The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk - 161: Hank Fortener - "The 5 Chapters Of Your Life"

Starting point is 00:00:00 What are the five chapters that you want in your life, whether that's falling in love, having children, making your millions, selling your company, whatever those chapters are, write them down, title them, and then write them down in great detail. Because what your brain will do when you're doing that is it will pull all of these intuitive unconscious things you didn't even know you were you wanted or that you were aware of, and it will put them on paper. And once it's on paper, now it's a visualization for your brain. and the way our brains work are really interesting. Your brain cannot distinguish between something it experiences and something you vividly imagine. Are leaders born or are they made? Our host, Ryan Hawk, believes that leaders can be made

Starting point is 00:00:41 through determined, focused work on learning the art and science behind the makeup of other successful leaders. Now it's time to inhale knowledge and exhale success. You're listening to The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk. Hey, and welcome to The Learning Leader Show. I am Ryan Hawk. Thank you so much for being here. I absolutely loved this conversation with our featured leader Hank Fortner. He's the founder of Adopt Together.org, the world's first crowdfunding site for adoption costs. And the first three years of their existence, Adopt Together has helped 1,400 families raise over $6 million to cover adoption expenses. He's also the founder of World Adoption Day. It's a day in November designated to $6 million dollars to cover adoption expenses. He's also the founder of World Adoption Day. It's a day in November, to celebrate adoption around the world. And currently, he's on tour with Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas.

Starting point is 00:01:47 It's incredible. View of the topics we got into. Writing your life story, why you should write the five chapters that you want to have happen in the future. And then his three unique keys to being a great leader, followed up by the incredible story behind creating world adoption day.

Starting point is 00:02:06 You're gonna love this one with Hank Fortner. All right, Hank, so excited, man, to have you here on a Learning Leader Show. You have been, as I mentioned to you prior to recording, a guest that many people have requested to come here on the Learning Leader Show. So welcome to the show, man. Thank you, Ryan. I'm honored. I can't believe I have, I can't believe I've been requested. I've got to get my mom to start calling more podcasts.

Starting point is 00:02:38 No, it's been great, man. And so I'm glad we're giving the fans what they want, but it's because of you, your story, and the impact you've had in the world. So I have a question from a, I like to understand people who have sustained excellence, not just had a brief moment of success, but they've been able to sustain it. And that's something that you obviously have done. And you've spent time around others who have done that as well. I'm curious from your perspective. What are some of the common themes or characteristics of people that you felt have sustained excellence all seem to share? That's a great question. I think for me, maybe even for my personal life, but I think I would be a lot like you, Ryan, and that I, when I find a person or spot a person who lives an excellent life or does something extraordinary,

Starting point is 00:03:26 I just drink in everything about their life. If I can find things about them, whether that be an athlete or whether that be a CEO or just somebody that I go, this person has really healthy relationships. I will interview that person, whether it's over coffee or formally on a podcast, whatever. And part of what I've observed not only for my own life, but also for my own personal journey, is the ability for people to actually sustain their consistency in relationships. And so what I mean is that a person that is able to actually stay focused in a relationship to deliver and whatever it is that they promised or more than they promised for a person to stay consistent with their career and what they're doing,

Starting point is 00:04:11 And for me personally, my struggle is actually, my struggle is inconsistency. I get really pumped and fired up about a project. I get pumped and fired up about a new person. I get excited about a new thing. And I'm really, really engaged at that level. And then as my attention and enthusiasm fades, I struggle with consistency. And anything in my life that's had any staying power has done well, whether it's my podcast or whether it's other things I'm sure we'll talk about.

Starting point is 00:04:38 it's because I've forced myself to have the discipline of consistency that I don't just let my life become just a makeup of things that I'm enthused about in the moment, but that I've actually stuck with and said, okay, this is something that I want to stick with, that I want to make sure it's there. And I stopped doing it because I felt like it and I started doing like it because I knew it was important. I think that's something that's very common that a lot of people struggle with. Is there a system, maybe a tool or a process you put in, place to help you become more consistent on what's most important? Yeah, I think it starts actually in the beginning. When I have, I have a thousand ideas.

Starting point is 00:05:15 Like, I mean, I punch them out. I crank them out on my Evernote all the time, free plug for Evernote. I do the same thing. It's so weird. I put out tons of ideas. Like, I'm going to create this and I'm going to create this. And wouldn't it be amazing to create this platform? And as I lay it all out, I let an idea sit with me well past that first initial endorphin

Starting point is 00:05:37 release of you have. have an idea it could work and make money. Once that sits on my head, I let that rest until I have another one. And then I don't activate the idea I'm on until I have another one. So that if I go back to it, even with one shiny, fresh toy under the tree, I still want to open that one, then I move forward one more step. But what I know about myself now is that I'll bail. I know that I'm going to get and I'm going to be unenthused and I'm going to want someone else to run with this

Starting point is 00:06:05 or I'm going to try to sell it or give it away or let it crash. So I have to project myself into the future and go, is this something I'm going to want to keep doing every single day? And if it is, then what can I design around the things that I won't get weary of doing every day? Does that make sense? So it's starting with the end in mind, I think, has been really, really helpful for me. And it made me think about two guys, James Altasurer and Adam Grant. They've talked a lot about ideas.

Starting point is 00:06:33 James has a practice of writing down 10 new ideas every single day, no matter what, it's one of the first things he does when he wakes up. And Adam Grant says that the people who have the best ideas don't necessarily are smarter than anybody else or more creative. They just consistently write down more ideas. And they try more things. And so at the end of the day, it almost becomes a numbers game when it comes to who's coming up with the best and brightest ideas.

Starting point is 00:07:02 No, it's totally true. I love what James even describes about his 15 minutes of ideas around a certain topic. And I'll do that sometimes when I get stuck or when I'm even focused. And part of what I'll do is figure out how do I get myself out of the stuff I don't want to do about this? Because I'm aware. And if you meet with people who, especially anyone in the financial sector, anyone in the business sector, even people in the public sector, but maybe a little bit less, consistency is the only thing that is actually emerged for them of how they're, they have a longevity of a career.

Starting point is 00:07:35 So if you look at an athlete like Kobe Bryant or an athlete like LeBron James or even an athlete like Cam Newton, what he faced in his last game, the question isn't can Cam Newton win a, a Super Bowl, can he get to a Super Bowl? The question isn't that. The question really at this stage is we see so many people

Starting point is 00:07:52 rise and fall, rise and fall, the question is this guy going to be around eight or nine Super Bowls from now? Is he going to Peyton Manning himself? Does that make sense in terms of the quality in terms of the excellence? And I think that all boils down to consistency, not necessarily flair or personality or not to say anything bad about Cam. I think Cam's getting the crap beat out of him right now.

Starting point is 00:08:12 And the question is, is he going to develop that kind of Peyton Manning-esque character that lasts a whole career? Or is he just going to be sort of a TMZ type football player that can create a lot of headlines, Colin Kaepernick style? But it's like really the question we're all going to ask is, are you going to consistently be a part of the game? or are you going to be that guy everyone forgets, you're an Ohio football player so you'll remember Maurice Claret to me is a cautionary tale. It's a guy who had all of the talent in the world.

Starting point is 00:08:44 I remember reading about him in high school. I remember watching him in college. And then to sort of watch him fade away without that consistency of character, I think is a really, really tragic story. It really is. Great examples. I appreciate you sharing.

Starting point is 00:08:59 Hank, when you meet somebody new for the first time and they don't know who you are and they say oh hey Hank nice to me you what do you do how do you respond i ask them questions really yeah because i don't have i don't have you know i figure that people actually have one word for everybody right yep so everyone who knows me they know me for one different thing and right now for where i'm in my life i'm in a big transition right now i've got about seven things going probably four main things and i would uh people have one word for it. So some people will describe me as like, oh, Hank, yeah, he's writing a book or another person would go, Hank does a podcast. Another person goes, Hank runs a nonprofit. Hank started a national

Starting point is 00:09:39 day. Like, everyone will have those words for it. So I prefer to ask questions. I try not to commit to any single word. I let that emerge out of what I'm doing that can actually serve that person. So, yeah, go ahead. So I just get, I get exhausted by people who they want to like give you their resume when you first meet them. Yeah. And for me, I, the only thing, that I'm doing that matters to you will be what can serve you. So I'm going to offer that and offer my services of whatever that is that I'm doing in a way that serves you. So it serves the conversation doesn't feel like I hijacked the conversation for my self-discovery of what am I doing right now. What are you most excited about right now? You know, I'm probably most excited about

Starting point is 00:10:26 building sort of a what what I would describe as a one of a kind platform if that makes sense and I say that like not in the douchey like geez I want a platform I hope people follow me kind of thing I mean that in like a I have a really hard time finding a career that I can emulate I did that for a long time multiple times actually where I was like I want that guy's career and I followed him followed him and then there's this whiplash of realizing I don't want to be like that guy at all I don't want to be like that guy at all. I don't want his career at all. And you just kind of take a deep breath and you're just like, I don't want that guy's life.

Starting point is 00:11:01 Like, I don't want any of that. So I have a hard time finding a person that there's a career that kind of encompasses all the passions that I have and the skills that I have. So for me, what I'm passionate about is going, you can really create the life you want in America. And I say this like realizing how entitled I am as like as a white straight male in America. I'm not going to have an easier life, right? So if I'm complaining about what I'm in, what's going on in my life, then there's something wrong with me. So I just am embracing that power and figuring out how I can create the life that I want

Starting point is 00:11:34 that serves the most amount of people. So my multifacets are I am working on a book contract. I actually have a call right after this with my publisher and they're extraordinary. And I'm working on a book because I really want to be a writer. I've wanted to be, I wanted to write books since I was a little kid that helped people. I'll get into fiction later. but mostly that. I run a podcast called Typically Hazardous that for me is a podcast designed to help people who want to live a better life. And I love that. We do live events. I do recordings, interviews, all sorts of stuff. That's been really exciting.

Starting point is 00:12:07 So author, podcast is fine. And then I also have a nonprofit crowdfunding platform that helps families fund adoptions. And we launched it as a side project with my father and I. And it's done about $9.2 million in four years for about $22. 200 families. So that's become kind of a behemoth all its own. And emerged really organically out of that was we launched World Adoption Day. And out of World Adoption Day came a chance for people to participate through social media. And we have gotten a lot of attention through that, which has been really cool. And then where I am right now, I'm actually on tour right now with Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas. So I host a pre-show that they put together around removing the stigma and the judgments around mental health and personal development.

Starting point is 00:12:52 So if you can imagine all those things I just described are a part of, all of those things are a part of every day of my life. I am passionate about the fact that for a while it was in my head, like, man, I really got to choose. I really got to choose. But I really think if I can stay consistent and I can stay faithful with each one of them, I can actually create a platform for my life and I can actually create the life that I haven't seen anyone else create yet.

Starting point is 00:13:17 So I'm hoping that the next 10, 15 years is different than the last 20 and that, the people have like a bandwidth for understanding that people multi-track their life. How did you, I know it was interesting when we were emailing back and forth that you, you started the tour with Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas. How did that come about? It actually came about from, and I have this firm belief that when you are open-handed and when you are constantly open in conversation about where you are and what you to do and where you're going, whether that's the law specificity or law of attraction or

Starting point is 00:13:57 however people would describe those things, I just, I have a firm believer that the Hebrews have a word where they call Besheert. And Besheert essentially means like it was something that was just meant to be. It was destiny. It was all those things. And for me, I've always lived with that in my question going, where am I going to meet when I meet a person? I just wonder if there's a reason for this.

Starting point is 00:14:15 And I met Demi Lobato's coach who helped her get clean and sober four and a half years ago. His name is Mike Bayer. He founded an organization called Cast Centers, and Demi went through their program and kept her clean and sober. And then it just was actually announced yesterday that Demi is one of the financial partners, went in Cast and brought Cast on tour with her to give about 300 fans every stop an experience of how to live their best life. And she's there, and Nick Jonas is there a lot of the times. And together we just create this experience, whether I give a talk, I might host, oh, I might guide people through an experience. We might have different speakers come from different places.

Starting point is 00:14:52 And I think, you know, they started telling me about what they wanted to do. And I started just generously going, hey, here's one way it could look. And they both kind of looked at me. And they were like, why don't you come with us? You need to come with us. And I was like, I'll go to one. I have a wife and two children. I'm not going to go on the whole tour.

Starting point is 00:15:09 They're like, bring them. So I was like, okay, yeah, let's do it. Let's go on a tour with a pop star. So it's been a really, really cool journey. And we're on a 35th city right now. Wow. and you brought the whole family. I brought the whole family for three different bursts of it.

Starting point is 00:15:23 I'm on the last stretch, and I didn't bring them because the drives through Texas are not short. My wife was like, yeah, we'll wait for you in L.A. So they're back in L.A. right now. I noticed on, you're typically hazardous podcast, and you do them, I know you do live events with those. And one of them was titled, Writing Your Life Story. Obviously, you're not going to give the whole speech here. but what's the core message in that speech or that talk? That's a great question.

Starting point is 00:15:53 Yeah, that podcast actually comes out today or at the time of this recording. Nice. And essentially what I have begun to realize is very much of what I just described about, what I'm passionate about is I realize for my life how passive that I've become, whether that was to be kind or whether that was to be obedient or whether that was to be a nice guy, however it is. and I think people would find that really surprising only because my life is, I'm a self-actualizer, so I just keep going and keep moving.

Starting point is 00:16:24 And I think people would be surprised. But I feel like internally I'm passive, when something negative comes into my life or when something positive comes into my life, I tend to perceive it with an open hand. And really the operative word for that talk that I gave has been something that I've been meditating on and something I've been working on in my own life is not the life story part because that usually tends to be people saying, well, what I'm going to do at the end of my life? Or what do I want my epitaph to say? Or when I'm dead, what will people say about me? And those exercises are a little tired and overdone. Mine is that the operative word is writing.

Starting point is 00:16:57 So for you, Ryan, the question I would have you ask is, what are the five chapters that you want in your life, whether that's falling in love, having children, making your millions, selling your company, whatever those chapters are, write them down, title them, and then write them down in great detail. because what your brain will do when you're doing that is it will pull all of these intuitive, unconscious things you didn't even know you were you wanted or that you were aware of, and it will put them on paper. And once it's on paper, now it's a visualization for your brain.

Starting point is 00:17:28 And the way our brains work are really interesting. Your brain cannot distinguish between something it experiences and something you vividly imagine. So when you vividly imagine something like visualizing, here's how I sold my company, how I started my company, how I fell in love, all these things. then your mind will make thousands of small, tiny, intuitive decisions to that end because your brain is inherently lazy and moves only to what it's familiar of. So when you write those things and when you envision that and when you actually sketch that out, you are actually creating a future your brain already thinks it's going to live and you'll move in that direction.

Starting point is 00:18:05 So part of that for me was just going, I want to be really, really detailed about what I want my future to look like. And then the second thing I'd have you do, Ryan, is write down a list of all the chapters in your life that you currently have that you didn't want. So whether you were cheated on when you were young, whether you were betrayed by a business partner, or you've been divorced, or you have a disease you didn't anticipate. And I would say actually write those things. Instead of playing defense the whole time and just going, well, let's see what this cancer does to me. You go, how I thrived, you write a chapter called how I thrived with cancer at 29. And then you write that sucker in grave detail. You write it. I've been doing this recently because

Starting point is 00:18:42 with all the things going on in my life, I get overwhelmed a lot. And I tend to get overwhelmed and be anxious and feel like wake up with a to-do list bigger than the days long. And I just started a chapter called how I overcame the sense of overwhelmed with my life. And I just started writing and six pages later, I was like, that's some of the best things I've ever written. And it informed me. And my, that overwhelmed feeling is much more stranger nowadays. And I think those are the, those really the most important beats is writing out the chapters that you want, writing out and taking control of the future of the chapters you didn't want. And then really asking yourself the question, what is the story that your life is telling?

Starting point is 00:19:30 Because all those chapters combined are going to tell a story of some kind. And the question is, what, what story, what impact do you really want to have on this planet? I love it, man. It makes me think of a good friend of mine named Philip McCurn. He's also been a guest. He teaches, he's an incredible speaker. I don't know if you know, Philip, but he's from Ireland, and we recorded, and he teaches a class called One Last Talk, and it helps people develop.

Starting point is 00:19:54 It's not like exactly the same, but it's similar to what you're talking about. But really, it's the exercise and the practice, I believe, of sitting down and writing it down and then getting up and saying it, I think can be extremely powerful. and life gets busy, it gets fast, we have kids, we have things we have to do, and we sometimes don't take the time to stop and to do those tasks that I think can be extremely helpful. But I couldn't help but wonder when you were saying this, Hank, about writing, what are the five chapters you want in your life? What are a couple of those chapters for you?

Starting point is 00:20:30 That's a great question. Yeah, for me, you know, for me, and I know this is going to sound funny, one of the first chapters I started writing down is how I made a million dollars. You know, I've been a nonprofit guy and I was a pastor. I've been a pastor for the last 15 years and running nonprofits and doing things and writing things. And when you're in that space and in that zone, and we didn't grow up rich. I grew up in central Ohio, Springboro, Ohio. And when you grew up that way and you say things like, man, I want to make a million dollars, I just always received a lot of relational shame for phrases like that or things like that, feeling that's too materialistic or too long.

Starting point is 00:21:07 whatever. And I mean, I've made a million dollars in my career. I just not, I just spent it all. What I want to do is, like for me, part of it is that silly thing of like that feels like a that feels like a milestone for me in my life where I just go, yeah, I've made a million dollars where I have activated all of the resource I have in my life, the relationships, the talent, the skill, the opportunity, all of it. And got into that million dollar market. And some people started their careers with a million dollars or family money or they're just really smart and they made a million first off and that's awesome. For me, I sort of circle back to it because because of what the million dollars means, not that it would change my lifestyle at all. I live pretty frugally and I enjoy that.

Starting point is 00:21:50 But it would have a marked effect, I think, for me of just saying, now that I can, I'm going to create this, I'm going to create that this kind of value in the world that's going to be worth that sort of million dollars. So it doesn't have to be a million dollar check, but as I write it, it's close. So that would, I think, be one. I think the other chapter in writing is about the kind of dad I am. I have two little girls. I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. And I'm writing a chapter about the kind of dad I am when my oldest daughter is 16 years old. And the kind of things we've done and the kind of places we've gone and how I've prioritized them.

Starting point is 00:22:22 And that's really, really, really important to me. And I think whenever I work with coaches or other people, they're like, wow, your family's really important to you. and I was go, yes, like sort of surprised that they're surprised. Like in my mind, family is everything, is a lot of the phrases we use around with adopt together. And I just always want my daughters to say that that was, that that was how I lived and that's how I was. So I think that's a big part of it for me. I think the other piece for me is I would really, really love to build an exit of company well.

Starting point is 00:22:51 And that's part of the conversations that I'm in right now about sort of this new phase and sort of figuring out what those look like. and I'm in a chapter right now of writing how I built and exited a company. And I realize about myself and maybe you have listeners, Ryan, that are a lot like me. I do not do well with a boss. I don't know about you. When I have bosses, I feel like I'm being packed into a small shoebox and put on a shelf. I just don't, I don't respond well to boss energy to the sense of micromanagement

Starting point is 00:23:19 or the nervousness that if I don't see you, you're not working. but I'm also not a solopreneur. Like, I'm not the kind of guy that's going to, I'm not going to Steve Jobs it or, you know, just chart the course and just go, it's just me against the world and I'll just get people to serve my dream. I'm a partner guy. So I work really, really well with equitable partnerships. Like when I feel like I'm a wingman of the person that I'm working with,

Starting point is 00:23:44 I am just like a freaking torpedo and I never run out of energy. So for me, that's part of the, that's, that's one of the chap. I'm writing is how I built and exited a company that I was partnered with, not one that has to be to serve my ego or my vision or I just don't, I don't think I have that kind of clarity as a, as a person. That's been what I've come to the awareness of. But man, when I'm partnered with one or two good people that I trust, that are also consistent and also have a high work ethic, that's when I have the most fun in my whole career. No, that is, I love it, man. I'm sitting here taking notes. It's really helpful.

Starting point is 00:24:21 You know, part of my preparation process, too, for this conversation, Hank, was, and I mentioned this to you, you've put a lot of great content, whether it's a TED Talk podcast, and I also was watching these videos you did for Leadercast. And we're not trying to pub them, but I think they're really well done. And I was interested when we're talking about leadership specifically, because that's the bedrock for this podcast, is talking about leadership and learning and continuing. to improve as a leader. And I love from your perspective, and maybe this has changed since you filmed those videos, but if you had to list out the three keys to being a fantastic leader, what does that mean to you? Yeah, that's great.

Starting point is 00:25:08 I don't know what I said in those videos, but I can tell you that I feel like the first thing I would say is that I feel like these things change. So for me, I could say now three things. I have no idea what I said in those videos about the three things, but they'll probably be in the same family. I feel like they change based on, for me, what I need in myself and what I need in the people around me. And I think all of us go through different seasons where our leadership muscle, the environment requires something different of us. And I think some of the things are universal and some of the things require sort of immediacy. So right now, as you can tell my immediate thing is consistency.

Starting point is 00:25:50 because I'm all over the place. But someone who's listening, who's a manager at a bank at an office there and feels like they've just done something consistently their whole career and is about to kill themselves because it's just so unbelievably the same thing every single day. Consistency is not the leadership muscle they need. They need risk. They need movement. They need inertia. They need enthusiasm. Does that make sense?

Starting point is 00:26:13 Yeah. So that's what I'd say is I think they would all change. And if you interviewed me in three months or six months, I'd be like, no, it's these. But right now, some of the things that are the most universal is, I think a leader is generous. And I think that comes with a posture of generosity. And I don't mean that you calculate, you know, have I given this person more than they've given me? You have a posture of generosity. You volunteer relationships, volunteer connections, volunteer advice, volunteer compliments, volunteer your energy.

Starting point is 00:26:47 for me I think so much of what I've observed in leadership is if the minute you are following somebody and you feel like their leadership is about them, you resent them, you resist them and you're just annoyed by them. But the minute you have a leader that you feel like is generous going, oh, as a leader, my job is to improve your life. I have this mindset that I go, if you work for me or you are on my team, you will jettison out of my team when we're doing. done together and say it was the best team I've ever been a part of. That's like in my mindset. And the way you're going to receive that energy is, and I want you to have worked harder than you've ever worked and I want you to be more productive than you've ever been. So I think that's part of the generosity as I look at this and go, what does this person need for me? How can I help

Starting point is 00:27:33 them? How can I serve them? And I think that's how people choose whether or not to follow you. Because at the end of the day, and one of my mentors used to say this too is he said 50% of leadership is being the right person. Because if you can't get competent, smart, talented, resourceful, connected people to follow you, it doesn't matter what kind of skills you have. They're not going to follow you, so you're going to end up with a lower level, competency level in terms of people who will be with you. So that's where I would put it. I think people follow generous people. I think secondly, I think people follow people that they trust. And I think part of that that moves into the element of character. And when you can be a trustworthy person, when you can be

Starting point is 00:28:15 an honest person. I think that's all part of being honest. That's all part of telling the truth. That's all part of being bizarrely honest. And I think that honesty in that character comes out in real moments. Like that's a real time honesty thing where you're saying, hey, I'm late because my internet doesn't work. Not like, I didn't feel like getting on time or like for this podcast. I was five minutes late. I'm like, hey, I'm in Houston and I've never been to this hotel and the internet's not working. All the way to telling someone, hey, I feel really uncomfortable at this event. or all the way in real time to saying, I'm a slightly underprepared,

Starting point is 00:28:48 but here's what I'd like to say. I think it starts with honesty like that, and I think it also moves towards honesty where they feel like you're going to be a person who's going to always tell the truth. In the era of the madmen meets Enron, meets, you know, and I love this guy,

Starting point is 00:29:03 but Kobe Bryant and sort of the unconvicted rapist stories, like there's just so much stuff where you go, oh, people aren't really who they say they are or they aren't really the, debt, that kind of thing. People are so refreshed and love to follow people where you go, this guy will tell me the truth, even if he does something really stupid. He's okay with that. He's a person who tells the truth. And then I think that third piece is, if I was going to, you know, just give it like another third category, is I would say that that person needs to

Starting point is 00:29:31 just be bizarrely and overwhelmingly accessible. I think that's probably the mistake I made early on in my leadership is that I was just really, really busy. And I think when you're accessible and I had a mentor who used to tell me this. He said the key to success is being likable and being accessible. Because he said if people are like if you're likable and accessible everyone will want you, they can get to you and they're going to want you in their world. They can get into yours and they want you and theirs. And I think that's a part of it is just being accessible to whoever it is that needs your advice, need your ideas, needs your thoughts, needs your input, needs your energy. I think when you can get into that space, you'll find out

Starting point is 00:30:08 how that stuff will will really have an impact. Man, hello, generous, trust, character, honesty, and being overwhelmingly accessible. I've mentioned this a lot, I guess, here, but that's because I think my dad does such a good job of this. I think we recorded it. We recorded a couple times together, actually. Obviously, I talked to him unfortunate on a daily basis, and he said, part of being a great dad, at least in my mind, is quoting him, is just being there. When you guys needed me, I have two brothers, a younger and older brother. when you guys needed me that I'll be there regardless of the time.

Starting point is 00:30:45 If you wanted to shoot free throws late at night or early in the morning or go to the batting cages, you know, when it's dark outside or needed somebody to catch when you're pitching, I was, I worked, I made sure I always said yes. And I think the same goes. That's why being a great leader is a lot like being a great dad. And it made me think of that when you said just being accessible to your people. I think part of being a leader is showing up. You've got to be there.

Starting point is 00:31:09 And sometimes at inconvenient times, you've got to be there. for your people. They depend on you. Yeah, no, I totally agree. Totally agree. And I think there's this misnomer that if I'm in charge and other people will do it and I can come in late and I can do whatever. I've just never been that guy. I've always been the first and last out. Maybe it's my Ohio upbringing or that American sort of paramilitary world that I grew up. But I've always had a first in last out thing.

Starting point is 00:31:35 And I find it that's what drives people towards the highest level of productivity and highest level of engagement is when they see you doing it before they are asked to do it or consider that it's part of their role as well. Yeah, if you're in any type of leadership role, even if you work in an office and you do have a boss, I think part of the deal when you get promoted is being there. It's just part of the deal. You've got to be there. I think that is something that you just take on the responsibility that if you're an individual

Starting point is 00:32:05 contributor, maybe not. I don't know. Maybe if you don't have a desire to lead. But if you do, then that's just that's part of what I think you're. sign up for. Not only that, but I think it's it's your duty to show up with a positive mindset for your people because they're going to look to you and their attitude and their mindset partially will be based upon yours. And so you've got to be prepared for that moment for them. Hank, I want to talk about World Adoption Day. It's coming up here in November. And I remember

Starting point is 00:32:37 last year when this was going on, I saw so many people. with pictures on social media on their hand of a smiley face. And I looked up and I thought, because my wife did this and so many others all over all social media, I thought, what is this? What's this all about? And so I learned it was about World Adoption Day. Can you share more about maybe some of the backstory behind why you've created this and what type of impact it's had? Yeah, so when we started adopt together, you know, we, one of my mentors in beginning that whole thing, and just an awesome advisor even to this day is a guy named Scott Harrison who started a nonprofit called Charity Water.

Starting point is 00:33:23 And every time I would email him a milestone, he said throw a party. So I would email him and say, we just got our first $100,000. You know, he's like throw a party, first half a million throw party, got our 513 throw party. May the first million throw a party. So we were about to hit our $5 million. And I said, hey, we need to plan this. We're going to throw a party. Let's do it around World Adoption Day because Blake Mycoski,

Starting point is 00:33:48 who started Tom's Shoes, does a really huge thing around World Site Day. And he's a good friend, a great advisor. And I just said he has World Site Day. And Scott has World Water Day. Let's do something around World Adoption Day because that is a really cool way where the international community kind of connects around that issue. And so we're sitting around a table. Googling and we're like Googling and everybody just kind of looks at me. They're like, dude,

Starting point is 00:34:10 I don't think there is a world adoption day. I'm like, come on. I know there's a world donut day and world rivers day and world mountain day. It's the international year of quinoa. So I know it's that day. So please, like it's got to be there. And they said, no. And we looked and looked. And I said, okay, then we know what we're doing. I said on our five millionth dollar right around November, which is national adoption awareness month, we are going to launch the first ever world adoption day. So I said, is the domain available? They were like, yep, I go, okay, buy the domain. Anyone got the Twitter hashtags?

Starting point is 00:34:40 Yep, all right, buy all that stuff. All right, this is our job. We're not planning a party. We're planning an international observance. And I called the United Nations. I got transferred to a guy at the International Observance Office and said, I'd like to submit a day. And he said, okay, are you an ambassador? And I said, I am to the International World Adoption Day.

Starting point is 00:35:04 and he laughed and he's like no no no you're a delegate and I said yeah I've delegated myself to make this phone call and he goes you know what this takes years and you know good luck on the process and I said how about this man I'm going to start the day it out later and he said listen if you start the day it won't be real and I said well here's the deal this is the international year of quinoa and no one in my life knows that so I'm going to make a day that everybody knows and then you and I will just will work later on that being observed. He said, good luck. So we, I was on a phone call with a guy. And again, I think with any idea, you want to, Seth Godin has this rule called the first 10, where you pitch the idea of 10 people. If it circles back to you, it's a good one. And so I did. I called

Starting point is 00:35:47 10 people that I knew had some connection to adoption or some connection to social movements called Scott, called Blake, called guys internationally, guys in Australia, guys in Canada. And one of the guys in Canada said, there's got to be something people can do. He goes, give me something to do. And then hung up the phone. He was like, yeah, this could work, but I've got to be able to do something. And for some reason, the minute he hung up the phone, the image in my mind was a hand with a smiley face on it. So I called him back and I said, hey, I'm sending you a picture. And I took a picture of my daughter with a hand and a smiley face. And I said, I'm going to have everybody do this. And he goes, done. And he says, and let's use the hashtag, let's go. And so I grabbed a handful

Starting point is 00:36:23 of people, started a group called the World Adoption Day Founders. And we invited the whole world to use the hashtag and use the social image. And to create a day that celebrated adoption, that wasn't, there was no money ask, there was no, there was no, there was no, you know, that social justice grit, there was none of that. It was just a breath of, hey, let's celebrate adoption because every other person in the United States has a personal relationship with someone who's been adopted and there's no international observance for them. and I had no idea how far it would spread, how many celebrities would get on board, and how many people would go.

Starting point is 00:37:04 In our first year, we had about 15,000 Instagram hashtags, about four or five million impressions on Facebook. We had about a million impressions an hour on Twitter. It was just really, really an incredible day, and then it took a life of its own the second year. And gearing up to this year, it's been pretty cool. We created an event around the day in Los Angeles, and people fly from around the world. to come and be a part of that event. It's called the Baby Ball. And it's been awesome for us for a couple reasons. One is it has created such an overwhelming community around adoption where people were, they were coming out as having been adoption. Actresses, authors, writers, models were saying,

Starting point is 00:37:45 hey, no one knows this, but I'm actually adopted. Here's a smiley face in the hashtag and I want to support World Adoption Day. So that for us is a big part of celebration. The other piece is we are printing out full-page images of every single person who does a smiley face and a hashtag, and we are delivering it to the United Nations each year as a way of requesting and as a way of using instead of signatures, I felt like that's too boring. And if I sent over, if I sent over a half million signatures, that's like, okay, cool, that works. That comes in a PDF. But when I can physically print it and send it to ambassadors as a, here's how many people want World Adoption Day to exist and let's have an international conversation about it, that has a lot more impact and has gotten us

Starting point is 00:38:27 some more attention than just a PDF with a bunch of names on it. So every time people post a smiley face and a hashtag, they are part of petitioning the United Nations, one of the most powerful global entities to bringing about a day of international observance. So it's been an incredible ride and just a ton of fun for us. Wow. How many of those pictures have you sent? So far, we're up to about 27,000. Man, I can't even imagine what it'll be like. So it's November 9th, correct? Yep, November 9th.

Starting point is 00:39:02 And, you know, it starts a little earlier because Ozzy's start on the 8th. And we've had an awesome group of Australians who kind of kicked it off last year. There were over 1,000 people who posted in Australia the day before, which really got it rolling. So it was a cool. Asia, the same story. They jumped in way early. So it's been awesome. And this year comes on the heels of the election.

Starting point is 00:39:23 So it'll be you'll have to find out who the president is and then post your selfie. So we're excited with that. Love it, man. Why, I know quickly here, I guess we're almost out of time. But why this, why adoption? Why is this the, what is you're passionate about? Yeah, it's great. Well, part of it is my family's sort of story is when I grew up, my mom had three of us biologically.

Starting point is 00:39:50 and then she told my dad that God put her on earth to be a mother. And my dad said, God put me on earth to make you happy. So whatever we need to do about that, again, those Midwestern values, right? Yeah. And so we had 36 foster kids come through our home in a seven-year period. And I got to watch firsthand what it looked like for children who live in this world without consistency, who live in this world without love and protection, who live in this world without the bond of an adult that will sacrifice to protect them.

Starting point is 00:40:22 And for, you know, being raised in a wholesome Midwestern home, that was so foreign to me, but to watch a little child coming to our home with burn marks on their body from their, from their own mother, had a big impact on my life and opened me up to seeing that there are so many children in the world, about 19 million worldwide, that don't have primary lead parents. So they live in orphanages or they live in foster homes or they live in group homes. and I've watched how the impact that that has on society. Our society as a whole spends about $3 billion a year for kids who age out of the foster care system in the United States.

Starting point is 00:41:01 About 25,000 kids age out of the foster care system each year. So what happens is about half of them are homeless. About 80% of prisoners in the United States, they came out of our foster care system. So for me, I feel like I live in a society that is hurting our children, and those children grow up to be adults that hurt our society. And we went on to adopt eight kids from six different countries. And so my family is made up of children who had no lead parent, had no primary caretakers, and I've watched how they've transformed inside our home.

Starting point is 00:41:34 And I want to create that world for as many children as humanly possible in my life. Some of the phrases we use are a world with no more orphans or a family for every child. And for me, anything that I can do with the resource or the relationships or the talent, in my life to help create families for children and to create and grow families through adoption. But I'm going to do that for the rest of my life. It's incredible, Hank. I love the story and I appreciate you sharing and the work that you do when you put out in the world, man, it's having such a massive impact on so many people and so thoughtful too at the same time.

Starting point is 00:42:11 So I just want to acknowledge that from you. Appreciate you. and thank you for investing your time. Where would you send people to learn more about you online? They can go. That's a great question. They can go to Hankfortner.com is great. Or they can follow me most.

Starting point is 00:42:26 Anything I'm doing that's active and real is on my Instagram, which is just at Hank. But if you have a pet named Hank, please do not tag me as that animal that happens every day of my life. I get tagged as people's animals because apparently Hank is a common animal name. But I'm the only human Hank you know and I'm at Hank on Instagram. Nice, man.

Starting point is 00:42:46 Well, thanks again, Hank. And I absolutely want to continue this dialogue to Ohio guys. We've got to obviously keep this thing going, man. And I'm excited for November 9th this year and onward, man. Excellent. Ryan, I'm so grateful to be on your podcast. And I love how your podcast has started out as just a small podcast in Ohio and has now grown to be this learning leader movement.

Starting point is 00:43:08 And I know that people in Australia and Asia and all of Europe are hearing my voice because of what. what you've put in and how you've designed it. And I just love the posture of it, that a learning leader, it's not a commanding leader and a pushing leader or a powerful leader, or ego leader,

Starting point is 00:43:24 which is a problem in this world. But the humble posture of impact in the world and driving that, I just, I love what you've done and I love the work. And I'm, I'm a listener. So when I got your email, I was like,

Starting point is 00:43:36 yes, I would definitely, definitely love to be a part of your podcast. So it's an honor. Ryan, thanks so much. That means, means more to me than you know to hear that.

Starting point is 00:43:45 So thank you so much, Hank. I appreciate it, man. Awesome. Thanks, man. And let's do it again soon. Definitely. All right. This episode of The Learning Leader Show is over, but we have plenty more to keep you locked in until next time. Head over to Learningleadershow.com for more information

Starting point is 00:44:01 and to request your favorite entrepreneur, CEO, world-class athlete, or anyone else that inspires you. You can also talk to Ryan directly by reaching out to him on Twitter at Ryan Hawk 12. Thanks again and we'll see you next time on the Learning Leader Show.

The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk - 161: Hank Fortener - "The 5 Chapters Of Your Life"

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