The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 213 - Greg Fleet & Xavier Michelides

Episode Date: October 28, 2014

Fleety Gets Lost, Hypotheticals and Xavier's Corner.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey Sydney mates, we've got a live Little Dumb Dumb Club coming for you November the 30th on a Sunday. It's going to be super great. We've been doing these over the country a little bit recently and it's been so fun to meet people. So tickets are on sale now, littledumbdumbclub.com. Come out, support the podcast and say g'day and we'll see you there. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dumb Dumb Club for another week. Thanks for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo.

Sitting opposite me, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, dickhead. What have you got for us up the top? Hey, so... Start strong. All right, bang. Just get in there, mate. A game. Just fucking go for it.

Heading up the podcast with this sweet tale. So we are recording this just before we leave to go to Perth to do our live podcast in Perth. Correct. And we've got a lot of people booked in. We've got a lot of interest. We've got a lot of listeners in Perth. There is a lot of interest, isn't there? They seem like good people.

They seem like good people over there. Until I got this text message with my number being out there all over the internet from a person I don't know. Can I have a free ticket to your Perth show? And I'm sure they got a polite, courteous response. You would think so. I haven't actually replied because I was too mad at the time. So I was like, oh, I don't want to reply when I'm this mad

in case they end up buying a ticket. But then they said, we'll reward with Nando's. So it's proof that they know about the show, but they're just shit people. Yeah. But it's kind of like, because you could just like squeeze the cost of the ticket amount of money worth of Nando's out of them. Yeah.

And then it's just like, well, why don't you just buy a ticket... ...and don't get me Nando's? Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you... Well, yeah, I'll be interested to see if this person turns up. Because I haven't replied. So we'll do a shout-out at the Perth show.

By the time this is out, we will have met this person as well... ...because we're recording this well in advance. But a little bit of sizzle for next week. Should we talk about this? That we have been given a tour. We've been promised a tour of McDonald's when we're in Perth. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Parents of

Joel Creasy, friend of the show, who own McDonald's, are going to give us a tour. And we just heard they're going to teach us how to make a burger back there. So we're going to get a little training set. I think this means we work at McDonald's now. I think they've employed us. I think we have to live in Perth now. I've got more job prospects over there than I do back here.

Let's get rid of the podcast. Well, joining us on the show today, first of all, from Stand Up at Belly Union and, more importantly, Xavier's Corner, it's Greg, no, Xavier Michaelides. Yeah. Thank you. It's great to be back. It's the great return.

We've been handed a USB stick It has Xavier's Corner on it Ready to go, pre-recorded Armagard has brought it in They've backed the truck up They've given us the sweet produce Sweet produce And also joining us

Arguably the sweetest produce Of Australian comedy The sweetest combo of Australian comedy. The sweetest combo of Australian and comedy. From Down Your Feet, it's Greg Fleet. Yay! Because the show has been on, your show

Down Your Feet, has been on the television. It's been on the television. Very well hidden, but it was on the television. But I feel like that's kind of like a big thing. It's like a closure for a big thing of the podcast. Because one of the first episodes of the show you were on and you were talking about I think you were either just about to film. No, you just filmed it.

I think we were actually filming. Yeah, this was in the late 50s. Yeah, yeah. And you promised both of us a role in season two. So now that season one's been on. It's still happening. It can happen. I do like the idea that you'd do a season two now

with a gap of like six years in between. It's like, anyway, here's what happened the day after the season finale. It's like everyone's visibly quite older. Something happened that made everyone age radically. You know when you have those reunions and they bring people back and you go, oh, they all look different. You can have a reunion after the very last episode and everyone's going to look weird and much older.

Yeah, true. You've got a reunion after the very last episode and everyone's going to look weird and much older. Yeah, true. You've got to write that into the story. Maybe there's some sort of radiation beneath the stage that made everyone age quicker. Your both go-to idea is radiation. What's your go-to advanced ageing idea, Carl? Other than time. Time itself.

It's the only ageing thing I know of. But I love the way that this is built in because it's about stand-up comics. It's literally just this one comedy club where they find radiation under the stage. Yeah. That's a great storyline. Chandler can be the guy. Chandler's running. The Chernobyl chocolate club.

Yeah. That's part of the cold open. It's like some sort of Russian spire. Where did I put this? What if we just give it a bit of current sizzle and give it a bit of Ebola? Oh, yeah. Everyone's comics have got Ebola.

We did a tour of somewhere in Africa. You say keep it current. It's like you'll film this and it's not going to be on the air for another five years. Yeah, Ebola will be so old soon. Did he say he was wearing an Ebola hat? Ebola. Oh, that's sort of like bringing up flares. And Ebola is sort of advanced ageing in the way that you die in a couple of days.

That's very, you can't even, they say it's the only disease that will kill you before you can film an episode of 20 years later. The only one. We've tested it out on other diseases, but we still cranked out a couple of episodes on those ones. Now, we are doing this at my house, and we're very lucky to have you here, Greg Fleet. You sure are, for a number of reasons.

For a number of reasons, yeah. Now, so this is what happens. Anytime Carl is liaising with a guest to get them to my house, you've asked me for my address maybe 50 times now. Well, I'll say every week. In fact, this morning you asked me for my address last night on Facebook. I'd given it to you and then I'd said something else and then you just asked me for it again.

Like you could still see on the screen where the address was. Like it was literally right there. But so we came straight from doing another one of these and uh and we found uh a young greg fleet sort of just stumbling around the street stumbling and not only i was on my way to a cafe to ask them a if they knew you if they knew where you lived see because i left my phone in a cab i don't have a phone so i was gonna go have you got uh like some kind of you know internet or whatever that i can i don't have a phone so i was going to go have you got uh like some kind of you know internet or whatever that i can i was going to have to try and contact contact carl by messenger

it was like a nightmare but i he'd said to me the other day i would do it at tommy's um i always forget the address and then i i contacted him this morning said what's the address and he told me and uh i went to that address which um i went to that address and went to open the door and it was locked and i went that's weird it's like the screen door was locked like someone's at work someone's not coming home and i stood around and then i started getting spoken like a true burglar oh and i let myself in i was going oh this is bad. And then I just kept hearing, oh, I always forget the address in the back of my mind, going, no, no.

So I went and knocked on the doors on either side to see if they knew you. They weren't home either. Then I went back to the address I'd been given and went through their recycling bin looking for mail, looking for something that would have your name on it. Oh, I thought you were looking for, for like thinking Tommy's one of those guys that writes his name on his milk.

Yeah. Me and Kieran Perkins lived together and he taught me that. In the bin, I now know stacks about the woman who lives at the number that you gave me. I won't say what it is. But I know that she graduated from an Italian course in 1990. I know that her first name is Carol and I know that she's recently thrown out a lot of her old academic stuff.

I was going to say, why is that in the bin? I don't know. It's a little black and everything. Maybe something bad happened to Carol. Yeah. What did she graduate from? Some Italian language course. A language course.

And you're looking for the House of Dassolo and so you're seeing that and you're thinking, oh, I'm on the right track. I was actually going, what's your partner's name? I don't think it's Carol. But then, yeah, how desperate to just go, oh, there's a cafe. I'll go in there and just on the off chance. I was so broken. That's not as desperate as going through someone's bin box.

Oh, yeah, I've done that. I was so broken. Did you go through the cafe's rubbish as well? I was so broken did you go through the cafes rubbish as well I was going to but I literally he only knows it's a cafe because there's a bunch

of sandwiches in a bin and just went well that's a cafe I'm assuming it had taken me so long to get here from St Kilda and I was so

and I'd gone to you know Rose Street Rose Street all these you know similar name streets should I just give out my address on the podcast

no I said the number and no one can remember the number but? No, I'll just give the number. And no one can remember the number. But by the time I was going to the cafe to ask them, I didn't even know what I was going to ask them. I was just walking. I was slumped. I was defeated.

And then I just hear filth being yelled out from behind me. And it sort of filled my heart with joy. And I turn around and someone's giving me the finger out of a car. I don't know. It's got to be them. To be fair, the filth I was yelling at you was your own routine. Yeah, that's true. I kind of wish the story had gone a little further because I'd love to know how my neighbours or the cafe respond to,

do you know Tommy Dazzolo? Do you know which house is his? Do you know when he'll be home? I've got one back for you. Can you stop going through my beans? That great tradition where when you're going out, you just walk up every house in your street and go, just popping out for a couple of hours, guys.

I'll be home at about 2.30. I'm here for a podcast. It's the Guess Who podcast. I like the idea that you're the character of this neighbourhood. Everyone knows Tommy Dasolo. Just wandering around waving. He's a normal kid. Oh, it's T-Dog.

Everyone's all excited. Because that's how I like to think of myself. And so had Fleety's story gone on a little further, I feel like my idea of myself would have been pretty shattered. Do you know what I mean? Well, I like the fact that once you guys had found me in the car and I was like, oh, it's them, great. You guys get out of the car, we're talking,

and I start telling you the story and you're going, oh, that's great. And we start walking into the wrong house. I'm going, what are we doing? And, of course, it wasn't the number that Carl had given me. Well, it was good because your story led off with how well do you know your neighbours? Like, what's this possibly going to be about? Have you seen one in the street that you find kind of sexy

and you want me to hook you up? Like, what's the story here? Well, I know with mine in particular, if you speak in of sexy and you want me to hook you up? Like, what's the story here? Well, I know with mine in particular, if you speak in Italian, you've got a good chance. Look, I'd love to give you their phone number, but I dare say I don't have the right one. No, you're good with phone numbers. It's just

addresses. Oh, yeah. Because then Xavier Michaelides, when he turned up, I'd ring him and go, are you here? He goes, yeah, I'm just out the front of the house. And I went, oh, yeah. That could be anywhere. Probably not. I didn't start going through the rubbish, but I was still a little nervous because the garden looked really nice.

I just couldn't think of a better garden. Was it not this place? No, I think it was the one with the number down there. It was a beautiful garden, looked too nice. When you rent, as if you're putting any effort into the garden. Yeah. What do we care? Maybe people around the neighbourhood know you better. You've got a better garden. looked too nice. I was like – When you rent, as if you're putting any effort into the garden. Yeah. What do we care? Maybe people around the neighbourhood know you better.

You've got a better garden. Well, maybe – Two houses away. That's like someone has a radio show. That's like a radio show garden. Yeah. This is a podcast garden. Yeah.

That's commercial radio garden. I live three doors down from Triple M. I don't think they've put it out yet. Yeah. That's just reminded me. My ex-girlfriend, one time she lived in a share house and then she moved out and six months later she was near the house where she used to live, getting pissed, and got so pissed that she thought

that she still lived at that house. Like even though she'd moved out for six months and just went in, I think the door was unlocked or something, went in, fucking made herself food out of the fridge. And like the person who was in her room was like away or out, but like she fucking made herself food out of the fridge. And, like, the person who was in her room was, like, away or out, but, like, she's gotten the food, gotten into bed and then looked around and kind of come to and gone. Because she's, you know, obviously blind drunk and gone,

oh, wait, I don't live here, and then had to, like, but just caught herself. And not only that, but I didn't pay any of the bills when I left, so I'm going to split before someone finds me. Yeah, exactly. I love it if she was drunk enough to not think that, oh, I don't pay any of the bills when I left so I'm going to split before someone finds me. Yeah, exactly. I love it if she was drunk enough to not think that I don't live here anymore but someone's replaced my fucking furniture. Well, that's it.

It's kind of at odds with itself, isn't it? Also, she's checked the mail and gone, oh, I'll just redirect all of this mail drunk. Put the wrong person's name on it. I never finished that Italian course. It's ridiculous. Because you know when you come home and go through your own bin. That's the only way I ever lock myself out.

I just start going through the bin. Just to make sure I live there. Did I borrow myself keys recently? Any of those recyclable keys out there? Very quickly, we just came from lunch. You and I just had lunch with a friend of the show, Demi Lardner. And on the way out, you guys went to get money. I went in and paid the bill.

I'm a big fan of, anyone that listens to this show will know, I'm a big fan of dessert. I've got a sweet tooth. I looked in the cake cabinet. I love a good cake, a good chocolate cake. Went in there and there's, you know, you've got about six, seven, eight cakes. They've misspelt one of the cakes. So they've got about six, seven, eight cakes. They've misspelt one of the cakes. So they've got a cake there.

It's like filled with chocolate and nougat and caramel and stuff like that. What cake would that be? Fuck Forest Cake? Hang on. What was it? Chocolate, nougat? Caramel. Caramel Mars Bar Cake?

Oh, that would be the correct spelling of the cake. Arse Bar. This was Mark's cake. As in the Mark's brothers or it belongs to Mark? It belongs to Mark. Mark's cake. So that was just there for the spoiler clearly. Yeah, you asked for a slice like, no, man, that's Mark's cake.

Sorry, right? How do you accidentally whack a K in there? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it starts off with a Mars bar, like the recipe is Mars bar cake. whack a K in there. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's, it could be, but it could be, maybe it's, I don't know, maybe it starts off with a Mars bar, like the recipe

is Mars bar cake and there's some extra thing that they add in. Well, I like the chef's name is Mark and he goes, no, I deserve, this deserves to be a new type of cake.

Or they've whacked it in there and like you, like, and the Mars Corporation have been dining in there one night and gone, pretty sure that's illegal and they've gone, all right,

is there anything about putting a whack and a K in the name of a cake? And then no lawsuit. I actually knew a guy who used to – a guy called Mark who used to – was actually an awesome chef who used to make this cake. And I swear to God, you'd eat it and you'd go to work and, like, you'd get that sugar rush. So you'd go to work and you'd work for it and you'd just get that thing

where you just had to, like, fucking chill out and just rest, you know. And then you'd just get sugar rush. So you'd go to work and you'd work for a while, then you'd just get that thing where you just had to, like, fucking chill out and just rest, you know. And then you'd just get energised again and you'd want to, like, you'd play tennis or something like that. And that's, I'm pretty sure, where the term marks a day makes you work, rest and play comes from. So you just put that in with the Italian diploma. Put it in the bin. A classic fleet.

You know what the weird thing was? I think this goes to show how well I've gotten to know you. As soon as you started speaking, in my head I went, this won't be genuine. This is a con. This is a long con. Hey, I haven't told this. This happened a little while ago.

I was at a party with a couple of friends and it got to about 2 o'clock and we left to go home. There were three of us and we were quite pissed. And as you do when you're drunk, we wanted to get some Hungry Jacks and we were trying to think of where the nearest one would be. And we were sort of not far from Southern Cross Station. And so we thought, oh, the Southern Cross Station Hungry Jacks. And we're trying to look it up online to see if it's open.

It's like, oh, is that a 24-hour one? And my friend... One of Cross Station Hungry Jacks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're trying to look it up online to see if it's open. It's like, oh, is that a 24-hour one? And my friend... One of the great Hungry Jacks of Melbourne, because you're coming off the Skybus and then you're walking out, the first thing to eat is Hungry Jacks. Yeah. I've been there quite a bit. Yeah, it is great.

So we... That's your favourite part of any trip. Yeah. You can go overseas. You still come back and go, well, Hungry Jacks when I arrive, this is awesome. Yeah, it is good. Yeah, I'm not saying it's... I'm agreeing. Love it. I'm going, well, Hungry Jack's when I arrive, this is awesome. Yeah, it is good. I'm not saying it is.

I'm agreeing. I'm going to say, I know this is interrupting your story, but my favourite Hungry Jack's is the Hungry Jack's McDonald's combo on Swanston Street because you can go in and get your thick shake from McDonald's and your burgers from Hungry Jack's. That's the good combo. It's pretty good. Anytime, yeah, when there's a cluster of them, that's what you want.

Yeah, that is useful information. Yeah. We should be doing a bit of that every week. But anyway, so we called up, my friend called up and he's like pissed and he's like slurring down the phone. He's like, are you guys still open? And they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're open 24 hours. And he goes, okay, great.

I was just wondering if I can book a table for um under the name Rasmussen for the party of four um will there be room for us and they're like yep yep yep there'll be room and he goes okay so just want to book that in party of four under Rasmussen they'll be we'll be there in like maybe

like within five minutes so that's all good that's all locked and just went on and on and on and on. I'm crying because the other thing is he keeps saying party of four. There's fucking three of us. I was even thinking that. Didn't you say there was three? Again and again and again.

So then we walk down there and I get in one line and he gets in the other line and he gets to the counter and he goes, just wondering if you got the call about the booking that we just made a few moments ago for a table for four of us? And the guy goes, yep, just as you can see there's plenty of tables. You can sit wherever you would like. And he just keeps going. Mr Russ Muzzin.

Did anyone back there take, because he just wanted the validation of just seeing the person that he spoke to. He wanted to see a reserved sign on a table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in your hometown the other day. I was in Geelong. I went to a Bucks night, a Bucks weekend. And do you guys, here's the thing.

So I didn't know everyone at the Bucks weekend. There was a couple of people I knew and then there was a bunch of other people. And it's that horrible thing and you guys, I presume, would have experience. You know when you have got friends that know what you do, that know the work in comedy, but then someone new comes in and your friends are very happy to go, oh, wait till, yeah, come and meet this bloke. Come and meet Xavier. He's a comedian.

He's a comedian. Wait till the, and then the other guys are sort of like, oh, oh, we're going to meet a comedian. It's a very weird moment. Like they don't know whether you're going to walk in, go juggling and do crazy stuff or whatever it is. So, you know, have you had that sort of awkward... Yeah, because it's always easy when you introduce yourself because I just downplay and go, oh, something comedian.

And then a bit if your friends are doing it, they're like, this is going to be the best. And it's not at all ever going to be the best. It's never the best. Ever. It's going to be the worst. Never the best, Michael Egan. To be fair, there's only one thing that's the best,

so there's a lot of things that aren't the best. That's true. So I come in. There can only be one thing that's the best. It's the best. And that's the burgers at Hungry Jack's. Or the thick shakes at McDonald's So I walk into this box tonight

And there's like three or four people that I don't know And they've been given the hint of what I do So this one guy It's like a white erp Has got to make a stand in a cowboy town or whatever This new guy's come in So this guy fancies himself as being funny. Fuck, what?

What was that analogy? Yeah. It's like there's two, this town ain't big enough for the two of us. All right, Sheriff Chandler, let's keep going. So this guy clearly thinks he's funny. So I've come in and he's gone, ah. Funny man. Yeah, yeah.

He's come straight up to me and gone, ah, funny man, are you? And I'm like, oh. We've all got jobs, you know to me and gone, oh, funny man, are you? And I'm like, oh. We've all got jobs, you know, whatever. So he goes, funny man, eh? Eh? And then gives me a full stubby and goes, well, skull that then. Because that's what Hughesy did on the gala this year. So it's just a skull to beer.

Why does that equal that? You can't do someone else's material. So I'm like, no, I'm not going to do it. And he's like, you're just shoving it in my face, going, no, you've got to scald it. That's the rules. You've got to scald it. You've got to scald it.

I'm like, no, I'm not going to scald it. He goes, scald it now and I'll bloody, I won't heckle you for the rest of the night. Heckle you? Yeah, yeah. As opposed to just give you the shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you're performing.

Yeah. I love the layperson's definition of heckle. You know when it's like an audience member who doesn't know much about comedy will talk about going to a gig and will say, I hope the comedian doesn't heckle me from on stage. Yeah, yeah. No, that's not how it works. It's not like in the middle of the audience laughing you're going,

boo, you're shit at laughing. Like that's the only way you that's not how it works it's not like in the middle of the audience laughing you're going boo you're shit at laughing like that's the only way you can feasibly do it but even that way to sit down order another drink you fuckhead so he

he goes out he's like you're going you gotta drink you gotta drink it I won't heckle you for the rest of the night I'm like

I'll take the heckle and he goes no no no I'll get him I'll get him some comic yeah and he goes I'll get him some comic and he goes to his mate he's that drunk he doesn't know that I can hear things he says three feet in front of him

he goes I'll get him I'll get him I'm going to tie his shoes together here's the thing so he goes the rest of the night he kept coming up and going, ready to scull that beer yet? Got that beer? Gonna scull that beer yet? And I'm like, I'm not

gonna scull the beer. But also, you mentioned that you're at a Bucks party, right? At the start of the story. What a wowser. Just scull the fucking beer. Where do you think you are? You're letting all us comedians down. Now word's getting around how we can't scull our beers.

We're all weak dogs, everyone's going to think. That's how you... He probably used to work at Hey Hey because that's how he used to get a spot. You'd scull a beer. Is that how it happened? Cleary backing up. Yeah, absolutely.

That was Daryl's whole thing. Aussie was in charge of sculling beers. He explains a lot of things about Hey Hey since there was Plucker and Aussie Ostrich on then. It must have meant a lot of beer involved. Can I just say this very quickly? I told you this the other day, Carl. all the things about Hey Hey since there was Plucker and Aussie Ostrich on then. There must have been a lot of beer involved. Can I just say this very quickly? I told you this the other day, Carl.

I've had new people move into this house, a couple, one of whom is Dutch, and Hey Hey It's Saturday came up in passing the other day and she'd never heard of it. And so I got the joy of getting to explain the concept of Hey Hey. Which would sound far worse than it was. Yes, exactly. Just going, going yeah there's like a cartoonist and a guy on a microphone and a little mop with a hat and an ostrich and they can all just interrupt

a really sexist racist voice that just comes in every now and then and a voice of a guy just many things that get in the way of any interview any sort of entertainment and it was the biggest show on Australian TV for over a decade. Fleety, were you ever on Heyo Sunday? No, never.

You didn't go close? No. I mean, by the time I was really kind of doing comedy and stuff, I didn't want to. It got to that stage where it was like, no, I didn't see it being that helpful. Yeah, right. And also it was one of those things you'd go on,

so many people go on who were very good and they'd start doing their thing and then all that stuff would start. You'd go, oh, he's a bit fat, isn't he? Just voices, you know. I remember seeing a woman. I think Dickie Knee. Mr Summers, he's a bit fat. Yeah.

A woman I knew was on there playing piano in a band and it's just this normal band going along, you know, just singing. The camera goes to her legs under the piano and she didn't have tiny legs. She wasn't, you know, like a supermodel and the camera just stayed in her legs and just all these jokes about fat legs,

unshaven legs, just horrible. I just like the cameraman, the bit of upskirting work happening on national television. Well, if she listened to the rules, she sculled that beer, she wouldn't have got hecked. Exactly. And from then on, she's a sculling machine. So he does that right and he's saying to his mate, I'll get him, I'll get him, I'll get him still.

So the rest of the night, he's still going, you ready to scull that beer? You ready to scull that beer? And I'm like, I'm not going to scull the beer. I'm not 14. I'm not going to do it. How bored is this guy as well? Like, that speaks about the lack of entertaining people at this party. Yes.

The best thing, he can't get wound up in any interesting conversations. He's just, the only source for him is to just watch someone drink something quickly. Or he hasn't even said to you, hey, do some material. No, no, no. Or tell us a joke. Yeah, yeah. That would make more sense.

I think he got the words comedian and alcoholic. And rapid alcoholic. So he's done that for a while and then we go to a pub and then he's still going. He's in his element now. Yeah, yeah. He deliberately sat next to me and all night when he thought I wasn't looking. That's something not many people do as well, deliberately sit next to Carl.

You can tell because that rarely happens. Yeah, I keep giving them the wrong house numbers. I tried to move in next door to Carl once and I was like nine houses down. So he sat next to me and every time he thought I wasn't looking he'd pour more beer into my glass. So you were actually gradually sculling it through the night. At the end of the night you'd go, you sculled

it. It took four hours. So he keeps filling it up thinking, I don't know, he thinks I'm getting more drunk or he thinks I'm not noticing and all it's doing is making sure I haven't bought a beer all night. Yeah, I'm saying he's kind of like, he's not so much a heckler as he is a waiter. Was he a waiter? When he said, I'll get you, was it like another drink?

I'd drink, get you a drink. I'll get him some lobster Thermidor. This fuckhead in his little vest and his bow tie. I'll get him not hungry anymore. So he keeps pouring beer and then I catch him and he'd go, duh, eh, eh? And I'm like, oh, yeah, okay. I don't know what's happening, but he's nudging his mates going,

I'm fixing this guy up. And he's still saying, you know, I'm going to get him. So we go through the whole night. I literally haven't bought a beer. I just keep getting it topped up all night. We get to like about midnight. We've moved in. That was in the beer gun.

We move inside watching sport on TV, whatever. I'm at the bar. We're talking at the bar for ages. I go to sit down. As I go to sit down, he races over, grabs the chair, and pulls it out from underneath me. I go fully collapsed oh no

he got you and he goes I told you I'd get you like what how is that getting like the getting was drinking

wasn't it the getting was getting me to skull something and then he's just like seen an inch and taken a mile and then gone that's

well that's something that's something I mean he did get you yeah yeah he got you. Yeah. And you couldn't have had more warning. This is your fault.

You're an idiot to sit on that chair. When he first said, scull this beer, I should have gone, jeez, I better sit down on that chair properly. I better glue a chair to my arm. That's the pulling the chair out. That is an old school prank. Yeah. That's real old school.

But it's like 12 or 1 o'clock at night, right? The pub's full of people who have been drinking all day. No one knows each other. It's in a beach town. And so he pulls his chair out and it just looks like a horrible act of violence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one laughs. It's just me on the ground and my mates around me going, sorry about that.

Yeah. And him going, got him. Sorry about that. Yeah. And him going, got him. Speaking of people being confused about comedy, I was doing a gig with a friend of the show, Justin Hamilton. We were both sitting having a drink after the gig and this guy came up.

And usually people come up after the show and they'll be like, oh, well done, that was great. Or, you know, here's a joke I've thought of or whatever. This guy walked up to both of us and all he said was, mate, I'm going to get out of here, you're going to get a choc milk and have a great time. And then left. And I turned to Hammo and go, Hammo, did you mention choc milk in your show?

And he's like, no. And I go, I didn't. What the fuck was that about? I'm going to get a choc milk and have a good time. Wow. That's also like just a really cheerful thing to say to someone. It's a really positive, nice thing to say. Yeah.

It's just filling people in on your future plans. It's nice. So if he had insisted on me sculling a choc milk, I would have done that. Yeah. That's something nice to scull. Yeah. Like I enjoy that story.

Yeah. Speaking of the chair prank thing though, that old school prank, this is something I haven't talked about yet. This happened a couple of months ago. I was up in Sydney doing gigs at the Comedy Store and comedians who have not been on the show yet, but people from Sydney might know, Ray Badron and Chris

Wainhouse were both on the bill. And Ray Badron had written a kick me sign on the back of the running order for the gig and then given Chris Wainhouse a hug before he was about to go on stage and went, just have a great gig out there, mate. Have a great gig out there. And then he stuck the sign to him and then Wayne House turned around and Badrin realised he'd put the tape on the wrong

side of the bit of paper. So the kick me was like facing in. So it was just like... Just a set list. Yeah, just a set list. He goes, oh, I fucked it and like pulled it off. We were all laughing about it. Like, oh, how did you get it so wrong? What an idiot. Anyway, then Wayne House... That's actually a much better prank, just to have

someone with a list of names Stuck to someone's back Because I'd be more likely to go What a fucking idiot Yeah If this guy's just got Random names on his back

Yeah what a freak Yeah But so then Wayne House goes on And there was this girl That had been talking all night And he was like People had been telling her

To shut up all night In the audience And she You know Wasn't doing it And he was like The second last act on And so he just

Went her And she kept going back And he was like the second last act on. And so he just went her and she kept going back and he was like just destroyed her and got her kicked out of the venue. And the whole audience are chanting going, get her out, get her out, and security come in and march her out and go, you know, you've been told you're disrupting the show, get out. And like the whole audience are cheering as she's being taken out and going, yeah, fucking, and Wayne House is just dancing on stage. And then we were saying later, fuck, imagine if he'd gone,

if he'd had the kick me on his back. Just that moment of like him turning around and going, no one gets the better of Chris Wayne House than turning around and just a big kick me on the back of him. But we became obsessed and I haven't done this yet. We were talking about it would be such a great thing to start trying to put a kick me on the back of a comic before they go on stage for a gig because it's that.

But how many people have material where they have to turn around and. But that's the thing. You have to know. If you know there's a comic that has a bit where they do a bit of side on work, those are the people you'd be targeting. I do. I've got a lot of side on work. You do got a lot of side on work.

I do. I do some stuff where I turn around at least once. Yeah? Yeah. I also love the old schoolers. I've also got a bit where I'm like, I hope I don't have a kick me sign on me. So that would be really good. If you could get on before that gag.

I just like... I've got 10 minutes where I want the audience to kick me in the ass and I have no way of letting them know. And they never do. They never do. Yeah. I just love thinking about the reality. And they never do. They never do. Yeah. I just love thinking about the reality. Like when you do that as a prank to someone,

like actually thinking about what you're really expecting to happen, like the idea that there's just this kind of silent agreement that everyone in society has with each other, that if you see someone in the street with a sign that says, kick me, it's like, well, I've got to do what they want. Like the idea that you put that on someone's back… …and it might actually happen. Yeah.

That's not…the police didn't put that there. Kicking someone is…I was with a mate in Edinburgh one year. This must be ten years ago. Or… Or last week? No, it was actually even more. It was more than ten years ago. But he was probably 30 at the time or 35 or something.

Early in the morning, like it must have been, I don't know, ten in the morning, we hadn't been to bed. He was quite pissed and he was quite a – one of those drunk guys who'd get drunk and then talk to strangers or end up in fights or whatever. But he just went up to a guy who was at a bar or a cafe or something. The guy might have been having breakfast on his way to work, I don't know.

But he bent over to do something. My friend just went up and kicked him in the arse. It was really funny but it was really confrontational. I was like, oh, my God. What have you just done? You just don't do that. You just don't kick strangers. To me though

It's like It's a pure distillation of comedy The idea of someone Kicking someone in the bum Is just like That's just pure funny Yeah If it's one kick

It's hilarious If it's like 20 kicks Yeah Kicking someone to death Is not as funny It's not as funny It's a fine line between Murder and comedy

It's like a lot of those things That like Go on for ages And they stop being funny And they start being funny again Yeah It's like right funny. It's a fine line between murder and comedy. It's like one of those things that go on for ages and they stop being funny and they start being funny again. It's like right before the person dies, it's like really funny again. Yeah, but it's totally losing it. And then they die and it's like, oh, no, well, now it's really funny. What you can do, that's actually, that's like watching the comedy channel, flicking over to the crime channel and then back to the comedy channel.

That's like the rule of three, like three kicks to the face is funny, but then when it's just the four, it's like, oh. Yeah, it's like if you're going to do it once, you've got to do it those three times. Speaking of getting drunk and talking to people. You're pointing at me, I'm going, uh-oh. No, no, no, no, no. I was quite drunk a few weeks ago in Brisbane

and I was after a gig, I was at a club, and this person took a photo of me, said, can I take a photo? And I was so drunk I thought, oh, maybe they saw me at the show, they want to take a photo of me. And I thought, and they sort of took the photo and they went back to a table and all their friends looked at the photo and started laughing together.

And I went, oh, I'm guessing they're taking a photo of me. And also I just did a shot and went like that because I couldn't handle the shot and I did a little jiggling noise. So they must have thought, oh, they took a photo of me because they're making fun of me. I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to sit down, I did a little jiggling noise And so they must I thought Oh they took a photo of me Because they're making fun of me I know what I'm going to do I'm going to sit down I'm going to talk to them

All night And I just sat down And for three hours I just talked at them And just did that thing Where they couldn't talk to each other I was always dominating conversation Never saying anything rude or mean

I just was like This night is ruined Because there's nothing worse Than hanging out with your friends When one person dominates That you don't know You know what you did what you got him i got him i got him good i got him so good that i eventually forgot why i was there and then all the people i was there with left yeah and then i sort of walked out and i hugged them all i think

i forgot what the plan was doing but i just ended up being what i was pretending to be doing stuff like that is is the most i went i was meeting um uh friend of i was meeting friend of the show uh fiona o'laughlin somewhere at the gin palace one night she said yeah she said meet me at the gin palace and this was in her glorious drinking days. What did she drink? She used to be, apparently. Yeah, right. But I went to meet her and she was crawling back and forth in front of this, you know those horseshoe sort of tables, like booths.

Yeah. There's all these people in this booth, they're all looking at her and she's at the other end of the booth on the ground, crawling back and forth, like doing this kind of performance in front of this thing. So I go down and I'm going, oh, these are obviously her mates and, you know, whatever, you know, so I'm hanging around. And, you know, she gets up and comes with me and we leave.

And as we're leaving, I look at the people and they all look... I suddenly realised I couldn't quite place the looks on their faces. And then I said to her later, who were those people? And she said, what people? And I said, those people in that booth. And she said, I don't know, I don't know what you're talking about. And I realised what the look on their face was, was terror. She'd just gone over and dominated these people

and they had no idea who she was or what she was doing. But I did the same thing in Adelaide like ages ago, like Adelaide fringe years and years, I don't know, 20 years ago maybe. But I was, I think I was coming down off like drugs at the time, like yeah, I'd go over there and you know, suddenly I'd go, oh, I can't get my drugs anymore and I'd just have to go through horror. And so I had all these like, you know, trying to help with sleeping pills and stuff.

But I remember going, sitting at this, I don't even remember going and sitting there, I just remember waking up at this big round table of maybe 12 people, just sort of jolting awake and sitting up and looking and all of them were looking at me. I don't know what I'd done or what I'd said, but they were all just looking at me like whatever it was, it was fairly intense.

And I just got up and walked away because I thought there is no way, I'm not going to go into this with these people because it's not something I want to hear about. I've started to get really weird about like when you're in a cafe or restaurant or whatever and you're with mates and you're chatting and then the waiter comes over. Do you know what I mean?

Like I always kind of feel like I kind of have to put what I'm talking about on ice especially if it's like – It's really bad. Like I had this recently. I had a waiter kind of chiming in on the conversation. Like we were trying to remember who some guy who'd been on this TV show was and the waiter's just like chipping in, like as he came in on that point, he's like, oh, was it this guy?

And it's like, fair enough, because I guess that's sort of, that's kind of helpful, I guess. But then the next time he came back, this is a few months ago, I don't know if you remember that painting that I showed at the Live Adelaide podcast that a friend's parents had paid this guy to do. And so I was showing my mates who I was eating with, I was like, look at this fucked

painting. And then as the waiter came over, he was like, oh, can I see it? And I was like, no, not really. What if he knows, do you know what I mean? Like, what if he recognises that he might know him somehow? Like, I don't know. But I, this happened a few weeks ago, me and some friends were out drinking and we were sort of sitting around this bar and then there was an old man by himself next to us.

And it's kind of that weird thing when a person is, you know, obviously listening in on your conversation and obviously – and you feel like you should just kind of cut the bullshit and go, come on, come on in. Just, you know what I mean? Just join in. You're here. In or out.

You're obviously listening, yeah listening And so we were doing A thing that happens Quite frequently in the pub Where we were going through Some hypotheticals There's one that I was Obsessed with at the time Which was

Would you rather permanently Smell of shit or semen Oh I reckon I'd have to say semen It's a bad smell But shit is just Shit's Yeah I'd say semen And just's a bad smell, but shit is just shit. Yeah, I'd say semen and just always tell people

I eat heaps of burger rings. What? All I ever eat is the powder out of those two-minute noodles. That's all I ever eat. Does burger rings smell like semen? Mine does. Doesn't everyone? Doesn't everyone's semen? No, I think it has to smell. Or do you just cum when you eat burger rings smell like semen? Mine does. Doesn't everyone? Doesn't everyone's semen?

No, I think it has to smell. Or do you just cum when you eat burger rings? Yeah. Yeah. Every time I eat burger rings, I just cum really hard. No, but shit is just shit. He's just always orgasming in the snacks aisle at Safeway, so that's what it's smelling like.

You can pretend with semen. You could also somehow pass it off As I'm just so virile Or something Yeah No my thinking would be That with shit It's like people smell that And it's like that's bad

But it's like Oh that poor guy's had an accident Or something You know he's shitting himself In public That's really bad He must be sick or something Whereas with semen

It's like That guy smells like he's Carved in cum And there's no And there's no immediate explanation Oh but he might have just had Might have had a lot of sex because he's so cool

yeah and I don't think depends where you live you lived in France yeah but I love the idea of someone I love the idea

of seeing someone I was going along with that and smelling richly of cum and going wow that is a cool guy yeah because he's been polling

heaps actually and he never showers what a legend it smells like he's really happy all the time yeah so you're saying you'd rather people He's been polling heaps actually. And he never showers. What a legend. It smells like he's really happy all the time. So you're saying you'd rather people feel sorry for you than potentially either be creeped out. I think shit in people's head, there'd be a more immediate, plausible explanation.

100% of people know what that smell is. Yes, people might not. 100% of people know what the smell is. Some people might not know. Good point, good point. Anyway, so this is the kind of conversation we were having at this pub in a public bar, right? And so this guy is, you know, there's this old man and he's next to us.

Who ironically smelled of both Shazam and cum. That's what got me thinking about it. Yeah, so it's sort of, you know, it's that thing where... You get two waiters and one of them smelled of the... That's why you debate. One we like more. And he's eavesdropping going, semen's much cooler, guys, if you think about it.

I'm only smelling like that because I've been putting it in all your food. But this guy, so this old man. And he looks like Bishop from the end of Aliens. Sorry. He's kind of like, you know, sort of trying to look like he's not listening in. But he's obviously, because he's literally right next to us. We're sat curved around a bar. Anyway, then my friend Drew moves on to one of his favourite hypotheticals

which is if you were in... You're in a pool up to your neck of your own shit and above that there's a diving board and someone's on the diving board and they're taking a piss onto your face. Do you duck into the pool to avoid getting the piss on your face?

No. No. No. Why would you duck to get into that much shit? What about what's your favourite colour? Hey, take it easy, champ. It's a family show. You know when you're just down at the pub with your mates

and you're just talking about what your favourite colour is? But so anyway, right, so. I'd have no issue with someone pissing on me if I'm in a whole pool full of shit. Yeah. Yeah, well, that's. But anyway, so. I'd be grateful for that person.

I'd be like, thank you. You don't need a pool of shit going, excuse me. Yeah. How very dare you, sir. But so this hypothetical comes up and this is the breaking point for the old man. He just starts. He just fucking loses it. And at this point I go, well, we've got He just starts. He just fucking loses it.

And at this point I go, well, we've got to bring him in now. This is it. And I turn around and go, what do you reckon, champ? What would you do? Would you cop the piss or would you go under in the pool of shit? And he goes, oh, mate, I'm still bloody stuck on your semen one from ten minutes ago. And we go, oh, great, well, here he is.

He's part of our game now. And he goes, no, it's funny Because I was thinking That hypothetical That's reminded me That's reminded me Of a little story From when I was younger Uh oh Here we go

Any story about Smelling of shit and cum That reminds you of a story I was like Batting down the hatches We're in for a stormy one here But anyway His story was

I remember when Menzies came on. When Menzies jizzed on a shit. Menzies loved a bit of shit lube. He was telling us, he's like, when I was about 16 or whatever, I was seeing this girl, right? I had this girlfriend and, you know... I was watching Orson Welles' Citizen Come and... I was round at her house. Shit lube. I was round at girl, right? I had this girlfriend and, you know. I was watching Orson Welles' Citizen Come and I was round at her house.

Shit lube. I was round at her parents' house and, you know, we were in her bedroom hanging out and she was on the phone and she was just ignoring me and I'm trying to get her attention and she's just ignoring me on the phone. She's asking for it. And I think to myself, I'll show her. I'll get her.

Time to shit on her floor. So he goes, so I've dropped me dacks down and I've thrown her I'll get her I'm going to get her I'm going to get her So he goes So I've dropped me Dax down And I've thrown her A full brown eye But the angle That I was pointing at

As I've chucked The brown eye The door's opened And her dad's come in And I'm just there Bloody mooning her dad And I've got a Kick me sign on me back

But we So What a great relief How that story Turned out And you know what And then a Marks bar came out my ass. But I just love, so that's where that came from.

This guy would have been like in his 60s, like he was an old, old man. And just, I love that this relic from his youth, you know, that he's this one moment where he mooned a former lover's dad. He's stuck in his head decades and decades later. It was, yeah, it was kind of a new friend. They're new friends. You make them all the time.

New friends. New friends, everyone. Cheers. And also, not that relatable to what you were talking about. I know. I was. Did he. No, it was. Did he just come? He just had sex with her? No.

They were just hanging out. They were curious. They were on eyes close. I mean, when you pull your butt, it depends how clean your bum is. Hey, that pool of shit story reminds me of the time I got my bum out once. Yeah. You know, the thing that the shit comes out of. Maybe he didn't get to finish the story. Maybe the dad came on him.

Yeah. Aren't you brown, my mate? Ooh, burgering yummy. So this was a theatre restaurant, I'm presuming. Have some jizz in your face. Yeah, this guy was dressed up like Dracula at the time that he was telling us this. It was Gatesy.

Yeah, Gatesy used to work there, didn't he? Gatesy was Dracula for a while. Should we take a break and should we go into a segment that it's been a long time since we've heard from? And the main reason we got Xavier Michaelides back on the show is just because the mailbag's been full of people wanting this much-loved segment to reappear on the show. I think Fleet might not know what Xavier's Corner is.

Do you want to give it a bit of a summation to Fleety? Basically, it's my little part of this show. So within the Dum Dum Club, there's Xavier's Corner. And it's quite funny because this episode, it already feels like we've talked a lot about those things. It's food orientated. You guys know because you're all in it, obviously. I'm getting a Sesame Street vibe.

It's like someone's little segment in Sesame Street. Yeah, it's like a little segment. It's the itchy and scratchy to our The Simpsons. Oh, okay. A little bit. It's a podcast with a podcast. Huh? Yeah. It's the itchy and scratchy to our The Simpsons. Oh, okay. A little bit. It's a podcast within a podcast. Huh? Yeah.

It's the itchy and scratchy to our pooch. So do we need anything to set this up? It sets itself up. Just have a listen to Xavier's Corner. Let's hear it. Politics. Fashion. Popular culture.

Topics. You're standing in Xavier's Corner. Yes, and welcome back to another episode of Xavier's Corner. This week, we're talking about food, specifically McDonald's. To help with this discussion, I have two guests. From the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Tommy Dasolo. Thanks for having me. And also from the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Tommy Dasolo. Thanks for having me. And also from the Little Dumb Dumb Club, Carl Chandler.

G'day, dickhead. That's great stuff. Xavier's Corner. Now, Tommy, I'll start with you. What was your first memory of McDonald's? I think for me, my first memory was when I was about probably six years old. Which was yesterday. Kiss you, little... Oh, Carl, stop it.

Xavier's Corner. Okay, Tommy, and what would be your favourite McDonald's restaurant? I'd probably say the one in the city that's near Victoria Market. Nope, nope. Gonna have to disagree with you there. Bit of backlash from Carl. Things are heating up here on Xavier's Corner. Ah, this is Billy Dee Williams, and you're listening to Xavier's Corner.

Nope, Tommy, you're completely wrong. The best one is the one on the corner of, near the corner of Bourke and Elizabeth. Best McDonald's, cleanest one, best fries, hands down, it's the best. Ooh, Xavier's Corner. Well, that brings us to the end of this week's episode of Xavier's Corner. I'd like to thank my guests. Thank you, Tommy Dasolo.

It's my pleasure. And also Carl Chandler. Bums. See you next week on Xavier's Corner. Xavier's Corner is produced and spoken by Xavier Michaelides. Music by Kevin MacLeod. Recorded on location at Youth Hit Studio. Showcasing music, dance,, poetry and yo-yo stunts

since 1992. Supported in part by the Men's Rights Association. Additional funding from Chewett Hill Pizza, Pasta and Chinese. When you think of pizza, pasta and Chinese, think of Chewett Hill. Xavier's Corner. Xavier's Corner. I'm sorry, I just switched off for a second. I missed Xavier's Corner. It felt like one of those

Channel 7 news reports where, you know, they've got the watermark over it the whole time in case another podcast uses Xavier's Corner. Just in case people forget what they're listening to,

it'll just keep letting you know. I think you guys should do this in this show. On the Little Dum Dum Club, we should do that. Yeah, just have Little Dum Dum Club every five seconds. We'll start doing that on the Little Dum Dum Club we should do that. Yeah, just have Little Dum Dum Club every five seconds.

I think maybe we will start doing that on the Little Dum Dum Club. We do it on Rusty Fragment. Every now and then randomly this voice will come out. I don't even know where it comes from. I'm just going, Rusty Fragment. You know what you should start saying? Xavier's Corner. Yeah, Xavier's Corner.

I also like how much sponsorship Xavier's Corner gets. I like that our podcast doesn't have sponsorship, but the podcast within our podcast has sponsorship. And the sponsorship is longer than the actual segment. I reckon it could have done with a Xavier's Corner in the middle. I think during the credits for it, you forget what the show was. So we're going to put it right back there. Another little sting of Xavier's Corner.

Chew it, Hill Pizza Pasta and Chinese. Is that a real thing or not? Well, yeah, Chewett Hill's a place. Where is it? Is it? Yeah, in Perth. Is it really? Chewett Hill?

Chewett Hill. And I got sponsorship from Chewett Hill's Pizza Pasta and Chinese. We should go there. We should visit Chewett Hill when we're in Perth next week. I think you guys should. I've got a friend there who will take you out. She actually took out McGregor when he went there. Last time he was in Perth, he rang her and just said,

you know, I don't want to do it. And she said, I'll show you around. She took him to a taxidermy museum and some other place. She'd take you there for sure. It's my ex, you know, Tegan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She took McGregor out. She took him out.

Yeah, she's really awesome. She'll take you out and show you weird stuff. How does an OCD guy go in a taxidermy museum? I know. I know. That's what I was like. But apparently he dug it. Cool.

But why is that the place in Melbourne? I mean, in Perth. Oh, she just went, I'll take you to the weirdest, you know, just weird. What's that? There's some bell, the bell tower? Yeah, the bell tower. She took him there as well. Yeah.

Oh, cool. If our gigs go badly, we can climb that and just start fucking picking people off. Yeah, and then when we get picked off, they can stuff us and bring us to the other place. Oh, beautiful. There we go. Well, guys, I think that is just about all the time we have

for the Little Dum Dum Club this week. It went really fast. And, you know, that to me is a sign of a good podcast. A fast podcast is a good podcast. Yeah. Zave, Fleety, thanks very much for joining us. This took fucking forever.

If it wasn't for that fucking corner segment that we were like... Have you guys got things coming up that you'd like to plug, either of you? Not as such, no. I think we should

have this as our own segment called We've All Got Stuff Going On. Yeah, okay, that's cool. Do some theme music up. That'd be good. I would like to promote David Praise. Go on the Stupid Old Channel. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, online YouTube thing. There's a David Praise. Yeah, so there's six episodes up. So go look up David Praise at Stupid Old Channel. It is very funny. And, Fleety, you've got your own podcast. Yeah, with Sammy Peterson. We should actually one day day I vaguely mentioned

this to Carl we should have you two on our one or we'll come on yours and have a podcast we'll go on your one Rusty yeah yeah

so Rusty Fragment is the name of the podcast and the sketches on YouTube yeah yeah lots of friends of the show and stuff have been on those sketches

it'll be like the Jetsons on the Flintstones yeah oh yeah or like Lurch appearing out of the window in

Batman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the Harlem Globetrotters landing on

Gilligan's Island. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly, that's actually more like it. That's basically

what's going on. What is the name of your festival shows? I know we're a little way off that, but this is what

I'm intrigued by at this time of year. What's the name of your new shows that are going to be for the next

comedy festival I think mine is called something like I think it's called Ad Liberation Ad Liberation the greatest stories never told

right and Xavier mine's called Shewhit Hill Pizza Pasta no mine's called I think it should be called Shewhit Hill

Xavier's Corner Pizza Pasta Xavier's Corner no it's actually called Bad Accents and Inconsistent Mimes. Great. Nice. It's like a best of, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Best of stuff. We haven't said our ones, have we? We haven't. Say yours, Carl. What's yours, Carl? Mine may still change, but at the moment,

my show is called Carl Chandler, World's Greatest and Best Comedian. Nice. And what about yours TD Cutie Pie oh

sweet and I just short car my photos that I got done on the weekend for the poster is it like you like Shirley Temple

kind of photos it's me naked in an inflatable pool oh you've got this done yeah oh great can't wait to

see them yeah can you guys smell that cum and shit oh cut that out I just thought oh inflatable pool oh crazy I see them. Yeah. Can you guys smell that cum and shit? What? Cut that out.

I just thought, oh, inflatable pool. Oh, racing. But it was like, as I said just before, when we were having lunch with friend of Joe, Demi Lama, he started showing his publicity shots to Demi, who looks very, very young. Yeah. It's just a picture of, you know, just a scene of this guy going, look at me in my pool.

With no clothes on. You want to see this again? Well, I don't know if I told you this. Okay, look at me in my pool. With no clothes on. Do you want to see this again? Well, I don't know if I told you this. Okay, maybe this won't be in, but I was looking on the train at a pornographic image that you had photoshopped some friends of ours' heads onto that we sent them as a prank. It doesn't sound like me.

I think it was someone else that did this. A bunch of school kids were next to me and saw the phone and went, oh, is that the iPhone 6? And they're all gathered around me. They're crowding around me going, oh, I'm wanting to look at the screen. And I'm going, fuck! Guys, I've got a lot more interesting things to show you than the iPhone 6. My brain is just, when you need that information, it's's like how do you get out of photos on the phone?

I can't remember. I can't do it quick enough. Well, so this is what you told me off air, you getting the new iPhone and then being in a servo with it. Oh, yeah. So not long after I got it, I was paying for petrol and I got a text while I was paying and I checked it and this is like a week after it had come out

and like the day that all those stories had been on the net about people's iPhones bending and breaking. And so the guy behind the counter goes, oh, is that the 6? And I go, yeah, yeah. And he goes, oh, have you had problems with it bending? And I go, no, not at all. And he goes, can I have a look?

And I go, okay. And he just bent it. I hand it over and he starts doing his own thing. Just like trying to go. I'm like, whoa, get ready to fork over a grand, buddy. Give me that free fucking petrol while you've got my car. Let me have that tanker out there. Look with your eyes next time.

Now, did you have a 5? Because I've got a 5S. I had a 4 and I jumped up from the 4 to the 6. I'm just wondering how different the 5S to the 6 is. I'm tipping all models bend if you put enough force on it. Of course. Anyway guys, live episode in Sydney

on November 30th. I was asking you that for real on the podcast. Let's talk phones. I don't know if this needs to happen now. This is more Xavier's Corner than a little dug up club. Chew it Hill. Come on. I've got a pretty high standard. Xavier's Corner than Little Dum Dum Club. Hey, hey, hey. Chew it, Hill. Come on. Chew it, Hill. I've got a pretty high standard.

Xavier's Corner. Chew it, Hill. November 30th in Sydney. Tickets on sale now. LittleDumDumClub.com for our Sydney live episode spectacular that's going to be heaps of fun. Yep. And also very close to locking in a Melbourne one,

which we might have done by the time this goes up. Keep checking LittleDumDumclub.com, live events, and check our Facebook and Twitter to find out all the... Fleet has a phone question. I want to plug one more thing about the phone. One thing I am going to mention is that Sammy Peters and I are starting a room in the city on Sunday, late Sunday afternoons. I can't remember the name of the place.

And that's in all cities around the world simultaneously? Something £1,000 something. Oh, yeah, £1 around the world simultaneously? Something, Thousand Pound something. What's it called? Oh yeah, Thousand Pound Bend. Yeah, we're going to do it there. Cool.

Starting in early December, late November. So there's something for people to look out for. So follow The Greg Fleet on Twitter. Follow me around. You'll find it. Follow me around on Sunday afternoons in late November. Yes.

I'll take you there. Go look through the bins out the front of Thousand Pound Bend and you'll be able to work out when the gig is. Yeah. I'll let everyone know where the address is bins out the front of Thousand Pound Band and you'll be able to work out when the gig is I'll let everyone know where the address is and then just go next door guys thanks very much

for listening and we'll see you next time see ya mates see ya mates