The Life Of Bryony - The Life of YOU: Vogue Williams on Mum Guilt and Being ‘Too Much’

Episode Date: May 23, 2025

Welcome to The Life of YOU — the bonus series where we tackle your dilemmas and share advice to navigate life’s messier moments. This week, I’m joined again by presenter, author and podcast queen Vogue Williams, whose latest book Big Mouth is a tribute to living unapologetically, surviving chaos, and saying the things others are too afraid to. Together we answer your questions about being labelled ‘too much’, dealing with mum guilt, and why trying to ‘have it all’ is a myth women are still burdened with. Vogue talks about what it means to grow up loud, feel shame for taking up space, and how to let go of the people who make you feel small. We also share how many unread WhatsApps we each have, which is a lot. Today: 💬 Tanya asks how to stop apologising for being “too much” 🍼 Jade wants help managing the constant guilt of single motherhood and feeling like she’s always failing WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU 🗣 Got a question or a story to share? Text or send a voice note on 07796657512—just start your message with LOB💬 Use the WhatsApp shortcut: https://wa.me/447796657512?text=LOB📧 Prefer email? Drop us a line at [e-mail] If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it—it really helps! Bryony xx CREDITS 🎙 Presenter: Bryony Gordon 🧑‍ Guest: Vogue Williams 📝 Content Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan 🛠️ Studio Manager: Sam Chisholm 🎧 Audio & Video Editor: Luke Shelley 📢 Executive Producer: Mike Wooller A Daily Mail production. Seriously Popular. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Seriously popular Well, in 2022, a group of divers were sucked into an oil pipe and trapped deep beneath the sea. They could have been saved, but they weren't. Following their story has led us to lucrative contracts, failing safety standards and secretive political relationships. As we ask, why were those men left to die? This is Pipeline. Episodes one and two are out now. Follow Pipeline wherever you get your podcasts to make sure you never miss an episode. Welcome to the life of you, where we answer your questions and tackle the messy bits of

life. I'm joined once again by the brilliant Fogue Williams, presenter, podcaster and author of Big Mouth. Whether you're a stay at home mum or a working mum, I think that you're always going to feel some kind of level of guilt, but like realistically, you can't do it all. Your question's answered right after this. I've always been the big personality in the room, loud, messy, full on, and I've been told that's too much, too intense, too dramatic to everything. It's left me second guessing myself. How did you learn to own who you are without apologising? And that's from Tanya. Oh my God, I wouldn't, first of all, if somebody's saying that to that, I wouldn't really want to be spending time with them, that's really mean.

It's awful, isn't it? That's really, like, that's harsh. But I also think women do get that, you know we talk a lot about feeling like we're not enough, but actually I've always had the opposite, which is, like, I've definitely always felt that thing of being too much, like, and I think maybe it's more when I was a kid or in my like teams when that was like, oh, just, you know, like that, that idea that we have to be a bit, make ourselves like take up less space, you know? Yeah, I don't know.

I suppose I only really realize how loud I am is when I'm with like my sisters who's loud as well. And maybe if you bring someone into the group who's quieter than you kind of notice that you're like you're a bit overbearing. I think I don't think that you should apologize for being you or being what you want. I think that's really unusual for somebody to say something like that to you as well. But some people I find like, do you know if you're like if you have a fight with somebody and like you're like you'll say something but like you'll never say something like really mean.

I think some people can be so cutthroat they can say like the meanest thing to you just because they're trying specifically to hurt you and that sounds like one of them comments. It's like you can come but just don't be yourself. No thanks, I'd rather not go. Yeah. So the way of Tanya to learn to own who you are is to get rid of the people that telling you that who you are is too much. Yeah. I think that you should just, I wouldn't have people like that around me. No way. No, they can fuck off. You're rude. Get lost.

Who are these people? OK, so Jade is talking about mum guilt. So she says, I'm a single mum and every day feels like I'm failing at something. If I nail work, I miss bath time. If I'm with my child, I forget to reply to clients. My laundry is the stuff of nightmares. How do you stop feeling like you're always letting someone down? I think first of all, being a single mom, fair play to you. I cannot imagine how difficult that would be. I've only kind of experienced it in short bursts when Svenny goes away. And so first of all, you're nailing it no matter what you think you're doing, because being able to do that is amazing.

And we all have mom guilt all the time. Like, I feel guilty when I'm working a lot of the time that I feel guilty when I'm with them, but I'm spending more time with one of them. And I feel like I spend a lot of time with Theodore and Gigi because I have to bring them so many places that I'm having to create time to spend with Otto on his own. And I think that you always just I think actually be more like my mom. I asked her, I was like, do you ever get mom guilt?

And she's like, what? I was like, mom guilt when you used to work. She's like, no. And when I used to come home and you'd be out playing with your friends and then you'd cry when I was going out for dinner with my friends and I'd say, well, you left me here on my own all day. So my mom genuinely didn't experience it and I think as women we put so much pressure on ourselves to be able to do everything and actually like even you're going out there and you're working that's great for your child to see that you're

that that's what you do and like whether you're a stay-at-home mom or a working mom I think that you're always going to feel some kind of level of guilt. But like realistically, you can't do it all. No, you can't. And I but you know what? That's the important thing to say, because I think especially women of our generation, we were definitely brought up with that thing of like, you can have it all. Yeah. Like that question in itself, like, you know, like high profile

women always ask questions in interviews where it's like, do you think you can have it all? Yeah. And I'm like, no one is asking that question of men. No, no one is. They're not expected to have it all. They're just like, oh, maybe they are. And they're just, we don't even ask the question.

It's like, also, I think of like, I don't want to have it all. I don't need to be everything to everyone. You know, like, sometimes the laundry is a nightmare. You know what I sometimes the laundry is a nightmare. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And sometimes we do forget to reply to an email or several emails.

Oh my God, honestly, how many WhatsApps? I think I have 364 unread WhatsApps. It's terrible. I just have a permanent WhatsApp, like status update, which is just like crap at WhatsApp. Don't expect a response. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but I think that you can only do as best as you can do. And like you probably think that you're failing like crap at WhatsApp, don't expect a response. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, but I think that you can only do as best as you can do. And like, you probably think that you're failing. This girl probably thinks that she's failing. It doesn't really sound like you are. You're working, you're looking after your child, you're doing the very best you can do and that's all you can do. And actually that's a really good way, like reframe.

Yeah. Like you're not failing, you're human-ing. And actually, why don't you look at the amount you are doing as opposed to focusing on Like you're not failing your human-ing and actually why don't you look at the amount you are doing as opposed to focusing on what you're not. A big thank you to our Big Mouth Vogue. Her book Big Mouth is out now. If something here resonated with you, please share it and follow, subscribe and most importantly, be kind to yourself. We'll see you next time. In 2022, a group of divers were sucked into an oil pipe and trapped deep beneath the sea.

They could have been saved, but they weren't. Following their story has led us to lucrative contracts, failing safety standards and secretive political relationships. As we ask, why were those men left to die? This is Pipeline. Episodes one and two are out now. Follow Pipeline wherever you get your podcasts to make sure you never miss an episode. Hello podcast listener. If you're a small business owner or marketing lead looking to grow your brand or drive sales, get your podcasts to make sure you never miss an episode. sent higher ROI than any other media channel. If you're ready to reach an audience that truly listens, advertise with us.

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