The Lazy Genius Podcast - #58: The Lazy Genius Morning Routine

Episode Date: April 2, 2018

When we start the day with the right energy, sometimes things go better than we expect. How we develop a morning routine? Maybe not quite what you expect. Have a listen, and create mornings that make you feel like yourself. Stuff Mentioned In This Episode: The Universal Path to Life-Giving Routine (a blog post that offers the foundation for any routine) The Lazy Genius Loses Weight The Lazy Genius Home How to Set Goals Like a Normal Person (includes the download for the 30 Days of Small Steps) Download the transcript of this episode This podcast is hosted by Kendra Adachi and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi everybody. I'm Kendra and this is the lazy genius podcast. I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. This month we're focusing on routine. Those things we do most every day that help us get stuff done, feel like a person, and not lose our minds. You're listening to the first episode in that series, the lazy genius morning routine. A morning routine is pretty obvious. It's a collection of pre-made choices you do most every morning. So in this episode, we'll go through why a morning routine is worth building, what yours might look like, how to create it. And I'll share at the end a quick overview of what my current morning routine is. So let's begin with why a morning routine is worth building. You actually

already have a morning routine. It might be tangible. Like you wake up, start the coffee, check your email, get out cereal for breakfast, any number of things. Or if you're thinking, my mornings are never the same. I always feel. like I'm playing ketchup. Guess what? You have a mental morning routine. It's possible you're saying the same messages to yourself every morning. Like, I'll never get the kids to school on time. I'll never be able to drink hot coffee when it's actually ready. Why I'm always rushed in the morning, that kind of thing. You might have kind of a regular script that you don't realize it in your brain affecting how you move through the morning. So no matter where you are in this morning routine

business, you likely already have some form of repetition in your morning, whether it's played out by your physical choices or all happening on the inside. So if that's the case, if we already have something that's happening repeatedly, why not make an exchange? Let's trade those crazy thoughts and hurried mornings for something you intend, something that makes you feel like you're not losing your mind. It's possible that right now you're thinking of a woman who wakes up at 5 a.m. spends a long time reading the Bible, drinks hot coffee, speaks to her children with a beautifully patient voice, and you're already out, right? The idealism can sometimes feel fake, like those people are flaunting their discipline in your face. In this moment,

we're going to extend a lot of grace. We've talked about this in other areas, our weight, our homes. I'll link to a couple of those podcast episodes in the show notes. But when people are doing well, when they seem to have what we think we should have, we feel inadequate. And sometimes we even take out that inadequacy in the form of anger and rejection. We roll our eyes at that person towards the woman who wakes up at 5 a.m. and seems to have it all together, right? We get a little bit wonky.

I am always, always saddened by the fact that especially among women, if we are not rushed, frustrated in a perpetual state of trying harder, we're somehow self-righteous and snobby and not authentic. Somebody who wakes up at 5 a.m. and has a quiet time and preps dinner before breakfast and works out before anyone else is awake must be fake. They can't possibly be a real person. And I want us to collectively debunk that attitude. Okay. We, I'm talking to myself here too. We shame people for living in a way that makes them feel grounded and, alive because we are embarrassed and ashamed that we can't seem to get it together. So the people that are seemingly together, they must be fake.

Can we stop thinking that? Because there's a really good chance that after listening to this episode and the others that are coming this month and especially, especially you guys, after reading our foundational blog post that I'll link to in the show notes called the universal path to life giving routine, it's possible that after taking in these concepts and asking yourself, questions and building life-giving routines that you actually feel grounded. You might actually start feeling less rushed in the morning. You might go through the day and not feel the need to hash out all the ways you're tired with your mom friends. Now, I'm not saying, hear me, hear me

loud and clear. I am not saying that having conversations about how tired we are, about how hard it is sometimes to be a person, that those conversations are bad. No. And you should share them. Community is essential. And being honest with how you're doing is also essential. But we also need to leave room for people whose honesty looks different than ours. Don't immediately doubt the authenticity of a woman who seems to have it all together. We've swung so far to the side of everyone is a mess and we all need to be a mess in order to count. We've said that about our bodies and about how clean our homes are. If somebody comes over and our house is actually picked up and maybe even a little bit shiny, we feel like we have to apologize. That usually it's such a mess, you know, we've moved far from perfection being a badge of honor.

And man, oh man, am I glad for that? But we've moved too far, I think, sometimes to a place where anything that resembles perfection doesn't count, that it isn't real. And you guys, in this series, I think you're going to discover ways to feel grounded and alive and patient and less frantic. I think at the end of this month, you're going to feel a little better in the mornings, a little better when it comes to how you're moving your body, how you're keeping your home, how you get dinner on the table. You're going to find relief and life in the beginning stages

of these routines. Don't for a second. Start shaming yourself or others. Don't start apologizing for how messy, emotionally, and like how clean your floor is. Like, don't start apologizing for the lack of mess. Can you imagine? Imagine a world where we as women are fully alive and who we are, that we confidently start the day in a way that makes the rest of the day have life, that we take initiative in our own stories and move into the lives of others with a greater sense of purpose and identity. I realize we're just talking about morning routines and maybe I'm getting a little carried away, but I think they're all connected.

And if we continue this conversation without the perspective of grace for women who are harried and for women who don't seem to be, we're going to keep spinning the same wheels and end up in the same place. I want us to collectively change the conversation around what it means to create routine, to be purposeful in how we love our lives. It doesn't make sense to make anyone feel better or worse or assign value to them that makes them better or worse. by that. I've said it so many times. Like, this is not binary. Regularly living out a life-giving morning routine doesn't make you better or worse than someone who hits the snooze button five times. If you hit the snooze button five times, you matter just as much. There's no arbitrary value in these

choices. They are simply tools to help us identify who we are, what matters to us, and how we can actively bring those things to the surface. So they positively impact our lives and the lives of the people around us. So that's my routine soapbox, kind of. And honestly, I didn't really anticipate starting things out that way. But it's really important to remember that this stuff is not prescriptive. It's not better or less than. We are just people trying to survive, right? And if we begin moving from surviving to feeling like our feet are more on more solid ground on a more regular basis. That is great. Do it, man. We don't have to feel crazy in order to be real. We don't have to feel crazy in order to be real. Okay. So let's get into some specifics. The way I think of a

morning routine is kindly opening the day with the purpose of. of gradually increasing my productive energy. Let me say that again. A morning routine is kindly opening the day with the purpose of gradually increasing my productive energy. We all know what happens when we wake up at the same time as everybody else in the house and we have a million things to do right away. It is not gradual, is it? We are kind of thrust into productivity and getting the coffee going and making breakfast and lunches and finding missing shoes and keys. and showering and like actually putting clothes on our bodies that we didn't sleep in. It's like a lot of things all at once. And no one is dismissing that. I'm not dismissing that. But I think we all have also

experienced those same mornings. Like the circumstances haven't changed at all. We have to do all the same things. But when we're more gradual in our movement towards that productivity, it goes better. We're more calm. It's like our vision's better. We're just not defaulting to feeling stressed out. So a morning routine, it kind of gives your brain like a gentle power up. My kids are really into Mario right now. So like all my analogies have to do with like Odyssey. You're like your mind, your body, your soul. You're telling those things that it's a new day.

You're being gradual. Like we have stuff to do guys. But we can kindly open the day, which really affects the rest of the day. And this might sound a little weird, but I think that a morning routine helps you feel like yourself. so you're not frantically searching for yourself throughout the day. This is true of every woman, whether you have kids or a job or neither or both. Sometimes we can't find ourselves.

We're in a posture of questioning where we fit in the room, in a group. Strong women are often an anomaly, and that's really sad. We're often thinking about what people need from us, how they are evaluating. us how we measure up or we don't measure up. What a gift that a simple morning routine can help remind us who we most deeply are, which allows us to begin the day carrying that truth rather than searching for it as we get busier and more tired. I want that for you. I want you to start the day abiding in the deepest truth of who you are, why you're here, what beautiful things you have to offer the world. A morning routine isn't about being a robot.

and checking off a huge chunk of your list before anyone else wakes up and then giving yourself a pat on the back for it. It's about recognizing what you need to gradually increase your energy, the energy of who you are and what you uniquely as a person get to carry into the day. It is a beautiful gift that you can give yourself. So let's do it. Let's do this. Let's start the ball rolling on what this looks like practically. I've done a lot of preaching. Now let's get practical. Okay, so what do you want your morning routine to look like? What makes you feel most like a person? This is honestly such an active self-care. You're choosing something on purpose that provides care for your body and your soul. So what does that look like for you? Everyone is different. Do you need to be alone? Do you need to

brain dump into a journal or to another person? Do you need to move? Do you need to move your body? Do you need to be still? Does it help to know what's coming that day? Or is it better to sit in the present and not actively think about productivity right away? It's honestly going to be so different for everyone. But asking yourself these questions really helps. What is your ideal morning? And let's be clear that it's like a regular morning.

I mean, my ideal morning is I wake up like in an ocean front beach house with nothing to do and nowhere to go. and no one needing me. But that is not real life. So what's your real life ideal morning? Create the whole scene. The smells, the sounds, the tastes, the temperature of your coffee. Let's try to keep that ideal too. Like who's around and who's not. What you're saying to yourself, how you feel physically. I noticed a while back that if I walked into the kitchen without washing my face first, I felt gross. Like it kind of just changed my whole perspective on how I felt physically. Very strange. So part of my ideal morning is washing my face before I leave my bedroom. The things that come to mind for you, they might feel a little silly like that too, but they're not.

They're not silly. They're really important. Don't dismiss what does indeed matter. Nobody has to know, you know, you know, now, then I need to wash my face in the morning to feel like a person. But this is your morning routine. You just do what you need. You do what you need. Okay. But you also, might be thinking about all those ideal things and how none of them are happening right now and that there's no way you're going to make this routine happen. It's like too much. It's too hard. So you might as well just stick with the way it is right now. All right. I have five words for you. Five. Five. One step at a time. One step at a time. In the blog post I mentioned the universal path to life giving routine. I share some reasons why routine matters. And some of those reasons

aren't on the regular laundry list of why routine is good. And one of those is that small steps have more impact than big ones, like scientifically. When you start with the tiniest, most seemingly inconsequential step, you're more likely to get to the place you want. So if your options are to continue with the morning you currently have, this episode is brought to you by Defender, with its 626 horsepower twin-turbo V8. engine, the defender, Octa, is taking on the Dakar rally. The ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca.

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A special series of, series on how our public spaces can spark awe, wonder, and enhance the quality of public life. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. Or to add one tiny, tiny, tiny step towards your ideal morning. Don't you think it's worth taking this small step? Like, what have you got to lose? You know? So, how do you do that?

Maybe you mentally made a list of what happens in your ideal morning. Maybe you should actually pause this episode and quickly write some of those things down. Okay, so now what you're going to do is you're going to choose one thing on that list to be the first brick in your morning routine foundation. Okay? You're going to take that one small step every morning until you're naturally ready to add another. And you'll know, you'll know when it's time. You'll know when you're ready. Routines are buildable.

I talk about that in the blog post. Each small step leads to the next one. It might feel slow and even silly and that it's not making any difference, but it is. It really is. I shared this in that post. I really hope you could read the post. But I will quickly share this little story here. So I've always wanted to start the day with yoga.

I just want to be the kind of person who wakes up early and does half an hour of yoga every day to start my day. So I was like, I'll just start doing that. I'll just get up and do half an hour and everything will be great. Except it was not great. Right? It was not great. Have you ever committed to a workout routine and flamed out?

If you said no, you are lying. We have all done it. And the reason we've all done it is because we started too big. We flame out because we start too big. So late last year, I committed to doing one downward facing dog a day. Just that one pose one time. That's it. It was too small to not do. Right. And that is the huge key in all this. Your first routine brick has to be so small that you can't not do it. And if you have anxiety about doing your small step every day, then your step. is too big. I just said I would do one down dog a day. That's ridiculous. Like what good does that do? It does no good. Except it does because guess what happened? I took that first small step.

I did a down dog every day for like three months. Then I started holding it longer. Then I started doing a full round of sun salutations. Sun salutation? Is that something you pluralize? I don't really know. But I would do one flow. And that takes literally less than one minute. Like still. I mean, four months in,

and I'm still a minute every morning in yoga. But then I started doing like two flows and then three. Now, I'm at a point now. I'm still building one tiny step at a time. But now I start every morning, you guys every morning with about 10 minutes of yoga. I'll explain the domino effect of that in just a minute, but that tiny small step actually made a huge difference because small steps

that seem so small they're stupid are really the only step that truly moves you down a path that matters. It is the only way. I mean, it really is. Like you, you may be that unique person who can make a big commitment to something and follow through with it with the right accountability and situation and all of that. But for most of us, for most of you listening, that's just not a thing. You've tried it and it doesn't work. So what's your small step? Look at your list that you have in your head or on your paper. Choose the one thing that feels like it would make the biggest difference to start in kind of

helping you feel like yourself and gradually increasing your productivity energy, your productive energy every day and then do one small step. It could be that one thing that you do pick is too big to start and you need to start smaller than that. Okay, so let's say, for an example, let's say you want to meditate every morning for 10 minutes. Meditate for one. One minute. That's it.

You can fit in one minute. And that one minute will go to two and then five and then ten. And then you'll start to add the other pieces. And you guys, it happens way quicker than you think. This is a good time to finish up with my morning routine. Let's just go ahead and do that. Okay, so a few months ago, my morning routine was a little bit scattered. I always tried to get up like 15 or 30 minutes before my kids just to have some.

some quiet and I would unload the dishwasher or start making lunches or maybe I'd read a prayer or make coffee. There wasn't really any regularity to what I did except that I usually just got up a little bit earlier. And that was a few months ago and that was fine. I mean, that was fine. Like that was my small step was really just getting up earlier. I didn't know that's what I was doing, but that's kind of what I was doing. And so I still, but I still felt rushed, right? Like I couldn't quite get on top of everything that needed doing. But you know, you do. You do. You know, do what you got to do, right? But that one tiny step of down dog every day I told you about adding that. Here's what happened to my morning routine. All the domino effects that came from that. So my boys,

they have those alarms that light up when they're allowed to get out of bed because my kids wake up earlier than I want them to. So they cannot get out of bed until the green light comes on. That's what we say. When can you get out of bed when my green light comes on, which happens at 636 every morning. So I try to be up by 6 a.m. But 5.30 is ideal. And since my daughter still seems to wake up around 515 because she's kicked off her blanket and it's cold, I'm usually up because I have to go put her blanket on her. And I think also my body's kind of gotten used to getting up in the mid fives. And assuming that I didn't go to bed super late, the mid fives actually feel really good for me. Now it's not for everybody. This isn't a rule. This is just what works for me. So I get up around 530, sometimes 545. I wash my

face, of course, I put on my glasses and my slippers and I go into the living. I totally wear slippers. You guys, if you're not wearing slippers in your house, you are missing out. I go to my living room where I do my yoga, which is about 10 minutes. I meditate for right now about five minutes, but I've been adding to that like a little at a time working up because meditation is it is the worst, but it's also the best for recognizing stillness. It helps my brain. It helps my thought life. It's just, it's a really, it's been a really important practice for me. So I'm adding to that like a tiny tiny bits, but I'm right around five minutes right now. Then I read my Bible for a few minutes or I just mull over a single verse while I start my coffee. I read a prayer from the diary of private

prayer, which I love. It, um, it has a morning and evening prayer for 31 days. So you just repeat them every month and I love that. And then I put on a morning playlist of music that I created on purpose and it helps kind of ground me while I finish packing lunches that I started the night before. I finish unloading the dishwasher if I didn't finish that the night before. I get out stuff for breakfast and by this time it's usually around 645 and I hear my boys opening and closing their drawers and they're getting dressed for the day. So all of that, it all can happen if I wake up at 6. And if I do happen to get up earlier, sometimes there's time to look at my to-do list for the day or even put together an Instagram post or edit a blog post or something work-related.

Like I might get 20 minutes in front of the computer to work. Not always. But if there's time, I do like to do that. But the point is, that gradual movement towards my own unique productive energy, it makes the entire day better. I'm more patient if my boys are fighting over who gets the last muffin, which happens often. I'm not as annoyed if my daughter who often sleeps until like eight, like if she wakes up at seven, that positive energy, it spills over into motivation to chop an onion for dinner or make a quick

marinade for the chicken and I'm going to buy later that afternoon at the store. You know, like I don't, I don't feel guilty listening to podcasts or music because my movement has been kind and gradual. and the messages that I am telling myself are much more gracious. I'm not mad at myself for always being behind or never getting enough done or never being enough for anyone or whatever. Like all that, it just matters. That routine matters.

It makes a huge difference in my day. And you guys, again, that all started just a few months ago doing one down dog a day. You might not have the morning routine you want tomorrow. It might not happen tomorrow. But if you positively begin with like the craziest small, small step, you might be surprised how your morning routine will begin shaping itself quickly. Four months, six months, like in many ways, it's really nothing, right? It's kind of a blip.

And considering the alternative, like, is just staying where we are, I'm super willing to do one tiny step at a time to get to this place for six, 12 months later. I'm not saying that there's a magic time frame or like if you don't have a morning routine built up in four months and you're doing it wrong. That's not true at all. This is just kind of my perspective on how it happens. But the point is that routine is buildable and small steps are better than big ones. So to recap, a morning routine is kindly opening the day to increase your productive energy gradually, right? Which helps you feel rooted in who you truly are. So decide on your real life ideal morning pick one thing from that list and pick one small step that is too small to ignore

and start doing it and if you need a reminder you can set an alarm on your phone you can put a note on your mirror if your small step is to drink a cup of hot coffee alone put the mug on the counter the night before set visual reminders i have um i have a download from a blog post i wrote last year that you can get um in your inbox like right away if you want I'll put a link to it in the show notes, but it's 30 days of small steps is that this is the free download that you can get email to you. And it's a card with 30 circles. It's super simple.

It's a card with 30 circles that you can fill in to mark your daily small step. And it's surprisingly fulfilling to color in those circles. That could be your visual. That could be the visual that you need to kind of mark this and remind it for, remind yourself. So you can find that and all the other things we talked about in the show notes, which you can access at the lazy genius collective.com slash lazy. slash morning. I am so excited for you about this.

This is really exciting stuff. And we are going to keep talking about routines all April. So I seriously can't wait. And I really hope that these conversations are a gift and encourage you toward a life more rooted in who you truly are. That's really the ultimate goal here. Okay. So before we go, let's do our lazy genius tip of the week.

This is going to sound weird, but it's also pretty great. So most of you probably drink coffee every morning. If you don't, this will be nothing to you. And I'm so sorry. But for those of you who do drink coffee every morning, unless you have one of those pod coffee makers, I guess this doesn't apply to pod coffee people. But you always end up with coffee grounds, right? Before you dump them out of your drip maker, your French press or whatever you use,

take a pinch of those coffee grounds, those used coffee grounds. Put them in your hand, put a pinch in your hand, pump a little hand soap into those grounds and then wash your hands you just created an exfoliating hand scrub that will make your skin feel like silk and it will smell like coffee which is a lovely thing I had a had a coconut scented soap for a while and that in combination with the coffee grounds stop it it was like it was so good but it's not really about the scent it's about creating like a little free skin care routine every time you dump your coffee grounds use a pinch and take your time the time that you

would already use to wash your hands and just use this coffee ground. I mean, like, you're exfoliating your hands and like your upper arms just a little bit every day. And like that is, it's surprisingly delightful. It's like this little two seconds of pampering that you're already doing because you're already washing your hands and you're just throwing the coffee grounds in the trash. So I know it's weird that it's also awesome. And I hope that you try it.

Okay. So that is it for today. Thank you so much for listening. Please consider passing this episode along to a friend or a neighbor. or a sister, I want so desperately to see us women collectively encourage growth in who we are and help each other to do life in a way that moves us, that gives priority to what matters and helps us just live regular life in a way that doesn't deplete every ounce of energy. So if you use the Overcast app, and I think the Apple Podcast app does this too,

I don't know about Android apps, but there's a way to click share where you can text or send an episode link over Twitter to someone. Do you think might enjoy it? Or you can text the link or email it or something like that. So a lot of you, I'm so grateful for those of you who already do that on such a regular basis. And there are more lazy geniuses because of you. And don't we want everyone to live this way?

Like, for real. I want everyone to be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. That world would be a lovely place. So thank you for helping grow it by sharing these episodes. It means the world. Like literally, it's just the best. I appreciate you so much. So until next week, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things

that don't. I'll see you next week. Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it?

I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming You. People think, okay, an A-plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming You wherever you get your podcasts.