The Lazy Genius Podcast - #382 - How to Manage Calendar Logistics

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Everyone has calendars to logistic (I know that’s not right, but I like it), and for certain people, seasons, families, those logistics feel like they’re going to eat you alive. Right now, my Google calendar has so many blocks in it, some of which overlap and I haven’t quite figured out how to reconcile those overlaps yet. It’s a whole thing, and maybe your calendar looks or at least feels like that. So let’s talk about how to do this like a Lazy Genius. How can you manage calendar logistics in a reasonably efficient, intentionally kind way?  Helpful Companion Links Pre-order my new book The PLAN or ask your library to consider carrying a copy once it releases in October. The Holiday Docket Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi there, you are listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 382. How to manage calendar logistics. Good gravy. Do we need this? Everyone has calendars to logistic. I know that's not right, but I like it. And for certain people, seasons, families, those logistics, feel. like they're going to eat you alive. Right now, my Google Calendar has so many blocks in it, some of which overlap, and I haven't quite figured out how to reconcile those overlaps. It's the whole thing. Maybe your calendar looks or at least feels like that. This time of year is also big on calendar logistics. It's just in the air. Maybe every time of the year is, depending on your life, but right now it feels really high. So let's talk about how to do this like a lazy genius. how can you manage calendar logistics in a reasonably efficient, intentionally kind way? First, let's name what makes calendar logistics stressful.

It could be that a lot is happening. Like you literally have a lot of things to do or attend or remember. Life is just full. And when you open your Google calendar or your planner and you see all of that fullness, your brain runs scared. You're like, oh, no. this is terrible. And you close the planner and you distract yourself or you decide that your planner is the problem and you start looking for a new one. When I open my calendar app, I have to be

vigilant to not feel overwhelmed by it. Like it's a lot. It doesn't matter how many colors I use or how pretty it might be. That puppy can turn into a stress ball if I don't recognize that looking, the act of looking at a busy calendar, it makes my brain react. So just remember that for your brain too. Most of the time, you can probably do the things on your calendar. They're going to take some energy, a little effort to get done, to get organized. We're going to talk about that. But they can happen.

You just have to remember that a lot of blocks doesn't immediately require the emergency sirens to go off, right? So calendar logistics could be stressful because of all you have going on or because of how you feel about how much is going on. Okay. Second, calendar logistics could be stressful because you're dealing with not just your schedule, but the schedule of multiple people. And if those people are children, you're probably the main person handling it all, including the transportation and the supplies they need. And if their uniform is clean or whatever. the more people you have involved in your calendar, the more complicated your calendar probably becomes. Third thing, maybe you have multiple calendars.

You have a paper planner and a wall calendar and a digital calendar, or you use this thing for meals, this thing for kid activities, this other thing for your own schedule. Maybe you share like a Google calendar with a spouse, but some of their stuff like clogs up your stuff and then it makes seeing your stuff even harder. multiple calendars could cause some pretty gnarly logistics. And then the fourth reason, and truly I think the most significant, is that every, listen to me, every calendar entry comes with an invisible list of things to do. Every calendar entry isn't just that thing.

It contains decisions and tasks that you do not see. For example, I just looked at my calendar for today, and one kid has a clarinet lesson from 5 to 5.30, and then another kid has to be picked up for marching band rehearsal at 6.30. Okay. Connected to both of those calendar items are who is going to take and pick up those kids from those things. That's a fairly obvious thing to, like, have to plan for, but it has to be named. That's not written down. That's not in there. Both of those calendar items are also right over top of the dinner hour. So what happens then? You know, when do we eat? Do we eat together? I'm also working until 4.30. So unless I make that

dinner decision on the early side of the day, a meal scramble is hidden within those calendar items, right? I also have three children, not just two. So what does all this mean for the third one when her brothers are off doing things, presumably with her mother doing the driving? This is the hardest thing about calendar logistics. Every entry has other invisible stuff that you have to recognize is there and then figure out how to manage it. And if you don't see that aspect of your calendar, those invisible details are suddenly very visible and feel like a slap in the face. And honestly, I think that's why our calendars just feel heavier because they're holding all this invisible stuff that we have not yet named. So what do we do? How do we manage? How do we manage?

calendar logistics. I'm going to get into all the practicality of it, but first I just want to say if you're like, oh, no, because you're feeling overwhelmed by your own calendar, please do this kindly. Manage your calendar logistics kindly, because you're not doing it wrong. You're not doing it wrong. There's lots of ways to do this. And also do one thing at a time. Start small. This is a place where the lazy genius principles start small and be kind to yourself, need to be front and center. if you try and figure out your entire calendar and how you're going to manage it for like even the rest of the school year, which is still enormously too big, if you try to do that in one fell swoop or you stay like so clenched about this whole thing, like figuring this whole thing out

that you forget that you're a human being who is just doing what she can on this particular day, it'll be harder to figure out much of anything, okay? Start small and be kind. Okay, so with that foundation in mind, let's get practical. We're going to use the lazy genius method to help us today. The lazy genius method is a five-step process that helps you manage something, figure something out, make something a little better, that has multiple pieces and parts, okay? Those five steps are, say it with me. We all know these by now. Prioritize or name what matters.

Essentialize or have what you need and get rid of what's in the. away. Organize. Put everything in its place. Personalize. Feel like yourself. And systemize. Stay in a flow. All right. We start with prioritize. We need to name what matters. When you step back and think about managing your calendar specifically, what is the biggest pain point? I think often naming that pain point and making it smaller, it helps you name what matters. Okay. And remember the smaller you make your problem and your solution and even your season, the more likely you are to find an approach that works really well for right now. Okay, smaller the better. For me, what matters most is that I have given myself enough time to think through those invisible tasks connected to the events on my calendar

before all the invisible things become visible. Since I have a lot going on, and it involves a lot people. And since my husband doesn't have a terribly flexible job when it comes to helping with these daily logistics, I prefer for those unseen details to not sneak up on Kendra. The more they do, the more fragmented she becomes. She starts talking in the third person. And she doesn't have an easy time accessing softness and kindness. And she gets spinny and a little mean. and then her intensity seeps into her entire family, which is not super great. So anyway, it matters most to me that whatever is on the calendar is also accompanied by time enough to think through the invisible details of that calendar. Okay? That is what matters most to me. Now for you, the priority could be

just looking at the calendar, right? Just making it part of your rhythm. You write things down, but you don't go back and look. It could be that everyone in your family uses the process the same way. that the items don't slip through the cracks and things and people are not forgotten, or that everything is visible and obvious because you have ADHD. Now, I would encourage you that if you haven't yet prioritized only putting things that matter on your calendar to start that now. In the same way, we don't organize what we don't need in a hall closet or a junk drawer, don't manage the logistics of a calendar full of things that don't matter.

And for a while, that was like the sole priority of my family. We were like, we're not doing things that don't matter. We're not doing too much. I can't. I can't. I can't. And over time, we said yes, a limited amount. We were super thoughtful about our commitments.

And that practice has now become baked into our family culture. It's kind of automatic in a way that I'm really grateful for. But it took some time. It did. So I would encourage you that if you see things on your calendar and your Why is this even here? Maybe that's an interesting question to actually answer. Why are you doing that thing?

If it's possible to slowly start moving away from things that matter less, but still take up a lot of time, I think that's worth considering. It'll make the rest of it a lot easier. Don't organize what you don't need. Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the Orteau. orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk. Habaniero, more like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep.

flip or that and enjoy via rail love the way awe isn't something we need to travel for it's something waiting for us in everyday life whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art i'm dacre kelpner host of the science of happiness podcast join me for cities of awe a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe wonder and enhance the the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Not organizing what you don't need leads us into step two quite perfectly essentialize. This is where you name what you need and also you get rid of what's in the way of what matters. For example, if it matters to you that you have more evenings at home than away from home, but you're part of a couple of groups or clubs or committees or whatever that meet and night and you don't actually love all those groups a ton, you know, and it might be worth removing one of them so that you can support what matters, which is being at home more in the evenings. Does that make

sense? Have what you need and get rid of what you don't. Now, what are some things that you might need? When it comes to managing calendar logistics, you definitely need to acknowledge how you think and plan. Don't try and make yourself organize or logistic the same way that someone else does. There's not a normative way to do this. My son has a recent ADHD diagnosis and as he learns to manage his own calendar, one of the things that he needs to name is that the more steps he has in his system, the less likely his system is to work. Multiple calendars, multiple steps, multiple colors, like all these different things to manage. That's not for him. Complexity has to be removed in order for his brain to thrive.

and get stuff done. So he has a paper calendar where he writes down all the stuff that's coming, homework, due dates, football games, stuff like that. And then he has a daily sticky note, like a large, you know, like five by seven sticky note that goes on the front of that planner, and that's where that day's to do list goes. And 95% of that organization is really just about schoolwork, you know, that's pretty much it. But that's it. That's his organization. That's what he needs. in order to support what matters most to him, which honestly is probably to keep his mother off his back to get his stuff done because she is a situation sometimes. So how will you need? And you have to name what that is. Okay. So how do you plan? How do you think? Do you need support?

Do you need partnership? Consistency, visibility, rhythm. Is there something missing from your calendar logistics that you need in order to support what matters? Add that in. And if it's something big and like a little unwieldy, you need to start small, right, by making that thing small and as manageable as you can. So think about what it is that you need. Also, is there anything in the way? Are you over-complicating your calendar by compartmentalizing it too much? Are you making your Google calendar look like a giant blob because everything is the same color and you need to bring more colors in? Or are you spending so much time maintaining a multicolored calendar that you don't even like putting in entries because you can't remember what color stands for what kind of thing.

Do you have too much going on and you need to leave that one group that you joined? Is the expectation that you are supposed to manage everything and you realize you need some help so you're not doing it all alone. Lots of things could be needed and lots of things could be in the way. So first, name what matters most in the most specific language that you can and then examine what you need to make that particular thing happen and if there's anything in its way. All right. Now, step three, organize. Put everything in its place. Let's not organize what we don't need. So as you enter into your calendar management era here, always keep that in mind. Noticing what doesn't belong on your calendar in this season of life is a forever task for you.

It is part of living a lazy genius life. So don't get frustrated. when you're confronted with yet another potential calendar item and if it's worth locking in, that's going to happen for the rest of your life. And it's why paying attention to the season you're in and what matters while you're there. And then even, you know, deciding once on some things or making some calendar house rules, all of that can help automate some of those logistics over time and make them a little easier. My point here as we begin talking about organization is that you not expect that you'll decide one time and then it's all over. Okay? You're always going to need to pay attention to not organizing what you don't need. This is a lifelong journey, my friend. Okay.

So organization is really just putting something in its place, right? You know you need the thing. You create a forever place for it and then you put it there. This is why you really have to have a calendar, right? That is the place to put. put the things. It doesn't matter what kind of calendar it is, but you have to put your appointments and carpal runs and birthday dinners and all the things in your life that are connected to a time in a place in your calendar. That's kind of foundational. But next, you need to organize that calendar by putting it somewhere. You have to put the actual calendar somewhere that you're going to use it. Okay. Do you use a digital calendar? Is your app easily accessible? Is your app easily accessible?

Do you want it to be easily accessible? Or is it constantly like causing you stress just because you're looking at it? Okay. Do you use a paper planner and a wall calendar and a shared digital family calendar? What items go where? Right? What is the place for those calendar items? Do they really need to be written or typed in three different places? Maybe they do if that supports what matters to you. But when you're organizing the management of these calendar logistics, make sure that the events themselves are in a place, like a calendar, but also that the calendars are in a place too, right? Are your calendars in the right place? Are they working for you? Do you have too many, too few? Are they too complicated, too simple? You don't want to do

more work than is necessary here. You also need to organize. when you look at your calendars or calendar, when you see what's coming next. If you're like me, you're actually going to prioritize organizing when you figure out those invisible details we talked about that the calendar holds. You're going to prioritize that organization. And so you need to organize or put in place the time of the day or week that you're going to look at that to make that happen as all. often as you would like to make it happen. Okay. Maybe that's what you're missing right now is you're not,

you don't have a time set, a rhythm of any kind where you look at the invisible details that the calendar is hiding. So calendar, here's what it looks like in the Adachi household. Okay. This is our calendar organization flow chart here. I have a Google calendar. I only share it with my team. Cause and I don't share calendars. We did for a stretch and it just, I got to, wary of like the the unclicking and the toggling back and forth. And so we, and my calendar overwhelmed the heck out of that man. So we just don't share calendars with each other anymore. We share calendars verbally. That's what we do. He does his. I do mine. And then we talk about it once or twice a week or sometimes the day where I'm like, hey, do you remember that you're picking this kid up? Yes, got it.

So I have my Google calendar and it's shared. I have like a shared team calendar. So I have two. I have a personal calendar and a work calendar. And they both show up for me on my same Google calendar. But I do have things color coded because that works for me so that I can notice what's happening at a glance. I think this is true of a lot of people who might wear many hats. If you look at your calendar and you see all the hats, but it's like looking at them all in black and white and you can't quite grab what you need, you know? That's why colors are helpful for me. So pink is work. Orange is like open space for work, like interview blocks so that Leslie, who's my director of operations, she has a place to like schedule podcast interviews and publishing

meetings and stuff without having to ask, does this time work for you? Green is carpool. There's a lot of green on my calendar right now. Gray is stuff that's happening that involves my family, but not me. So like Sam being gone at an away football game that we're not going to. That's gray. Yellow is birthdays and travel. Red is anything urgent and blue is everything else. Now that is a lot of colors. But those colors are helpful to me. They're so helpful to me. Because I have so many blocks every day, seeing the day in color, it just helps me automatically know how the energy is spread out. If my afternoon is heavy with carpal green, I know I'm going to be in the van for like a solid two hours, getting three kids from three schools that end at three different times with carpool lines that make you

want to leave town. So knowing that at a glance, it's really helpful to me. So when you organize how your calendar logistics work, you're really just putting things in their place, right? So where do your calendar items actually go? If you have multiple calendars, be thoughtful about whether or not something needs to be written down on every single one. Okay. So where do your actual calendars go, right? Do you keep your planner on a desk? Do you keep it around with you all the time? Is your wall calendar in the kitchen? Where is everything? And then when and where is the place and time that you gather up those invisible details from your calendar that really do make up the energy of your day. Okay? You're putting everything in its place. Okay. Step four. Step four.

or is to personalize or feel like yourself. We touched on what that means earlier. You know, when I was talking about acknowledging the kind of planner that you are, the kind of thinker that you are, how you thrive in whatever organization works best for you. I feel like my world is really just opening up, trying to help my son create systems that work for him with his ADHD diagnosis. For example, for y'all, for years, we have argued with his child about putting away his laundry. So he gets it in a laundry basket clean and ready to go. But it's unfolded.

And we just ask him to put it away. We don't even make him fold it. We're just like put it in the drawer, man. But his argument is always, why do I need to put it away? I'm going to wear all these clothes again and they're easier to get to when they're in the basket and they're just right here. But that's not conventional, is it? Right. Now, usually I'm the first one to encourage y'all to use items and processes in unconventional ways. You know, you can put glasses and drawers. You can keep hairbows in the car. You can do whatever you need, right? But sometimes we get stuck on whether or not something is okay to do because of how unconventional it might be. So when it comes to managing your calendar logistics, what do you need to feel like yourself? To lower your stress, to trust yourself,

to even have fun with it, what do you need? And if it's purely unconventional, that is fine. Okay. I feel more like myself when I'm able to take my time and not rush in working out our calendar and who's doing what and all those invisible details. I also feel more like myself when I'm free to just verbally dump all of the unorganized details onto cause and that he receives them without being annoyed. And then I want to have a pen that I love and I have a mild lighter highlighter in the color gold. Those things make me feel very much like myself. So name that for yourself as you slowly discover and adjust this rhythm of managing calendar logistics like a lazy genius. Which leads us to step five, systemize or stay in a flow. Now I want to be very clear

about something here. Staying in a flow does not mean that there is no stress. Have you ever been in a river? It's not the same speed all the way down. You know, you can be in your inner tube or whatever and you're floating and mostly feeling at ease, having a good time, got a beer and a cozy. But you might see a little white water coming down and you've got to pay a little bit more attention, right? That's normal. It is vital, you guys, that you don't expect managing calendar logistics to look like a robotic, repetitive, constant thing. It's not. Life is not like that. You might have days, even weeks, where you don't forget anything, where you don't feel as stressed getting all the things and the people where they need to go. But most of the time, that is not going to be your

normal probably. The default is unlikely to be smooth sailing the whole time. So the idea behind systemizing and staying in a flow is that you have something that is small enough to be doable and intentional enough to support what matters. And that is your baseline. That's your baseline way of managing your calendar logistics. And then when something makes the water churn a little bit, you have something to pivot from, right? Does that make sense? Just this morning, I was walking Annie into school and I passed another mom who I'm in a separate middle school carpal with. She has multiple kids in two different schools with a full-time job. And it's a lot to remember every single day, right? So I saw her walking into school with her kid as I was walking out

of school without my kid. And in those few seconds without Annie as I headed back home before I saw this other mom, I was already thinking about the next thing. I was thinking about getting home quickly to make sure that Ben was all set to be picked up for school. And then I needed to get ready while also getting my oldest up, who's the hardest one to get out of bed? Oh my goodness. And then I'm on carpal duty this morning. So I was driving him and another friend to school because transporting children is my life now. I was feeling as I was walking out of school, I was feeling that like tiny bit of scatter, you know, that like as I passed this other mom. And when we greeted each other with morning, how's it going?

like we were both mid-sci, basically, right? You know that feeling where you're like, hi, you know, just doing my best, keeping it going. That's like the cadence that we all talk with sometimes. And at first, I felt kind of weird feeling that way like I was doing something wrong. But I'm not. Neither are you.

Depending on your season of life, what you have going on, what you're committed to, how many humans you're tending to, whether it's your kids or parents or anyone else, you might always feel busy and kind of mid-sci. I really think that in many households across America and in other parts of the world too, life just moves really quickly. There are so many parts to keep track of and little room built into our culture and our own lives to rest from that.

I think we can learn a lot from cultures and religions that practice a Sabbath, you know, like a day of complete rest. It's a necessary thing to feel like yourself, to put your calendar into perspective, and to take the time to slow down and play and just enjoy your life. So as you think about systemizing the management of your calendar logistics, remember that the goal here is not to have every piece figured out and running like a machine. are not a machine. You're likely going to have at least some level of stress as you move from thing to thing because for better or worse, that's the world we live in. But you can make that energy easier by scheduling rest, by letting people in in the form of helping each other out or hiring somebody or just companionship in the chaos. You can make that energy easier by deciding once in a couple of places or setting some house rules about how the calendar works. You can build the

right routine that focuses on feeling like yourself as you plan, no matter what is happening on your schedule that week. All of these lazy genius principles and methods and ways of viewing ourselves in the world are here to make us more ourselves, more grounded, more human, more connected to our lives. It's not about management for its own sake or mastering our time. Good gravy, that is just not a thing. We're just trying to stay in a reasonable flow. We're just trying to stay in a reasonable as we live our lives as ourselves. So as you look at your calendar logistics, it may be that you don't need a new system.

You just needed the reminder that the way you feel is normal and that you're actually doing a really good job. But whenever you feel the need to examine what you're doing and why you're doing it, use the lazy genius method, prioritize, essentialize, organize, personalize, and systemize in that order. Because remember going in the right order, is also a lazy genius principal.

And that is how to manage calendar logistics. All right, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week it is Elise flutterer, flutterer, flutterer. Hi, Elise. Elise writes, hi Kendra. In early 2020, before the pandemic, we didn't have many babysitters and were missing regular date nights. We decided that what mattered most to us about dates was the uninterrupted time to talk to

each other. So we came up with what we call steak night. Once a month, the day can bury. We feed our kids something really easy like box mac and cheese, which is always very exciting for them. And after they go to bed, we cook a meal together and enjoy it alone. We decided once that we would always make some kind of steak, potato, and vegetable. I never have to think hard about what to make.

And we've done it so many times now, we can just talk and hang out while we both cook our parts of the meal. He's perfected his cooking technique by now too, so it's always perfectly. done to our preferences. We've been doing this for three years every month and we look forward to it every time. No babysitter needed, cheaper than going out and we get several hours of uninterrupted time to connect over a great meal. This is so great, Elise. In seasons when kids are little and getting out of the house for a date is sometimes harder than it is worth it. Naming what matters is extra important. So I love that you named that just being able to talk to each other uninterrupted mattered and made

a way to do that that fit in your season of life. I love this idea, Elise, and can Congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. If you'd like to be considered for the lazy genius of the week, email us your idea at hello at the lazy genius collective.com. And I want to remind you that if you are needing some help with your calendar logistics, especially as we start moving into the holidays, which I know is like, what are you talking about it at a September? But October sneaks up, Halloween, all the things. If you have not yet purchased the holiday docket, I would highly encourage you to check it out. It is a digital resource. It's downloadable. It is also undated. So you buy it once and you use it year after year. So if you've already bought it, this is your reminder to print it out again and use it this year. It is such a great way to help you name what matters about your upcoming season so that you can plan your time in a way that actually makes sense for your family and you do what matters to you in a way that doesn't have as much stress or shame. So you can go to the link in the show notes and check out the holiday docket while it is available. this fall. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi,

Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kenzie. The Lazy Genius podcast is enthusiastically part of the Office Ladies Network. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that, more dangerous, and a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it?

I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.