The Life Of Bryony - The Life Of You - Cat Sims on sober mum life, solo escapes and talking to yourself

Episode Date: May 29, 2026

On this weeks bonus episode, Bryony sits down with writer, creator and “sober mum” Cat Sims for a brilliantly honest conversation about the three things that help her live her best life.From daily AA meetings and the reality of long-term sobriety, to why she unapologetically takes solo trips away from her family for four nights at a time, Cat opens up about the routines and boundaries that keep her sane. The pair also get into the double standards around motherhood, the joy of being alone, and why making a cup of tea for one can feel oddly euphoric.Cat also reveals the surprisingly therapeutic habit that might just change your life, having full-blown conversations with yourself while walking around the park in AirPods.Funny, raw and wildly relatable, this is a conversation about recovery, motherhood, freedom, and finding small ways to hold onto yourself in the chaos of everyday life.WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOUGot something to share? Message us on @lifeofbryonypod on Instagram.If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it – it really helps! Bryony xxCREDITS:Host: Bryony GordonGuest: Matt HaigProducer: Laura Elwood-Craig Assistant Producer: Tippi Willard Studio Manager: Mitchell LiasProduction Manager: Vittoria CecchiniEditor: Rowan JacobsExec Producer: Jamie East A Daily Mail production. Seriously Popular. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, lovely people, and welcome to the bonus edition of The Life of Briney. Today, Kat Sims is sharing the tools she uses to stay sober as a mother. I cannot control people, placing things, and that includes my children. I mean, you would think that I just said I'd fried up one of my children and ate them for breakfast. Is it mind? Hashtag mindful movement. Listen, it's not even mindful. It's just getting up out the front door and walking. My chat with Kat coming up right after this. Sims. Hi, Brianie. It's the life of you. Oh, I love that. And I have asked you very specifically

to come up with three things that help you live your best life as a hashtag sober mom. Sober mom. Sober mom. Three things. What's number one? I mean, number one has to be like my recovery program. No doubt about it. Yeah, I mean, it would. I would. Okay, so 12-step programs. 12-set programs. Keep me, stop me from being a dick. 99% of the time. 99.

And they help you apologize for the 1% of the time. They help me apologize. They help me recognize that apparently the world doesn't run to my timetable and that I cannot control people, places and things. And that includes my children. Yeah. And it keeps me sober. And that is, hands down, the biggest thing that I need.

Without that, I probably might not drink, but I think I'd be very unhappy. So how does that look like? What does that look like for you? Because people often say to me, oh, you still go to meeting. I get that a lot as well. Yeah, yeah, I go every day. You're like, we go every day. I'm like, yeah.

I mean, I do an online meeting every day. After this, I've got another work thing. And then I'll do an in-person meeting later on tonight in town. I do it every day. My kids know I'm in an AA meeting. I have a great meeting that I go to from eight to nine. So that last getting out the house push, none of my business. I'm like, going into my meeting.

Right, that's good use. Yeah. So that's the first thing for sure. And I, yeah, I couldn't cope without that. The second thing is I love to be on my own, like I need to be on my own. And I don't mean, like, I'm high maintenance when it comes to this. I do not mean I need like half an hour to myself in the bedroom with like doom scrolling. I mean, I need that too.

That's on top of. That's on top of four nights, five nights away, on my own. I don't even want to go with girlfriends. Right, okay. On my own, by the beach. I've just got back from that trip. You say four or five nights, do you mean like a year or what, a week? Well, what I do love, a week.

Can you imagine? I think I'd be a brilliant mum if I was away four or five nights a week. Like I think that would be my best mumming phase. I am very grateful that I'm a writer because it gives me a very valid excuse to go, I need to go away for a writing trip. Because I do find, I don't know about you, I find it almost impossible to write at home.

Like I had to get up early to write this morning and I'm sat there and the bins are going with the recycling, it's bin day. And I can hear the kid screaming and the dog's barking and a kid comes in because they need. I don't know, to find their shoes or something. And I find it really difficult to write at home. And so I do love that I can use writing as a bit of an excuse to go.

I need to go away by myself. I mean, I take the dog, obviously, because the dog always is happy to see me. Okay. So it's a lone time, but with the dog. The dog never asks me where his fucking shoes are. Okay, that's fair enough. Yeah. So I do need alone time.

I need space. And I use it really consciously as well. You know, I don't sit on my phone all the time. I make sure I'm going somewhere where I feel really like I'm looking after myself. I make sure I go out for walks. I get early nights. I try and read more books than I do. At home?

Well, than I do ever. But, you know, and I really do do it consciously, but I need that. Otherwise, I get frazzled very easily. I'm not a very emotionally resilient person in that sense. Like, I do need regular breaks. So it's like you're topping up. Yeah. Your battery reserves.

Yeah. And I, you know, I'm not going to say it's self-career. It isn't. It's like, it's necessary. Okay. I'm a dick if I don't get to do that. Okay. Right?

Yeah. So we're talking like every few months. Yeah, every few months. To be honest, every few months. And I would say probably at least twice a year, I will go away four or five nights. And I don't even. keep that much in touch with the kids and stuff when I'm away. So did you just leave and just go like, good luck?

Pretty much. Yeah, okay. Well, to be honest, if you're, you also, I think, you obviously, your husband is a musician, isn't he? And he is away a lot. So, yeah. I think that that is probably, it's like a fair balance. It is, it's more than fair.

In fact, if anything, like, I should go away more. but the wildly imbalanced view of a dad being away versus a mum being away like he can be away for six months of the year on and off backwards and forward you know I say on Instagram I'm going away for four nights by myself I mean you would think that I just said I'd fried up one of my children and ate them for breakfast

do you know what I mean and I'm like hang on a minute he was away he's been away all this I'm just going for four nights yeah he can cope they'll have a lovely time. Yeah. Yeah. Just stop.

I just... Do you go away on your own? No. Because you don't... Do you like being on your own? I would love to... I mean, I'm not... I'm sort of like...

I don't... The problem is I can't... They don't buy it when I say oh, I need to go and write. Do they have to buy it though? Could you just say, do you know what, I need some time? I also don't... Yeah, I don't know.

Like, I like... I don't need... to be away by myself. I mean, that's totally fair enough. Like, it is interesting, because I sometimes think everybody would love to do that. But the reality is not everybody does like to go by themselves. So, yeah, it is interesting.

But I also have, like, friends who have loads of children, you know, more than one. I only have one child. And so I don't think I get that, like, brazzled feeling that lots of women do. Yeah, if they have multiple children and pets. That is the bonus. I don't have a pet either. And I'm quite, you know, boundaries about,

I think I do, I'm quite good at like time for myself. Yeah. So, no, I don't need to, I like to be away. Yeah, as long as bad bunnies there. I'm happy to bring them with me, you know. I just, you know, I like just.

I mean, no, it's not like I, you know, I tune them out quite easily. I do also enjoy going on holiday with my family. You know, it's not like I don't It's not like I wish they didn't exist It's just that I also Really love being able to watch Whatever I want to watch on the television

Oh yeah, no, that's nice I love being able to make a cup of tea And I only have to make one Because I think part of my You know, I don't really have regrets But if you had to pin me down My regret My one regret is that I've never lived on my own

Right, okay I've always gone from like Home to boarding school to house shares to Jimmy. There's still time. Well, this is what I said to Jimmy. I was like, could you do me the courtesy of dying before me? Well, also, you could be like,

do you remember Helena Bond and Carter and her? No, don't worry, I've said it. I've said one of our empty nesting things is I'm going to get myself a little flat for a year. Yeah. We're still together. We're not married, we're not divorced, we're not everything,

but I just want one flat to myself for a year. Well, you could just separate floors. No, because he's not great with boundaries. He's all over it. Like, I love, I love him, but like, I put a boundary and he likes to walk all over it a little bit. And I'm like, well, no, we're not going to do that. So I'm going to get my own flat.

Okay. And we could date. We'd be like we're dating. Yeah. Yeah. But my house is clean. Okay, number three. Number three, I've sort of struggled with a little bit.

But I would definitely say it, I hate having given you so much grief for the whole marathon running thing. How do you know if somebody runs marathons? Because I'll tell you. Is it going to be exercise, Kat? I wouldn't say it's exercise. I would say it's movement. Is it mind?

Hashtag mindful movement. Listen, it's not even mindful. It's just getting up out the front door and walking. And I do love the gym and I'm a big, I do like exercise. But for me, it's not that side of it that keeps my mind healthy. It's literally getting up and moving. So for me, getting out walking around the park, even if I'm, even if I've only got five minutes, that hit of fresh air, just walking, getting one foot in front of the other.

is like I will talk to myself as well this is like the third thing like A I will talk to myself in a way that I don't think is entirely sane so like if I've got something on my mind or I'm stressing out about something or I really want something to happen I don't know if it's going to happen whatever I will go out and I'll put my air pods you're looking at me this is yes you need to look at me like that no I'm into I love my air pods in and you talk to yourself so that people will think that I'm on the phone and then I will have a conversation that I want to you know when you suddenly realize you're saying this on a public podcast I do my face has gone like that

because I'm like what's a good idea I will have conversation not because I will leave spaces where the other person will talk and I and that person could be somebody I'm really cross with and I have the conversation that we're going to have and it's not just an opportunity for me to get out where I want to say. I actually find I work it out in my head. You don't even need to have the conversation. Yeah. Or I know exactly what conversation I actually need to have.

Yeah. And then I do it in a sort of, sometimes do it in a sort of manifesting way where I'm like, yeah, now I'm just doing like a phoner with like a really big newspaper or something. Yeah. Magazine about the book and how it just went to the top of the, you know, bestseller's charts. And I talk, you know, and I realize that makes me sound absolutely crazy.

So I'm going to change the third one to talking to. myself. I love it. Do you know what? Because it really helps. I just love that. That is one of my favourite ever things that someone has chosen for the life of you. Oh, I love that because it, but you do have to put your headphones in because otherwise people, you can't be just... Who cares what they think of you? I, on the way here this morning, I sat next to a man on the tube and I had my headphones in because I was listening to something. But over the listening, I... Over the listening. Over the listening device that was in my ear. A threatening device in my ear, this young man was singing to himself.

I love that. At first I thought, oh, maybe I should move over. And then I thought, no, the vibes of this man are great. Allow them. I had exactly the same thing on the treadmill the other day. I was like, on the, I don't know what I was doing. I think, oh, no, I do. I was reading.

Were you running on the treadmill? No, I walk on the treadmill. Uphill, really steep. But I read while I'm on the treadmill when I read a book. And this guy next to me was just singing out loud, singing his little socks off. Like having the time of his fucking life. And I had nothing but respect. Yeah.

I mean, he probably thought you were the weird one reading on the treadmill, to be fair. I think reading on a treadmill is like, how do you not like feel a bit sick? Isn't it like being in a car? No. But I also don't get sick reading in the car. What? No, never have, never will. Okay, listen.

If you are someone, I just need everyone to send messages to ask you. to at Life of Briny Pond and let me know, can you read in a car or not? These are the big questions I need to know the answer to. Can you not read in a car? No! Oh, never mind. I would be violently ill.

Would you? Yes. But I don't get travel sickness in any way at all ever, never have. It's like I get a lot of shit, but for some reason, made of sturdy stuff when it comes to transport. So you get a lot of shit, but you have been spared the horror of travel sickness.

Let me tell you, though, when I was pregnant and I had that morning sickness and it was like that kind of you're not going to be sick, but that constant sick feeling. Somebody went, it's just like travel sickness, isn't it, all the time? And I was like, is it? Yeah. Is that what it's like?

Yeah. I was like, oh, poor you. I think it's like a like a Marvel superpower not getting, being able to read in a car. Yeah. I mean, I would like, you know, if you could have a superpower, what would it be? And people are like, invisibility, flying. No. No.

Being able to read in the car. Yeah. I mean, I'm quite impressed with myself. now. I thought it was normal but you're basically a member of the Avengers Katzins. Right. I love that. Who talks to herself quite a lot? Yeah. Love it. Thank you so much. My pleasure. I'm going to go. I'm just going to go and talk to myself for a little bit now. Brilliant. It's the best thing you can do. Thank you, Kat, for sharing some of your tips on how to stay sober because I know so many

people need this help. And I hope that you found the help in this episode. And I hope you know that no matter how dark things are, there is light on the other side. If any of Kat's ideas chimed with you or sparked ideas about your own things that help you stay sober, or perhaps you've got your own tips, please message me on Instagram at at Life of Briny Pod and tell me what keeps you steady when everything feels like too much. We could just leave us a review and give us a follow. It really does make a difference. Most importantly, please look after yourself. Be as kind to you as you are to everyone else, and I'll see you on Monday.