The Lazy Genius Podcast - A Fall Bucket List (But Better)

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

Why better? Well, bucket lists, while wonderful, also carry a lot of pressure. So today, let’s make a list of favorite things you love about fall – things you want to eat, drink, cook, see, smell, watch, listen to, and do before we hit Thanksgiving. And then I’ll share some ideas on how to incorporate your fall favorites into your life. Helpful Companion LinksOrder my book The PLAN or ask your library to consider carrying a copy.My Golden Milk instagram postNorth Carolina Homesick candlePink Moon by Nick DrakeBreezy Instrumental, my most popular playlist forever (Spotify)So You Married a Human by Jackie KelleyEpisode #322: What to Do with Random Pockets of TimeSign up for our every-other-week podcast recap emailSign up for my once-a-month newsletterSign up for my once-a-month book review email, The Book ListGrab a copy of my book The Lazy Genius Kitchen or The Lazy Genius Way! (Affiliate links)Download a transcript of this episode.Want to share your Lazy Genius of the Week idea with us? Use this form to tell us about it or record your idea and share your voice on the show.

Welcome to the lazy genius podcast where we all get to be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Every Monday, you'll learn to compassionately manage your time, wisely solve problems, and kindly live in your season. I'm your host, Kendra Adachi, and I am so very glad you're here. Today's episode 488, a fall bucket list, but better. Why better? Well, bucket lists, while wonderful, also carry like a lot of pressure and frankly morbidity to them. I mean, the origin is from the phrase kick the bucket, which means to die. And while I think it's great to have a list of things you'd love to do before you die, that is a less appropriate list and energy when like I just want to, I don't know, enjoy October.

Also, since one of the 13 lazy genus principles is to live in your season. And many of us, like we're enjoying the parts of the season that we love. that make us feel happy and alive, some things that are usually limited only to fall. And it's fall. I want you to have things that you love about this season that actually make it onto your calendar and into your life. I think that when we're intentional about those things, the stuff that we have to do, it feels lighter and better. We have the emotional capacity to be present and enjoy where we are. So today we're going to create a better list for fall, your fall favorites. We're going to make a list of favorite things that you love about fall,

things you want to eat, drink, cook, see, smell, watch, listen to all the things before we hit Thanksgiving. But then the important thing here is to make sure they happen. Like making the list is not going to be hard at all. Like that's a really fun part. But how can we ensure that your fall favorites actually happen? I feel like it's simpler than we often make it out to be. I've got some ideas for you to incorporate your fall favorites into your life. In some ways, I think this episode is almost like what's saving my life, but in reverse. Like, we're, we're preemptively putting things into our fall lives that make life feel really good right now. I'm really excited. So let's set the stage a little bit for this season. The, the wide expanse of time between summer

and, like, the winter holidays, is stereotypically a favorite time of year, September, but a especially October and the beginning of November. People love fall, myself included. You're in a routine, but you're not overwhelmed by Thanksgiving and Christmas quite yet. Maybe the weather is cooling down, but it's not freezing outside. It's just like a good time. There are so many things that feel like it's almost like they belong in October and nowhere else. Also the fall season, it can feel really busy. That's the other side of it, right? There's kids sports and school activities. There's There's, you know, some workplaces, they start to get a little crazy at the start of Q4 to hit annual goals that still have a ways to go. October really does feel like it flies by.

It holds so much fun and coziness and magic, but it can also be gone in a blink because there aren't like really big holiday anchors. Like I know there's Halloween, but it's quite literally the last day. And then suddenly we realized we did not enjoy the season that we had hoped to. this quote from from Tolkien this is going to be our guide today okay do not spoil the wonder with haste legolas says this to gimbly in the return of the king and i'm saying it to you now do not spoil the wonder with haste let's take our time this fall season enjoying what we love about it what the season offers how we can experience in a way that matters and like do it in a really small sustainable way so that we are enjoying the wonder and what we love of

about the season without like rushing through the whole thing, right? So we're going to make, we're going to make our fall favorites list. I'm very excited. Obviously, yours will be different from mine and everyone else listening, but I do want to give you just some ideas and categories to think about so you can catch the things that really matter to you. What I would really love for you to do is to take like a little bit of time over the next couple days. And you can keep a list of what your fall favorites are. Like as things come to mind or, you know, as you even do like a little research on, you know, what movies or shows are coming out or books you want to read or whatever it is. You can put those on your list as you sort of think through things.

You might not leave this episode with a complete list per se, but you will have some tools to make one and to also make it happen. Now, before we get into making your list, I want to lay down just a few ground rules. You need to keep these things in mind so that you don't turn fall into like, I don't know, like some sort of memory robot situation, you know, we want to make sure that you're doing this with like soul and humanity and you're not forcing anything. So the first thing I want you to keep in mind is to say yes to what matters first. That's honestly the point of today's episode, is to name what matters the most to you, what your favorite things are so you can actually

say yes to them in this season. It doesn't mean that other things in the fall season won't happen, but it is so important that you say yes to what matters first so that those things definitely do, right? Number two, a no right now is not a no forever. There may be things that you love about fall that cannot happen this year for whatever reason, many of which are probably out of your control. Just because you have to let something go this year, it does not mean that you're letting it go forever, right? Now is not forever, thankfully. Three, be careful. Be careful. about manufacturing memories. We are creating space for enjoyable fall things to happen, but hold a very loose grip on how things go or how your people react to them. Like you cannot,

you cannot manufacture memories. So just take a breath and relax. You're going to have more fun that way anyway. Number four is to combine your senses. Okay, so like, hear me out on this one. When you link sensory experiences, when you combine a couple of things like listening to fallish music while also lighting a candle or having a mug of something like spicy and warm next to you. Like even if you're doing work or chores, that enhances everything. It's like you're injecting fall into your just regular daily life in a tangible, tactile way. and it's pretty great, especially if you combine multiple senses at once. It's like an, it's immersive. It's so great.

And then the fifth thing that I want you to remember is like, it's basically a repeat of, of number one, which is, you know, say yes to the things that matter first. But please, please, choose the most important thing from each, you know, category or whatever that we're going to talk about. Please don't choose everything. it's fine and fun to make a really long list of like recipes that you want to make or, you know, books you want to read or things you want to watch, like all the different things. Like you can have the longest list ever and it's so, so fun.

But here's the thing is you make your list. I just want to make sure that you are prioritizing, even like putting a little star next to the one thing in its category so that you're sure to do it. It's a real gift you're giving your. yourself because if you just do that one thing and nothing else on that list, it's still going to feel like Faultio because it's like your top thing, right? You'll still have done your favorite thing and loved it, even if the other things didn't quite make it. So even though making this entire favorites list is super, super fun and I hope you get to enjoy everything that you write on it.

I just want you to be aware of starting small. Start with the thing that's like the most important thing so that you will actually do it. So let's start with the fun part. Let's jump in and we're going to make our, we're going to make our fall favorites list. I'll share some like typical categories and then my favorite thing from within them as you think about yours. So let's start with, let's start with beverages. Let's start with fall beverages. Okay. There's so many issues from the PSL, certain kinds of beer, apple cider, hot chocolate. I don't know. The thing that I personally love to drink in the fall the most is golden milk or my own version of it. There's an old post on my Instagram page that shares how I make it. But it's basically like, here's how I do it. It's like brewed spice tea

with turmeric added and then any extra spices that I might want, which I don't usually need them because of the tea itself. And then like a generous pour of creamy milk. I love both oat milk and heavy cream. It makes this absolutely luscious like golden drink. And then, like a generous pour of creamy milk. I love both oat milk and heavy cream. it makes this absolutely luscious, like golden drink that's warm and spicy and cream and super delicious. It's so good. And listen, it is something I only want to drink in October, November. Truly, I don't care that much about drinking like special fall lattes or making homemade cider or hot toddies or whatever. I mean, if it's like there, I'll drink it.

It's fine. But my fall favorite is golden milk. So that's the only beverage going on my list because it is my favorite and I want to make sure that I enjoy it. So do the same for you. Like what is the drink that you're like, man, this is the one. Same goes for foods. What about foods? So your fall favorite food, it might be, I don't know, like soup as a category or some other comfort food like chicken pot pie.

Or maybe it's an ingredient, you know, like anything with apple or anything with pumpkin. maybe your fall favorite food is tied to an experience like baking a pie or roasting marshmallows or having like a huge pancake dinner with maple syrup, something like that. Mine is chili and homemade cornbread. Oh my goodness. So I usually make it about three times throughout October and November and it makes me so happy. I don't usually make it other times of the year. Like I can sometimes, but not really. So my cornbread recipe, I will share in the next newsletter if you would like it. I think I've actually shared it before like a year or two ago. But if you want cornbread that's like just a little sweet and just how I like it,

you can sign up for the newsletter at the lazy genius collective.com slash join. Or you can just like use your favorite cornbird recipe and make it like or from a box. Like it doesn't matter. Or not do it at all because you don't like cornbread. The point is that is the fall food. that's the meal that I am prioritizing. The other stuff is fine if and when it happens. But I am most definitely prioritizing chili and homemade cornbread at my cast iron skillet because it is without question my fall favorite. And again, I highly encourage you to take the same approach. What's your absolute

favorite or very, very, very, very small set of favorites? I will give you a very small set that just like have to happen in order for it to feel like fall. That's the point here. Like what is, is it for you? Prioritize those. Do them. And then you will feel like fall is definitely fall. And it doesn't, you know, pass you by. So that's like food and drink. So what about sensory, kind of vibey things, you know, like fall aesthetics? Like what's your favorite fall aesthetic? Is it candles? Like you'll light candles or maybe it's the smell of the candles. And so it's like pine and, you know, sandalwood or whatever. Is it wearing cozy socks around the house, you know, dressing like you're in a Nora

Ephron movie? Is it lots of blankets, flannel, sweatshirts, bonfires in the front yard? Like, name your favorite thing so you can be sure to do it. Okay? Mine is the homesick candle in the scent North Carolina, which is where I live. So the company homesick, they do all kinds of scents tied to places. and vibes. I've honestly never smelled one that I didn't love. Like, they're all really great. Their false sense are great. But my absolute favorite candle that they make will forever be,

forever be the North Carolina candle. The state candles, I love the concept of them. And they nailed the North Carolina candle. Oh, so well. So homesick, what they do is they share the notes of all their candles so that you, you know, you know what's going to smell like. The way, this is how this one is described. It's top notes of blackberry peach and tobacco. Listen, if you live in North Carolina, you know the smell of tobacco, not smoke, tobacco. You can really smell the tobacco in this candle. And coming from a state and a family that farmed tobacco for generations, it smells like home. It smells like safe, familiar home.

There are midnotes, again, according to the website of cinnamon, sugar, and clove, and then base notes of vanilla, amber, and tonka bean. So I think the tobacco and tonka bean, they like ground what would be just like a just a spicy candle. But the combination is just the most perfect fall smell on the planet. It is like without question, my favorite fall aesthetic. I don't really burn it until October. It doesn't fit in July. Like it's just a candle you burn in October.

Now I lit it for the first time about two weeks ago. It was still September. It was 95 degrees outside, but I just could not wait any longer. It was like, I want to burn my own light a candle. Once we drop below like 75, that puppy is going to be burning constantly. I also have to mention sweatshirts in here. Like such a slow pitch, not hard to incorporate into life at all. But I'm such a fan of crewneck sweatshirts, not so much hoodies, but I love a crewneck.

I have too many. And I also need more. You know, you understand that problem. I just love them. I wear them almost every day once it gets cool enough to. It's like not a fall favorites list for me without mentioning sweatshirts. but it's easy to do because it's like just what I put on, you know? So what's your favorite fall aesthetic? What's like the sensory aesthetic you really love and you do not want to do without? Like it's not

fall without this thing for you, right? So prioritize that favorite. Like name it and prioritize it. So it will actually happen again without the season just going by. And then you're like, oh no, I didn't burn my candles. they didn't burn my candles. We don't want anybody to be sad about not burning their candles. Another fall like aesthetic that's really easy to add that kind of deserves its own like categorical mention is music. Music requires very little effort. It just plays in the background, obviously. It just enhances whatever you're doing with great fall vibes. So pay attention to music in your life when you can or name if there are albums that you love to listen to in the fall. Like one of mine that I love listening to in the fall is Pink Moon by Nick Drake.

That's a classic. Belongs in the fall to me. I love listening to it like only a couple of months a year because it just transports me so much. It's like I save it on purpose because then it's like, oh, here we are. Like it just feels really good. Like some other album ideas, Nat King Cole for fall, the like, I don't know, title-ish is autumn leaves. It's like a compilation of remastered song. songs that feel like fall. His voice feels like fall. So good. I love Nat King Cole. Sure by Fleet

Foxes. Anything by Fleet Foxes really. Super fall. You can hardly stand it. A winter in every single way. Ella Fitzgerald is a great fall artist. I like to kind of double up with Ella and Louis the album with her and Louis and Louis. So good. Like vibes for days. Lolan Hum is another band that has really great fall vibes, no matter the album that you listen to. Like, I love all of their stuff. I think Thin is probably my favorite album of theirs and super, super fallish. Pumpkin by Georgia Parker, For Mary by Olive Jones, Iron and Wine, Sufant Stevens, Nina Simone. Music is just like the best way to add a fall aesthetic. And of course, you can always look up Breezy Instrumental, my most popular playlist of all time. It will be a lovely fall companion to your ears. Okay, so we've done like food,

drink, aesthetics, including music. Now let's actually like get to get down to it. What are the activities? What are the fall favorite activities that you try to do every year that are like your favorite thing about this season? This is the category that is usually the hardest to actually incorporate because it's something you have to plan, right? So getting a beer at a local brewery and being outside in a sweater. You know, that's a fall activity that you're just like, here we are, we did it. Walking in the woods is the leaves change. Going to a pumpkin patch or carving pumpkins, buying mums from the farmer's market, maybe apple picking, jumping in a pile of leaves, camping, s'mores, high school football, the state fair, a corn maze, right? So many of these

things only happen in October and November. So it's like a blast to name the thing that you love the most so you can make sure it happens. That sounds like a little song. Name the thing you love the most so you can make sure it happens. I mentioned this particular thing a million times, but our fall opening ceremony has been the same for like 15 years. It doesn't really truly and feel like fall until we do this thing. We go to a local farm, we do their corn maze and hayride, and then we buy pumpkins from them. Sometimes we carve them. Sometimes you just put them on the porch. Then we get Culver's custard on the way home. That's a new addition because now we have a Culver's. It's like too far to just go to Culver's, but the farm is far. So we go there on our way home and we get custard.

It is so fun. It's such a fun four hours. We've gone since Sam. was super little. We kept adding our own kids. In the last few years, we have added other people's children so that our kids have friends with them. Just the other day, Sam, who is my oldest, he is a junior in high school. He was like, hey, when are we going to the corn maze this year? I'm trying to think about who I want to invite. It's just what we do. And it's so fun. We have such a good time. It's very ordinary, but also, like, really sweet. So we actually have like a million pictures of our family at the start of the corn maze, like as the children just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger. It's a great little walk down memory lane, this tradition

we've been doing for so long. But that's the only thing I really need to prioritize, right? That's the thing. That's our fall favorite thing. The other thing, that's fine. Now, I do love some of the other experiences that I listed as ideas for you, especially high school football. Man, do I love high school football? That's built into our lives already. I don't have to plan that because my boys are in the marching band and we go to the games anyway, right? They're just, that's just what we do. The corn maze is different, right? We've got to, like, carve out time to do that over a weekend. And if we don't, fall isn't real. It just isn't real. The other stuff that I listed, it is a, it's like a fun bonus if we happen to do it,

but it doesn't have to happen. I'm going to spend my planning energy making sure our favorite thing happens. And that's what I want for you too. What's your favorite fall activity that you just want to make sure you plan? Prioritize that one thing. So you make sure it happens. Let's talk about one more very broad category, but like shows, movies, books. Some people love to reread or rewatch certain things in the fall. Other people have things that they're looking forward to enjoying for the first time in the fall. So like you might always watch, it's a great pumpkin Charlie Brown. Or the first season. of Gilmore Girls, practical magic, when Harry Met Sally, Little Women, Harry Potter,

you've got male, like, you know, all of these, and a million more, they feel like they belong in fall. So maybe like choose if there's a show or a movie or a book that is your fall favorite, and you want to make sure that you watch or read it this month. It's probably better to choose just one from each category if you even do that, especially if you're already tied on time, just so you can make sure that that one book or one show or one movie actually happens. But you also might be a person who has a whole list of things that you're going to binge, and you will absolutely get it done. You will accomplish this quest, and I love that for you.

I wish that that was true of me. I will almost certainly reread the ocean at the end of the lane by Neil Gaiman. It is one of my favorite books of all time. It's short, weird, very atmospheric. It's about a boy who thinks his dad's new wife is an evil creature from me. another dimension and, like, sets out to destroy her with the help of some magical friends who might be witches. It's so good. It's so good. I love it with my whole heart. But do you know what else I love that I have not read in forever? That also feels very much like it belongs in

October. It's a couple books, actually. The Night Circus by Aaron Morgan Stern. It is such a fall book. One of my favorites ever. I have not reread it in years. Like years and years. I might this year. We will see. We'll see. Same goes for Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis. I love that book. That's always going to be a top, like a top 10 book for me. It's a lot more sad. So I don't know if I'm feeling, feeling all the sad vibes. We may not reread that one, but it feels like fall, right? So think about books that you love that you might want to reread because they feel like they belong in October. Like I remember I reread the Chronicles of Narnia one fall. It was like, it was so magical. It was so magical.

There are just so many great books that feel like they deserve to be read in September, October, November. So if you have a book that you love that fits that category and it just gets you really excited to pick it up again, add that to your full favorites list. I love that. Okay, what about like shows and movies that are coming out soon? That is also a really fun list to make. I don't know about you, but I often let new shows and movies that I am looking forward to.

Like, I know they're coming. I know they're being made, and they just slide on by. That is like the hardest thing for me to incorporate into life. I think for a lot of reasons. And it always kind of makes me sad. Like, y'all, I still have not seen Project Hell Mary. Still. Mostly because Ben wants to see it too, as does cause.

But it's just really hard to find something that three of us can do that takes that long, that's also that loud in the house, that Sam and Annie are not interested in or around for. So we just still have not done it. That's something I really want to do this fall. I want to watch Project Hail Mary. I've been waiting for so long. I also want to see the new sense and sensibility. Of course, with Daisy Edgar Jones. The one with Emma Thompson remains my favorite movie of all time. I'm not expecting this movie to be as dear to me as that one is, but I am still super-dibber excited to see that version. Like, I want to go to the theater. I want to actually go to the theater to watch that movie. I am super,

pumped about the show below that is coming out on Netflix in a couple of weeks. It's Josh Hartnett, McKenzie Davis, and Charlie Heaton from Stranger Things. It feels like a mix between Stranger Things and Midnight Mass. Like it looks a little bit like Midnight Mass. So I typically avoid stories with boats and oceans. And this one is literally about like a scary sea monster in a fishing village. But I'm super pumped. I'm really, really excited to see it. Season four of The Diplomat comes out in the middle of October. I'll be locked in on that one.

The new season of Bake Off just started. Annie and I've had that on the calendar for like a really long time. But those are just, those are shows and things that I've been really, really looking forward to. And I hope that I make time for them. But here is the thing about books, shows, and movies. Make your list of things that are fun to rewatch or reread or read or experience for the first time. But I would consider, in order to make them like really sort of count, especially when your time is so limited, I would try to pair those experiences with other

fall things, other sensory things. Like while you are reading or watching, make hot toddies, bake a pie, eat chicken soup, sit under blankets and like notice that that's what you're doing. light candles, eat caramel popcorn, you know, like do things that enhance the experience of watching or reading in a very fallish way. And you will be so stinking happy. Okay, so just recapping my list and then we'll talk about very simply how to like get these things done. My personal list of fall favorites that I will make sure they happen. Golden milk, which is again such a weird name, Golden milk, chili and cornbread, the North Carolina candle, sweatshirts, pink moon, and honestly just like constant fall music, if we're honest, but that's not hard for me.

Corn Mays Day, high school football, rereading the ocean at the end of the lane, going to see sense and sensibility, and watching Project Hell Mary and probably below at home. Okay. Below feels like fall, which is why I'm like prioritizing that. The diplomat just happens to be coming out in the fall. I could watch it any time. even though I will almost certainly watch it in October because I've been so excited for the new season. But that is my list. Like super, super simple, honestly. But like peak favorites. Like I just saying those things in a row. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Okay. Now, here's how we make these things happen practically. Okay. Once you have your list, I hope it's not super long so that you can actually do it.

Okay. Keep it to your favorites if you can. Or just. like make your full list and then star the ones that matter the most. So you don't have a list of like 25 unprioritized things that you're trying to do. And then you just feel overwhelmed and you don't end up doing a lot of them. Or you don't end up doing your favorites because you didn't think about what those would be. So I really encourage you to keep it small and doable. So the enjoyment actually happens, especially if you often look back at a season like fall. And you're like, man, that went by so fast. I feel like I didn't enjoy it the way that I wanted to. That is the point of this exercise is to not have that moment so that you can enjoy the season the way that you want it to.

Okay, so you're going to have your list. You will have things on there that will naturally happen like me and high school football. It's already there. Or like me and sweatshirts. I'm just going to wear them, right? I'm just going to notice that I'm going to wear them. But then there are other things that need more planning or they will not happen. Okay. So I want you to start with those things. I want you to start with the things that need a little more thought, maybe even a little bit of troubleshooting. Okay. What might keep you from doing that thing that you're really excited about? When you name what matters and then you also name the obstacle that might keep you from it, it's just much easier to make sure it happens because you're just thinking through one step of like, what kept me from doing this?

before. Chances are pretty good. It's just not thinking about it or letting your month get, you know, you're so far in October and you just were like, oh, no, I didn't put that thing on the calendar. And then it's sort of over, right? So we're doing this early so that that doesn't happen. Our corn maze day is like clearly the biggest thing on my list that is the most likely to not happen just because of how quickly October weekends fill up. So what I did, I already put a a like a placeholder event on the calendar for the Saturday that I think we're going to go, just so that day doesn't fill up. Now, it's not locked in yet, but I've got a place to start from. What's interesting, too, is last night, Sam, it was talking about he's got to film like an audition

video for this big band thing he's doing. And I was like, oh, cool, what day are you thinking of doing that? Because he has to do it with this teacher. And he said the Saturday that I had put on a calendar. I was like, okay, but what was so great is that was not a terribly stressful answer because it's like, all right, we can work around that day when he needs to do his audition, or as we get closer, we could bump it to a different day. I can do a placeholder on two different Saturdays just in case so that we make sure that it happens, right? Now, your obstacle, it might not be logistics like mine is, but when you name the thing that is most likely to keep you from doing your favorite thing, you're more likely to find a solution before it's too late.

That sounds very dire, but you know what I mean. So look at your list, notice the things that are less likely to happen without a little help. Name what could keep it from happening and then put something in place to prevent that, okay? And then next, just schedule whatever can be scheduled. Just put stuff on the calendar, you know? And you can put it with like question marks and possibilities that put something on the calendar. So for me, I'm going to put chili and cornbread on the meal calendar later in October once it's hopefully like colder outside. That if I have to move it a few days because it's not colder or because that day was like not a good day to make chili and cornbread, no big deal.

But it's on our dry erase calendar for October, right? It's in a place. It's got a place. The Corn Maze Day, again, currently on the calendar, it might have to move. Hopefully it won't. We have got a night coming up where Sam is gone for a school thing. And so I might actually put Project Hell Mary movie night on the calendar that night. And maybe it will actually happen because it's marked on a certain day.

Like, hopefully it will. And unless I schedule it, though, it probably won't. unless I give myself some sort of reminder, it's probably not going to happen. The same thing is true of that show below. It comes out the first week of October. I've got a lot of stuff going on that week. The week after, though, I put it on my calendar with a question mark on my day off to be like, oh, watch below. Should we watch below this day? Like, I just do a binge watch and eat soup and drink golden milk under a blanket and have the actual best time. The point is, is that it's scheduled, right? It exists. When it exists, you can still move it around. But if you just

keep it in your head, it doesn't exist. You might as well not. Our brains are holding too many things. So schedule what can be scheduled even if it is not official, right? So I want you to do that with your list. Schedule what can be scheduled. Some things do not need that, but schedule whatever does. and if you are unsure, if you don't want to lock it in, just put a question mark next to it. Or like, make it a different color on your digital calendar or whatever. Like, it's just a placeholder. You're just making a place so you don't have to cram it in where there's no space later. Then for, like, the other small things, like candles, drinks, sweatshirts, here's my invitation to you.

Just be intentional. I just want you to notice and enjoy. Like put on Nat King Cole, wear your cozy sweater, light a candle. Like those small things have a lot of power, especially like I said earlier, when they are like bundled together. And it's easy to forget that. So here's your reminder not to forget that. Don't forget the power of small things. When you get up in the morning, put on a great album like Nora Jones or something, you know. Put on Nora. brew your coffee in your favorite mug with your pumpkin creamer. Look out the window at the changing

leaves and just like enjoy that moment of fall. Let it turn you to gratitude. Depending on your faith, it could even turn you to worship. Like let those small things mean something, not by forcing memories or forcing magic, but just by letting them exist, letting them like make you smile. and make your day feel a little more fun and fallish because you love this season that you're in. I think it's really nice. This is such a simple thing to say, but I think it's nice to be grateful for seasons that we love. It's good to be grateful for seasons we don't love too. But for fall, man, it's so fun to enjoy the simple things like soup and sweaters.

It's not cliche, even though it kind of sounds like it. Like you're not basic or cliche. You're just enjoying the little things in life that make you happy. fall is full of them, full of them. So enjoy it. Enjoy it. I think at first glance this episode, it feels, it does feel kind of basic, does feel kind of obvious even, like make a list and make it happen. Maybe it is. Maybe it is. But here's the thing. So often, like I said before, you will get midway through October. I will get midway through October and not have enjoyed any of my fall favorites with intention because I just did not take the time to think about them and

schedule whatever I could. It's good work to do this. It's good work to notice your season, name what matters the most, put it in its place, and then enjoy it. Plus, it's really fun. Making your list will almost certainly be really fun. So do that over the next day or two. Make your fall favorites list. Think about what you want to eat, drink and cook. Name your most essential fall activity so you can get it on the calendar. Layer up. all those cozy aesthetics. Think about books or movies or shows you want to rewatch or enjoy for the first time. Let people into it even. Invite friends to come meet, seek with you and watch when Harry Met Sally and everyone wears their best fall sweater or brings their favorite

cozy blanket or whatever. You just do that one thing in all of October and the rest of October is like normal. That will still make fall feel so special and something that you likely look back on as a lovely memory. So live in your season and start small. And that is a fall bucket list, up a better. Okay, after the break, we're going to have an office hours question about how to handle house rules when an older parent moves in and a great lazy genus of the week with how to handle a random pocket of time.

We'll be right back. Kids, you have a lot of questions. Is it crocodile a dinosaur? Why do people vote? How does your food turn into your poop? But why? A podcast for Curious Kids has answers. I'm Jane Lindholm. Join me as we dig deep into everything from science to history, nature, emotions, and sometimes even the weird.

Why are jellyfish is made of jelly? Or are they made of jelly? Fine, but why, wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, this week's office hours comes from Kelsey. Kelsey asks, My 80-year-old father has just moved in with my family, my husband, three kids, and a dog in me. And I'm trying to navigate house rules with him. He's an adult and really doesn't have to listen to me the way my kids do. And it has caused some frustration for me and only me, particularly in my kitchen. The big thing that is driving me particularly crazy is dishes sitting out to dry. My husband and I recently made the agreement that we would wash and dry whatever dishes don't fit in the dishwasher.

rather than leaving them to dry because it makes my life easier later. But naturally, my father just says, let's put a towel on the counter and let them dry and we can put them away later in the morning. And then I walk into the kitchen in the morning to a counter full of dishes. I couldn't even reach the coffee pot this morning because of all the dishes. So then I have to put dishes away before I even have my coffee a travesty. I'm just wondering if you have any thoughts on how to get other adults on board for house rules. Okay, so this is most definitely a challenge, Kelsey.

I don't know how long your dad has been living with you. It doesn't sound like it's been a very long time. So everyone's lives are being upturned by this, right? Yours, your families, your dads. And clearly it's top of mind because you said you couldn't get to the coffee pot this morning. You and your caffeine intake were impacted as early as today, at least the day that you wrote this in. And as I thought about how to answer your question, I did put myself in your shoes because I also would prefer to have every who lives in one house to abide by the same house rules as well. Like, I think that makes things easy for everyone. But then I also was imagining your dad and what a huge change it is for him to go from being like, you know, an independent person who takes care of his family to needing to move in

with you, his daughter and live in a new place with new rhythms and his stuff is in different places and, you know, figuring out how to make it his home too. Like it is. It's an adjustment for everybody. Chances are pretty good. that the cycle of dishes does not matter to him in the same way that it matters to you. That's a normal thing in homes where more than one person lives. You're going to have plenty of places where you disagree on what matters. That's honestly the foundation of it, right? It's not so much about adhering to house rules.

It's communicating what matters. And that can be done in the moment. In fact, when something matters more to you, this is for everybody listening, when something matters more to you than it does to someone else, the onus of that choice is usually going to fall on your shoulders. Like not always, but most of the time. For example, my husband cares about laundry more than I do. He like fluff's pant legs midway through a drying cycle.

He cares about the temperature of the water. sometimes he has come behind me in like putting in a load and he starts to say specific things about how I should wash the clothes. And a long time ago I learned I was like, hey, I think you care about this more than I do. So why don't you do it? Not in a passive aggressive way. Like in a legitimate problem solving way. Every time I've done that, he's been like, yes, please. Like, would you, does it matter enough to you for you to actually do it? And he's like, yes, it does. Like, great, man. You go for it. You do this. So it's not passive aggressive, right? It's the opposite can be true too. You can say, you know what, I care more about this. So I will happily do it. I'll do it.

I actually just read the book, So You Married a Human by Jackie Kelly, which is a marriage book with 30 rules for having an easier, more fun marriage. And one of her rules is really similar. It's do it yourself. Which again, not in a like sassy way. It's practical and very kind. If there is something that we care about more than someone else that we are living with, chances are good. We will do that thing more than they do and perhaps should. So rather than trying to get your dad on board with drying dishes and putting them away, something he doesn't really care about so much, start by doing it yourself. If your dad is washing the dishes and he starts to leave them to dry on a towel, you can pop into the kitchen, and you can start drying them and putting them away. You can just do it. Without being Huffy,

you just do it. And he might respond, oh, honey, you don't need to do that. Like, just let them dry. And then you can kindly say, you know, it's actually worth it to me to do it this way. I love a clean counter in the morning. And then you just do it. What often happens in situations like this is that whoever is washing the dishes, in this example, whoever is washing the dishes and has watched you hand dry and put those dishes away over and over again, starts to do that too because they care more about you than they care about the dishes. Like they still don't really care about the clean counter or the dishes in the same way that you do. But they care about you. And they know that you care about a clear counter. I do that with cause and laundry now. I ask him now, when I'm doing a load,

how he wants something washed if I'm doing a load that he normally does. Like, for example, our bath towels. I know that he washes them in a certain temperature, and I usually cannot remember what it is. And there's like a setting on the washing machine he likes to use for the towel. I have no idea. So if I am taking that job for him because it's been a busy week for him, and I have time and the towels need washing,

I will say to him, hey, remind me how you like to wash these. And then I will do it that way. That matters to him because he matters more to me than the towels. do. And he also really cares about the towels. Now, this is not an automatic thing. This doesn't come automatically to people. It's not always immediate. It's not even easy, especially right away. But this is the practice of being a person in a house with someone else. You name what matters to you. And when that thing does not matter as much to other people, you can communicate what matters as much as you can. But really, you'll probably need to do that thing a while before your crew realizes

how much it actually does matter, especially with people who are not your children who you don't have authority over. It's a little different for kids. You can be like, I know it doesn't matter to you, but you still got to do it. That's not really how it works when you have an equal partnership or your dad living with you, right? Like, cause he now wipes down the kitchen counters most of the time because he knows that that matters to me. I love to come into the kitchen similarly with like a clean slate. That he did not use to do that. The counters would be clear of stuff.

Like he would clean up the dishes from dinner and wash the dishes and everything. That he would not wash the actual counters. He would not wipe them down. And so after weeks and months of me going back into the kitchen and cleaning the counters after he was done and us both communicating to each other, we were not mad about that. I just cared about it more than he did, he now does it like 80% of the time because he knows it matters to me. So kindly do it yourself while communicating why you are doing it at all.

And I think that eventually most people will come around and do what you are asking because they care about you, not about the chore itself. And I hope that helps, Kelsey. All right, it's time for the lazy genius of the week. we have Stephanie from New Rochelle, New York. Stephanie writes, I'm a freelancer and often purchase workshops, classes, et cetera, that I can never find time to watch. I buy them because I know these classes have useful information, but since I can't attend live, I figure I'll just watch the replay. But I have a whole folder in my email of unwatched videos because in the grand scheme of my workday, other things are often more pressing and important than watching an hour-long workshop.

Truth. This fall, my daughter will be taking two one-hour ballet classes a week and doing a one-hour rehearsal of Nutcracker on the weekends, which is more than she's done in the past, which means I will have more time to kill. It's too far to go back home, so I'm deciding once. These hours will be spent watching the workshops that have piled up. If it's nice, I can sit outside the studio, and if not, there's a waiting area with plenty of seats. I'm looking forward to not only watching the videos, but also relieving myself of the decision fatigue of what to do each week during these three plus hours. This is so great. I actually have an episode about this. If you are struggling with something similar, episode 322 is what to do with random pockets of time.

Because this is such a real challenge for many people. And I love this solution for you, Stephanie. You're taking something that really can only exist, honestly, in random pockets of time. And putting it there in this new season with longer rehearsals. It's such a great idea. And honestly, I kind of love how excited you are about it. Like, you sound really excited about it. and that's super fun. So thank you for sharing and congratulations on being the lazy genius of the week.

In the next podcast recap email, I will write out my golden milk recipe process. It is not hard at all. Like I said, you can also just like go deep in my Instagram feed. There's a mug of yellow, yellow, yellow, a yellow drink. You can go find it that I will write in the recap what I normally do to make my golden milk. So you can sign up for our recap email at the lazy genius collective.com. slash recap. It goes out every other Thursday. If this episode was helpful to you, share it with someone you know or leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Both are small ways to support the show, but hugely helpful to us. So thank you for your support. This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, produced by Leah Jarvis,

and executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kenzie. Thanks y'all for listening. and until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next week.