The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk - 014: Jairek Robbins – How We Can All "Learn It, Live It, Give It"

Episode Date: May 13, 2015

Episode 014: Jairek Robbins – How We Can All “Learn It, Live It, Give It” This was one of the most inspirational conversations I’ve had… Jairek has an incredible desire to serve others and it’s evident immediately when speaking with him.  This episode was packed full of great ideas and actionable takeaways to implement immediately. “My goal is to assist people in the process of rapidly achieving their goals so they are able to live the life of their dreams. My hope is that they will eventually pay-it-forward and help those that they care about the most do the same” – Jairek Robbins   Welcome to Episode 014 with Inspirational Speaker, Jairek Robbins   Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher Radio.   The Learning Leader Show “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” – John Wooden Some Questions I Ask: What do you think of people who view positive psychology with skepticism? What are the specific big moments in your life that shaped who you are? Why do people fail to execute the plan? Is 1 on 1 coaching scalable? What is the best advice you’ve ever received? What is it like growing up on the road at speaking conventions?   In This Episode, You Will Learn: The 3 stages of life and how to understand them to your benefit Why our habits can either inhibit us and help us How to work directly with Jairek How to be open to new experiences Why it’s so important to be yourself What “The Rock,” Kevin Hart, and James Altucher have in common   Continue Learning Go towww.JairekRobbins.com Follow Jairek on Twitter:https://twitter.com/JairekRobbins   You may also like these episodes:   Episode 003: The Incredibly Interesting Story Of Maurice Clarett And How He Built A 6 Figure Income After Spending 4 Years In Prison   Episode 002: How To Take Over And Set Bigger Goals With Chris Brogan   Episode 004: How Todd Wagner (and Mark Cuban) Sold Broadcast.com To Yahoo! For $5.7 Billion   Episode 010: Shane Snow – How To Accelerate Success Using Smart Cuts   Did you enjoy the podcast? This episode was absolutely jam packed with great information on a variety of topics. Jairek was incredibly inspirational.  Who do you know that needs to hear this?  Send them to The Learning Leader Show!   Episode edited by the greatJ Scott Donnell   From JairekRobbins.com Oliver Wendell Holmes once said “a mind that is stretched to a new idea never returns to its original dimensions.” As an innovator, Jairek is applying his own philosophy and living a life of adventure, philanthropy, and entrepreneurship. Whether it’s cage diving with great white sharks, hanging with silverbacks in Rwanda, white water rafting down the Nile, working as a volunteer in underdeveloped regions, or building a powerful enterprise that’s built for results, Jairek does more than talk about it, he stretches the boundaries of traditional thinking and makes it happen  

It's a very effortful moment of life, meaning you figure out the things that if you do them every day, you feel happy. You feel successful. You achieve the results you're after. You feel like you're in control of your life. Like you are doing it, whatever it is for you. Like you feel like your own in life. Are leaders born or are they made?

Our host, Ryan Hawk, believes that leaders can be made through determined, focused work on learning the art and science behind. and the makeup of other successful leaders. Now it's time to inhale knowledge and exhale success. You're listening to The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk. Welcome to The Learning Leader Show. I'm Ryan Hawk. Tonight's guest is another awesome one. It's Jerich Robbins.

Jerich has accomplished a lot in his life already at the young age of 30. He delivered a TEDx talk in New York City in 2013 titled A Simple Formula to Inspire the World to Live Their Dreams. He's also got a book out titled Live It, Achieve Success by Living with Purpose. In our talk tonight, we got into a lot of interesting topics, including the three stages in your life and how to get better at mastering those stages, both the learnings and some funny stories from his dad, Tony Robbins, and what it was like growing up on the road with him and all the seminars he attended. And then actually actionable steps you can take to apply the learnings from this podcast and other coaching that you receive. to actually help improve your life and your business. Just a lot of great, great stuff.

I know you guys are going to love it. Without further ado, it's Jerich Robbins. And here we are with Jerich Robbins. Like I said in the intro, very, very excited to have you, Jerich. Welcome. Thank you so much for having me. It's good to be here. Awesome, man.

Awesome. So I was just reading through a lot of things as I was preparing for our time together, and there's so much good information out there, things that you've done, experiences you've lived. Tell us what you have going on right now for you and what you're all about. Oh, man. We have so much awesomeness going on right now. Where to start?

Just married in September. Wow. My wife and I are passionately in love right now and we just got a puppy. So certainly loving life on that side and move to Florida. Got awesome tax break from personal income tax. So we're stoked on that side. Decorating the house, doing all that jazz, traveling the world, business side, helping people live their dreams. We're building out a second company right now, possibly buying a third.

But our first one, which is performance coaching. We're transitioning that as well from just coaching practice that I've been running for the last six years personally to now a coaching business where we're getting ready to start training a handful more coaches to coach on behalf of our company so that we can reach even more people. I figured out again that I'm just a reminder in life. I can't reach all the people I want to reach just on my own. So I'm going to have to recruit some team members and teach them. how to do what I do to get them to ripple it out there for me. And that's kind of our focus.

We have a book that came out last September, which is awesome, or October. That's doing great. We sold, I think, about 1,000 copies a month right now. Nice. We're reaching people all over the world and we're getting emails every day of how it's impacting their life from business in great ways. This wasn't going to be my next question, but it just occurred to me because I listened to you on other people's podcasts, on your own podcast.

You use the term we instead of I, as in. We, it feels to me like you, just, this is just me just guessing that you really believe in your team and it's not just about you. Am I, am I accurate in that statement? Absolutely. We get that question a lot. People are like, who's we? Yeah. Well, we is my wife and I, because we work together running everything.

And then we have a variety of team members that work in all different ways inside and outside of our companies on different projects and partners as well. And we consider them all part of our team. So we have a speaker bureau in Dubai that represents us in the Middle East and the Gulf Coast in India as well. We have a team in Tokyo that represents us speaking over there. We have teams in the U.S. that help manage our speaking and our coaching sales. And then we have reps that sell coaching for us into coaching with me. We have people that help build projects with us. We have other team members and partners as far as like our retreat we do once a year.

So we have lots of different people that work in all different parts of what we do, even though technically we only employ two of us. I was going to say, so they're all contractors, or they don't technically work for you. They're contractors. They're our partners. Okay, partners. So, yeah, I look at them and, yeah, technically it would be a 1099 contract employee form that goes out to them each year, but I consider them our partners because without them,

we wouldn't be able to do what we do. Cool. So it's just you and your wife? It is. How does that work with your, obviously, a personal relationship? You don't have to go there, but your professional relationship and working together. How does that work? We're actually studying the topic right now.

Because it is a very interesting experience. And we're studying it. Our thought is if we want to learn how to perfect something and be really, really, really diligent and powerful and good at something, we have to learn about it. And so we take time to identify couples who not only have been happily, passionately, you know, married for many years, but also work together for many years. And when we find these couples, we personally interview them.

And we have another blog we run, which is Help Me Find Love.net. And what's awesome is it reaches, you know, anywhere between 10 to 15. thousand people a month jump on there and check out our blogs and we write about what we learn from these couples and what we learn about ourselves and from our own experience of love and relationships and how to make that work. And we've learned some really interesting things that are simple, but things that when you hear them, you're like, dang, I know that. I know that. Like, why the heck then I do that? Yeah. What are some of the, some of a few of those things specifically? One of my favorites was a couple that's been, you know, they're in their 50s or I think 60s,

actually late 50s, early 60s. They've both been married once. They did get a divorce. They've then found each other online dating. When they first got together, she was a high-level executive making, you know, $300 plus $1,000 a year in her own career in corporate America. He was his own self-employed financial advisor,

so financial consultant-type business. And he was doing very well on his own. And he said, hey, why don't we work together? You know, you're diligent in what you do. You're very good. Why don't you come into my company and we'll work together and make it our company. and see how it goes.

And, you know, they listed all the things that went right and wrong for them. And one of the biggest things they ever did from the beginning, which seems so obvious. But it was something my wife and I were like, dang, we need to do that. It seems to make so much sense was, you know, identify the roles of who's in charge of what. And again, that seems so flippant obvious to most people. But for most couples, even if they don't work together, when's the last time you sat down and said, honey, let's make a list of what we're both in charge of. can count on each other to know who's in charge of what and when and where and how it'll be done.

Absolutely. Now, for most couples, they have never done that. I've met people who've been married for like 40 years who still haven't done it. It's incredible. That's a big, freaking simple little thing that if you do it, it brings peace of mind almost instantaneously. And if you don't, constantly causes people to have, you know, be on edge with each other and have, you know, these nervous feelings for each other because it's like, oh, why hasn't

he done that yet? And he's like, hey, I didn't think I was in charge of that. Yeah, and then when you add children to the mix, which I don't know if that's something you guys are going to do, I got to believe it brings a whole other dynamic to both the business relationship as well as obviously the importance of raising children. Absolutely. And I've kind of set a personal framework just how what I can see so far in life. You know, I'm 30, just married. I'm young. I get it. But as far as I can see from this vantage point in this moment in life, the perspective I can see, there's really three. main stages people go through. And I'm sure there's more, but I can't see them yet because I'm not there in life.

And from where I am, level one is kind of just figuring yourself out. Who am I? What works? What works for me? How do I make it work? How do I do it every day to successfully feel happy, fulfilled, alive, and successful and who I am and what I do? Now, not everyone figured that stage out right away.

And some people never figure that stage out. But, you know, there's kind of three levels of that or three stages of that first level. and level one, stage one, is like that hurricane tornado craziness, hailstorm of trying to figure out what in the world life is all about for you. And whether you went to university and got out and then entered the quote unquote real world or you graduated high school or, you know, sixth grade on, you just came out guns blaring. I don't know how you did it. But however you entered into the working world, when you got there, there's this moment where you try to figure out like, how in the world am I going to pay my bills, stay healthy, stay happy, be successful. you know, figure out how to live life. Like, you have no clue.

And so it's this crazy time in life when you're trying everything and you decide you want to try to figure it out, which is a big first step. Like, hey, at least I'm going to try to figure this out. So you read stuff or learn stuff or study your friends or think you're 19 years old and have it all figured out anyways. But you try something. And whatever you try, what really you're looking for is what works. And most importantly, not only what works, but what works for you.

Because you'll hear people all day long being like, here's how it works. And it's like, great, that works for you, dude. I don't know if that works for me. I have to try it. And once you try it and you figure out what works for you, the next kind of stage is level one, stage two, which is it's a very effortful moment of life, meaning you figure out the things that if you do them every day,

you feel happy. You feel successful. You achieve the results you're after. You feel like you're in control of your life. Like you are doing it, whatever it is for you. Like you feel like your own in life. But the challenge is at this moment is it's very effortful. It's very hard to fit all these things consistently in each day.

So it's like this mentally tasking activity where it's like every day you have to focus and you have to work at it. And it's very difficult. And eventually you figure out how to do it enough times that your brain starts to kick into autopilot. And there's science behind this. There was a book called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Oh, yeah. And he talks about the fact that when we try to,

something new for the first time, our brain activity is like off the charts. But after you do it 20, 30, 40, 50, 100 times, your brain activity spikes in the beginning and then literally falls and goes into like an autopilot little mode. And then at the end of the activity, when you transition, spikes again, your brain activity. So what's interesting is how you transition from level one stage two, which is effortful to level one stage three, which is effortless living. And your still feeling successful in like your own in your life. How you transition is by building in the right habits and rituals and systematizing what works for you. Now what's interesting is once you've systematized it, built in the right habits and rituals and, you know, your health, your emotions, your finances, your business, or your professional life, your spiritual life, like all those main core areas that are just about you, once you've built those in, you want to do it long enough so that literally it becomes your autopilot go-to,

to do the right things every day. So now what happens is even if you have a really bad day that totally throws you for a loop, your autopilot is to instantly push you back into the right habits that cause you to feel happy, healthy, fulfilled, alive, and successful at what it is you're doing. Now, once you're at that moment, now you choose to graduate to level two, which is level two, you add a second person to the mix. And, you know, in my study of this, and some of my mentors say when you add a second person, it's a magnification of life. So if you've mastered your life as a single person, now you're going to magnify that with another person.

The problem is a lot of people try to think, you know, I don't know what works for myself, but if I find another person, at least I'll have someone to share life with, so screw it, I'm just going to jump to level two without ever figuring out level one. Yeah. Now you're magnifying a, you know, a hailstorm tornado hurricane that you've never even figured out and you're going to magnify it. And usually you attract someone in the same position. So now you just have, you know, the category seven hurricane blowing apart your life every day, not knowing what the hell works. Yeah. And it's like, whoa, dude, like figure yourself out first, then choose to find another human being and hopefully find someone who also figured themselves out. Right.

And now when you jump up to level two, even when you've both figured each other out or, figure yourself out, you immediately have to expect that the moment you go to level two, stage one, it's going to turn right back into that crazy thunderstorm hailstorm, because even though you know what works for you, you don't know what works for you plus another person. Right. So immediately your life is like all over the place. Because when do you wake up, when you go to bed, what do you eat, when do you eat, how do you eat, who takes care of what?

When you do this, when you do that? And so you got to figure it out. And again, you not only look for what works, but what works for you guys as a couple. Yeah, I'm curious as to why do you think, I know I want you to get to level three, too, but I'm curious as to about, you know, we all know the divorce rate is incredibly high. And although we've seen that, at least from some of the science I've read about this, is that people who have waited until a little bit later in life, obviously dramatically increase their odds of not having their marriage end in divorce. Something I did. I didn't consciously do that. Just kind of the way it worked out. Sounds like you're the same way. You were, what, 30 years old. I'm curious as to why do you think people jump in and do that without to get it going through the proper levels or the stages that it takes in order to be in the right place for both people to have a great loving marriage? I think as people, we want that connection. We want that feeling of sharing life with somebody. So some people do it because they really crave that love and connection with another person.

Yeah. Some people do it because honestly, they decided to sleep around and it felt good in the moment. It was very pleasurable, but it wasn't very fulfilling. You know, pleasure and fulfillment are two different things. Pleasure in the instantaneous feeling where it feels good in the moment, but it immediately drains away. Fulfillment is something that not only feels good, but it lasts. And so a lot of people go for pleasure in the moment where they go, you know, have sex with somebody and hopefully they call it making love. But in reality, they have sex with somebody.

A child pops out and, you know, they graduate. themselves from level one, stage one, the level three, which is now with child. And they never even figured themselves out. And it was honestly just, you know, they thought a pleasurable moment would be fun and didn't realize the consequence. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that's usually, it happens for a lot of people. The other reason that happens is some people think the answer of happiness or that answer

of joy or fulfillment or, you know, that purpose in life lies within someone else. So if I can just get a relationship with them, then I'll really feel happy about my life, then I'll finally feel fulfilled, then I'll feel successful. If you haven't figured out how to feel that emotion consistently on your own by yourself, very rarely are you going to find it within somebody else? You have to find it on your own, in my opinion, and I might be wrong, but I don't think so. I've worked with enough people and seen enough life on my own and studied this long enough through my BA and psychology and growing up in a personal development. feel that you get to see this. And for most people, if you don't figure it out on your own, you're not going to find it randomly in someone else.

And so eventually, level two, stage two, it's very effortful where this is where my wife and I right now, where we know what works. And if we do these habits every day purposefully, an effortful where we do them, we have an amazing day-to-day life. Like we feel incredible. We feel happy, fulfilled. But if we're like traveling, and not sleeping a whole lot and not eating the right stuff.

And then we get home and we forget to meditate and like stuff gets out of whack, it can throw us into kind of a tailspin for a day or two. And so we're at that place where we know what to do and we have to consciously do it every day. And it's starting to like we've been meditating every single day. I think we've missed a total of maybe four days since December, maybe 26th, fifth, right around Christmas. We started meditating every day, my wife and I. And we've only missed about five days total because we were on a plane or somewhere in the world.

But we've meditated every day for 20 minutes a day. And now it's becoming a natural habit for us. And it's very close to where it's like that's our go-to. We wake up and we automatically go to wanting to meditate. And by building in those habits, it allows us to be our best selves with each other. So we're aiming for level two, stage three, which is an effortless mastery of who we are as a couple. Now eventually we are going to want to add children, which now we know the pattern. We're like, hey, at least from where we see right now, if that's the next stage, we're going to expect.

And I've coached many clients personally through this experience where the moment you have a child, at least your first one or first couple, your life gets flipped upside down. I don't care how well you've mastered yourself as a person and how well you've mastered each other as a couple. when there is a new little being that decides to wake up at 2.30 in the morning every night randomly and want you to feed it for two hours and then wakes up some poops at 6 a.m. And then cries at 1 10 in the morning and passes out and poops all over the way and throws up on you. Like when that little being of beautifulness comes into the world, whether you like it or not, your life is flipped upside down for like four months. Absolutely.

And knowing that's coming, it's like, no worries. You know, now it feels like nothing's wrong when it happens. It's like, oh, you know, to be expected. Of course that's coming. That's the natural next step. Like, let's enjoy the craziness of it and laugh about it instead of it'll get freaked out or flip out over it. Oh, absolutely. So you probably have a little roadmap, so to speak, of when you guys want to go there, I would assume.

Yeah. And it's not going to be perfect. I mean, you want to make God laugh, tell your plans. It's all going to happen backwards or when we least expect it. Oh, yeah. Knock on wood. But at the same time, we expect there's. certain things that will happen in each level. And since we know those are coming for anyone

listening in, that's our roadmap. If you want to design your own, bless you, you go for it. If you want to take ours and try it on and see if it works for you, try it. And just say, hey, you know, in these three levels, if I'm at level one, have I really mastered my own personal habits and rituals so that every day I wake up, happy, fulfilled, bliss out of my mind, and passionate about my life? And I feel successful. I feel like I own who I am as a human being. And even if I get knocked out of sync, I know exactly what to do in my daily life to get myself right back into that blissful place. And if you have level one checked off, you know, and you're in a relationship, ask yourself

about level two. Be like, have I really, have we figured this out as a couple? And no matter where you are, if you're already level three, great. But wherever you are, figure out what is your game plan to really master that level and make it almost effortless for yourself and for your partner or wherever you're at? This is really nuanced, you know, thinking. It's developed. It seems like it's been thought of and created over time.

Where did you learn this? Through experience. Really? Through pain. Through not knowing what the heck was going on and being frustrated about it. Yeah. And trying to figure it out and looking around and being like, I have no clue what's going on. I've got to figure this stuff out.

And luckily, like I said, you know, my first personal development seminar was my mom. She was doing her master NLP practitioner course with John Grinder, who was the co-founder of NLP, who happens to be my godfather. Nice. Great guy. And she was teaching people at a break through their fears by breaking bricks with their bare hands. So I always say through osmosis, I had to pick something up at that moment of life. And I literally grew up behind the scene at seminars all throughout my life, thanks to dad and his team and everyone else. And through doing these things over and over and over and over again, I've been around this way thinking of looking at life and saying what systems, what formulas, what steps or framework is happening right now? Because if I can identify the framework, I can help other people with it for what

it's worth to them. And for some people, they listen to this and they're like, eh, it means nothing to me. Who cares? I got my life figured out. I'm fine. For other people, they might have been struggling for the past 18 months of their life. And by hearing these little three levels, they go, oh my God, I get it. I now know what to do. They go do it. And, you know, a month and a half from now, they finally feel like their life is blissed out of their mind, peaceful, passionate, and happy. So that's who we're aiming for. Is anyone who needs this, we create frameworks like this for people specifically to help the ones that need it and want it so they can use it and have that happy, bliss, out, and fulfilled life.

I love it. So you mentioned to your parents, and I, you know, I too have a really great relationship with both of my parents. My dad is very, very successful in his profession. Obviously, your dad is one of the most successful guys in any profession. as we're speaking right now. But I'm curious because my dad, you know, he worked really, really hard to instill and me and my brothers that we weren't entitled just because of his success.

He really did do a great job of teaching us how to work hard, how to not settle for the easy path. Like I said, obviously your dad is very successful. He could have easily financially taken care of you if that's what he decided to do. But what did your dad teach you specifically that helped shape your success? Lots of stuff. I mean, I... That's obvious.

That's a big question to start with. Think positive, stay focus, work hard. Be a good person. Do good things. Are there any specific things that maybe might surprise us that are different from... Because we've all seen Tony Robbins on everything as books, podcasts, speeches, seminars, everything for a long time now. So I'm curious of specific things that maybe would surprise us that you learned like, you know what, that was really, really good. that maybe a lot of people don't know about.

Some big transitional moments that were meaningful to me for what they're worth of people was, I remember a moment where he shared something he had picked up, I don't know where he picked it up from, but he was teaching it in a course in Fiji, and I was attending that course and listening, and he was going over the fact that all of us at one point of our lives growing up created a framework of who we thought we needed to be

based on who we desired love, attention, or affection from the most. And it's usually not the person you got it from, but it's a person you wanted it from, the person you craved it from. And based on desiring that love, attention, affection, or approval, you decided there was a certain framework of who you had to be to get that respect or approval from them and who you could never be or you lose it from that person. And based on that framework, most people have created that framework as a teenager or a little kid. and many times they're 50, 60, 70 years old, still using the same framework from 12 for live their life. Yeah. And it's really trippy.

So I remember him going to that process and the question specifically where, you know, who did you desire love from the most, not who you got it from because you usually didn't desire it from that person. You know, my mom smothered me with love still to this day. You know, I'll get text and phone calls all day long. Like, I love you so much. You're so amazing.

Congratulations. You're incredible. Ah! And I was like, okay, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. Awesome. Thanks, Mom. Love you. And you don't desire it from them because you have an abundance of it. Now, on the flip side, there's other people in my life. Dad was one of them for me, but also my maternal grandmother on my mom's side was one as well, who in my mind, and this is what's tricky, because it's not necessarily that they told you their specific rules, but in your mind you think their specific rules. And so in my mind, I had rules that I thought of the person I thought I had to be to get dad's approval.

And in my mind, I thought there were very specific rules I needed to be in order to get grandma's approval, who I, you know, was a big source of love for me. So in knowing that, I had come up with this mental map of this person I thought I had to be, like hardworking, focus, giving, loving, caring, a good person, a nice person, an appropriate person, all this stuff. And for anyone who was listening in, I'd ask you the same questions. You know, first, who did you desire love from the most? Now who you got it from? Who did you want it from? Second, who did you think you needed to be? If you were to take a moment and jot this down, like, what kind of person did you think you needed to be?

Kind, gentle, perfect, happy, healthy, vibrant, funny, crazy, wild, strong, focused, hardworking. What kind of person did you think you needed to be? Third question, who did you think you could never be? I looked through my own life and started to discover, you know, who am I today? And the final question is, what would you have to adjust about who you are to finally just be yourself and stop being the type of person you think you're, quote, unquote, supposed to be for other people? And for myself, I got rid of appropriate because I realized that really wasn't my core. That was something I thought I had to be. I got rid of, you know, I'm a very nice person in my core.

I'm loving, I'm carrying, I'm generous naturally. But I got rid of those things because I'm like, you know, I'm naturally that way. I don't have to consciously be thinking, like, am I being nice right now? I'm going to being good right now. Am I being appropriate right now? I just crossed them all off the list. I was like, I'm those things anyways. I don't need to think about it.

And then I said, what would I have to add to this list to really be myself, though? And I was like, you know, there's a part of me that wants to be like a motorcycle ride-in badass mofo. But it doesn't feel very appropriate. Yeah. So I was like, why not? So I started taking motorcycle riding classes on the side. I'm like, this feels good. That's awesome.

Nice. Like, I like the wind in my face. This is cool. And I, you know, took some self-defense, like hand-to-hand combat classes. I'm like, this is cool, too. I feel like a man. This is awesome. And I started trying things that were not in my normal regime. And it brought me to life. And I was like, wow, like, this is me. I feel like alive right now. I don't feel like, you know, that's mold of who I thought I had to be. I feel like this really just authentic version of myself. And going back to your question, that moment when he had shared. those questions with me was a big transition for me because I stopped trying to be the person I thought I had to be to please everybody. And I started authentically, really truly just being

myself everywhere. Were you maybe deep down, I don't know, just seeking his approval? You mentioned your mom showers you with love. You didn't mention that your dad did that. Were you seeking his approval or even his love? You probably knew he loved you, but maybe didn't say it as much. I used the example, if you remember, for both. I said the two people that I desired it from the most, was dad and my maternal grandma. Yeah. So deep down I was saying, hey, there's a certain way that if I act this way and I, you know, bend and mold and twist myself into being this kind of guy, then my grandma and my dad will then give me the affection, love, and attention I want. But if I'm this other way who's just myself, I might not get it.

And that was the fear. And lots of people have that fear. And usually it's the person that they desire it from. And for me, it was him and my grandma. So when I finally let that go, it's interesting. And if you don't believe this to be true, ladies, I'll give you a funny test just to see how this works out for you. If you're dating a guy and he takes you home to see his mom, see if his personality changes when he walks in the door and starts talking to his mom, dad, or grandma or grandpa. Usually what happens is like, ladies, you're dating this badass guy who like takes control.

He knows what he wants in life. He's a leader. He's a strong man. He's a good guy. And then you go home, you walk in the door and his mom's like, hey, sweetie, do you want to stay? sandwich and like, oh yeah, mom, that'd be great. And you're like, who the heck is this little turd? Like, dude, you were a man like five minutes ago, the guy that I like that I'm attracted

to. Now you're like some little wimpy boy who's like, mom, can you please cut the crust off too? Thanks. And you're like, where did you come from? And what's funny is you're seeing the archetype of who he thinks he has to be in that space. So is the guy being authentic with his mom or being authentic with his girlfriend in that moment? That's the question.

Yeah. And so the deep question you have to ask is who is the one? one that he's craving the love from and who is the person that he's acting like to get that love appreciation or affection from. And when you can help him release that, whether it's with you as the girlfriend or with mom and dad, usually it's mom and dad because honestly, he probably craves that. It's something that he put together a long time ago. But if it happens to be with the girlfriend, you know, how do you help him release that and

just start being himself? Now, flip it over, ladies, ladies are a little quicker to the chase in this one. But ladies, you know, what would you have to transition in yourself in the same way? Use the same set of questions that we talked about earlier. And then dig in and figure it out. And it's beautiful to see people release that feeling of thinking they have to be anything other than just naturally, authentically, who they are. And when they finally release it and they just start acting like themselves, it's really actually pleasant to be around most people. But when people are acting like the person they think they need to be, it's usually just a weird feeling hanging out with them.

And if anyone has a friend like this, it's that friend who's always like positioning or kind of like acting like they think they need to be. When if you know him long enough, you're like, dude, just chill out. Like, you're cool. You don't have to be like presenting yourself all the time. Like, just fucking chill out, dude. You're a nice guy. Like, people think you're okay. But it's always that one friend who's trying to like tell you everything awesome about them all the time because they're uncertain about it.

And when they can finally release that, they can just be the. themselves and it becomes a much better relationship, much more easy to be around them. Yeah. So I'm curious about, so again, in your line of work, what do you say to people who view coaches or life coaches or positive psychology type people? There are a lot of people out there who view those types with skepticism or worse. Some of them even view them as the modern day snake oil salesmanship, so to speak. What do you say to people who have that type of outlook on life and about the

type of work that you do? Oh, they should. Really? Really? God bless them. Yeah, they really should. This is an unregulated industry right now. So there's no government agency that says, hey, there's certain prerequisites that have to be

met in this industry for people to be, quote, unquote, fully qualified and able to deliver this service to people. So because there's no regulation on it, there's everyone from network marketers calling themselves a coach. And they're really sales reps for a network marketing company, distributing whatever they distribute. There's network marketers calling themselves a coach. There's internet marketers calling themselves a coach. There's sales reps calling themselves a coach. I think the ones that kind of get under my skin are people who are training people in very specific business tactics

and tools calling themselves a coach because they're generally misleading people. And it's happening a lot right now. I've had friends being like, oh, did you hear about this guy? He's a coach and he makes like $200,000 a month. And I'm like, well, what does he coach on? And they're like, well, He coaches people how to do marketing for their coaching business. And I was like, that's not a coach. You know, generally he's, yeah, he's coaching them on how to do better, but he's really training them in very specific tools or tactics. And he's selling his systems.

He's not selling coaching. He's selling a boxed system to teach them how to improve something. He's educating them. And I was like, you've got to be able to draw these lines. So those skeptical people, God bless them, you know, because they're skeptical enough to be able to. like, whoa, that's not a coach. Let me draw the line.

Like, you're a trainer, dude. You're training people on how to increase their business. And network marketer, you're not a coach either. You know, God bless you. Yeah, you're coaching people. Thanks for that. But you're a network marketing sales representative. Let's be honest.

And those skeptical people in my mind are a godsend because they help people really look past the whole, you know, disguise of I'm a coach and get to know what they're really doing. And you need those people. So my thought is, you know, those people who are like, oh, that's BS, they cause you to rethink what's going on and really do your research to know that you're investing and getting into the right thing. That's an interesting way. I like that a lot. So I appreciate, I mean, personally, when I look someone up and I read websites and it's like scam this, that and, you know, or the person who's using their first name and last letter, I'm like, what's their full last name? Why?

Because when you Google them, you get the scam report and stuff they've done for years, excuse the language. But you see all this crap that they're trying to hide. And it's like, dude, what are you doing? Like, just be honest and real. Like, if you mess up, you mess up, who cares? Just tell people you messed up, own it, and move on. But there's so much of that junk out there that, yeah, that's why I really appreciate those people who are skeptical, because they write those articles. They show people what's really going on.

Right. It helps you. It helps you. It helps the people who are doing the right thing stand out in a positive way. And it helps weed out all the garbage and get it out of the industry. So how much one-on-one coaching are you doing? Is that still the primary basis for your business or what is? We have a bunch of different things. Okay. So first off, performance coaching one-on-one with me and individuals, that's kind of our bread and butter. That's our main business we've had for six years.

That business alone has helped us reach hundreds of clients for the past six years. I work with roughly about 15 clients at a time. I figured that out because in the beginning, my goal was to build a business and in trying to build that business. and help as many people as possible. I got up to 52 clients a month one-on-one. How do you do that? Yeah, not successfully. Felt like my head was cut off and I was running in circles all day, trying to remember who the heck my clients were. And that's a problem because I really wanted to deliver high-quality service and I had quantity, but the quality was low at that point, just to be honest with myself.

And that was a big mistake. So I had to figure out, though, how do I restructure my practice so that I could really, really be hands-on. And now I'm proud to say we track people via apps and technology where I know how much they weigh every day. I know their body fat percentage. I know how well they sleep. I know their nutrition. Like we really track people nowadays because we take pride in it.

We love tracking our clients at that level so we can really customize our service to them. But we can only do that with 15 people at a time. Otherwise, you know, my head would pop off. And so deliver that quality service, We ramp down our clients. And then now that's our main business. Still with the desire to help as many people as possible, we created a little product online that people could get for a hundred bucks and go through themselves,

just so that we can reach more people with our message. This last year, we wrote a book that was published. It's sold about, I don't know, six, seven thousand copies now worldwide. And that book allows us to reach thousands of more people with our message so that they can go through it themselves. It's, you know, I don't know, 10 bucks online or something. And then we have a blog that we're very proud of that each week we produce brand new fresh content with a brand new video, brand new content, brand new worksheet, free content on our site that we email every week via our newsletter that you can download and go through yourself and apply it to your life and business and it's free. So we're really proud of those vehicles that we use to spread that message and spread those tools out around the world. And that's that's our core business.

We also have a retreat we do once a year that we mix philanthropy, adventure, adventure. And then either personal development or this year is going to be a mastermind type. But we used to have a personal development course. We would take people through you. So you're working on your own life while exploring the world while giving back and making a difference and having a ton of fun in the process. So a couple, you know, our first one we did 25 days, 10 countries as a group. We had about 23, 24 people with us. Wow.

And we did stuff like, you know, in Nicaragua, we hiked an active volcano and then sled it down. It took an hour and 45 minutes to hike it, 45 seconds back down to the cars. like cool stuff. Yeah. And then we built a school in Guatemala. We built a house for a family in Guatemala. And then we partnered with the mayor of Manta, Ecuador. And we threw a Christmas party for the poorest 200 families in Manta and surprise them with Santa Claus and presents and food and necessities that they would need for their family.

Wow. And then all along the journey, we're focusing on, you know, what's your 20-year vision, 10-year vision, five-year vision for your life and business? Who are you going to be? What are your daily habits and rituals? Let's schedule in, you know, your time each year. week and month of the year so you know what you're doing and how you're going to get to the person and then working on your beliefs your values your rituals who you are as a human being from the inside out so it's fun we do that um and then the other legs of our business we also have you know keynote

speaking that we fly around the world and speak at different events to share our message and um trainings and all kinds of awesomeness so our newest one that'll be ready later this year is again like i said in the beginning the coach serve vacation model um because i realized in coaching if I can only reach 15 clients at a time per month, I'm not going to be able to reach all the people I want to in my lifetime. So we're going to need more help. Yeah. I was going to, as brings me my next question. So the reason why I just recently spoke with Pat Flynn, he's from smart passive income.

I'm not sure if you've heard of him. But it has a great podcast, great blog, great website. He makes a lot of money. But his big deal is he won't do one-on-one coaching, even though he's had some insane offers for him to go fly places. and do one-on-one coaches for an amount of money that is just nobody would say no, but he has. The reason he said is because, well, one, his why is his children and his wife because he wants to be there for them. But two, that's not passive income.

And he's all about making passive income, meaning you know, do something one time and then it can, you know, duplicate itself. I'm curious as to how you are, it sounds like that's what you're trying to do by this coach certification to create more passive income. As a lot of it is direct. you know, you one-on-one working with people, which means it's really, really hard to scale when it's just you or just you and your wife to, because you can only have 15 clients at a time. So what are your thoughts on scalability for your business?

Yeah, the truth is, and this is a big differentiator. I was talking to James Altucher on his podcast about it where the difference between a coaching practice and a coaching business. So many coaches call their practice a business. and it's just a misconception and it's a technicality in terms. A business is something that runs successfully whether you're there or not. A practice is obviously something that if you're not there practicing, it doesn't work. So to be honest, I've had a coaching practice for six years, and now we're getting ready to actually have a coaching business.

So that is the transition point where now it's something that regardless of if we're here or not physically, it continues to make the impact and difference it's supposed to every day. And that's a big transition point. You know, that's, again, it's a whole other level. It's saying, hey, I've mastered level one, stage one, two, and three of a coaching practice. Now I've got to figure out for scalability reasons, how in the world do I master level two, which is actually having a coaching business, which is introducing a bunch more people into our system. And without systemization, without, you know, using the Emyth revisited type thought process of systematizing the tar out of everything we do,

eventually it's going to fall apart. And then even when you have a system that works, the big point becomes how do you creatively update your systems to keep with them rolling times? I mean, it's tricky where people are expecting more and more and more for paying less and less and less nowadays. And so to roll with those times and to still be new and fresh in the market is tricky because there's apps right now where it's like, hey, for $10, bucks you can access coaching from a someone who's been doing this for five you know years on what on

whatever and it's like okay that's going to change the market yeah I'm curious what do you think that what do you think people are going to say if they say no jareg I want to work with you you know I'm willing to pay I want to work with you but you're telling me now that I have to work with a coach that you maybe you train this coach but I'm not really interested in working with that person what how are you going to respond to that well I'll still work with people I love coaching people That's a personal passion of mine. It's not something like, oh, I do it because it's a business. Like I freaking love working with people one-on-one just for the business model itself.

My best suggestion, I don't know the answer just right now, but I'm guessing will probably price me out on purpose. And it is nothing to do with being like, oh, I'm more valuable than everyone else, blah, blah, blah. It's just saying, hey, there's a lot of other things that are very important for me to be a part of and to be able to run our other companies, which we have a list of different types of businesses we want to buy eventually. And for us to be successfully running and managing and producing those results in those other businesses, I can't be spending all my time doing this. So therefore, like if you want my time or attention, the price is just going to go up to a point that it would be worth it to say, hey, I'm going to forget about these other three companies

for the day and come focus on your company or life. And that's, it just has to be, you know, the ROI has to be there. And eventually it gets to a point where it's literally not. not even the money because we have enough money coming in from other companies where it's literally like, dude, if you want my attention to get off of my life and other things that are important, like throw a number out there, though, catch my attention. Yeah. I remember, you know, that happened with my dad where he was in Fiji and he was working on something

and he has 22 companies and it's not really a money thing for him at this point in time, but it's a passion and purpose thing of why he keeps doing the personal development side. And there was a seminar in Sweden, I think it was, or Stockholm somewhere up there. and they were like, hey, we want you to come speak at this event, and it's this week. And he's like, his team got back to him and said, thank you so much for the invitation. He's busy. And they were like, no, you don't understand. Like, we need him here.

And he's like, he's busy. And they were like, okay, you know, how much? Like, there's a number. Like, what's the number that I give him there? And the robot, like, he's busy. And eventually it came back and they're like, we'll give him a million dollars to come and talk for an hour. And he was like, okay. And so, hold on one second.

They called them in Fiji, and they're like, hey, some guy just said he'd give you a million bucks to show up at their event, you know, next week and speak there. Do you want to go? And he's like, I'm busy. And they're like, it's a million dollars for a freaking hour. And he's like, yeah, it's true. Yeah, it's probably worth it. Okay. Of course.

He's like, books and flights, see if it could work out. And I was like, dude, if someone offered me a million bucks to come talk for an hour, I would stay for two. And I'm like, I'm down for that. So I'm sure there's a number that would peak someone's attention. Yeah. But it's a business strategic move. The other part that it frees me up to do is when our business is successfully coaching people, I can go find more people to help just to help them.

Now, I would never advertise that because it would kind of mess up our whole business model. Yeah. But on my own time and my own space, I could track down people ideally who by helping them, it would help a lot more people. And there's always people in leadership positions like that where if you can get through that one leader, you can not only affect them, but you might be able to affect, depending on how big their company or team or organization is,

you might be able to affect thousands of people through that one interaction. Yeah. And now personally, it gives me the space to track down those people and help those people make those strategic changes in their life for business, which now affects thousands of people at a time

just by one interaction, which is very cool. Yeah, that's awesome, man. I got a couple quick questions for you. I just want to get some, like a little bit of rapid fire, okay? Is that cool?

Go for it. All right, man. If you could have dinner with any three people, who would it be? Living or dead? Probably, my mom, well, I had to put four. I put my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my wife. Wow, okay.

I'd have dinner with my family. What if family was taken out of that question, meaning they weren't allowed at the dinner table? That's my stop. I'd leave the table and go eat with them. Good answer, okay. school. If you had a table, you're like, your family's not allowed. I'd be like, fuck you table and walk over. Sorry. I like, I get what you're saying, though. So if family was already there and you wanted to invite to be special guests, people that you would admire, whether, you know, in life that you would love their company for, you know, a nice, I mean, people bond over meals. And I think I'm with you on the family party. I agree. People that I admire at this point of my life that, that I really just look at and they put a smile on my face. Honestly, I, I probably invite the rock if he'd be up for it wow way johnson yeah it's the cool guy i dig

what he's up to i i dig his motto and hustle in life and just you know grind away and knowing where he came from where he is it's impressive kevin hart very similar to philosophy also funny yeah enjoy funny people who else what i wanted to i probably because i've already promised them and we did a handshake on it but james alticher he's a cool guy too oh nice man i listen to you on his show was great yeah he's he's a buddy now so i'm like hey if we're friends and i promised we'd go to dinner so he'd have to be there too since we promised each other that'd be a great table to be that man that's awesome dinner yeah be entertaining yeah so what's the what's the greatest piece of advice you've ever received be yourself people say it all the time i think people just go oh yeah i get it and let it

fly over their head or they don't really comprehend what it means to truly just be yourself um but that's probably the best advice that ever got my life is be yourself did somebody you just I do what you love. Does somebody specifically have to sit you down and tell you that because maybe you were not being authentic or not being yourself? No, I had to attend a seminar to listen to my dad tell it to me via tape. Honestly, that's where it's actually hit me in your head. How many have you been to? Seminars?

Yeah. I don't know. Not as a speaker. Not as a speaker. My first one was in my mom's belly. So if I started there and I grew up, they have pictures of me as a suitcase baby on the road. where they would pull out the bottom drawer, put a suitcase in it, put clothes around it, and it's before they had, like, roll away cribs for hotel rooms.

Oh, man. So they would, you know, pad a suitcase and make it look like a little crib and put me in there to sleep. So you were traveling a lot. I mean, even when you got into school age, did you still go on the road, or did you just stay in school? I would stay in school, and then in between school, like on breaks. I would fly out to seminars to hang out with dad in between. Nice, man. What an interesting life.

I got to believe you could really develop some skill on network. working, meeting people, getting outside of your comfort zone doing that. Yeah, or you could just hang out backstage eat French fries and ruin some of the props by accident. And you chose a ladder. Nice. Both were in the mix. We never know what happened. That's awesome. But I think just thinking about habits, repetition, consistency, being around that environment long enough ingrained it in the way I think. There'll be things where someone will ask me a question and I'll answer it.

And my dad would be like, yeah, I created that response 5, 25 years ago. And I was like, dad, I don't know any other response. Like, that's my only, that's my thinking process now because I've heard it for so freaking long. Yep, exactly. So it's kind of cool. So I picked up a lot of good stuff from them along the way, which is amazing. I got to believe that. But then that component of be yourself then gets into, okay, how do I decipher what's really mean?

And what's just something I've learned along the way. And that takes time where you travel the world and go. spend time in solitude and live in a village in Africa and you don't have to do that stuff, but that's what I did just to really find myself. I love it, man. I love it. And I want to be respectful of your time, Jarek. But I love your podcast called Learn It, Live It, Give It.

I love that phrase. Where does it come from? It's our core philosophy. Yeah. It's a simple philosophy and it's a passion and purpose of mind and life that I think if people spend more time learning what it takes to live their absolute ideal vision for their life, living whatever they, you know, whatever you go out and gather and learn and you live it ferociously so much so that your life becomes your message to the world. And, you know, people watch what you do more

than what you say. So your life, how you live speaks to people and inspires them in its own way. And then finally give it. Figure out what works for you and share it with other people. Pay it forward. You know, just share that message with others and allow them tap into it. And if it works for them, great if it doesn't or well, but at least pay it forward and give others the opportunity to figure out if it does work for them and figure out what does work for them so that they can follow in suit. And I think if more people were running through that philosophy and using that simple process of learning what it takes, living it ferociously, and then paying it forward, it'll make that impact that I hope my life makes on this world.

It's awesome. It's a great way to end, man. I really, really appreciate your time. Where can people go to find you? Simplest place. Go to jerkrobbins.com. Perfect. There's a free gift there if you grab it and then join our newsletter.

And each week we update with you. Awesome, awesome free new content. Awesome. We will, man. Well, again, I appreciate it, Jarek, and look forward to seeing what you do next and hopefully talking to you as well. Same here. Awesome. Thanks, man. Thank you for listening to this episode of The Learning Leader Show. I absolutely love doing this show, as I hope you can tell by the passion that I bring to it on a daily basis. If you enjoy this episode, I'd like to ask one thing of you. You could go to Ryanhawk.net. It will launch the show in iTunes. iTunes is the best way to grow the show organically.

And a couple things that you need to do once you're in iTunes. It's to subscribe to it. Just simply click on the subscribe button. To rate the show, obviously five stars are the best. And to write a review. I promise I will read every single review. I will listen to your coaching and feedback. And I will implement that into the show to make it even better.

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