The Lazy Genius Podcast - #43: The Lazy Genius and Self Care

Episode Date: December 11, 2017

It's easy to lose ourselves in the holidays... which is why we so look forward to the clean start of January. But do we have to wait with our shoulders clenched, crossing our fingers that we can present with the month also finishing quickly? I hope not, but you know. In this episode, let's talk about what it means to take care of ourselves during a busy season. Spas are optional. Some of my favorite self-care items: this cleansing oil from Some Call Me Crunchy my Penny and Sparrow playlist baking bread with Paul This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen, these little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo. Chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, Fruit Flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. Hi, friends. You're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Today's episode is episode 43, The Lazy Genius and Self Care. This episode wasn't in the original holiday game plan plan. We were going to talk about something completely different, but here in the middleish of December, I am feeling a little scattered. Maybe you are too. We have been really intentional so far this season about letting go of things that aren't important.

We have created opening and closing ceremonies for our individual holidays so we can stay present and not get swept up in Christmas crazy in the middle of October. So many of you have actually emailed and messaged me on Instagram to say that your holidays, they feel slower, they're more gentle, they're more you because of this series. And I love that. oh my gosh, I'm just, what an honor to be a tiny part of your life and your celebrations. But I want to also say that even with all of that intentionality, it's still busy. Like, it still can feel really overwhelming.

You still might think sometimes like, oh, we can just get to January. Like, you can plan and relax and add margin to your schedule. You can do all the right things, quote unquote, right things. And December especially is still just like, bono, bonkers busy. It just is. So first, I want to air fist bump you and let you know that you are not doing anything wrong if you're feeling busy and tired. So fist bump. There you go. It's just super normal. So is there any hope? Like, do we just blow through December, try and enjoy it the best we can and finally feel like we can breathe in January? I don't think so. I don't want to do that. I don't

want to live that way and I don't think you do either. I don't want to just survive December. I think we can still take steps to enjoy these next few weeks without feeling like we're going crazy. Because again, lazy genius in Christmas, it isn't a free pass for like calm, silent nights. So today I want to talk about self-care. That term is actually kind of a bummer for me because it's become super weighty recently, I feel like. You know, I remember a long time ago, Oprah was the first one who, well, that I really remember in, like, popular culture, she was the first one to tell us that if we're not taking care of ourselves first, then we can't take care of anyone else. Which kind of sounds right in some ways, but also feels a little bit wonky sometimes. And then there's the whole conversation around, like, if self-care is actually just an excuse for us to do what we want and kind of turn to blind eye to the needs around us.

it just has a lot of nuance around it and like visions of pedicures and buying new shoes and entire days of that responsibility kind of flowed through my head you know so today I would love for us to talk briefly about what self-care as a lazy genius actually means ways you can practically practice it and why it's important because I really think for these next few weeks it really is it's kind of integral if you want to stay sane even in your intentional slowing down of this month. So first thing, when I say self-care, what do I mean? Self-care is doing something that makes you feel like yourself. That's all. That's literally all. That's my definition. And that's why it's such an important thing for us to talk about in the middle of December. Think about it. Okay. If your schedule is more full than normal, and I think it is for all of us, right. Even with good things like parties and family and baking and gifts, like it still feels like a lot. Like this past weekend or two weekends ago, my family, we did kind of our Christmas opening ceremonies, which is like all this stuff that happens in our town on this same weekend every single year.

We have a parade. They let a Christmas tree downtown. And then there are all these luminaries that go through this other park. And like it is a full weekend. It's a full like 36 hours, but it's so much fun. It's Friday night, Saturday day, Saturday night. Well, Sunday morning, we were like, let's not go to church. Like, we love going to church. We love our church. But we had just felt like we were going, going, going. And we just needed just to kind of slow down.

And it was so amazing. And so I just say that as an example. Like, even if your schedules are filled with things that you absolutely love, it can still feel like a lot. It can still feel really, it can still feel really busy. And like, oh, I just, oh my goodness, I need a break. so if you're feeling that way it's okay it's super super normal um because managing good things it's still managing things you know it still requires brain power that you might not have

i think that's why we so desperately crave things um to get back to normal like it's not so much the schedule of December like the busyness and like that we're going to more stuff because I mean we do go to more stuff but it's the decisions connected to that stuff we're having to choose more things than we usually do. We have to choose what to wear to the office Christmas party, how to fit in dinner before the flu recital, how to grocery shop for regular life, and the big Christmas baking day, and your cousin and his family coming for dinner over the weekend. We don't have routines built into the holidays.

And so our capacity to make decisions, it grows weary way earlier than usual in the day. Because if you probably have heard this before, and I've said this on the podcast before we have a finite number of decisions we can make every day. That's why at the end of the day, it's just like, somebody choose. I don't care. I don't care. Like, that's why it's better to choose what's for dinner in the morning than in the evening because in the morning you haven't run out of your quota yet. You still have decision making ability by 4 o'clock. And in December, it's more like 2 o'clock. I mean, you're just toast. So that's why it can feel really heavy in December, because our capacity to make decisions is just depleted super fast.

And that's why January feels so beautiful. It's like a beacon in the night. It's like, oh, if we can just get into the season where we can be on autopilot again, without consequence, bliss. Like, it just, I mean, it just would feel so great to kind of live that way a little bit right now. And I believe that that is where self-care comes in. That is where doing things that make you feel the most like yourself. That's where it's important.

Okay, so if you're choosing to do things that make you feel like yourself, that fill your bucket and they recharge your soul, right? You're going to be able to go into those sort of extraordinary events feeling more like yourself. Most of us have recharging kind of built into our regular days, like our regular January through November days. like on the couch after the kids go to bed you take a walk after dinner you get together with a group of girlfriends once or twice a month and you crochet and you talk about nothing and everything

and so often those things they feel ordinary January or November but they kind of get put on hold in December if you think about it like those evening walks they might not happen as much because it gets darker earlier and you just have more things to do you have more places to go at night

sitting on the couch at the end of the day. You don't really sit anymore. Instead, you're like, robin Christmas presents, and you're sorting through, like, the mountain of our projects that are coming from your kids' school. And then, like,

even a couple of the groups that I kind of get together with on a monthly basis or so, we don't even meet in December because it's busy. You know, so, like, we might not even realize that we are losing the things that make us feel like ourselves. Just because it's,

December and then we find ourselves shaking her fist at December like why aren't simpler things happening like why does my life feel so crazy and it's because because you think like well I've I've let some of these things go that I used to do that you know we canceled the book club well it's like maybe that book club made you feel like a person and if you lose that and your life gets a little bit crazier you're gonna feel wonky like that's just how it's going to happen and that is okay so when it comes to self-care, I think we just have to be a little bit more intentional because our routine ways of feeling like a person just might be gone right now. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work

of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. We just need to make it a priority. And so that is what this episode is about. It's just reminding us to make it a priority. So what makes you feel like a person? You probably already know the answer to that question. But here is just one simple guidepost to kind of help you. Because what makes you feel like a person, the other 11 months of the year? It might not be as effective right now just because of how busy it is, because it's such a different time of year.

So here is the lens that works so well for me, and I think it might good for you too. And that is do something slow. Bake bread. Build a fire. Wash your face slowly. Put on lotion and crawl into bed with a thick book like way before you feel tired. Instead of like frantically cleaning the kitchen at the end of the day, light some candles and turn on music, take a walk, breathe.

Like, really, we just need to breathe. That's the biggest thing is breathing really slowly. Now, these, okay, these things are not new ideas. Like, I realize this, I'm not saying anything brilliant. If I had a dollar for every time somebody told me to slow down, I would super have, like, a live and maid right now. It's so many dollars. But we keep hearing that, right?

We keep hearing that sentiment, like, just slow down, just slow down, man. Why do we keep hearing that? Because we don't do it very well. We don't slow down and notice that we're slowing down on purpose. I might take a few minutes to distract myself from the freneticness of life by scrolling Instagram. But that is not intentionally slowing down. If I took those same 10 minutes to make myself a cup of tea and sit on the front porch, it would do a world of difference to my soul.

It would be a vastly different experience than spending on Instagram. Now, I'm not saying that you need to stop. looking at Instagram. I will never stop looking at Instagram. I adore Instagram. But you know what I have done this month? I unfollowed, y'all. I unfollowed over half of the accounts of my fate more than half of various. Because I really was feeling like that time became like a chore almost. Like I want to be on Instagram and I want to keep up with people and I want to see all the pretty pictures and read all the pretty words. But it started to become like soul pulling instead of soul. feeling. And so I bear bones that feed, man, and I only follow accounts, at least for right now. I probably will follow them again come January. But for right now, I unfollowed so many things,

so many accounts, and I only kept the ones that bring me just insane amounts of life. I have started to read real books instead of watch TV as much, at least. I still watch TV, let's be real. That's ridiculous. But I am choosing books more than TV a little bit right now. And again, I think that is just a little bit more for this season. But doing things as slowly and without technology as much as possible has been a remarkable difference maker in my soul. And I believe that that desire is in all of us. I really do. We all really do love simple and slow if we just take the time to do it. The trick is to do it and then not feel guilty for the times that we don't do it, right?

You are not a bad person if you watch TV. You are not doing it wrong if you veg out with Instagram and Facebook. You are not shallow because you love to go shopping. Like those, oh my word, we all have such different things that make us feel like ourselves and we should do them. We should super do them. But my suggestion, just for this month for how busy, unusually busy it feels, even with the good things. My suggestion is to do things that are slow and as simple as they can be.

So let's engage our senses, right, with things like candles and great music and Christmas cookies that you take an entire morning to make and not be frantic about it. When we actively engage in that kind of self-care, when we are intentional about doing things that make us not only feel like a person, but we're like rooted to like humanity and the earth to the deepest, most joyful parts of being human. I think it just really empowers us to move into things like Christmas plays and office parties and taking ham and macaroni salad to a big family Christmas party. It helps us do those things with greater ease with a deeper sense of ourselves. And even if it's just for like a little while, we lose that kind of low level

franticness that we've all been feeling just under the surface. So I think if we stick with the simple things for the rest of December. And they're so lazy genius because they require practically nothing, but they have such a big payoff. Like you can light a pretty candle and get under a blanket and feel better. Are you kidding? Like that works. That is a solution I can get behind. So don't ignore those simple things. Make them the most important, at least for right now. You know, and I really think that you will see such a difference in the rest of your month. If you have any thoughts or questions about self-care, I would love to talk with you about them on Thursday, December 14th.

This episode is coming out on December 11th. So this Thursday, around 1215, I say around because it all depends on my daughter going to sleep like an accommodating human. So I will be on Instagram around 1215 Eastern Time. this Thursday, I'll be there live to answer your questions, to share some ideas if you're interested. And I've loved how in the past few lives we've done how you guys are encouraging each other with ideas and answering each other's questions. Like, it's just really fun to see everybody kind of pull their lazy genius. It's a blast to watch. So please join me on Instagram at 1215 Eastern on Thursday, December 14th. So as we close up shop, in the spirit of self-care,

The lazy genius tip of the week is to make a playlist. It might be Christmas music or not. It might be super energetic or really low key. Like it all depends on you and what you need. Just ask yourself, what mood do you feel most to yourself? Like what type of song transports you to the most like anchored version of who you are? Mine is Penny and Sparrow. I turn on Penny and Sparrow and it's like I know myself again.

It's very weird, but it works. So I listen to Penny and Sparrow. every night before I go to bed now. Like once I realized that, I was like, oh, Penny and Sparrow makes me feel like Kendra. I listen to it before I go to bed and it sort of like settles me down and my brain doesn't get all squirrely and I can just go to sleep like a person. It's amazing. It's magic. So pay attention to what music does that for you and then play it. Like just play that music a lot. And you can use, you know, Spotify and on Pandora to find other artists that are similar, you know, who sound kind of the same might do the same thing for you. Is that one

band or singer that you can think of, but play that music as often as you can't. It is, it's just about as lazy as you can get because you click a button on your phone or your computer, but the payoff is just huge. So be a lazy genius about music this month. And your future soul will, thank you. Okay, so that is it for today, you guys. I will, I'll link to a few playlists and like a few of my favorite self-care items in the show notes for this episode. so you can check those out at the lazy geniuscollective.com slash lazy slash self-care, one word. Thank you so much for listening.

And remember, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'll see you next time. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it.

You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.