The Life Of Bryony - "I Needed Someone Good for Me Mentally and Emotionally." Mental Health Check-In with Helen Flanagan

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

Welcome to Life of Bryony, where we explore life’s messier moments. GUEST: HELEN FLANAGAN In this week’s episode, I’m joined by actress Helen Flanagan for an honest mental health check-in, where we talk about her struggles with OCD, navigating motherhood, and finding peace after toxic relationships. Helen opens up about living with intrusive thoughts, the weight of “pure OCD,” and how it impacted her self-worth and sense of identity, especially post-pregnancy. She also shares candid insights into learning to love herself and breaking free from the pressure to be perfect. This open conversation covers the importance of a supportive relationship, the courage it takes to be vulnerable, and how Helen redefined her mental health journey after years of self-doubt. She leaves us with a powerful reminder: we’re not alone in our struggles, and we all deserve to find someone who’s good for us mentally and emotionally. Tune in to hear Helen’s journey of resilience, self-compassion, and her path to healing. GET IN TOUCH: 🗣️ If you want to get in touch, I’m only a text or a voice note away! Send your message to 07796657512, starting with LOB. 💬 WhatsApp Shortcut - https://wa.me/447796657512 📧 Or email me at [e-mail] Don’t forget to share this podcast with someone who you think might benefit from it!  Bryony xx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What is the other side of adulthood? Death. Welcome to The Life of Bryony, the podcast where we tackle life's messiest moments and uncover the strength and the joy within them. Today's episode is very much a mental health check-in with the wonderful Helen Flanagan. Helen, many of you will recognise from Coronation Street and she recently did a turn on Celebs Go Dating. She's been incredibly open about her experiences with OCD and ADHD and I really think this is one of her most revealing interviews yet. And I remember getting OCD intrusive thoughts of me and how fucking ridiculous

I love my children more than anything and would die for them. That I was racist. And I got all these horrific, my OCD, just thoughts was getting so bad that I remember just going to my mum's and absolutely firing my eyes out.

From navigating the pressures of fame to confronting her deepest struggles, Helen Flanagan, right after this. I am so looking forward to this half-term break. We're going to Dorset and I'm looking forward to one of my favourite things, and I'm sure this will resonate with you, dear listener, is not setting the alarm on my phone. I'll probably wake up earlier than I usually do, but it's having no pressure to do anything. And I can't wait. And it's been a particularly busy half term. My daughter started secondary school, obviously, so we're crawling towards it and we're just going to hang out and have lots of fun and have no

structure to proceedings. And probably I'm going to throw myself into some cold sea. Anyway, if you are listening to this the day it comes out, which I know you will be because you are my favourite people, you'll know that this week it is Halloween. Oh, yes. Halloween, which is like, I don't know, as a mum, it's become a more important date in the diary than it was sort of 15 years ago for me when it was basically just an excuse to dress up like a sexy cat. I always think of like the Mean Girls, is it Mean Girls? Where Lindsay Lohan turns up and she dresses up as a scary zombie bride while everyone else is like in skimpy outfits and animal ears. this halloween

it is for my daughter anyway half term so we're going to be away and we're going away with friends and we're going to have a halloween party because we're going to be in the middle of nowhere so there will be no trick-or-treating but my daughter has been very she's actually going a share from clueless i know like the sophistication of this outfit is quite amazing. So she was like, mum, you all have to wear Halloween costumes as well. And I was like, okay, fine. And I'm going as I don't know how to describe this. I'm going as a wacky inflatable tube man. And I'm waving around my arms, you know, like on the side of a motorway that tell you that like there's a petrol station or like a diner. The reason for this is I'd taken our children to what I call the kids casino, an arcade, essentially, in like this big place called Gravity in a shopping centre in South London.

And it's got like bowling and go-karting and VR stuff and they went on this VR rabbit thing and they looked and I was doing an impression of what our two children look like swaying and she said you look like a wind tunnel man and I was like that's what I'm going as for Halloween this is what life has come to at the age of 44 and I will of course be sure to post it on my Instagram on Thursday no filters if you like this episode we think you'll love this this week on the life of briny I'm joined by the wonderful Helen Flanagan we'll be chatting about how she's navigated the ups and downs of adhd and postnatal depression while balancing life in the public eye and motherhood struggling to find balance or feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges

this episode is very much for you the life of briny available now very much for you. The Life of Briony, available now. This week, I've been reflecting on how important it is to check in with ourselves and see how we're doing. This week, I got to Tuesday and I was really ratty and really, really overwhelmed. And usually what I would do is just have a sort of breakdown there and then. But I'm getting better as I get older, going, I'm really grateful for this feeling of overwhelm because it is a sign from my brain that I need to have a break.

My guest, Helen Flanagan, has been checking in with her mental health for many years. She started acting at a young age and you probably know her as Rosie Webster from Coronation Street. You may have seen her recently on Celebs Go Dating 2. Today though, Helen is here to share her story beyond the screen about her struggles with pure OCD, with eating disorders, with postnatal depression and ADHD, and how those experiences have shaped her as a mother and as a person. I had such a great catch up with her. I hope you enjoy my chat with Helen. Helen Flanagan, thank you for coming on.

Oh, thank you so much, Brian. You know, honestly, it's an honour to be invited onto your podcast because you know how much I love your book. No Such Thing As Normal, normal it really really helped me when I was really poorly after having Matilda I think when you're writing books like that which come from like this dark place it's like all the books I've ever written are about hoping that some of the darkness might help other people who are in that moment so when you reached out to me to say that it had helped it means so much but we sort of started this kind of like voice note friendship yeah yeah and then I think when I struggled again with my OCD I was messaging on Instagram saying I was struggling again with like puro OCD I think it was your book as well actually makes me a little bit emotional thinking about it

because it was honestly when I think about my struggles like pure OCD probably was like the worst time of my life because you feel don't you like you're losing your mind yeah and you can't talk to anyone about it the shame yeah and you feel shameful and you feel like you can't talk to anyone like I remember I couldn't speak to my boyfriend at the time Scott about it and you know and i kind of had the things as well when you have like really bad like pure ocd intrusive thoughts you feel like i can't turn on this because i could have my baby taken off yeah yeah you know so your book for me i was going to the priory as an outpatient for therapy and my mum was amazing she mum has always been good with like mental health things but your book was the first honestly I read this book and I was like oh my fucking god I'm not mental like I read the book and honestly that's

why I've been a bit upset because I've read this book and I've been like oh my fucking god I'm not mental like why didn't someone give me this book when I was 10 because I remember from being like a little girl probably from about 10 I would have struggled with like really bad OCD intrusive thoughts and I just thought that maybe I was a bit mad and I would never be able to tell anyone you started on Corrie didn't you when you were 10 which is a really young time to be so about the same time you started getting these intrusive thoughts yeah I remember I've had them ever since I've been like really young I remember I would go and my mom has always been amazing actually with like mental health stuff I remember going to my mom going mom I could keep thinking this and did I remember telling all these things when she was in

the when she was in the bath telling her all the you know the things that were in my head and my mom was amazing going no no that's normal sometimes we have these thoughts I was very lucky that I had my mum but I remember feeling like when I had Matilda I remember kind of thinking like oh I felt sorry for her for having a mum like me thinking oh she deserves so much better like I kind of feel like with Matilda as well I'm kind of on guard with her because I kind of feel like I don't know but I think she might be a little bit like me I think she might have a little bit of OCD because I mean obviously you know I've got respect for my daughter so I wouldn't say the kind of things you know that she said to me she she said something to me and I thought oh I think she's like me I think she

might have a bit of OCD like that I mean I'm fucking haven't got OCD with cleaning I mean my house is an absolute tip but I mean I have the OCD intrusive thoughts obsessive OCD intrusive thoughts that I find if I get myself that mindset can really torture me, you know. So can we go back to when you were 10? Because you've spoken about ADHD and we spoke, there's a lot of, I always think whenever I talk about my own story, I'm like, you know, I talk about OCD and then you've spoken about PMDD as well. You know, there's a lot of like acronyms. Basically, you're fucked. But like, I think it's, no, you're, do you know what? You are not fucked.

And this is the thing. And this is why this conversation is so important because there's going to be people listening right now, Helen, who are like, oh my God, thank God. And if that beautiful woman that I've grown up watching on Corrie, who's like you know you're so fucking like lovely and sexy that i'm not coming on to you by the way as i know i know that you're now taken i would have a few weeks ago i would have done um you

know like if you've experienced all that then it is that kind of relief of like oh i'm not mad or i am mad but I'm not bad. You know? Yes. Yeah. So going back to when you were 10, can you talk a bit about what those thoughts were or what was going through your head? I used to get like really, really dark, like OCD intrusive thoughts that were really quite

awful. But I think my kind of OCD thoughts that I've had, well, obviously it's hard to talk about because you don't want people thinking that you're absolutely mental but obviously I know this is a safe space because it's a safe space and we've done and we've done episodes on this and I think it's sometimes it's like an incredibly brave thing to be able to sort of name the thoughts or the kind of like it's hard but I felt the first time I was like my OCD isn't the type that makes me clean it's the type that tells me I might be a serial killing paedophile and when I stand up on stage and say that people go oh and I go I'm not obviously a serial killing paedophile

but I would say that and the fact that I can even make jokes about it now is fucking revolutionary because there were times in my life where I couldn't look at words like that. I had to find different words to sort of in a newspaper or something. I had to neutralize them with positive good words or, you know. So I find that there's like immense power in going, fuck you, OCD. Yeah, yeah, there is. And I find your book just so empowering. Like a lot of kind of OCD thoughts

I had were say for example I remember being out I think it was struggling postnatally I remember being on a night out my first night out since having Matilda and I remember I had was wearing red lipstick and I saw there was this guy and he had like a red lipstick mark on his face. And for some reason, my OCD, when I got home, told me that I slept with him in the toilet. Yeah. And that I cheated on Scott. Right. I didn't even go near the guy. I just saw a red lipstick mark on his face.

Oh, my God. That is so bringing back fear. Those intrusive thoughts on nights out where I was like I had sex with this many people or something happened to me in the toilet yeah yeah yeah so then I would think like the day after I'm thinking oh my god I've just cheated on my boyfriend like I love my boyfriend like you know and I can't exactly go turn to Scott I mean I absolutely adore the father of my children I was with him for a really long time but I think one of the problems with me and Scott is he didn't understand he didn't try to understand

really but he's not a bad guy he had a lot of his own stuff going on but I felt like he wasn't there for me a lot with those kind of things so I think that was one of the reasons we broke down a lot but I could exactly turn to him and go babe I keep getting these thoughts that I uh shag someone on the toilet. They shag someone in the toilet. Like, what the fuck? I mean, my boyfriend as well, sportsman, very fucking straight down the, you know, like. And so those were some lines. And then I remember after I had Charlie,

I remember I didn't think he was my baby. Okay. For quite a while because I remember he was born with like a lot of like dark hair. And next to me in the ward there was this asian couple he's making me laugh now but i thought for some reason that the midwife would have swapped my baby because i was confused i had this baby with black hair um but that wasn't obviously the midwife was absolutely lovely this was my ocd because just playing up so those kind of things i remember

saying to scott afterwards going i really don't think he's our baby and then it took me probably about two weeks to realize actually this is my baby and it looks exactly like his dad so I'm going to tell you something and I think I have written about this but I when I was pregnant with my daughter I became convinced that she was not my husband's yeah and my brain was like what if she and i know that this is a really common form of ocd because i i wrote about it in my book mad girl and a lot of women have got in touch with me people will have had these same intrusive mad thoughts that ocd delivers this for me just seems so normal to me so So what you're telling me, I really get it. So how old is Matilda now? So Matilda is nine. But I remember, you know, talking about those kind of OCD thoughts. I mean, I don't know if I might want to cut this later, because it might be a bit too deep. But obviously, my beautiful children that I love more than

anything are mixed race. And I remember getting OCD intrusive thoughts, I mean, how fucking ridiculous I love my children more than anything would die for them that I was racist and I got all these horrific my OCD just thoughts was getting so bad that I remember just going to my mom's and absolutely fucking crying my eyes out like absolutely breaking my heart because I just was like I've kind of got my heart ahead like know, my kids have so much better mum than me and all these. I was honestly like, I think it can, if you don't, you know, I think. I'm going to take your hand now. But like also it is well being a record like that.

I don't want to move too far away from the microphone. The other thing that OCD does is it attaches to morality and goodness. It's often known as like doubting disease but it's also confessional like I often find myself saying I thought this is you know like questioning whether my thoughts are right or whether my thoughts are kind of like appropriate or am I a bad person for thinking this and it's really interesting because I know that what OCD will do is it attaches itself to like the big issues of the day quite often so during the you know that all of the you know Black Lives Matter stuff and and racism again that's another fear am I this am I you know have I done something terrible I think me too as well that's another

one that OCD will grab it like basically whatever OCD will say whatever the worst thing in the world to be is you're that yeah yeah I know totally I mean I remember I really used to struggle sometimes as an actress as well because I would do my lines and then I remember I'd get and everyone by Helen are you okay I had to get really hot and bothered because I used to think that I wasn't going to say my lines. I used to think I was just going to come out with something absolutely fucking horrific, just say something really awful. And everyone would be like, oh my God, what's Helen just said? Because my OCD would be like, you're not going to say your lines. You're going to fucking say something really awful.

So what was it like to be, you know, like, I can't imagine. to be you know like I can't imagine so you have this stuff going on in your head you know you have this kind of condition which is hard enough for anyone in there I didn't really realize Bryony what I had until I read your book but how did you but I was it must have made your teenage years like that and I wonder actually if there is a link between the fact that you were doing very public you were very exposed I mean like you were you were doing very public you were very exposed I mean like you were you know people knew who you were whether that your brain was trying to create this sort of almost protect you in a way that didn't work if that makes sense like I always think of OCD as a safety mechanism that's gone wrong so it's trying to keep you safe but it's

actually making you feel much less safe. Yeah. And I wonder whether being in the public eye at the age of 10 and that bringing with it, as it does, a certain amount of stuff that perhaps a 10 year old, you know, like that is not normal. Maybe your brain was going into overdrive, trying to keep you safe and actually doing the opposite. Does that make sense? I don't know. I mean, I started taking, taking you know i don't know if you know the drug it's it's like concerta ritalin okay for adhd so i got that from the primary when i was 16 as an outpatient for adhd i think i was just a bit wild when i was about 16 and didn't like come home and was always hanging around with guys that were older than me and drinking and what have you so I remember my mom and I had

like an eating disorder so I went as an outpatient anyway I had took this medication but I took it like on and off for like I think it was well the last time I took it I actually sent me into a psychosis I was really really poorly I think it fucked me up basically I think it gave me like panic attacks i think it gave me anxiety i think it made me on edge when i didn't need to be i was actually i took it you know when i went into the jungle when i was 22 i actually took that three times a day it's basically speed um i took it three times a day on like no food which i shouldn't be doing and i think it put me on edge so when I was doing all the trials I was like this I mean you have to laugh Friday because if you didn't laugh you'd cry but when I think about it where was the duty of care as well well I don't want to land anyone in it I mean I did just did the South Africa one I'm actually in friends with the producer she's amazing actually really love

her but 10 years ago you know I passed all the uh the tests and stuff and what have you but yeah pretty much I pretty much was a bit off my face really do you look back to some of the kind of stuff that because I think back to like the noughties and even you know the last decade there was so much stuff that at the time we all thought was like fine and normal and I now look back and go oh my god that was not okay that was not okay no yeah there was not okay I remember like even I think like with mental health and stuff like things are so different now like with Love Island and everything which they absolutely should be but I remember like a key and this isn't me getting the violin out I've

had a very good life I'm actually a very happy person even though I struggle with my mental health but I remember even like watching Celebrity Juice and there was a particular presenter and I remember her just like full-on taking the piss out of me and like I remember I felt really shit that day and it really affected me and I actually feel like you know thank god now we're so much more aware and we're so much more careful and we're so much we think so much more now about mental health and how it affects people and stuff but actually i think did me good in a way it made me stronger and i'm like you know i'm fine from that but i really do love now when i see that younger girls that i end up being friends with from nights out in manchester and they go

on left island i'm so glad that there is a better of duty care for people it's so much better you mentioned having an eating disorder when you were 16 yeah when I was about 16 um so probably I mean I'm naturally slim but I remember I was obsessed with being seven stone I don't know what it was I just you know I was around a lot of actresses and models and they were all doing the photo shoots and I just wanted to be like them but I remember yeah I hardly anything my periods only came when I was 16 because I was underweight yeah I remember lots of it I remember kind of like school nurse being involved and like Coronation Street would always call my mom up and you know stuff and you know my mom was like Helen you'll lose your job and I think it was just a sense of control I think probably I kind of felt like everything it was my sense of control you know but I think if you have an eating disorder to answer it always stays

with you if I'm really honest I think some of my eating habits probably aren't the best but I'm definitely healthy because I'm aware of my daughter because my little girl the other day said mummy I look really fat and it really upset me it really really really really upset me so I think having Matilda for me is a really good like I need to be a good example because I would hate for her to have an eating disorder because it's fucking miserable I mean I know you speak a lot about bulimia and your eating disorder and i just get it but the thing is is that all of us like i always think that we keep this dark stuff in our heads and we think oh my god i'm the worst person in the world for thinking this and then we realize we all have much more in common you know and just listening to you talk about how you still the

shadow of an eating disorder lives with you and I think that will resonate deeply with a lot of women and men because you know I totally get it and there's almost shame about that as well like there is so much stuff about self-acceptance and body positivity and yet a lot of us are living with the kind of scars of growing up in a society that told us that if we wanted to be accepted, we had to look a certain way. And this stuff does not get undone in a day. Do you know what I mean? It takes a long time. And, you know, and it is often, I think, when as women, we have children ourselves that we start to go, oh, hang on, and see also what our bodies are capable of, you know, above and beyond just being attractive. Yeah.

You know, we see the magic and the power of our bodies that we go, oh, hang on, this isn't right, you know. And so I'm really grateful to you for kind of talking about this because it doesn't get spoken about. And food is something that we all have to deal with. Yeah. On a daily basis in a way that I don't have to deal with alcohol. I don't, you know, I don't have to drink to stay alive. I don't have to take cocaine to stay alive, but I do have to eat. Yeah.

So every day we have to face these choices. I've just started, I know it sounds really weird, but I've just started to eat bread again because I just wouldn't touch it when I got into this thing where like me and my ex fiance split up that I just suddenly was like I'm not touching bread and I'm not touching pasta and I get these like weird little quirks that I do with my food because I've got a really lovely boyfriend now and I'm really happy I'm like this is probably a bit weird like I should probably just start not doing that so literally you've just started just started to eat like a little bit of bread and then like i got like a sandwich this morning it was like a bacon sandwich but i thought if i'm gonna eat that bread i'm gonna freak out for the rest of the day and i'm

gonna feel really shit i can't eat that bread but i like pick it up so it's just you have i think when you have an eating disorder you always kind of have little quirks and it doesn't really go but as long as you're healthy i just wouldn't it's so hard isn't it when you're a mum because you don't want to project your shit on your children it's so hard but what i do with my little girl all the time because i swear too much and she swore the other day oh god i'm the worst mom you know oh for fuck's sake yeah so I swear all the time I'm a little girl but I always say to my little girl I always say I'm really sorry and you know like mommy loves you more than anything I'm really not perfect and I think when I used to look at my parents I mean

I've got an incredible mom and dad but I always felt like my mom and dad were like superhuman or something and that you know of course they were perfect they had to be perfect but I think actually when I always say to my little girl like mommy, mummy just really loves you so much and, like, I'm just figuring everything out and I'm really not perfect, but mummy just tries. And I just kind of put that into her head a little bit, you know. I'm just hoping that she doesn't get any of my shit, but she probably will. I think what I've realised about parenting is that our job is not to create perfect human beings. It's to be able to be alongside them when life isn't perfect

yeah we will all fuck up our children just as we were all fucked up by our parents and that isn't you know like i say that with the greatest love in the world for my mom and dad but they did fuck me up you know but but i can also see that they themselves were fucked up by their parents. Yes, of course. My dad, I think, got locked in a cupboard for most of his childhood. And let's not even think about what the grandparents had to put up with. So I do have like a route of empathy. Yeah, I know.

The things that our kids are complaining about like our parents would be like oh mate you are locked in a cupboard suck it up if you like this episode we think you'll love this. This week on The Life of Briony, I'm joined by the wonderful Helen Flanagan. We'll be chatting about how she's navigated the ups and downs of ADHD and postnatal depression while balancing life in the public eye and motherhood. Struggling to find balance or feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges? This episode is very much for you. The Life of Br briny available now

you mentioned that part of the reason you've started eating bread again is what i'm guessing is that you're happy yeah no i've got really really lovely boyfriend at the moment well that's the thing as well it's almost like you could get you you read so much you see so much like oh you don't need a man to make you happy and no I don't need a man to make me happy but it really fucking helps when you're in a healthy relationship to a toxic one it really does help your mental health and that's no disrespect to the father of my children you know I've had three children with him and I always have a lot of love for him we both good people but together we were very toxic. Right. I think a toxic relationship can just damage your mental health a lot, even when you struggle with your mental health anyway. And, you know, especially when you've got pure OCD, you literally feel like you've grown out of your mind.

It's really grown up of you, though, as well, to be able to go, actually, separately, we're not toxic. And my ex-partner is great but together we were a bad mix yeah because i think there's a lot of people that would break up from someone and because it can be quite difficult to face our own flaws at times like i know i was like my ex-boyfriend was a dickhead do you know what i mean like total and to actually acknowledge that reality that actually some people just don't work together and they create a toxic mix. And it's better to acknowledge that and then move on and not feel the need to be bitter about that person. Does that make sense?

Yeah. And I think as well, I mean, Brian, you know, when you have children, I mean, like, it's that thing like, I mean, I'm on block at the moment on Scott's phone. I really am on block. But like, you's phone I really look but like you know I will always love the father my children you know do I think that we're really really gonna get I'm probably not we do each other's fucking edit but I know that he has the same kind of like he always will have a love for me you know like you always have kind of a respect for each other like I know he's not a bad guy we've just got our own shit going on and I think because we're together from so young how old were you 19 oh yeah we're just together when we're 19 and I just don't think we had that time to grow like until we've split up you know and

yeah we just we just didn't work what's it like what was it so I mean let's this a good time as any so exploring the dating world again because obviously you went on celebs go dating and then a few episodes in were like i've actually met someone i'm such a knob honestly no you're not a knob you know and he ended up being a part of the show so can we you know like so talk to us about rob. Robbie, yeah, Robbie. I mean, I'm going to confess something here. I've already done a deep dive on Instagram. I've already looked, gone back over all of his.

You know, like I'm like, oh yeah, I think I'll sign him off for Helen. I'll be like, you have my approval now. He's honest, Sabrina. He's lovely. Everybody loves him. So how did you meet? So cut long story short i remember in january i had a very very bad reaction to my adhd medication we had lunch around shortly after yeah yeah which the medication basically sent me into this psychosis i think it

was for about four days i don't really know. week and someone was talking about how we talk a lot about depression and anxiety but we don't talk about psychosis and actually a lot of people will go through it and that was quite a shocking experience for you because also when you're in a psychotic episode you're not even aware that you're in it no you're not i remember my nanny had to call my parents because oh god I thought there was a man outside my house I had a very very bad break-in when I was 22 and there was about three men that came into my house well you were in the house yeah so basically when I was in my psychosis I think it set me back so I thought there was a man inside my house trying to break in my house with my kids I thought I thought someone was definitely coming into my house to kill me.

And basically while I was driving home, I mean, it's horrendous, I could have killed someone. I was driving and because I was so bad on this medication, I thought there was somebody in my boot. So I kept stopping my car all the time because I was like, I can see someone jumping in my boot. Because I was in a psychosis, I thought I could see someone. But anyway, yeah, my nanny came and my mum had to take the children away from me. someone jumping in my boot because I was in the psychosis I thought I could see someone but anyway yeah my nanny came and my mum had to take the children away from me but I think that was the

hardest like thing how was that I think what the hardest thing was is that I really really fucking loved my kids and I think it was just having to explain because I was noted at the nursery I think that was the hardest thing to explain to the nursery teacher as well that I think she thought I was off on drugs that I was basically that off my face and drugs and I had to explain to her that there was a medication from you know from the priory that I am a fit mom I am a good mom and then I think of her to say well I feel a bit more comfortable if Charlie stays with your mom for a bit. I think that was just fucking shit, to be honest. And then it was just kind of like I was always that on guard.

Every time I was taking him to nursery, then from there I was making sure that Charlie was just immaculate. When I know that I'm a really good mum. I think it was just... Being like you have to prove yourself. Yeah, I think that was probably the hardest thing. But I was supposed to be doing a theatre tour for six months. You had to cancel it, didn't you? Yeah, I had that was probably like the hardest thing. But I was supposed to be doing a theatre tour for six months. You had to cancel it, didn't you?

Yeah, I had to cancel it. But my priority was basically that my kids, I'm not perfect, but I'm a really good mum. I love my kids so much, like so, so much. So I think that was it really. My mum and dad looked after my kids for about a month. And then sometimes they would sleep at mine sometimes they would sleep at my parents just till I just got myself like really good again and I was really lucky to have had my parents but I think that's actually made me realize oh my god like I understand actually you can never judge anyone because if I would have been in a different

situation I could have had my children taken off me you know like if I hadn't had my parents I could have been seen or mentally unfit to look after my children don't judge anyone because I mean I couldn't love my children anymore I literally took medication from a doctor that I thought was going to make me better and it just obviously reacted really badly and that's quite you know it was earlier this year so that was yeah that was in January yeah so you met I remember going out for lunch with you February yeah and we talked about you know you were really honest about that experience and it was and we were voice noting a bit at the time but you did not tell me that you'd met this nice dude I actually think I met him like the week later you did tell me there was one you were going on a

date I mean I remember though Bryony when I was dating after Scott I was a feral mess like no no I was an absolute feral fucking mess I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me I'll tell you what was wrong and actually this is going to resonate deeply with a lot of people who have had to go back out into the dating landscape post a long-term relationship breaking up is you were having to do something you didn't expect you were gonna have to do yeah like give yourself a bit of a fucking break hello you were a feral mess because frankly who wants to go back into the dating world after you've had three kids with someone? Yeah. Nobody.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. So that was, I've got some fucking hilarious stories though. Amazing. And you will come back and do a special episode. I've got some fucking amazing stories. Helen goes dating and we'll bring Anna Williamson in. She can chip in.

So anyway, so you met Robbie on a date. Yes, I just met him at a bar. And you know what? Oh, not on a date. At a bar? That's so old fashioned. I just met him in a bar. I was on a map.

He picked you up in a bar? Yeah. And I literally, I just, I could not stop laughing at this guy. Like he was so, so, so funny. And he honestly, my boyfriend's actually the funniest guy i've ever met in my life i definitely think he's adhd but he's just really he's just you know what he's just really really lovely he's really kind really loving and he's got a sort of similar has he got kids and an ex as well so that's helpful isn't it yeah he's got two kids and he's

he's really beautiful with my children and saying that I have respect for for Scott but yeah he's he's just he's just a really really lovely man and have all the children met each other yet or yes yeah they do I mean I think that can be tricky as well like kind of like having someone's children I've never actually met the the mother of Robbie's children but you know even though I've never met her I'm always like really respectful towards her like I kind of treat her children how I would want Scott's girlfriend to treat mine if that makes sense so I just see myself as like a good friend there's obviously boundaries that kind of you know because they're

all nuts together five kids but me and Robbie have these things like you know if they may be having a tiny little squabble or something like that like he doesn't say anything to my children and I don't say anything to his so we just we kind of just you know discipline our own and that's that's a deal breaker but yeah yeah I had a how am I Yeah, yeah. I had a, how am I going to go about this? I had a mother who had a partner who, I mean, I was a bit older. I was like in my early 20s when she got together with someone else. But he would often discipline me. I mean, to be fair to him as well, I was a fucking nightmare.

I was a fucking nightmare. But I was like, you're not disciplining me. You're not my dad. Who do you think you are? But I think that's probably a deal breaker. Yeah, yeah, 100%. I mean, yeah. You just can't discipline anyone else's child but your own.

No, no, not at all. And I want his girls to love me. And my kids love Robbie. But yeah, we very much like have that. So that really works. Yeah. But the children are great anyway and have you been as open with him about your mental health as you have with me I have actually do you want to bring me into the conversation is this podcast just for Robbie

he's honestly he's really lovely I remember I talked about something and for me it's just for something so like personal and when I talked about it I literally got myself in such a bad mindset with it yeah my my boyfriend was just like so gorgeous with me like he was so sweet he literally looked after me so well because and I think that's what made me fall more in love with him because he's so good with like my mental health things. And that's the main thing for me that I need. I need someone that's good for me mentally and emotionally. That's my top thing.

And that's what I've realized. And because he is so amazing all that, he's like my person because he just knows how to look after me. Where, you know, it's no disrespect to the father of my children. You know, I'll always have that love for him. But he didn't know how to cope with me or didn't know how to do that and not everybody does but because the man that i'm with now really knows how to do that it makes me happy you know i'm so glad you're happy he's lovely he's really really lovely you just i think sometimes you can love people but sometimes you just don't work you just can't live with them yeah yeah a lot of

people like that and in fact i'm sure there's a lot of people helen who would say briny i love you but i wouldn't fucking live with you if you were the last person on the planet i'd love to live with you brine i would love to live with you too in fact in fact the producer's looking at me as if to say wind this up because it's midnight now and we want to go to bed no uh but what i would say is helen can i take you for a coffee after this podcast is finished and we can carry on chatting yes that would be lovely thank you so much for having me on brian this sounds like a really weird thing to say given the serious topics we touched on in that conversation but it really was such a pleasure to chat with Helen today and I I'm gonna get her

back on I think we need her back on her openness about OCD ADHD postnatal depression is such an important reminder that mental health is something we all need to check in on regularly. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to like, subscribe and share this conversation with someone who might benefit from hearing it. I'll be back on Friday with a bonus edition of Life of Brightney. See you then. If you like this episode, we think you'll love this. This week on The Life of Briony, I'm joined by the wonderful Helen Flanagan. We'll be chatting about how she's navigated the ups and downs of ADHD and postnatal depression while balancing life in the public eye and motherhood.

Struggling to find balance or feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges? This episode is very much for you. The Life of Briony, available now.