The Life Of Bryony - The Life of You – How Movement, Mindset, and Mel Robbins Changed Ore Oduba’s Life

Episode Date: November 14, 2025

Ore Oduba is back to share the three things that have helped him become the truest version of himself. He opens up about how childhood fear and a need to please others once shaped his world, and how discovering Mel Robbins proved to be a genuine game-changer – so much so that her words now live with him in a way that’s hard to miss. Ore also reflects on rediscovering parts of his youth, from faith to the power of movement, and how these have given him a whole new lease of life. If you’re searching for a spark of inspiration, or perhaps wondering how to finally break free from old fears, this episode is for you.LINKS TO SUPPORT GROUPSIf the topics discussed in the episodes with Ore impact you in any way and you’d like to seek some support, please consider contacting the following charities:The Naked Truth Project, a charity helping those affected by unhealthy relationships with porn: https://nakedtruthproject.com/Pivotal Recovery, a charity offering guided online programmes to help people overcome porn, sex addiction, and compulsive sexual behaviours: https://www.pivotalrecovery.org/WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOUGot something to share? Message us on @lifeofbryonypod on Instagram.If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it – it really helps! Bryony xxCREDITS:Host: Bryony GordonGuest: Ore OdubaProducer: Laura Elwood-CraigAssistant Producer: Tippi WillardStudio Manager: Sam ChisholmEditor: Luke ShelleyExec Producer: Jamie East  A Daily Mail production. Seriously Popular. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, lovely people, and welcome to the bonus edition of The Life of Briney. Today, Ori Aduba is opening up about the essentials that keep him grounded. For me, understanding that there is more to just me, that I'm guided by the people that I've lost in the world, I'm guided by a greater entity, allows me to remove a lot of the expectation and pressure that I have on my shoulders to go, I have to give it somewhere. I have to allow that guidance to be from something else.

My chat with ORE coming up right after this. I am so interested to know about the three things that are crucial to your well-being. Because in all the research I did for this interview, I listened to podcasts, you've done. I've obviously kind of gone deep on your Instagram, your social media, and I know that like me, you love a bit of woo-woo. It's crazy, that's what it's been cool. But I am, if it is, I'm proudly wear the badge of woo-woo. Okay, me too.

So tell me what are, what's the first thing that's crucial to your well-being and contentedness? I know this is supposed to be a lighthearted touch, but it's so deep for me. Okay, come on, let's go there. It's so deep. And I know we've not got lots of time, but I think if I can surmise, what are things that are crucial?

You know, as I started a path to self-discovery, because I think we can only lead an authentic life if we have a real self-awareness of the person that we are as a result of the person that we used to be. And that requires going into it. Yeah. We've got to go back and really unpick the person that was influenced, the person that

behaved in a certain way, and really understand that, like, I am a result today of a childhood, of a education, of a friendship group, of a situation, of a partner, all of those things add up. And so I have come finally to a point, and by the way, it required a lot of red button pressing in my life when I realized what was actually happening. So by red button pressing, do you mean self-destruct? I mean understanding that there were things in my life that were causing me deep conflicts that actually having started therapy, and that may be the first one,

having started therapy that I was trying to understand why I felt so, what's the word, yeah, kind of in this inner battle with myself. And I realized I had a life that. I was creating a life out of fear of my father. Right. I was creating a life that I knew my father would accept because from a very early age, you had to achieve a certain level of what was acceptable.

And so the life that I wanted was the one that I knew he would accept. Okay. That meant, added to that, this kind of idea of what I thought, you know, in a household. And, you know, it's not, I've been said this before, you know, it was a very difficult family household. It was a little bit intimidating. It was quite fearful.

And my parents were else together were probably as far separate as you could be without divorcing. There was a lot of intimidation. It was hostile. And so I wanted to create a version of my life that was loving, that was warm.

But all of that, because I was trying to escape something that was causing me a lot of sadness and a lot of trauma. And so when you go back to one pick a lot of that and you get to 38 and you go, I'm, I'm kind of, I'm dying inside. I don't feel alive.

And if I'm not feeling alive, then something is slowly killing me on a day to the basis. And like I said to you in our first podcast that, you know, it got to the point that I was like, it might be better if I wasn't here. And so, yeah, once you realize that, and it came, you know, my dad died when I was 38, a couple of years ago. And there was a whole process of going back to Nigeria for the few. funeral and I walked in the footsteps of the 15 year old that I was and I realized what was happening. Now as a parent of two children that I could suddenly see that there was fear.

The fear had absolutely ruled my life. And so I recognized that and decided I wasn't going to live in fear anymore. And so then you start making decisions, whether it is agents or in my case, ending a marriage, or going, I want to live a life that is entirely my own. That is, I can make decisions for myself now. I have a power for myself now. And that's kind of what started. Was that the answer that you're expecting?

The journey to woo-woo. The journey to woo-woo. It started with therapy. Absolutely. So with therapy be number one? I think if you're able to, and there was so many, it's so much, you know, it is expensive to be able to have the access and I feel very privileged that I was able to start seeing somebody on a regular basis. I now see them less, more sporadically.

But seeing someone to try to unpick that, absolutely, whether it's therapy or learning or, or, you know, there's so much available online. It's from really trusted sources and voices. I haven't mentioned Mel Robbins, but that book, The Let Them Theory, changed my life. Every time I see someone with a green book, whether it's on holiday or at the train station, I'm like, another one. Yes, yes, you know, you know. The Let Them Theory might be number two because I think there was a point in my life where I had been, I had been, and this is all of us, shape-shifting people-pleasing to the point that I haven't got a ruddy clue who I am because I've created a version of myself that I know is going to be acceptable for other people.

I just described this was made from childhood. And so going through any kind of conflict, you shy away from that authentic voice, there's a gut feeling that you feel inside yourself that you actually go, I need to silence it because I know it's only going to cause conflict or it's going to not please are people that I'm looking for that validation from. You're constantly putting other people's happiness in front of yours. Yes. And what the let them theory describes is something that isn't brand new.

You know, this is information that was in scripture or was in a lot of philosophical work, that actually in choosing to not control other people, choosing not to let other people's happiness go above your own or any kind of influence externally whether she talks a lot about the traffic on the way to work and try to, I really need this to be

as soon as you take yourself away from that and go, what can I do? What is actually, what do I need? That isn't something that becomes unkind or uncompassionate to somebody else. It actually means I need to serve myself first. I need to turn up in the world as me and after that

I'm in a way better position to be able to serve other people or actually go I can't give you what you need because it's creating a conflict for me and that only then can you start really figure out what's going on so

but it's absolutely let them I think the thing I love about it sorry to interject it's that it's not just you it's not just not letting yourself not allowing yourself to try and control other people it's also crucial not allowing other people's behaviour to control you, right?

That's for me the thing is that I can't change other people. I am not that powerful. Yeah. I am not God. Yeah. You know, and so actually, even if I am walking around being small and changing myself to please them, I actually don't have any effect on people. I can't, I can't, I am not that powerful.

It's like, let them, let me. Yeah. Yeah. We are all responsible for our own emotional responses. We have to be. And without that emotional regulation, that starts manifesting itself in all sorts of destructive ways. Because we do have the ability to control how we feel, how we behave and what we do and what we don't do. And when we realise that we go, I'm not an unkind person, but something that happened that was a conflict was out of my control was causing me to do something that was destructive.

The minute you take a step back and go, look, you're going to do that thing. you're going to do that thing and it might be hurt for me but what can I now do I'm not going to retort to it I'm not going to react to it I'm going to go regulate what I need and then I've got a decision make

am I going to come back compassionately? Am I going to talk about that issue or am I going to go do you know what that's too much for me it's actually causing me pain and hurting me I'm going to now remove myself from that situation and that gives you the power back

and it regulates your whole nervous system And when I saw, when I heard her talk about the book with Oprah, I remember I was on my way to the hospital for like a full MOT. And I ended up sitting in the car for 45 minutes. I was early. I remember sitting in the car for 45 minutes just going, it was like a huge light bulb went off.

I was like, I don't have to do that anymore. And everything changed. I, you know, I would implore people to just. read it because it's so obvious in so many ways, but so not how we live our lives today. But she's also just managed to package it so simply and really, because there has been sort of controversy that, oh, this is, this is, you know, this is just a stuff that's been said before. But it's like, well, yeah, but she said it in such a way that has landed and connected with people. With so many people. There's a reason. There's a reason. I know we're, we all love

to jump on a trend. But I think when we're talking about the depth of what is in there, what resonates with all of us, there is something really important that we may be society or with this group have let them as I've got a tattooed on the back of my arm. Have you? Yeah. Let's see. It's here. I would want it somewhere I could see it more.

Well, I see it on the front of my forehead every single day. It's burnt onto your brain. It's burnt on the inside. Yeah. And you do, you do every day. You go, hold on. Nope. Let them.

And now what am I going to do? Let me. My equivalent is, so what? I have a sponsor in a 12-step program. I probably shouldn't, like, be revealing all of this. And because I care so much about what other people think of me the whole time. And I know I don't, I should not. She says, you're just going to say, so what?

She's American. So what? So what? Great. And I walk around going, so what? Yeah. And I'm like, ha-ha, ha. It'll get there.

Totally. And, you know, I think about me, you know, bringing something like this to the surface. You know, I've talked in a first podcast about addiction and an addiction that hasn't been talked about on a public scale before. And I think, what's going to happen? Am I, you know, I was prepared for kind of it to cause reputational damage. Yeah. Kind of, so what?

I have to be prepared for a so what. And to let them. Because I know that this is something that I, it is really important to bring to the table because is the worst thing that I'm going to lose something when I know that it can gain so much? You can't live in any more fear.

You can't live in the fear of it. And so people will misunderstand you. People will have hot takes, whatever. Let them have their hot takes. You know the truth. I do know the truth. That's it. Okay, so we've got, on your list,

we have therapy. Therapy and a kind of self-awareness. Okay, therapy, self-awareness. Mel Robbins. let them, these are solid things. Thank you. What would be your third crucial well-being thing? If I may give you another little jumbley that's not exactly just one thing. I think it is exercise activity and being outside. Movement. Movement. Absolutely. And, you know, in the last year and a half, I just, I rediscovered, you know, sport was a huge part of my life as a kid and then somewhere along the

line that kind of died away, becoming active again, especially at a time that was so difficult for me personally, allowed me to channel a lot of that frustration, a lot of that pain into daily practice. And it was actually forcing me to go through a physical pain that was allowing me to channel a lot of the mental struggle that I was going through into it. It was creating a resilience. It was also creating a kind of decision-making process to go, this is actually making me stronger physically by getting up every day or going outside or going for a five-minute run or a 10-minute run or doing a workout or being outside in nature. It's allowing me to change my behaviour in something that I know is giving me something back, whether it is the endorphins,

whether it is this kind of physical build-up of strength or like a resilience of going through a pain barrier every single day. That along with changing my health and food and my relationship with alcohol and all of those small changes have made me so much more physically, mentally and spiritually, you know, I didn't mention prayer and my faith is a huge thing as I've reconnected with over the last two years and that is a huge thing. That's for some people, not for everybody, but for me, understanding that there is more to just me that I'm guided by the people. people that I've lost in the world. I'm guided by a greater entity allows me to remove a lot of the expectation and pressure that I have on my shoulders to go, I have to give it somewhere. I have

to allow that guidance to be from something else because like you said, I'm not in control of absolutely everything. I do my best and I have wonderful people in life and I've discovered so much more love and friendships and family that was before. So that faith and prayer is a fourth But a lot of those many changes in my life that became from exercise, health, connecting to nature, I could do cold swims every now and then have just invigorated me kind of internally as well as externally that I'm like, I've got this new vitality and zest for life. And I don't go every day. And if I don't, I'm going, it's okay because I've kind of changed my behaviours. There's a habitual nature to it that I'm going, I've got two days where I know I'm going to be somewhere else. else, that's fine because, or maybe even two weeks where, you know, I've gone on holiday

or something's happening, I've spending time, it's half term with the children or something. I go, it's okay, because I know I've kind of built up a structure in me that is bringing the best version of me out physically and mentally. And, uh, and it's great. We are here for this version, this best version. Thank you, Brian. I love being here with you with this version. And there you have it. Orase three things he can't live without. If any of them chimed with you,

why not message me on Instagram at Life of Briny Pod? And if that doesn't appeal, that's okay. You can just leave us a review and give us a follow. But most importantly, look after yourself and I'll see you on Monday.