The Life Of Bryony - Gaby Roslin: There is a Crisis of Loneliness

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

This week, I’m joined by TV and radio legend, Gaby Roslin and we’re talking all about hacking happiness – especially when life feels anything but festive. Together, we chat about why Christmas and the holidays can feel really hard, what loneliness actually looks like (and how to talk about it), navigating toxic people, and why it’s okay to just let yourself feel down sometimes. Gaby shares her own struggles with shyness and self-judgment, her family’s approach to gratitude, and her tips for finding small moments of brightness when everything around you feels dark. We also dive into the joy of musical theatre, embracing your age, compassionate living – and of course, plenty of laughter. If you need a little lift (or just some solidarity), this episode is one for you. Find helpful links and helplines in the show notes below – don’t forget, you are never alone. BOOKS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODEGaby’s book, Spread the Joy, is available to buy in paperback now.LINKS TO SUPPORT GROUPSIf the content of this episode resonated with you today and you would like support, please consider the following charities:SamaritansCall 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org/ for free, 24-hour support.MindCall 0300 102 1234 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOUGot something to share? Message us on @lifeofbryonypod on Instagram.If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it – it really helps! Bryony xxCREDITS:Host: Bryony GordonGuest: Gaby RoslinProducer: Laura Elwood-CraigAssistant Producer: Tippi WillardStudio Manager: Sam ChisholmEditor: Luke ShelleyExec Producer: Jamie East  A Daily Mail production. Seriously Popular. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now, apparently it's the most wonderful time of the year. But is it really? As you know, on the life of Briney, we like to tackle the messier bits of life. So this week, I wanted to make an episode for anyone who finds the festive period one of the toughest times of the year and give you some tips on how to get through it without losing your mind. To do that, I've invited someone in who never fails to lift my mood. It's the wonderful Gabby Roslyn. of BBC Morning Live and the author of Spread the Joy. And she's here today to tell you how to hack yourself happy when you're feeling anything but.

Don't beat yourself up about being down on yourself because it happens. You are not going to have every single moment where everything is rosy. So instead of going, oh, oh no, I shouldn't be feeling like this, which is what everybody does, naturally, you just let yourself feel that's really important to feel

my chat with Gabby coming up right after this Gabby Roslyn welcome to the life of Brianie do you know I absolutely love you you're a truly good soul Oh I love you more I love you more

No more Infinity more Should we do this for like an hour No, you put the phone down. No, you put the phone down. No, I love you more. There you go. I've said it.

Now, Gabby, you, I wanted you to come in because you in my mind are the human, you're the epitome of joy and happiness. And this is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. We are told again and again, it being Christmas. But I know that lots of listeners of the life of Brian. might find it quite hard this time of year. I think lots of people find Christmas very, very difficult. Yeah, and I think that often is kind of ignored in the kind of the decorations and the tick twinkling lights and all of that. And so I wanted to do an episode with someone who is like an official spreader of joy to tell the people listening at home or in the car or whatever or in the armpit of a stranger on the tube, the bus, the

train or whatever on your morning commute and Christmas is coming and you're hungover feeling miserable you don't you're not looking forward to spending time with your family or perhaps you don't have family a lot of people are on their own and I want to get on to that you know you're feeling lonely I mean Christmas is a time when we're all supposed to be coming together and we're supposed to be feeling joyous and for a lot of people that highlights what they don't have and And so I wanted you to come in, Gabby, and spread the joy and tell people how they can find moments of joy at a time that can be really difficult. Absolutely.

And I'm all for that. And I think what worries me about Christmas is it's forced on a lot of people. And I do a lot through my radio show, to make a difference, and through morning live, and through a lot of work that we're working on behind the scenes on tackling loneliness. and Christmas sort of highlights that for a lot of people. Well, there's a crisis of loneliness, isn't it? Well, it's an epidemic proportions. And the big rise of 20 to 25-year-olds,

and there's a huge increase in them getting into the darkest, darkest places and with the darkest thoughts. And it's really important that we take back the word. I think a lot of young people, I do talk to young people's book groups, and they're 21, 22, 23. And I always say to them, if you're feeling lonely, please take back that word, say it, use it, and it's so wonderful.

Because I say, right, who's feeling lonely? And they all, on the whole, 90% of them put their hands up. And then we talk about why they're feeling lonely. And a lot of it has got to do with working from home. A lot of it has got to do with social media. Although I think that's blamed for a lot of things. I don't think it's the one thing. And I think that communication has changed as well.

And also people feel there's a lot of judgment around. There's a lot of fear. There's a lot of worry, whether it's money worries, whether it's political worries, things that are going on in the world. Because we can scroll and see news all the time. There's a lot of it. There's a lot of anti out there. So we've all got to do what we can to tackle that,

to talk about it and spreading joy isn't it's not about being fake and going everything's okay it's about actually looking for those tiny little glimmers those little moments and realizing how lucky we are not what we haven't got but what we have got yeah that is there's so many things that just came up there I want to can I talk a bit about loneliness absolutely I think the thing about this podcast and the thing I always want to do with this podcast is is break down stigma, like take negatives and turn them into positives and talk about things that we don't talk about. And yeah, just the word loneliness is has this kind of self-stigma attached to it, doesn't it? We don't want to say that we're feeling lonely because, you know,

the whole, the very, the very purpose of being human is to connect with other people. And so there's such shame attached to that feeling of loneliness. And I think we do attach it. mostly we think of elderly people, don't we? Absolutely. And we know that that has a detrimental effect in that there is an increase possibility of getting dementia. So we know that in all ages we should be having, the community is really important.

We're losing that. But in older people, we're aware of that. But I think a lot of people weren't aware that young people feel lonely. I think that makes sense. Do you know what, Gabby? I think the loneliest I felt in my life was definitely in my 20. before I met like before I had a family and I thought I was supposed to be doing

and I remember Christmases especially were just really awful where it was like you don't have all of these things why aren't you doing oh you're not going to a Christmas oh what about that oh you're not doing that oh did you need that you know it starts at so many ages there's so many levels of that but it is about comparison and it's about judgment and if we can just try and chuck that away

Oh, wouldn't the world be a better place? Yeah. I was thinking about last Christmas, we, my, I've sort of spoken about this a little bit. My best friend's husband had died of bowel cancer. I know that's a subject that we, because we were both friends with amazing Dame Deborah. And I know your father had a bowel cancer as well. And anyway, my best friend was like, I can't do, it happened in October. And she was like, I can't do Christmas.

I can't do the twinkling lights. I can't do the sitting by a tree. Understandably that she felt like that. Yeah. So me and my daughter went off to Dubai with her and her kids. And we had the least Christmassy Christmas ever. And it was about reclaiming it and going, you don't have to do those Christmassy things.

Do you know what I mean? You can define what it means to you. Totally. It's really weird. Isn't it weird that people do that. I suppose New Year's Eve is even more. What are you doing New Year's Eve? Nothing.

I'm not doing anything. What? What do you mean you're doing nothing? Oh, are you okay? Yes, I'm absolutely fine. I've never been better, actually. I'm fine. Are you going to do Christmas Eve party?

What are you doing Christmas Eve? How do you celebrate Christmas Eve? Who are you with? How many people have you got for Christmas lunch? It's all of that. It's sort of thrown at you and thrust at you. But actually, you can be on, that was my tummy. Did you hear my tummy?

I love that. That was my stomach. I wasn't sure if it was yours or mine. It was really mine. I really hope the mics picked it up. No, it was a property. It was... It's incredibly...

It's sung. Yeah, well, it felt lonely. No, it was singing. Because I would sing any time I possibly can. What's your favourite song to sing? No, any... Can't you... Never choose a favourite.

I can't. I feel guilty to all the other ones I like. True. But it's a musical theatre. Yeah, okay. This is the other thing. Sorry, this podcast is jumping all over the place. That's my...

In a chaotic, joyous way, which I love. I didn't know. that you are also, I'm going to describe you as this, a musical theatre star. Well, one musical theatre show, that's very kind of you. One more than I've done. But no, it was something I always, I've loved musical theatre. When I was three, I wanted to be a TV presenter. That was all I've ever wanted to do in my whole life.

I still want to do it. I love it. And I'm not ashamed to say that it's my lifeblood. I love, love, love doing what my job. I am the luckiest person. But also, I wanted to be in a musical. And I trained to the singer. and then I always wanted to be in a musical

and I trained at an acting school I went to Guildford School of Acting to become a presenter because I didn't, they weren't presenting schools so I thought oh I'll go and do that for three years and then while I was there I just thought I want to do musical one day I wanted to do musical but they had not make me a dance and then I auditioned for Mama Morton in Chicago and I got the part and there was one dance move

which was a turn and I personally did say please what if I turn the wrong way. They took the turn out. But you don't, you dance a lot on, on, on the socials. That's not being judged. That's not trying to learn right, right, left and left and twist, twist, twist and curl turn. So you like just freestyling. I just like making a fool of myself. But we're not going to see you on strictly. Never. That's a quick never. Really? Yes, never. I love the show. Never will. I don't want, I dare I am talking about judgment. I don't want to stand up on a live Saturday night show. You're really crap, I give you one out of ten. Oh, thank you very much. I just wouldn't like it. I also am very, very shy, which you know, because you and I've talked about it a lot. And I'm very open about it because people don't talk about shyness. This is a thing, Gabby. I think lots of people listening will be surprised to discover that you're shy. I think not enough people talk about it. It's really weird that it's one of those, I suppose it's a mental health issue. Somebody, I didn't realize that until somebody said to me, that's all about mental health.

health. And I said, yes, it is. But people don't talk about shyness. It's sort of this, it's a really, it's a sort of hidden thing that people are ashamed of, embarrassed of, and also shy about. So I suppose it's the, you know, it's the double thing. But I was unbelievably shy as a child. And so, and people used to label you. So they'd say, oh, what do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a TV presenter. But you're very shy. And then you'd go off and you'd say, I'm very shy, but I want to be a TV presenter. But I was. I mean, I was unbelievably shy and I still am.

And as a teenager, I remember going to a party and I was about 16. I mean, I was very unrock and roll. There's nothing rock and roll about me at all, but at 16, going to a party. And my friend, Anthony, was there. And people were talking to me and I just thought, my mouth won't open. My mouth wouldn't open because I was so shy. and so I went to my friend Anthony who said, Anthony, if somebody

asked me what I want to do, I'm going to say I'm a television presenter and they're going to look at me and they go, but you're so shy. So I'm not saying anything. And it was sort of a way of people not saying, oh, you're so shy. But I was self-conscious, very self-conscious, very shy.

And then as an adult, because I love what I do, that's me, the real me. People say you put on a front. I mean, you know me in real life as well. So that's me. But I will also admit that I'm very shy. So the example I give that says it all as an adult. So I've been with my husband 20 years.

And we've been seeing each other about three months or so. And he said, oh, I've got a friend's party on Saturday nights at his house. I'm like, no, I can't go. He said, no, I'll be there. I mean, that's great. That's lovely. I don't, I can't, I really can't and I get, I got myself very wound up

and I got an upset stomach and that day he was saying, come on, we're gonna, I'm not, please don't make me go. And he understood and he went, okay, you don't have to come. No, please don't make me go. I really don't want to go. And then he said to me, oh, it's a fantastic party

and he was coming with me the next night to an event at the Albert Hall for a chat, one of my charities and we were sitting there supporting the charity. And about seven minutes before Curtain up, and there were lots of big, huge acts coming on, big bands, very famous stars. They came back to talk to me and they said, I'm really sorry, but our emce for tonight's got food poisoning. Is there any chance you could do it? I mean, yeah, of course. So I went on stage

for two and a half hours with no rehearsals, you know, interviewing, introducing the biggest music acts in the world and comedy and stand up and then came in the interval, came back, saw my husband, who was my boyfriend then. I said, you're okay? And he said, how, how can you just stand in the Albert Hall? I said, because that's what I love. That's what I love. Don't love going to a party. I find that so relatable. I would much rather stand up on stage in front of hundreds of people than have to talk to one at a party. Yeah, exactly. I could just get shy. But I found ways, So in the book, there are ways about, there are tricks, nice tricks that you can use for yourself. And it's the thing about when I walk into a party, I mean, I don't drink.

So a lot of people find that their quick way when they're shy or something is, oh, well, I'll quickly have a drink because it's Dutch courage. It doesn't help because it sort of makes you more anxious. You've got to find your drink. Then you get anxious about it. And then you get anxious the next day. What did I say? I'm not sure. what did I say? Did I say the right thing? What will they think? So I don't drink. So I go into

a party and I will find one person that I don't know and I will not interview them but ask them what their name is and what they do. And if you've suddenly got somebody and it's about listening and you and I've talked about this as well, but it's about listening. And if you listen to that person's answers, you've suddenly got a friend, somebody that you can go with and you can say, I feel really shy. I don't know anybody here. And if you're open about it, they'll maybe take you around or they might say I feel shy too. So there are ways of, as getting older, you do learn ways to cope. That's my party trick.

It's not like doing a dance. No, exactly. Oh God, I really don't want to be here. I'm terrified. And they go, what? Yeah. Are you? Okay, so spread the joy.

So what would you say to anyone who is sitting there right now, feeling very lonely at Christmas? What are the things that they can do? to try and sort of hack themselves. We like to say, we like to talk about biohacking and life hacking. How do we joy hack? Okay, the first thing, if you're lucky enough to know one person, just one person, call them, talk.

I always, always talk about talking. It's so important. If you feel that there's nobody you can talk to, Samaritans are there. 116, 1, 2, 3, call them. They're there. But if you've got just one person, don't text, don't WhatsApp, don't Snapchat, whatever it is, actually pick up the telephone and have that interaction and just say hello. It just like all those songs talk about, but it's true. Just start with hello. So I really, I urge people to talk to somebody. If there's nobody, there are amazing charities. There's obviously there's mind. There's all sorts of charities and they have help lines as well. well. But all of that is really, really important. But there'll be fear around that as well. So a lot of

people have fear. So just take a moment and it's that quick just to realize how lucky you are and to look at one thing, one thing that you have, not what you haven't got, but what you have got. And it might be as simple as a, you know, we're very lucky to have roofs over our heads. I mean, I know you do it as well, but at Christmas it's really important in the work that, you know, we do with crisis and with all of those charities and the work that they do is important. But just think, look, I'm inside. I've got a roof over my head or look out of the window and look at a tree. Listen to a bird.

I know they've now they've done scientific studies about this, but listening to bird song can calm you within 20 seconds. So all you need to do is listen to some birdsong and you feel karma. You can't help it because also if you concentrate on that, it will take your mind away from the fear and the worry. But only need to do it for a second. It's not something that you have to say, I'm going to do this all day and I'm going to be fine and everything's going to be okay. Don't fake it.

Don't fake it at all. The other thing is, again, there's science behind this and I talk about it in the book, is smiling. Yes, so you, that's the first. The first thing you do when you wake up. And it's the thing I tell everybody to do. It's putting, before you reach for your phones, before you do anything, is bringing your cheeks up into a smile like you're doing now.

And the minute it tells the brain that it's going to be, that everything's good. And then you get up, you look in the mirror and you smile at yourself. Never do that. The amount of people that since I've been talking about this, people say, I never smile at myself, I just look at my roots or I look at my spots or I look at my wrinkles or I think, oh, I wish my neck. Oh, I don't know. Oh, today. Oh, well, that guy I don't like in the office. No, smile at yourself. This is so interesting because, okay, so first of all, I want to talk about the gratitude thing because I do think that I was always very cynical about

gratitude lists. You know, when I got sober and they said to me, they being the 12-step people that, you know, most of us have to get sober with said, you've got to do a gratitude list every day. I thought, oh, fuck off. I don't, I'm not, oh, no, and I remember being in rehab and the counsellor saying to me, you know, now, you, you know, you, you're one day, so when you, when you're drinking, you become used to huge, um, dollops of dopamine. So you have to get, you have to, like, really have to hit high dopamine level things to make yourself happy. Whereas after a while, if you're sober, you will find that you get dopamine from, you know, the tweet of a bird or the smile of a child. And I went, that sounds rubbish.

But it's true. It's true. I do. And I do gratitude lists now. And I've been doing them for probably about four years. I do them almost every day. Not every day. Let's be.

And it does scientifically, and we know this, biologically, just rewire your brain to look for the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives. It's reworking things. Yeah. And reframing. And I think reframing, that's actually the key. And when you look at it in that way, instead of crash tutelists or whatever. No, but it's also, if you look at what you have got, not what you haven't got. Yeah. It's so, it's completely suddenly, oh. It does. And you just start doing it. Like it doesn't, you know, the point of power is in the present. Doesn't matter if you haven't done it. It doesn't matter if you think it might be a load of old rubbish. Just start doing it today in little ways because it will over time. build up and make a massive difference to your life. But also that thing of looking in the mirror and going, oh, God, yeah, look at my roots, look at my wrinkles, look at how ugly I am. Don't do that. Look how fat I am. Like, no, stop this women. It's because it's women. I mean, I mean,

and then men do it as well. Men do it as well. But I think most of our listeners are women. And I feel that we have also been programmed as women to focus on, you know, we are literally bought up to look at the things that we don't like about ourselves and told that we need to make ourselves better, you know? Yeah, the amount of times that journalists, what don't you like about yourself? Yeah, that question, what's your least favorite thing about yourself? Or what would you change nothing? I'm not going to change anything because I'm really lucky to be alive, you know?

Absolutely. And so I do think I started a few years ago reframing and capturing, and you talk about this in Spread the Joy, like just capturing, just catching yourself as you start to say things that are negative to yourself. Like, the things we say to ourselves are, we wouldn't say to our worst enemies often. No, never. And also just, you can stop it.

Yeah. You actually, it's in you. You can stop it. I want to ask you, Gabby, how you stay so relentlessly. And I want to ask you, Gabby, how you stay so relentlessly. the word relentlessly positive because you are in a relentlessly toxic industry I think people would think of you know television radio like a no I mean I have to say do you know what I I would say in the vulnerable years because I'm only I'm 33 every birthday yeah yeah yeah so you'll

it's very bizarre how people always want to write my age I do find it odd and it's always women female journalists always want to write Gabby Roslin and then my age but then never write the man's age. So there was an article recently, and I talked to them, I was talking to the journalist about it. And I said, why are you right my age? And you're talking about Chris Simmons and you didn't write his age. So nobody's interested in his age. Why are they interested in my age? I'm 33. You look 33. You do. But I'm lucky to be alive. It doesn't matter about the number. I do think women's, the obsession with women's age does piss me up. So Sarah Cox, who recently ran five marathons in five.

days. And halfway through, I think she was like patched in to Trevor Nelson, who was in the Radio 2 studios presenting his show. And he said, oh, Sarah, you're doing this for women of a certain vintage. And she was like, what the? Like, I'm 50. It's not, you know, it's not that bigger deal. We're just out there doing things. But it's when people say you look good for your age. Can you not just say you look good? And also it's like age, like, and also she ran. Yeah. Forget the age. She ran. She did it. She raised vast amounts for children in need. Nearly 10 million quid. I think, yeah, it is also that focusing on, wow, a woman of 50. It's like what? Or a woman of 60 or a woman of whatever. It's like, it's this ridiculous notion.

Also, I think aging is the best thing that can ever happen to us. How lucky are we? We've both lost dear friends. I mean, my mom was very young. I've lost too many friends. I've lost too many friends. I lost three friends at 40 and they were 40 and it's four friends in fact and it's just that's just too young so we're lucky look how lucky we are yeah we are and I

and I think there we are I'm not going to I'm not going to obsess about the cellulite on my ass and I love the way you do all that you are you're fantastic and inspiring but just it's very funny but can I just say something like the word lucky another thing that journalists always said over the years

that when I was doing Saturday morning tell you when I was doing the big breakfast all the things and children in need they were also I'd always say I'm so lucky and then they and without fail they say oh you always say you're lucky

and I used to say I'm so sorry I shouldn't and then I stopped when mum died and mum was only 62 and I remember going on Richard and Judy's show and I said I'm never apologising again for saying how lucky I am because I am.

I'm not apologising for it, but I'm very lucky. Yeah. So how do you, because there is a section in the book which I wanted to just focus on about because Christmas is also a time that can highlight toxic relationships.

Yes, absolutely. You talk about like reading yourself of negative people. Absolutely. about a time in your career where you were surrounded by, I mean, it's only a little, you know, negative, how do you, this is what I wanted to get at, how do you remain, sort of upbeat where, if you're surrounded by snakes, essentially, because that's what I mean. You know, well, you know what it is? It's being able to walk away. And when you're younger,

you don't realize you have the power to say no. It's the same as wanting, you know, going out. If somebody says, what are you doing on New Year's Eve? I'm not. I'm staying in. I'm watching the BBC and the fireworks. Are you not going to party? It's the same as the, you know, when you were younger, people say, what are you doing on Saturday night?

And they think, I haven't quite a thing to do it. But the same as being able to say no. So say no. But also, if there are toxic people around you at work, in family, in a friendship group, whatever, is just being aware that they're toxic and taking yourself away from those toxic people and also not bitching about them

and not going away and going, oh, you know, she's not very nice. That's not going to help anybody because then you're just behaving like they are. But also, you've got to remember that if they're toxic or if they're a bully or whatever it is, it's always about them. It's never about you.

The bully has got, something going on in their life. And it's, again, it's reframing. It's thinking of it like that. And not being patronising and feeling sorry for them, but taking yourself away out of that situation. I know it's very difficult in a lot of situations, especially at work. And one of the things I say in the book is get out, get out at lunchtime, get out in your coffee break, whatever it is, go outside. Because if that person's standing there by the coffee machine, giving saying lying about you or saying something horrible or being nasty about somebody else don't join in get out walk outside even in the rain shake it off yeah just you know i walk

everywhere i love love love walking just getting outside looking around you don't go on your phone just get out look at the sky take a deep breath and think okay i can do this yeah i think that's really important and then the other thing is that you're you make the point of in in spread the joy which I think is really crucial, is that not only just do you get the choice to remove yourself from situations or say no to things, you also have the opportunity as an adult to have your own definitions of success. And you talk about how, again, we compare ourselves to other people the whole time, you know, and like, well, I haven't, you know, I haven't got this bigger house or I don't earn this much money or I don't, you know, so therefore I am not a success.

And you sort of make the point in Spread the Joy of saying, well, hang on, like those aren't the only metrics of success. And we can look at different things. And again, encouraging people to reframe how they view words like success. Absolutely. I remember many years ago doing a TV show and I was in the end, we were filming, we just finished filming and we were with a lot of young people in Bolton and lovely welcoming pub that we were in and we were all chatting. And they were asking me how I started

and how I got into what I was doing. And then I said, you know, as you do, what is it that you want to do? And the amount of them, these young people who said, I want to be famous. And I said, for what? I just want to be famous. because I want to be rich and I'm successful.

And it's just, and it always, we had long conversations well until night talking to these young people. They were lovely. And then I just want to break it down why people think that if you're rich, that means you're successful. It doesn't necessarily mean you're successful. It also doesn't mean you're necessarily happy as we know. But success is doing okay in a friendship.

That's a success. walking not you know smiling yourself in the morning and going for a walk and going outside and having some fresh air and realizing what you want to cope with that day you've made a success of that moment it's not just about money it's not the size of your car the size of your house how many this that's all the others that you've got that's not success and i think again it's all about judgment i think there's too much judgment out there and we judge ourselves too much okay yeah so let's can we just talk about that for a bit, because it's the self-judgment that actually really gets up.

I'm going to just be honest here. The self-judgment is what really gets me every time. You know, that way that we talk to ourselves, the constant internal, jabbering way. And I wondered if you had any tips for, I'm definitely very perimenopausal and all that. Like, how do you get through those moments when you are. quite down on yourself. Like what's your, what's your sort of? The first thing is, don't beat yourself up about being down on yourself because it happens. You are not going to have every single moment where everything is rosy. So you're going to have really crap moments, hopefully not crap days

and hopefully not crap weeks or months, but you are going to have moments where you don't feel great about things. So instead of going, oh, oh no, I shouldn't be feeling like this, which is what everybody does naturally, you just let yourself feel. That's really important to feel. And I think it's rather strangely, it's that's been pushed away. No, no, no, don't feel it. Don't feel it. Just you just carry up. No, no, because that's also bad for you. So how, be aware of those feelings. So first of all, be aware of those feelings. Try and work out where they're. come from and then think of another way of looking at it. So when you're being negative about something, I mean, you know, I do it just like everybody else. So there'll be, if I've,

usually it's to do with work. So if I've done an interview that hasn't gone the way I wanted or if I'm going up for a job and I haven't got it, it's as every performer, whatever you want to, you know, entertainer, whatever banner you want to put across it, that does, you think, oh, But you know that everything, I truly, truly, truly believe this. And I have done since I was little. Everything happens for a reason. I think my parents instilled that in me as well. Absolutely.

The sliding doors moments, whatever, however you want to phrase it. So do you, because I find one of the things that I have found most helpful as I've got older, because I definitely was not born. I definitely did not grow up with that attitude of, oh, it's okay, everything happens for a reason. And I definitely was brought up with an attitude of you need to be good at everything, you know, paralyzing perfectionism. Luckily, I didn't have Paris either.

But what I found useful as an adult is this kind of this feeling that, well, that wasn't meant for me. And it's just making way for what it's. Yes, it's the same sort of thing. It's exactly the same sort of thing. And I think, you know, if you're having a bad moment, like we were saying, feeling that, knowing that, also big, big, big thing, which I'll keep saying, I'm sorry, but is talking. So if you are feeling really awful about something, if you're worried, if you're scared, if you're nervous, if you're feeling lonely, if you're feeling that you can't go on, please, please, please, please talk to somebody. I mean, it can be, no matter how small that thing is, it can be huge to you.

So, and no somebody, hopefully you've got one person that's not going to judge you and say, what do you mean you're worried about that? You want some to say, okay, okay, tell me about it. I feel like you, everyone needs Gabby Roslyn in their lives. I really do. Like, you're such a ray of sunshine. That's so lovely of you. I love that you've just run with it as well, you know.

I'm very lucky that my parents were like that. I don't take myself very seriously. I never have done ever, ever, ever. I was the school clown. You know, I was the person that walked into the door just to make people laugh if they were feeling worried. But have you ever had times where you wake up and feel fearful and feel serious about things?

Yeah, I mean, what's happening in the world and politics and all of that, I do. But then I think about all the good people out there. So I do reframe that. But that's how I've always been. If there was something bad going on, I'll look at the good bits. And my grandmother was like that, my dad's mother. She was an amazing, amazing, amazing woman. She was the first female.

What was the game she used to play? Well, she always, and taught me the glad game. You know, like Pollyanna and just the happy game and all of it. And my dad at night, if I was going, you know, going at bedtime, he's going, happy dreams, happy dreams, pretty. dreams lovely dreams so you know it was never we never weren't a very serious household but um and he was a broadcaster as well so i sort of had that in my blood but but it's always i've always been the person that's tried to make people laugh i was never going to do stand-up but the reason i wanted to do

television was because i was obsessed with television because it made me happy and i wanted to make people happy. I wanted to make people feel like I felt. So I thought, if I do that, then I'm going to make people laugh and be silly and just that's why I wanted to do it. It was not about fame. None of that rubbish. You just want to make people happy. Yeah. Okay. So I want you to speak to someone who's listening, speak directly to the person that is listening who is not happy, who feels really unhappy and fearful and anxious right now. What would you say to them, Gabby, that there is somebody who cares. There is absolutely somebody who cares about you. You can do whatever you want that is going to help you to be honest

with yourself. So if to be honest with yourself is taking yourself away from a situation, do it now. If what you want is to feel fulfilled in life, then you're then maybe you're not in the right job. Maybe you're not in the right relationship, whatever it is. But also, please, please, please, can you just look outside of the thing that's troubling you and realize how lucky you are? You are alive.

You can put a smile on your face. You can talk to somebody. There is always, always somebody there. As I said at the very beginning, there are Samaritans of their 24-7 and there are many other charities. but also life can get better. And there are really, really, really good people around.

Look for the good people, walk away from the bad people. And please, please, please, please, please, remember how lucky you are to wake up in the morning. And I just hope you feel that tomorrow as well and you want to wake up tomorrow morning as well. And if you feel that you don't want to, then please, please speak to somebody because there's always somebody who will listen. Gabby Roslyn, thank you so much.

put a load of links in the show notes. Please. But places where you can speak to people who can help. And also if you're lonely, please use the word lonely. Say to somebody, I feel lonely. I feel alone. Do you know how this all started? Because a friend of mine about four years ago, she called me up.

And she's in her 40s and she called me up. And she said, we're chatting away. And then I said, how are you? And she said, I feel so lonely. I can't believe I just said that. I didn't realize I felt lonely. And then she burst in tears. And I said, right, let's own that word.

And let's make sure that everybody else who feels like you can say it. Have you ever felt lonely? Not lonely. Sometimes I'll feel on my own. So not lonely. So I'm very lucky about that. but I'll feel on my own. So when mum and dad both had cancer at the same time

in different hospitals, different cancers, and mum had lung cancer and was dying of lung cancer and dad had bowel cancer. And there were times where I'd go from one hospital to the next and then I'd go to work and sometimes the press weren't being very nice or whatever. And I just think, you don't know what's really going on. And I had friends that I could talk to.

My best friend has been my best friend since we were 16. You've got a lot of compassion, I think. You don't want people to feel. I don't want people to feel sad. I don't want an animal to be caged. I don't want somebody to get a gun and shoot in that. I'm very anti-trophy hunting. I'm very anti-people going out and just are narcissists. And it's all about them, them, them. It should always, it shouldn't, they shouldn't sing. The song I really don't like. Do you know one song I really don't like? Whether they're, uh, on radio, television in showbiz, whether they're in the office, whether they're a lawyer, whether they're a shop assistant, whether they're a street cleaner, whether they're a postperson or a police person. I don't like one song. It's the me, me, me, me song. What's the me, me song? It's all about me. It's all about me. And I think there is a huge rise in narcissism. Do you? Oh, yes. They're really, well, we can see around the world and world leaders. And I just think, be more compassionate.

Just be kind. And people also find that word a little bit strange now, don't they? Because they always say, oh, good. Yeah, well, I think narcissists have weaponised it. Yeah. But just be kind. Be kind. Yeah.

Can you spot a narcissist at like 20 paces? I think we all can. Yeah, I don't, I'm not, no, I think I'm quite, I'm quite bad at spotting narcissists. They're quite drawn to me. Oh, really? That's a whole other podcast. But I've had to learn that. Anyway, I can tell you that you are definitely not a narcissist, Gabby Roslin.

You are an absolute joy. Thank you so much for coming and spreading the joy on The Life of Brine. You, like, fit right in here. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Gabby. She's going to be back on Friday for our special bonus episode, The Life of You. And then, now don't be sad, everyone, but we're going to be taking a little festive break, as I hope you will be too. We'll be back with another sensational conversation, if I say so myself, on the 5th of January.

But in the meantime, don't forget to subscribe, follow, rate, rave about us to your friends, but most of all, keep being you.