The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk - 418: Mark Scharenbroich - How To Tell Stories That Move People (Nice Bike)

Episode Date: May 9, 2021

Text LEARNERS to 44222 for more... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12  https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Mark Scharenbroich is an Emmy award winner, best-selling author, and hall of fame keynote speaker. He is known for his authentic delivery, his talent for delivering unique stories, and his comedic timing. He's the author of Nice Bike: Making Meaningful Connections on The Road of Life. Notes: Nice Bike. It's not a technique, it's a genuine interest in others and the willingness to acknowledge the talents and accomplishments of everyone. The three parts to story-telling: Stories need to be unpredictable, they need to have a hook, and they have to have a cast of characters. While in college at St Cloud State, Mark toured high schools and colleges with a comedy troupe called Mom's Apple Pie which helped him develop his comedic timing and ability to improv. While on a trip to Washington DC with his dad, Mark witnessed his dad walking up to a couple of Vietnam veterans and saying, "Thank ya fellas. Welcome home." The moment was unforgettable to Mark as he witnessed what it meant to be grateful for others and to connect with them. The "dark chocolate" that Mark's daughter gave to a struggling stranger at the airport. "We don't have to fix all the problems, but acknowledge others, see them, and try to connect with them." The CEO of Cargill said it's not a secret what leaders need to do: State where we're going State how we're going to get there Show that you have your team's back Show that you care about your team as people Leaders must always be in the trenches and learning... And work to create memorable experiences for the people they are leading How to give a great toast at a wedding or eulogy at a funeral? Remember it's not about you, it's about the bride and groom Be story-driven The power of three - "She's about faith, family, and friends" and then tell a short story about each of the three What Mark learned from a "meat raffle" You have to buy a ticket for a shot to win You must be present to win The same is true for leadership. You have to be engaged and take the chance to do it. You must be present with your team. Be a "day-maker." Instead of just being a barber or a stylist, work to make your client's day by giving them an amazing haircut. BWCA - Leave the area better than you found it... A great rule for life. Core values - "When your core values are clear, decisions are easier." Comparison - Compare yourself to your previous self. Be grateful for what you have. Someone else will always have more crayons. Focus on your crayons. Advice to those who think they aren't creative. You are... You have to find the stories. Focus on four columns People you've had experiences with Experiences you've had Lessons learned Application to the lives of others Roberta Jordan: "It's more important to be interested than interesting." Life advice -- "Leave a tip for the staff who cleans your hotel room."  

Roy Disney said the same thing. When your values are clear, decisions are easy. And the biggest difference between top performing companies, top performing individuals, is that they've spent some time to say, okay, what do I really believe in in in this world? What's my guide? What's my moral compass? What are your core values? And as a leader, boy, you get promoted from top sales rep.

Now you're good at that, so now you manage people and lead. I think that's your first step. Welcome to the Learning Leader Show. presented by Rixie and Meyer. I am your host, Ryan Hawk. Thank you so much for being here. Text learners to 44222 to become part of Mindful Monday. You along with tens of thousands of other learning leaders from all over the world

will receive a carefully curated email for me with the latest ideas, articles, books, podcast, videos to help you start your week off right. You'll also receive details about how my book, Welcome to Management will help you become a more effective leader. Text learners to 4422. Now on to tonight's feature leader, the great Mark Sharon Brock, Emmy Award winner, Hall of Fame keynote speaker who has done it for decades,

author of the bestselling book titled, nice bike making meaningful connections on the road of life and I've been fortunate to see mark perform in person and he's one of the best I've ever had the pleasure of seeing a few the topics we discussed the three keys to becoming a better storyteller and why this is so important for leaders then the four questions that every leader must be able to answer and why. And then something very practical that is often asked of Mark and that is how to give a great wedding toast and for the unfortunate moments of life, eulogy. But it's important to get these big moments right. And Mark has some great ideas on how to do that. Ladies

and gentlemen, this is a treat. It's Mark Sharon Brock. All right, Mark, to kick it off, I saw you in action. I think it was like five-ish years ago. And I got to tell you, so I had my podcast going at the time, but I was a VP of sales, North American sales at a company called Elsevier Clinical Solutions. And I'm pretty hard on keynote speakers. Like I typically would say, that guy wasn't that good or she wasn't that good. So they told me you were the speaker. and I go to sit down and I never heard of you prior to that.

And an hour later, I remember walking out saying, that's one of the greatest keynotes I've ever seen. That guy was awesome. I laughed. I cried. I was moved. And it was an hour, man. And so that's why I've been looking forward to talking to you about that ever since.

And it's been about five years. So it's great to have you here, man. Thanks, Brian. You're my favorite type of audience member, jaded. I come in jaded let's go I love that do you really well I'm the same way are you I'm yeah come on win me over take tell me why I'm tell me what you're going to do what what's in it for me and uh yeah it's a difference between climbing mount Everest and saying everybody hey I climb on Everest let me tell you about my trip or it's hey climb on Everest let me tell you everything I learned that's going to help you sell more cars this

month than you've ever done in your entire life. So it's it's a benefit to the audience, right? It's a benefit to your listeners. That's a big thing about your podcast and your live presentations. I want people to get something. So hopefully in our time together, we can have somebody's listening right now saying, all right, what do you got for us, fellas? Yeah. Well, we're going to talk a lot about connections. There's a two word phrase that's associated with your name for the people who don't know. We're going to talk a lot about that phrase. But I want to start a little bit more personal. and I've seen you tell this story, and I want to ask you to tell it here.

It's about your dad. You and your dad took a trip to Washington, D.C., and he is a character in the story. He's not necessarily the main character. There are others who are involved, but you went to Washington, D.C., and I believe you were looking at the memorial or the wall that honored the Vietnam veterans. And I'd love for you to share the rest of that story, Mark, as well as why I'm that's an important story to share with audiences and what it means. You know, I can't speak for every daughter. I'm sure it's true. But I know every son wants that

moment with their father, that bonding moment that, hey, dad, let's play catch from field of dreams. It's the acknowledgement from your father. And growing up, although my dad was always there for me, I mean, we never played catch. We never did things in the backyard, never fixed a 57 chavre when, you know, camping or hunting. When hunting once, I was 12. Yeah, Mark, go over that ditch over there, kick around. Any birds flush hit the ground real quick, okay? I was the dog.

It wasn't really a bonding experience. But my dad was a World War II, go to the VFW on Saturday mornings, not real emotional fella. And in my stories, I give you a much better sense of who this guy was. But he had never heard me speak before. And I was well into my career. And I had to speak in engagement in Washington, D.C., shared a platform with the first lady. I mean, she spoke the day before me, but it was the same platform.

But I said, Dad, because I was a, I listened to his stories about World War II, and I found he hadn't been on an airplane. And he was a torpedo bomber in the Pacific off an aircraft carrier. And he hadn't been in an airplane since World War II. Hadn't been, hadn't flown since he came home from the war. And this was a guy that landed on the U.S.S. Lexington 97 times on combat and training missions. I said, Dad, you haven't been in airplane. He says, oh, you know your mother.

She never wants to go anywhere. Dad, let's go on a trip. And I begged my mom, and she was, oh, Mark, take your father, do me a favor. Okay. and it was about 11 o'clock at night. We're in the Lincoln Memorial, and there's three of us there. Abraham Lincoln, my father, and me, and it's just a profound moment. As we stood on Martin Luther King, Jr. stood looking out,

we decided to take a left, and we bumped into the Vietnam Memorial. Hadn't been up that long. And I was in a lottery to go to Vietnam. I mean, a lot of men volunteered to serve it wasn't enough. So he started to draft followed by a lottery. The lottery being, there's these guys on TV that we didn't know, and they would pull a birth date and a number. And if your birth date hit on a low number, one to a hundred,

you're going to Vietnam. If you had 100 and above, you're home. My birth, October 24th was picked as 256. So I was home. But what it meant is men served in our place. And 58,000 of those men and women, Their names are engraved in Granite, Washington, D.C. And the ones that came back were not appreciated.

We're not acknowledged. They blame the warrior for the war. And as my dad and I walk along the wall late at night, there's two Vietnam Betts silently. One of the guys had his hand on the wall on a fellow comrade's name. And as we had close, my dad, Mark, coming over here for a second. He walked over the guys. He said, excuse me, fellas. were you over there, Vietnam?

And the guy said, yeah, yeah, we were. Thank you, fellas. Welcome home. And the Vietnam vet looked at my dad and said, you know, sir, you are the very first person who has ever said, thank you to me for serving the country that I love. That means a lot, man.

And again, my dad, there's this big, huge bear hug. And my dad was not really comfortable with hugging at that point in his life. And I saw tears in the Vietnam on vets and tears in the World War II vet's eyes, my father. And that was as a son, the first, the last time I ever saw that. And it really, it was the moment with my father, that teachable moment where sometimes you just don't walk by people. Sometimes you've got to reach out. Sometimes you've got to express that gratitude. It's simple, heartfelt words at the right moment, help heal.

and move people forward. And it was a, yeah, it was the greatest moment I ever had with my father. Wow. The idea from a leadership perspective, Mark, of not walking by people, I also heard a story of your daughter, seeing somebody frantic sitting on the ground in an airport and stopping briefly and handing her a piece of dark chocolate. And it seems that what you stand for, what you believe in, just seems to be, kind of embodied by your family members. And so could you expand or expound on the thought from a

and thinking of leaders in general. And obviously this is me following my own curiosity to trying to be a better leader. But I think about the people listening to to try to help them. But how could they do their form of thank you fellows and their form of handing the piece of dark chocolate to the person who's struggling? How can they do that for the people that they're leading and their team and just people in their community as well. Oh, you gotta spend 30 seconds on this story about Kate, our daughter. Please, yeah. She is a sweet.

Well, I mean, it's LaGuardia out of New York coming home for Christmas. The airport is loaded. It's bad weather. Every flight is book solid. And she walked by another young, Katie is in her mid-20s. And she was walking by a young gal on the ground that was just in tears. And she didn't ask her, what's wrong or how can I help you? were, she walked by her and then she came back and said, she just handed her some dark chocolate,

said, you know what, sometimes dark chocolate helps. I mean, and that was it. And the girl just gave her big smile. Katie boards her flight. She's way in the back and a middle seat. And the last person to get on the flight is the girl she gave the chocolate to, the young woman she gave the chocolate to. And as the gal sat down, she sat down the middle. So I can't believe they had on this flight. I just wanted to go home for Christmas. I miss my family so much. You wouldn't believe this angel came up to me and I was crying and she gave me a piece of dark chocolate

and I smiled. And it was the neatest thing that's ever happened. It was like a Christmas gift. She didn't even know that Katie was behind her, you know? I think it's not that you have to fix people's problems, not that you have to correct what's going on all the time, but to acknowledge where they're at, to recognize where they're at,

where they're at and have the empathy for them, I think is a great gift of a leader. Know what's going on with your people. I mean, you always hear, from so many interviews, Ryan, leading in the trenches, knowing what's going on, what's happening with your people,

what are they feeling, what are they thinking? Best leaders are out there. I don't care if it's a high school principal that's doing bus duty at the end of the day, walking through the cafeteria, making sure everything's okay. Or if it's General Motors and they're working on the, walking down the floor to make sure how are things going?

I mean, that's one of the great things of leadership is being out there with your people, finding out what's going on and having them know that you care about them and what they're doing. I had a, do you know the company at Cargill? One largest privately held companies in the U.S. based here in Minnesota or Minnesota. And Dan Dye works one of their divisions.

I spoke at his division, incredible leader. And I was asking him, same thing you do. I'm curious. Because one of the greatest things we have when we work with companies is we get to sit in the audience, oftentimes the front row. And listen to their CEOs, their top leaders about here's where we're going. I said, Dan, your people adore you. Your whole division has been performing. So what are you doing?

What's the secret? You said, no secret. He said, Mark, every thought. follower, every team member has four questions of the person up front. Where are we going? How are we going to get there? You got my back on this thing? I mean, am I out there alone? Are you with me on this thing? And number four, do you care about me? Where are we going? How do we get there? You got my back covered and do you care about me as a person? Am I just one more number in my one more widget? Or do you care about me as a person? And if your team,

knows that man you're heading out there you're going to where you need to go um i want to start at the beginning of your career mark so you have this um and we're going to get into some of this too and get practical for a second as we go but you have this incredible comedic timing this uh use of silence uh body language uh from the stage and i believe when you were in college did i read this right, that you are part of a comedy troupe that you would travel around with a group doing sketch comedy? Is that part of your early story? Yeah. It's right in high school or spring of our spring of your senior in high school, you either get in a lot of trouble or you get very creative, right? Because you're out, you're graduating, there's days left to count. Let's just go.

And so we formed a comedy group of four guys and just did oh, money, Python, Saturday, pre-Saturday Night Live short sketch comedy, right? Improv or no, you write it out? We would do a lot of improv on stage, but we would write sketches, just like the Saturday Night Live and then perform the sketches anywhere from 30 seconds to three-minute sketches, five-minute sketches. But the only places to perform are high schools and colleges. I mean, there were no comedy clubs.

And so we bought a school bus, painted like a Partridge family and started touring around doing shows. Really? To college, fall quarter, we quit. winter quarter to go do shows, get back in the spring for spring football. And that's why it took five years to get out of college. And when the group broke up because of my wife, Yoko Ono, I went back to the same high schools as a solo presenter

with a presentation called The Greatest Days of Your Life So Far, which means that high school is not the best time for everybody, but as long as you're here, be engaged. Don't be a jerk. Do nice things. Make some memories, not regrets. And I was in high school gymnasiums for 25 years speaking out, I think about 3,500 schools all together, right? Did school programs?

And so you got a ton of reps earlier in your career, I would imagine, from just being on the road constantly doing multiple shows a day. Is that right? Making multiple mistakes a day. Yeah. Yeah, because that's how you learn any craft. Right. Yeah. When you go, when you go, I know it's, we haven't made it, we go on a stage with with hundreds or thousands of people in an audience recently, but you have for many years. Do you, like, do you still get nervous? Uh, or are you to the point now we're like, I got this. I've done it for for a long time. I have a ton of reps. Like, how do you feel before you go on a stage? Every audience is different. Every audience is a new opportunity. Every out. I mean, whether it's a Monday or Friday, whether it's a Marriott or a gym, whether it's 8 a.m. or 8 p.m. whether the company is doing well or not to have the leadership they have, the culture of that. I mean, there's so many different factors.

There is no same speech. There is no same audience. And what works for one audience might not work for another or some audiences might warm up very slowly. Others just kick in huge. A group of all male plumbers is different than Mary Kaye Cosmetics people. So you've got to be fluid. And it's kind of like what I said earlier, about great leaders being in the trenches,

great leaders knowing what's going on with their people. If you know your presentation well enough, I mean, where not that it's memorized, because I'm pretty fluid, all my presentations are really fluid, but I know, I know enough of what I want to say that my concentration is on the audience and how I have to make adjustments throughout. Do I get nervous?

It's, I guess, I think that it's the same way as I've never skied, but I see these people jumping out of a helicopter and skiing down these mountains and this powder. It looks pretty cool. I'm guessing that they're excited about going down that mountain instead of falling and breaking their leg. So I think it's the same thing. I think it's that excitement to dip in some powder and go and see if I can take the audience on a journey and then give them some great lessons that will help what they're doing. The first thing you said to me as we connected, which made me laugh was nice voice. And I thought you were going to say, nice bike.

Where, where, I don't have a bike. I have a bicycle. I don't have a bike. But can you tell me where the phrase nice bike came from and why it became your slogan? Nice question. I so I'm speaking in gymnasiums high school students and I like them a lot but I'm getting older I move from their young cool guy to their cool older brother to their cool young dad to I was going into grandfather country with the kids it was time to move on and I wanted the challenge of

you know when I check into a marriott I'd see a meeting going on in a ballroom I thought man that that that scares me to be in front of that group I don't know what I'd say to them so I knew the skills on a platform from being in gymnasium speaking to kids, but I didn't have the message for adults or of any group. And I was speaking to a group of educators in Wisconsin, Nina, Wisconsin, north of Milwaukee, flew from Minneapolis, my home, went to Milwaukee, rented a car, I think a beige fort tourist from Avis, and I'm driving north through Milwaukee to get to Nina. And I realize that I just landed in the Harley-David-David-Savis. and motorcycle 100 year anniversary.

Half a million, hardcore black leather, the big chain on the wall, a tattooed, I've never been on a Harley, Ryan. I've never even sat on a Harley. But that damn my beige Ford Taurus, I mean, I wanted a Harley. I only be a part of that tribe, right? It just looks so cool.

And I'm like you, I'm curious. So I pull over to these different venues to see what's going on. And I see this guy, he's like right out of Game of Thrones. I mean, eight feet tall, the big beard, tough looking, standing by this beautiful midnight black bike with lots of chrome. And a guy goes walking by him and looks at him and says, ah, nice bike.

And this big guy just starts to smile and starts to tell him the story about how he and his father, he was a big Harley guy and how they're, worked in Harleys together and the conversation. And I realized, wow, it wasn't about the, it wasn't about the Harley. It was about the connection. It was about these two people coming together quickly. And I kept walking around and hearing nice bike. Oh man, nice back. And seeing that same sparkle of connection. So next day when I'm talking to teachers, I said, you know, the first day of school is coming up tomorrow. And as you stand by the front door, as you watch people come in students, as you watch the kids come into a room, instead of saying, good morning, good morning,

if you say, oh my gosh, Ryan, I can't believe I got you in my classes here. Your father's in broadcasting and someday you're going to have a deep voice just like him. It's so good to have you here. That's nice bike. Yeah. And the audience nodded. And when an audience nods or writes a note, you've got something. So they ad lib turned into a story. A story turned into a major part of my presentation. Nice bike turned into my metaphor for how we connect, which is our book, which is our website, which is my whole message. It's all about how we connect with others. So Nice bike has been the driving metaphor, that whole connection theme. How can a leader, Mark listening right now, who is running a great team? They're doing well.

Culture's good. Everything's solid. hitting the numbers, whatever may be. But maybe as they're being reflective on this conversation and listening to you tell your stories, there's like, I don't know if I'm nice biking enough people. What are some practical ways for a leader to get better at implementing nice bike into their culture? You know, Michelangelo, I'm a huge fan of Michaelangelo's work. His quotes, everything about him is, to me,

fascinating as far as creativity. And he died at age 88, which during the Renaissance was forever old. His last words were, I'm still learning. Michelangelo, I'm still learning at age 88. So no matter where we're at our company, with our team, I'm still learning. We're still growing. We can still get better. How far do we, how far could we go if we didn't know? And so I think one of the great tasks of a leader is to help their people realize, let's keep going. How good can this puppy be? And, you know, what do people say when they win the Super Bowl? My gosh, five minutes later, they're saying, got to get it back next year. They're already working on next year. They mean,

they don't even savor that moment. They're moving, let's do it again. So I think part of the job of leader is to help people know that they can grow. As far as the nice bike, the words that I use for leaders on nice bike are to acknowledge, to honor, and to connect. Acknowledge means to be fully present in the lives of others, to be there, to be aware what's going on as my father was when he walked past the guys on the Vietnam wall. honor is to create memorable experiences for others to make an investment in their memory bank as my father did with the simplistic words of gratitude and connect is making it personal to own it to know that those moments that you can control in your life to take advantage of that moment and connect with others around you back to dan die where are we going how are we going to get there and the last two factors You got my back on this and do you care about me? That's the nice bike part of it.

Am I a valuable member of the team? And do you care enough to help me grow and someday replace you? I think that's the ultimate, the ultimate gift of any leader and the ultimate to be humble to say, I want to raise people that are even better than me. Do you have kids? Yes. We're raising five daughters.

Are you serious? I am. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. I would love five daughters. Would you? Yeah, I don't know. Do you? I do.

I do. We all love our situations we have. I love them all the time. I love the situation most of the time. No, you know, I love it all the time. It's awesome. It may be, you know, I was going to hear later, but I'm going to go here now. I watched the speech you get you have one daughter.

So you're probably, you're only going to do that one time. But I watched the speech, the toast you gave at your daughter's wedding. And I mean, not surprising. It was awesome. Great stories.

It was funny. You know, everything. You spoke multiple languages, different voices. You did what you do. But there are people listening now who think about that moment. They're giving a toast.

They're giving a little speech at like a, a formal event like their daughter's wedding or something like that. And people just get so nervous and usually they, they mess it up. And even good communicators do. What are, what are some pieces of advice you would give to somebody? This is a practical portion that doesn't really have anything to do with business,

but something more important because it's an important moment in our lives. What advice would you give to somebody to give a great toast, to give a great speech at their daughter's wedding, to give a great talk in a moment like that that's outside of the business world. I think the first step is to realize it's in any situation like that. It's not about you. It's about the bride. It's not about you.

It's about the family of the person that just lost someone at the funeral, right? That your job, it's not about you to entertain, but it's about you to keep the light on somebody else. Number two, it should be story driven all the time. Once upon a time is a story. That dog doesn't hunt is a story. It doesn't have to be seven minutes. But short stories and images always capture the imagination

in the heart. I had a friend who lost his father. I knew his dad, Vern, really well, super good guy from Ohio, your state. He was a Justin sales representative class rings and graduation products. And the son called me, said, I need to eulogy. I don't know what I don't want to say. I said, okay, tell me something about Byrne.

And he was telling me all these different stories. And I said, what was important to him? He said, well, family was super important. He loved his friends. His business, he was really dedicated to it. He loved desserts. Matter of fact, whenever we went to a buffet, he get the dessert first.

that's okay, there you have it. That's your opener, that's your closer, and those are your three points. I mean, because every, I'm a strong believer in the power of three. You've got to have three. I honestly think that Moses embellished on the way down for the mountain. I think God said, okay, here's the two commandments. Love God and love your neighbor, okay? Everything else will fall into place. And I think on the way down, Moses embellished and came up with all these pet peeves that he had. Because if you follow the first two commandments, you're fine and everything else. Anyway. True. Yeah, three points work versus 15 points, 10 points, seven keys.

Although that seven habit thing was pretty good by that guy. But anyway, I said, okay, your three points are faith family friends, because he went to religious services every week, faith family friends. Those are your three points. And you open up with the fact you thank the people for being there. you always do that. And then it's about a short story, Vern, whenever he went to a buffet, I always had desserts first.

Because he believed that application, you've got to enjoy the good things in life. Don't let them get past you. Don't let those sweet moments get past you in life. See him and embrace them. The three things that Vern loved the most were faith, family, friends. I'm going to tell one story about faith, one story about family, one story about friends.

And then my clothes is, again, we thank you for all being here. And do this. The next time you go to a buffet, instead of going to the salad bar, I want you to walk up with desserts, grab one and say, hey, Byrne, this one's for you. It's so sweet of all you to be here. Thank you. So you got your opener. You got your three points.

You got your clothes. It ties into the opener. A lot of people think that we have to look for this huge, big, dramatic story where some of the simplest things that are in front of us are where the great storytelling belongs. I talk about in Minnesota, we have meat raffles. Do you have meat raffles? Meat raffles?

Obviously not. What is that even mean? Well, if you go past the VFW, the American Legion, hoot and holler bar up in Black Duck, Minnesota way up there, you know. You see a sign of front that says meat raffle tonight, which means that the bar owner goes to a local grocery store and buys a wheelbarrow. Seriously, right? A wheelbarrow full of fresh meat brings it back to the bar, puts it on the pool table.

Like a cow? Well, they don't bring a cow. They're bringing packet meats. Yes, here's, yeah, beef, hamburger. We've bought, my wife and I bought a fourth of a cow from a friend who has them. So I'm kind of in this world, but not really. So yeah, it's for meat lovers. Yeah.

And it's on the pool table, not because it's refrigerated, because it's a well, the best lit spot in the house. You go out there and you have a beer and you buy a raffle ticket for a buck. And they go, okay, round one until that meat's gone. Ready? 10.1.24. Hey, that's me. And you get to go to the pool table and grab meat.

It's a raffle. Okay. Raffle for meat. Heck, yeah. What a night. That's what you guys do on your Fridays. It's a long winter in Minnesota, Ryan. And so the point of the meat raffles, there's two rules.

Number one, you have to buy a ticket, right? You can't just walk into a bar, go to the pool table and grab meat. And rule number two is you must be present to win. You can't stop at the bar and you wait home from work and say, hey, Ryan, here's $5. If I win some meat, have a courier to my home. Come on, hang around, drink beer, win meat. And those two lessons will help any leader on the path that they're on. The rule one is you have to buy a ticket.

In this world, you've got to earn it. You've got to earn the respect. It's not just given to you. You've got to earn the reputation. You've got to earn it. You've got to buy a ticket. And number two, you must be present to win. I mean, I walked into a restaurant a year ago, saw a family of five around a table.

and they all had their heads bowed in prayer. And I thought, well, I haven't seen that for a bit. And as I got close, I realized they're all looking at their smartphones, ignoring each other because there's obviously something else better going on someplace else and that you didn't want to miss out. I mean, tools help us, tools hurt us. And to be fully present in the lives of others is the greatest gift that any leader can give. Mark, you're obviously a talented storytellers.

We've already, you've told multiple stories throughout our short time together. And I've read about and watched your process when it comes to storytelling. And so I want to unpack that a bit. And I'll, I'll tee it up and then you can hit it off the tea. But you had mentioned before that stories need a few things. One, they need to be unpredictable. Two, they need to have a hook. And three, they need to have a cast of character.

And so can you unpack, because I think the skill to tell compelling stories is a worthy pursuit of your time investment to work on from a leadership perspective, from a parenting perspective, which obviously is the greatest form of leadership. But think about the power that stories have over people. That's what moves people to actually act. So can you share the nature of them being unpredictable, having a hook and having a cast of characters and how maybe someone listening could become a better storyteller

through you unpacking your process to tell great stories? Well, the cast of characters, I mean, you opened up, Brian, by talking about being in the front row and listening to a speaker and being a bit jaded. And when I watch other speakers, I'm the same way. I'm critiquing them. And until they take me on a journey and I forget to critique. Yep.

And when you want to- Exactly what happened, by the way. Exactly what happened where I forgot that I was being a jaded judgeer of the speaker. And I was like along for the ride. And by the end of it, I was like I had to catch my, I mean, you know, it was one of those situations. Oh, sweet. Yeah. I mean, if the best part of a speaker's presentation is their YouTube video or the cartoon that they put up, you know, you should write your own material.

And we all have things in our life. It's common experiences. We're looking for common experiences. We're looking for things that we all share together. I mean, look at people found funny in COVID. Toilip paper, right? We were all giggling about to why? Because we heard the toilet paper there's a run, so we all went out and got some.

I think it's when you can find the common threads of common experiences that weave people together. I think is the thing. As far as the characters go, so instead of doing a YouTube video, I want to act out my characters. If I'm going to give a quote by Al Capone, not a good role model, but pretty nifty in what he did with his team, I want to imitate Al Capone. my mom whenever I give her a call and say how's the family she'd go through the list of my brothers and sisters but she would imitate them all you know my brother's kind of deaf and so she would talk like him my sister's kind of whiny can I say that I don't think she listens as broadcast and you know so my mom but it was my mom would bring these characters alive on the phone and she wasn't entertainer she wasn't she's just great mom but I think when

you bring a level of interest to your listeners by kind of bringing a person alive that if they said something to you, what did they sound like? What did they feel like? How were they? I think that something in your presentation that's a hook, for me, it's nice bike. With high school students, it was the greatest days of your life so far. They remembered that. With the burn crier, it's get the desserts first. It's something that people, it's a, it's a, it's a call. to action at the end that the next time you go down the road and your gas station filling up on a big Harley pulls up next to you, just look at that person to go, hey, nice bike and wait for the smile and you'll see the connection that I'm talking about. So a some kind of small

call to action, not, all right, let's go out there and double our sales from what we did last year. What's something I can do this week that's going to create an interaction with another human being that's going to make me go, wow, that was cool. I mean, that's what a hook is. And as far as predictable, if you can take an audience and tell a story and they think you're going this way and all of a sudden you take a hard left and go a different direction, it just makes it, it's a roller coaster ride. To take an audience on a roller coaster ride is I think it's the,

the greatest challenge. How do you do that? How do you, how do you, do you have to really workshop a story to figure out the best method to make it? Because I agree. I mean, it's like the best books are written that way. The best stories are told that way when you're on stage and all of a sudden you know where it's headed and then wait what?

That's, that's what we want. Like how do, how do you, how do you get to that place? Well, I mean, you did it today. I mean, this is audio, but as we're looking at a Zoom call with each other, when I started talking about meat raffles, you've never heard of them before. And you're going down one direction. And all of a sudden, I said, but there's two points. Number one, you must be present to win.

And you've got to buy a ticket. You went, oh, I get it. Yeah, there's a point here. So it's, I mean, I don't know how you develop that. For me, it's just 5,000 presentations. Yeah. And hoping the 5,001, I can keep that open, that door. open. You wrote a story about a hairdresser who was also the CEO of this business. And I think you

exchanged business cards or at least he gave you his business card. And on the business card, it said daymaker, not CEO or owner or whatever, but it said daymaker. Why should leaders look to become daymakers? And what does that mean? You know, I can't remember who, wrote it. His name will appear as soon as this in our chat is over about the difference between a resume and a eulogy, right, of what what you've accomplished or what you've been significant at. And a lot of us, I mean, we want to accomplish. We want to get things done. We want to, you know, get some cool things, have some cool experience. do the best we can for our five daughters or our three kids, our family,

you know, help the person that we're in love with, grow as a person, all those things, you know, but did we really make a difference? My favorite movie is saving Private Ryan. It's an incredible movie. Steven Spielberg, such a powerful movie. But at the very end, Ryan, who they saved in World War II, said to his wife, have I been a good man? Have I lived a good life? I mean, that's the question

for all of us to ask. And regarding the, it was Wagner, Richard, Richard Wagner of Jute Salons. He was a CEO, and I spoke to a salon association. The All Wear Dark had really good hair, pretty darn hip, great audience. I was speaking with him about his business and everything, and we gave me his business card and said daymaker and so of course why daymaker and he said I was working a chair at my salon and a woman came in one of my regulars and we had a great conversation and I did her hair and told her how beautiful she looked and she left and a couple days later she wrote me a note send it to me that said life had fallen apart and I was at my end and I was ready to take my life.

And I wanted to come in and have you do my hair so that when they would find me, I would look nice. And he said, all I did, and she said, you made me feel so good. You made me feel like I mattered. And I'm going in to see help now, and my life is turning around. I'm going to be on a better path.

He didn't know that he was saving someone's life. He didn't know that the difference he was making, that's the thing of it. When you connect with strangers, connect with people, when you acknowledge them, honor them, and connect with them,

when you nice, spike them, you don't know how much those words truly mean. I mean, the profound impact my father had on a Vietnam vet when he said,

thank you, fellas, welcome home. That had a profound impact. So I think we want to know that our lives matter, and I think by connecting on a personal level like that, it says that our life does.

I know you go up to an area in northern Minnesota with your wife, Sue, I think it's called the BWCA area, which stands for something. You could let me know. But there's a simple rule that I believe exists that I'm not certain it's written. In fact, I think it's not written. And that rule is leave the area better than you found it. And I know this is also the Girl Scout rule and there are others that that use this. And I particularly love it because it's very simplistic, but you can always ask yourself, that I leave this person better than I found them, that I leave this place better than I found it. And I think it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a nice, uh, phrase to have in your mind at all times because Mark, think about not to get to whatever, kumbaya or woo, but, but seriously think about if like, that's how we all thought. if you go into each interaction with a person or a place or a thing, thinking when I leave, it's going to be better. I'm going to, I'm going to purposely and intentionally try to make that

better. And this is, this is a lot of stuff. You write about this a lot. And so I, you know, I could tell like you live this way. You started that way from the second we've connected here, both from our emails as well as from us, our time already here together. And just talk a little bit more about leaving a person, place, or thing better than you found it? You know, it's called the Boundary Water Canoe Area. And it's between BWCA, it's a national park that only Minnesotans know about a few other people. It's the area between Ontario and Minnesota, hundreds of lakes attached by portages, a French word for hunk of land attaching lakes.

And it's no gasoline, it's all canoes. and it's as beautiful today as the day the Ojibwe first step foot there because the unspoken rule that you mentioned, leave the campsite better than how you found it. You know, somebody drops some trash, pack it out, don't complain. Cut up some firewood for people you'll never meet. It'll be there welcoming them to the new campsite. And for me, it's a core value summarized by campsite.

Yeah, you speak into a lot of large events, I had a large event out in Las Vegas. And the sound tech was named Vinnie. Grew up in New Jersey. What are the odds? Vinny from Jersey. And this guy was the sound tech. I mean, he was incredible.

He worked with Frank Sinatra, Tony, Benet, six times, four presidents. I mean, the guy's stories were phenomenal. Middle of our conversation, he lifts up his shirt. But he said to me, he said, I'm just curious, Mark, what are your core values? And I was stumped. I was like, you know, to be nice, leave the campsite better. He lifted up his shirt and on his army had three words tattoo. Respect, honor, loyalty.

These are my three core values. Whenever I have a difficult decision, I glance here and the decision becomes easy. And I was impressed. I mean, not that you have to lift up your arm and show a tattoo of your core value, values. But if somebody asked that question, you know, for people listening right now, if we did a full stop and said, okay, what are your core values? And you had to write them down. What would you write them down? Could you write them down? Could you state? Yeah, this is what I believe in. Here's my moral compass because those individuals, those companies, those teams whose core values

aren't just written in a handbook someplace or put on a poster, but are really understood that if you go up to people online on the line in a factory if you go to people in the set-top sales people you go to anybody and said what are our core values it's a high school student a teacher if they should be able to say what they are here's what we believe in and so minor you know loyalty and campsite and connect i believe we're putting this world to connect with others i believe that we should leave the campsite better than how we found it And I'm loyal. I'm having love with my wife, Susie.

We've been married for 43 years. I'm loyal to my friends. I'm loyal to Old Spice. I've been put it on since I've been 17. Old Spice. It works. So, I mean, and I know that the companies you work with Ryan, because I've heard this in some of your podcasts,

especially the young woman that work with Netflix, core values. The difference between when I set up, I shouldn't say this. But when I sit in the audience and I hear a CEO get out and they're talking about core values and people and they just, man, they just hit them. I buy 100 shares of that company no matter what. And that's my portfolio.

Really? Yeah. When I sit in the back of the room front row and I listen to the leadership team. And when they hit core values like they honest to God believe them and they live by them. And this is where we're going this year. And Roy Disney said the same thing. When your values are clear decisions are easy. And the biggest difference between top performing companies, top performing individuals,

is that they've spent some time to say, okay, what do I really believe in in this world? What's my guide? What's my moral compass? What would I write down if Vinny asked me that question, what are your core values? And as a leader, boy, you get promoted from, Top sales rep now you're good at that. So now you can manage people and lead a different skill set. I think that's your first step.

What got me here? And what are the values that I really have? You know, it seems so elementary. But I guarantee you that if you go up to nine out of ten people and ask them, what are your core values? Nine out of ten will stump like I did. One more topic I want to cover. I think it's important.

That's comparison. I believe you first felt this as a first grader when you looked in your cran box and you're really proud and happy until you looked to your next door neighbor in first grade and she had a lot more crayons than you with more color options. And before you know it, your brand new box of crayons didn't look as impressive anymore. And you learned a lesson on that day. Can you share that lesson now about who you should compare yourself against and what you learned on that day in first grade? Well, I mean, it's so true.

And that's how we raised our kids. Because, I mean, I had older brothers and sisters, and I always had junk drawer crayons. The cigar box with the gnarly crayons, they were left over. And when I went to school, mom sent me to school. mom sent me to school the box of the five primary, the big ones, five crayons. And it's the first time I'd ever had my own, never been used by another human being crayons. And I was just so excited. And when the Franciscan sister said, children, it's time to color, man, when I put those crayons on my desk, I was like king of the world.

And sure enough, that little girl sitting next to me reached inside her little leather attache case and pull out this shoe box size of crayeys, sharpener in the back. back, three decks. She had metallic colors, gold, silver, copper. It was just, and, and, uh, I should have been excited for her. I just said, oh, that's cool. Um, can I try the copper one? I should have shared, but instead I compared because she looked at me and said, I have 17 different shades of orange. And I'm thinking, I don't even have orange. And from an early on, early age, a lot of us start to count. Instead of asking if we can try the copper, we start counting. When you start counting, you realize you have less.

When you start to realize you have less, you think, well, maybe I deserve less because maybe I am less. And they have more and I don't. And life's not fair. And this sucks. And if I only had what they had, if I had their territory, if I had their team, if I had that opportunity, but I don't, so I won't. And we just limit ourselves.

And people go through their entire lives counting crayons and missing what they have and missing what's in front of them. And I mean, it's the Facebook thing, right? Somebody posts some pictures of them in Puerto Rico, and you're like, I went to Iowa. Des Moines, we saw our relatives. It's not the same. What do we try to tell our kids

what we've told them from day one is, stop counting crayons, just draw pictures. Leave a legacy. and because if you count grand, you can never win. Man, Mark, I could listen to all day. I love it. I really appreciate you being here. One last thing, you get probably peppered with advice all the time or questions,

life advice, career advice. You know, you took a chance earlier in your career, left a good job and went out on your own and had been doing it for decades now. And so I'm curious when you're speaking with somebody who's earlier in their career, perhaps they just graduated college. You know, there's a lot of uncertainty, there's unknowns. What are some general pieces of life slash career advice you give to people? I think it's for people to, that underestimate their own creativity,

that they look for the YouTube videos, they look for other people's material, they look for somebody else's story, that their life has meaning and purpose and the lessons that they've learned. I mean, one of the things I did early on is to have four columns. Column one are people in my life that I've had an experience with, family, friends, teachers, coaches, employees, employers. That's column one, the names of all these people. Column two are the experience that I had, my father, walking along the wall in the Vietnam Memorial. Column three is the lesson learned.

And then column four is the application to other people's lives. So instead of trying to find the answers in everybody else's life as far as what they've done and, you know, and stories about other people, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I tell a lot of stories about other people. I ever tell about myself, except for meat raffles and going to meat raffles. But it's, we are an observer in this world. And the greatest lessons that we learned are right in front of us, right? Of those people that I had impact in our life in some way. And why it's like Richard Wagner that just said good things to his client of doing her hair

had no idea that his impact. So you take all these different people's lives and you find out what did they teach me in that experience and how have I applied that to my life and how can other people apply it to their lives. So I think for any speaker, any presenter, any leader to tell stories based upon things that they've learned from others and how that can help you, the listener, is the biggest trick. In your book, Nice Bike, you end pretty much every section or chapter of the stories you tell with Nice Bike and then the person's name or the place in some cases. And I think I was curious, as the very first thing you say to me as we get together is nice voice. Is this just an ingrained

habit in you that when you meet somebody or you talk to somebody, you say you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you even have to think or it's just so natural now that you just nice bike everybody. You do have a good voice. Well, I appreciate that. Thank you. Your part, the first, I listen to your first podcast. Man, that guy's got a great voice. Let's see what he looks like. Um, I, I, I don't know. It's just, The greatest quote I've ever heard in my life came from Barbara Jordan. First black woman from the great state of Texas elected to Congress before blacks or women were elected from Texas. And you only point that out because she was first.

When you're first, you've earned that recognition. And her quote altered my life. She said, it's more important to be interested than interested. everybody's got a story. And if you take the time to acknowledge them and honor them and connect with them and find out their story, that it's about them and not you, you make a connection in this world. So to me, it's not a tool or a technique.

When it becomes a part of you, you just do it. It's like your default mode is the nice bike people. I grew up in Minnesota. People from New York. in LA, they're interesting. We're not interesting here. We're just cold. And so I always thought that to impress other people, I had to be really interesting. And when I heard that quote from her, that it wasn't about me, I don't have to be interesting, but if I take an interest in other people, and here's the test, here's your pop quiz test to take home, when the people out there are on an

airplane, when the people out there are at a cocktail party or a reception and you meet new people. and you take an interest in them, I guarantee you that nine out of ten people will answer every question you ask and one at a ten, like a Ryan Hawk will say, hey, how about you? What's your story?

I mean, you hear it all the time. It's in all your podcasts. You're parts of listening? Why is it that we don't get this one? And so I'm just more interested in other people because I talk on stage, but I don't have to talk when I'm off stage. So I want to find out somebody else's story. Well, thank you, ma'am. I've loved getting a chance to connect with you.

And I would certainly love to continue our dialogue as we both progress, as we both get to go back up on stages soon in front of people to bring us alive, man, to feel that interaction with the crowd is like the best, the head nods, the laughs, the eyes, like how good is that stuff? So I'm pumped to get back up there. I'm sure you are too. Is that bulletin board behind you? We're on Zoom call right now. Are those all thank you notes that people wrote to you? Yeah.

It's the, it's, you know, so some of it is like, is this guy full of himself? And I'll answer what I think of why those are important for me. So my door is right there. And as I walk in, as you know, like this stuff is hard. Like what we do at times is tough, like write books. and prepare for speeches and help leaders with really tough problems. And to me, the reason that I like to look at those every day is to, it's the fuel. It reminds me of why I do it because there are tough days and there are tough moments.

And yet you have five daughters. You're away from your five daughters. Yeah. Yeah. But when you see the impact you can have on people to me, it's, I call it the juice. It's the fuel. It's, it's, it's why I do it. because I love that feeling that you have,

you have a chance to impact people in a positive way and leave them better than when you found them and, you know, being interested in them, trying to help them being a good listener, all those things. So when people take the time to send you a note, yeah,

I like to, I like to read them. I like to reread them. And it helps me as I'm going through and trying to like figure out how to arrange a book or whatever it is that I'm more prepare for a podcast. It's like, I want to serve you well. And that takes time and effort.

So yeah, that's why I like to hang those up. Nine to ten people want to write a note, but they never do so that one person that does that actually follows through. There's a lot of power in that. I was quickly because I know we're on time. When we're all back in hotels again, I'm in rooms about 100 nights a year at hotels, speaking at events. Thankfully, Susie comes with me most times now, most of the time.

but I always leave a money behind for the housekeeper. Typically $5. It's not life changer. But I put down five bucks. And I started asking, in fact, I'll do it all the time now. I ask housekeepers when I go buy them, how many times do people leave money? Just curious. And 95% of the time they don't.

Hey, we don't think. We don't think twice about leaving a couple of bucks behind for the bartender, right? And we'll wait to see them pick it up so we can see their smile. To let them know that, hey, I put that there, pal. And I'm going to hang around until I see you pick it up. Just because I want you to know that somebody else didn't put that money down. A housekeeper at a hotel, we never see them. You put the money down, you check out, you never see them.

You never see the smile in their face. But you're going to be that one room that out of the 18 that they cleaned that day that left something behind. And the reason it ties into your bulletin board is because I saw a house cleaner. She was amazing. And her whole cart was full of cards like yours. People that took hotel stationary or a note and just wrote something sweeter because of what she did above and beyond to leave their room really nice. And she put them on her cart to remind herself every day that people do appreciate what I do. So next time you check out of hotel room, throw a five down.

Amen, I promise you. You got my word. That'll be a smell of later. Yes, I love it. Well, Marks, thanks so much, man. I certainly want to continue our dialogue as we both progress. The book's nice bike, nice bike.com. Go check your stuff out or just your YouTube videos, man.

You'll be entertained by that. And hopefully people listening get a chance to see you in person because you're in for a treat. you're in for a treat if you get a chance to be in the audience when Mark's speaking. So thanks so much, man. Thank you. Thanks, Ryan. It's been an honor. Awesome. Thank you. Mark is one of those people that I would love to sit down and simply listen to him tell stories for days. I'm so grateful that he invested his time to be with me today. A few takeaways from my notes. When he discussed storytelling and the fact that great stories are unpredictable, they have a hook, and they have a cast of characters, and you play the role of those characters. And in his case, you even

use their voice. And if you watch some of his speeches on YouTube, you'll see him do this so well. Remember, unpredictable, have a hook and a cast of characters. And then the four columns, the piece of advice you'd have for others, right? In those four columns, write down people you've had experiences with, experiences that you've personally had, lessons learned, and the application to the lives of others, and that could be the basis for the messaging you share. And then the advice for a wedding toast or even a eulogy, one, it's not about you. to make them story driven, and they don't have to be grand stories.

They can be as something as simple as he liked to eat the dessert first. And then remember the power of threes. That's how we think. That's how we remember better. So speak in the power of threes. Once again, I want to say thank you to you for being a loyal listener and continuing to spread the message by telling a friend or, You should listen to this episode of The Learning Leader Show with Mark Sharon Brock.

It will help you become a better leader and connect better with others. And because you continue to do that and write reviews and Apple Podcast and rate the show, hopefully five stars, you are continuing to give me the opportunity to do what I love on a daily basis. And for that, I will forever be grateful. Thank you. So much. Talk you soon. Can we?