgot their water bottle and someone else thought friends were going to be there and they weren't and they're still sad about it.

Like those are human moments that none of us should be surprised by. This season is not always going to be easy. In fact, for my personality and how I thrive, this season, won't be easy most of the time. It'll require a lot of presence and kindness and intention from me. But like we talked about two weeks ago in the How to Have an Easier May Sember episode, it is so important to tell ourselves the truth. And remember that we've done these busy times before, you know, I survived last summer and the summer before that, the summer before that. In fact, last summer, I really enjoyed last summer. And last summer was when we started our chaotic bathroom

renovation and when I was writing the plan my next book that comes out in October. I wrote it last summer. That summer was wild and super challenging. And I did it. I made it. And I actually think it was pretty good, you know. So tell yourself the truth. A challenging season always feels the hardest at the start. Well, maybe not always. But our imaginations work harder than reality sometimes in the beginning. So just remember that. Okay, so I'm going to live in my season. I'm going to try to remember that. Yes, please. Cool. Okay. The second principle we're applying here is we try to figure out a solution for my problem of temporary, temporarily not having my typical alone time. We're going to go in the right order, right? And we go in the right order by doing three things. Name what matters,

then calm the crazy and then trust yourself with what comes next. Okay, so let's name what matters. A few things matter. And sometimes you have to start with a few before you can get to the thing that might matter most. Okay. So a few things do matter. One, I want to make sure that I'm feeling like myself every day. Sometimes those moments are harder to find in a new season. I think probably especially at the start.

But I know I'm going to find my way there soon enough. You know, still I do want to feel like myself every day. And the things that will help that will vary from day to day. You know, it could be reading at the pool, eating my lunch on the front porch instead of inside of the house where the kids are watching their weird YouTube videos loudly. It could be going for a walk or going to bad early. You know, there are lots of things that could do this for me. But that is something that matters, is daily feeling like myself, not just a chaotic

mother. Okay. Let's see. Another thing that matters is that I can be alone for, let's say, a minimum. of like two hours a week. And when I say two hours, I mean two hours all at once, not like 10 minutes here or there. You know, I think something that will matter is to have a chunk of time each week where I am intentionally alone doing something.

Okay. So that's the second thing. Another thing that will matter is to have that time where I'm in my own house. I would really like to have some time alone in my own house for like two to three hours. Maybe not every week, but like every other week, at least once every three weeks. And then if I can squeeze in an extended time away alone, like a night in a hotel or an Airbnb or a quick weekend somewhere with a friend, like that would be super, super fantastic. I have this like random gift certificate to like a spa that someone gave me like over a year ago

that I still haven't used. It's like, Kendra, you have a free spa trip waiting for you. What are you doing, girl? You should take that thing. So maybe I'll do that this summer. I don't know. And so doing something away, you know, for an extended time, that would be really fantastic. Maybe in the middle of the summer to like, I don't know, you're doing it.

So those are the four things that matter to me. All versions of being alone. Daily feeling like myself, a weekly chunk of like two, we'll say three hours, push it to three hours, two to three hours where I can be able to be able to alone and then another two to three hour chunk every couple of weeks where I can be alone in my own house and then an extended time of being alone or with a friend or something sometime during the summer. Now of those four things, the thing that screams the loudest as being the most important of all of them is being alone in my house for a large chunk of time.

That fills me up like nothing else. And I get that on Fridays. I mean, I'm home in my house by myself working, but I'm working. I don't want to be home alone to work. I want to be home alone to draw and read and watch TV and just do whatever I want without anybody needing anything for me. So while all four of those things really do matter, and I will do what I can to make them work for me this summer, the thing that matters most is being in my house alone on a fairly regular basis. Okay. So next up in the process of going to be. going in the right order, right? Because we're still on our second principle,

the second step of the second principle, is calming the crazy. So the crazy is the kids. The crazy is the kids in the house. But let's look more specifically at that craziness and what might prevent me from doing what matters here, okay? Because you name what matters and then you calm the crazy.

The crazy, it's honestly less about the kids if I think about it, and it's really more about the logistics. If I simply block off three hours on a random Thursday and then I get to that morning and cause is like, okay, kids, let's load up and let's go somewhere so mom can be alone in the house. That is crazy making to me. Not that cause would do that, but that's the scenario. Why is that crazy making? Because inevitably a kid will whine. They're not going to want to go. They're going to beg to stay home. They're not going to come out of the room. And that chaos will actually make me

even more frustrated. So in order to calm that crazy of like getting everyone out of the house, the plan for them to go needs to be thoughtful and preemptive. It needs to be something that everyone is aware of well before it's time to get out of the house. You see that? So I am not carrying the emotional burden of the children being disappointed about something. Okay. So we're going in the right order by naming what matters, which is that I'm alone in the house a handful of times over the summer by myself. We call them the crazy by not making those times super spontaneous or forced. We're going to make them a little bit, you know, planned. And then next, the third step in going in the right order is I trust myself with whatever comes next. And I think the next step here

is to just sit down with cause and look at the calendar and mark off a couple of days that don't interfere with whatever else is going on and just start planning intentional things for the rest of the family to do so that they're away for a morning or an afternoon. I think we just need to have a conversation with the calendar. Okay, so let's recap because we have one more principle to apply. All right, because of the steps within steps here. The three lazy genius principles, I want you to think about when you are trying to adjust around something that usually saves your life, but cannot in this current season for whatever reason. It has to take a break, all right? There are three principles we're working with here. Live in your season.

Go in the right order, which we just did with those three steps of naming what matters, calming the crazy and trusting ourselves with what comes next. And then that final principle to remember here is to start small. Do you see how that's like the perfect way to end this? Because you've got all these big, big words and big thoughts, but you've moved into like, okay, I am going to trust myself with what comes next. How can I start small here? Now that I'm not. I'm going to trust myself. I know all these important things, what is the best way to start small? It's to text, for me, it's to text Cause and ask him if we can look at the calendar tonight. After that, it's brainstorm a couple of options that would be fun for the family to do. It could also be as simple

as knowing that Cause will just take everybody to the pool for an afternoon and I'm not going to go. You know, it doesn't have to be elaborate. But we start small by having the conversation. And then we do the next small thing. And then the next small thing. we're genuinely supporting what matters in this season. Does all that make sense? If you have something that usually saves your life and you're, you're about to put it on hold for the summer, go through this process, live in your season, think about what matters, call them the crazy, trust yourself with what comes next, and then start small and make it happen. It sounds simple in some ways and complicated in others, but this kind of compassionate, wise,

intention now, it will make an upcoming season a little easier to live inside of. And that is what's saving my life. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week it is Andrea Elias, Elias, Elias, Andrea writes, hi, Andrea, Andrea writes, hi, just listen to this week's episode and one thing I've done to limit the piles of clothes in my bedroom is to put over-the-door hooks on my closet doors for the not dirty but don't want them in the closet or hamper clothes. This gets them off the floor, but still visible for me when I want to wear them. Short and sweet, super helpful. If y'all remember, I'm pretty sure that this is the episode that Andrea responded to, but we

did an episode, it was an office hours episode a while back with the office ladies with Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. And Angela really struggled with all her piles of like mid-life clothes, you know. Are they clean or are they dirty? I don't know. Well, Angela loves a basket. So we talked about containing those clothes in baskets, and that has been working for her. But if you don't love a basket as much as Angela does, or you don't quite have the space for baskets, because they can take a space.

And over the closet hook, it might just be the thing to solve this problem if solving the problem matters to you. So thank you for sharing, Andrea, and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jennifer Fisher and Angela Kinsey. The Lazy Genius podcast is enthusiastically part of the Office Ladies Network. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that,

more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life, because when you're living a B or B plus life, If you don't change it, you think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.