The Lazy Genius Podcast - #378 - 13 Principles That Will Change Your Life Forever

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

This week marks the four-year anniversary of my first book, The Lazy Genius Way, and we’re going to celebrate by dedicating an entire episode to the 13 Lazy Genius principles. These are lifelong, long haul principles that will make your life more grounded, content, and help you continue to name and focus on what matters most to you in whatever season you’re in. Plus, they help you get your stuff done. What a world that something can actually help you live your life and without an ounce of shame or shoulds. Helpful Companion Links Pre-order my new book The PLAN or ask your library to consider carrying a copy once it releases in October. Claim your pre-order gifts here! Episode 366: Twenty Helpful Decisions I Keep Repeating Episode 349: 10 Small Changes I’m Glad I Made Episode 262: Answers to the Magic Question That Paid Off Episode 317: 5 Steps to a Routine That Actually Works Episode 359: 7 Routines That Work for Me Essentialism by Greg McKeown Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, you're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 378, 13 principles that will change your life forever. This week marks the four-year anniversary of my first book, The Lazy Genius Way. And we're going to celebrate by dedicating an entire episode to the 13 lazy genius principles. For those of you who have read the book, you know that these principles have the power to change your life forever. And not in an infomercial way. I'm not the sham wow guy here. These are lifelong, long haul principles that will make your life more grounded, content,

and help you continue to name and focus on what matters most to you and whatever season you're in. Plus, these principles help you get your stuff done. Like, what a world that something can actually help you live your life. and without an ounce of shame or shoulds. It's pretty great. Now, we've never done an episode that just highlights the principles. So today, in the Lazy Genius Ways birthday week, it just feels like the perfect time to do that, and I'm so excited. So first, I'm going to remind you of the 13 principles, and then I'm going to share a few of the ways they can work together to make your life feel a little bit easier. That's the beauty of these principles. The points of connection are plentiful. It's like

pairing ingredients together in a recipe. Certain principles together or in a certain order, they just sing. And I'm going to share some of my favorite combinations. All right. So first, let's do a quick run through of the principles so that if you're new to the 13, you will know what all of them mean. So first principle, decide once. This is the workhouse of the group and she is fantastic. You make one decision, one time about one thing. And then you keep making that decision until it does not work for you anymore. You wear the same thing on a certain day of the week. You cook the same meal after soccer practice. You get the same gift for a friend's birthday. You go to the same ice cream place when you're on vacation at the beach. The list is literally endless. If you want a list of my

personal favorites, you can listen to episode 366. 20 helpful decisions. I keep repeating. Second principle, start small. She comes off as annoying, but really she's your best friend. Start small is fairly countercultural, so it is a harder principle to apply. Starting small also does not give us immediate results, which we love and are programmed to prioritize. But despite what the productivity world tells you, going big, it is not your only option. It's not. Start small. Like I say in the book, in the lazy genius way, small steps are easy. Easy steps are sustainable. And sustainable steps actually go somewhere. If you'd like more thoughts on that, listen to episode 349, 10 small changes. I'm glad I made. Third principle, ask the magic question. She's so smart and shiny and makes your future self very happy.

The magic question is, what can I do now to make something easier later? This something is up to you. You can make anything easier later. All you need to do is ask the question. Now, a quick note here, Is it possible to over magic question your life? It is, yes. If you stay so focused on making the future easier, you won't be connected to your present. I talked about this with time management expert Laura Vandercam discussing if it is possible to overthink and over prepare for the future. And of course it is, but Laura said the funniest thing that I will never forget.

She said, your future self is not incompetent. So fall out away, please. Anytime you're trying to magic question literally everything, your future self is not incompetent. If you'd like more ideas here on how to use the magic question, you can listen to episode 262 answers to the magic question that paid off. Fourth principle, live in the season. This principle is like the sturdy oak tree you can see from your window. It is the consistent principle that you should consider and pretty much any decision you make. If you forget the season you're living in, you might make choices that are not appropriate

for who and where you are right now. I said this in the book too, but I remember a mom asking me how her family should eat dinner together at night because her boys were on a like a traveling baseball team and they often did not get home until 9 o'clock. She was worried about how wrong she was doing dinner. Like how are we supposed to eat dinner? rather than naming that she's in a season where dinner around the table is just not a thing. And that's okay.

Living your season, guys, it's such a foundational principle. Okay, fifth principle, build the right routines. The thing to remember about building a lazy genius routine is that it is less about doing a certain list of things and a certain order. A lazy genius routine focuses on where the routine is taking you. It is an on-ramp to a particular feeling or met need. So a morning routine isn't built on doing these seven things in a certain order. Its purpose is to gently ease you into the day or whatever your goal for the morning is. That way, you're less focused on checking off the boxes of the routine, which can get mired

in guilt very quickly. And instead, you're focused on what you're hoping to achieve or feel at the end of the routine. And sometimes you can do that with one of the seven things, as long as you remember what matters. For more about that, listen to episode 317, five steps to a routine that actually works, or episode 359, seven routines that work for me. All right, our sixth principle, set house rules. House rules is, it's like the teacher you love, but who doesn't play around, you know, like she helps you stay focused on what matters, but without being made.

about it. House rules are that. They are decisions that are meant for either you or everyone you live with, and the point of them is to prevent chaos, basically. If you often find yourself in a situation where chaos reigns, perhaps there is a place earlier in the chaotic downturn where a house rule can keep things from falling apart as often. I have lots of examples of those in the lazy genius way. Okay, seventh principle, put everything in its place. This principle feels like the high you get walking into an office supply store. You know, order can be a beautiful thing, especially when it is oriented around what matters most to you.

So put everything in its place means what it sounds like when the things in your life have a place, both physically and metaphorically, ease often follows. There are so many ways to implement this, and I wrote a whole chapter about it in the book. Eighth principle, let people in. This one is a bit divisive because of the whole like extrovert introvert thing. Some people don't love asking for help or they feel weird sharing things they're excited about or they feel like a burden if they share something they're struggling with. But as you are aware, having meaningful relationships is now the proven most important contributor to a fulfilled life. It matters, y'all. Let people in. Ninth principle, batch it. Some of you hear something

else and that will always make me laugh. Batching is not a new concept. You do the same task all at once instead of like in sequence. So like I batched last night by sorting out a basket of laundry into like different types and then folding each type of item. It was quicker, which is really what batching is supposed to do. Make things quicker. Okay. 10th principle, essentialize. I first read about the concept of essentialism from Greg McEwen. It's a book called essentialism. And he applies the concept to business in his book. But in regular life, you can essentialize too. Essentially, get it, you remove what is in the way of what matters, only keeping what is essential. This is such an important, helpful concept with the organization of your home,

your schedule, even your relationships. Have what you need and get rid of what's in the way. 11th principle. Go in the right order. This one is a stinky. favorite of mine. It's that guy in middle school who you like never noticed and then he told a few funny jokes and looked at you a certain way one time and now you have like a low key crush on him forever. The right order often gets overlooked, but it is such good stuff. Certain things like how to clean a bathroom or how to make soup, they do go in a particular order that pretty much applies to everybody. But then there are personal situations where you're doing the right things, but just may be in the wrong order. For example, you don't organize a space before you essentialize it. Otherwise, you're organizing

what you don't need, right? But don't we still organize? Right? Don't we still do that? So the right order for most things can be distilled down to. Number one, name what matters. Number two, calm the crazy. In whatever situation you're trying to deal with, calm the crazy. And then three, trust yourself with what comes next. you're a smart cookie. You just need to like settle yourself in your immediate space first, and then you'll probably know what to do. 12th principle. Schedule rest for the love. Please do this. I think you're doing it more than you used to because we've been talking about intentional scheduled rest in this space for almost five years now. But please, please, please, please, please. Do not forget to schedule rest. And not just rest. I want you to schedule rest. I want you to schedule.

it because otherwise it does not happen as often as you need it to. In the lazy genius way, there is an entire chapter on rest, including the different kinds. So I don't mean just like schedule a weekend away. In fact, that's not what most of you need. You need daily, intentional rest as much as you're able to find it. So find it. Schedule it. Make it happen. Prioritize it because it matters in keeping you grounded and keeping you yourself. And then the 13th and final principle, be kind to yourself. This one is foundational, just like live in the season. In the lazy genius space, we do everything with kindness.

Kindness, self-compassion, empathy, all of those things are high values of those of you listening. But you're often much kinder to others than you are to yourself. A lot of you hold yourselves to such a high standard that when you think you failed at something, you do not talk to yourself kindly about it. There's a lot of self-shaming happening in between your ears, which is why be kind to yourself is a foundational lazy genius principle. If you are kind to yourself, it helps you be kind to others and both help you see your circumstances with eyes of wisdom and contentment rather than judgment and shame. Be kind to yourself. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sit.

Play, post, taste, view, and enjoy. Via Rail, love the way. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe,

wonder and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. So those are the 13 lazy genius principals. Again, they are described in great detail with lots of examples in the book The Lacey Genius Way. Happy birthday, buddy. So if you have not yet read that book, I highly encourage you to do it. I know a lot of you read it this time of year, like right before school starts because it helps you get into the headspace of kindness and intentionality in a way that you desire going into a busy season, which is awesome. This is a great time to get the book. And if you're an audiobook person, I read it. The voice is me in reading you the words. Well, the first voice you hear is Emily P. Freeman because she wrote and read the forward.

That threw some people off at first back in the day, which made me laugh. So just a heads up there. Okay. Now, let's talk about some of the ways you can. categorize or combine these principles to make them extra in the best possible way. Okay, first is the tried and true lazy genius method. It is a five-step process to help you lazy genius pretty much anything, especially things that are on the larger side, a new season, a transition, a consistent problem that has multiple parts, a rhythm of some sort. That's where you use the lazy genius method. Those five, steps which are connected to principles or to at least foundational lazy genius concepts are

to first prioritize or name what matters. That's technically not one of the 13 principles, but it is foundational in knowing how to apply those principles. So name what matters. Step two, essentialize, right? That's a principle. It's to get rid of what's in the way. Step three, organize or put everything in its place. Another principle. Step four. personalize or feel like yourself. I think this is a low-key way of being kind to yourself. Put yourself into the equation. And then step five of the lazy genius method is to systemize or stay in a flow. And while that is not a lazy genius principle itself, you can use multiple principles to systemize anything. And systemizing is something we try to do in places where we're

trying to be a lazy genius. Staying in a flow is what principles like decide once, set house rules and build the right routines help us do. So that's the first way to approach the principles, the lazy genius method. The second way is for when you're wondering what single principle to apply to a situation right now, this is a set of categories or questions that might be helpful. So the questions are, are you out of order, out of rhythm, or out of sorts? Out of order is when a specific thing or situation is out of order. A space is messy. You don't know what's for dinner. A kid is on the ground covered in something gross and you have to leave the house, you know. You need like a quick fix. The best principles for that are decide once. Start small.

That's the one with the kid on the ground. Ask the magic question and put everything in its place. Now, if you are out of rhythm, that is a slightly broader problem, a repetitive problem. Your mornings are always harried. You can't seem to. find your keys ever. The kitchen is always messy. The principles for that are essentialize, batch it, set house rules, build the right routines, and go in the right order. And finally, are you out of sorts? Are you out of sorts? Are you feeling upside down in your brain? Are you extra judgmental right now? Are you trying to force something to work in your life that used to, but it just doesn't anymore? Are you about to yell at the next person who speaks to you? The principles

for this are live in the season, let people in, schedule rest, and be kind to yourself. So those three categories, that's another way to look at the principles. Are you out of order, out of rhythm, or out of sorts? Okay, another favorite way to use the principles involves getting a refreshed, healthy, realistic, kind perspective on whatever is frustrating you. Okay? life is frustrating on a pretty regular basis. So having a process that helps you see that frustration a little more calmly and kindly is huge. If you use these next four principles in this order for literally anything forever, I think it will consistently change your perspectives and therefore your life. Those four principles in order are, be kind to yourself, live in the season,

essentialize and start small. If you are feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, access kindness first. Calm down your body and your brain and be kind, okay? Then next, live in the season. Remember where you are. Most likely your frustration is tied to that season. So naming it and being where you are today, it helps you relax into the situation a bit more. Third, essentialize.

Get rid of whatever is in the way. Most likely something is, whether it's physical or emotional, you know, it's hard to see a problem clearly when something is in the way. And then finally, start small. When you are overwhelmed and frustrated, big black trash bag energy comes calling and you start moving in these giant sweeps to eliminate the problem. But as we all know, that approach never actually works. You just end up overwhelmed again. But now for extra reasons, because there are piles everywhere. or you just yelled at somebody. So file this principal order away in your head forever.

Be kind to yourself, live in the season, essentialize, and then start small. Okay. A house rule that applies to the lazy genius principles is to always essentialize before you put everything in its place. Always. These two principles, essentialize and put everything in its place.

They must always go on that order. They must. If you organize what you don't need, you are wasting your time. wasting your time. My favorite most entertaining way that I've ever experienced that order was in an episode of the Lazy Genius Kitchen video series that we made a couple of years ago when I launched the book The Lazy Genius Kitchen. You can find the videos on YouTube. We'll put a link in the show notes. But I helped Annie Downs organize her freezer. She was organizing too many things she didn't need.

And the things that she did not need that were taking place of the things that she did need, it was just absolutely hilarious. Please go watch that if you want something to make you laugh while you eat lunch today. It is such a great video. But essentialize before you put everything in its place. That is a steady lazy genius principal house rule forever. Another steady rule about these principles is to tack on start small to any of the other principles.

If you are considering one principle for a particular challenge in your life, always add on start small. it'll keep you in check before you spin out of control doing more than is necessary or within your season or abilities. If you're going to decide once excellent, but also start small with it, don't decide once about everything right now. If you're going to ask the magic question, also start small. You don't need to magic question everything. Building the right routine, definitely start small with it. Don't build a routine for everything right now. Start small. What about even scheduling rest? Don't feel like you have to schedule every bit of rest for the duration of your life.

Start small with just resting today. Start small with literally everything. Always. It is more sustainable. It's kinder. It's realistic and it works. It's boring and it's not the least bit sexy, but it works. All right. The final principle combo I want to highlight is to live in the season and go in the right order. going in the right order is often quite helpful, but without an acknowledgement of your season, you might be a little more rigid about that order than you need to be. So by combining these two principles into one energy, you have just created for yourself a like a lifestyle superpower that will help you get things done, but with kindness and wisdom based on what's happening for you right now. Okay. So think about live in your season and then go on the right order where you name what

matters. You call them the crazy and then you trust yourself with what comes next. I encourage you to think about the principles this way for your own life. You know, I bet there are winning combinations that serve your particular personality or season of life really well. And naming those combinations, it might give you a leg up the next time you need to lazy genius a problem in your own life. Okay, those are the 13 principles that would change your life forever. Again, I hope you grab the lazy genius way in honor or for four-year birthday or anniversary or whatever we're calling it. Now, one way you can do that, you can get a copy, is by winning one, winning a copy on

Instagram. Isn't that a great segue? We've got two big announcements today. Okay. First announcement. So yesterday, I posted a giveaway for signed copies of the lazy genius way in celebration of this birthday anniversary. So go leave a comment on that post if you want to win a signed copy.

The second announcement is very exciting. We are less than two months away from the release of the plan. Manage your talking about a lazy genius, which is out of October 8th and I'm so excited about it. And today is the day we officially announce the thank you gift for pre-ordering. Okay. You've very much heard this before, I am sure, but just in case, pre-ordering a book is hard to say. and it's not hard to do, thankfully, but it is a huge boost, a huge boost to an author's book launch because it tells retailers and bookstores and publishing sales teams that people want this book

and that stores should stock this book. All of that energy also helps boost a book's visibility for bestseller lists and, you know, kind of these round-up lists and stuff like that, like just for publicity. It's all kind of chaotic, honestly, and a bit arbitrary. but it's also a lot of fun. So to those of you who have already pre-order the plan, some of you months ago, I am genuinely so grateful. Like there are thousands of you have done it.

It's wild. So to show my gratitude, we have a thank you gift for everyone who has pre-ordered or will pre-order the plan up until October 8th, starting today, Monday, August 12th, I will be sending out a pep talk every Monday from now until the end of the year.

For real, from August 12th to December 30th. You can get a written or audio version of me giving you a short, like two to three minute pep talk every single Monday. Now, the plan, the book, it has a pep talk section in it. And some of you who read the book early, you told me that that section was your favorite part. In fact, recently I had a meeting with the office ladies with Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. And Jenna told me that that very day, because they got the book early, that that very day she had gone to read the pep talk called when there's too much to do. She read it. She immediately felt better. And then she got on with the things that she could do. Y'all, sometimes all we need is a little

pep talk. And I'm going to give them to you for the rest of 2024. So when we are in that October chaos, we're up is down and down is up. When we're about to go into the Thanksgiving holidays, when we're right up on the presidential election, I will be sending time and season specific pep talks each week to folks who preorder the plan. Okay. So here's how you get. So here's how you get the pep talks. You're going to go to the lazy genius collective.com slash the plan. And you'll see directions on that page on what to do. You might have to scroll a little bit because everything regarding the plan is on that page. It's just a one-stop shop. So basically, what you're just going to do is enter your order information. So from wherever you pre-order the

plan in whatever format you did it, okay, whether it was today or four months ago, you're going to put in your order number, where you bought it from, all the things. And actually, it's really just those things. And then you're going to automatically get pep talks every Monday. Okay. You will receive a new one every Monday until the end of 2024. I love that it's like officially pre-order thank you gift time because that means that we are just a breath away from this book officially being in the world. And I'm so excited. I cannot wait for you all to read this thing. Oh my gosh. It's going to change your life. It's like I wanted to change the world. We need compassionate time management so bad and I'm so excited. So thank you for celebrating all of this with me.

I mean, this book is just really rad. Don't read it because you like me. Read it because you like yourself. Like it's going to make your life better. No matter your life stage, your season, your personality. If you have kids, if you don't, if you work from home, if you don't, none of those things matter. None of those things matter. If you want to be a contented person, if you want to be a compassionate person who also gets her stuff done. And I say her very specifically because this is written by a lady and 93% of time management books are not. So it's time for one, right? You're going to love this book. You're going to love it. So thank you so much for pre-ordering, and I hope you enjoy the pep talks. Okay, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week.

This week, it is Christine Neese. Christine writes this. My kids were 10 and 13 and wanted to learn to cook beyond basic scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, and pasta. None of the cooking camps in the area fit our needs. So I subscribed to a meal prep service and had two meals delivered weekly. Every week, my kids chose their meals and on their assigned days, they got to take charge of cooking while the other played sous chef. The meals came with clear instructions, all the ingredients, and were sophisticated enough to use real cooking skills, even grilling. I was able to defer meal planning and prep and they learned a life skill that they continue to use as young adults. It cost a fraction of what some camps charged and only slightly above the cost of the cost of

of normal groceries, plus we got some amazing meals. When summer was over, I stopped my subscription with no fuss. Not everyone's season is ready or able to subscribe to a meal prep service, but it was a perfect solution for my season at that time. Listen to me right now. This is one of the best ideas I've ever heard. Seriously, what a brilliant way to name what matters and be a lazy genius about it. Christine applied the principles, decide once, start small, essentialize, go on the right order, build the right routines, put everything in its place, be kind to yourself, so many. I also love that Christine is using something that is typically meant to be used one way and changing its purpose to match her own needs. I have never heard of anyone using a meal delivery

service to teach kids how to cook and what a brilliant way to use it. Seriously, I'm so obsessed with this. I cannot stand it. Thank you for sharing this great idea, Christine, and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. If you'd like to be considered for or lazy genius of the week, email us your idea at hello at the lazy genius collective.com. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kinsey. The Lazy Genius podcast is enthusiastically part of the Office Ladies Network. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production and for setting up all the pep talk mechanics. You're getting weekly pep talks because Leah figured out the machinery and all the

things to get it to you. So thank you, Leah. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough.

Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to becoming you wherever you get your podcasts.