The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk - 533: Jon Gordon - Elevate Your Mind, Unlock Your Power, Heal Your Soul (The One Truth)

Episode Date: June 25, 2023

Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of your fellow learning leaders and receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12   https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Consistency creates your future. Show up each day and do the work. Sounds simple, but it's much harder in practice. Consistency is not sexy, but it builds trust and it creates your future. T.U.N.E. -  T = Trust and truth  U = Unite with love N = Neutralize the negativity. "I do not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." - Gandhi E = Elevate your thinking. With gratitude, optimism, and belief How to handle imposter syndrome - One sheet of paper. On one side write your negative thoughts. On the other side write words of encouragement. Again, this sounds basic, but it's been proven to work. Navigate the Roller Coaster of our Mind: Take on our challenges in life with confidence and power instead of fear and insecurity. Recognize & Overcome the Five Ds of Negative Thought: Doubt, Distortion, Discouragement, Distraction, and Division. The root of the Greek word for anxious means "to separate and divide" When we are anxious, we feel divided. The key is to move towards "oneness". Tune into More Positive Thoughts: Jon explains a revolutionary idea that the brain is an antenna, and we can elevate our minds with proven strategies. For example, we can't be stressed and thankful at the same time. When we appreciate, we elevate. Override Fear with Love: Let love (the ultimate driver of grit) be the driving force behind our work and vocation, unlocking new levels of determination, devotion and success. Improve Mental Health & Relationships: Move from disconnection, loneliness and isolation to connection, healing, and wholeness. Whether you're a recent graduate, executive, artist, parent, engineer, teacher, spouse, athlete or coach, once you know The One Truth, you'll see how it impacts leadership, teamwork, mindset, performance, relationships, addictions, social media, anxiety, mental health and your overall quality of life. Bad teams = nobody leads. Average teams = coaches lead. Elite teams = players lead Change management -- People follow the leader first and the vision second. People won't care about your vision if you don't care about them. "Thoughts are magnetic. What we think about we attract." Goals: "It's not your goals that will lead to your success but your commitment to the process." "The best teams don't focus on winning championships. They focus on being champions. This leads to championships." "When leaders become focused on the fruit instead of the root and worry about the outcome instead of the process of developing team members, they may survive in the short run, but they will not thrive in the long run." "As a leader, it is so important that your words equal your actions. It is imperative that you make sure that you go through a self-evaluation process on an almost daily basis to make sure that your actions are in line with your words. You must do what you say and say what you do." "There's a difference between culture and having a theme for the year. A theme does not equal culture. Too many schools/org move from theme to theme instead of building a culture. Utilize a theme as a tool to help you build a great culture." "They asked a bunch of ninety-five-year-olds if they could do it all over again and live their life again what would they do differently. The three things that almost all of them said were: (1) They would reflect more. Enjoy more moments. More sunrises and sunsets. More moments of joy. (2) They would take more risks and chances. Life is too short not to go for it. (3) They would have left a legacy. Something that would live on after they die." 00:35 - Lessons from Athletics 05:29 - Struggling With Adversity As a Child 07:47 - Building a Life-Changing Team from The Energy Bus 15:08 - Fear That Comes With Imposter Syndrome 20:54 - Transition from Self-Talk to Action 31:05 - How to React to Skeptics 36:14 - View Life as a Movie 40:25 - Leadership Qualities That Are Repetitive 44:18 - Advice for the Younger Generation 47:48 - Early is On Time

Now, don't focus on the fear. Don't worry about the outcome or fear the outcome. Focus on loving what you get to do. Loving your client. Loving the competition and the battle every day of what you're going through. And the minute you're in the love of it and the competing and the drive and you're not worried about the outcome, but you're loving the process, you'll love what the process produces. Welcome to The Learning Leaders Show presented by Insight Global. I am your host, Ryan Hawk.

Thank you so much for being here. Text, Hawk to 666866 to become part of Mindful Monday. You, along with tens of thousands of other learning leaders from all over the world, will receive a carefully curated email for me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right. You will also receive details about how my book, The Pursuit of Excellence, will help you become a more effective leader. text, Hawk to 66866. Now on tonight's feature Leader the Great John Gordon is back, author of 28 books, including multiple bestsellers, the energy bus, the carpenter, the power of

positive leadership, and its most recent is called the one truth. During this conversation, we discuss a specific tool for overcoming imposter syndrome. And then how to get clear on your life's purpose. And John shares a cool story about what he said to the Notre Dame lacrosse team right before they won their first national championship this year. Really neat. Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy John Gordon. John Gordon, it is so great to have you back on the Learning Leaders Show.

Welcome, ma'am. Ryan, great to be with you. You played college lacrosse. You were a three-year starter, Cornell, also played football in high school. multi-sport athlete. I love sports for what it's done for me and now as a dad, what I see it doing for my children. What are some of the biggest learnings and takeaways you took from being a college of a cross player? I definitely learned grit because nothing came easy to me. I had to work really hard for everything I had in sports. Being a high school athlete, I always had to work for my starting

position. I would train all summer getting ready for the football season. And then I would get injured, little hamstring or an ankle or something and then have to fight my way back. I always had to fight. It was like they would always give the other guy the starting position and make me earn it. They never gave me the starting position and had other people earn it. But I really believe it. It made me learn to be tough. It made me learn to overcome my adversity, my challenges, to keep going, to believe in myself more than other people believed in me. Because Ryan, when I wrote the energy bus, rejected by over 30 publishers, told, We don't get it.

What's an energy bus? Told, give up. It's not going to happen by my agent. But because I had been told no before, because I've been told I wasn't good enough before, because I was told that you're not going to play lacrosse in college. You're not going to play sports in college. And then I did and became a Division I athlete

and started for three years. I learned, don't believe the naysayers. Like, don't listen to what they have to say. Listen to yourself. Listen to your heart. Trust in a greater power. And go for it. And so I look back on all of that.

And I tell college athletes all the time, like, I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't play sports. Because sports taught me so much. And it taught me about life. And it prepared me for life. It prepared me for the rejection and the adversity and the naysayers and the negativity. It taught me about culture and leadership and teamwork. I'll never forget, Richie Moran, my coach. He's the legendary lacrosse coach at Cornell University.

He passed away this past year. the Hall of Fame is named after him. This was my coach. This is who recruited me, who brought me there. And as a senior, he turned to me in Mike Levine and he said to us, I need you to lead. You weren't named captains by the team because it was a popularity choice. You weren't named captains, but I need you guys to be leaders on this team. He told us, you don't need a title to be a leader. I need you to lead. Mike Levine is one of the top three people in CA Sports now. He's the top head of CA Sports with Howie. this guy is an incredible leader. I now teach leadership and do this work.

And it's just funny when I look back on that. We weren't named captains, but he taught us to be the leader. So those are just some lessons I learned along the way, and I'm so grateful that I get to play sports. One last thing, Ryan, I went to go speak to Notre Dame the other day before they were going to play for the national championship, or actually the final four. I was in town speaking at the purpose summit.

And in my mind, all of the side I said, oh, maybe the lacrosse team is here. So I reached out to Kevin Corrigan, who I know, he's the head coach. They've been there for 35 years. Kevin even came to one of our power positive leadership trainings a few years ago. And I said, hey, you guys still in town? Love to come by and say a few words. He's like, yeah, we're here.

We're at practice. Come on over. So right after I'm done speaking, my daughter was speaking as well, we ran over to the field. They were just finishing a practice. They got into a huddle. I went up to him and I gave him a few words about loving the battle, loving the competition, Love cast out fear. Don't allow all the fear, the worry, the expectation, the crowd, big final four, a stadium full of people. You've lost this game in the past. Just love the competition, love the moment, and fear has no power over you because love cast out fear. And that was my main core of the message. And man, they got it. They win in the semifinals. They win the finals. They win the championship. It was an incredible thing. That wasn't my talk. Of course not. But to be around the that moment to be able to share that. And Kevin Corrigan was just in an article in U.S.

lacrosse magazine. And they said, what was the difference? For him, you were calm. He said, he said, John Gordon came and talked about love, talked about not overcoming fear. I mean, about overcoming fear, about not letting fear get the best of you and just loving the battle, loving the guys you're with, loving the competition. It was so cool that he said that. So to be a part of that in sports, how sports intersects leadership in life. That was actually one of the coolest moments of my life as being there, knowing I wasn't supposed to be there, saying a few words and then seeing this team won a championship and knowing, again, just a few words in a shift in perspective from fear to love made a difference. Wow, that's awesome. You write about in the

One Truth, your latest book about eighth grade struggling as a pitcher, your dad's there, right? Your parents kind of tough on you. Can you take us back to that moment when you're struggling early on and how that shaped your character? Yeah, the message I share with the, the Notre Dame team comes from the new book, The One Truth, and it's what I write about, because it was my own personal experience where I'm on the pitching mound, and I keep hitting the batter, like one batter, then the second batter I get hit, I hit, then the third batter I hit. Finally, the fourth batter is getting up there, just shaking because he knows what's coming next. And my dad is giving me a dirty look the entire time and just so mad that I'm hitting the

batters, and he's staring at me, it's like the death stare. My dad was a New York City cop, undercover narcotics. And so he had this death stare. And I'm terrified. And that was a defining moment in my life because, like, I still remember to this day, obviously, a little traumatizing. And I wanted to be mentally tough from that. You know, I wanted to be mentally tough. I don't have to go through that. And I suffered with depression when I was younger, even when I was older. I dealt with anxiety and fear and stress and all the issues that so many people face today with mental health challenges. So I went through that. And so growing up, I would say, in that environment, grip with a lot of love, but there definitely was a lot of expectation.

And as an athlete, I got my recognition of my praise and my love through performing well and being a great athlete. And so from there, you know, that's how I went through life, seeking recognition, seeking praise, wanting to be great. You get love from performing. Like, hey, after the game, everyone's a lot happier and cheering you on when you perform well. When you don't perform well, you're not really getting a lot of cheers. You're not getting as much love. I'll never figure my son was a competitive tennis player and ended up playing a couple years at Clemson University, his freshman sophomore year before deciding not to play anymore. But for years growing up, he would say, you know, Dad, you always say it's not about winning. It's just about competing.

You always say that, but guess what? We're a lot happier when we win, aren't we? And I couldn't argue with them because we are. So no matter what we do, even though we say that, we are happier when we win. You mentioned earlier about the energy bus. It kind of puts you on the map. It's still a bestseller to this day. Could you have ever envisioned building the John Gordon companies like your entire empire off of what started from a single book? I mean, that's what blows my mind is that you've built all of this. And since then what, 26 books? 28 totaled out. 28 and counting. And but it started there. And then a whole company, I've had people email. me, hey, I hire the John Gordon companies. They're going to come down and work, do all different types of work with us. I'm like, oh, is John going? No, no. It's members of his team. It's a full-blown operation you have going. And that part is inspiring to me. It's really cool. Could you have ever envisioned building a giant business off of the back of that book? No. And to be honest,

I don't want to be a giant business. I want to be a team of people that goes out and makes a difference and shares the principles and practices that make great leaders great, that make great teams great, and that help with mindset. We're really focused on mindset, leadership, and teamwork. We really thought a lot about what is our core message. Why are we here? What are we truly meant to do as a team as an organization? But I could not have imagined, you know, the energy bus was something that came to me on a walk, the idea. And next thing you know, I sit down, I start writing it with divine inspiration. I write this book in three and a half weeks. and I know it's a book that I'm truly meant to write

and it gets rejected by over 30 publishers as you know and I don't know how I'm going to make it. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what my future holds. I think I'm going to give up because if it doesn't make it, I got to go find a job because I had just sold my restaurants. And so now I'm focusing on writing and speaking, sold my restaurants.

I got a little money that's carrying us after I sold the restaurant. And by the way, I second mortgage my home and $20,000 in credit cards to open up this restaurant. So it wasn't like this restaurant was given to me or money was given to me. I literally, second mortgage our home and 20,000 credit cards. It was a terrifying time, a fearful time going through that journey. But, you know, going through it, I learned a lot about myself,

learned a lot of faith along the way, developed a strong faith and confidence, not what I could do, but just to see the blessings flow, to see things somehow work out, to see the stars align. The next thing you know, God would literally provide for me in every step of the way. I literally was praying a lot during that time. my God, please provide for my family and I will do your work, God. Please provide for my family. And I made this like a big pact with God. And it was on my knees. And I really feel to this day, I'm still living that pact and doing that work. So what started out then as a book, the energy

bus, finally getting into bookstores, finally getting published first, then get into bookstores, then be going on a 28 city tour, five people in one city, 10 people another. You know, the most people that were 100 people in Des Moines, Iowa. They thought Jeff Gordon was coming. It's why they showed up. And true story. I get back. Next, you know, Jack Del Rio reads the book out of the blue. And then winds up inviting me to speak to the Jaguars.

They beat the steals in the first round of the playoffs. A lot of articles said, you know, Jaguars ride the energy bus. I had an impact. Next, you know, all these teams and organizations start reading the book. Then it starts leading me to come speak to a lot of these teams and organizations. And I start working with leaders and businesses and so forth. So it evolves. And then all these cops.

athletic programs, universities start using the book, all these companies start using it. I start writing more books, get more ideas. And so it led to me first, I would say developing my mindset, my work, my core philosophies and principles, sharing them, seeing the impact that they had on all these teams and organizations, worked with In-N-Out Burger recently, and all of their leaders. They basically rolled out the power positive leadership to their managers, their assistant managers, a big part of their culture. I mean, they're one of the best cultures I have ever seen. And for them to want to use my books to help them continue to build their great culture,

it means a lot, right? So doing that work. And then what happened was people literally just started to gravitate towards me and come towards me and want to then start to share my ideas and principles. And so I couldn't do all the engagements that were coming in my way or I was Christ out of the budget that they had for a speaker. and so I was no longer doing talks at that price. So then I would start giving talks to several people on my team

that became a part of my team. And I would give them some talks. And they would go do them. And then they had a great impact and great response because they were really good. So I was finding really good people, great people first and foremost, great character. I have an amazing group of people around me

that I would say we're friends before they were actually, you know, colleagues. And then they started doing the work. And as they start to make an impact, we start to share more and more. And then we came up with our training of the power positive leadership and then the power of a positive team. So we started doing these public trainings. And then we started to do in-person company events where we'd come to your company and deliver a training to your company. So we started doing that. And that started to grow and grow and grow. But for the first 15 years, it was me just hustling, writing and speaking,

a one-man show. So the team recently has been the last four years has been a team. And now, accelerating. And now I know, okay, this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life with this team with people. And now it's going to grow into certified trainers, certified people who go deliver talks, coaching and speaking based on a few of my programs that they go do. Similar to John Maxwell, but I don't want to be as big as John's program, you know, a smaller version of that. And that's what happens. So now our team goes out and does this work. So it really grew organically. And it wasn't something I wanted Ryan initially. I remember thinking, like, I don't want all of that.

I just want to focus on this. And yet when I would think about my vision and mission for the future and write things down, for some reason, like training was always a part of it. And my brother years ago said, hey, you should do some training. He did a few trainings for me, my brother in between companies he was working for. And actually, one of the companies was a client of mine. He went to go train for and delivered the energy bus training to them. They loved him so much.

They hired him. And now he's the chief marketing officer of their company. So I don't think I chose it. I think it chose me. And now I'm going, okay, I got all these people around me. I have a team. I don't want a team. But now I have a team.

This is how it happened. They'll tell you like, John didn't want a team. And now I'm like, all right, now I got to lead this team. So now I'm in a different season of my life where, okay, I'm now 52. I started doing this when I was 35. And so now I'm 52. And I'm like, okay, I have this team. I have people who want to do this work where we're making an impact.

I see where God is going with this. I've got to steward it and make sure I lead it right. And do it in a way that it can grow the right way and impact as many people. I love it. You mentioned the word fear a few times. Fear you've had, fear you've had to overcome. This question comes up quite a bit. Let's say somebody is newly promoted and in their quieter moments or in their

They're more vulnerable moments with having a one-on-one conversation that I have with these people from time to time. They express their fear. They have imposter syndrome. They're scared. They feel like, did I deserve this? Am I in the right position? Is this too much? What are some ways you help people who are experiencing that feeling right now?

So we had a guy the other day at one of our events that I was speaking at. It was a global company. It was their top global leaders. I was actually speaking. My daughter was doing the workshop. And it was really cool. the guy said that one of his negative thoughts he has, because we have an exercise, write down your negative thoughts on the left side of piece of paper. On the right side, write down your words of

encouragement that you will say to those negative thoughts. And he said on the left side, he wrote down, like, I don't deserve this. Who am I to be in this position? And I used to think that I was an imposter of being here. But now I'm writing down, I worked hard for this. I've earned this. I developed into a leader, and I deserve to be. in this room. It was really cool. So one of the ways we help people is to understand that when you have these negative thoughts that are coming in, they're not coming from you. I wrote this in the one truth. After all, who would ever choose to have a negative thought? Would you ever choose a thought that says you're not enough? You don't have what it takes. You don't deserve this? No, you would never choose

that thought, but it's a thought that comes in. So what does it come from? It comes from consciousness. It comes from a spiritual place. There's a battle going on between these negative thoughts and positive thoughts that want to uplift you, that want to encourage you. And so we have these negative thoughts, but they're lies. There are lies that will tell you things about yourself and your future that just aren't true. So we help people to not believe the lies and instead speak truth to the lies. And the truth is you're not meant to be average. The truth is you want to be great.

Everybody wants to be great. Why? Because deep down, they know there's greatness within them, within them. They know they're here to do something amazing. And so it's helping them reclaim their power. It's helping them tap into oneness instead of separateness. You see, the root word for the Greek word of anxious, means to separate and divide.

And so when you're anxious, you actually feel separate. You feel divided. You feel weak. You feel powerless. When you feel connected, when you feel one, you feel powerful. You feel strong. And so it all comes down to do I feel one and powerful? Do I feel separate and weak?

And negative thoughts will separate. you, weaken you, and divide you. Think about fear. What does fear do? It divides. And so fear is always dividing you and separating you at the psychological level, at the energetic level, at the spiritual level. And then we see it manifest in the physical level with literally this feeling of separateness and disconnection, anxiety. All mental health disorders move from oneness to separateness, from positive to negative. Think about that. When you move from oneness to separateness, you move from positive to negative. All mental health disorders report feelings of isolation, disconnection, feeling lonely and alone. And so as you move towards that, you feel these

these bad feelings, which you feel separate. So what we do is we help people understand this, especially this is the one truth, it's what it's all about, what it's all about. And what's the antidote of fear that divides. It's love. It's love that unites. Love creates connection. connection creates clarity. Clarity creates confidence, and then confidence creates courage. And I write more about that in the book. So the more you focus on love, you create this on oneness and this connection, and then you have this clarity and confidence that gives you the courage to go after it.

And this is my main tip. It's a simple tip, but it's powerful. And I've worked with so many professional college, even high school athletes, struggling, sharing this. It's a game changer like no other. And especially for corporate salespeople, for instance, you're selling and you've got fear. No, don't focus on the fear. Don't worry about the outcome or fear the outcome.

Focus on loving what you get to do. Loving your client. Loving the competition and the battle every day of what you're going through. And the minute you're in the love of it and the competing and the drive and you're not worried about the outcome, but you're loving the process, you'll love what the process produces. And this is a game changer and it's a different mindset. It's a shift in perspective. But the minute you start feeling that love, you feel different.

And you start to feel more united. You start to feel more connected. You start to feel more powerful. And that was the message I shared with the Notre Dame lacrosse team. And it was so cool that this was a team that had never won a national championship. And I knew what they were going to be feeling. And I taught them this literally right before they were leaving for this final four. And it was so cool that they brought love to that moment and love to the series.

They come back from three goals down to the semifinals to win in overtime. and then win the national championship. So I love this. You're working with Clemson football, Dhabo Sweeney, his word the year they won the national championship was love. And we really underestimate the power of love. But we also don't make it practical. And so that's what I do.

I make it practical so people can understand it. All starts with our thoughts that our emotions and ultimately our essence of who we are. Is fear driving our essence or is love driving our essence? I'm glad you brought that up because I was thinking of Hermione, borrow us quote, we learn who we are in practice, not in theory. And the theory is some of the words that are necessary, right? It starts with the language. Those are very important.

So I'm curious, John, how you go from the words, the ideas, the self-talk, to then the action, the actual performance, whatever it may be, whether it's the sales team, it's the football team, the lacrosse team. How does it go from the conversation, both with others and yourself, to then to the arena where you're going to perform yeah so so if you go throughout history we we know the Cherokee story of of the two wolves you know they fight all the time inside of you which one you feed the one you feed the which one wins the one you feed the most right so we all have two wolves inside of us that story is an ancient Cherokee story think about that

then think about the garden Adam and Eve that's a story of of two voices in the garden there was the voice of God calling them to be more. And then there was the voice of the serpent of evil, separating and dividing. Adam and Eve is a story of separation, but it's a story of two frequencies, two voices, one positive, one negative, one lying to them, one sharing the truth.

In the wolves, it's one feeding fear, it's the other feeding love, encouragement, and positivity. One negative, one positive. So woven into these ancient stories, And Adam and Eve is an ancient Jewish story that explains the story of separation. The wolves is a story of the two frequencies. Adam and Eve, a story of two frequencies. In pop culture, we see the devil on one shoulder and we see the angel on the other in the movies

where the characters trying to make a main decision and getting advice from both. That's the fabric of our existence. We have a choice between two frequencies, positive or negative. So that's what I realize. All my work, all these years has been powerful because it's all about these two frequencies of positive and negative. And it's helping people move away from the negative frequency and tuning into the positive frequency. But how do you do that on a practical level?

Okay. So the book is the knowledge. The book is the understanding. It's the awareness. And I think this awareness is going to elevate the way we think, how we approach the world. That's how I wrote the one truth. Because I was sharing with all these different athletes and coaches and suicidal teenagers who were struggling and literally seeing them turn around in a day

by teaching this to them. Because once you understand and you see what's really happening, the truth will set you for it. It really does. And so all of a sudden, they're believing the lies. They're believing their thoughts are coming from them. So what's happening?

This is what happened to one of the 16-year-olds I coached. He was suicidal two nights before in the ER. He thought his negative thoughts were coming from him. So what is he doing? Beating himself up. He's feeling shame and guilt for the thoughts center of his head. And so he's constantly beating himself up and he's getting worse and worse and worse, more negative thoughts, more clutter, more powerlessness, more fear, more anxiety, thinking

something is broken and something is wrong with him. So what do I do? Nothing is wrong with you. You're not broken. You just have a lot of thoughts in your head that's creating a lot of clutter and a lot of anxiety. Do these thoughts bombard you? Do they accuse you? Do they attack you? Oh, so much, John. So much makes me want to give up. So discouraged, he wants to give up. You're whole, and nothing is wrong with you. You just have to understand how to win the battle of your mind.

And guess what? Your negative thoughts are not coming from you. So stop believing the lies that they tell. Let me tell you what to do when they come in. Start speaking truth to the lies and words of encouragement. Realize that you don't have to believe the lies that they tell. Just because of a negative thought doesn't mean you have to believe it. So I start teaching them this.

And literally, within a day, he's recognizing the negative thoughts are not coming from him. It's a game changer, shifted mindset, perspective, and now he's feeding himself, and now he's tuning into the positive. So what do we have to do? We literally have to tune our brains. And by the way, our brain is an antenna.

It's not where thoughts are made, by the way. The brain is an antenna. No one has ever found a thought inside of a brain. Just because you have this thought, right, doesn't mean it comes from the brain. I've asked neuroscientists. Have you ever found a thought? outside of a brain. No. So thoughts come from consciousness. The brain is where the activation happens.

It's like when you're dreaming having a nightmare. Are you choosing those thoughts? No. But right now, we're going, our brain is literally firing synapsis and it's allowing us to have these thoughts. But the thoughts, I'm convinced, are being driven by our mind and our soul. Psychi, right, means soul. So our mind, our soul, our heart is part of our soul. And our soul literally is activating the thoughts in our brain to allow us to experience this reality. Because how do we see the world? It's an energetic reality through frequencies, wavelengths, vibrations, frequencies.

We interpret signals in our brain that allow us to see and hear and then give meaning to what we hear and see. It's wild when you really think about it. That's how we're perceiving this world. And so what you understand that? okay, my brain's an antenna. It is literally either tuning into the negative frequency or the positive frequency.

The negative frequency will divide and separate. The positive frequency will unite and give strength. So every day now, it's really important to tune into that positive frequency. How do you do that? T, trust and truth. So instead of doubt, I'm going to trust and I'm going to speak truth to the lies on a daily basis.

Dr. James Gills is the only person on the place, to complete six double ironman triathlons. That's a double iron man, which means you do an iron man, a day later to another one. And the last time he did it, he was 59 years old. And he was asked how he did it. He said this, I've learned to talk to myself instead of listen to myself. And so instead of listening to the lies, he would speak truth to those lies. So trust and truth.

And you've got to do this every day. And I've had a lot of success with athletes and CEOs, salespeople doing this. It's a game changer. talk to yourself and speak truth to the lies. You, T.U. You is unite with love. We'll get to that in a second. N, neutralize the negativity.

When the negativity is coming in, neutralize it. Gandhi said, I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. So I'm not going to allow this negativity to affect me and sabotage me and bring me down. See, now you realize what's happening with these negative thoughts. Now you understand how the game is being played. and that's why the awareness of this and the understanding, and this book is so important because it's going to allow you to see life in a new way.

You'll never see life the same way. You'll never see thoughts the same way, and you will understand what's happening at a deeper level with thoughts and how thoughts work. So I'm not going to allow this negativity to sabotage me. It really is life or death. And then there's E, elevate your thinking. And that's everything.

How do you elevate your thinking? That's gratitude. We've learned that for years, but now we understand why it's so important. because elevating your thinking, elevate your antenna, which tunes into a more positive frequency, which actually gives you power and strength versus negative thoughts and fear that actually weakens and divide you. So it's essential. Elevate your thinking.

Optimism and belief. We have more and more research about optimism and belief. What we believe determines what we create. Research from Duke University shows that optimists work harder, get paid more. More likely to succeed in business and sports. And what these researchers found is that these optimists, because they believed in a brighter or better future, They took the actions necessary to create it. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What we believe will determine so often in our life what we create. So elevate your thinking. Got a great story on that with my daughter telling her she was unstoppable when she was younger in LaCross, even though she was very stoppable. And eventually she rose up to actually believe what I was saying. After, though, Ryan, I almost ruined her. She almost quit LaCross because I was a negative leader, almost sabotaging her and her career and her life in many ways because I was.

always pushing too hard, expecting her to be great, you know, like I was. And I had to learn to be a positive leader. So through a transformation, doing this work and then writing the power of positive leadership. I actually wrote that after the fact. I changed completely, had to live it first. Change, became a positive leader, told her she was unstoppable, helped her elevate her thinking, and then she started to perform at a higher level. Same thing with my wife recently, with her dealing with a lot of negative thoughts and she started to elevate her thinking all the clients I work with that I that's what I do so T-U-N-E I said I'd get back to you you is to unite with love and that's what we just talked about earlier that's why it's so important to unite with love because it is the most powerful

force in the universe and love is the highest frequency so when I'm tuning now into love and I'm experiencing that oneness then all of a sudden my antenna has a very direct and clear signal to the creator of the universe. And when I have this direct signal from that signal, or you could call it spirit, when I'm connected to this spirit, I call it the Holy Spirit, the Spirit and I are now one. And in that oneness, there is amazing amount of power. Just as the tree, when it's connected to the earth, there is an opportunity for that tree to grow and thrive, where that fish is in water and it's connected to the medium it's supposed to be in. Well, guess what? There's a lot of power in that there's health, it thrives, we are meant to be connected and experience oneness,

not separateness. Hope that makes sense. Man, I love it. I think of so much actually of my dad and my wife, they have such a similar personality when it comes to just overwhelming optimism. It's the most attractive quality in a person. I love it so much because they just make every room better, whether the room was bad and they made it better or it was great and they made it better. And I sense you're very similar. However, every once in a while, you run into skeptics. You say, oh, that John Gordon, that's that woo-woo stuff, the positive psychology. He doesn't live in the real world.

So what do you say to the skeptics who say this is to woo-woo? I say that all the research shows that they're wronged, and I'd say that this is not Pauliana positive. This is about not ignoring reality. It's about creating a better reality with optimism and faith. It's not about seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. knowing that you have the power to overcome the thorns. And I would say that, what dog are you feeding? I would say that how do you feel when you think positive thoughts versus negative thoughts?

And I would tell those people that I am naturally negative. So guess what? Are you really? Oh, yeah. I grew up with a dad who was a New York City police officer undercover narcotics. You would get up in the morning and say, good morning. Daddy'd say, what's so good about it? So my dad was Al Bundy before Al Bundy was Al Bundy. Ryan, when my brother and I with teenagers were at the dinner table talking about our future, our hopes and our dreams, and there's our dad. Oh yeah, I can see when you guys are older, the law firm of useless and useless is what he said. And so I started speaking and this is my dad says, I can't believe people pay you to speak. When you're a kid, we paid you to shut up. So I grew up with this kind of mindset and negativity is something I naturally actually

go towards. So I usually share this in the beginning of my talk. so people are more open to it and we shared it now towards the end but i hope people understand like i got a struggle with it you know i really in my past would wake up depressed and anxious and and there were moments i did want to give up at times in my life so i've been there and i've seen the power of choosing to be positive i've seen what happened when i started taking walks of gratitude every day i was the guy my wife almost left because i was so negative because i was so miserable and i was blaming her for why my life was not the life that I wanted. And once I made that decision to change, because she forced me to change, she goes, because I wanted to stay married. Like if I don't change,

we're over, I had to change. It was 31. And that began this journey of research and ways to be more positive. So I think I'm a great example of a guy who was choosing the negative, changed and chose the positive, and how it's impacted my life. Does it mean, okay, you're positive, all of a sudden you're going to have this great success and do this? No, but here's what I know. being positive won't guarantee you'll succeed, but being negative will guarantee you won't. And so it gives you a better chance to go after what you want. And I don't fly private all the time, by the way, but I do fly commercial a lot. And I deal with so many challenges when I fly commercial.

And I'm always being tested on the journey. And I'm being tested with my kids along the way. They will tell you, we've had a lot of challenges along the way in their upbringing and their growth of obstacles that they face. You know, my son struggled during the quarantine. And like a lot of kids, he really struggled with his mental health. And I wept at times because what he was going through because I love him so much and seeing him struggle the way he was.

And here I do that. I'm doing this work. He's been taught these principles and he's struggling like no other. And that was such a defining time for us because I had to learn to just love, shut up, listen, and just be there for him. And there I was, not speaking on the road and literally just sitting there with him every day. not saying a word, sometimes sitting at the table and just waiting for him to say something to me, but not starting the conversation and just be there for him. And to see him now finally graduate,

you know, he's about to embark on, you know, getting a job and going into sales and going to be working his butt off doing that. And then to see him, you know, come out of that, we both grew so much together. So for the skeptics, I would say, no, I've lived it, or I've experienced it. I go towards a negative. I've had a lot of challenges adversity. Both my parents have passed away. I've dealt with the death of them that like everyone in life, my wife and I fight, there are days we fight and I'll say something stupid and we'll fight. And so along the way, right, you're always facing obstacles and adversity. So for me, this is as real as it gets and this is the real stuff that makes great leaders great. Let's see.

I've worked with Sean McVeigh, Dabas Sweeney, Eric Spolstra, Chip Kelly, Brian Davel, Kevin O'Connell, the Vikings. I can go on and on with all the, Doc Rivers, all the coaches I've had the Nick Nurse, all the coaches have had the opportunity to work with along the way. And I think they'll tell you that they're a better leader when they're a positive leader versus a negative leader. Yeah. It reminds you a spring break this year, John. I'm traveling with two of my daughters, 15 year old and 8 year old. We get to the airport and our flight was not delayed. It was canceled. That whole day, gone. And we're left scrambling because we really wanted to get down to our location to meet up with family and those can be stressful times you brought up airplanes that made me

think of this and it was such a cool moment because I like to say life is a movie and tension and adversity makes the movies more interesting and my 15 year old daughter said to my eight year old at a time she goes well this makes the movie more interesting and it was just a really cool moment because they would have could have they just they want to get to Florida right they want to be on vacation as soon as possible so it would have been very natural to just complain and say this sucks oh my God, why didn't you get a better airline or whatever? And instead say, well, this makes it more interesting. And it actually made us all laugh and we're having a good time looking for a new flight while in an airport.

And it's amazing. I guess you can say it's woo, woo, whatever, but man, it makes a difference. It impacted how we felt, how we behaved, how we showed up when we got to meet with family down in Florida. All of that like makes such a dramatic difference. You can see the negative behaviors, the pessimists, right in front. front of your face, especially at an airport. And so it's literally like living proof of the difference between looking at it with a positive and optimistic mindset, hey, this makes the movie more interesting versus complaining because your flight got canceled. My life is a direct result of that

of choosing negative and then turning it around and then seeing the positive and now finding my purpose and calling and mission and facing countless struggles along the way. Energy bus took five years for it to become a bestseller. So it wasn't like I had instant success. And I've had to grind so much for everything that along the way, you experience so much gratitude and appreciation. And I think it developed your character.

You face the university along the way. You said it makes the story better. I love that because I always think of that. Life is a story. Whenever we're going through something, I'm like, this is going to give us some great stories to tell. Because, man, we've got some great stories now, but we've got even better stories in the future

that are going to come away. And they're always through adversity. They're always through challenge. Because it's those tests that refine us, that shape us, that develop our character. If I had instantaneous success and success early, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I still help nonprofits. I still do a certain amount of pro bono events every year to make sure I'm always giving back. My wife and I give tons of money to charity because we know where we came from

when we are always supporting various charities. Would we be that way if we're instantaneous success? No, I really believe because it makes you appreciate the journey and what you have, you give back. I talk to kids all the time. I don't even know of people who reach out to me. And I don't charge to try to then teach them some of these principles of what they're going through.

And I've had a lot of conversations along the way with people to help them. So when people reach out, I respond. And so I don't sit here my high horse. I'm thankful for everything I have, but it's because I went through the interesting journey and the struggles and the obstacles. And you've got to go through them to be who you're meant to be. Because think about it.

We live in a world of duality. And the one truth is all about duality. Like at the core level, there would be no testimony if there wasn't a test. There would be no appreciation of the journey if the journey was easy. It's the struggle that makes the victory so much more rewarding. The fact that Kevin Corrigan just won a national championship after 35 years of coaching, Don't you think this was a lot sweeter for him having to go all those years without winning to finally win one now? And this one moment of winning, I'm sure makes everything worthwhile.

But even if he never won one, guess what? He would still consider himself and his life and career success because of the impact he made on all those players' lives. But it does make the reward sweeter by going through the tough times. You mentioned earlier all of these amazing leaders that are drawn to you based on the work you've put out and how you've helped so many people, whether it's in sports or it's in business, you've worked in all different industries for many years. John, when you think about the Sean McVeigh's

and Brian Dables and the leaders of these corporations, and you distill down the commonalities they have of those leaders who have sustained excellence over an extended period of time, what are the few things that they all seem to have in common? Well, one I wanna say, those relationships I have, I want people to know, the reason why you have those relationships,

is because I've been walking with them and I did it in a way that I wasn't asking for anything. I was giving and serving. So I want people to know, first and foremost, how do you develop influence? You give and serve. But I wasn't doing it for that. I was doing it because I wanted to help and make a difference.

So I was always just there for people. Like Sean McVeigh will tell you, you know, that I've been walking with him since he got the job at 30 years old to be the head coach of the Rams and was just there for him and supporting him and became his friend to help him. A lot of these coaches and all of them, I'm just, I'm there for them.

And I realize that now, people like, wow, look at the influence you've had. And I think, no, it's because I really just care about them and I'm here to serve and here to make a difference. And I wasn't looking to monetize. It wasn't looking to, you know, gain influence. Influence was giving to me by showing up and loving, serving, and caring. And I wrote this in The Carpenter. The Carpenter is sort of my life's mantra of loving, serving, and caring, and how to show up and do that every day. And it's, I follow Jesus, it's how he led.

You love these serving care. And guess what? Impacted the world. The world keeps time based on his birth. Love, serve care. You gain influence. So that's one thing I just want to share with people. And then I've learned so much from these leaders.

And I've learned their characteristics as you just asked. And what are their characteristics? You know, they're optimistic. They believe in their teams. They're fiercely competitive, Ryan. I realized that recently. They're fiercely competitive. And man, they want to win and they are going after it.

And I didn't realize that as much until recently when I was playing basketball with Davosweeney. I went up to visit him at Clemson. And he goes, bring your ball shoes. And I'm staying at his house. We're hanging out. And we play basketball. And we are competing. We are competing.

And every, like, I was winning. He would just buckle down, get fierce. And I was a good player. I was a better lacrosse player. I'm a better pickle ball player. I'm good at basketball, but pick a ball, I'll crush him. But basketball, he played in high school and was recruited to play in college, which I didn't know. He was a really good basketball player.

I mean, he's like, he's moving, boom. He looks like a basketball. He moves like, well, I'm like, wow, dab, I don't realize you were this good. But he was fierce and competitive. I'm like, now I get it. Now I get it. That's why you're winning national championships. Not only do you love your players, not only do you hold him accountable, love an accountability,

but you're also fiercely competitive. So I would say optimism, love an accountability. the two together combined, developing great relationships with your team, and then pursuing excellence with a fierce competitiveness, but a healthy competitiveness. Sometimes a coach can be competitive, but it turn inward or turn outward towards the players. And so instead of attacking problems, you attack people. Great leaders, positive leaders, don't attack people. They attack problems.

They're not demeaning. They're demanding. And that's the key. You've got to be demanding, but not demeaning. So there's always characteristics. I wrote about this in the power of positive leadership, not trying to be self-promotional, but if you're a leader, I encourage you to read that book,

The Power of Positive Leadership. It will help you lead a more positive way. One more before we go, John. Let's say you're meeting with somebody who's around your kids' age or maybe a little younger, fresh out of college, looking to leave a positive dent in the world. They want to do good. They look up to you.

They're inspired by the work that you've done and continue to do. What are some general pieces of life slash career advice you'd give to that person? Three words, do the work. We often say don't go through the motions, but I think some days you have to go through the motions because you're not always going to feel it,

but you just show up and you do the work and you're not going to be energized perhaps that day. But then the next day, you show up, the next day you show up. Then it becomes a habit. And the more it becomes a habit, then they're going to be days you're energized more than others, but even when you're not going and feeling great,

you still go. And you still show up. And over time, that creates consistency. And consistency creates your future. What you do every day will create your future. And so we underestimate the importance of consistency and showing up. Now, I'm not saying go through the day being apathetic. No, show up. Give your best. But no, some days you don't have it. But you're still showing up doing the work. And over time, you'll get more and more fired up and energized by what you're doing. and you'll start to see the results you're having by showing up every day. So that's sort of contrary to say, you know, don't go through the motions. Don't go through the motions because then it becomes a habit,

and then the habit becomes the results that you create in your life. I would also say love, serve care. Focus on loving others. Focus on loving what you do. Focus on loving the opportunity to be your best. And guess what? Love the battle. Love the competition.

Whatever you're in, love competing. You're not competing against people. compete for people. When you compete four, you're making each other better along the way. So love it. Then serve.

Find ways to serve. Serve others, coach them, mentor them, help people get the product they want. Help people get better. The more you serve others, what happens is you start to gain influence and they want to serve back. The more you serve, you commit.

And commitment always requires service and sacrifice. So as you're committing, commitment recognizes commitment. So your commitment to them, they'll see it and they'll commit back. That's the key. People always say, well, so-and-so's not committed. They're not committed.

You be the committed one. When you commit to others, you'll start seeing more committed back. And then show you care. Caring is really one of the greatest success strategies involved. Just caring more because so many people don't care. So when you care, you stand out in a world that don't care. And my daughter recently with this house in Austin, the realtor, was doing so much for her and giving so much advice.

and really investing time and energy to help her through the purchase, he was showing that he cared. And guess what? She will recommend him to everyone because of his care. Most realtors do not call up after the sale, after the transaction. They do not call up to see how you're doing. And if you're happy with the sale, if you're happy with the house. 99% do not do that.

1% do. It blows my mind. How would you not call your client to see if they're happy? So doing that is that 1% of caring that makes you stand out and makes you better. I would tell young people, care more. So good. I also want to note, because this has come up recently, John, you were early for this conversation. That shows respect, that shows care, that shows love, you're living it out, you're a busy leader.

You're also on the West Coast. It started at 10 o'clock Eastern Time. So you're early, and it was early for you. I think that's important, man. Seth God and I went on a long rant about this recently, but I think it's very, very important that we show up early to things. That was baked into me from my sports coaches, probably you too. But this kind of being okay with being laid is not something I'm okay with. So I do appreciate that. I think it's worth noting. I agree with that, Ryan. Thank you so much.

Thanks so much for being here, man. I really appreciate it. Thanks, Brian. Thank you for having me. God bless you. It is the end of the podcast club. Thank you so much for being a member of the end of the podcast club. If you are, send me a note, Ryan at learning leader.com. Let me know what you learned from this great episode with John Gordon. A few takeaways from my notes. One, consistency creates your future. Show up each day and do the work. It sounds simple, but it's much harder in practice. Consistency is not necessarily sexy. However, it builds trust and it can create the launching point for your future and your career. Next, John, use an acronym T-U-N-E-T, trust and truth. You, unite with

love. N. Neutralize the negativity. Quote, I do not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. That's a Gandhi quote. So good. E, elevate your thinking with gratitude, optimism, and belief. Then the tool John shared for handling imposter syndrome on one sheet of paper. One side, write your negative thoughts.

Those lies you're telling to yourself. On the other side, write words of encouragement. Again, this sounds kind of basic. However, it is proven to work. The optimists will be the ones who win long term. We all know those pessimists in our lives. They're not the ones that we typically want to hang around. Let's look at the world with optimism, with positivity and belief that will make it happen.

This is not woo-woo. I understand the skeptics. I'm kind of one of them from time to time. And John was won as well. But the science proves this to be true. So let's strive to be that ourselves as leaders. Once again, I will say thank you so much for continuing to spread the message and telling a friend or two. Hey, you should listen to this episode of The Learning Leader Show with John Gordon.

I think he'll make you a more effective leader. And because you continue to do that and you continue to go to Ryanhawk.net, which launches you to Apple Podcasts. And once you're there, you write a thoughtful review and you rate the show, hopefully five stars. And by doing that, you are giving me the opportunity to do what I love on a daily basis and for that I will forever be grateful. Thank you so so much talk you too can't wait