The Lazy Genius Podcast - #41: The Lazy Genius Guide to Holiday Giving

Episode Date: November 27, 2017

It's time to start buying for people, and while it's incredibly fun, we can inject a lot of stress into it, too. In this episode, we'll breeze through budgeting, how to choose a gift, and talk in detail about kids and gifts. As you can see, the links for this episode are plentiful, so read, listen, and get a better handle on how to give without feeling like Scrooge. The Lazy Genius Budgets is the best place to start for a handle on the Lazy Genius philosophy behind money. The Lazy Genius Buys a Gift gives you the best mindset to find gifts that your people will seriously love and not stick in the re-gifting closet. Plus there's a printable to keep track of your gift ideas. Score. Read How to Spend During the Holidays Without Going Broke and get your free holiday budget download, too. Everything - and I mean, everything - around here comes down to one basic question - what matters to you? ​​​​​​​If you're looking for specific gift ideas, I'll send out an extensive gift guide to the mailing list this weekend, so sign up by December 2, 2017 to get yours! This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today, it's episode 41, The Lazy Genius Guide to Holiday Giving. Here's what's happening in the playbook because there are a lot of directions that we could go that we aren't going to go. And instead, we'll talk about in other places. So we're going to talk a little about money, a little about how to decide what to buy, and then a lot of thoughts on gifts and kids. What we won't do today is talk about specific gift ideas. That will happen in this week's newsletter. I'll email that out this weekend.

So if you want my holiday gift guide, don't you love gift guides, head to the lazy genius collective.com slash join to get on the mailing list so that you don't miss that. I will, I'm going to mention a lot of blog posts and podcast episodes in this episode. So the show notes are going to be your lifeline. There's a lot that we've kind of already talked about in different places. So those will be at the lazy geniuscollective.com slash lazy slash holiday giving. Now, let's talk for a minute about money. Christmas is expensive and it adds up really fast.

I have done a podcast episode on budgeting in general. That's episode 37. And there's a blog post again that I'll link to in the show notes that helps you set up your overall holiday budget, like overall everything. both of those are great places to start and will give you a ton of information but in this episode I will always come back to one thing what matters to you this is the time of year where a lot can matter and we all choose different things there is no judgment or shaming and what you choose compared to what I choose or what your sister or boss or best friends chooses you get to decide what matters so when it comes to money put your money into what matters

and skip the rest. There's a holiday budget cheat sheet that can help you figure that out. So check the show notes of the yeah, check the show notes of this episode for that and I will, it's connected to a blog post and you'll find it. It's all there. It's like a lot. It's a lot stuff this week, you guys.

But if it all comes down to what matters to you, okay? And if staying within a budget or not being in credit card debt when January comes, if those things are important to you, you need to keep track of what you're spending. Set a general holiday budget and choose specific price limits for different people, for decorations, for hostess gifts, you'll take to office parties.

It feels a little scrogy. And if what matters to you is to not feel scrogy, but to just enjoy the holidays and spend and you're not going to be in like financial ruin in a couple of months, then oh my gosh, man, do it, spend, enjoy the holidays. But if you're budgeting, remember that you're not a screw. for budgeting. Being intentional about where your money is going now will make the shopping and giving. It'll make it all feel better.

It'll be a better experience because you don't have this like underlying worry about your credit card bill the next month. Scrooge would be way meaner than like in January, right? Let's be honest. So all of the money talk from before is linked in the show notes. So we're going to stop here for now. So you can go listen to that stuff. Let's move on to how to decide what to give people.

I did a podcast episode on this too, just in general, not for the holidays, but it all works the same, like how to choose gifts for people. It's episode 12, The Lazy Genius Buy the Gift, and you can find that in the show notes, or you can just scroll through your podcast app until you find it. Here is the biggest thing to remember when you're buying a gift for someone. Obviously, you want them to like it, right? Like, that's kind of a no-brainer. That means there are literally only two ways to buy a gift for someone.

You ask them what they want, or you figure that you figure that. it out for yourself. I know that's about as elementary as it gets, but you might not mind asking family and friends what they want for Christmas. What matters more to you is giving them something you know they'll love because they chose it. And if that's the case, just ask them. Like totally ask them what they want. Now, if that's not what you want to do, if you want to choose something on your own and make it a surprise, that podcast episode is such a great listen. It gives you a filter on how to think about gifts for people to really dig down into what they love, what they dream about, what their house looks like and feels like, what they wear,

consider the person and then buy the gift. Again, it's pretty simple, but it's broken down a lot more specifically in that episode. Plus there's a little downloadable, printable cheat cheat where you can keep track of gift ideas. So I'll be emailing a newsletter this weekend with specific gift ideas for that gift guide, right? So if you want help with that, be sure you're on the mailing list. Now, let's talk about something we haven't talked about before that I'll have links to in other places. Gifts and kids. Okay.

There are a lot of points to hit here. So we're just going to kind of run through them in no particular order. And then you can take whatever fits your lifestyle right now. First, the thing that comes up most often is quantity. More than the actual gift. I think most of you who have contacted me about this topic are concerned with like all the stuff, right? There's just so much of it. the frustration for that probably comes from one of three places storing it all and like keeping up with it so the space it takes up the money you spend on it that you maybe even potentially don't really have to spend and then the desire to teach your kids intendment right and that what they already have is enough now there are those of you who are on the other side of the spectrum you give a ton of gifts at christmas and love it you love to see your kids walk into a living room that is like basically

a mountain of gift or app. Maybe you grew up like not getting a lot of gifts, you know? And that's really important to you to give your kids a lot. Maybe your kids don't really get gifts other times of a year, you know, like you don't buy them little things at Target on a regular basis or something. Regardless of how you give gifts and what your intentions are, know that there is no judgment here.

Big Christmas, small Christmas. Like, it doesn't matter. If you want to load up the living room, load up the living room. Just know why you're doing. doing it. Don't load up the living room and then resent your kids in February for having too much stuff, right? That's where it gets tricky. But if you know why you want to limit gifts or why you want to give them excessively and then believe in that reason fully, you're all set, man, you do you. It's great. Okay, let's talk some specifics. A lot of families, including ours, a few years, have done the,

like something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. So each kid gets four things and it gives you some kind of friendly limitations when you're shopping and it communicates the importance and difference in needs and wants and encourages reading which we all want all that stuff i think that approach is really good and like i said i mean we've used that before for a few years but more in general i just like the idea of limits i think a limited budget a limited number of gifts maybe even a limited category like we're all things star wars obsession and we're just going to make it a Star Wars theme Christmas, you know, like setting some kind of parameter for yourself when you're shopping and looking around is really helpful to kind of keep things under control. So you're not just looking at everything and getting really overwhelmed.

This year, I'm pretty sure we're sticking with three gifts per kid. That's my only limit other than like price, obviously. Both of my boys have November birthdays. So we just like kind of exhausted their gift list like among us and their grandparents and other family members. for their birthdays, gifts that we are like on board with for our space and how we want to live and stuff, they've already been gotten. So, so we're sticking to three gifts per kid. And like, as you can see, for my own family, like, you don't have to do the same limits every year. Do what feels right that year. What makes the most sense for your home and your family.

If you're in the middle of selling your house or renovating or something, you do not want to add a lot of stuff. That is the worst. So this may be the year to take all the gift money that you'd spend on each other and go like on a little family trip somewhere cool like an amusement park or like just even have a day where you go through the city and everybody gets to pick something fun to do and eat and you just experience where you live with the money you'd spend on gifts that just get underfoot right just have a really fun day in your city or something now okay now what about family members who get your kids gifts what do you do about that um there are a couple of approaches it's something that

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Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. my parents and my in-laws always ask for ideas so we're really intentional about giving ideas that

everyone is good with or we'll ask um we'll ask them specifically to like not get certain things like do whatever you want but please please don't buy any more train tracks or race track with four love so you can give specific ideas of what to get or maybe what not to get now my favorite thing to suggest to grandparents and family members when you don't have any ideas of like a like a real item that you want to get is to give experiences, right? A membership to the children's museum, tickets to the zoo or the circus, a pool membership for the next summer, a train ride to a nearby city to explore, horseback riding lessons, music lessons, that kind of thing. And if you get any pushback from them in terms of like giving it a tangible gift, you know, like if a grandparent

really wants to actually give an item as well, you could tack that. It's a good. You could tack that experience, like in the form of tickets or, you know, just a print of piece of paper saying what it is, and then, like, wrap it up with a small, like, physical representation of that thing. So if it's horseback writing lessons, maybe they also give your kid riding gloves. If it's six weeks of art class, they get a new watercolor set. Tickets to an amusement park, you can tuck them into, like, a new baseball cap that they're going to wear to keep the sun out of their eyes when they walk around on whatever day they go to the park, right? there are ways to make both parties you and the person giving the gift happy when it comes to giving the gift of experiences now if that's just not going to fly if experiences are not going to fly another thing to suggest to grandparents is something small

something that takes up very little space but offers a really big payoff like a kindle reader a video game system or just a new video game um or you can suggest an upgrade on something your kid already has if they play basketball all the time in the driveway, right? But the hoop in your driveway is really old and cracked. Ask your parents to upgrade the basketball hoop. You're not adding more stuff because you're just going to get rid of the old one and you're guaranteed to get a good response from the kid because he already loves to play or she loves to play. So experiences, small things with a big payoff and then upgraded stuff that they already love. Those are my favorite ways to go when it comes to suggesting gifts for other folks to give your kids. Now, our last thought on gifts and kids.

What about gifts for other kids in your extended family? We really like getting gifts for individual cousins, but sometimes we also do like one big family gift. That's something to consider. So like tickets to something or like a really cool game for the family to share. One year, one family wasn't able to come to town for Christmas. And so since I needed to ship them a gift, it needed to be kind of like light and like a little bit small,

but still kind of fun. And so I got like a, you know, one of the boxes from the post office, like flat rate shipping boxes. And I bought a set of pajamas for every member of the family. Those are really easy to like roll up or like flat. They don't weigh a lot. And then I put a red box gift certificate

and a couple bags of popcorn in the box. It's like instant family pajama movie night. And it was a really big hit. So think in terms of like family experiences for your own giving. And you'll have so many fun ideas based on what that family loves. To the point. where you might have ideas of stuff that you want to do and you could suggest it to other people like hey can you get us a family pajama movie night um you'll get lots of ideas that way okay and then one final

thought is what to do after the holidays are over so you have all these new toys and things to trip on and take care of them what do you do with what you already have how do you balance adding to a stock of stuff that already feels really overwhelming this is where you can set a space limit and just love the limits. Set a space limit. So your home, it has a limited amount of space. No matter the size, it has a limited amount of space. And it's really tempting to just buy more baskets,

to tuck in more corners, to hold more toys. But I really encourage you to let your kids take ownership of the space and the limits that you provide them. For example, maybe they have a shelf in their room, and they can keep whatever they want as long as it fits on that shelf. If they have too much to fit on the shelf, then they need to decide what they're ready to give away. So we all have to learn our space limits and saying,

I'm only going to give, I'm only going to have a shoebox for pretty plenary organizational supplies. I'm such a sucker for like stickers and washing tape. But anything that doesn't fit in that shoe box gets the boot. So limited space, it helps us figure out what we really do want. So that could be a great way to help your kids once all the gifts have been received. Like set the space. like okay this is the box for your hot wheels cars if it doesn't fit in the box because they probably

have more than the box you know like pro tip create a space that's smaller than what they actually have so they actually are kind of forced to get rid of something um but set the space let them fill it like trust them to fill it and then find a good home for what's left over um one last reminder about kids and gifts remember that teaching your kid thankfulness is a long game you will not change their souls into like constant gratitude souls in one Christmas. It just does not happen. So be gentle with them

and be patient with them as you talk about being thankful and showing gratitude to folks who have given them stuff but also model it in your own life. I have to do that all the time. Like we're still learning as adults, right? And our kids are still learning too. I've said that a couple times actually

in a couple of places over the last few weeks but it really bears repeating. Be patient with your kids and remember that learning gratitude is a lifelong thing, right? Okay. Now, I realize that there are like so many things we could cover on the topic of gifts during the holidays. Like, it's just so broad and so varied.

It's based on so many different things. But the biggest takeaway I can give you is to just be mindful. Be mindful of your budget. Like if your budget's important, be mindful of that. Be mindful of your home and how you want it to feel in January. if having like a ton of new stuff makes the most sense right now. It might not. Be mindful of your people and who they really are and what they dream about

and look forward to when you're considering what to buy them. Just be mindful. It's like it's really easy to walk through a store and buy candles in a random sweater that's on sale and think, yeah, I think she'd probably like this. And even though there's nothing wrong with that, if your desire for giving has more layers than just something like kind of cute to wrap up, taking the time to be mindful and intentional in your giving is such a gift to you and to the person, obviously to the person, but it makes the process so much more fun for you.

So be mindful. Know what matters and be mindful. Okay. So before we go, let's do a lazy genius tip of the week. I got an email or an Instagram message from someone. I don't know who it was or where to find it, and I can't find it anywhere. So if this was you, I'm so sorry that I don't know your name. But whoever you are, this is a really fun limit when you're buying gifts for kids.

especially like nieces and nephews and that kind of thing stick with square and rectangular gifts it makes the wrapping so much easier we all know how to wrap a box right they stack and because kids would so much rather unwrap actual paper and something in a bag you're making them happy without adding like a ton of extra time with complicated wrapping so board games puzzles books stuff like that stick with rectangles and shapes I love that idea thank you whoever thought of that share that with me. I'm so sorry I didn't write your name down. But thank you for the tip and for sharing it with all of us. Okay. So that is going to do it for this episode of the lazy genius podcast.

Thank you so much for listening. And I hope to see you this Thursday on Instagram for a live conversation on this topic. And remember that the show notes for this episode are just I mean, jam packed. So hop over to the lazy geniuscollective.com slash lazy slash holiday giving to get all the things you need to know. And remember that this weekend, I'm sending out my holiday gift guide as part of the newsletter. So be sure that you join the newsletter

to get that. Okay, that is all for today. Thank you so much for listening. And remember to be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'll see you next time. If you ever felt like you were living

just a B or B plus life, it's so dangerous to live that, more dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You.

People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.