The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk - 494: Mayor Eric Adams - Authenticity, Honesty, & Changing From Within... A Conversation With The Mayor Of New York City

Episode Date: October 9, 2022

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12  https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Mayor Eric Adams has served the people of New York City as an NYPD officer, State Senator, Brooklyn Borough President, and now as the 110th Mayor of the City of New York. Notes: When Eric was 15, he was beaten by a police officer. "Instead of saying woe is me, I said why not me?" He became a police officer... Mentor, Reverend, and Civil Rights Leader, Herbert Daughtry, encouraged him to change the system from within. If you have a problem with a system, try to change it from within. Instead of complaining about it, do something about it. Take action. A mindset shift: "There is something I'm supposed to learn from this." – Shifting our minds from blaming and complaining to asking ourselves, "What can I learn from this?" Mayor Adams became President of a Black officers association before founding his own group, 100 Blacks in Law Enforcement Who Care. The New York Times has called Mayor Adams, "The mayor who never sleeps." - He's known to be up early working and go out late at night… Including going to clubs like Zero Bond (a private club) and not being afraid to take pictures with fellow New Yorkers while holding a vodka/soda in hand… Being perfectly imperfect. Authenticity, being genuine. Mayor Adams goes out to clubs and drinks with his fellow New Yorkers. He doesn't hide it. So many politicians put up a facade. An image that isn't real. Part of his appeal is that he's real, he's human… We all want that. Cleaning up his diet – After 9/11, he relied on comfort food (quarter pounder or a bucket of KFC). One day in 2016, he woke up blind in his left eye and suffered nerve damage in his feed, which could have led to amputation. His diabetes was killing him. He switched to a plant-based diet and lost 35 pounds. (and wrote a book about it) "I would rather be a person that is authentic and make mistakes than robotic and be a fake," Adams says, sitting on the couch in his office. "Folks are tired of just these terrible fake leaders. They're always trying to live up to someone. Always." What does Mayor Adams think about those who use the phrase, "Defund the Police?" "They don't get it." "After protests, you must do something to protect. You cannot simply protest, you have to protect." "All I can say, have your haters become your waiters when you sit down at the table of success."  

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That's storyworth.com slash leader. Welcome to The Learning Leader Show, presented by Insight Global. I am your host, Ryan Hawk. Thank you so much for being here. Text, Hawk to 66866 to become. part of Mindful Monday. You, along with tens of thousands of other learning leaders from all over the world, will receive a carefully curated email for me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right. You'll also receive details about how my book, The Pursuit of Excellence,

will help you become a more effective leader. Text, Hawk, to 66866. Now, on to tonight's featured leader. Wow, this is so good. Mayor Eric Adams has served the people of New York City as an NYPD officer, state senator, Brooklyn Borough president, and now as the 110th mayor of the city of New York. So good. During this conversation, we discuss why the New York Times called him the mayor who never sleeps and the importance of being with the people you're leading. And then he shares how he handles being criticized by people in his own party. Then we talked about the value of authenticity and being real and how to treat every situation as a learning moment, including the mistakes you make in public. Ladies and Edelman,

this one is so good. It's Mayor Eric Adams. Mayor Eric Adams, so great to have you here on the Learning Leader Show. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you. I always enjoy being around lifelong learners. You know, I always believe I heard it somewhere. Some people go through life. Some people grow through life. I like to believe I'm going to continue to try to grow. Well, speaking of life, I want to go back to when you're 15 years old. I know this was a big moment in your life.

And you're arrested and beaten by police officers. And I can imagine, I can only imagine the type of impact that would have on somebody. What happened after that day and how did that change the trajectory? of your life. And it's interesting because issues or incidents can break you a building. And I watch people that have negative encounters and it breaks them and they never really get back on track. And probably what kept me on track was when I came home from the precinct the next day,

after going to a juvenile facility, my mom sat down in that small, modest kitchen. And she stated that, baby, you're going to go through some dark moments in your life. And you have to make the determination if they are burials or plantings. And you have to learn how to turn pain into purpose. She was not aware of the beating. She knew of the arrest and she was speaking to that. But it just made me really think. And I just decided that that was not going to be a burial,

it was going to be a planting. and it really just took me in another direction. I read that a mentor of yours, Reverend and Civil Rights Leader Herbert Daughtry, encouraged you to change this system from within. How did you go on to do that? I became aware of Reverend Daughtry after a young man named Clifforda was killed.

It was a 10-year-old child shot in the back by an officer named Officer Shea. And that was the first time Reverend Daughtry was on my radar because Cliffie Glover was shot blocks from my house. And later in life, he was involved in an incident with a businessman named Arthur Miller. And he was killed by police with a chokehold. And he started a march and a call for justice because of that. And I joined an organization that Reverend Herbert Dortry created call. Black United Front. It was a sort of an umbrella group for various organizations to come together.

During that time, we were dealing with many police issues, negative encounters with communities, and one of them involved a young man named Randolph Evans. He was shot by a housing police officer. And shortly after that, Reverend Daughtry brought together a group of young men and told us where to go to the law enforcement. community and fight from within. This was after a series of students after Randy Randolph Evans and others just continued to happen. Some years passed by of protests. And he said, we can't only protest from the outside,

must protest from the inside. And I reluctantly went inside. I was a computer geek at the time. I wanted to be a computer programmer. And instead, you know, sometimes you choose life and think God choose for you. So you become a police officer. It's not like you only did it for a little bit too.

You got in and then you got promoted. It feels like people saw the leadership qualities within you. I imagine you had to work really hard and you're getting promoted. What was your career like as a police officer and what did you do to get promoted to captain and to be known as a leader within the group? And that's interesting when you stated about working hard because I had to, I was diagnosed or learned I was dyslexic when I got into college. I did not know I was dyslexic throughout my K-12 experience. In fact, I was bullied because I was called a dumb student.

And I stumbled onto my dyslexia when I was in college. A young person was listening to a video in another aisle in the library. And I heard and I took it out and looked at it myself and discovered that I was dyslexic. And so I went from a D student to be a student to be in the library. on the Dean's list once I got the help that I needed. But the significant part about it is that I knew that I would never beat you with brilliance. I'm going to beat you with endurance. I'm not going to surrender. I'm going to continue to fight. And that, what I thought was encouraged, that dark moment of not being able to learn was not. It turned out to be a blessing. It turned out

that I knew I had to work harder to figure out how to exist in a society where the norm was not dyslexic. Being dyslexic, as you know, is not that you're dumb. You learn differently, but the society is not built around learning differently. So I had to adjust to what society presented. And that's what I did in the police department. I studied hard. But at the same time, I started an organization called 100 blacks in law enforcement who care. And we wanted to fight for public safety and justice in the police department. And we did that. We were officers in the various law enforcement agencies where we spoke out against

anti-police practices or bad police practices. But we also spoke out about crime. This was during the crack era when crime was serious. In New York, we were dealing with almost over 2,000 homicides a year and 98,000 robberies and felonious assaults. And so we had a combination for things we wanted to do. When you see or hear other politicians, even a lot in your own party, say or utter the phrase, defund the police. What do you think? They just don't get it. And they're speaking from the sterilized environment of their executive chambers. They're not speaking on the ground. That is not

what everyday New Yorkers want. And it's sort of disappointed when you think about it, that we have turned into a country, in my opinion, where our emphasis and focus are on the small number of individuals who participate in criminal, dangerous, and illegal behavior. I think our country in general and our city specifically, we have turned our backs on everyday innocent New Yorkers that are doing the right thing.

If you do an analysis of the bills and laws that were pegged, in the last few years, you see laws and bills that are passed for those who commit crimes and do violent things. You cannot point to a bill that points to those who are the victims of these crimes. Like, what do we do when the primary breadwinner is murdered and leave a family behind? We're not stepping in at all and stated even something simple as simple as we will pay your mortgage or rent for the year so that you can just normalize this new reality. That takes place nowhere, and someone needs to advocate for innocent people, and I'm going to do that. When you were running for mayor, I saw a quote who you said, you're not really running against a candidate.

You were really running against a movement. What did you mean by that? Well, it's very interesting that I believe that there are co-conspirators to the realities that we're facing right. now. And that's the far, far left and the far far right. I believe that the two of them don't realize, but they're creating the environment that many of us are facing. The far, far left believe that no matter for the most far, no matter who carries a gun, they should not be held accountable if they use it or they carry it. They should be basically allowed to continue what they're doing. And the far right believes everyone should carry a gun.

When we look at the ruling under Supreme Court, I think it slaps in the face of public safety. And I'm a responsible gun on. I believe that Americans have the right to carry a gun, but there should be some real restrictions on that right. I'm sure our constitutional forefathers, when they made that decision, they were not thinking about some of the artillery that we're seeing right now. and we should have a real responsibility with that right. But that is what I believe I'm fighting against. I'm fighting against those that want to divide our party. And I just don't subscribe to the theory.

When you look over my left shoulder, you see that flag that has blue and red together. I don't think we should divide the flag or divide the country by blue and red states. There's only one state that I know, and that's called the United States. It feels like when I travel the country, and I do quite frequently for speaking gauges and other things, it feels like a lot of people are really aligned with what

you're saying. And I'm in alignment with you. I would say certainly not on the far end of either spectrum, but more in the middle. And I had Governor Charlie Baker on who seems like a moderate Republican. You're more, I would say, a moderate Democrat. It feels like more and more people, at least when I'm out in the world, are aligned with you, yet what we see at least, it feels like online in the media is so much of the far right or far left, which most of us don't identify with. And I believe your assessment and your analysis

is so accurate. I told my team when I was running for mayor and I told them that when I'm hearing on the ground is what I'm feeling that people want proper police and justice. There's simple things that they want. And my team pushed back at first until they went and took a poll, and then the reality was right there in the poll numbers. And I knew it was my task to allow people not to hear me, but to feel me, to feel that I saw myself as one of them. I just want an environment where we can raise healthy children and families. And I think that we have betrayed the countless number of New Yorkers and Americans by not doing that. I use this This quote all the time from archbishop Desmond Tutu.

We spend a lifetime pulling people out of the river. No one goes upstream and prevent them from falling in in the first place. We're downstream city and a downstream country. All we do is pull people out of the river. It's time to go upstream. That's when you're going to find the average Americans upstream. We wanted to make sure we can stop growing people, pushing people, and watching people falling in the river.

do you get um is it hard for you within your own party at times though especially in new york i could see as some would call those all the coastal elites you know the things you hear online do you do do you get any uh i don't know if i'd call it fighting but disagreements or people trying to bring you down from within your own party yes you do because uh sometimes uh people want to live in the universe of idealism but idealism collides with realism it's idealistic uh to say that people should sleep wherever they want, sleeping on the streets and in encampments and in tents and in cardboard boxes. But during the month of January, when I took office, I went out and visited those locations. And I know what I saw, I saw human waste inside those tents. I saw drug paraphernalia.

I saw people dealing with medical and emotional issues, psychological issues, did not have the medication they needed, stale food, not access to clean clothing or shower. Idealism says they can live on the streets and there's no big issue. Realism says that that's inhumane. And I refuse to accept that. And so when we put in place a humane way of moving people into shelters and wraparound services, what we call safe havens, there was a large pushback of advocates who felt as though I was being inhumane by telling people you couldn't live on the streets when we were walking past these people every day. And so what you have to do, if your heart is telling it's right, you have to ignore the noise and look at your North Star and be focused on that North Star.

My North Star was to make sure people stop falling in the river. The other thing about you, I think, is an authenticity, a genuine guy. The New York Times has called you the mayor who never sleeps. You get up early, you work hard. You stay out late. You go out. You go out to clubs. I read a story that said people told you to put the Titos and soda down when you were getting your picture taken with fellow New Yorkers.

And you're like, no, it's fine. I can hold on to this drink while I'm getting my picture taken. So you seem like a guy who's not afraid to be real. You're not, there's no facade of like I have to be a certain person. Can you tell me more about how you have the security to do that? And you know what? I love that example. Right.

You know, I don't want you to be a fake. I drink Titos and club. So what am I going to do? Hide it until one day someone sees it and says, oh, wait a minute, we caught you drinking a Titos in club. No, I don't. And there's some days I enjoy a nice cigar and a single malt scotch. You know, I think Americans don't want a leader that could only bear the weight of the city.

They want a leader that they can enjoy having a beer with. We're tired of the pretentious of false images. As I say, one of my quotes, and they probably are a lot out there, but one of my quotes is that I'm perfectly imperfect. This is a perfectly imperfect city, and perfection is not the issue, it's dedication. And when people want to judge that I enjoy going to visit my nightlife establishments, so I can see the workers in those establishments and talk to them and let them know that this is not a nine to five city, and I'm not going to be a nine to five mayor.

This is a city that never sleeps, so I should not be caught taking a nap. I need to be reaching out to every resident in the city. If they're doing midnight hours at work as a nurse, as the police officer, they need to see their mayor. If they're doing four to 12s, they need to see their mayors. And I need to support all the systems in the city. And yes, it's unorthodox. Yes, I don't fit into the box. You know, I'm probably the first ball-headed mayor that you've seen in the city of New York.

So, you know, I don't fit into the patterns of what people. believe. But you know what? New Yorkers don't fit into the patterns. Americans don't fit into the patterns. We have days when we are ultra-conservative, days when we are ultra-liberal. We think differently based on the topic, and we should not allow people to put us in a box. That's uncomfortable to the decision-makers, I believe. It feels like you are the exact guy I would want to vote for for president. Seriously, that's partially why I wanted to do this. Is that something you think about? I can run the city from the country from New York. I enjoy being the mayor and impacting on the lives of people.

You know, I tell you, Ryan, it is said all the time that the mayor of the city of New York is the second most difficult job in politics. You know my response? When does the hard part start? There's not been one day when I had been overwhelmed, stressed out. There have been difficult moments to lose police officer Maura and Rivera to watch some of the violence that we're fighting against to the uncertainty of our economics. And there's difficult moments. But I do not feel as though this is a hard job. This is the job that you get up,

you do the best you can, and the universe is going to decide the rest. That's not my job to decide those things outside my span of control. I wake up every day committed to the people of the city, and I give my all. And I'm not going to leave one drop on the field when these four years are over, I'm going to leave everything I have on the field. You know, credit goes to the man in the mirror, in the arena, who's actually in the arena. It doesn't go to the critic, doesn't go to those who are naysayers or who credit, the doer of deeds. It goes to the man whose face is full of dust, sweat and blood, but it's actually in arena.

If Roosevelt said that then, it's true right now. I'm a man in arena. It feels like an exhausting job, though, man. It was 24-7. Like, it really is. There's no real days off. No, it's not. It's seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

But I love every moment of it. How do you have the energy to do it? I mean, like I said, I feel like most people at some point would just, you know, and it feels like you don't do that. It's a combination. You know, sometimes we think of our physical exhaustion, but we fail to realize that that's driven. by our mental exhaustion.

If you allow yourself to be absorbed by every critic and every person who criticizes you, you are going to be exhausted both physically and mentally. And I don't. I wake up every morning, my routine is clear.

To have that green smoothie, meditate, do that exercise, and start the day and get ready for the day that's in front of me. And when you look at it, when you've gone through so many crisis and tragedies and ups and downs, you realize that there is a flow to a crisis. You don't stay in it forever. People don't see themselves through crises. They see themselves at that moment.

When I struggled with vision laws due to advanced stages of diabetes, the doctor said I would be blind in a year and I was going to lose some of my fingers and toes because of the permanent nerve damage and I had an ulcer. I decided not to sit back and say, how do I live with diabetes? and found how do you reverse diabetes and going to a whole food plant-based diet allowed me to reverse my vision loss, my nerve damage, you know, lose the weight that I've been trying to lose for a long time, and I feel fine. But that was a lesson. Remember what I said, that mommy told me at 15, maybe you're going to be in dark places. They're either burials or plantings. With that lesson, instead of saying that at dark places, I didn't say woe is me. I said, why not me? If I can get diabetes,

He's done it. There's a way I can get rid of it at the same time. You sound like you've also done a great job of surrounding yourself by great mentors, other great leaders, your who, your board of advisors sounds like it's really good. Working with your team leading up to this has been just awesome. When you think about all of the great leaders that you've interacted with over the course of your career, what are some of the commonalities you found among leaders who have sustained excellence over an extended period of time?

And that's a great question because consistency. And don't beat yourself up because you stumble and fail. In fact, fail is the first act in learning. You're supposed to fail. If you're not failing, then you are stationary. Creating that safe culture to try something new and learn within that is the answer to your question. The Wright brothers didn't take flight the first time. They failed over and over again.

those who can push through the failures, those who can continue to go. I strongly believe on the other side of that failure is a success you're looking for. Far too many people take the failure as that they have failed. No, you're just going through the process of learning, like a lifelong learning, reading books of other leaders and learning from what they have done. And those common denominators are clear. I don't care who it is. If it's Dr. King, if his mother Teresa, no matter who it is, they've gone through some sad, down moments, some dark moments, but they pushed through those dark moments.

And I think all of them saw through the dark moments and realized it was only a barrier. Once only a planting, I should say, once you know. And Ryan, what I've learned the most during my darkest moments, I ask myself the question. there's something I'm supposed to learn right now. Absorb this moment. Because if you just wallow in the darkness, you're going to fail to see the lesson. There is no dark moment that's not filled with a lesson.

There's something I'm supposed to learn right now and just absorb it and go with it and you're learning. Where does that perspective come from? That seems so like you've done a lot of work on yourself and you've probably had help to from others. I have to imagine, like, where does that come from to be able to be this? Is it self-actualized? I'm not sure.

Comfort in your own skin. There's something I've got to learn from this in the moments of when it's really hard because a lot of us, we feel sorry for ourselves, we complain, and we eventually get through it, and maybe we look back, maybe we don't, but it feels like you're actually able to do this in the moment. Well, I think it's a number of things. Number one, there was an old soulful, soulful ballet. If you take a close look at my face, you'll see my smile is out of place and you'll see the tracks of my tears.

We often judge ourselves by others, but if you look closely, people are hurting. Yes, they dress up their pain with a nice car, a nice suit, or even a title or a certificate or degree that hangs on their wall or a company that they own. But if you look closely, you will see that we're all scared. We're all afraid. all third grade children trying to figure this out. And once you understand that no matter who's standing in front of you

or who's making a decision that would deal with the immediate parts of your life, that they're going through the same fear, do my wife still loves me? Am I balding? Am I able to still deal with the challenge in front of me? Trust me. Everyone has those issues.

And once you know that, you start to realize that you're no different than anyone else, no matter what they're acquired or what you have not acquired, no matter when you drop to ball or no matter when you made the mistake, you just start to understand that, you know, as the quote says, a bend in the road is not the end of the road. All you have to do is make the turn. And every day I'm just making the turn. Your team and I have talked a lot about how well read you are and how we might do some learning leader book club stuff in the future, which I would love to, by the way, given your schedule, you know, you're back to back to back 24-7.

When making the time to read seems like it's very important to you. And I talk and work with leaders from all different industries and a lot of them say, you don't understand. I don't have time. I don't have time. Well, I think the mayor of New York City has to be one of the busiest, if not the busiest person in the world. What do you do to ensure you're working on yourself, you're educating yourself,

you're reading, you're making sure you're not just fighting fires all day, but you're trying to get better. I love that. That is a great question. Now I know why your podcast is so popular. That's a great question. Think about it for a moment. As I always tell the team, a pilot gets into the cockpit, and before he takes off, he's checking his instrument panels. He's making sure that everything is there. He's not ever going to say, well, I'm in a rush. I don't have time. I'm going to take off. He has a checklist, no matter how many times he flies, he goes through that checklist. And so making sure that you are taking care of yourself before you take flight every day is crucial. You have to have time to do that.

There's a reason when you hear the stewardess say if cabin pressure drops and the oxygen mask falls down, place the mask on yourself before you place someone else, you're not good to yourself. going to be good to others. And so if I need to read those 10 pages a night or if I have to get an audio book and walk around as I brush my teeth in the morning or exercise or sit there on my stationary bike, I'm going to do that. I'm going to have to constantly refuel myself with the right energy. And so we focus on the calories we consume when we place food in our mouths. but our brains are also places that we feed ourselves. And so some people are dealing with intellectual obesity

because they consume just junk food all day, every day, but what they read and hear, I want something nutritional, and that's why I try to find the right items that's going to nourish my brain, as well as the right food that I'm going to eat, that's going to nourish my body. That's so good, man.

We have no excuse. If you're doing it, we have no excuse, none of us. One more. Let's say you're meeting with somebody who's a bit earlier in their career mayor, they're 25, is 26, maybe they're recent college grad. They want to leave a debt in the world.

They want to do some good, but they're not really sure yet what they want to do. What are some general pieces of life-slash-care advice you'd give to that person? A positive affirmation, learn self-care, breathing exercise. It amazes me how some of the basics,

things we have, we are not teaching our children in school, which we're starting to do here in New York. Breathing is so crucial. We do it every day, but probably 90% of New Yorkers have never been taught, or Americans or human beings have never been taught how to breathe. Why breath is important. Learn how to meditate. Learn how to find an outlet. Learn how to just believe. You know, it's almost hard to believe over 20 something years ago. I stated that I was going to be mayor January 1st, 22. And I probably took a long time from me, keep standing over and over again before people realized that, hey, maybe this guy is not on medication.

He's not crazy. You know, maybe he's actually going to become the mayor. And it was because I believe why everyone was saying I couldn't. I remember mom giving me this one word that I put on my mirror. I-M-P-O-S-I-B-L-E, impossible. And she's told me to say it, and I said, impossible. And then she said, baby, say the first two letters alone. And I said, I.

Second letter was M. And she said, now say the word. I said, possible. She said, that's right. I am possible. impossible is for others. Eric, say I am possible. That's all I know.

I'm possible. And that's what I tell people who are starting out in their career. I am possible. And remind yourself that every day. Thank you so much, Mayor Eric Adams. It's my pleasure to have this conversation. And I would love to continue our dialogue

as we both progress. Man, this was a lot of fun. Thank you. Good to see you, Ryan. Take care. Thank you. All right. Initially, when I, started the Learning Leader show. I wasn't that attracted to talk with politicians. But since then,

I'm trying to be open-minded. And when Governor Charlie Baker was first pitched as a potential person to have my show and now Mayor Eric Adams, I'm really glad that I've had a chance to speak with public servants like Governor Baker and now Mayor Adams because it actually gives me great hope. we have some amazing leaders that are serving the people. And in this case, Mayor Adams in New York City. I really enjoyed that conversation and find him to be a fascinating guy. And his team called me right after we finished. And this will not be the last time we talked.

So more in store, maybe some in-person stuff in New York. But first, a few takeaways from my notes. What Mayor Adams learned from civil rights leader Herbert Daltry, if you have a problem with a system, try to change it from within. Instead of complaining about it, do something about it. Take action, and that's what Mayor Adams did when he became an NYPD police officer. The mindset, quote, there is something I'm supposed to learn from this. Shifting our minds from blaming and complaining and asking ourselves,

what can I learn from this? I must learn something from the situation, whether I'm making a mistake or I'm going through adversity. And then being perfectly imperfect, authenticity, being real. Mayor Adams goes out to clubs, drinks with his fellow New Yorkers. He doesn't hide it. When someone has to take a picture and tells him to put the drink down, he holds it up. So many politicians put up this facade. It's an image that isn't real, and he chooses to not do that.

And I think that's part of the appeal, part of the charm, is that we sense he's an authentic guy. And I think as leaders, we all should strive to be more like that. Once again, I want to say thank you so much for continuing to spread the message and telling a friend or two, hey, you should listen to this episode of The Learning Leader Show with Mayor Eric Adams. I think he'll help you become a more effective leader. And because you continue to do that and you continue to write reviews and rate the show, hopefully five stars on Apple Podcast. You are giving me the opportunity to do what I love on a daily basis.

Like have a conversation with the mayor of New York City. And for that, I will always be grateful. Thank you so, so much. Talk you soon. Can't wait.