The Lazy Genius Podcast - # 418 - My Take on Kids and Technology

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

Kids and screen time. Kids and phones. Kids and rotting brains because that’s kind of what we’re afraid of. But also a lot of things about what comes out of screens are great. It just all feels like too much sometimes but never goes away. Today, I’m sharing with you my personal take on kids and technology, why I think this is hard, and some ways I approach it, both philosophically and practically, that help me parent in a heavily technological world. Helpful Companion Links Order my new book The PLAN or ask your library to consider carrying a copy. Some related episodes you may find helpful: #210 - How to Lazy Genius Kids’ Screen Time and #196 - How to Lazy Genius Adult Screen Time Learn more about The Playbooks or grab a Summer Playbook here Sign up for the Latest Lazy Listens email. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. Hey the air, you're listening to the lazy genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today is episode 418, my take on kids and technology. Oh, man, what a topic, right? If you are a parent, this feels like a whole thing. Kids and screen time, kids and phones, kids and rotting brains, because that's kind of what we're afraid of. But also a lot of things, the my of screens are great. It just all feels like too much sometimes that it also never goes away. We don't get a break from it. So today, I just want to start by saying I'm no expert. I'm not summarizing thoughts of experts here either. This is literally my take. I am sharing with you my personal take on kids and technology. Why I think this is hard in some ways that I approach it,

both philosophically and practically, that help me parent in a heavily technological world. Now, if you do not have kids, this might not be as relevant to you, but also you might need to take on technology for yourself, kids or not. I think that so much of what I want my kids to learn is what I also want to learn. I want to have a good relationship with technology, just like I want them to. And I want to do it without guilt and even with some joy. So first I'm going to share why I think this is so hard because it really is so hard. next I'm going to share some questions or thoughts, just a couple of like mindsets I have that they help me develop some house rules around technology. They might help you do the same.

And then I'm going to share what we're currently doing as a family, especially as we move into the summer season. Again, not an expert. And you might disagree with what I say and do. And that is okay. That's also one of the reasons why this is so hard, because it is in many ways such a personal relative thing. So hopefully you will feel some freedom after this episode is over and not like guilt and feeling trapped. So first let's talk about why this is so hard, why this feels so overwhelming. Even with all the information out there about kids and technology, it is still hard to know if we're doing it right. Now, maybe the answer is there is no right. And that's probably hard for some of you to accept. Regardless, there, listen, there's going to be judgment no matter what you do.

Hear me. No matter what choices you make around technology, there will be judgment existing somewhere. Okay? That's why this is hard. I spot it in four different places. First, you think other people are judging you. You're out at a restaurant with your partner and the two of you want to have a conversation so you give your toddler an iPad so you can actually talk. But then are people watching you? Are people judging you for giving your toddler an iPad? Or you're at the same restaurant with the same partner and the same kid. And that kid does what toddlers sometimes do and start screaming.

And you do not give her an iPad. And then you feel like people are judging you for not making your kid quiet down faster with a screen. Maybe your fourth grader does stuff after school and you want them to have a cell phone to get in touch with you because like schedules are weird or maybe they walk home or something you want them to have a quick way to access you but are other people judging you because your 10 year old has a phone or maybe your 10 year old does not have a phone but is the only one on the team that doesn't have a phone and it's actually making pickups more stressful for the other parents and you can tell they just wish your kid out of phone what I'm saying is no matter what you do you're probably going to feel like people

are judging your choices and the truth is they kind of probably probably are. Topics that feel high stakes that have an emotional investment that connect with kids, that connect with some level of morality, whether manufactured or actually real, actually moral, there is going to be heightened judgment. Think about all the hot topic issues in America right now. People get real judgmental no matter what you do, right? So maybe there's actually some freedom in knowing that's going to happen. Rather than try and make a choice that's free of other people's judgment, you can know right away that that is impossible, and you can instead make choices that matter to you. Another place that you might feel judgment,

because that's just one, another place you might feel judgment is you're judging yourself. You know, other people might judge you, but you are judging yourself. You beat yourself up a little bit every single time that you depend on a TV show or YouTube to entertain your kid. You look around at your family, not talking together at dinner because everyone is watching something and you feel like you should do better at this thing. You judge yourself for not learning more, for not enforcing more, or for not even being more relaxed around technology. Maybe it's the other direction.

Even you will likely judge yourself no matter your decisions. Then sometimes our judgment of ourselves, it spills over into our judgment of other. whether that's other parents, other kids, even our own kids, you see the second grader in your second graders class with a phone, and you're like, I cannot believe a second grader has a phone. But like, then you probably come home from school and your second grader immediately gets on a screen, but you feel like a hypocrite,

or you say it's different because a phone is different than a TV show. And while all of that's true, I'm just pointing out how judgment is flying, everywhere, no matter what choices are being made. Like it's gone a while to think about that, right? Sometimes judgment of myself, it spills over onto my kids or even on to my husband. I get big black trash bag energy, but towards technology. And I feel bad that everyone's on a screen.

At the same time right now, I look around, everybody's on a screen. And so I start making proclamations about new screen time rules that really I'm only creating out of a place of personal insecurity. Judgment runs rampant, y'all. So you feel judged by others. You judge yourself. You judge other people. You judge other kids. You judge your own kids. You judge your partner. And also, your kids might be judged by their peers. I'll get into the particulars of our own technological choices that do not have to be your choices. a bit later, but my boys who are both official teenagers do not have phones. They have Apple watches, but they don't have phones. And they feel judged for that by their peers. And I get it.

I get it. There are even adults in their lives who judge us for not having yet gotten our oldest kid, especially a phone. Like adults in his life are telling him that he needs a phone and that we're being too harsh by him not having one yet and that we're even being irresponsible in him not having one yet. Some of you listening might actually feel that same way about that choice that I make for my own kid. You're like, why does he not have a phone yet? And then others of you were like, yay, he doesn't have a phone yet.

Like, this is why this topic of kids and technology is so hard because we think that there are clear right and wrong answers, but also no matter what we do, we're going to be judged by someone. No matter what we do, we will wonder if this is okay. Are we making our kids rely too heavily on technology? Are we doing them a disservice by not preparing them to live in a technological world even more? We can run ourselves into the ground trying to figure it all out. But my take on this judgment piece is that no matter what I do, someone isn't going to like it. no matter what I do in any given day in regards to my kids and screens, somebody is not going to like it. And I actually find that freeing. It is a waste of time and energy to worry about looking

for this like secret formula on how to handle kids in technology because there just isn't one. There isn't one. It's like pretty much everything else. There are so many ways to do things. And you get to choose what makes the most sense for your season of life, for your family culture, for your kids' personalities, for your needs, for your personal priorities, and no matter what you choose, someone's not going to like it. So just choose what makes the most sense for you. Okay, so now let's talk about some practical stuff. The ride that steals the spotlight every time it hits the road, that's the Volkswagen TIG one. Its sleek exterior makes a first impression you can't ignore.

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So there's judgment no matter what. Yay, what a relief. So once we separate ourselves from the judgment of others and even our judgment of ourselves, then what? Then what do we do? Okay, for me, I have a couple of mindsets that help me make decisions that feel the best for my family, just a couple of pieces of permission. So the first thing I like to remember is that screens are multifacted. There are so many different kinds of screens. There's so many different ways to use them. There's not like one big bucket of technology where the same approach works across the board for all of it or across the board for all the same people in your family. Screens are multifaceted and so are people. So there's a difference between like watching YouTube on an iPad in your room versus watching YouTube on the TV in the living room, right? There are phones. and when kids can have them, and once they get them what they can be used for, there's like social media questions and texting limits, and can your kids FaceTime their friends whenever they want? You know, there's like weird things with the phone. I think we would all agree that watching a movie

for two hours versus watching YouTube shorts or TikToks for two hours are two different experiences. It's not that one is wrong and the others, right? But I think we can agree that the experience is different, but the time limits the same. Like the time is the same, right? So maybe your limits for different things are different, but why? So in many ways, like, screen time cannot be boiled down to simply, like, a single amount of time because of all the different kinds of screen exposure

your kids might get. Like Annie likes to watch these videos where kindergarten teachers read books out loud to kids. Now, if she wants to do that for a long time, I'm more willing to let her as opposed to like watching YouTubers figure out all the things that they can crush with a monster truck, you know? Or, and this is like, this is super honest. So if I like a video, if I personally like it, I am more willing to let my kid watch it for longer, especially if I'm in the room. Like I like the dude perfect guys.

I think their videos are like usually like really funny and well edited. I like that there's space in them. They're not all yelling at top volume all the time. I don't love, like I don't love Preston and Brianna. I don't love them. If Annie asks to keep watching a Dude Perfect video versus a Brianna video, I am more likely to say yes to the Dude Perfect video because I like it more. Now, if that isn't some weird rule breaking, but like it's good for us to notice.

that kind of thing, right? So screens are multifaceted in type, in time, in purpose, based on the kids' ages, based on what we like, based on their own ability to limit themselves, like all kinds of things. So remembering that, it helps me start small and stay small and not bring big black trash bag energy into the whole thing. Because the whole thing is super different. And to end. We can't just treat it all the same. The second thing I like to remember is that seasons matter. Seasons matter. The way that I handle kids and screens across seasons of the calendar and seasons of life that are vastly different, vastly different. The same is likely true for you. Your season of life, the ages of your kids, what's going on in your body, what's going on with your job, what's going on

with the weather, whether they're in school or not, all kinds of things will impact your decisions around kids and tech and that's good. That is not something to freak out about because you have to change the rules. It's freeing. Live in the season. Some seasons require a different approach than others, which leads me to the next bit, which really is encouraging. I hope it encourages you as you think about kids in technology based on the season you're in. But like the way that we handle screens during the school year on a school day versus the week. weekend is very different and it's also different from each other and then it's also different compared to how we handle screen time during this summer and it's going to change again.

So what we're doing now is not going to stay because we're moving into a new season, right? So rather than thinking in like broad strokes with these definitive rules that are going to apply now and also apply forever, I want you to just think about the season that you're in, now. Be encouraged by that. Be encouraged about where you are right now and just tend to that space, you know? Like what challenges does this season create around tech? What limitations and freedoms feel really necessary right now around your kids in tech? Make small decisions and adjust them over time. Remember, you're going to be, you're going to be judged no matter what. So like, try and let that go. Do what's best for you in the season that you're in and make choices for that season

now, now is not forever. Remember, now is not forever. Okay. So here is a peek into what it will likely look in the Adachi household this summer. This is our take for this season, just to give you some context. I'm not saying like, follow this or do this. This is just what we're doing. And in the same way that I do like, what saving my life and chores I do every day? It's not that you should do them. It's just to give you, like, a glimpse into someone else's life that may give you an idea for your own. Okay. So our kids listen our kids love tech they love screens and different facets do different things right different kids do different things like annie annie loves watching uh youtube she loves watching teen titans go it's like her favorite show which tells you something about her sense of humor um she loves to watch that on the

ipad she loves playing one two switch with her dad which is like a different energy right because it's like moving around and being with another person she loves watching those like would you you rather quizzes on YouTube? Like, would you choose, like, the Snickers bar or, I don't know, something else made of chocolate? And she, like, wants to watch those in the living room on the TV and invite other people to watch them with her and we answer them together. She loves videos where someone reads to her.

She does those art videos where she, like, follows a tutorial to, you know, draw a kitten coming out of an ice cream cone or whatever. She likes watching, y'all, she likes watching Tournament of Champions on the Food Network with her lovely parents. She digs a food competition show. So that's all kinds of things, right? Ben, he loves listening to music and listening to audiobooks. He can do that all day long.

He also plays Minecraft and Zelda on the Switch. He watches like sports videos on YouTube where people make lists of like, you know, the 10 best running backs to come out of the SEC or stuff like that. He also enjoys a movie here or there. He's more of the movie kid of the three. of my kids who don't like movies. He also digs Terminim Champions. He loves that a lot. He, as I mentioned in the WhatSafe My Life episode recently, Kid loves family feud. Oh, my goodness. And then he loves watching most sports on television, as do Cause and myself. So we love watching

all kinds of games on TV. Sam, my oldest, he composes music on his computer all of the time. He also plays, I didn't tell you guys this. It doesn't really matter, but like he won a composition competition this spring. Like he's very good at composing, but even if he wasn't, like that's what he loves to do. So he spends a lot of time doing it. I think that's great. He plays a lot of chess on his computer. He texts his friends.

He plays Minecraft and like Mario racing stuff on the switch. He watches those same sports videos that Ben does. He watches games with us. He watches YouTube videos of competitive marching bands, like marching band competitions, concert band competitions, anything music. He also loves family feud. Anyway, he doesn't like movies. He runs away whenever we start a movie. So, like, all of our kids love different types of screens, different types of things on them, some communal, some not, like it's, and different from each other, right? All different from each other. Other contextual things. So Ben and Sam already mentioned,

they're 13 and 15 right now. And they both have watches, they both have Apple watches, which they they charge outside of their rooms when they go to bed. And Annie is nine and she has nothing. And the boys don't have phones. My guess is that once Sam gets his license, we will get him an actual phone. I don't know what the limitations on that phone are going to be. I'm guessing not any social media for a little while, although he doesn't care too much about that because he doesn't have access to it.

But he has, I've mentioned this before, Sam has ADHD, which means he doesn't have a lot of impulse control, which I mean, most teenage boys feel like they don't, but he very much doesn't. And so I think giving him, it'll be necessary to give him some stronger parameters on the phone while he learns to live with it, right? And while his brain develops, I don't want to just give him a phone. But for like navigation and music and all those kinds of things, I think once he starts driving on his own, that's probably when we'll get him a funk. Sam has a desktop computer in his room, some ideas for like house rules in terms of kids and their screens. The screen of that computer, it faces his door. And the rule is that his door has to be open

when he's on his computer. And so, and his, we pass his room constantly. So we're able to see what's going on and can kind of help keep him in check based on if he's, you know, not allowed to like be on YouTube right now, but he can be composing. We can very easily see what he's doing. and then Ben has a laptop that he will sometimes have in his room and we'll do the same thing. We'll do just checks on a regular basis to make sure. I mean, we want them to make wise choices with whatever they're watching. But also, like how many times have you gotten on your phone and for one reason and you got distracted and 20 minutes later you're not doing what you intended to do?

You know, that's something else we want to. I'll ask Ben all the time. Like, hey, what's you watching? and I'll show me. And then I'm like, cool, is that how you want to be spending your screen time right now? Just making sure. And he's like, actually, I got distracted. Thanks. Or he's like, no, this is what I'm choosing. You know, like, I think it's good for us to pay attention to the fact that sometimes we're not spending our time on our screens doing the thing we initially intended to do because of how those platforms are often built, right? And just teaching our kids to notice that kind of thing. So those are the boys. And then Annie does not have anything that is just.

just hers, but there is an iPad that, like, she usually used, she's the one who uses it the most for, like, her things. She also uses the TV a lot, and then we have a Nintendo Switch. We also love Sonos speakers, and we have them all over the house, including in the kids' rooms. We have a few knockoff brands that are connected to the Sonos system in the rooms. So music and audio books are easy to access, like everywhere. So we have a lot of screens. We have a lot of tech, and our kids enjoy their screen time for sure. They really have a lot of things that they love doing when it comes to screens. In the way that we manage those screens and the screen time during the school year, like I said, is so different than what we do during the summer. If given the opportunity,

and I think this is true of a lot of people, if given the opportunity, my kids would probably do screen time all day long. They all have enough things that they love. They also, like their mother hate heat and hate bugs and they don't love going outside unless it is for a very specific purpose or person but mostly purpose which is also true of me like we just all enjoy being home we are as jim gaffigan says a very indoorsy family and i'm honestly great with that but i also understand that an indoorsy family during the summer when there aren't real reasons to go out every day like a school and work, that indoorsy family is in danger of turning into an endorsy lump of a family. And so we have to create some different boundaries during this season,

which again, it's true of everyone, right? It's true of everyone. Different seasons require different things. So when it comes to the summer, I am actually great if my kids enjoy all kinds of different screens and technology, just like I enjoy mine. But here's what matters to me. Okay. And this is, We all need to name this for ourselves. For ourselves. I have three priorities. It is important that, A, I am not a screen manager all the time. No, I'm not doing that.

I'm not doing that. I'm mad. I'm not going to be a screen manager. Okay? I have to do something else. B, it is important to me that the kids practice managing their own days, which includes technology time. I'm not going to be the one who's managing everybody's days and schedules and energy, right? They need to start to develop responsibility in that. And then C, it's important that

they experience, whether by force or by choice, other enjoyable activities during their days. I want them to do things that are fun or contribute to their own health or society in general, you know? Want them to practice other things, enjoying other things. Screen time is not the only thing. So here is the main way this is going to work. We started doing this, this approach like two or three summers ago, and it was wildly successful. Now, who knows if it will be successful this year because things change. But I'm hopeful. We'll see. We've got to start somewhere. There are kind of two main components here. The first is that each kid has a list, a very short list, but a list of sort of technological things that they

can do without asking. They can do them without asking. So Sam, he can compose music anytime he wants. He is currently working on a marching band version of the song, What You Want, by the band Lawrence, which is a great song. And when he was like, I think this would be a great marching band song. I was like, oh my gosh, dude, you are so right. So he's working on that right now. And I wanted to keep working on it because I want to hear it. Oh my goodness. Okay. So Sam, he can compose music anytime he wants, he can also play along with, I mean, he can practice music anytime he wants, but he can play along with, like, YouTube videos of performers anytime he wants as long as, like, no one is asleep and would be awakened by his very loud saxophone or even louder melophone.

Ben can do the same. He also loves to play along with, like, YouTube videos. He plays the clarinet, and so he loves to do that. He can also listen to audiobooks or band music anytime he wants. I have two band nerds is my favorite. And, like, that's what he loves the most. He loves music. He loves band music and he loves audiobooks. Like, rock it out, dude. We're also fine if he watches anything on TV having to do with football within reason because he's like legit obsessed with football.

So for the most part, if he's watching something on the TV, unless it's for like eight hours and a row, we're like, hey, dude, it's time, it's time to, it's time to be done. Like, we need to move around. We need to go get some vitamin D outside, you know. But for the most part, he didn't, he doesn't really do that anyway, but he does enjoy watching like football commentary or clip shows or actual games. And then Annie, her kind of like you don't have to ask list is art videos. She loves doing art along with art videos. Those reading videos I mentioned where someone reads you a book. She loves doing those and she can do those pretty much whenever. And then listening to music, music's on all the time in her house. Or even like she can there, she loves the voice. And so she will play.

the video of a voice YouTube video, but she will just listen to it. Like it'll be like a long clip show of voice auditions. So she'll just listen to that while she's like playing Barbies or something. Okay. So anyway, they still kind of ask to do those things sometimes, especially Annie. But those are things that's easy to have like the decide once. The answer is yes. Like there's a list of things that they don't really have to ask to do.

And that's fine. It's fine with me. Okay. Now the only time I would say the answer is no. is sort of like I said before, is if they've already spent a lot of time in front of a screen or doing some other kind of screen time and they just need a shift in activity. If it's like they finish the screen time that they're allowed to have and then they're like, okay, I'm going to immediately do a different kind of screen time. Usually we're like, hey, buffer, baby, let's go do something

else just for a little while, you know? So anyway, that's really one we would say like actively no when they need to shift activity. But that's sort of where the second piece of our summer approach comes in. This is like the main component. Okay. So, For a long time, we did the thing that a lot of us do, where kids have to check off a certain number of things on a list before they get screen time that day, right? I think if you have kids, we've all done it. And it works fine. Like, it's a great plan.

There's nothing wrong with it. But what ended up happening for us, at least, is that our kids, they basically just like rushed through their entire list or they would manage their day really weird in order to get to that day's screen time. or they would be upset if, like, there were family plans they didn't know about at a certain time of day that was going to be part of their screen time. I don't know. It's just like they were having that list for that day, right, to get screen time that day.

It's like it made screen time that day the entire priority. Like, everything revolved around when and if they were going to get screen time that day. And so a couple of years ago, we made a shift. because it was just exhausting. I still had to manage everything I felt because I was managing emotions, which I suppose I don't have to do that, but it's really hard for me not to. So anyway, we made a shift a couple of years ago, and this is what the shift looks like. Each summer day, this is not what we do during the school year.

This is what we do during the summer. Each summer day, I will share like a basic schedule of the day, which really just means, like, you know, somebody has a haircut at 10. or we're going to the pool after lunch, or here's a big project we're all working on for a couple hours this morning or whatever it is. Like, just like these are big things that are going on today, if anything. And then each kid has a list of things to do, some things they really enjoy, others they don't.

It's fine. But they have to do that, those things, in order to have access to screen time, the next day, the next day. right so in order for them to get screen time the next day all of the things today have to be done um i don't know why that small shift made such a big difference but it made such a big difference and that list is things like there's movement of some kind right there's reading of a book there's probably chores there's doing something special with a friend there's walking down the street to visit their grandma you know like every day i'm wanting them to know

the different kinds of tasks and activities that people do that are helpful to us physically, emotionally, creatively, creatively, and then even practically to like keep your house going, right? But their participation in those tasks is not about getting screen time that day at the end of that day. It's just making screen time an option tomorrow in whatever way it fits. that has helped us so much. So if we were, let's say we were walking through the lazy genius method for this, prioritize,

essentialize, organize, organize, personalized, and systemize. This is kind of what it would look like. We just did that sort of, but this is what it looks like laid out specifically. So prioritize. The priority for me,

really the ultimate one is to not have to constantly be managing screen time. I just can't. I just can't. So that's the main priority. Next, essentialize. What's in the way of that? What's in the way of me being able to just like be a person and not be a screen manager? Well, probably the lack of clarity for the kids, right, if they don't really know what to expect for their screen time on a certain day, for their relationship to technology over time, all of those things. So a lack of clarity is in the way. A grip, my grip, on thinking that there is a right way to do this that is free from judgment, which is hilarious. not happening, right? That's going to be in the way if I hold on to that. And then also if I hold on to this thought that like one big system is going to cover everything, nope, that's absolutely in the way, absolutely in the way. Okay, so the third step is organize. What needs to be put in place? Okay,

well, I already shared that. It's like these daily expectations, the you don't have to ask list, the daily plans that the kids might not know about, them knowing those things, right, put those in their place. And then having this access to screen time for the next day. That's putting screen time questions in their appropriate place in a way that works for us. Okay. And then the fourth one is personalized. How do I feel like myself in this? So I'm going to create house rules and rhythms that help me not feel like I'm a mean micromanager. And I also want to let the kids feel like themselves by letting them enjoy things, even things on screens that they love and that they don't have to necessarily ask about. Right.

I think it's good for us to enjoy the things that we love. That's okay. In our house, it's okay. And then finally, systemize, that's the fifth one. How do I keep all of this in a flow? So we have these dry erase clipboards. We don't use the clipboard part really, but they're just like little dry erase boards. There's one for each kid.

We've used them for several summers now. And I just put their daily stuff on that board. And as long as I do that, each morning, the system flows because it's connected to tomorrow. Like it just keeps, it just keeps it going. Plus, I load up on the principles of starting small, of being willing to adjust when things are not working, like valuing, adjusting, and noticing just as much as I do preparing, so, so much. And then I'm being kind to myself and my family, right?

When my screen time insecurities and judgment get in a tizzy, because they sometimes get in a tizzy. So to kind of recap here, you're going to be judged no matter what. You're going to be judged no matter what. Some of you are judging me right now and that's okay. So maybe a helpful take here is to accept that judgment and move on for yourself and then pay attention to the season that you are in and what that season needs. When I was pregnant with Ben and I had a crazy 18-month-old Sam running all over the place, he watched so much PBS and I had so many hours laden with guilt but you know what that is what

I needed I was like practically immobile I was absolutely exhausted that pregnancy not me literally flat and I didn't know what else to do Daniel Tiger saved the day Daniel Tiger saved the day and that's okay certain seasons need certain things now and also if you disagree with me on that that's also okay. If you disagree with other people and their choices, also okay. But I think that what we all should remember is if we can kind of keep that judgment to ourselves and simply just make the choices best suited for our own families and our own priorities rather than telling other people what they're doing wrong when right and wrong is a little more murky, maybe. I think we'll build better communities of parents and people who are just trying to figure out how to be a person.

Like, judgment doesn't really get a lot done, you know? But I think kindness and curiosity usually do. That goes for you personally. That goes for you and your own kids, for you towards other people. We don't always know the whole story. We don't always know the whole story. And people get to make their own decisions, which can be and often will be different from mine and different from yours. You can disagree with them. You can. And people can disagree with you. but you can also stay kind in that space and maybe keep the judgment to yourselves. And then do what you need in the season that you're in. Now is not forever.

It's going to be okay. And that is my non-expert take on kids and technology. Okay, real quick, we've had, at last I counted, it was like almost 1,500 orders for the playbooks in just the last, like, couple of weeks, which is amazing. And I'm so pumped for y'all that you are pursuing. this very compassionate way to plan a season. Like I have said many times, particularly last week and last week's episode, the playbooks are sincerely, sincerely, my favorite planning tool ever. And I cannot wait for those of you who have not gotten well yet to get one. So when this episode comes out, it'll be May 19th, likely still time for you to get your playbook before June gets here if you order fast. But also,

speed is not necessary, right? It's not necessary. Even if you forget to order one until a week or two from now or even like the end of June, middle of July, summer's almost over. Like, you'll still have plenty of summer life to think about, right? That's big black trash bag energy talking and be like, if it doesn't count for the whole thing, it doesn't count at all. You know, we just get this like frantic breathlessness about having to do it all at once. You don't have to see it that way. It's okay. So don't worry if you don't get to start before June 1st, even though that's when the playbook starts, no big deal. But if you want to, if that does matter even a little, now is a great time to order so you can have a decent shot at getting that in time. You can find all the details about the playbooks

as well as answers to your questions at the lazy genius collective.com slash playbooks. Or you can listen to last week's episode. All right, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week, it's Amy Loder. Amy writes, we wanted to prioritize one-on-one time with each of our five kids. So we gave each kid a special day during the week. Our oldest is always on a Monday. And during their day, they get to pick what music we listen to, what color of dinner plate they get, and where they sit at the table, et cetera, et cetera. Basically anything that they would normally squabble over.

On their day, they also are the special helper to let the dog out or wipe down the counters. We also rotate every Thursday night. We are on a four-day school week, so no school on Fridays. So every Thursday night, we let one of them stay up 30 to 60 minutes. after bedtime to do whatever they want to do with mom and dad. Often our kids will get one-on-one time with one parent, but this system has really worked well to allow each of our kids' time with both parents. What a great idea this is, Amy. We did something similar to this a few years ago when there was like so much squabbling among my three kids during the summer about like all those

kinds of things like you said, like who was going to sit in the front seat. Oh, what music we were going to listen to. Oh, my goodness. It just drove me nuts. And so we rotated whose day it was. Also, I got a day too. I got a day too. Sometimes I want to pick the music. Sometimes I don't want to eat on plastic colored plates. I want to eat on the real plates. But sharing the choices and sharing the chores is such a great approach that definitely does work for some families. And I also love this extra bedtime idea. That's really sweet. And I bet it's creating some fun memories for your kids, Amy. I think that's really lovely. So thank you for sharing and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network.

This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. Thanks y'all for listening, and until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous. than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of

becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.