The Lazy Genius Podcast - #434 - 10 Ways I Feel Like Myself

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

I get this question a lot, “How do you figure out what makes you feel like yourself? Is it even possible when you’re wearing all the hats and pulled in all the directions?” I’ve always said yes it is. You just have to find the things that make you feel like you. Well, when I started working on this episode and made my list of things, I found a level of nuance I’ve never really named before. Essentially, there are things that wake you up and other things that fill you up, and that difference might make a difference. Let’s get into it! Helpful Companion Links Order my new book The PLAN or ask your library to consider carrying a copy. I'll be talking with Jen Hatmaker about her new book, Awake, at Festival of Books and Authors in Winston-Salem on Saturday, September 27th. There are tons of sessions to see and authors to meet, and the event is free to the public. Bookmarks in Winston-Salem, NC Episode #258: The Seven Kinds of Rest and How to Know Which One You Need Breezy Instrumental Playlist (Spotify) Sign up for our every-other-week podcast recap email called Latest Lazy Listens. Sign up for my once-a-month newsletter, The Latest Lazy Letter. Sign up for The Book List Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. Want to share your Lazy Genius of the Week idea with us? Use this form to tell us about it. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This podcast isn't about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently. On this podcast, we value contentment, compassion, and living in our season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And I'm so glad you're here. Today is episode 434. 10 ways I feel like myself. So I get this question a lot. How do you figure out what makes you feel like yourself? Is it even possible when you're wearing all the hats and pulled in all the directions?

I've always said, yes, it is. You just have to find the things that make you feel like you. Well, when I started working on this episode and I made my list of things, I found a level of nuance. I've never really named before. Essentially, there are things that wake you up and other things that fill you up. And that difference might make a difference. So we will get into it and I'm so excited. Now, as for the rest of the episode, today's a little extra something is newsletter corner where I share a peek into what's inside last week's latest lazy letter, as well as a peek

behind the scenes of how I put those newsletters together. As always, we'll have the lazy genius of the week and we'll end with a mini pep talk on accepting help. Before we do, I wanted to let you know that I'm going to be at the Festival of Books in Winston-Salem, North Carolina on Saturday, September 27th. I have the exciting privilege of being Jen Hatmakers' conversation partner to get into her new memoir, awake. And that event is free to attend. It is a huge festival. It's run so well by the team at Bookmarks Bookstore, which is one of my absolute favorite indie stores ever. There are going to be some amazing authors at this thing this year. So if you are close enough to the Winston-Salem area and you love to read, you should come to the festival of books.

So we will put a link to the festival in the show notes. All right, let's get into 10 ways I feel like myself. This topic reminds me of an episode that we did a while back on rest, Episode 258, the seven kinds of rest, and how to know which one you need. We often say around here that we need to rest. Schedule rest is an original lazy genius principle. We all know. Rest, especially thoughtful, intentional rest, it really matters. But there are also different kinds of rest, right, that you might need.

Knowing the difference can kind of help you know specifically what to do. So like a couple of the different types from that episode were relax, reset and recharge. Like those are all different. What drives you to need to relax is likely different from what drives you to need to recharge. Relaxing is like pausing productivity so you can enjoy yourself while recharging is doing something intentional that fills you up after being emptied out. Like those are different things, right?

And in many ways, what we do to feel like ourselves is its own kind. of rest. I always feel like Michael Scott when I start a sentence this way, but the dictionary defines rest as to cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength. It's, you know, it's stopping the hustle, the work, the production, the responsibilities to do something completely different that brings you back to some level of personal equilibrium. Now, the difference between a conversation about rest and this one, about feeling like yourself is that we're trying to identify how you can continue to show up in the world as your most authentic, integrated self. And that is not just about restful things.

We want to move towards wholeness. And that means being able to identify things that make you feel most wholly you, restful or not. Because as you do things that make you feel like yourself, you're going to have a tether to who you are and not get lost in the busyness of a day or even of like a long, hard season like motherhood where a lot of us tend to lose ourselves by regularly cultivating things that make you feel like yourself. You'll be more connected as a whole person and won't feel as fragmented as you move from roll to roll and task to task because you're you're, you're, regularly tapping into what makes you you, not just a person with this job or not just a mom or

not just a partner or not just a whatever. So naming what makes you feel like yourself and then making time to do those things is a super helpful step in becoming more and more integrated. If you're new here, I spend a good bit of time talking about integration in my most recent book, The Plan. It's a book about compassionate time management that focuses on contentment and integration, not on productivity and getting everything done. Now, you can certainly get your stuff done, and frankly, you need to. But you don't have to approach it as though it's like the center of all things. It does not have to be the goal of your life. And I believe that integration, that being whole and connected and grounded as yourself,

no matter your circumstances or the length of your to-do list, is way more important than getting everything done. Staying grounded is more important than staying on task. It's like an oak tree with the roots that are planted real deep. It's still that same standing oak tree even when the wind blows, right? So if any of this integration talk, it feels really new to you, I would grab a copy of the plan from your local library, your favorite indie bookstore or online retailer or whatever. I think it would really help if this concept is kind of brand new. Okay, so back to feeling like yourself. When I started working on this episode, I started by writing down all the ways that I feel like myself. You know, I've been talking about and thinking about this for a super long time.

So the list came really quickly. Writing the list wasn't so much about discovery as it was making sure I didn't like forget anything when I was outlining the episode. That as I looked at the list, I saw something I've never really noticed before. I thought about how like all the individual activities made me feel. And while all of them made me feel like myself in some way, the feeling itself was not consistent. I discovered that half of the activities are quiet, restful, they made me come back to myself, while the other half almost like put my personality on overdrive. Like they give me a buzz. They made me feel like the purest, fullest version of myself and I never noticed that difference before and maybe you need to see it too. There are things

that energize and wake you up that might happen in your job or in your relationships where you just feel like a pure version of yourself when you're doing them. Like I feel a buds, like a genuine buzz when I'm doing something that wakes me up. Like I feel it in my bones. There's a weight to my body when I'm right here being myself in. in this moment. But then there are things that we all need to fill up. We need to replenish and restore. Those are often quiet, restful things. And they make your body and soul feel at peace and settled. You're coming back to center, so to speak. So I'm going to share my list for both because, like, I think both really matter. So here are my personal five, like, go-to things

that fill me up. We're going to start with that. These are things that both. like relax and recharge. I enjoy these things so much. I look forward to them. Mostly they're like slow and quiet. And if I don't do at least one of these every single day, I can feel it. Like I feel a disconnection with myself, with my own pleasure and enjoyment and humanity. And keeping that connection alive, that matters for me to be an integrated, contented whole person, just like it matters for you too. Now, many of these will come as no sense. surprise. These are things I've been like filling up with for years. The second list of things that wake me up might come as more of a surprise. We'll get to those later. So the first thing that fills me

up is reading. No one is surprised by this. Reading is my favorite hobby, my favorite activity to enjoy. I just absolutely love it. I look forward to reading as often as I can each day. And part of the reason I love reading is because I love stories and words and like all the things that reading gives. But I also think that reading is just for me. Like it's not, it's not directly connected to my husband or my kids unless I want it to be, right? Unless I want to share a story with them or something. But like 99% of the time when I read, it is purely for my own pleasure and enjoyment. If I'm reading a physical or a digital book, it means I also cannot be doing anything else. You know, it immediately focuses my attention away from.

from anything productive or outside of reading itself onto this thing that's just just for me. Now, audiobooks are a little different since I listen to those while I'm doing something, you know, like traditionally productive. But it does make that work more enjoyable. I cannot remember the last time I went a day without reading. Like I think if I did, I might, like I might self-destruct. Now, speaking of reading, a quick reminder, we started a separate newsletter called The Book List, where I share reviews of all the books I've been reading.

It goes out on the first Wednesday of every month. And most months, I read about 10 to 12 books. So if you're interested, you can sign up at the lazy genius collective.com slash book list. Or you can click the link in the show notes. And you'll just like pretty much immediately get the most recent book list email whenever you sign up. But then all the new ones come out on Wednesday. So if you want to know I've been reading, that's how you find out.

Okay. This second thing that fills me up is music. Listening to it, singing along with it, writing my own. music, playing an instrument. When I'm feeling sad or weary or snappy or like I'm moving too fast or I'm just like rung out from life, music always helps me get me back. Like always, it just fills me up in a way that most other things can't, especially that quickly. It's almost like a magic trick. Like the right song at the right time, it's like pressing a button on my stress and my disconnection for myself. And then it's like everything's fine. Like I immediately feel

better, calmer, more grounded, more aware of what matters. Now, granted, it has to be the right music, you know, but I mostly know what that is for me, depending on how I'm feeling. Like, if I'm, if I'm feeling rattled and I need to just like settle down, then I will put on my breezy instrumental playlist, which has been used by y'all in like classrooms and workplaces and around homework tables for years now. That thing is just magical in every single way. It just brings you right back. Now, if I'm feeling like discouraged by the world, I will, or if I'm just like, I don't know, just struggling on a soul level and I need to remember what matters most to me, aka my faith, I will listen to like John Gera's album called Jesus or some of the Psalms by poor Bishop Hooper. If I'm feeling bored or snappy and I just like need a little perk, I need some positivity up in here, I will listen to something that's like more fun and upbeat like a Lawrence or Jacob Collier. or Olivia Dean. I listen to a ton of music, but those are like kind of my secret sauce.

I always feel better. So those are my go-toes when I know that I need to like come back to center real fast. Another way, though, that I enjoy music is I'll go sit on my piano or I'll grab my guitar and I'll just like start playing and even writing. That happens less often, but not by a whole lot. Like if I'm struggling through something, writing music is a way for me to almost verbally process it and it always helps. I wrote this. It was so funny. I wrote this one song a while back. I was really struggling with the world, like so hard.

And I was sitting on my front porch. I was finding some solace in Psalm 73. I wrote a song from it. I was singing it, da-da-da. And there was this line in the Psalm about my spirit being bitter. And when I sang that, y'all, a crow started calling. It's like the most hilarious thing. But that kind of thing is really cathartic for me.

It helps me like fill up again as myself, as the person I'm most genuinely. and you only am. Now, see, I have, like, I have a friend who she feels that way working in her yard, like her hands in the dirt. I hate having my hands in the dirt. Like, nothing makes me feel worse about myself than having my hands in the dirt. So we all have different things, right? That this, this is another reminder that this list is not a prescriptive one at all. It's just a reminder that we have these things that we can connect with and bring us back to ourselves. and those differences are so fantastic. Okay.

So the second thing is music. The third thing that fills me up is making art. So this one is like such a great way for me to disconnect from the productivity of the world of my life, from my tendency towards perfection and just like enjoy myself. I'm still painting faces. I'm still doing these continuous sharpy outlines of faces and then painting them with watercolors. I don't do this as often as I read or listen to music that there are days when I'm just

feeling empty and a little dry, like almost like a plant. And I know that pulling out my sharpie and my paints is going to start to hydrate me again, like slowly, but surely, works every single time. The fourth thing that fills me up is baking. Again, I don't do this one as often. And it fills a different part of me than the other three do, I think. Like reading is just for me and music and art mostly are too. But baking is more, it's more communal, you know. It's actually kind of sad to me when I bake something and I don't get to share it. Like you got, yeah, I got to share it. So baking is what I do when I'm feeling disconnected from other people, which is honestly a surefire way that I'm not going to feel like myself. My biggest strength as a person is in being

a relator. Like every personal test and assessment in the world that I've ever taken, it will tell me some version of the story of how much I need to be connected to my people. Like it is absolutely essential. So if I send. that like one of my kids and I need some connection time will bake something together. If I want to tell someone like in a little extra way how much I care about them, I will bake them something. It's just a great go-to for me and helping me feel like myself. And then the fifth thing that fills me up is solitude, which is hilarious considering I just said how relational I am. But I really need solitude. I need to be alone in my own home and with my own thoughts and my own

quiet to be able to sometimes really hear what's going on. I need to be uncomfortable in the quiet. I need to have the freedom to be in that quiet, not answer questions or talk about things and obviously like sleep and read and, you know, walk in the woods. But there is so much wisdom, like in multiple fields of study about the importance and the power of solitude. And I need that so much in my own life. Part of that is because I'm so really. I need the balance of being alone, of just being with myself in the quiet, even if that is sometimes uncomfortable. So those are the things that fill me up, reading, music, art, baking, and solitude. Now, I'm curious if hearing my list has helped you identify anything for yourself,

like you don't need five things. One is great. But what is one thing that makes you feel the way I described myself feeling? What is the way that you can fill up and come back to yourself every day? Now before we get into things that might wake you up, and before we take an ad break, which makes this episode free for you to listen to. So thank you sponsors. Here is your quick reminder that we send out a podcast recap email every other Friday. It's called latest lazy listens. And it summarizes the episodes. It shares the lazy genius of the week as well as like other segments we've had on the show. And it has a little extra note for me to help encourage you through the weekend. So if you'd like to get that recap, because it just has like a summary and it keeps you from taking notes. If you are

our no-taker, you can head to the lazy geniuscollective.com slash listens. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip. Play. Post. Taste. View and enjoy. Via rail, love the way. Aw, isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art. I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. All right.

Now let's talk about the things that wake us up, or at least the things that wake me up. Now, maybe a good way to think about this is, like, what makes you feel alive? You know, what makes being yourself completely fricking? un-fictionless, you know, doing things where being ourselves feels easy, that's going to help us stay connected to the truest part of who we are, even when, you know, the roles and the tasks and life can try and knock us off kilter of it. It's that buzz again, right? It's that feeling of, like, just being right in the pocket of who you are. I have a friend who feels that way when she's listening to someone share what they're struggling with. Like there's very little that makes her feel more

alive than that. She's so herself and present in that moment. And it's really something to watch. So the buzz is not necessarily like roller coaster level activity. You know, it can literally be sitting quietly with a friend on a couch listening. But the buzz in your bones is there. That feeling of like, I'm supposed to be doing this. Like, this is who I am. That's a beautiful feeling to look for and cultivate. Now, I have a few of these and they're not things I normally. share when I talk about like versions of rest or what's saving my life or anything, all of these might be like a little new to some of you, even OG listeners. So the first one, well, this one's not surprising. The first one is being with my people. That's, you know, based on what I said earlier about

being a relational person, that's not surprising at all. But being with my people is maybe my favorite thing that just lights me up. I get so much energy from being around people, especially people who know and love me. There's just nothing like it. one of the things I'm slowly trying to incorporate into my life because of how important it is for me to be with people are like regularly scheduled times with them. So you've heard us talk about this before. My friend and your favorite spiritual director, Emily P. Freeman, have a monthly morning on the calendar where we work together at a coffee shop and then we have lunch after. So even in seasons of life where we don't see each other as often as we used to,

we have that. We can always count on it. It's like a repeated calendar item. We know that it's coming. It's like decide once, baby. It's fantastic to have that in place. And I want to do more of that. And I've already actually started. So like Khaas and I are starting to do a weekly quick dinner out, just us, which is so good. Some of my girlfriends and I have started this monthly lunch date. Doing these regular things is so good for cultivating our relationships. But for me, it's doubly important because it helps me feel more like myself. The second thing that wakes me up is talking. What a vibe that is? But y'all, I'm such a talker.

I normally, very regularly, will cap out my 15-minute boxer limit. Like, your girl says some words. My favorite thing is when someone sends me a voice memo that's like three minutes long. And they're like, I'm sorry, I talk so long. I'm like, are you kidding me? I'm just getting warmed up three minutes. Anyway, I am a talker. And when someone gives me the freedom to do that, to say as many words as I need to say

and process what I'm thinking and just like go overboard with how excited I am about whatever it is, like I genuinely feel super alive. Now, side note, that makes the balance of listening even more important for me to tend to. Like, because I'm such a natural talker, I want to work even more. at being a good listener. Sometimes I'll be in a conversation with someone and I'll have to tell myself like in my brain, Kendra, don't open your mouth. Don't do it. Don't have you don't have anything to say right now. It's okay. Just listen. Just listen. Just listen. Like it's hilarious. But I feel very alive when I'm able to talk. I feel that way here in this work. Like I love being on mic and talking to you guys

through this podcast. I love talking in rooms when I'm on book tour. One of my strengths is being able to communicate, albeit with a lot of words. And it's just part of who I am. So the more I accept that as part of who I am, the more I'm going to embrace doing it and not be embarrassed about it. But talking is also how I figure stuff out. It's how I figure out what I think. Like I cannot internally process. It is genuinely not how my brain works. I read this quote from the book, The Colony, which is a novel. It's like not a brain book at all. It's a sparse. weird novel about a tiny group of people who go off grid. It's great. But anyway, in that book, the narrator describes the relationship between one of the characters and words. And it was like

someone was looking into me. It was so great. So I want to see if this resonates with you. Here's a quote. When she was alone, she sometimes felt blocked up like her head was full of fruit and her speech was a juicer that allowed the fruit to be used. There was no room for anything new until the old had been squeezed out in the form of finished thoughts or opinions. Walking around alone was sometimes straight up uncomfortable. Her head in a jumble, she couldn't grasp her thoughts. Y'all, that is me to a tea.

And then what's funny is I know some of you are the actual opposite. it like saying the words actually makes the juice worse it's better for things to stay in your head until they're fully formed and even still saying them out loud it it can diminish your confidence in them it's just wild how different people are i really love it but anyway my point is i need i need to talk i need to talk it out like i'm a stopped up juicer if i'm quiet for too long i still try and cultivate the opposite to make sure i'm comfortable with silence you know i just want i want to be comfortable with solitude. It's the same kind of thing. I want to be a good listener. But like ultimately when I get to talk, I'm buzzing all over.

Oh, well. Okay. The third thing that wakes me up is like it's a little broad, but like I love, I love cheering. I love cheering because I'm competitive. I love cheering on someone I love when they're doing something that they love. Like, I don't know, playing a game or a concert or being in a play, something like that. I love cheering on friends when something special. happens in their lives. I love watching football with my family, either on TV or like at the high school stadium and yelling and waving my pom-pom and like having a blast. I love being part of something that is focused on another person where there is some kind of competition or performance or celebration of a job well done. I just love it. I cannot get enough. It lights me up all over.

I love it so much. I actually wonder if another way to think about this category of things that wake us up is what moves you? Like, what is uniquely planted inside of you that just moves you to some level of emotion? I am all the way moved watching my oldest play his music. Like, I can feel it in my gut. The happiness and excitement and leaning toward him that I feel. And I don't think that's just because I'm his mom. I mean, partly it is that I feel that way towards other people who are not in my family. Like, I am moved when people are doing something that makes them feel alive. like performing or telling a joke or whatever the thing is. Like I love celebrating people in those things. So maybe as you keep listening to like my personal list of what wakes me up, maybe another

phrase to consider for yourself is what moves you. Chearing on stuff, it moves me a lot. Okay. The fourth thing that wakes me up and makes me feel totally like myself is figuring something out. I love to problem solve. Holy moly. It is, it's why we're probably going to start incorporating more office hours episodes into this podcasting schedule. Y'all really like them. And I absolutely love trying to figure out a solution for what ails the people. But I'm that way at home with friends, at church, at my kids' schools. I'm like, how can we make this work better? How can we eliminate what doesn't matter? What's actually going on here? Now, sometimes that is not mind to do. And I have to metaphorically sit on my hands. But sometimes it can be mine to do,

or literally is, because I'm in charge of the thing. And when that happens, I'm just a live wire. Like, it's the best feeling. I'm so myself. It's why when I do book events, you know, every couple years that a book comes out, my favorite part is the Q&A, like by a country mile. I believe I have been given the natural ability to hear a question, see the problem, and be able to be able to able to offer something that helps make that problem feel lighter. It's one of my favorite things about myself. And I'm grateful that that's how I've been made. We need all the kinds of all the people, right? And that includes problem solvers. Now, we don't want a whole world of problem solvers. That would be like way too stressful. But just like we need listeners and caretakers and inspiring leaders

and second in commands and cooks and stewards and gardeners and all the things, like we need problem solvers. I am one. And when I get to be in a way that helps somebody, it's like the best feeling in the world. And I feel like I'm doing exactly what I made to do. And then the final thing that wakes me up is anything that activates my passionate side, that can be the competition that I already mentioned, stories that keep me up at night in my reading, you know, things I have to share. Like a favorite TV show, I will die on the hill that it is the best thing ever. Like anything that I am passionate about wakes me up. I honestly think that passion is one of the things that makes the world go around.

Like, now we can't all be passionate about the same things. That's crazy. We can't all care about the same things. But together as a collective, like we all get to care about our specific things that move us and wake us up and ignite our passion. And if we all follow those things rather than try and dilute our energy, to deal with all of it individually, we can actually make more of a difference in the world. But passion is also something that just makes life fun.

Like, have you ever been around someone who is so beautifully passionate about whatever it is they love? And even though you don't love that thing, you love the passion in that person. You love how much they care. Like, it adds to the joy of life to allow people to be passionate, to allow yourself to be passionate. That might be like a universal thing that wakes us all up.

It's passion. You know, what gets you so rubbed up? Like, what can you argue about for way longer than anything else? What can you enjoy to your marrow that you want everyone to know about? Naming what you're passionate about and enjoying it is such a beautiful way to be an integrated person in this world. You're connected to the most energetic. parts of yourself and activating it, inviting it into conversation and relationships.

And because the things we're passionate about often feel like they're like self-propelling, self-fueled, they're less draining. You know, when you do things that you love or you care deeply about, you have a lot more energy to do them or talk about them. For example, my husband is like a super chill guy, anagram 9, middle school counselor, He's quiet. He's content. He's a great balance to my like not super chill,

Enneagram 1 professional talker persona. But when he gets talking about bakeries and food he loves, the man is a different person. He could talk about facacha for an hour without running out of things to say. It's the cutest thing. I share that to say that even like being a quiet person, like even the quiet among you listening right now, you have things that you're super passionate about.

Bring those things out when it's safe to do so. Let people see your crazy about faca or thrifting or literacy advocacy or whatever the thing is. Like stoking your passions will absolutely help you feel more integrated and more like yourself. So in summary, you might resonate with these two different categories of ways to feel like yourself. You need ways to fill up and you need other ways to wake up. Both help you become a more integrated person. I read, I enjoy music, paint, bake, and cultivate solitude in order to fill up. And I spend time with people, I talk, I cheer, I solve problems and I enjoy my passionate side to wake up. I hope that my list help you identify yours. And those are the 10 ways that I feel like. myself. Today's a little extra-sum thing is a peek into what is in our newsletter this month.

Actually, it's two newsletters now, which is very exciting. So if you don't get either, here's the deal. The latest lazy letter is a monthly newsletter of personal things that I share that don't really land anywhere else. And then the book list is our brand new one. It's where I share reviews for all the books I read the past month. So many of you guys shared in our recent survey that you would like more behind the scenes info. And so today, that's That's what you're getting. I'm going to share a little bit as it relates to the newsletters, like the behind the scenes of it all. So both newsletters release on the first Wednesday of every month. So I write them on the day before that. Like I write them on the Tuesday of sometimes it's the

first Tuesday. Sometimes it's the last day of the month, which is complicated. Who cares? But it's on my work calendar and like bold red that it is newsletter day. That means it is very wise for me to adjust. how I approach that week's podcast episode since I will be devoting a huge chunk of my work time to writing those newsletters. Well, this week, that did not happen. This week, I sat down on my laptop on Tuesday, not having worked the day before since it was Labor Day, and I was doing things with my family, you know. So I was very behind. I felt very behind. I actually felt more behind than I probably was in reality. For those of you got that newsletter, you know that the night before I also had not slept because Annie was having trouble sleeping. And so I sat down at that laptop on Tuesday with

very little energy and feeling pretty overwhelmed. And often how I'm feeling when I sit down at the laptop is what informs what I write. This podcast is planned out when in advance. Topics are chosen months before they release. And even though we have the freedom to change topics, if we need to, that rarely happens. The newsletter, however, that has no plan. It just gets whatever like raw Kendra sits down that day. I'm a responsive person, meaning I feel the most like myself and I'm responding to where I am right now and who I am with right now, which is why I can't plan what I want to personally share. I don't know what that is until I get in front of my computer with like a few hours in front

of me ready to type. So this month, I typed a lot of words about trying to make it through busyness and tiredness and overwhelm because that's what I was experiencing on that day that I needed to write. I think that if my life had been less busy and my focus was on like a cool meal planning approach or how I simply cannot get enough of rewatching stranger things, the essays in the newsletter, they would have matched that energy. But that's how I write. I write what I'm dealing with right then in the newsletter.

And so this month was dealing with a very tired, slightly overwhelmed Kendra. I don't mind that being the process because I think it makes the whole thing feel more human because it very much is. Like legit, right now, I am distracted by this like super thick hair that is growing out of my face. And I'm thinking like, hey, maybe we can talk about favorite tweezers. Like right now, that's what I should tell everybody on the show. Like, I'm very immediate and responsive in my content when given the opportunity. So if you would like some of that energy, you can give the latest lazy letter. a try. It's once a month, and it's a favorite thing among many folks around here.

The other part of the process that you might not know about with our newsletters is that other members of Team LG read the newsletter after I write it to make sure that I'm being thoughtful in my words and I'm not unknowingly being insensitive or ignorant about something. You know, we're human, so we miss things. But I think it's really important to share that we really do value different perspectives and have it built into our processes to notice where we might have missed the mark. It matters to us to be a place where everyone feels seen, even when I'm sharing like super personal staff. So that's a little extra something for you this week, a little behind the scenes on the monthly newsletter. It's already gone out for September, but you can certainly

sign up and get the next one in October. Plus at the bottom of every newsletter is a link to archived ones so you can read as far back as you would like. All right, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week, it's Rosie from Richie. Virginia. I'd really just want to call you Rosie from Richmond. Rosie from Richmond writes, I absolutely hate the five minutes of getting everybody and everything into the house. The dog goes crazy. Both kids immediately want something and I have all the crap to carry inside. Backpacks, work bags, jackets, lunch boxes, artwork trash, trash, etc. It always puts me in a bad nude for what's already a difficult window of time. Recently, it dawned on me. Go in the right order. That's a lazy genius prince.

I always assumed that I had to get the kids out first, but I finally realized that's the problem. Now I tell the kids, I'm going to bring all the stuff inside and feed the dog, then get them out. It takes like two minutes and they are happy enough to just sit in their car seats. Then when I get them out of their car seats, I can actually attend to them rather than trying to do all the other stuff at the same time. It's made a huge difference. Rosie from Richmond, this is spectacular. y'all the right order really can do wonders. Like I bet there are places in your own life where you are stressed out and annoyed

and you could flip the order and that can make a huge difference. Just like you're doing the same things. Just do them in a different order and see what happens. I absolutely love the thoughtfulness of this Rosie. Thank you so much for sharing. And congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. All right. As we close today, here is a mini pep talk for accepting help.

Basically, if someone offers to help you, say yes. That's it. Like, that's the pop talk. I know a lot of you are capable and can handle hard, busy seasons without help. It's a tougher hang and you're more tired at the end of the day. But you've been doing a lot on your own for a long time. It's sometimes easier to just take it all on yourself. But then when you hit that emergency, that day or season where you really do need help, you really do need someone to swoop in and make a meal or sit with you at the hospital or watch your kid while you tend to a family emergency. You don't have the muscle memory to ask for help, let alone accept it. I think that saying yes to tiny moments of help and offering them to your people, it is an investment in the times when you

simply can't say no. Now that's not a reciprocity thing. It's not like you're building up a bank so that when you ask it feels deserved. No, that's not what I mean. It's helping you as a person. get more comfortable with accepting small help so that you're not as burdened when you need to accept big help. It's learning to live with the discomfort of someone else doing your laundry or mowing your yard or picking up your slack at work and go into the pharmacy to get you a COVID test or something. You know, like we need each other. We need each other so much. Not to just like do the tasks or run the errands. We need to practice being there for each other. We need to practice being there for each other. We need to practice being neighborly, being friendly, showing up for our rider-to-eyes and small things.

We need to practice receiving those small offerings of a coffee on a busy morning. Or like today, a friend of mine literally texted me after reading my newsletter and said, hey, I have Marcheon to pick up kids from school. Would you like me to take your route today? And I said, yes, I could have done it, but it was really, really helpful that she could. So I said yes. Say yes to accepting something that isn't dire, but sure is nice to be given. Accept help when someone offers.

Find a reason to say yes. And that's your mini pep talk on accepting help. If this episode was helpful to you or if you've been looking for a way to support the show, it would mean the world if you would share this episode with a friend or leave a kind review on Apple Podcasts. Both of those things they seem small and in some ways they are. but it's those small things that add up to get the show in front of more people and the world needs more lazy geniuses. So thank you for sharing and listening and supporting this show.

This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest lazy listens email that goes out every other Friday. head to the lazy genius collective.com slash listens to get it. Thanks y'all for listening and until next time. Be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra and I'll see you next week.

If you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life, it's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.