The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk - 018: Sam Silverstein – Why Successful People Love Accountability

Episode Date: May 22, 2015

Episode 018: Sam Silverstein – Why Successful People Love Accountability This was an intense conversation with Sam Silverstein.  Sam is absolutely committed to instilling the desire for accountability within organizations. Accountability is about keeping commitments to people, not things.  If you have any desire to learn more about accountability and how that’s a necessary component for all learning leaders, then you will love this episode.   Sam Silverstein, CSP is founder and CEO of Sam Silverstein, Inc., an accountability think tank dedicated to helping companies create an organizational culture that prioritizes and inspires accountability. He is an international business consultant, speaker and author. His manufacturing and distribution companies have sold over $100 million in products and services and he has successfully sold one of his businesses to a Fortune 500 company. Sam served as the President of the National Speakers Association (2008-2009) and is a Certified Speaking Professional. Sam’s work with companies has transformed organizational culture and created success in all areas.   Welcome to Episode 018: Sam Silverstein – Why Successful People Love Accountability   Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher Radio.   The Learning Leader Show   “You are responsible to things… You’re accountable to people.” – Sam Silverstein   Some Questions I Ask: How do you help people learn to enjoy accountability? Why don’t most companies understand what they believe? How do you help those people? Do you have self-doubt?  How do you handle it? What books have influenced you most? How did you become one of the most read writers on LinkedIn In This Episode, You Will Learn: Sam’s 12 affirmations Sam’s goals and his vision Why Sam said, “Ryan, You’re throwing me on the couch!” The enormous responsibility of a leader 9 characteristics to being great Why leaders are accountable to serve others   “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” – John Wooden   Continue Learning Get his new book: “Non Negotiable” Go to his website:www.SamSilverstein.com See why over 212,000 people follow Sam on Twitter: @SamSilverstein   You may also like these episodes:   Episode 001: How To Become A Master Connector With Jayson Gaignard From MasterMind Talks   Episode 002: How To Take Over And Set Bigger Goals With Chris Brogan   Episode 004: How Todd Wagner (and Mark Cuban) Sold Broadcast.com To Yahoo! For $5.7 Billion   Episode 010: Shane Snow – How To Accelerate Success Using Smart Cuts   Did you enjoy the podcast? I love discussing how we can all become better writers.  Sam is definitely a fantastic learning leader who is always striving to improve.  An incredibly successful leader who influences so many…  Who do you know that needs to hear this?  Send them to The Learning Leader Show! Episode edited by the greatJ Scott Donnell   Bio From  SamSilverstein.com   Sam Silverstein, CSP is founder and CEO of Sam Silverstein, Inc., an accountability think tank dedicated to helping companies create an organizational culture that prioritizes and inspires accountability. He is an international business consultant, speaker and author. His manufacturing and distribution companies have sold over $100 million in products and services and he has successfully sold one of his businesses to a Fortune 500 company. Sam served as the President of the National Speakers Association (2008-2009) and is a Certified Speaking Professional. Sam’s work with companies has transformed organizational culture and created success in all areas.   Originally from Atlanta, he has a Business degree from the University of Georgia and an MBA from Washington University. He is married with four children and currently resides in St. Louis, MO.    

Don't tell me you believe family first and then give someone a hard time. If you believe family first, you get in the car and drive them to the airport. You ask them what you can do for them. Because your actions, as my dad always told me, actions speak louder than words. But that company does not believe family first. I don't care what's written on a piece of paper. I don't care what's on the wall in the cafeteria. I don't care what the president says at the annual meeting.

They do not believe family first because that's what their actions tell me. Are leaders born or are they made? Our host, Ryan Hawk, believes that leaders can be made through determined, focused work on learning the art and science behind the makeup of other successful leaders. Now it's time to inhale knowledge and exhale success. You're listening to The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk. Hey and welcome to The Learning Leader Show. I'm Ryan Hawk. Tonight's guest is Sam Silverstein.

Really, really impressive guy. He's the founder and CEO of Sam Silverstein, Inc. an accountability think tank dedicated to helping companies create an organizational culture that prioritizes and inspires accountability. He's an international business consultant, speaker, and author. He also served as the president of the National Speakers Association in 2008 and 2009. Really, really impressive guy. Tonight, our episode, we talk about why people should be responsible for things and accountable to people.

It's a big difference. We get into that. Also, he works to create a place where people want to be held accountable, not where they're forced or it's demanded, but people want accountability. We also get into how he deals with self-doubt. Sam's a really confident guy, sure of himself, giving speeches to thousands of people, but he has self-doubt just like everybody else.

And also his 12 affirmations, things he says in the morning as part of his morning routines. I was very, very impressed. I love Sam. become a new friend of mine. Really, really impressive guy. I know you guys are going to enjoy this one, ladies and gentlemen. It's Sam Silverstein. All right, Sam. Hey, man. How you doing?

I am great, Ryan. It's wonderful to be here with you. Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate you coming on the Learning Leaders Show with me because you are a guy who I've studied from afar, both reading what you've written, watching your videos. Obviously,

you're a phenomenal public speaker, and people already probably have seen you. do that and then listening to some of your talks as well are just incredible. So I wanted to thank you again and acknowledge the success you've had and welcome you to the show and also give you here a little bit of time to introduce yourself from your perspective, you know, things that you've done and what you're currently working on. Well, we look at our organization as an accountability think tank. And everything we do revolves around understanding accountability and being able to share that understanding with individuals and organizations so that they can build an organizational

culture that really prioritizes and inspires accountability. And so whether we're out speaking, whether we're writing books, publishing articles, being interviewed here, like with you, Ryan, It's always going to be about accountability because at the end of the day, that's the one thing that is going to separate us as individuals. It'll separate us as family units and it'll separate us as organizations because everything else is a commodity. But accountability is what we like to say is accountability is your competitive advantage. It's really what will make you stand out. and it's what will allow you to reach the potential that you are supposed to reach. So I think sometimes, I know we're talking here in the pre-interview about that word accountability,

and it's a big deal. And I like how you said it's your differentiator. I think there is a little bit of confusion around what it means to both hold a person as well as hold maybe a company or a team or a leader in this case, which I'm all about leadership. What is accountability? Can you define that for us here? Well, that's a great question. And society is confused about it.

And I travel around the world. I work with organizations on a global footprint, which, you know, it's just a really, I'm blessed to have that opportunity. It gives me exposure to a lot of different cultures and most languages that I come across. They don't even have the word accountability in the language. Really?

Wow. Yeah. Yeah, and what happens is we, and even you and I and people we know, we mistakenly confuse and misuse the word responsibility. And so we take responsibility and accountability, and we start interchanging them, and they're really two very different things. So we look at it this way, that you're responsible for things, but you're accountable to people. You're responsible for things, you're accountable to people. I'm responsible to take the trash out. I'm responsible to get that report done.

That report is not going to hold me accountable. But I'm accountable to you and you're accountable to me. And even rather than saying holding people accountable, we like to think about helping people be accountable. Because it conjures a different image and it really is a different way of thinking. When you're holding someone accountable, well, it's like you have a gun to their head. And if they don't do it, you're going to pull the trigger. And when you're helping someone be accountable, you're investing in them and you're supporting them and you're helping them. And when you do that, you create a relationship where people actually want to be accountable.

We define accountability as keeping your commitments to people. Keeping your commitments to people. You're not accountable for the garbage. You're not accountable to wash your car. You're not accountable to clean up your room. You're responsible for those things. Those are your responsibilities. Accountability is not punitive.

It's not standing up and saying, oh, it's my fault. It won't happen again. That goes towards responsibility. Accountability is keeping your commitments to people. And the one thing that I want to stress, Ryan, is that it's not just the spoken commitments, but it's the unspoken commitments. So we had this interview set up today. You set it up.

It's on my calendar. And so I know it. And so I'm accountable to you and I show up. But I don't just show up, but I show up prepared. I show up having done my research. I show up ready to go, ready to give you my all. There's some unspoken aspects to that. And in organizations, there are so many unspoken commitments

that people look past, and that's what separates companies where accountability just doesn't exist in their culture, and those organizations where their culture is all about accountability. Wow. So you spend your days going around the world, either giving speeches or specifically working with a company and probably their leadership team, I'm guessing, in fixing, correcting or building their culture. Is that accurate? That's accurate. But it's interesting because while we're brought in by the leadership team and we work closely with the CEO or, you know, overseas, it's the MD, the managing director, and their executive team, we have figured out how to take our message to the front line.

If you just train the leadership team, then you're not going to get the end result that you need. So the message has to go all the way through the company. Everyone has to be brought on board in this conversation around accountability. And that's what we do. We help them build their culture to where it prioritizes and inspires accountability. Because when people want to be accountable, they will. And when you create that type of situation, that's when the magic happens. That's when employee engagement goes crazy.

It just, that's when retention goes up. That's when, if it's a safety situation, safety goes up, productivity goes up, profitability goes up. We see it all tied to the same thing. So, Sam, this is an interesting point you brought up. So I've worked in a situation or in a company, and there are times when you mentioned that people, they want to be held accountable. They want that accountability that helps engagement go up. And there are moments when sometimes as a leader, if you're not holding the underperformers accountable, the overperformers get extremely upset with you as the leader.

They will even come to you and say, what are you doing? You know, why have you not taken action with the so-and-so that is dragging our team down? And I've personally learned that the hard way by not acting soon enough, by not doing the right thing. quick enough when you've, when, when it's been identified and you know for sure that this person is going to drag the team down, or these people are going to drag the team down? The top performers don't want those, those types of people around. They might try to help them, but if they realize, okay, this is not going to happen, then it's on you as a leader to hold them accountable and in some cases make a change.

And when you do make those changes, I've seen the top performers just explode. They are very happy. They're more engaged. They stay more loyal. All these positive things happen when you, in some cases, not to be too harsh, but get rid of people who are not carrying their weight. Well, it comes back to this. Most companies don't know what they believe. And so do you believe that we do our job and we do it with excellence?

Well, so I've never met a CEO that says, well, of course I believe that. That it doesn't say that. They all say that. I go, but you don't believe that. And they go, what do you mean? Of course I believe that. I go, well, are there people in your organizations in your organization that don't get their job done and get it done with excellence? Well, of course there are.

Well, then you don't believe that that's how you're supposed to be here. Why do those people, why are those people there? You know, see, here's the thing. When you delineate, when you specifically know what you believe as an organization, how you treat people, how you treat people that work together, your relationships, the relationships you have with your customers, the relationships you have with your suppliers, the relationships with your community, when all of this is really well thought out and these beliefs are understood by everyone in the organization, then if that is what you believe, if that is a value of your organization, Why would you let someone exist in your organization that isn't operating to that belief, to that value? Yeah. And so that's what you're describing. And so what happens is people see those symptoms, and they don't understand what the cause of the problem is.

We know what the cause of the problem is. The cause of the problem is one of two things. Either leadership has not taken the time to fully define what it is that they believe as an organization, or, well, it's actually three things. Number two, they haven't communicated it to everyone. And then number three, you know, they're not living it. So if you say that, hey, we deliver exceptional customer service and you've got somebody that's always crabbing your customers and you've talked to them, then why do they exist in your place of business? You need to allow them to go someplace where that kind of behavior is acceptable. So what are the, without naming like specific companies,

but what are the, so what's your process? I'm really, I'm really interested in the process of how somebody goes, you know, somebody like you and your company, you guys, you go in, and you take a company that's not doing a very good job at holding people accountable at defining what they're all about. And then I don't know the time frame. So I'm curious to learn from you. And then a certain time frame later, you guys have worked and implemented your plan.

and they are then able to do it without you there, you know, once you've left. What's that process like? How does that work? Well, you know, we don't talk about holding people accountable. That's the problem. When you start talking about holding people accountable, you're back into that punitive mindset. You're back into carrying a gun or a hammer. And it's all about creating a place that people want to be. It's about creating a place where people want to be accountable. It's about someone saying, you know, I would rather dive than let Ryan down.

There's no way I'm going to let him down. And that's where we take our clients. And really what we do is we start with an analysis. We go in and we do an overall analysis. We have an assessment tool where we assess the current situation in the organization. We look at all the people in the organization. We want to know what they're thinking. And then that gives us, you know, that gives us the baseline to measure against.

But then the first thing we're going to ask is, does this organization, know what they believe. Are their values clearly defined? Are they communicated? And do they need to be adjusted? Do they not? We just, we took on a client 12 months ago that they had a set of values, but they weren't, there was two problems. One, they needed to be reevaluated. There were a couple of things that needed to be cleaned up. And two, they weren't doing anything with them. They weren't teaching their people what the values were. They weren't making decisions based on the values. the values weren't being lived. And so when you're not living a value, when your actions are contrary to what you say you believe,

then I say you don't believe it. And there's no one that can win that argument with me, that they do believe it. If you're not doing it, you don't believe it. And so we start there, and we start with a process where it's important that we educate people to what accountability is. We educate what type of relationships need to be in place inside the organization, Because here's what we've discovered. What we've discovered is this, is that when you create a culture where accountability is prioritized, where accountability flourishes, then what happens is you have a more creative workspace.

People are naturally more creative, providing suggestions. Really, it's just incredible how creativity flourishes. We find that communication improves. The number one problem we see in organizations today is siloed communication. communication, people holding on to communication, people not communication, communicating with each other, one department, not knowing what the other department's doing. And we see that those barriers break down because, you know what, if I want to be accountable to you, Ryan, then I've got to communicate with you. I'm going to have to talk to you. I'm going to have to get information and I'm going to have to share information. And all of a sudden, what happens is communication goes crazy.

We see organizations where accountability is really at the heart of their culture. We see that they're open to change, where they're willing to change. We have clients call us all the time where they say, we struggle with change. We can't get our people to change. Well, I know why they can't change. They go, well, we're starting this five-step system to implement change in the organization, and that's all nonsense. I mean, there's people out there that think that's good stuff, but the reason that they're not open to change is going to be tied directly back to accountability, and we can

show that. When accountability is strong in the workplace, then what happens is that you have an engaging culture. You have a culture that people want to be a part of. I mean, there's some huge benefits from taking those steps to building a culture where people want to be accountable. Not that they have to be. Not that they feel like there's pressure on them. But it's what they want. And think about, I don't know if you have children, right? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah, we have girls. Okay. And I'm sure they take after their mother and they're beautiful, right? Yes. Good answer. Yeah, so here's the thing. When children want to do something, do they do it?

Yeah. What about when you want them to do it? And you tell them they have to do it and you have to do this. Do you get resistance or pushback sometimes? Yes. Absolutely. And I'm not, I'm not comparing people on our teams in the workplace like their children. I'm just saying that's something that's inherent in all of us.

And that when we want to do something, we're all in. And when we don't want to do something, we don't do it or we do it reluctantly or begrudgingly. And so the goal is not to force accountability. The goal is to be accountable to our people and to do those things necessary to create an environment where people want to be accountable. And that's a magical place to work. So have you got called up by a company that's high performing and doing well and they want to go to the next level? And you go in and you've kind of studied it. You've done your analysis and you say, you know what?

You guys are doing a great job. I'm not sure there's much more we can do for you here. You know, basically keep doing it. Here's a few minor things, but I don't know if we can come in and revamp. How does that process work? Well, I believe in continuous improvement. And I don't care how good I get at something. I believe that if I work at it, I can get better.

I mean, you know, you played football. You played quarterback. You went out and you would have a day where, man, And your timing was perfect. Your passes were you were leading the receivers just right. Everything was great. Did you think that was it? Did you think that you couldn't get better?

Was that it? No. The whole basis for this show is on great leaders becoming better by learning from the journeys of others, you know? Exactly. Now, we don't go into an organization and sell them something that they don't need. We have clients that are doing marvelous things. Quite honestly, the companies that we work for almost always, are already doing good things.

The companies that we almost never work for are the ones that need us the most. And the reason we don't work for them is because the fact that they need us the most is they don't get it. And they don't realize what they need to do to invest in their people and in the organization. And they have some habits that are getting in the way.

And they're not ready for us. or anyone else for that matter. Now, that doesn't mean that they aren't making money. I've got an organization right now that has 23 people in it, and we're working with them on a year-long relationship, and it's amazing the changes in this organization. We had another client, a multi-billion dollar petrochemical company, thousands of employees.

We're in a room with 24 leaders from one of the vertical sections from this company, And we're talking about values. Now, I know they have four values because they have them on their value statement, which we researched. Now, I will tell you, I had to read that thing three times, and I spent 25 minutes thinking about it before I could figure out what it meant. It was that difficult. But they had four values. And I asked them, who in this room knows these four values? Not one of their leaders knew what they were.

Not one. Wow. Now, then we showed them a chart about a company that we did a case study on and showed how their financial performance, even in 2008 and 2010, when people were going down, they were going up. And so the comments we get from some of the leaders are, well, we outperform our competitor. Yeah. So their minds were not open to this. They were, it's not that they weren't making money. It's not that they weren't profitable.

But they also, we discovered, the preponderance of their employees would not recommend working there to their family and friends. Yeah, that's powerful. So here's a situation where they need us. They need what we can bring them. But they're not receptive to it. They don't get it. And that's okay. You know, it's like the old expression that when they're,

The students ready, the teacher will appear. And so, you know, but to the angle that you had, we do have some clients where we can't do what we normally do because they're so far down the line. And in that case, if we can support them and help them grow, then we're going to suggest something that will support them and help them grow. But, you know, we would never engage a client that we didn't feel like we could move the stakes or the yard markers, if you will, a little bit further down the field, we can't in good faith engage somebody like that. Yeah, that makes sense. So I have a question in regards to execution,

implementation. So let's say you've got your leadership team is listening to you, give your talk, your speech, your hour, or whatever it may be. And I know the training is ongoing. It's not just one time, but I'm talking about a situation where maybe they go to a seminar and they see numerous speakers and you're one of them. And I think as a whole, I think people, are generally pretty good at doing this. We like to go out and try to learn and listen to people and write take, take copious notes and be prepared. My question is, why though do so many people they grasp the ideas that you articulate intelligently, but then they fail to implement them or execute on those in a meaningful way? Yeah, that's a great question. You know, it's like

the gap between what we don't know and what we do know is not near as great as the gap between what we know and what we do. And, God, I hate to say that's human nature. You know, it's like you go to the annual conference, you take your notes, you put them in the black canvas bag, you come back to your office, and you set that black canvas bag on the floor next to the green canvas bag from last year's meeting, which is leaning up against the yellow canvas bag from the year before, which is nestled nicely against the red canvas bag from the year before, which is being propped up by the white canvas bag from the year before that.

I think sometimes that in an audience, I don't care who the speaker is, in an audience, some people are in a place where they need that message. They need it now. And they're ready to act on it because of circumstances, and you're there for them. And maybe you're not there for everybody. And not that it's not a good message, not that everyone doesn't take notes. But Mary and Tom, they need that today, and they go off and they act on it. Then again, the other side of it is I know people who are highly successful because when they see a good idea, they take action.

And they implement it. And they might even perfect it. And they do very well with it. And other people, they hear a great idea, but they don't take action. And I think that's something that all of us need to stop and think about. You know, are we complacent? Are we allowing rationalization and justification to keep us in our place? Are we making excuses?

And, you know, my last book was titled No More Excuses. Are we making excuses in allowing those to keep us from moving forward? You know, one of the things that we teach actually in our new book, Non-negotiable, which is all about building a culture that drives us. accountability. We teach that you need to focus on what you can control rather than what you can't control. When you focus on what you can't control, you get excuses. When you focus on what you can control, you get results. And so when someone's sitting in that seminar, whether it's me or anyone else, and they hear a great idea, then the question we should be asking ourselves is so

with regards to this subject area that I need help in, what can I control? And when you start thinking about what you can control, then you start making decisions. And when you start making decisions, then you start taking action and things happen. And so if you're focused on what you can't control, then you sit and you wallow and you're stagnant. When you focus on what you can control, then you're making decisions, you're taking action, and you're moving forward. And so we need to be constantly asking that question in any situation. What can I control? If you're listening to a speaker. Is this material important? What can I control? Well, I can start doing this. Well, then go do it. Yeah. Let me take a step back, Sam. So this just occurred in my head. I have like, you know,

50 questions here. I wanted to ask you, but this isn't even, this wasn't even one of them. When I listen to you speak, I get a sense of almost comfort. I feel a lot of confidence in your voice. I feel you're very sure of yourself. And that's awesome. I mean, that's great. But I, you know, I like to ask a question in regards to negative self-talk or doubt. And I'm talking about Sam looking at himself, you and what's inside of you. Do you have moments of self-doubt or negative self-talk?

Because it doesn't appear so from what I'm listening to, but I'd like to dig in a little bit there. You know, that's a great question. So you're throwing me on the couch now. Is that it? That's exactly what I'm doing. All right. You know, one of the most powerful moments in my life was in a program that I gave and had a little exercise that they worked in groups of two and then came back and reported out. And I'll never forget. This room actually was all women and they were in the financial services industry.

and there were two women that were toward the back just to the right of center. I can see the room. I can see where they were. And she stood up and said, and I asked, what did you discover in the process? And she says, I discovered that we have the same fears. And it was very powerful because we think we're alone and we think that what we have to deal with is unique. You know what? We all have challenges. We all have opportunities. We all have strengths. We all have weaknesses. We all have moments of self-doubt. We all have moments of confidence. And I think that recognizing that is really powerful. Now, if I'm getting ready to go on stage sometimes for a program, don't think that I'm not nervous. I get nervous when I leave town. I getting out of town for me is the hardest thing. Going to the airport, sometimes, a lot of times,

Renee, my wife will drive with me to the airport just because I want that quiet time. And I hate getting out of the car. And I get anxious and anxiety even. And, you know, I learned to push through it because I know that, A, she's going to be waiting for me to pick me back up and B, that where I'm going, I'm delivering a message that hopefully can make a real significant difference for him. So I face it, and I move forward. We all have moments of self-doubt. We all have times where we can look back. But I think that goes back to what I was just talking about. What can you control? When you look at what you can't control, that's when that self-doubt comes in. When you look at what you can't control, then you're making decisions and moving forward. And so there's nothing wrong with

sometimes saying, you know, I just don't know if I can do this. That happens. But if you stay there, well, you'll never get anything done. You've got to say, wait a second, I've been uniquely prepared for this. This is what I've been called to do. This is what I've been training for, or this is what I need to train for. And then what can I control and how do I move it forward? And then go do it. Do you operate out of a sense of obligation to anyone or anything? Define obligation.

You know, I don't know. A family, an idea, an internal voice, a goal, a picture of success, anything like that? Well, I mean, to me, you know, I follow the word of God in my life. That's important to me. That drives me. That's my foundation, my base. That's my belief system. If I didn't have a foundation, I wouldn't know how to decide what's right and what's wrong.

You know, family is family first in my life. I always put family before other obligations. I won't take speeches if it's going to conflict with something that I want to be at. That's a family event. I've made mistakes. There's a story in no more excuses. I had a charter of plane because I accidentally booked a speech the morning after my daughter's high school graduation. There's no way I was – I could have said, look, Jackie, you know, I messed up.

I got to fly out tonight. I'm going to miss graduation. But that's just not going to happen because of what I believe. You've got – you have to know what you believe if you're going to make decisions, if you're going to operate, if you're going to operate, if you're going to. to move forward in this world. You have to have clarity around what it is that you believe. And then go live it, too, not to say it. Well, if you're not living it, I've already said this, you don't believe it. Yeah, I can't believe it. Exactly right. It doesn't do us any good to say something on Friday night, Saturday morning or

Sunday morning, and then act totally different on Monday morning. And so, and that's a problem. It's that we say that we believe this set of things, but then yet we're acting totally different on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, well, then you don't believe it. You don't believe it. And so now here, don't tell me you believe it if you don't believe it. Just don't tell me. Because if you're

telling me you believe it when your actions say otherwise, then I know you're a liar. And if that's the case, then I've got no respect for you. Yeah, just go do it, right? Yeah, and that's the same way in a company. When we're working with companies and they say, oh, family first. Well, you know, I went to a funeral a couple of days ago, And it was a real tragic situation.

One of my daughter's best friends, her brother committed suicide. And so this girl is trying to get off work to come in for her brother's funeral. And they gave her a hard time. And don't tell me you believe family first and then give someone a hard time. If you believe family first, you get in the car and drive them to the airport. You ask them what you can do for them. Because your actions, as my dad always told me, actions speak louder than words. But that company does not believe family first.

I don't care what's written on a piece of paper. I don't care what's on the wall in the cafeteria. I don't care what the president says at the annual meeting. They do not believe family first because that's what their actions tell me. Exactly. Are you big on goal setting? I do set goals. I struggle with goals because I think sometimes goals are established with numbers and numbers are

arbitrary, and then they can limit us. I do believe you have to have a vision of where you want to go, and so I do set goals. I'm just real careful about painting that picture and how I determine where it is I want to end up, because sometimes, well, I don't believe that I control everything that happens. I can only control my choices with regards to what happens around me, and so I try to factor that in. And that's not to give excuses for not getting to a certain level of performance or something. But the reality is, you know, I could pick a number and put it out there. But like I said, sometimes numbers hold you back. So what's an example of that vision, you know, of one of your visions, you don't have to get into all of them. But I'm curious about not necessarily number driven,

but something you would put down on paper to say this is a goal of mine, a vision of mine. Well, you know, one of my goals early on was to have a family where it was a close-knit family. And we looked after each other and we took care of each other and that my kids cared for each other and vice versa with us. And so we work really hard at that. That goal was not a number-based goal. My goal, I want to have an incredible relationship with my wife where I support and respect her and help her achieve in her life what she wants to achieve. It's not a numbers-based goal, but I know exactly where it is that I want to be.

I can see it. And so I strive for that. And it's something that I think about, I pray on, I meditate on, you know, every morning. And so I'm always driving for that. Now, you know, in the business, it's easy to say, well, you know, we did X dollars last year, so we want to do X plus this year. And that's okay. You just have to be careful around that.

That's all. Yeah, I think when it comes to goals that don't have a number tied to them, it's so important to make the conscious decision to take action every single day. So if your goal has something to do with building a close-knit family or having that great relationship with your wife. For me personally, and let me know if this is how you view it, I need to literally write down something every day how I'm doing against that vision. And I do.

And that's something that has helped, specifically if you're going to talk about your relationship with your wife, and that's one of mine as well, what was my intentional actions? What did I do today that is furthering me along in that relationship to ensure I'm getting better? And I'm going to write that down, right? And not every day is perfect. And sometimes you don't accomplish that task or the goals that you set. But I found that when I write every morning and write every night, I can say, am I furthering that relationship, which is the most important thing in my life?

And it is. Exactly. And so I think it's one thing to say, oh, yeah, we want to be, you know, we want to be great. but I would say what specifically, and I'm not talking to you, Sam, I'm just talking in general, what specifically are you, the listener, whoever, doing to accomplish that goal? What day-to-day actions? I'm serious. Every single day, things are you doing that are going to help progress that so that you have

that vision? Because you and I both know, if you're not intentional with that, it will erode. It will get worse. because I am a believer that things either improve or they weaken. They get better or they get worse every day. That goes with playing football, lifting weights, your diet, and certainly your relationships with the most important people in your life. So if you aren't intentional in those actions, you're going to struggle.

And people have certain ways that they remain intentional. For me, it's writing it down and holding myself accountable to myself, really. Well, that's where it starts, and that's based on knowing what you believe. Now, what I do is I have a list of 12 affirmations that I like to get up in the morning and I like to read them. And, you know, I'm not going to say that I do it every morning. But I will tell you that when I start with that, I've created something. I have 12 affirmations. Then I have nine characteristics that I'm working on that I have and their definitions and that I think about.

I have my mission, my vision, my purpose, and I have my organization, because my organization and myself are tied closely together, I have what we call our non-negotiables, our beliefs, our values, and I read those. And you know what? When you read over something, you know, one of my affirmations is, I'll share this with you, is every day I look for a way to improve. Now, when you read that, you've got to stop and think about that. And if you do it in the morning, not at night, but if you do it in the morning, that's how you're starting your day. You know, another one of my affirmations is Renee is the most amazing person I know. I will constantly honor her, recognize her talents, and encourage her. It's important for Renee to know she is wonderful and that she is loved.

That's my wife. Well, when I take the time to think on that and to pray on it, then when we're going to, what happens is I'm going to be coming up with ways to do that. That's going to enter into my life that day. Yeah. And then I'm going to take some sort of action or take some sort of steps that's going to, you don't move me further down that line. Help me be the person that I'm constantly trying to be. Reading the affirmations, characteristics, that is awesome, Sam. That's a direct takeaway, I think, for me and for anyone listening to, we could put into action. right now. For me, it'll be a combination of writing and reading those. I read some type of

leadership-inspired book along with writing, and I wake up pretty early to do this before a workout. And that's just my morning routine. That helps me. And it's a little bit of writing. It's drinking a big glass of water. And it's reading. And I like the thought now of adding to it saying your affirmation. So thank you for sharing that, Sam. So Sam, this is really flown by, but I do have one more question for you that I'd love for you to answer. And it's in relation to my show, this show, the listener's show, really. And that is, what is your definition of a learning leader? You know, and I work with organizations, I prescribe to, I believe, I know that the accountable leader is the highest form of leadership. This is what we teach. And when you talk about

about a learning leader, you know, I think that ties to being accountable, being accountable to people. It means several things. It means one, you have to learn about the people that you're going to serve. And I say serve because that's what leadership is. Leadership is not about you. Leadership is about the people that you serve and lead. It's about helping them be successful, and you can't help them be successful unless you know them and know about them and know what their fears are and what their joys are and what their strengths and weaknesses are. And so when I think of learning leader, I think of that. And then the other side of it is I think that we as leaders, if you're a leader and if you've accepted the enormous responsibility of being a leader,

not just something that's a title, but if you accept that responsibility, well, we have to constantly grow. We have to get better. We have to find ways to be able to deliver more value to those people that we're serving and leading. And so it's looking for ways that we can grow. That to me is what goes towards being a learning leader. Thank you, Sam. That is really, really powerful. And I love the energy, your preparation for our talk today.

I very much appreciate that, especially with everything else you have going on. So where can your fans and people listening that are getting to know you today, where can they go to find you? Well, several places. You can come to our website, which is samsilverstein.com, be accountable.com, the books, no more excuses, making accountable decisions, and the new one, non-negotiable, which is just, we're so excited with that. It's an amazing story.

Well, they're available on our website, but you can go to Amazon.com and order those books very easily. Perfect. I'll make sure those are noted in the show notes. too on my website, learningleadershow.com. So Sam, thank you again for being with us here and sharing so much knowledge and really a short period of time. It was a jam-packed episode. So I really, really appreciate it.

Hey, Ryan. It's been my pleasure, honor, privilege. And anytime you want me to come back and share and talk with you and to your listeners, just let me know. I promise we're going to do that, man. So I appreciate the offer. All right, Sam. Thanks, man.

Okay. All right. This episode of The Learning Leader Show is over, but we have plenty more to keep you locked in until next time. Head over to Learning Leadershow.com for more information and to request your favorite entrepreneur, CEO, world-class athlete, or anyone else that inspires you. You can also talk to Ryan directly by reaching out to him on Twitter at Ryan Hawk 12. Thanks again, and we'll see you next time on The Learning Leader Show.