The Life Of Bryony - The Life of YOU: The Truth About Christmas: Alcohol, Overspending, and Surviving the Season

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

Welcome to The Life of Bryony, where we tackle life’s trickiest moments with a mix of humour, heart, and honesty. In this festive bonus episode, Bryony Gordon is joined by her family—Jane, Jack, and Rufus Gordon—for a hilarious and heartfelt dive into your Christmas dilemmas. From glitter explosions to booze etiquette, the Gordons bring their unique mix of wisdom and wit to help you navigate the holiday season. Today’s Christmas dilemmas include: 🎄 How to handle a dad who’s taken his Christmas decorating to extreme levels. 🍷 Balancing holiday booziness with compassion for loved ones in recovery. 🎁 Budget-friendly Christmas when money is tight (and pride gets in the way). Together, the Gordons remind us that while family Christmases might be messy, they’re also filled with love and laughter—sometimes more laughter than love. WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU 🗣️ Got something to share? Send Bryony a voice note or text on 07796657512—just start your message with LOB. 💬 Or use the WhatsApp shortcut: https://wa.me/447796657512?text=LOB. 📧 Prefer email? Drop Bryony a line at [e-mail]. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with someone who needs a laugh—it’s the best Christmas gift you could give us! Presenter: Bryony Gordon Guests: Jane, Jack, and Rufus Gordon Producer: Jonathan O'Sullivan Executive Producer: Mike Wooller A Daily Mail production. Seriously Popular Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to The Life of You, where we tackle your dilemmas and explore the solutions to life's trickiest moments. I'm joined once again by my family to tackle all your troubles and hopefully not make them significantly worse. Today, deck the halls. Margot's had it with her dad's extreme decorating. Linda is worried about what not to drink this Christmas. And can Aurora survive the giving season without coming across as a scrooge? What difference does it make if it makes your life a misery? Things could be worse. We could be off the national grid, couldn't you? You'd be in trouble, wouldn't you?

Your festive family dramas solved right after this. This is from Margot. What a lovely name. My dad goes completely overboard at Christmas. Every year he insists on buying new decorations and now we're up to three trees in the house. It's like navigating an obstacle course of tinsel and baubles just to get down the hallway. He's already talking about synchronised outdoor lights for next year. Since he's retired, it feels like a big, glittery cry for help but he won't listen when we suggest toning it down. His stress leaks into the general vibe of the house and honestly it feels like I'm still at work dealing with

an unpredictable boss. How do we gently help him relax and enjoy Christmas? Hostess Trolley. Don't ask me. Hostess Trolley, I think that it not only will it keep the Brussels sprouts warm, but it will also hopefully completely fuck up the electrics in the house. And there'll be no more tinsel, no more Father Christmas, no more lights going on and off. Just the trolley and the Brussels sprouts. I would like to give some sensible advice to Margot which is to say consider this it may be stressy but maybe your gift to your father smart meter. Is to allow him. No, is to just allow him. This is what he likes to do and just see yourself like I always think as being of service to your dad like he likes to do it just smile and wave smile and wave like what it's a day

the build up those nets will let him keep the trees up to it if that's what gives him joy like this is the thing how difficult is it for you to look like I'm attacking Margot? Get some real problems with Margot. Gwyn and Barry! Let's leave him, let him... Type that in, you're worried your dad loves Christmas too much. Very exactly. Look outside, tell them he's on or something. What difference does it make if he makes your life a misery and your mother's life a misery

for three or four days? What difference does it make? Things could be worse Off the National Grid I'll tell you something blowing the house up is the last of your worries I think that though that is the thing is like just go, you know, just smile and wave You're doing your bit because also if he didn't do it, you might start to feel a little bit though that is the thing is like just go you know just smile and wave you're doing your bit because also if he didn't do it you might start to feel a little bit my dad hates Christmas now Margot I I think it's sweet as well that he wants

to make such an effort count yourself lucky Margot that's what I'd say yourself lucky. My son is bringing his girlfriend home for Christmas for the first time. You can just hold that thought, OK? I've just found out she's five years in recovery from alcoholism. The problem is our Christmas is quite boozy. We start with Bailey's on Christmas morning, move on to Buck's Fizz with breakfast, wine at lunch and our youngest takes pride in his post-dinner cocktail hour. This is just how we've always celebrated.

But now I'm panicking. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or excluded, but I'm also keen to get pissed basically, is what she wants to say, to keep some Christmas traditions. How do I make her feel included and not make things awkward for her or my son? I think that's a really sweet email. I think that's really nice of Linda to acknowledge that. Yeah, it's an awkward thing. Christmas unfortunately is alcoholics horror, isn't it really? I don't think it is. I don't think it has to be. I think...

Well it does in that household, don't you think? Yeah. It's starting off a little bit early. Okay, let's not shame Linda and their traditions. We do have champagne with breakfast, don't we? Yeah, we do. I think just having the no alcohol version stuff around would be good. Yeah, exactly.

And then maybe compromising a little bit. Maybe don't start drinking at 9am, maybe leave it till the early afternoon. That's a really thoughtful thing actually, Rufus. Life's about compromise, Bryony. I'm living in your little small spare room. Yeah, that's a really thoughtful thing actually Rufus. Life's about compromise Bryony. I'm living in your little small spare room. Sorry, is it a compromise for you to live for free in my spare room? No, I'm trying to live there. There was a point there, but it's gone now.

But anyways, back to who was it? Linda. Yeah, I think she's a bit about compromising. Just start drinking a little bit later. I also think like, also, it's just, it's just offer her you know like say oh you know maybe before ahead of time be like oh is there anything that you like to have you know on Christmas Day is there anything that we can do to make it more comfortable for you but if she's in recovery she's probably got a kind of program and what

five years into it was like when you were seven years I don't know I think yeah you're quite kind of like you're settled into it? What was it like, I mean you were seven years. I don't know, I think yeah, you're quite kind of like. You're settled into it really. You know what you're doing and you know what your triggers are and stuff. Also be aware that she's probably nervous about coming and maybe just let her know that you're really easy about it and you understand and just make sure

that the rest of the family know not to offer her booze because that's the annoying thing. So like make sure that there aren't any like weird questions like, oh, why aren't you drinking? Are you pregnant? Cause that's just fucking annoying. So like just get that out of, just make sure everyone is kind of prepped that

you don't even have to tell, cause you might not want everyone to know she's an alcoholic, you know, guess what? But you know like because she might not want everyone to know she's an alcoholic you know guess what but you know just make sure everyone knows she doesn't drink and you're not gonna talk about it no matter how pissed you get. Also don't be offended if at 7 p.m. she goes and locks herself. No because I do think it's like I definitely when everyone starts to get a bit like repeat themselves it's like I'd just rather go upstairs and read and I'm perfectly happy. You know, I also think you don't need to avoid drinking around people that don't drink.

Like I have no problem with people drinking around me and actually sometimes it helps because I can see like I wouldn't have drunk in that way. Like what I mean to say is that even though Linda, obviously your day is quite boozy, you know like you see people drinking quite unquite normally so they'll have one glass of wine with their dinner or something and I find it quite helpful because I was like that is not how I drank, you know, I drank just a blackout the whole time. So it's my responsibility to remove myself from the situation if I start to get uncomfortable. It's not everyone else's It's just as well isn't it that Christmas seems to intensify emotions than any other time

But also your son's girlfriend, you know is she's in recovery But she's lots of other things too like you don't you can talk about You know like there's plenty of things that you can be chatting to her about given that you know She's coming, you know, it's first first time you're going to be meeting her. That's really exciting. So she a vegan as well? Well, that I mean, that's a whole other question. Final question.

Every year I overspent on Christmas gifts because I hate the idea of looking cheap. But this year things are different. I lost my job in June and didn't tell anyone. So now obviously my budget is tight. I'm not crafty so making homemade presents is out of the question and I'm struggling with how to approach it. Should I just be honest with everyone about why I'm pulling back or is that too awkward? I've even thought about lying and saying I've made a donation to charity in their name but that's awful right? How do I handle this without feeling guilty or letting people down especially myself and that is from someone calling themselves Aurora but it's not their real name. Honesty is the best policy. That was very sensible. Next question.

Well that's the most sensual get out of me. Surely she'll want to tell people that she... Yeah. But she's hidden the fact she's lost her job. But in these times you need people around you. I agree. I think maybe. And then what better time than Christmas when everyone's feeling a little bit more generous?

Yeah, because they might want to help. They might be like, well, actually this year we want to treat you. It starts with being honest, doesn't it? Why are you keeping this from your family? A bit of pride, isn't it? But everyone has that, don't they? Pride, I think that's only natural. But she needs to know that there are... But Christmas isn't really... And it's self-protection, isn't it?

A form of self-protection. Also, Christmas isn't really about, you know, like actually reminding yourself that Christmas isn't just about presents, and it's about family and love, and, you you know there are other ways that you can show that at Christmas and you know if your family love you, your family should love you unconditionally so they'll love you regardless of what you get

them and maybe a gift to them this year. It might be the honesty that maybe they would really like to be supporting you through this. Better communication. Give them the opportunity to show some Christmas spirit. Sometimes the best presents are more thoughtful than expensive. I do feel like sometimes I've come into the... You don't believe that. I got you milk frother last year. By the way, how much do you think a milk frother is, right?

That's £100. I was like, what? Does it produce milk as well? It's like a small cow in there. We were actually- How much she uses that every day. We were in danger there of answering a question sensibly and succinctly until we had to get

onto the fucking milk frother. I honestly, I'll just go round for, dad, do you need a milk frother this year? I think everyone gets a milk frother. Well, first I think you put everything into perspective. Yeah. But I think sometimes it's an awful guess, it doesn't really matter, but yeah.

You need a support network, and then the people that support you, they'll need a support network, so you kind of go over your pride, right? Yeah. Okay, well thanks. And if you want Aurora, there's a milk frother going. Aurora, let me know.

I've got loads of milk frother. With your name on it. That's a wrap on this very Gordon Christmas. A huge thank you to my mum, Jane, my dad, Jack and my brother Rufus for joining me and sharing such sage advice. If only they were as wise when it came to matters of our own family. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to hit follow. Please hit follow. That is the best Christmas present you can give me and lovely producer Jonathan this Christmas

because we want to carry on making lovely episodes for you and share it with your own family. I'm going to take a little festive break now. I'm going to bugger off to the sun for my Christmas, but I'll be back on January the 6th. It's a memorable date with an amazing mini-series to banish those January blues. Until then, take care, be kind to yourself. you're bloody amazing, and if you can't have a happy Christmas, just have a Christmas, it's one day, you can do it. Love you!