The Life Of Bryony - Ashley Roberts: From Pop Stardom to Wellness Advocate – Her Story of Grief, Anxiety & the Power of Breathwork

Episode Date: July 14, 2025

In this heartfelt episode, Ashley Roberts – former Pussycat Doll, broadcaster, and author – opens up about her journey through anxiety, sleep struggles, and the relentless pressures of fame. Ashley shares how breathwork became her lifeline, helping her manage burnout and find resilience in the face of personal and professional challenges. And she speaks candidly about her experiences with grief following the loss of her father, her ongoing battles with self-doubt, and the importance of community and chosen family.  Whether you’re a fan of Ashley’s music or seeking inspiration for your own wellbeing, this episode delivers honest conversation and advice for anyone wanting to find calm amidst chaos. WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU Got a question or a story to share? Text or send a voice note on 07796657512 - just start your message with LOB Use the WhatsApp shortcut: https://wa.me/447796657512?text=LOB  Prefer email? Drop us a line at  [e-mail] If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it – it really helps! Bryony xx Credits:  Host: Bryony Gordon Guest: Ashley Roberts Producer: Laura Elwood-Craig Assistant Producer: Ceyda Uzun Studio Manager: Sam Chisholm Editor: Luke Shelley Exec Producer: Mike Wooller  A Daily Mail production. Seriously Popular. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode of The Life of Briny is sponsored by Asda, with thousands of prices rolling back across the store and online. That's good honest value. That's Asda Price. Today on The Life of Briny, what happens when your brain just won't switch off and your body says enough? Ashley Roberts joins me today to talk about the real stuff, burnout, breath work and bereavement. From pussycat doll to breakfast radio host, Ashley is now sharing the life-saving work that helped her through some of her toughest moments. Her new book is out this week and it's not just about breath work, it's about surviving and learning to show up for yourself. This is a deeply personal conversation that's going to help you in the

most surprising ways. My family struggled a lot in the mental health area. And so I think that with that reflection has given me motivation to find ways to help my mental health. My chat with Ashley Roberts, coming up on The Life of Brianne. Ashley Roberts, welcome to The Life of Brianne. Thank you for having me. It's so nice to have you here.

You have written a really honest book about, it's about breathwork, ostensibly, but it's really about your journey to breathwork, I guess. And you know, I wanted to say that because you say in the book that when you talk about the things that led you to having to get into breath work. It can feel like, I mean, you say, you feel anxiety in your chest, like a gut punch. It can be heavy sometimes, right? Yeah. I mean, so let's take a breath. Yeah, right. Shall we? Well, and what's through the nose is key. Yeah. So actually a good thing to practice for people that are at home listening, watching, whatever, because most of us are shallow breathing.

Is it costal breathing? Is that what it is? It's just, we're not using the full capacity of our lungs and our diaphragm, which then sends signals to our brain that we're stressed out, which we're already stressed out living in this world. We don't need any more fucking signals. Right? No. Exactly, Chica. So if you put your hands out in front of your face and then flop down your thumbs, yeah?

And then put those underneath your ribs. Okay. Yeah, like this. I'll flip them the other way around. Oh, yeah. Oh, good. Oh, yeah. I've got you.

Yeah. And then feel your ribs there. I mean, I can't feel my ribs. Yes, you can, Chica. I can feel the underwarring of my bra. Okay. Whatever you got there will work. And then just expand fully as you take an inhale through the nose.

And then it contracts. And honestly, like, we don't breathe like that. It's just, it doesn't happen. But actually, by doing that, we send signals to the brain that say, it's okay, we can relax and stay calm. So when I was a little girl, they thought I had asthma. I realize now I didn't have asthma. I was basically just having like panic attacks the whole time.

Yeah. You know, we're body. Yeah. We don't realize also that that honestly, most of us are breathing like that sort of in a panic kind of state. So it's just a good reminder in general to take a deep breath every now and then. Yeah. Check your breath.

So we're going to take it easy. Take a deep breath because this book, it's about breath work, but really, as I said, it's about your journey to breath work. I think a lot of people hear terms like breath work, meditation, you know, like all of the ones, you know, things that are suggested to us as kind of solutions for busy minds and for problems. And they kind of go, oh, no, don't tell me to do that, you know. And I think we assume that people who use breath work, I think there can be that assumption that people have just taken to it like a duck to water. They're like, oh, yes, I'll just try some breathwork and that's changed my life. And what you make really clear in this book, Ashley,

is that you have had to learn how to breathe because you did not have an easy journey to this. And this has become something that has saved you really. Well, first of all, this book is more personal than I've ever been publicly. I open up about certain areas of my life. I touch on certain subjects, which, you know, listen, we all got a story. You know, I'm not on my own here. We've all gone through trials and tribulations. So yeah, I think when I was younger and I was dancing, I subconsciously wasn't quite realizing what that was doing.

That was probably a major release for me, you know, and I just felt like I loved it I was so passionate about it but the movement and the music is so healing for the body the mind the soul that as I got older and I stopped pursuing that as like my passion I kind of was sat there and I was like what the hell is all this shit you know what is all this crap that's going on? My mind is going a thousand miles an hour. I feel like sometimes my heart is beating out of my chest and I don't know what to do. So I always sort of had this curiosity of things to try. I was open to exploring stuff, but I sort of stumbled on breath work. I mean, it sounds like an eat, pray, love story. Like,

I went to Bali and I stumbled upon breathwork. But no, really, that's what happened. But it was a long journey to Bali. And even then, when you had your experience of breathwork, you know, you're very open in the book about how, you know, mental health is a continuum. Like there isn't one thing and you're like, that's it, I'm cured, I'm fine, life's gonna be fine and dandy now forever. It's like an ongoing thing. I mean, the reason I have to do this

is because how I exist day to day. Do you know what I mean? Like this is something that helps me, but also, you know, it's something I have to remind myself to do to show up for myself and just for even a few minutes. And I think there's even sometimes a resistance towards that. You know, it's like when we get up and we don't really want to go to the gym, but we know it will benefit us or whatever that thing may be for you.

Even with this, I know it will make me feel better. But sometimes I'm like, oh no, I'll find something else to distract myself. But I'm like, no, sit down and take like at least a few minutes. And it regulates my nervous system. It helps calm down my monkey mind. I always tell my friends when they're like,

what is it, like, why do you like this stuff so much? And I'm like, I feel like it calms my mind down, which is a constant with me. And I feel like I come feel like it calms my mind down, which is a constant with me. And I feel like I come, I call it home. I come back to my, like centered in my heart where I feel more hopeful. I feel more joy. I feel like I can show up in a more positive space, whether that be to a meeting, to see a friend, to call my family, whatever it may be.

And that feeling, that little shift in perspective is a miracle, really. If you can kind of go from that chaoticness where the mind is spinning the emotions, all the bells and whistles are going off, to a sense of like, okay. I didn't even really mean to take a deep breath there, but legit, right? Like, oh, there I am. Okay. I'm home. Because you've always found it hard to switch your brain off. That would be a fair thing to say, would it not? Like, so you grew up in Arizona and you know, you weren't, you didn't have like, and you probably, this is the other thing, it's like when we say to people, you didn't have like a normal childhood or a grounded childhood, but that

was your normal. So, yes. Yeah. I mean, it was my normal. Plus I think, you know, regardless, growing up in dysfunction, I think is, could be considered unfortunately normal, right? So it's all perspective in a sense. But yeah, I grew up in a bit of rock and roll, let's say. Like a Bohemian childhood, is that what we'd say? I don't know if I'd say, I mean, it was rock and roll, you know, it was like, but in some ways,

it was epic because of that, you know? it was like, it was, but in some ways it was epic because of that, you know, there's lots of music being played. There was, you know, fun activities going on. When you say fun activities, you don't mean crafting, do you? No, no. My dad could throw a party, let's just say that. He was the drummer in the mamas and papas. He dated Mama Cass's sister. So he lived with Mama Cass for a bit and drummed in and out of the mamas and the papas.

So when like that whole era of Laurel Canyon, you know, was going on, he was amongst all that. Yeah. But then he moved back to Phoenix and met my mom and then the rest is her story. And would like drum on your mom's belly when she was pregnant. Oh, yeah, I jumped on everything. I mean, it was just, yeah, that was a constant thing. The steering wheel, I mean, whatever was around our garage was a drum studio, percussion studio.

He had his own recording studio. So music, that's, you know, I really get that from, from him. My love of music. And were they, and did they, they were together for a long, were you young when they got, when they got divorced? Yeah. They separated when I was about 14. Okay.

Yeah. High school time. And that was when you were discovering dancing. No, I came out the womb honey dance thing. Okay. Yeah. I was three. But when you were about 14, you started doing like dancing professionally. So yeah, I started dancing when I was three and then I started probably booking jobs and gigs around that teenage area. And then when I moved to Los Angeles is when I started pursuing it more of like on a bigger scale because you're in LA, aren't you?

Yeah, but there's this like really poignant bit in the book where you talk about being 14 and like there's some sort of dance thing where someone's prepared a routine for you and you've got to audition. It was a dance company that I auditioned for. Yeah. And there was a teacher that I was just, you know, in awe of wanted to impress so bad. And then I didn't end up sleeping because I was so stressed. You just stopped sleeping.

I just stopped sleeping because I was over analyzing showing up and being imperfect. You know, just like that I caused this absolute chaos of tornado and I just couldn't sleep. And then of course I showed up not, you know, to my full capability because I hadn't slept. And then, yeah, that was, you know, I think that was a tricky time where I was like, oh wait, sleep, that's, that's a thing we, we need, isn't it? That helps. Like you started taking like over the counter sleeping aids. It was, yeah, just how are we going to cope through this? You know, and I was like, oh, that says that'll work for sleep. I'll just take a little bit of that. See if that helps.

And you just became, I mean, like, I mean, would you say addicted or would you say? I mean, I was, I was definitely leaning on coping mechanisms for help in that department because I was, I was struggling in the sleep department. Because it's torturous when you can't sleep. Yeah, it is. It's not fun. You know, you feel like already you want to show up and be your best but then you don't have the full recharge that you needed for that. And then if that happens a few nights in a row, you're kind of like, whoa, where am I at?

But I think that's something that will like a lot of people will really relate to and it really, I really relate to it. And I, you know, I guess in the UK, we didn't, you know, we didn't really have like sleeping aids until relatively recently. But I, you know, I think that I definitely know and I have a lot of friends who are, you know, if you go to America or you go to Europe, it's like, get some melatonin or get some, you know, and it's... America's got everything.

I mean, it's got hard, but it's got harder stuff than that, you know, but I do think that is a really relatable thing that I think a lot of people tuning in will go, oh, God, yeah, you know, that sort of quiet thing where you're like, oh, I have to take this every night. Yeah, my relationship with sleep has grown tremendously. I wouldn't say it's, you know, I'm all the way there, like fixed, but it's with the breath work, with the techniques that I've been doing consistently with routine and putting these into place and really showing up for it has helped. But yeah, it's been a journey.

Yeah, because it went on for years, didn't it? Oh yeah, yeah. And I still struggle, you know, don't get me wrong. Like I'm saying, I am a work in progress, but this is something that when I do consistently, it does help me. Okay. So you discover breathwork in Bali. Yes. So you become, before this, you've become hugely successful in the pussycat dolls, right? And you write in the book about you end up being hospitalized for burnout.

Yeah. Again, this is like the brain and I'm not by the way, actually, like this is all I find this all very relatable. It's like you talk about how if you don't scream, your body will scream for you. And reading the book, I got this sense and I think this will again relate to lots of people as well. You're just moving, you're just keeping on going because we're told you have to achieve this, you have to do this, you have to do this. We have to, you know, we have to pay bills, we have to pay mortgages, we have to, we should, we should be reaching this, you know, we should be ticking this thing off our bucket list by this age, by this age. And, you know, that I was like, oh my God, yeah. And then you get to a stage

where your nervous system is like, I can't do this anymore. Yeah. And it shuts down, really. It's like, guess what? You're not going to make it to that next show because we've run out of fuel everywhere. Yeah.

Yeah. It was tricky. And like you said, I think it was just sort of programmed to like go, go, go, go, go. And then once you hit that mark of like, oh my gosh, my body is literally shutting down. It's like, okay, how can I, I mean, at that age as well, it was such a different time as well. Like it was a different era, like even sitting down now and having this conversation with you wouldn't have existed back then. And I think, you know, maybe one of the good things about social media is that there is this accessibility to like, Oh, I'm

kind of going through this or there's something that's occurring within me. Can I find a community or is there a conversation that's existed about that where that can maybe help me get perspective? So how old were you when when it happened? Did it sort of just come upon you? Yeah, so we were in London, actually, the dolls, we were in London and I was at a hotel and all of a sudden I was had an extreme headache. Like, I mean, the pain was unreal. And then I was getting sick as well. And I know this sounds outrageous, but I'm just going to be honest. When I was getting sick, it actually calmed down the pain in my brain. So I was like, more like, I wanted to get sick. I know this is outrageous. Anyways,

I'm calling my manager and I'm like, you know, something's not right. But we've got a show in Germany tomorrow. So I'm going to like, you know, try and make it happen. And he was like, I don't know, I think we should take you to the hospital. And as I'm in the hospital, they're like, I mean, I'm laughing because I'm just like, you need to, you need to stop. And I'm like, no, I need to get on a plane to go to Germany tomorrow. So like whatever we got to do, just get it done. When they said to you, you need to stop. They thought I was having a brain aneurysm.

Wow. Yeah. And then on my way to get an MRI, I'm walking, right? And I'm like, okay, well, I'm thinking I'll get an MRI. I'll get whatever medicine and I'll get my bum on the plane. My knee locks up and I can't bend my knee as I'm walking to get the MRI. Viral arthritis came about in the body. Anywho, I didn't make it to that show. But no, but this is really because when they said to you, you have to stop and your body is going, you have to stop. But how did that register in your brain? Was it like panic? I can't do that. It was more in a space of like just whatever we need to do to get this like done with.

Because I need to go. I need to get to the next show. That was just my mentality. It wasn't like, oh wait, actually, like what is going on here? I should take a second because this isn't cool. So how old were you? I was in my 20s. Probably like, yeah, my mid 20s. So it was like the noughties. Yeah. When as you say, times were very fucking different.

She was a whole different era. There was not talks of this stuff like looking over your mental health and like checking in with yourself and it didn't exist. And presumably that sense that if you can't show up for a show because your body is literally breaking down though, that like you're not, you know, you're sort of failing in some way. I don't know, like I just imagine what my brain would be like, you know? No it wasn't failing. It was just like, what do I need to do to keep going? That's what I mean. But like it was so high pressure

that you couldn't take the time. I mean, I just was like, that was my mentality then. I mean, now it'd be different. Now I'd be like, oh wait, let me hold on. What's going on here? Let's assess the situation. But it wasn't back then. I'm grateful that, you know, it has shift and change.

You hear people now speaking like, oh, I might've canceled a show because I need to look after myself or maybe we'll reschedule this because I'm going to look after myself. Because your wellbeing is your priority. Yeah, you know, and so I guess in some way it is, it's good that we've shifted in that. Well, that's what I mean. I don't mean you were failing. I mean, like the, the attitude then is like,

if you don't show up, even if you're falling apart, like I remember like, it's similar than, you know, in the industry I worked for, it was like, you can't have a breakdown. Yeah, no. That's weak. You know, that's what I mean. That's, I don't mean you were failing.

I'm not like, I'm just saying, and you're like, fuck. And that's like this extra layer of shame that you have to like dollop on the fact that your body is collapsing on you. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that was kind of instilled in us as well that we were sort of interchangeable. So it was like also like, you know, if you don't show up, who knows what will happen. Right. So there was also that but. So like you were you, you, your sense of worth was quite small. Possibly. I think that there was, you know, a mixture of things going on there. But I, but again,

I also growing up in the dance world, you know, you got a broken toe, you still kind of keep going. It is also a part of like the program mind. It is the show must go on. You know what I mean? Like I grew up in a studio where, okay, yeah, whatever tape it up. Let's go. Okay. So, so hang on. So they think you're having a brain aneurysm. Sorry to make you go over this because I think it's genuinely fascinating. And it's, you know, like I think, and your knees locked up. So what does it turn out? What was going on? I had, I had to take some time off. Yeah. I had to like rest and get myself recuperated. And then I was back. But how long did you have to take off?

I don't remember actually. I don't know. I don't remember a few shows and then I was back. But you know, then you're also lying there. I was like, I did want to be on stage. I didn't want to be in a hotel room by myself. So what did they find out? What was wrong? It was just a stress reaction. I got a viral infection and it just affected me the way that it did, but it was quite extreme effects of all, which I do was probably just a manifestation of being run down, you know? But even then, I guess it doesn't, again, like you just, you get better and then you just carry on as you were before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when was the point where you were like, because you talk in the book about you're

walking around Notting Hill and you feel like, oh, I'm lost, not physically, you knew where you were, just to clarify, but you felt like, I guess,'m lost. Not physically. You knew where you were. Just to clarify. But you felt like, I guess, spiritually lost. Yeah, I just was walking around being like, I feel a bit down. I feel a bit low. Like, and again, I've always been curious of ways to find tools to help myself feel better. But at that time I just was like, right, we don't know what's going on here. I'm in Notting Hill, living by myself, brought my dog over from America. So yeah, I went searching for a little retreat. I was like, mmm, Bali looks nice. That sounds fun. And that was after you'd like, cause I think it is really interesting

to say that was after you'd left the, the, the, the dolls. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't move to London until after I did the jungle. Okay. So you, so you'd stopped dancing as much. Yeah. After the dolls, I stopped dancing actually completely really. So your body was giving up all of the secrets it had danced on. That's our next novel. No, but You talk about how drama, you know, dancing was like the way that you, you have this energy inside you. I loved dancing so much.

I just, but I just, like I said, I came out the womb and I think my dad being a musician, like there was music around me constantly and it was just, I just loved it. It was, you look like you want to dance now. Yeah, it's in my bones. It's in my blood. You know what I mean? But after the being in a pop group for so long, I just sort of, I was like, I just want to shut all of that down and like go in a different direction and try a new avenue of

stuff because that was a lot. So, yeah, I started like just trying different things. I went to a comedy improv class. I met this guru, Amma, that like hugs you. She literally just goes around the world hugging. And I was like, yep, I'm just going to go in for a little squeeze, you know, and see if this helps a bit. Yeah, I just started finding like and exploring different ways to try and help me feel more in alignment with where I wanted to exist.

So did you have you always felt like this is just getting me projecting my stuff onto you basically actually. But like have you always felt a little bit like my brain, like you talk about overanalyzing things and catastrophizing and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom used to say to me, you worry when there's nothing to worry about. That kind of thing. You and I are of the same tribe. And that's like exhausting. And there's also that kind of sense of like, what's wrong with

me? Because you look at other people and go, they seem to be, they seem to know their shit. They seem to be able to handle this. Why? Why do I have to spin out about everything? Does do you get that? Like, can I just be a little bit easier? I don't want to like, I'm making this much more complicated and much more chaotic than it needs to be. Yeah. So it can be a lot. It can be overwhelming. And so again, when you find stuff that makes you feel a bit better,

I'm like, oh, okay, I want to do more of that. So you talk about going to Bali on this retreat and you talk about this like lovely gooey feeling that you get from the breathing. So I went to Bali because I knew of this life coach guy that was putting on this retreat and I was like, you know what, just going to go. I'm going to go to Bali. Went on my own 12 days, no cell phone, no technology, completely disconnect. And he was like, well, during the sort of lessons

or teachings, whatever you want to call it, there's gonna be sort of this breath work class, Kundalini class. And I was like, okay, cool, whatever. I like yoga. I'll try anything. I'm in Bali, whatever. You can't come here and not do this kind of stuff.

And I remember doing the class and I was like, Oh my God, that feels so nice. And it just was a sense of calm. I didn't know what was going on. I don't know if I was drinking the Bali Kool-Aid. I was like, but this feels nice and I'd like to have this feeling more often. It was just a sense of calmness when I walk around the world, mostly feeling quite chaotic internally,

which I'm sure, you know, there's a lot of people, like we don't put the bad days on Instagram, do we? That's not that's not the highlight reel. Like, you know, but there's always, we're always going through something. Everybody's got their own battles and it was nice to feel like I wasn't battling for like a few moments. You know, like listening to you, I feel a bit like teary up because that sense of how, of how hard life can be, you know, it just locked inside your brain. Right. And so when you find moments where it's where you can sort of almost feel like you're in without sounding really woo woo, but I love a bit of woo, where you're in flow with the world. Yeah. And not the world like on social media and not the world, you know, in the news, but

like the natural world. Yeah, I feel like, and I'm just going to be honest, like when I come out of my classes, right, my classes can run from like 45 minutes that I take or they can go like an hour and a half or I've gone to retreats where I'm doing them for even longer than that. But you walk outside in nature and you're just like, I feel connected to all of this. And what a beautiful way to feel. It feels like love, like pure purity, like all the other crap has just gone away for a little bit. And I'm like, yeah, that's

that's some good stuff. To have some more of that play. Thanks. The books, I mean, you really you explain all of the breath work really clearly. And it's amazing. There's amazing physical things that you you know, like, I think a lot of us don't know about how the breath works to sort of basically detox our entire bodies. It's quite, I mean, I am not, you know, a certified breathwork instructor, but I'm here yet sharing my passion, you know, because of how much I love this. But I worked with an amazing expert as well in the book. And yeah, so it's a bit of my story. It's a bit of how I discovered it's a bit of the science behind it,

which is what you're talking about. There's legit things going on where I was like, oh, I just feel nice. I was like, oh, actually, there's I mean, to explain it kind of briefly, like breath work is using your breath to get more in tune with your body, but there's this, this Vegas nerve. I feel like, you know, I used to hang out on the Vegas strip. I love that. I wrote that down.

You've gone from the Vegas strip to the Vegas nerve. Okay. That is the title of the podcast. There's this nerve that is attached from the brain to the gut that stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is a part of the nervous system that tells us it's okay to be calm, to rest, to digest, to relax. So through our breath, we can activate that, which is like a sort of like a little superpower in a sense, right? It's like, oh, I can use my breath and use these techniques for, I mean, let's say you've got three minutes.

You know, I like to go a little bit longer than that. But even if you've got three minutes, you can stimulate, you can activate that so you can kind of create a kind of you're creating your own endorphins So you can kind of create a kind of, you're creating your own endorphins and give yourself some dopamine or some serotonin by your breath. So what, okay, so say we had three minutes now to do a little bit of breath work. So is there perhaps something, not to put you on the spot

and go all blue Peter on you, but is there something that we could do that perhaps people at home listening could also do? There's, there's so many, like even today, like I was in traffic. So I was like doing my four, seven, eight breath exercises. You know, I'm on the taking public transport and the sounds can be quite overwhelming and people shoving into spaces. And so I'll use them there. Even like in meetings

when you're feeling a bit like anxious, like you can kind of go undercover and sort of do some of these breath exercises without people even knowing. So there's four, seven, eight. What's that? Four, seven, eight is quite simple. Really. I mean, I, there's loads of them, but this is quite a simple one that anybody could do. So you breathe in for a count of four through your nose, three, four, and then hold the breath for seven, three, four, five, six, seven, and exhale at the mouth. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, which that's, that sometimes can be hard. Sorry, everybody listening at home. I sound like I'm, I don't know what I'm saying. Like I'm frothing in the mouth. I'm not.

So that's the four, seven, eight. For the box breathing might be easier for people. I mean, sometimes the longer exhales, what really does stimulate the parasympathetic, but even box breathing is quite easy. And that's just a count of four, where you inhale for four, and you hold the breath for four, two, three, four, exhale out the mouth. Two, three, four, hold the breath. Two, three, four, inhale through the nose. Two, three, four, hold the breath. Two, three, four, exhale out the mouth. Two, three, four, hold the breath. Two, three, four, exhale with the mouth.

Two, three, four, hold the breath. Two, three, four. So that's quite a simple one for someone who's just getting started. And you can do that a few times, three minutes if you got it, and you'll feel more relaxed. At least I feel more relaxed.

Again, this is stuff that I'm sharing that has really helped me and it's coming from a place of just wanting to share. Because if it's helped me, it could possibly help others. And a lot of people might know about it. And then it's just a good reminder to continue it up. A lot of people, you know, that I work in an office in Leicester Square, and they're like, I've never even heard of this stuff. So it'd be cool also to introduce it to people who maybe don't know about it and could, you know, you just can sit on the floor, you can

sit on a chair, you can, you can do it anywhere. That rhymed. I love it. Poem. Little children's book over here. Yeah, The Breath of Fire is one of my favorites, but that's, you know, again, something to probably build up to. You do a lot of, I mean, you do a lot of really cool reels on your social, where you show people how to do it. I'm trying to share a bit more. Yeah, I think I've been doing this for years. I've been doing it, gosh, I want to say like seven years now,

but it's something I just did on my own, in my own time, to make myself feel better. And now, yeah, I think with like this amazing opportunity to do the book as well, I was like, okay, I'm just gonna, it's amazing opportunity to do the book as well. I was like, okay, I'm just going to start sharing a bit more, like, see if people not see just the thing is, is even if they don't even get very many views, the people that like, see it are, are there are meant to see it, you know, are meant to connect with it. It's really, I can sense talking to you that there's a sort of, I almost feel like, and I get it,

I totally get it, where you're like, it's a nervousness sort of about it. I just get this sense that it's something, it's really special to you. And I, yeah, and I just think that, I hope that you can try and enjoy it a bit. Yeah. You know, when the, when this beautiful gift to do the book came, I was like, I'm not the girl in school that was going to do a book one day.

You know, like I was academically all over the shop. Like my head was in the clouds. I was creating and choreographing dance routines in my head. I was listening to music in my head was in the clouds. I was creating and choreographing dance routines in my head. I was listening to music in my head, like, you know, singing along inside my head. So I just, I was like, I can't, I don't think I can do this. Like, I don't know. But I said yes, anyways, because it was just such a gift. And then through the process, you know, it's that whole sort of cliche cheesy line of like, trust the process. Like through this, I've been able to like, first of all, share a bit more, be a bit more

vulnerable in the hopes to inspire others to try something that could possibly help them feel a bit better. Does it feel weird being vulnerable though? Yeah. It's a weird thing to have to come and sit down in a studio and talk about, you know, really dark times in your life. Yeah, I feel much more in the safe space of being my sort of like silly, goofy, or dancing or like my outfit stuff because that's what I'm asked.

You put on a put on a perform you perform. But it is a part of me. Yeah. Oh no. Absolutely. Yeah. But it is. Yeah. I, you know, my boyfriend actually was like, I don't think people realize what internally goes on within you. And I'm like, well, don't necessarily share it all the time. Obviously my tribe, my chosen family does, but yeah. So this is new space for me to be a bit more vulnerable, Obviously my tribe, my chosen family does.

This is new space for me to be a bit more vulnerable, but I feel empowered by it to be able to share something that has helped me. Okay. Can we talk about how much it helped you during this very dark time when your father died. Do you say that breathwork helped you through that? Dr. Kate O'Hara So the timing of everything, I don't think I quite realized how much breathwork was going to be a tool to help me process life, let's say. So I had started it, but I didn't quite consciously know what was going on.

And then when I started doing it consistently, I was like, oh, okay, certain shifts are happening within myself and then also happening within my life. So let's just circle back like what have I been doing, you know, these breath exercises, I've been showing up and it makes me feel better but also I think it's been helping me process the trials, you know, that we go through in life. Because you know, again, I don't, grief is a, it's a tricky one, isn't it? And no one tells you how to handle it. There's no right or wrong way to, it's just what tools

can possibly be out there to kind of help us through it or like our community or whatever it may be. And by continuing and showing up and doing this, this stuff, these breath techniques, I mean, my friends were like, I've seen a shift in you. Like, you know, this, keep doing it because something is happening. No, I mean, it's really magic. And you talk in the book about never being able to take mental health for granted.

That's like a, you know, like you, you, you feel quite like it's always something that you, you need to be aware of through your like family history. Yeah. There's this, you know, there was my family struggled a lot in the mental health area. And so I think that with that reflection has given me motivation to find ways to help my mental health and help me stay strong. And then again, try and share that because not alone, right? Yeah, no, you're not. How're not. How are you feeling right? Let's check in with you. Yeah, it's, you know, it's...

Should we take a breath? Sure, that always is nice. Yeah, we'll take a, we'll take a breath. If you're anything like me, you're juggling about 17 different tasks in your head all at once. So let me give you one less thing to think about. Your weekly shop. Because Asda is rolling back prices on thousands of products this summer.

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subject to availability. ? subject to availability. [♪ music playing in background. First of all, I'd like to talk about what I love about my dad. I would love to hear that because I think sometimes we can focus when tragic things happen, we focus on the tragic thing. But that person was more than the sum of the tragic thing. Thousand percent. And again, my love of music, my dancing, you know, he would play the drums and I would just be dancing in the living room.

Like his silly sense of humor. I mean, he was so goofy and he was also like such a big kid. So any kind of like adventurous thing that we could do. I mean, at one point, I don't think this would go down in modern day, but we had this little like sled that he attached a rope from the sled to the back of the truck in snow and just like would fling us around again. He sounds awesome. He was a lot of fun. I mean, Patrick. Yeah.

Patrick. Patrick. Yeah, Pat. And he built this two-story fort so that we could jump off of it onto the trampoline to just make ourselves bounce higher. Do you know what I mean? Like, he was just, he was a lot of fun. Wow. But he had his struggles, you know,

and unfortunately, unfortunately, you know, he's not with us anymore. But with that, I would like to take what I've gone through and hopefully inspire other people that, you know, through grief, through loss, like there is ways that we can find to sort of help us get through it. Because again, nobody gives you a little manual. It's like, okay, by the way, you're gonna go through this. Yeah, this is gonna happen.

I mean, and there's of course different ways that it does, but yeah, I am grateful that I've got a good community of friends, a good chosen family, some tools in my tool belt. And I still, I still dance a bit more now, you know, just to, yeah, to move. It's that thing of like two things can be true at the same time. Does that make sense? Where someone can be, I think this is why it's so important to talk about mental health because I always hear that thing of where, you know, people are like, I have a history

of depression and obsessive compulsive disorder like, I have a history of depression and obsessive compulsive disorder. And I think when I tell people if I'm going through a hard time, they're like, really? I couldn't, I wouldn't have been able to tell that because you're so like, there's a lot of masking that goes on. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're probably you and I are quite good at that. And I think that that's even what you're saying being vulnerable here today feels a bit uncomfortable, but I also want to be brave and show up in that space. You are brave.

But you know, yeah, I think I've been able, like probably being within this business as well is like, you know, put on the face and let's go. Like let's keep going. So, but you know, life is tricky. And so sometimes it smacks you around a little bit. Yeah. I mean, so well, I'm, thank you for talking about him, you know, and I think you say you didn't really know what was going on with the breathwork, but like we just, things come when we need them to, if that makes sense.

Yeah. It was interesting because I got my blood work done by this doctor and she was like, actually looking at your body, you get quite stressed out quite easily. She's like, I'm kind of almost prescribing walks in nature and breath work. And at that point I'd already started doing it. But when she told me that I was like, oh, okay, like this will actually really help me stay more balanced. That's when I started continuing it. And then that year I woke up, I think it was only years ago. What year are we in now? 2025?

The last time I checked, but it could have changed. Anyways, after I got that news from her, I woke up in January and I started that year and every week I showed up doing like a class at least once a week consistently. And I think with that, like anything, once you do something and you show up consistently, like you get stronger within it, right? If you go into the gym, you're doing squats and the more you do it, like the stronger you're gonna get. Well, it's like that vagal tone, that vagus nerve

was getting stronger and stronger. And I mean, again, not that I don't get triggered or feel stressed or like the bells and the whistles don't go off, but my response to it, like my bounce back is quicker. Where like maybe something would have taken me out for hours or days now. I'm like, okay, let me sit down. Let me do this practice. And then I'm, I can get back to where I feel more centered quicker.

So it's about, it's not, but also there's that seems to be that thing of like, it's not changing what happens in the world. Like you can't change that, but it's changing your, I guess it's instead of reacting, it's responding. Yeah. And yeah, that response is getting a bit stronger. You know what I mean? A bit more of a foundation out about self. Look, she's dancing, even as she's smoking. So I wondered if there was, because in terms of helping other people, it's so hard, I think, when you lose a family member to suicide. And I wondered if there's anyone listening who might have gone through that, because we hear a lot about how to prevent suicide,

but actually that's a really hard thing to hear if you love someone who's taken their own life, I think. And I don't think we talk enough about this, about how for some people, just as death is the end of some physical illnesses, it's also the end of some mental illnesses. Do you know what I mean? Like that is a reality that we do need to be more accepting of and to help people,

to help people process their grief. And I just wondered, Ashley, and I understand it's really hard to talk about it, but I was wondering if there's anything you would say to anyone listening who might have lost someone they love to suicide, what advice you would give them, words of comfort. Quite a tricky question

because there's so many layers within it, right? And if you have experienced it, then you will understand that it's complex and every individual is experiencing something different. But I think just loss in general is really challenging. And I mean, my advice is community is super duper important. There's amazing podcasts like yourself. There's amazing books.

There's techniques like breathwork. There's, you know, again, like somatic shaking is actually like almost in a sense, like dancing. And I love, I love somatic shaking because I feel like anybody can, you know, if you're, if you're nervous about like dancing, you don't feel like you're a good dancer. Just shake, like just literally in your kitchen. I do think activity and exercise does work in that very therapeutic way. Like for me running is, it's not about like making my body smaller or anything. It's about, it's about that sort of moving and getting my whole system, almost clearing it out. Yeah, a thousand percent. I mean, I work out as well.

I do all kinds of things and people are like, oh, you love the gym. I'm like, I love the endorphins. I love how it keeps me like sane. I mean, I love being connected to my body, but I do these things because they help me feel better. And I feel like exactly what you're saying, clearing it out, processing, letting go.

I mean, you know, it's a healthy way. It's a healthy alternative because there's other lanes you could go down. Yeah, and I have gone down that mashly, you know, so like I get that. Yeah. Talk to me about community because you talk in the book about sisterhood, your sisterhood who help you through things. And I just love, I love hearing about sisterhood. And I love hearing about all the things that you have sort of discovered. And, you know,

your mind is obviously very open to new experiences. And I think that's the, I think that is perhaps one of the number one most important things in good mental health is curiosity and not shutting shit down and going, that's not for me. Yeah. So talk to me about those kinds of things. Because obviously you've gone to breath work, you talk about humming. Yeah. I mean, again, like if you don't feel like you want to sing, like you can just like humming it out, but it's the vibration, it's the tone, it's these, these are the things that are

again stimulating that parasympathetic to, to chill us out. Um, yeah, I'm open to try things. I think, I think if you've got a desire to feel better, staying curious is a good space to be in because if you try it, you don't like it. Okay. You know, like, fine, you can move on. But if you find something that works for you, and again, this is just sort of an inspiration to help people just do more of what does make them feel good, whatever that might be.

But yeah, sisterhood, community, my chosen fam. And I mean, when I say sisterhood, also, that's a lot of my queers, my chosen fam, my sisterhood. It's just, yeah, it's people around you. It's taken me a while to really properly find that. And you know, it isn't massive. But it's my peeps that check in. You know, those ones that don't even have to know really what's going on. But it was just like, Hey, you're right. You know, just checking in like those are your peeps.

You need them don't you? Because it's, as you say, I love that idea of chosen family, which as you get older, you really do choose your family. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, yeah, I've got my mom and I've got obviously like aunts and uncles and stuff, but really it's, it's my chosen fan that has been my ride or dies. When you said you may not want to sing, I'm like, how have you said? I'm like, no, no, I want to sing. Nobody wants me to sing. No girl, let it out. And I, I do feel like I'm on a constant quest to feel good about myself.

And that is because the internal chatter, and you mentioned it in the book, speaking badly to yourself, the things we say to ourselves in our head, we would never dream of saying to even our worst enemies. Can we talk about that? Please? Talk about it because somebody told me this once as well. Like would you say that to your best friend? Like would you? And I was like, no, absolutely. I was like, why are you saying it to yourself? And my mom, my mom is definitely, I mean, if I think if you asked her like what probably

my worst habit is, is the whippin of myself. It's just like, why would does that saboteur have to be so loud and proud in there, right? Sometimes it can be challenging. It's freaking annoying if I'm honest, cause I'm just like, it'd be, I just wanna like this, why we take it so seriously? We're only here like for a limited amount of time.

Like let's just like do cartwheels and like high five and jump around and skip in the ponds. But I think that creates a lot more unfortunate chaos than we'd like to experience, which sometimes is annoying. But again, I'm coming back to this stuff that I've been doing. It does help. It helps.

And listen, I don't do this and then it's just gone forever for the entire day. I'm like, oh, that's bye, Saboteur. You're out of here. But just for like five minutes. Five minutes. When I leave my classes, I feel like I'm floating home and I look at the buildings even in London that are lit up and I'm like, what a gorgeous building that is. I love this architecture. Like how fantastic to walk down this road right now.

And that's a break. And that is a break. And that's a miracle. Girl, high five. No, I tell you what, because I love it as well. And I think that that is the thing is that I go to, I go to like AA meetings. I had to get sober and- And for me- Well done you by the way. Thank you.

And for me, those pockets in the day where for a moment I can step back and I'm, and I don't even realize it. It's like, oh, I'm not in my own head berating myself. Yeah. Or even like when I am in my own head, it's like, I could achieve that. Like that could be possible. Like I could, I could do that. I might be the right woman for the job. Like, you know what I mean? It's just that shift for just that amount of time. Like, whoo, honey, it's a nice place to be even just for a little bit. When you're not in like constant, like I don't know about you, my head is like, compare despair. Like that person's doing that. I should be doing that. I'm not the shits,

the codes. You should be doing this. You should be doing that better. The way you, why did you think that? Why did you think that Brian? Are you like, that was a waste of time. Someone else is thinking better things than you. And I'm like, oh. Interesting because you look at your social media and you wouldn't see that you see this joyful, like full of love and light, you know, blasting out of your page. Like right back at you. But you know, again, these internal battles,

like yeah, there's a lot going on behind the scenes. Sometimes so quickly. One last question. As you say in the book, we live in a world where our nervous systems are under constant bombardment. Absolutely fucking constant. What advice would you give to someone listening? Like, what are the small changes they can make to

their day so they can just find those pockets of calm in their day? Yeah, for me routine has been a big numero uno. During the weeks, because again, I've struggled with sleep, I struggle with an overactive mind, my nervous system can be all out of whack. And so getting my sleep pattern, feeling recharged for the next day, I think is an amazing way to exist. And routine for me when I first started, I was like, this is boring. I want to sit up and watch my crap telly and like be on my phone and be like TikTok. And that wasn't working for me. So I've got a routine that I stick to my phone shuts off at a certain time goes on sleep mode. I either take a bath or I do some breath work depending like and that like gets your temperature regulated.

And then I read a bit of my book. And by doing that routine, I've then created a cadence from my body and mind to understand, okay, this is time to shut down. Then I go on holiday and I screw that all up again. But I try my best to stick to it. We all need holidays, babes. I live for holidays, Chica. I mean, people are like, you're always on holiday.

I was like, I make money to travel. That's what people say to me. I'm like, and? Yeah. What else would I be? You're like, I'm not always say to me. I'm like, and? Yeah. What else would I be? Like I'm not always on holiday actually. I'm either working or on holiday. This is it.

But also that thing of like, just let people be, let people do what makes them happy. This is it. We're just all, I mean, we're judgmental on ourselves and other people, right? So let's put the judgmental crown down. Yeah. Just enjoy this ride as much as we can. On that note, Ashley Roberts,

thank you so much for coming on the life of Brian. Thanks for having me Chica. We need to move in together now. Now that's the next step. A huge thank you to Ashley. Her story is a reminder that even when you're spitting out, you're not alone and that sometimes the best thing you can do is just breathe. Ashley's book Breathwork is out now. It's packed with practical tips and real talk on managing stress, sleep and that relentless inner critic. If you loved this chat, send it to someone who needs to hear it. Look after yourself and I'll see you next time. This episode of the Life of Briny is sponsored by Asda, with thousands of prices rolling

back across the store and online. That's good honest value. That's Asda Price.