The Lazy Genius Podcast - #437 - 10 Things I Always Do When I Have People Over

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

This is a community that values people and relationships and connection, and having people into our homes is so integral to us building homes, neighborhoods, and entire cultures that tend to each othe...r, that enjoy being together, and that let each other in. I’m sharing what personally matters to me about hospitality and the ten things I always do to support it. Helpful Companion Links The PLAN is $1.99 on Kindle right now! (If Amazon isn’t your vibe, you can find it for $1.99 on Kobo right now, too.) My Breezy Instrumental playlist on Spotify Priya Parker’s Magical Questions Kate Strickler (Naptime Kitchen)’s Black Bean Soup Change Your Life Shawarma Sign up for our every-other-week podcast recap email called Latest Lazy Listens. Sign up for my once-a-month newsletter, The Latest Lazy Letter. Grab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links) Download a transcript of this episode. Want to share your Lazy Genius of the Week idea with us? Use this form to tell us about it. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi there, you're listening to the Lazy Genius podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This podcast isn't about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done. Hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently. On this podcast, we value contentment, compassion, and living in your season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are lazy. geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't, and I'm so glad you're here. Today is episode 437, 10 things I always do when I have people over. Now, you might not love having people over as much as I do, which is likely because I'm kind of obsessed with it, but I do think you love people. This is a community that values people and relationships and connection and having people into our homes is so integral for us to build homes and neighborhoods and entire cultures that tend to each other that enjoy being together and that let each other in. So I'm going to share what personally matters to me about hospitality and the 10
Starting point is 00:01:14 things I always do to support it. You don't have to follow my list or value what I value, but I think the structure could help you name what matters to you and see how some things you already do are contributing to a spirit of hospitality that you didn't even notice. After that, we'll have a little extra something in the form of my favorite hosting recipes. I have some go-toes or some Decide Once meals that I usually make, so I'll share those. They will also be listed and linked when there is a link in the next podcast recap email. So if you get that, don't worry about taking notes. It'll be in the latest Lazy Listen's email.
Starting point is 00:01:50 As always, we'll celebrate the lazy genius of the week. and we'll close things out with a mini pep talk for when you're lonely. Now before we get into the episode, I wanted to let you know that the plan, my book on compassionate time management, it is on sale right now in the Kindle store. If price is often an issue for you when you read books, sometimes the best choice is a $2 ebook. So if that is you, the plan is currently $1.99, which is amazing. And if you know someone who would enjoy reading the book, you can click on the button.
Starting point is 00:02:23 buy for others and have the book delivered to a friend. That's cheaper than like a small black coffee and it's still pretty energizing. It's just in a different way, I guess. The sale will likely last through this week. So grab a cheap copy of the plan. If you have been interested in reading it, fall is a great time to have a more compassionate take on time management. All right, let's get into the 10 things I always do when I have people over. First, let's set the stage for hospitality and what it actually is. So the dictionary says that it is the friendly, generous, and welcoming treatment of guests, visitors, or strangers. I want to look at some of those words real quick. So hospitality is friendly. You know, you're seeing the person. You're making them feel safe.
Starting point is 00:03:11 You're looking them in the eye. You're valuing their presence with you. Hospitality is friendly. Hospitality is also generous. You're giving them something of your own, whether it's food or time, a listening ear, or just a safe place to be themselves. Hospitality is also welcoming. You're willing and eager to open the door, both literally and figuratively. You're saying, come on in. I'm so glad you're here with your voice, but also with your actions. And hospitality shows all of these things to guests, which are people we invite, to visitors,
Starting point is 00:03:47 which are people who are new, and to strangers, which are people we don't know at all. We can be hospitable and create that culture in our homes, but also at work and in our cars while we're driving. That is one for me specifically. And waiting in the school pickup line or at the DMV or walking the dog around the neighborhood, prioritizing friendliness, generosity, and welcome are keystones and helping people feel seen and known in this world, not just around your table. Now specifically in your home, well, really in my home, I have five words that direct my specific expression of hospitality. I value these five things being true when I have people over and they impact the things that I choose to do. That's true everywhere, right? What you believe determines what you do.
Starting point is 00:04:37 What you value determines what you choose. What matters to you determines who you spend your time and energy on, what you're doing, how you move in the world. That's my naming what matters is so important. otherwise you're just kind of floating on autopilot responding to the priorities and values of people around you instead of being guided from within you. That's true in life and it's true in hospitality. So my five words that matter most when having people over, and frankly the five words that direct the culture of our home, even when it's just my family there, are warm, relaxed, confident, thoughtful, and safe. When it comes to hospitality, I want the people I have over to feel like they belong and are not in the way. That is warmth. It's welcoming, you know, just as it was described in the definition
Starting point is 00:05:32 of hospitality. Warmth really matters. Relaxed. I want people to feel at ease. I also want to feel at ease. You know, I want to be relaxed. I want to be a host who is present and with people, even if things are undone around me, right? Confident. I want to be a confident host and that I am a steady guide to what is happening next. I think when we're under the guidance or leadership of a confident person, not an arrogant person, it allows us to also feel confident. It's a certain level of safety to trust the person who's in charge. And then that helps us trust ourselves in that situation too. Thoughtful. I want to consider the experience of the people that I have over and what might make them feel seen and cared for. Thoughtfulness is in the details. It requires empathy and it's also
Starting point is 00:06:26 very kind. And then finally, safe. I want the people I have over to feel like they can totally be themselves. Safety doesn't necessarily have to mean like deep vulnerable conversations, even though it certainly can, but it's more about no pretense, no expectations, no judgment. no room for that person to feel like they have to perform in order to be in my home or be with me and my family. That really starts with my own safety and lack of performance. When I'm just me and safe with myself, others can more easily be safe with themselves too. So those are the five words that matter to me about hospitality, warm, relaxed, confident, thoughtful, and safe. Now, before we get into the 10 things I always do when I have people over, based on those five things that matter to me.
Starting point is 00:07:16 And before we take an ad break, which makes this episode free for you to listen to, thank you so much sponsors. Here's your quick reminder that we send out a podcast recap email every other Friday. It's called latest lazy listens. It summarizes the episode. It shares the lazy genius of the week as well as other segments that we have on the show. Like today, it'll have a list of my go-to recipes when I have people over. And there's also an extra little note for me to help encourage you through the weekend. So if you would like to get that recap, head to the lazy genus collective.com slash listens.
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Starting point is 00:08:21 Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that and enjoy. Via rail, love the way. Okay, so my hospitality words are warm, relaxed, confident, thoughtful, and safe.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Maybe this inspires you to come up with your own hospitality words that help direct the choices that you make. Now, I have 10 things that I do every time I have someone over and I'm really excited to share them with you. Sometimes we forget how simple things can make a big difference. But when we're thoughtful about them, like see, that's actually one of my five words. When we're thoughtful about those things, they really can create an experience for people that makes them feel the most like themselves when they come over to our house. All right, number one. I always have yummy food. Always. Now, do I always make it myself? Not necessarily. I do have some go-toes, like I said, that I'll share at the end of the episode, and today's a little extra something. But yummy does not have to mean homemade. In fact, I would so much rather be present with takeout than frazzled with something homemade. So if homemade food makes you feel overwhelmed, don't worry about it. Just. Just. Just make whatever food you get yummy. I love yummy food so much.
Starting point is 00:09:47 I mean, I think we all do. But food that satisfies, that activates your senses, that brings you pleasure, and then eating that food with people, it is so deeply connective and satisfying. In fact, there is research from the University of Oxford. and it determined that the more people eat with others, the more happy they are with their lives. People who eat socially feel better about themselves and have a stronger social network, which contributes to dealing with more difficult circumstances when they arise. So sharing food, especially yummy food, it creates bonding in the actual moment of eating.
Starting point is 00:10:32 It is good for our souls, you guys. So I always have yummy food, whether I make it or not. So that's number one. Okay, number two, I always have a hosting buddy. All right, what's a hosting buddy? So it's someone who shares the same values of hospitality that you do and who knows you well enough to jump in when you need help. Now that person can be your spouse if you have one, but it can also be someone else that you invite. So we have a family that we do a lot with. And often if I'm having someone over for the first time, I will actually invite this family to just to extend the social connections with the new friends, but also to have a hosting buddy, to have my friend there who knows me and my house and
Starting point is 00:11:17 what matters when it comes to people who doesn't feel weird like bumping around in my cabinets and drawers to find stuff, who can notice that the Setsiki needs a spoon, who can cut the chicken while I greet new friends who've just come over and be present with them. Having a hosting buddy is like such a gift. And because I do tend to get in the direction of like frazzled if I'm left unchecked, having someone who is calm and knows me and is helping me cook or say hi or whatever, it really keeps me the most like myself. So that's the second thing that I always do when I have somebody over is I have a hosting buddy. Number three, I always save a task or two for introverts who do not want to deal with small talk or for people who just like want to help you know they just they want to
Starting point is 00:12:04 they want to be put to work when they come over so I will intentionally leave like water pitchers empty or I will leave plates stacked on the table rather than set around the table I'll ask someone to spoon hummus out from the container into a bowl or um you know to ask someone to be like hey can you ask everybody who wants cheese on their burgers like I love saving tasks because someone will always either offer to help or look like they really need something to do with their hands, like they're just not ready yet. And on the rare chance that neither thing happens, I'll just ask someone to fill the water pitcher if I need help. Like no harm, no foul. So that's the third thing I always do. The fourth thing I always do when I have people over is have something
Starting point is 00:12:48 where folks can immediately help themselves, an appetizer, if you will. Bread, drinks, even putting out like little spoons if somebody wants to taste the ticamasaola before we eat it or something. I think wetting the appetite is lovely. But I also think having an obvious place where people can go and know what to do with the confident prompting of me, of course, can contribute to the people who come over. They experience warmth. They feel relaxed. They might be so hungry. So like some cheese on the counter is water in the desert, man.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Or like just having drinks already out or something like that. It can be so lovely. This is another reason I love having a hosting buddy because they could make like pre-dinner cocktails, you know, maybe if that's your thing. They can be, make it a whole event in the beginning. It's so hospitable. Like, think about it. Having someone care enough to make you a drink to order.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Like seriously, that's so fun. It feels so special. So that's the fourth thing. I always have something out where people can immediately help themselves. Number five, I always play music. Holy moly, always music. Part of the reason for that is that when a new person walks into a new place and it's super quiet, any pause in conversation, it feels bigger. Now listen, pauses and awkwardness, they're just part and parcel to hosting. Like they happen. It's going to be fine. But music, it fills in the gaps in a way that's like, it's just too easy to ignore.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Now, for a while, I would forget to start the music until after the first person arrived. And I like noticed the silence. So I was kind of like scrambling to find something to play. It felt like I was trying to cover the silence. It was the whole thing. Now I just always start music when I'm making dinner or like a solid half an hour before people come over. It calms me down. It makes me feel relaxed and have a good time.
Starting point is 00:14:48 And then it's already playing when people arrive, right? of course I love breezy instrumental as the background for just about anything. That's a playlist I have on Spotify. But I do think something like oldies, that's like a really great call. Have you ever had someone make you an old fashioned while Ray Charles is singing in the background? Like, that's a great vibe right there, man. So I always play music. It creates warmth.
Starting point is 00:15:14 It makes me and the other people feel more relaxed. It's thoughtful because of that hiding over silences. which can be a kindness for people who are nervous about conversation. And it's just fun. It's always connective when people who haven't known each other very long start singing the same thing at the same time because it just came on. It's like when you can't not sing the chorus living on a prayer when it comes on the radio or whatever, right? Everybody does it. Well, we'll have what you have to. And then suddenly everybody's on the same team. It's just the best. Music is the best. Music is the best. Okay, the sixth thing I always do when I have people over is clean the bathroom. I am definitely a fan of imperfect hospitality,
Starting point is 00:15:55 and I don't think everything needs to be cleaned within an inch of its life, or that you have to cram everything into a closet like Monica did on friends when someone is coming over. Lived in homes are deeply hospitable. But I do think for me, having a clean bathroom, it contributes to my priority of being thoughtful, like doing a quick vacuum of the floor, a quick wipe of the toilet and a sink with two different chlorox wipes, making sure there's like plenty of toilet paper that's in an obvious place that's very visible, right? Even having a bottle of poop spray or air freshener or a lick candle, those things can be really nice to help someone feel safe if they just have no choice but to poop in your home. Like we all poop and we all poop in multiple places. But there is an insecurity for a lot
Starting point is 00:16:39 of us when we have to poop at someone else's house, especially someone we don't know or someone who's like waiting on us in the kitchen with an old-fashioned. So making that bathroom experience feel clean and warm and safe is a way that I like to be hospitable. Now, I still have like patched holes on my bathroom wall that have not been sanded and painted yet, but the bathroom is always clean when someone comes over. The seventh thing I always do when I have people over is have a question or two ready to go, some kind of conversation starter. I used to work hard. It comes to. I used to work hard. It up with something super interesting or thoughtful or fun. Or I would just like forget beforehand and go with something like, you know, off the top of my head like, have you read anything good
Starting point is 00:17:24 lately? Which like is a great question sometimes, but it's not a guaranteed conversation generator. And not everybody loves to read in the same way. Well, then I found Priya Parker's concept of magical questions. Priya Parker is the author of one of my favorite books ever, The Art of Gathering. She really like affirmed my love of gathering and hospitality. That confidence, that confident value that I hold really came from Priya giving me permission to be a confident host. So if you love to be hospitable or you actually really struggle with it, the art of gathering is such a great book.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Anyway, so Priya has this concept of magical questions, okay? Not the magic question, but magical questions. So a magical question is a question that you. are interested in answering and everyone else is interested in hearing other people's answers. So like everybody wants to answer it, but everybody also wants to hear all the answers. So having a handful of those at the ready that you can always ask, that is legit magical. Because sometimes questions we ask to connect a group, they can fall flat. And then you might feel the pressure of like being the host and picking up the conversation
Starting point is 00:18:35 and keeping you going. y'all, I am extroverted. I love having people in my home. I am relational. I love talking to people and hearing from people. I am a natural connector. I love when people are connecting with each other. I am well suited to do this on my own. And I often ask questions that are absolute duds. So don't assume that everyone just knows how to ask these questions. They're cultivated and gathered and practiced. You can totally be an introvert and have. five magical questions in your mental inventory that you can just pull out, even just one, to start a conversation. Often, it just takes one spark to open up a whole conversation that lasts a long time or that creates opportunities to ask follow-up questions about other people as they share things about themselves. Magical questions are amazing and they're for anyone to use. A couple of favorites from Priya's collection are what posters did you have on your wall when you were a teenager? What was your first job and would you ever do it again?
Starting point is 00:19:46 What is a path you almost took but didn't? And what is your anti-pet peeve? Something so small that brings you like outsized joy instead of outsized frustration. Aren't those also great? Don't you want to answer them and hear other people's answers? that's the beauty of a magical question. So even people who are less inclined to talk publicly, they're probably going to feel fairly comfortable
Starting point is 00:20:11 entering into a conversation like this. So the seventh thing I always do is have a question ready to go, but now that I have Priya Parker's concept of magical questions, it's even better. The eighth thing I always do when I have people over is listen for relational connections. This is how I'm wired, so this is not a mandate for everyone. but because I care about people feeling relaxed and safe and because hospitality is also about connecting
Starting point is 00:20:37 people to each other, I'm always looking for overlaps and what people say. I have a very linear brain, surprise, surprise. And I joke that I have a mental file holder on every person I know. Like I actively remember things about them, favorite things, ways they like to relax or enjoy life, weird jobs they had, teams that they like, all kinds of things. I just remember and I enjoy that remembering. One of the best parts of that is finding things that exist in the file folders of different people than I'm with that are the same. It's that thing when you're having dinner with some people and like one person says they graduated from high school in the town where you live and you're like, wait, me too, what's cool? And then you find out that you both know the same band kid named Steve, even though you graduated in different years or something. Or you connect to people who are Packers fans who happen to live in the South.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Or two people who run marathons or two people who have dogs and love the same dog. park. Like I love looking for relational connections because I think they make people feel relaxed and safe. The night thing that I always do when I have people over is to keep at least one thing very low key or even childlike. It's usually in regards to the food, but not always food. Sometimes it's music, which is why I like oldies. There's nostalgia there. Or if it's friends of a certain age and I'll play like 90s boy bands because that's just too much fun. But usually the low-key childlike thing is food. Boxed brownies and ice cream for dessert. Grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner, but like really, really yummy versions. Popsicles, bowls of Eminems, smores. Oh my goodness. Smoors. Having something
Starting point is 00:22:17 that's just so beautifully low-key that taps into a little nostalgia and like childlike wonder is such an easy but thoughtful way to create warmth and make someone feel relaxed. And finally, the 10th thing I always do when I have people over is go first. If there are apps out, I point them out to the people like, hey, here's some, you know, cheese and whatever, and then I'll take one. Or I'll say, I'm having a cocktail. Would anyone else like one while I'm making it? Most definitely I'm going to sit down at the table at the same time as everyone else,
Starting point is 00:22:53 rather than moving around to make sure everyone has what they need. They probably do. But if I'm not with people when they're eating, especially people who have like southern manners and are thinking like, should we wait for her? She's still in the kitchen. Like should we eat? That doesn't put people at ease. So go first.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Or at least go with, right? Be with your guests and visitors and strangers and friends. This is based on my own values. and again we can all have different ones. But I think that it's easier for new friends and nervous guests to feel more relaxed if they're following my lead or they're not feeling like they're a burden because I'm doing something for them that I am also not taking part in. So I always go first or at least go with.
Starting point is 00:23:45 So to recap, the five words that matter to me about hospitality are warm, relaxed, confident, thoughtful, and safe. To support those, I always have yummy food. I always have a hosting buddy. I always save a task or two for introverts or for people who want to help. I always have something where folks can immediately help themselves. I always play music. I always clean the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:24:10 I always have a question or two ready to go. I always listen for relational connections. I always keep at least one thing very low-key or childlike, and I always go first or at least go with. And those are the 10 things I always do when I have people over. Aw isn't something we need to travel for. It's something waiting for us in everyday life, whether in a city street or a moment with a work of art.
Starting point is 00:24:40 I'm Dr. Keltner, host of the Science of Happiness podcast. Join me for Cities of Aw, a special series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. All right. For today's a little extra something, I'm going to share with you my favorite things to feed the people when they come over. I have some things that are my Decide Once meals, which it makes it so much easier when people do come over, fewer decisions to worry about.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Plus, the more you have people over and make the same types of things, the more confident you get with those things, or even just one meal. It doesn't have to be multiple. It could just be one. So one thing I always do too that I didn't mention this earlier is I have takeout containers that I don't need back. Like I always have a stock in my pantry of those like cylindrical plastic deli containers that Ina Garten always used. And also like rectangular black ones with a lid. I have tiny condiment cups with lids. I use those for sauces or chopped herbs or something. These are all super helpful when you are packing up leftovers when people are at your house.
Starting point is 00:25:54 or when you're taking food to someone new. Sending people home with food or taking food to their home in containers that they do not have to return to you is one of the greatest kindnesses of all time. So a quick honorable mention for a meal that I love to bring to people to their own homes, not necessarily when they come over, even though I have done it when people come over, is Kate Strickler's black bean soup with some simple cheese cassidias. It has become my new take dinner to people meal. I always have the ingredients, like always, always. Most of them are pantry staples or just like things we always have in the house. The soup is so easy, bizarrely delicious for being as simple as it is, even for people who don't love black beans.
Starting point is 00:26:38 And this meal, it taps into that low-key childlike thing I mentioned earlier. It's just so dagging. So I put soup in two quart deli containers, one for eating and one for freezing for another day. that I send both to the people. I make some cassidias in a cast iron skillet after microwaving the cassidia first for like 30 seconds to give the melted cheese like a little, a little boost, right? A little rocket fuel. So I cook the cassidias. I cut those up. I put them in one of those litid containers. I might plop a few dollops of sour cream, maybe some chopped green onions, maybe some shredded cheese and like those little smaller containers. And then I drop all that off in a paper bag.
Starting point is 00:27:18 If I had time that day, I will also make box brownies. I always add a little bit of espresso powder, vanilla, salt, and chocolate chunks. I stir that into whatever box brownie mix I use, which is usually the, is it Giradelli triple chocolate, I think? That's my favorite box brownie mix, but I always add those things in. That is also comforting, right? So this whole meal is it's easy, it's protein heavy, that is also vegetarian-friendly, which is nice. it can be made gluten-free by just swapping out casillas with corn tortillas instead of flour
Starting point is 00:27:52 or just using like tortilla chips instead of casillas. You can grab a pint of ice cream instead of making brownies if the person is gluten-free and you're all set. It's just like the best go-to. So thank you, Kate, for making that amazing black bean soup. Everybody Google nap time kitchen black bean soup. It's her version of Changey Life Chicken. Like I'm going to have a chicken on my tombstone.
Starting point is 00:28:12 She's going to have a can of black beans on hers. Okay, now for hosting at home. So I do love making homemade pizza when people come over. If you've been here a while, you know this. Pizza is one of my favorite foods. It's just delicious, obviously. It's versatile. It's fun and it's nostalgic.
Starting point is 00:28:28 It's like immediately low-key, still super yummy, which are two things I always do. Another go-to meal when people are coming over is my chicken shwarma. We will link that in the show notes and definitely in the podcast recap email. You can also just Google it. I will make that. And then depending on time, I might make or buy rice, non, satsiki, hummus. I might chop up some cherry tomatoes or something.
Starting point is 00:28:54 I might pickle some onions. Like, I don't know. It's also a really great meal to have people bring something to help out, especially if you're having people over that you often have over. You can just be like, hey, can you grab non from Nazareth bread on your way here? Like done, right? That that chicken. That chicken.
Starting point is 00:29:10 It's a monster win. I also love an Asian rice bowl. I'll make a bunch of rice. I'll cook some ground beef and like soy sauce and ginger, maybe some miran, which is like sweetened, like an Asian situation that's like sweet, some saracha maybe for heat. And then there are like a million things that you can add to that, right? And I might make a bunch of them. I may invite other people to bring those things.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Cabbage salad, pickled onions, roasted broccoli or rosedic carrots, sauces, mint and cilantro, a green onion. It's always so good. It's always so good. And then, again, brownies, ice cream, a big slab of chocolate cake for dessert. And then finally, the other go-to is like, we'll just grill burgers and hot dogs. Sides can be anything. Homemade store-bought, just chips and fruit.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Things brought by others. Easy. And it's nostalgic as well. Plus, it's easy enough to throw on a veggie burger for any vegans who are in the house. So homemade pizza, chicken shwarma, Asian rice bowls, And hamburgs and hot dogs, those are my go-to meals when I'm having people over. And I always have dessert. Because of course I do.
Starting point is 00:30:23 And that's today's a little extra something. All right, let's celebrate the lazy genius of the week. This week it's Andrea Gregory. Andrea writes, we are on a road where everyone has 10 acres. Our houses are not close together. And so if you want to get to know your neighbors, you have to be intentional. Connection with my neighbors is important to me. So we began something when we moved in that I,
Starting point is 00:30:45 call second Saturday Sundays. At the beginning of the summer, I send a flyer out to all the neighbors inviting them to join us in the cul-de-sac on the second Saturday of every month for some ice cream Sundays. I created a plastic bin where I keep paper bowls, spoons, ice cream scoops, wipes, all the toppings, cups, and napkins. So the day of the event, I just pull out the bin and bring a table, a trash can, and a jug of water down to the cul-de-sac and set everything up. Everyone brings a chair with them so they have somewhere to sit. Whether we have one family or ten, we end up having an amazing time just hanging out together and relaxing with a bowl of ice cream together at least once a month during the summer. Well, y'all know I love this. I love a gathering. And also,
Starting point is 00:31:25 this is a great example of how you don't have to gather in your home around a table or for dinner. Ice cream Sundays? On the street? All day, man. Let's do it. So this is so great, Andrea. I thank you for sharing and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week. All right. As we close, let's have a mini pep talk on being. lonely. If you are lonely, an episode about having people over is kind of a drag. You might be a person who wishes you could have people over, but there just aren't people. That is real. You have likely heard that we are in a loneliness epidemic. Frankly, I think that's why we have such division in our country because we're just not connected to each other in a formative way.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Loneliness breeds hopelessness. And hopelessness keeps us down for the count. So I want to remind you have a couple of things, especially if you are lonely. So many people are lonely. You're not alone in your loneliness. And what that means is that this world is bursting with people who want to be connected with. Now, it's not your fault that you haven't found them yet. But statistically, if one in three people feels lonely on a weekly basis and one in 10 people feels pervasive loneliness all the time, which is what the statistics say. There are a lot of people who need each other. We just need to keep an eye out. Try some new things and go first. Art classes, volunteer opportunities, book clubs run by your local library, civic service, being a reading buddy in an elementary school,
Starting point is 00:33:03 saying hi to the person that you pass every day while walking your dog and doing that awkward thing of asking them their name so that you can start greeting them by name. And maybe even one day, like striking up a conversation. Going to church, or if you're taking a break from one, you find a Bama podcast group that meets, since Bema is a place where many Christians are finding some comfort and hope right now. You can follow your city on Instagram
Starting point is 00:33:26 and notice what the local events are and go to them. You can invite your coworker out for a drink after work and then maybe to dinner eventually, if you all get along. You can go to a trivia night with people you might not know well, but you will know them better after the trivia night is over. I guarantee that. Go to an exercise class and put down your mat or whatever in the same place every time because maybe the people around you do the same thing and then you recognize each other and you can become friendly with them. Now, sometimes this is so slow. Often it is also really
Starting point is 00:34:01 discouraging. But if there was ever a time to start small, it's here. If you're feeling lonely, every single smile you offer someone else matters. Even if it's just, you being an open person. Every single class you go to without making a friend matters because it grows your muscles to try. Every single person you hang out with that you don't click with, it's just sifting through until you find the one that does. You might not come out on the other side of your loneliness with like a gaggle of friends that you go on vacation with, but you will be less lonely with even just one. and you're also making that person less lonely by being yourself with them too. So if you are lonely, I'm so sorry. It's so hard. And also keep going. Stay hopeful. Look out. Say hi.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Go first. Start small. And be kind to yourself while you wait. And that's a mini pep talk for when you're feeling lonely. If this episode was helpful to you or if you've been looking for a way to support the show, it would mean the world if you would share this episode with a friend or you can leave a kind review on Apple Podcasts. Both of those things they seem small and in some ways they are, but it's those small things that add up to get the show in front of more people and the world needs more lazy geniuses. Thank you for listening, sharing, and supporting us. This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network.
Starting point is 00:35:31 This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest lazy listens email that goes out every other Friday. Head to the lazy geniuscollective.com slash listens to get it. Thanks y'all for listening, and until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't.
Starting point is 00:35:57 I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week. You ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.

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