The Life Of Bryony - The Life of You – Ashley James on Girlfriends, Good Books and Late-Night Jigsaws

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

Ashley James is back with me, after our main episode on body image and shame, and we get into the three things that keep her genuinely grounded when her kids are up at 5am, her social battery is dead, and the wellness industry is telling her to “just get up an hour earlier.” We talk about why female friendships feel like soulmates rather than side characters, the joy of getting completely lost in a really good book, and how certain quietly obsessive hobbies can switch off the noise in your head in a way Instagram never will.BOOKS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODEAshley’s new book, Bimbo, is available to buy now.WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOUGot something to share? Message us on @lifeofbryonypod on Instagram.If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it – it really helps! Bryony xxCREDITS:Host: Bryony GordonGuest: Ashley JamesProducer: Laura Elwood-CraigAssistant Producer: Tippi WillardStudio Manager: Sam ChisholmEditor: Luke ShelleyExec Producer: Jamie East  A Daily Mail production. Seriously Popular. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, gorgeous people and welcome to the bonus edition of The Life of Briney. Today, Ashley James is sharing the three things that keep her truly grounded when the world is shouting about our bodies, our choices, and we just want a bit of quiet in our own head. With the book, I'll get tired or with a series, I'll fall asleep, my social battery runs out with friends and I have to go to bed. But with a jigsaw, there's nothing in the world more important. And I even think, my God, I've been doing this for like six hours. I really need to go to sleep. but then I'll be like, oh, I'll just do with this little bit. My chat with Ashley coming up right after this.

Ashley James, welcome to the life of you. Okay, so it's the three things that ground you that are kind of essential to your wellness, although we're starting to dislike the word wellness, aren't we? Are you? I am. Do you know what? Whatever works with people, I think it's the toxic element of well. wellness where it's like, just wake up an hour earlier.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Like that element of it we dislike, especially if you're a mom. Yeah. Because I'll wake up an hour earlier, will I? What? So I just won't go to bed. Yeah, exactly. I tried to get up an hour earlier this morning.

And it's just, I always, I go to bed and think, I'll get up an hour earlier. And when I'm going to get to bed, I really, it is going to happen. And then the alarm goes off. And it's back on to. news. Well, see, my kids still wake up at five, so the thought of getting up an hour earlier is a big fat no. It gets better, I promise you. Right, sorry, I've distracted now.

What is your first thing, Ashley? My first non-negotiable are my girlfriends. I love that. They are my ultimate grounding. I feel like they're my soulmates. It doesn't matter what we do, but I need that female company, whether it's like to vent, to do something like a really fun activity. We try to do something every month.

Obviously it depends what we've got going on. But it could be like we really want to do the traitors experience. We've done karaoke. We did the Mamma Mia experience, which by the way, amazing because Abba obviously a lot of their songs are about breakups and divorce. And as most friendship circles will have, we've got people going through all sorts of things. And I feel like coming together and just singing ever songs is one of the most. That's the type of wellness I can get on board with.

But in your book, you talk a lot about that expectation that is put on women. We sort of grow up thinking that we want to be friends with boys. Yeah, we're not like other girls. Other girls are losers. Yeah. And I think part of like my journey of understanding society and decentering men and understanding why we feel like we're not whole on our own because we need to find another half.

And to be honest, having kids and realizing how unequal, even the most equal relationships are because of societal expectations, how, you know, my partner will get praised for changing an happy, whereas I'll be judged on how I do it. And I think as I get older, my female friendships are like my centre of everything. Like even, you know, when we're all together, like you don't have to ask someone to do anything.

We're all just doing our thing. but having that connection of people, like-minded people to talk to, to laugh with and to cry with, that's, I couldn't do it without the girlfriends. Love it. So the second thing, as well as girlfriends, what is, what's your non-negotiable?

A good book. Because I feel like life is so busy. And even if it's only reading like two pages before you fall asleep, reading is one of the things that we can still do, or at least for me, where I get completely lost in an external world. And it's like time disappears and I live in that world.

The only really bad thing about that, which is almost anti-wellness, is when that book finishes and there's not a second book, and you're like, what am I meant to do now? Well, there's not a series. That world's just gone. So what are you reading at the moment? I've just got Giselle Pelico's book,

A Hym To Life. I had the absolute pleasure of meeting her at Parliament a couple of weeks ago as part of her book launch. And I just find her so inspirational. Obviously, she didn't ask to be a spokeswoman. You know, she didn't choose what happened. What happened to her. The fact she waived her right to anonymity actually helped me. I speak in my book about my experience of rape.

And it's something that I never talked about for years. And I really did blame myself or worry about all the victim blaming things, people questioning, well, why have you taken so long to talk about it? Why didn't you come forward? And she, watching her trial and the way she came with her head held high, was just so inspirational to me. And she gave me the courage to almost let go of that really heavy burden that I felt I was carrying because I thought about it every single day.

but it felt like something that I couldn't talk about. And I haven't finished her book, but I love the way that she talks about her husband as someone who was liked and was caring because I think so often we want to think of these people as others and as monsters. So, yeah, that's what I'm coming up. And in her case, it really shone a light on that,

the fact that there were over 50 men in a very small area willing to do that to her. So, yeah, I mean, I think I love reading. I've always loved reading. And I think even if I only get through two pages, it's just a nice way to unwind. Yeah, definitely. And what is your final non-negotiable?

Jigsaws. Jigsaws. I don't think we've had jigsaws yet. Do you know what? I love jigsaw so much that I actually have a jigsaw board so that you're not confined to one space. Yeah, because it's awful when you got her on the table. table and then you've got to bring in dinner and you're like we've we're working on a 2000 work

my kids are still so young I can't keep it on a table but it means I can hide it under my bed at night then I also got the portable jigsaw table so that if you're going away in your mid jigsaw and you have to go on holiday or anything I mean I wouldn't take it abroad that would be like it's a big for that do you buy a special edition when you're abroad um no because I probably wouldn't have time to do it but when I went I went down to cornwall um and I did take it with me because I was like how, I haven't finished this jigsaw yet. And for some reason, jigsaws are the one thing that I lose all sense of time. Like sometimes I will look at the clock and I'm like, oh my goodness, it's 4 a.m. Like, so with a book I'll get tired or with a series

I'll fall asleep. My social battery runs out with friends and I have to go to bed. But with a jigsaw, like there's nothing in the world more important. And I, and I even think, my God, I've been doing this for like six hours. I really need to go to sleep. I'm on this morning. I need to get up at six. But then I'll be like, oh, I'll just do this little bit. So you're pulling all nighter before you do this morning with the jigsaw? Not regularly. And I try not to. I try to be disciplined. But it's a little bit like reading that I can, no matter what I've got on in my world. And actually, with anything else, I find myself like compulsively looking at my phone with a jigsaw. I don't even think about my phone. You know, I only only...

do jigsaws when I go to Cornwall for some reason. And we do go to Cornwall like two or three times a year, so it's quite often. We always go and buy like a local jigsaw. I love that. Well, now you know about the travel boards. The travel boards. Don't confine yourself to Cornwall. I mean, I just love this.

This is, okay, what jigsaw are you doing at the moment? None at the moment because I had to write a book. I have to be quite disciplined that I can only. only do it when I don't have lots of other stuff on. Because otherwise, that book would not be written. I'd be like, what deadline? I think you could get a jigsaw of the bimbo cup match. You know, it's too much pink.

Yeah, there is a lot of pink. But sometimes that would look quite boring, but it would actually be quite fun to do because it's so hard. Well, I tell you what, we want the bimbo merch. We want the bimbo jigsaw. Yeah, like a 1,000 piece bimbo. Maybe I need to bring out like a, it's like, a slight, different cover. Actually, one of the

covers I was thinking about doing was having my book, but it had like a lot of language behind it. So it had like milth, slart, mumsy. So maybe if I bring that out for the jigsaw version. Yeah, paperback. Give it a paperback time. Yeah, I love that. Great. Ashley,

thank you so much. Thanks. And there you have it. Ashley's three things she can't live without. If any of these chimed with you or sparked ideas about your own essentials, message me on Instagram and tell me what keeps you steady. Or you could just leave us a review and give us a follow.

It really does make a difference. But most importantly, look after yourself. Be as kind to you as you are to everyone else. And I'll see you on Monday.