The Lazy Genius Podcast - #391 - 7 Things You Shouldn’t Expect Your Planner to Do

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

Alright, let’s huddle up. It’s the middle of November. Now that Halloween is over and we’re into the November swing, the avalanche of holiday stuff falls fast. The other thing that can sometimes happen this time of year is you start seeing ads for new planners. Most of us want a new one before the year is over so that we can start the new year fresh and ready to go, so planner-ordering energy is starting to wake up. I want you to remember that your planner is not magic. It is simply a tool to help you organize certain aspects of your life. The problem is that we often expect more from it than it has the capacity to give, so today, let’s talk about the 7 things you shouldn’t expect your planner to do. Helpful Companion Links Order my new book The PLAN or check to see if your library has a copy available for loan. The Playbooks are here! Find out more about them here. Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi there. You're listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 391. Seven things you shouldn't expect your planner to do. All right, let's settle up. It's the middle of November. Now that Halloween is over and we're kind of like into the November swing, the avalanche of holiday stuff, it falls fast. It's like Monica's closet, you know, and friends like packed to the gills. And the removal of one. thing makes it all tumble to the ground. At least that's how it feels. The anticipatory stress of that logistical tumble is a real thing. The other thing that can sometimes happen this time of year is you start seeing ads for new planners. Most of us want a new one before the year is over so that we can start the new year fresh and ready to go. So like planner ordering energy is starting to wake up. In this hubbub of busyness and the expectation to plan that busyness extremely well, what is one to do? Well, if one is a lazy genius, one remembers our new paradigm that we have learned from The Plan, my new book The Plan. Greatness does not have to be the goal of your life.

You can simply live as you are, where you are, if that is what you want. Contentment and integration are worthy goals. But even still, the siren song of the new planner, especially in light of an overwhelming final two months of the year. It screams loud, man. It calls to us. It makes us believe that this planner might be the one. This might be just the thing we've been waiting for. And maybe it is. Maybe your individual perfect planner is waiting just around the corner in the form of a perfectly placed Instagram ad. And I'm like genuinely happy for you and this new budding relationship. Planners are a blast. But before you start getting the ads, rolling the sites, browsing the aisles of Barnes & Noble, I want you to feel equipped. I want you to

remember that your planner is not magic. It cannot solve your problems in the way you've been told it can. It is simply a tool to help you organize certain aspects of your life. The problem is that we often expect more from it than it has the capacity to give. So today, let's talk about the seven things you should not expect your planner to do. Number one, you should not expect your planner to understand your season of life. Now, to be fair, some planners actively tailor to a specific job or even a larger season of life. There are planners for teachers, entrepreneurs, and moms. There are planners that have space for meal planning and events and self-care. You can obviously choose like all kinds of layouts and some might be incredibly beneficial to you even in your season of life. I'm not saying

that planners don't work because they do. They do. But we need to release the expectation that our planner is inherently designed to understand our season of life. We have to bring that to our planner. We have to do that. We have to be intentional about naming where we are, what's going on for real, what we have margin for, and what needs to be let go.

Then with that information, we can utilize our planner in a more effective way because we are embracing our limits and our priorities with a seasonal lens. It's so important. So you should not expect, your planner to understand your season of life. Number two, you shouldn't expect your planner to automatically prioritize what matters most to you. Now, there might be space to help work out some goals

and even seasonal priorities, but usually those are just at the front of your planner. They're not offering space to prioritize what matters as your seasons of life or even the seasons of the year change. I also think it's super important to remember that the inherent messaging of the planning industry is that you should master and optimize your time in pursuit of a greater goal. And if that is the main message of the industry, it is going to be implicitly woven into your planner. I have honestly never seen a compassionate planner, except maybe just like a blank notebook. It's the way it's been for a long time and it's likely the way it will stay too. But that doesn't mean you have to live by those rules. If you have read the plan, you know there's a different

option. You know that you can pursue a goal of contentment and integration rather than optimization and greatness. And when your goal is different, your strategies and planning tools are different too. So don't expect your planner to automatically prioritize what matters to you or even set it up with that kind of language, especially since it likely has a completely different rubric of the kinds of things that should matter in the first place. You can still use the planner, but maybe adjust your expectations of what it's going to do. Number three, you shouldn't expect your planner to show you everything at once. Now, this one is a little controversial, because for some of you, that is actually really helpful. If you're a teacher, those planners that are specifically

designed to show you like a month layout next to a week, next to a day are lifesavers. And I want you to keep using them. Like use what works. I'm not saying you shouldn't try and see everything at once. For certain jobs and certain personalities, perhaps that is what actually matters. But I think for the majority of folks, seeing everything at once is more about control and an idealized life than anything else. If greatness is the goal, we need to keep our individual goals in mind if we want every day to count toward them. If mastery of our habits and bodies are lauded, we need to see all the tracking of all the

things at all times. If the expectation is to create a plan, execute that plan and not deviate from it at all, we need to see all that preparation. We need to see the days and the weeks lined up next to each other so we don't miss a single detail. Y'all, do you see how having a completely different goal changes the function of your planner? Stop expecting your planner to show you everything at once. For most of you, everything it wants is the problem. It is not the solution. Everything at once is about control, greatness, and a manufactured, manipulated future. When you release that expectation, even the most organized everything at once planners, they have a completely different vibe to them. So stop expecting your planner to show you everything at once and maybe even release the need

to see everything at once in the first place. Be where you are. Start with today. Good is here right now. Number four, you shouldn't expect your planner to remove stress and busyness. Planters are not magic wands. No matter how perfectly suited to your life, you cannot expect them to completely remove stress and busyness. Why? Because life is life, y'all. Life will never be completely free of stress and busyness.

And believing that your one perfect planner away from that level of bliss will have you fruitlessly searching for the perfect planner until you die. So stop expecting your planner to remember. remove stress and busyness. That is a false message from a broken system. Your life is full and sometimes chaotic, not because you're doing something wrong, or because you're not focused enough, or because you don't have the right tools. It's because life is life. And life is often busy and out of our control. But what you can control is how grounded you are in that chaos. You can have a reasonable expectation of trying to make the chaos slightly less chaotic, the busyness slightly less busy,

piece by piece, adjustment by adjustment day by day, the removal of that is a false promise. With the strategies in the plan and noticing what's happening in and around you, you can start to lower that stress and busyness in a direction that matters. But definitely don't expect that you or your planner will ever fully remove them. You will be waiting for literally ever. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch, steep, flip, or that, and enjoy. Via Rail, love the way. Aw isn't something we need to travel for, it's something waiting for us in everyday life,

whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Number five, you shouldn't expect your planner to leave space for obstacles and pivots. Planners in the industry that supports them is hyper-focused on preparation. That's the whole point of a planner, right? It holds your preparation. It holds your plans. But we have a different view of a plan now, don't we? Planning is not just,

preparation. It is an equal balance among preparation, adjusting, and noticing, all so we can live a life that matters. Remember, that's our plan acronym. Prepare, live, adjust, notice. Pivoting is part of the deal. Changing your mind is part of the deal. Noticing what is and isn't working and altering the preparation is part of the deal. It's not settling. It's not lazy. It's not the exception. This kind of planning should be the foundational approach to planning. But because it's not, it's not the foundational approach in the current industry. Your planner, it will not leave space for obstacles and pivots. And it's not fair for you to expect it to. Keep using your planner and whatever way makes sense for you, but never forget that plans are just intentions. They are not pass fail. Just because the daily order

went out of order, just because the items meant for today didn't get checked off, just because you have to do something different tomorrow because of what happened today, it doesn't mean you did it wrong. It means life just did what life does. And you are prioritizing, pivoting over planning. It's a better skill to learn anyway. Number six, you shouldn't expect your planner to connect you with other people. I've talked about this on the podcast before. And I learned about this concept from one of my favorite kind of subversive voices in this contented life space, Oliver Berkman. He was the first to explain this concept of time autonomy that I'd ever heard. this idea that we as a culture are taught so relentlessly that our time is hours to control.

We should organize it based on whatever our goals are. But what that autonomous approach does is disconnect us from the very people who make life fulfilling. Remember that Harvard longitudinal study about what makes for a good life? The runaway answer, runaway answer was relationships and connection. But we have made those just another thing to put on. the to-do list. They are not, they are not integrated into our lives. Relationships are sometimes stuck into the cracks. How many DMs do I get about keeping in touch with other people? Y'all want to know how to make friends, how to see the friends you already have, how to stay connected

despite life's busyness. Part of the answer here is to make our time less autonomous. We need to pay attention to the lives that our people are leading and try and align them with hours somehow, even if it occasionally is not an entirely optimized efficient approach. I say that with major tongue and cheek. Your planner, it will not prioritize connection and relationships. It will not provide space and perspective for you to relearn how to incorporate connection into your life. Your planner simply cannot naturally logistically capture everything that matters. So don't expect it to. You know, let that be freeing. And start to orient your time towards what matters most in your own way.

And then finally, number seven, you shouldn't expect your planner to remind you to look at it. This one's kind of funny, like without a lot of follow up, but it has to be said. Planters can be tremendously helpful. I love mine. I mean, it's just a plain notebook, by the way. It's not anything. But it's the most helpful for me when I can see it, right? Now, hear me.

I'm not saying that with like old productivity energy. I'm not shaming you. I'm not even telling you to look at it if you don't need to. A planner nor a plan can be your savior. Staying in control of our time and circumstances, it's a fruitless endeavor. So let it go. You might feel the need to look at your planner because you're still unlearning this goal of greatness and feel like you're not being disciplined or consistent enough because you forget

that your planner even has stuff written in it or you don't have one at all. I want you to take that energy away. it doesn't belong here now that we have a different goal, right? And with that different energy and more compassionate goal, think about what place your planner has in your daily attention. Do you need to look at it as often as you think? Are you writing too much down, too little? Are you expecting your planner to hold the magic formula? And you think the problem is that you're just not looking at it often enough. See what I mean? Don't expect your planner to remind you to look at it, but also don't expect that when you do look at it, all your problems will be solved. Preparation is only part of it,

and your plan is just an intention. So be compassionate and kind as your circumstances do what circumstances do. So to recap, as you start to think about your next planner, or what planning even means for you, if you want a planner at all, you shouldn't expect your planner to, one, understand your season of life. Two, automatically prioritize what matters most to you. Three, show you everything at once. Four, remove stress and busyness completely. Five, leave space for obstacles and pivots. Six, connect you with others.

And seven, remind you to look at it. Now, in some ways, this list could be freeing. And I hope it is. Let's take the pressure off the perfect planner. By recognizing it cannot do these broader things that we keep expecting it to do. But also, it would be nice to have something that does understand our season of life, that does prioritize what matters most, that shows you what matters without the pressure of seeing it all at once, that doesn't remove stress and busyness, but it might lessen it a little bit, that does

leave space for life's obstacles and pivots. The connection with others and the reminder to look at the thing or frankly still on you, but for the other five, we have something very exciting to share with you. For years, I have been asked to make a lazy genius planner, and let's cut to the chase, I did not do that. There is no lazy genius planner. You know why? Even with lazy genius principles and permissions, there is no singular version of a planner that works for everyone in this community. So instead of making a planner, I wanted to make a tool that would make your planner work better for you. I call them the playbooks. The playbooks are these small, thin, highly satisfying notebooks that are designed to help you see your season,

name what matters, and prepare, adjust, and notice in an intentional way, all so you can live a life that matters to you in the season that you're in. There are currently four playbooks, winter, spring, summer, and fall. And they are the macro preparation to your daily micro planning that likely already exists in some form with a planner you already love. Inside the playbooks, you'll find questions, many of which are in the plan, that help you see your season and individual months through a lazy genius lens. There is space to triage your stuff with a clearer head and kinder eyes, to think about your

projects, because we know those are too big to go on your to-do list, to name what's going on your hope to and have-to lists. And then there are weekly pages where you can actually triage your tasks. So then when it's time for you to plan a week or your day, you can already use your planner that is set up for that kind of planning that works well for your life, but you use the playbooks as a tool to more quickly help you name what needs to get done now and what can wait until later. The playbooks are a holding pin for what matters most. Again, it's not a planner. This is not for your planner, but it will make your planner work better. Plus, it's small enough

to tuck inside your planner, which was on purpose, so you can keep it close by as your season moves along. You can purchase one season, if you'd like, just one, or you can get the bundle of all four. The most immediate season in front of us now is winter, which for the playbooks is December, January, and February. And the first round of playbook orders, they're going to ship mid-November so that you'll receive your playbooks before December begins. And that way you can, like, actually have a little bit of time to explore the winter playbook and fill it out before that month skips out of sight, you know? And also, if it does, if it does skip out of sight, there is still plenty of space for January and February and there's no rush to fill out anything, all right? There is no rush at all in how you

experience the playbooks. Okay, so you can do the math, but if winter is December, January, February, spring is March, April, May, summer is June, July, August, and fall is September, October, November. We intentionally kept November and December in two separate playbooks to help add intention to the opening and closing of certain holidays and seasons. If you knew, y'all, if you knew how long we talked about the division of these seasons, holy moly, it was so long. But we're, like, so proud, so proud of how these turned out. The playbooks are so high quality. And they will also make you stop expecting too much from your planner. And for that, all the planners and all the world breathe the sigh of relief.

You can find more information about the playbooks at the lazy genius collective.com slash playbooks. And we'll put a link in the show notes as well. Remember, the first shipment will go out mid-November. So if you would like to try them out and have them by December, be sure to order in the next week or so. And I hope you love them. Before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week.

This week it's Bethany, Weather's Bee. Bethany writes, my family attends our church's midweek service, which we arrive extra early for and stay quite a while after. That commitment is important to us, but it meant getting home hours after dinner and past the bedtime of our four young kids. Needless to say, everyone was hungry again by the time we pulled into the driveway. The problem was that no matter how well our day had gone, I was done, and I mean done parenting by that point. I'd spend the drive home trying to think of something I could shove in everyone's mouths that would be quick to prep and quick to eat, then be grumpy if they took even one second longer than necessarily, because it's late. You should

be in bed. I should be in bed. Stop talking. Just eat. We can all imagine this, can't we? One day I decided to make dessert in the afternoon in preparation for the post-church hunger. It added a little extra time to our evening, but it completely changed the tone. No need to come up with a plan on the fly. No complaints about the food option. Just a few extra minutes for the family to gather around the table to eat dessert while we shared hardest and best for the day. It's bliss. I've never looked back. Y'all later in the email, Bethany said she's been doing this for enough years that her oldest is now an adult and out of the house. And the three remaining kids still do dessert on Wednesdays. That's so tender and precious and matters.

Y'all, when you name what matters like Bethany did with these long days at church, it allows you more freedom, not less, in the choices that you make to support that. Desert on Wednesdays supports what matters to make church happen, but also connecting with each other afterward and keeping the understandable mom. age at bay. What a beautiful example of naming what matters, living in your season, deciding once and doing something now to make something else easier later. I love it so much. So thank you for sharing Bethany and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kenzie. The lazy genius podcast is enthusiastically part of the Office Ladies Network. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. Thanks y'all for listening. And until next time,

be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Have fun looking at the playbooks? I'm Kendra and I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to becoming you wherever you get your podcasts.