The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 455 - Live! Nick Cody, Stephen K Amos, Oliver Clark & Nick Capper

Episode Date: June 26, 2019

This is it: the last ever episode live from the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival! We wrap up the previous days fun run and partake in some bible study in Serbia, before welcoming NICK CAPPER, who's just celebrated his one year anniversary with his girlfriend. NICK CODY tells us the other side of Brett Blake's recent drunken plane flight, STEPHEN K AMOS has some beef to settle with Karl, and OLIVER CLARK accepts his medal from the fun run in very gracious and humble style. PLUS a bumper Talking Dum Dum with some plans for future hijinx and a new online feud! SYDNEY! Big live podcast and stand-up show. July 27, 7:30pm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dum Dum Club, a brand new episode recorded live in Koh Samui with special guests Stephen K. Amos, Nick Cody, Nick Capper and Oliver Clark. But before we get into the episode, we need to let you know about a sponsor that we have this week on The Little Dum Dum Club. This episode is brought to you by The Little Dum Dum Club. A great podcast that have hit us up. They want a bit of a signal boost. LittleDumbDumbClub. A great podcast that have hit us up. They want a bit of a signal boost. If you're a long-time listener to this show, maybe check this one out.

You'll find there's a lot of similarities. Yeah, so you can find their show at LittleDumbDumbClub.com. If you don't remember that, then you can just go to our website, LittleDumbDumbClub.com. There'll be a link. And we'll be putting a link there. There'll be a link in the URL. So check it out. We haven't listened to any of them, but we're happy to,

as long as the checks are cleared, we're happy to. I'm checking the stats now. A lot of people are listening off the back of it. How many people? 69 million. There's a lot of people. Maybe we should be advertising on them. What an amazing hit rate that everyone listening to this ad has immediately started listening to the show.

They're now listening to both at the same time. They've got one of each in both ears. Do we get double the ratings for each earbud? Is that what's happening? Anyway. Let's try not to be funnier than the actual episode. Anyway, we're doing a co-headline tour with that show that's sponsoring us. We have got a couple of gigs coming up July the 27th.

We are in Sydney at the Giant Dwarf. Huge live podcast with special guests and our solo shows. Then the very next day, we head up to Newcastle. That's July the 28th. We were sold out, and then we found out there's more seats than we thought in the venue. So there's a few tickets left. And is this for our show or for the Little Dumb Dumb Club show? I said it's co-headline tour.

Co-headline, right, right. So we swap. We support them on the 27th, and then they're supporting us on the 28th. Oh, nice. Lovely. Great. Finally. Oh, nice. Lovely. Great. Finally. Together at last.

Yep. So littledumbdumbclub.com for all those links. Enjoy this episode, the final ever episode recorded at the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. Great guests on this one. A lot of fun. We'll see you at the end of this for another edition of Talking Dumb Dumb. Enjoy. of Talking Dum Dum. Enjoy! Hey mates!

Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us. My name is Tommy Dasolo. With me, as always, is the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, you kids. The final live podcast of the final ever Koh Samui International Podcast Festival.

I am officially putting my co-host on suicide watch, everyone, if you could... What am I going to do with myself in the next two weeks before I'm back? Well, it's just good. You know what? They say in showbiz you play the Ozo Chueng

Samui hotel breakfast buffet once on the way up and once on the way down. And it's good to be back. So context for the people at home. Two nights ago, we did the stand-up gala. We started it on the beach at the Ozo Chouang Resort.

It was rained out halfway through. We ended up moving it into the canteen of the Ozo Chuang Resort. Canteen. Canteen's a strong word. Is canteen a strong word? What's below canteen? No, this is good. Yeah, this is good.

This is where you get your eggs. That's good, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Hey, look, it's been my dream to warm up for the omelette station for as long as I can remember in comedy. So he's coming out in about eight hours, guys. So stick around. People have got to just be careful, everyone. People have got to eat in here in about 12 hours.

Technically our backstage area right now, everyone. So it is weird to be in here where you look outside and go, it'd be nice to do a gig on the beach right about now. But it is actually very nice out there now, but we're in here, so let's make do. Yeah, it took us about an hour and a half to set everything up and move it in here, and then immediately it was like, we should have just toughed it out.

But then we probably would have ended up getting electrocuted in setting it up, which probably some people in here are thinking, good. So... Nice. What a way, what an end, what a great end that would be to the last ever Koh Samui Podcast Festival. Well, we did

say it was the final one, so as we're getting zapped, we told you. Some people sitting there as we're starting up, they're not serious. Yeah. Dead. Oh, okay, I guess they're serious. So everyone, for people at home,

we're here on the final night. We did do a fun run. We did advertise it on the socials. We talked about it on the podcast. He's the people who here competed or came along to cheer everyone on. Good on you. Give yourself a round of applause for doing that. Very. Some listeners

off their own kind of bat started up a sort of de facto kind of water station halfway down the pitch. That was pretty amazing. Yeah, I made one... I made one listener's dream come true. As I came past, he just got a water bottle and I didn't want to drink,

so he just deliberately smashed the water into my face on the water bottle, so... And it was, like, full pelt. It was, like, a face on the water. And it was like full pelt. It was like a big glob of water. Yeah. Some other listeners started up a baseball bat station halfway down the beach as well. That's not a traditional thing in a marathon, but anyway. I guess the swing cooled me down, but very good.

Also, we did, you know, it was all fun, but it was a slight little bit of competition in there. We had medals. Congratulations to all the winners and everyone that got that sort of stuff. But it was very nice of the guy who organised the medals. He hit me up a couple of weeks ago after we talked about how we were going to do the whole fun run, and he said, oh, it would be cool if there was medals involved if you want me to organise I Know Someone Who Knows Someone.

I was like, yeah, cool, nice one. I'll get on to that. He was like, I, cool, nice one, I'll get onto that. He's like, I can give you a couple of medals for free, make that happen. I was like, cool, maybe we get a few more medals. He's like, okay, cool. That'll be 90 bucks. I think I just got catfished. Very nice of him, but anyway, I got them,

and they were great for everyone that got them here. They looked excellent. And we did the run, and the guy who organised the medals came first. And he's obviously an absolute fucking gun athlete. I think he beat second place by two kilometres in a five kilometre race. So all he's really done is gotten me to pay for his fucking medal. Yeah. Yeah. Respect.

He's not only a gun athlete, he's a gun businessman. So you're welcome. I don't know. Now looking back on it, I'm glad I did the run and it was an enjoyable time. But as I was doing it I was like this is the worst half hour of my entire life

and this is a man who's had cancer so I went down there and I thought as a bit I'll go lit off I'll get the rig out and also part of the thinking was it was like this will be funny, me running shirtless

but then also I was like well this will be funny, me running shirtless. But then also I was like, well, one less layer on, that's cooler. I don't have a thing on my skin. Right. That's going to make running easier. And then five minutes into the run, I'm going, oh, actually what a shirt does is it keeps the direct sunlight off your body. Starting to come around to the inventor of clothes and what they were getting at all those years ago or whenever the fuck that happened. 97, was it? I don't know.

So I, halfway through, I'm like, honestly, this is how I die. I felt sick. I felt honestly so sick. And I had a little playlist queued up to kind of keep me going as I was running, and halfway through a song by Hot Chip came up and I was remembering two weeks going as I was running and halfway through a song by Hot Chip came up and I was remembering to two weeks ago when I was watching Hot Chip in London in the rain high off my head and thinking, God, how far

I've come. And... That's... I think you meant hospitality for the police. Sorry, hospitality. I just remembered my parents are here. This is a character that I'm doing right now. This is... You've been... Are you rebranding yourself as some sort of fucking nerd Scarface?

The Wolf of Collins Street, yeah. Is that Okay alright I guess you're the editor of this show But your parents are here You can't really edit it from their ears Yeah I've dug myself into a hole haven't I Tommy's mum was wondering Where all that money was going over the years

Yeah mum rents $4,000 this week. What can I tell you? Tommy, why do you keep wiping your nose? It's cold season. No, my parents have been here in Samoan. It's been great. Very briefly, I was going to say about the race, I've been being taunted by a friend of the show, Brett Blake,

about the race for a fair while. He'd been doing a bit of training and whatever, and he was like, I'm going to fucking thrash you, and when I thrash you in the race, you have to go to Bali with me. That's the prize. I'll beat you, and you have to go to Bali with me. And then the morning of, didn't make it to the race, did he, Brett Blake? Which means he doesn't know how to pull a suitcase,

but he can pull out of a race. Yeah. To be fair to Brett, I think he'd had a big night watching Hot Chip in London the night before. So... I would translate what Brett Blake said for the people at home, but I actually can't. It's fine, though.

He screamed it directly into the audience mic, so I think the people at home... So, Carl, what time did you get in the race in the end? Do you know, roughly? It was hard to tell because it took two minutes for me to regain the capabilities of how to work my phone. So it did fuck me. I reckon it was mentally one of the hardest things I've ever done. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was brutal. I think it was a bit under 27 minutes. A bit under 27 minutes. It was all right. I mean, I was personally really happy. Yeah, yeah. You should be. Yeah.

So 27 minutes. These podcasts, traditionally, you know, we do about an hour. We're at the start. Brett, you could take off now. You could run down the beach and be back here in time for the end of the podcast. And if you beat 27 minutes, we're going to Bali. Go, go, do it.

Go for a run along the beach at night, do it. Oh yeah, sure, there's lightning, but who cares? Oh, he's done it again. He's put his shirt on back to front. Awesome. He dresses like he spells. Amazing. Fashion illiterate.

All right. Alright Well speaking of Speaking of Hospitality and stuff like that We We've We've had We've had big nights here But I don't think we've had big nights

As big as Serbia When we were in Serbia a couple of weeks ago No Yeah Yeah I I Look I go away here

I'm here in Thailand for the week And I still have to do work For home Because I run a bunch of like comedy Nights Like regular comedy nights at home I go away here, I'm here in Thailand for the week, and I still have to do work from home, because I run a bunch of comedy nights, like regular comedy nights at home. So I had to do that in Serbia as well. We had a massive night out with Milan, didn't we? In Serbia.

I've already perjured myself enough on this podcast, so no, I actually wasn't drinking that night. I went to Bible study in Belgrade, and I came and met you guys at about 4am and you were getting up to some absolutely deplorable things, let me say. But you were at least high on life, I think. Yes. So we were...

Life is Serbian for cocaine. Hey, I don't know about you guys but I hold my Bible study classes in a fucking toilet cubicle at two in the morning, okay? You do it how you want, I'll do it how I want. We get it, you were snorting off a cross.

All right. That way you got two lines. Yeah. So we did have a... I hope you're having a good holiday, Mr and Mrs A. Mum's not, because we were at the Elephant Sanctuary the other day and I was walking along next to her and I stepped on a big bit of branch by accident

that then flung up, sideshow Bob on the rake style and bashed my mum in the leg and then she had to get our tour guide to get her an ice pack and some tiger balm. So that was good. Permanently injured my mum on the holiday. So because of the time difference, like often I will get back from a show like this and do a bit of work and do the socials

and whatever for all the comedy shows and all that sort of stuff. So in Serbia, we really had a big one. And then I woke up in the morning and there's all these people messaging me going, what happened last night? What's going on with you? And I'm like, what do you mean? And they go, you put up a post for your show at Spleen, comedy at Spleen. What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm like, all right, I better check this. And I'd gotten home at like 6 a.m. or something, Tommy style, and my parents don't listen to this, I'm fine with it. You've clearly gotten home very early in the morning Serbia time and in your head gone, oh it's like midday in Melbourne so I'd better put up the poster for Comedy It's Blank. What better time to do this than after a bit of Bible study? Yeah. Where a bouncer at the club we were at caught him doing some Bible study.

And rather than kick him out of the club we were in, did a bit of Bible study with him. Belgrade. Hey, hey, praise the Lord. You know? with him. Belgrade. Hey, hey. Praise the Lord. You know? Just a... Just a 12-hour prayer session.

It was really... It was really... It just renewed my faith. So I have no memory of getting home and doing this work, but anyway, apparently I must have got home and got out the laptop and gone, time to do some business. I then checked the Facebook page of Comedy at Spleen

and I'd whacked up a new poster, put someone on there three times, and then captioned it and just wrote a caption for the poster saying, V is not a currently topic ad. V is not a currently topic ad. We spent the entire next day in Belgrade trying to decode what he was attempting to write.

V is not a currently topic ad. Hey, it was a full house, so it worked. That's the next t-shirt, honest to God. You know what? Because there's a reputation for advertising people to be doing a lot of hospitality. Right.

They've done it again. It worked. So you're like fucking Don Draper himself. Yeah. On tour in Belgrade. Very madman. V is not... What?

V is not a currently topic ad. Yeah. What don't you get? This isn't... The fact current in there, I think that you're trying to send a message to the outside, to your awake self going, the current time isn't the time to be doing this ad.

Right. I think you were trying to talk to yourself from in the future, you know, like early edition style. Oh, I'm starring Kyle Chandler. Yeah. Go to bed, Kyle. Don't do business. So we're back in Samui.

Now, I have relationships with... No, I shouldn't say that. Whoa. Hang on. Is this the most incriminating podcast we've ever done? I do get recognised in the street here because I'm here a lot and people... And you know what? There's certain businesses that people are, like, getting very excited

because they know that all of you guys are coming along. So I know that they're not in love with me personally. They're in love with the fact that there's going to be 200 people drinking shots in their establishments. But... So one of my favorite restaurants if not my favorite is kangaroo samui which a lot of people have come to over the years uh they've dragged people along this year we got here uh it was gone they've changed hands

they sold up and i was like fuck that is genuinely distressing i love that place and i love the people there really cool uh and then we were walking along to the gig the other night, and we walked past, and I clocked all the staff. We're in a different place. They just moved way up the street and called it a different thing. And we both went and looked at each other and went, oh, my God, it's them. And the guy got so excited, he literally, and you didn't see this, but he literally went, oh, and

whacked a big bunch of scales into the lobster tank. Because then we walked back up the street the other way later on with other people and they didn't know the full backstory to this. They just see you walk past this restaurant and the guy's waiting out the front and this

guy goes in for a fist bump with you as you walk past. Your best mate. Yes. Is that it? Do we get some guests out? Yeah, let's get our first guest out here. Wow, it's a smooth transition, isn't it? Folks, please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, Nick Cody!

Kappa! No, Kappa. Kappa. Nick Kappa. Nick Kappa. Fuck. Mr and Mrs Allsop, I swear he hasn't done any yet tonight. I got heat stroke from the run.

That's what I'm blaming that one on. I'm offended but not surprised. You were giving me the old switcheroo at the last minute. Welcome, Nick Capper. A three-timer guest. Welcome back. Yeah, yes, it's been great. Now, Carl, I know that your lovely wife's at home

And You would need to bring back a gift For her Of your little trip to Koh Samui And I've been looking around I've been shopping Oh hang on Is this in lieu of the wedding gift you never fucking gave us?

Yeah it's a double whammy. Sounds like a single whammy. It's a whammy. Okay, just be happy. We haven't even proved a whammy yet. Let's see if there is a whammy. Okay, well, what better way to

not only give your wife a great memento off-coaster movie but also get her aroused with a Nick Capa stubby cooler. Made in Koh Samui. And also available at nickcapa.com. How dare you? My wife is an alcoholic. She's not.

She should be. I would understand if she was. If she went to an AA meeting and said, I am married to Carl Chan, they'd be like, oh, we've lost this one. Also, for the listener at home, as Carl is currently finding out, the Nick Capa stubby holder doesn't properly fit a drink in it. It's for the new age type of slim can.

And it's for bottles. For bottles. So something to do with Nick Capper doesn't work properly. Whoa. Actually, you put me onto this place. Yeah, I was like the guinea pig that spent $400. Anyway, no, it's been good. I've been loving Koh Samui.

Well, you know, you've been here three times, and basically you're here on your anniversary with your girlfriend because you met your girlfriend one year ago this week. Congratulations to you and commiserations to her. Yeah. year ago this week. Congratulations to you and commiserations to her. One year ago today when you cracked onto one of our fans. Well, it's the other

way around. We decided to celebrate today. We decided to celebrate our anniversary by going on a beautiful motorbike ride together. And she got her own motorbike and she... Oh, whoa. Did you pay for it? Yes.

Did you actually? Yes, thanks to the stubby holders. Everyone bought at nickcapper.com. I've also bought a property here as well. The guy said he'd get back to me later, but I just gave him a thousand baht. He said, it's yours. It's the best palm tree I've ever seen.

Yeah, but we went for a motorbike ride, and I thought, I taught her how to ride on a farm, and I thought, oh, great. She's going to be prepped for this, right? Turns out, tyre traffic is, yeah, it's very scary. And we went to the first T-junction, I look in the rear vision mirror and she's going the wrong way. You know when someone goes into a T-junction

and they keep going into the curb? And that's the only person that's ever cared about... That was scary, seeing that in a rear-vision mirror. So she made a big mistake this time this year and last year. Yeah. This one hasn't been so fruitful. It's basically a metaphor. It's the same thing. Driving headfirst into oncoming

traffic. You look in the rear view and see that. That's how we all feel about that relationship. One of those cars could be a Porsche. When you get hit by a Porsche... Anyway... Who's got all these shit metaphors?

Yeah, but she hurt her foot real bad, and then she got sunburned. So I bring her back, and she's like, her foot's fucked, and it's got blood all over it and then she's sunburned and then I said do you want some aloe vera I'll rub it on your legs and then I bumped a can and then this full can of like insect repellent landed on her other foot um so on the plus side it did take her off her mind off the other pain. She really should have chosen Nick Carr. Yeah.

I say there would have been a lot more pain involved. So it's been a great anniversary, sunburnt with an injured foot. Yeah, but I wouldn't have it any other way, to be honest. It's very big of you. What third world country are you going to injure her in next year for the two-year anniversary? Well, we're going to Vietnam after this, so, yeah, I might make it a double whammy.

All right, let's get our next guest out here. Folks, please welcome back into the little dum-dum club for reals this time, Nick Cody. All right, let's get our next guest out here. Folks, please welcome back into the little dum-dum club, for reals this time, Nick Cody. Yeah. G'day. How good is this? So much fun.

I was here for the first one. I brought my dad the first time. He won the award, best person at the festival with the surname Cody. He won an actual award. Then since then, I've had a baby, I've been married, and I thought, I should bring dad back. So dad's back. Good dad. And he is acting, no offence, dad,

all of his 64 years. Fuck me. What a good boy to travel with. What do you mean? Well, remember the first time, very first day on trip number one, we got drunk, right? We're in Costa Mui. What else are you going to do?

I wake up in the morning. We had everything in the safe and Dad said, I locked the safe last night. And I said, cool, what's the code? And he said, I don't know. I was drunk. Wow.

What is that like? Because I have never done that. Yeah. Why would you close an empty safe? Yeah. Why would you close a safe that has a knit cap of stubby cooler in it? Yeah. I'll remember.

I'll put my bank account number. Zero, zero, zero, zero. Lock. Dad, though, he was so pumped, we left Wednesday morning. I finished on radio, met me at Triple M in Melbourne. We went straight to the airport. We've just got carry-on. And he said, mate, I know how you are at airports.

I fucking nailed this. By the way, don't worry. I've got all the sunscreen and aloe vera we need. Which turns out is more than 100 mil which means dad's brand new purchases got thrown into a bin and we've both been sunburnt the entire trip but you know so it's good to have you back you did the first you did the third yeah and you made such a commitment to this one because you've made it this year.

You got, in comedy terms, when you get a radio job, and especially a breakfast radio job, that is like the biggest paying thing you can get in comedy. So you are working for breakfast radio in Brisbane. Yeah. But you included coming here

as part of your negotiations with them. I got an actual phone call from a lawyer saying, just checking, what is the Koh Samui International Podcast as well? And why are you insisting on this having to happen? I love that we're mentioning a clause in a contract that's locked away somewhere. Like, that's so good.

But also, man... If you look down to the title, Dumb Cuntory, you'll see that... Article 1.69. But then again, you work for Triple M in Brisbane. Yep.

The moment you say, a married man going to Thailand, they're like, oh, yeah. Well, that's what the rest of the staff are doing. That's what most of the listeners are doing. The secret sound on Monday will be ping-pongs. Giving away some Broncos tickets. I do want to say, though, I have to clarify a story that one Brett Blake did tell on this podcast

about him being very drunk at an airport, and I got him through. I got him onto the plane. Hang on, so what was the story? So, August last year, my wife is heavily pregnant. She's eight months pregnant, and I think, perfect. What a time to go to Edinburgh and surprise Daniel Sloss. And...

I know Chandler would appreciate that. Hang on, man. You've had a kid. Yep, I've had a kid. Well, this is news to me. I know. How dare you abandon your kid? Your kid's at home.

I know. Well, that's mum. Doing better without me, let's be honest. But I was at the airport with a mate. We were flying to Edinburgh to go and surprise Daniel Sloss. And I've said to him, let's just get through the airport. We've got to get into the lounge. You know how I roll.

Now, it's only a flying economy, but Virgin Platinum, I can explain later, don't worry about it. But I'm walking through Melbourne Airport. We've checked everything in. I'm walking through. It's like, let's just get to the lounge. We'll go in because everybody's heading over to Edinburgh at that time. I didn't want to see any other comedians, just in case one of them mentions it to someone,

it gets to Sloss, fucks up the surprise, right? I'm walking through. We're about 15 metres away from the entry to the lounge and I hear Cody! Hang on, so who said that? I saw one very mulleted man by the name of Brett Blake in a bar in the airport

standing on a table. He was standing on the table at the airport. Paddy! I thought, all right, I've got to go and check out his situation. He said he'd almost missed his flight because he got too drunk that day watching the West Coast Eagles and Ben Knight, another comedian, insisted to drop him off at the airport.

Then he said, Cody, do you use sleeping tablets? And I said, no, I don't. And he said, you're a fucking loser. Look at all the drugs I've got. And then just poured a plastic bag of tablets out onto a table in an airport. He said, this tablet, what's it called, Blakey? What's the

hardest one? Yeah, diet, no. Nah, harder. Diazep Diet? No. Nah. Harder? Diazepam? No. Tramadol. Tramadol.

He goes, Cody, you have one of these Tramadol, you could take a fucking punch from Conor McGregor. Ten minutes later, he's like, Cody, I haven't told you about these drugs. This one, Tramadol, if you take it, you could take a fucking punch from Mike Tyson. It's just repeating facts to me using different fighters. I'm with my mate. You can only get one person in the lounge. I said, hey, I'm going to go up there. I'm going to try and get you up as well. He said,

no, I tried. They didn't let me in. I didn't know why that would have occurred, of course. It's just Blakey being Blakey. But I said, let me go up and check. I go up and check. I said, hey, I've got one guest, but is there any chance I've got a friend downstairs? And before I could finish the sentence, she said, the bloke with the

mullet? I said, yep. She goes, alright, try and bring him up. He came up. He didn't have the right card to get in. And he said, well, fuck you. I'll drink downstairs then. I bring him back up. They said, it's $70 to get him in. Now, I know Blakey, in a two-hour window,

is going to drink far more than $70 value. It's a bargain to get this man into the lounge at $70. She said, you know what, though, sir? I'll let you in for free. Just don't drink too much. And Blakey said to the lady working at the lounge desk, how about I pay and don't fucking tell me

what to do? Fuck. Honestly, let's all go to rehab tomorrow. Honestly. She laughed and let him in. That's how charming Blakey is. We get in. Blakey has four beers in about 15 minutes,

and then I said, why are you sticking to beers? And he said, what do you mean? And I said, there's a whole bar of cocktails and everything. And he said, oh, well, I'm not paying for cocktails. And I said, man, we're in a lounge. You don't have to pay for them. You just pick whatever you want. And fucking hell, it was like a child's Christmas he went and grabbed about three drinks he slammed them all down now there's 15 minutes to go it's the only flight leaving that

night from Melbourne so everyone in that lounge is on the very same flight they announce boarding they announce please hurry up there's some passengers waiting. Ten minutes after that, there's me and a mate and Blakey in the lounge. We're the only three left. They go, guys, you've got to go right now to get on your flight. And Blakey said, no worries, I'll just get one more drink. He got an espresso martini in the largest glass I've ever seen. It was three espresso martinis. He sculled the whole thing. I've got video of it. His belt is undone. He flies down. See, he's just remembering. He's wearing thongs and at the end on the video, my favourite part

of the video, he goes fucking lucky it didn't have shoes drinking from a shoe. Hang on, hang on. Say that again. Fucking lucky I didn't have shoes to drink from the shoe. I think he wanted to do a shoeie with the cocktail. Right.

But he was in thongs, thank God. Otherwise, he would have been looking ridiculous. He said, thee is not a current ad topic. Where the last three getting on the page. No, but Blakey writes that sort of stuff when he's sober. Yeah, I think he wrote the caption for your spleen post. That's what I said. Oh, fuck, sorry.

I've been Blakey'd. I apologise. Now, we're the last three getting on. There's a man in a suit behind us with a lanyard. I'm like, well, that's security and I understand why they're here. I wasn't drinking at the time, so I'm sober. Blakey's quite the opposite. I know they're going to talk to him. They tap him on the shoulder

and said, how you feeling, mate? He goes, pretty fucking good. Just got drunk in the lounge. How are you going? And they said, yeah, good. We're going to need to see your boarding pass. And he said, no worries good. We're going to need to see your boarding pass. And he said, no worries. He took it out of his pocket,

held it towards the man, the man reached out and then he went, ah, suck the invulnerable. Airports love that. They love it. They love pranks.

Security love pranks. You always have those signs. Make as many jokes as you can. Yeah. We find bombs hilarious. Oh, they must love Nick Capper. Hang on. Hang on. What's... What is this bombing thing?

What do you speak of? That. Now... Hang on, I'm still unclear. Because I just got a laugh. I said, sir, don't worry, I'm going to look after my mate. Don't worry, he's going to be fine. He said, sir, we've cut you off already. We've cut you off.

You're not going to be served any drinks on the plane. Blakey, with a neck pillow on, goes, mate, you don't have to worry. I've already had a tramadol. One of these is you can fucking take a punch from Conor McGregor. He's gone back to Conor McGregor. We get on the plane. He's still an old rope.

He's still an old rope. Boring, heard it. We're walking through business class. There are people sitting there having cocktails, drinking champagne, things I was wishing I was doing, but I wasn't. Blakey looks at him and goes, you think you're having fun? I'm the fucking king.

I'm the fucking plane king. My mate and I are sitting in the exit row in economy so we're like row 30 odd Blakey's 50 odd about six hours into the flight a flight attendant comes past I said excuse me ma'am I just want to check I've got a friend back there and before I could finish she said the one with the mullet there's 400 people on a plane they knew who I was checking on and why you could be in trouble. I said, yes, it is him. How's he going? She said, well, he's passed out.

His foot's in the aisle. You may have heard this part. The people with the drinks cart couldn't move his foot, so they've just been running it over continuously throughout the flight. She said, go check on him in a few hours when he wakes up. About 10 hours into the flight, I go over to check in on Blakey, the man I've shared so many experiences with, not only in life, but that night.

It's been a fucking hectic night. I walk over to Blakey, I would go, Blakey, what's going on? He goes, fuck, Cody, what are you doing here, bro? Didn't Didn't our This is the bit I love the most Didn't he say Cody where are you going? Where are you going? There's only one option

Fucking hell Well fucking Blakey killed Without saying a word That's That's a good It was three trackadol, you fucking... Three tramadol. Are you talking about what you had tonight or back then?

All right, let's get our next guest out here. Now that we've got Cody's new solo show out of the way, let's get a new... Yeah. Will Anderson thought he had a good story from a plane. That's nothing. I had a duck sandwich on board. I'm going to talk about that as well nobody's ever

covered that gear that's better than that one folks please welcome back into the little Dunlop Club Stephen K Amos Good evening. How are you, mate? I'm very well. How are you, Codes? I'm good. It's so good to see you. I saw you at breakfast two days ago.

Yep. Yeah, and it was quite good. I saw you with an older man. I thought, what the fuck's going on here? Had no idea it was your dad. Yeah, just with an older man. I thought, what the fuck's going on here? Had no idea it was your dad. Yeah, just my daddy. Not a sugar daddy. Actual daddy. Now, thank you very much for joining us, Stephen K. Amos. Lovely of you to be here.

What the hell was that? I promised myself I wasn't going to drink too much, and then I think it's just... You see a man of a different race and you're like, I'm going to talk in a different kind of... Hello, Stephen K. Amos. I look real good right now compared to you, so... But it is my name.

Yeah. He's from the country. Hey, Maryborough, what the fuck is that? The big city. See you later, Mum and Dad. I'm going to Maryborough to What the fuck is that? The big city. See you later, Mum and Dad. I'm going to Maryborough to make it. I'm going to be a nice dealer. Oh, you've come back. Nice.

So, Stephen, thank you very much for being part of this. We were, you know, very grateful that you came over. You're having a bit of a holiday and doing all of this we were uh we were very conscious not to fill up your calendar too much we were like we're so impressed with having you we didn't want you to uh uh you know be around for the trivia night stuff like that just we're like here's the minimum of gigs we don't want you to be around getting hassled by anyone not like the rest of us working very hard. Yeah. But just do the sort of minimum, all that sort of stuff. And we thought, great, we've really just given you a bare-bones calendar.

And then last night, we were walking down the street, and we saw you getting absolutely blind with about 20 of our listeners. So... Well, you know, it's a myth, but I am a man of the people. And when I say people, I mean the missing link of people. No, I'm joking. The creatures that I was with last night were so gracious and so cunted. It was the most...

Cunted? Cunted. It's my favourite word in the world. Oh, that's amazing. Thanks for teaching me a new one. I heard one bloke woke up in an alley. What did you do to him, Stephen? No, no, no.

I had nothing to do with that. What happened was I found a little bar not far from here. Well, very far from here. And we were sitting there one night, three nights ago, and then we saw a couple of the other dum-dum fuckers, and they went, ah! And then the last night we were there, and the same said dum-dum fuckers

also turned up with about 13,000 other dum-dum fuckers. And the drinks were flowing, the laughs were plenty, and then one of us in the party, I will mention no names, rather had too many of those bucket things. You know the bucket things they have? You know, the vats of shit. Yeah.

The unidentifiable whiskey. Yeah. The shit. And he had a few of those by himself and started... No, he did. And he had a few of those by himself. And started, no he did. And he was walking home and I said to the two that we were, I went, follow him, make sure he's safe.

And they went, no, we're going home. And so they went home and apparently by 8am this morning, said man was found in an alley and with a wallet intact in pocket, asleep in an alley. Now, I don't know if the listeners have been to Coast Me before,

but some parts of the island are very, hmm, aromous. Is that a word? They smell, hmm. Well, if Cunted's one, that can be too. Hang on, Brett Blake's a guest. He's not a listener. I have to say, it wasn't Brett. It wasn't Brett. Looked like Brett, but it wasn't

Brett. And for a second, we thought he'd shat himself, but no, it was the atmosphere. And he got some lovely local, because the locals here are amazing, saw him,

woke him up, and drove him back to the hotel. How good is that? So can I have a big up? Big up for the locals. The locals. You're welcome. You're welcome. not these fucking western Australian cunts, not you lot

the locals who stopped made sure he got back to the hotel safely with his wallet intact if it was one of you guys you'd have gone, ha ha, there's a fucking fuckhead there you knew the night was going to be bad, because I like whiskey,

and sometimes it's like, would you like a neater on the rocks? I've never said in a bucket. Yeah. With 16 fucking straws. It's like saying, I would like brain damage, please. Yeah.

Look like. If on ice is on the rocks, then in the bucket is on the rock bottom. It's bad. To fall asleep in a gutter here, the fact that a three-legged dog walked past and went, what is this cunt? And then chewed its other leg off.

All right, we've got one more guest. Let's get him out. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. What the fuck just happened? Can I just say, your first guest turned up, right? Had a good 10, 15-minute chat. Second guest, the real Nick Cody, turned up.

15-minute chat. I turned up, two minutes, get the next guest on. What the fuck is that all about? Go for it, go for it. No, I've got more conversation, dickhead. That is how conversation works, by the way. Don't sob me off like the unexpected ethnic. Don't do that.

Kappa was right. You knew I was meant to be here. Don't fucking fob me off like that. I want more chat, then bring another fucker on. Yeah, am I right, guys? Hold on. It sounds like Stephen Kaye's had some Thai hospitality.

Yeah, yeah. Please, please, Stephen, what else has been happening? So our next No, no, Stephen, what else has been happening? Sorry, our next No, no, no You have to have a conversation You're right there Now go to dance No, no

I have taken time out to try some of the local cuisine and the deep fried fresh Oh my god. A whole snapper. Fuck! Snapper. 300 fucking baht!

In Australian dollars that's about a thousand. I was like fucking King Canute. I was eating my heart's consent. And that's why I thought, you know what, if I get on this show tonight, I'm not going to slag off the venue

because the venue... The listeners have no idea where we're at. Have you explained where we're actually doing this? Yes, we have. I remember the first podcast, I went, why is it international? He went, because we're in Thailand.

But when I hear international first podcast, I went, why is it international? He went, because we're in Thailand. But when I hear international podcast festival, I assume international podcasts will descend on this island, be a massive festival. I had no idea it were you fucks in one venue. And that's what pissed me off. Because I thought, you know, I'm here, might be other 10, 20, 30 other podcasts, I could drop in on, get a bit of money. I've made fuck know, I'm here, might be able to 10, 20, 30 other podcasts, I could drop in on, get a bit of money.

I've made fuck all money by being here. Man, if only there was a thing called Google, you could have looked it up on. Sounds like you had a good Bible study. Yeah. You had a real Bible camp. Stephen K. Amos is the real underdog in this story, I believe. You're basically a priest now.

Let's not say a priest. Not in this modern age. We're wearing plastic bracelets. He's wearing a gold one, and we go, I feel sorry for this bloke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Things are not looking up for Stephen K. Amos. Talking about religious festivals and all that stuff, I don't know if anybody knows, but I recently,

and this might be quite a nice angle for you, I met the Pope. I want you to be part of this show. Oh, do you? Here's our next guest. Do you? Do you? Do you? Have you told the listeners

of the travesty of the comedy galah? Should we go there, Carl? I'm going to try What was it? What was the travesty? The travesty, well let me tell you the listeners and the viewers here Apparently the headliner brought it back.

Well, it was a comedy galah, and everybody here brought their A-game. Fighting with the elements outside, the wind, the rain, electricity, the death element. We get in this room, people still draw their A game, but one of us, one of us, decided to read jokes from a book. Did it. Okay.

Hang on, here we go. Hang on, here we go. It can't have been blanking, so let's work back from there. Justify that piece of shit. Let me ask this question before you interject,

Carl. How many people here this evening had paid money for a wristband to watch not just one podcast, not just two podcasts, but a comedy galah. How many? And within said comedy galah,

would you expect all of us to appear on this floor? There is no stage. Reading jokes. Would you? Would you expect that, guys? There's an answer to that. Hang on now. Did it?

Thanks, mate. Did it? Excuse me. Hey, hey, hey. What the fuck is going on? Thank you, darling. And for the listeners who are wondering why that applause was... That's how fancy it is.

The person that brought Stephen a beer didn't even have a mullet. So, Stephen, I'm sorry that you're so offended by that, but did it go well? What, your...? My set, did it go well? This is great. Did it go well? No.

This makes me so happy. I'm so happy right now. This is great. Did it go well? This makes me so happy. I'm so happy right now. This is the best. This is when an unstoppable force meets an autistic object. I'm not saying who's who. No, I love what he just did there, Carl. He just went, did it not go well? Begging.

Let's ask the other question. Did it not go well? Yeah, but also... Well, well, well. Carl, it's easy to ride a bike, but it's easier with training wheels. It's easy to ride a bike, but it's easier with training wheels. Any child slash disabled person can do it, okay?

Well, I apologise, Stephen K. Amos, that I wasn't up to your level doing 27-year-old jokes. Oh! Blakey, Blakey! Sorry, that's our Jerry Springer. Hey, Cody, Tommy, do you guys want to get a drink at the bar? Because this is going to be... I think we should just stay on Costa Muli until we can do a podcast without a weird tent spit near the end.

We're here for eight weeks. Can I also point out, I've been doing comedy for 22 years, so your maths are incorrect. Well, you were doing gear that someone else wrote five years before you started. Well, interesting. Oh. Oh. Let's go down deeper, shall we?

Oh, yes! Let's welcome our next guest on to the podcast. Yay! This is so good. How was your fun run, Carl? Let me ask you this. Did you win? No, no, no. I'm going to win this race.

Because I'm going to take all the praises that I paid for and return them back to the star. Fucking hell. I haven't sweat this much since I was watching Hot Chip in London. Jesus Christ. I just appreciate that's actually new gear from Stephen. So good stuff. I'm into it now.

I've come back around. I'm loving it. I just wish I was getting Blakey on a plane where things were easier. Well, thank you, Steve. Speaking of the race, speaking of the race, please, let us welcome the winner. Are we doing somebody else? Sorry? We're bringing another person on?

I haven't finished talking. Oh, shit. I haven't finished talking. Let me tell you. Look at me, Carl. Look at me. I've been on Graham Norton. I've been on Ellen. They've given me time to respect myself and do my shit.

Don't you sit there and tell me I've done... So our next guest... Anyway... Sit down! For the first time in my life, I cannot wait to get off this island. That's what the locals say. And for those playing at home, Carl does have a notepad on his leg.

He's the king with his sword, still defenceless. And I'll be honest, guys, right, before I knew much about this podcast I honestly thought we're talking about comedy, blah blah blah I had no idea it was about ribbing and digging into your fellow comedians but now I'm doing it to Carl

I fucking love it love it because I'll be honest with you guys I'll be honest, little Tommy at the end love little Tommy love little Tommy. Love little Tommy. Just the right size and height. Love that guy.

I fit right in. And honestly, and the two Nicks, fucking hell, flying up. And also, I should say, on a serious note, your man Nick Cody is flying the flag for Aussie comedy around the fucking world. And that is fucking... I'd love to listen to the applause,

but I'm just waiting for the Carl comment. This can only go up from you, I think. He's flying the flag... And Carl's just had a baby. We've all done that, dickhead. Have you? Not yet. Alright, please.

Permission, please, sir. You may proceed. Thank you. Our final guest for this show. Oprah Winfrey. You may know him from Thank you. Thank you. Our final guest for this show, the... Oprah Winfrey. Fuck off.

You may know him from... Jay Leno. Fuck off. Even better. Will Anderson. Even better. No, he's got a triple M breakfast show. He can't do this.

You weak bitch. Even better Yeah, but talking about breakfast shows You've got to leave here straight away And do what? Fly, land at 5.15 in the morning Melbourne And go straight to Triple M Yeah, rock and roll

I arrive back in London at 5am and I'm going to fucking wank like a bastard. Triple M. So am I. That's my new segment on Triple M, actually. Even better than all of them, how many athletic medals do those three people have? None. This next

guest is the comedian winner of the 2019 Coastal Movie International Podcast Festival Fun Run. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Oliver Clark! Thank you very much I was wondering where my seat would be but I'll just stand

Oh god we're going to have another fucking ego monster on our hands No, I'm full of humble pie Carl you know that Congratulations Oliver, thanks for coming over. Congratulations on winning the race. Whoa! The comedian part of the race.

You were first across the line. That's no big deal. First across the line. I was way behind you. I was in third in the comedian's section of the race. You were. You were first. You were a very fit man.

You're looking amazing at the moment. Stop it. Come on. And the fact that he moonwalked it, that was the most incredible. Actually, you know what? This is the thing that annoyed me. You went very well. I was like, I'm going to go okay. What annoyed me the most about the race was

I was going on the whole time. I don't know which listener it was because for people at home there was listeners and the comics were all in the same race. And I didn't overtake anyone. There was just one guy. And I don't know if he was doing it deliberately. He was ahead of me, and then he would stop and just walk. And then as soon as I'd catch him, he'd run again.

You know why. And it happened the entire time. And it was like, not only did it annoy me just for those basic principles, but it also meant that he beat me whilst walking half of the race. You know what he was doing, though? He was stopping, farting, waiting you to walk into it. That was actually your Thai son.

He was, like, trying to make it out. Anyway, Oliver, so... But also, more importantly, for the listeners, not the viewers here, you did that run in a three-piece suit. I did indeed. Yes, I did. A velvet three-piece suit.

With a bow tie. Luckily, I had my spinny bow tie on, going to be a fan. But congratulations. Great effort. You're in top ship-shape form at the moment. You're looking great. A great run. Look, you know, it was a good run.

I don't need to go on about it. I mean, I won. It's no big deal. No, you should. You should. It was a magnificent effort. As soon as we took off, you were straight out of the gates. You were right at the top of the race.

I thought, this is a guy in premium form. Well, I appreciate that. But as I said, I'm full of humble pie. I don't need to spruik my wares. You did such a great run. You did such a great run. Well, at the very least, I think give people what they want. Give a little bit of an acceptance speech, I think. Give it up, yeah? Well, look, I'll be honest. I'd like to say something if I could. Hit it! I wore my shoes stride after stride Didn't beat my PB

But I got a good time And the bad comics Oh, I beat a few Like Chandler and Tommy Dazzle but Bill didn't show I am the

champion my friend thank you and I kept on running till the end. I am the champion. I am the champion.

No time for chando. Because I am the champion of Trouane. That's all I wanted to say. I didn't really want to say too much. What a great off-the-cuff speech you just made there, Rowan. I didn't know that was pre-prepared. I thought Carl was just looking for an excuse not to talk to say too much. What a great off-the-cuff speech you just made there, Ryan. I didn't know that was pre-prepared. I thought Carl was just looking for an excuse not to talk to Stephen Kaye.

No, no. We are friends, actually. I want to ask you, though, being the champion of Xiaowen, there was a bit of a controversy the other day about the prizes that were on offer for the winner. Can we confirm

with yourself, being the champion of Xiaowen, what were the actual prizes that the dum-dum fucks gave to you? A beer can and a medal. And a wristie after the show.

That is not true. He did not get a beer can. It was a good wristie. I must say, I do respect you people a lot. Anybody who ran on that, that is fucking incredible. Because I did want to get out there, but I was so hungover, I just wanted to walk straight into the ocean and never return. And the reason why I didn't want to do the run,

because I knew at the end, Nick, there is an ocean, and I don't swim. And I know I'm a bit like Jesus, but I can't actually walk on water. No, without hospitality. Give it a go. And when I say to my Australian compadres that I can't swim, apparently this is a very freakish

thing for you guys. You go crazy. You don't swim, Steve. What the fuck's wrong with you? Well, I live in inner city South London, not Atlantis. I'll fucking get by. They say that running is better for your mental illness and stuff, or whatever. City South London, not Atlantis, I'll fucking get by. They said that running is better for your

mental illness and stuff, or whatever, mental health, whatever it's called. Who said that to you, Kappa? And why didn't you run the other day? No, I did, I ran, and I tell you what, I was a lot more depressed afterwards.

I was like, I've wasted 40 minutes of my time. You were the only one out of everyone, there was like 40, 50 people that ran. We made a massive double stripe for the finishing line so everyone could see. You were the only person who ran up, ignored the stripe and thought the finishing line was the stairs.

You ran to the stairs and you were like, I'm so fucked and then ran a flight of stairs. The only person Cap has ever seen run is Rocky, and he thinks that's where it ends. You put your hands in the air. Well, I ran, Cody. Alright? Yeah, you are

right, actually. It's all very, very telling that you have, what, 200 fans of the Dumbfuck Cunt podcast. Thank you. Pretty close. Is that right? Pretty close. Who love all the stuff you do, all the stuff you put on,

all the great beach walks and the beach bar crawls and all the fucking drinks and the fucking podcast but the run, ten people turned up. Why is that, dickhead? Well, I don't think the cliche of podcast listeners is

we love to run. So why do it? I thought it would be fun. I thought it would be like a thing that would cleanse us all from all the drinks. I thought it would be fun. No, it's the opposite. You're in the wrong spot. It's like going to Mecca You thought you were going to win. You're in the wrong spot. It's like going to Mecca and then going on a bar crawl.

You're in the wrong place for the wrong thing. All right, I'll take my fitness tips from Nick Cody. Yeah, that's fair. Next year's 2020 Deadlift Championship is fucking on. Yes. On with you, Cody. I'm going to Blakey it, though. By Blakey it, I mean crash a motorbike.

Yeah, I saw... I did have to push him out of a sand dune today. And I pushed him out, and it was fine. And then he just had to go forwards. And he stopped very quickly just going forwards. And so it was quite a, like, I don't know. You know when you get up and you're like, are you all right, mate? And then Brady goes, my ego is hurt. Because when a man with a mullet crashes a dirt bike,

that's like killing a member of your own family. with a mullet crashes a dirt bike. That's like killing a member of your own family. They met his magnum ego. He had an ice cream in his pocket. He fell on it. I've got no dessert! Alright, I think

are we out of time? No, we're not. We're not. We've got more. I would have wrapped it up ten minutes ago if I'd had a mic. All right, well, I'll wrap it up now that you don't have a mic. All right, all right. No, no, no, no, no. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. I haven't come all this way to do a half-hour fucking podcast. Yeah, we all live nearby. Now, I want to find out from you, lovely Nick, right? Caddy?

Capa. It's good being at the top. He'd take you on the bottom, I reckon. Look, man, as long as I can get on live with your polo, it doesn't matter. Now, what really has

impressed me about you is that, you know, we've all come out here, and to the listeners, it's very hot, it's very humid, blah, blah, blah. People are wearing singlets. I've never done a show where people are in the front row wearing shorts, and I can see circumcision.

I have... The fact you're wearing a linen top, you know, and not actually the linen trousers is amazing. You're Richard Branson, isn't it? It's very... Well, man of Del Monte. You look amazing. Oh, thanks, man. And I wonder why have you chosen this look?

It was for you, Stephen. That'll look good in the gutter tonight. Oh, he's back! The thing that Stephen doesn't know is this Country Boys thing has a hood on it, which, uh... Just saying, for rain cover. I don't even know this. I can see your face.

I feel like I should have a Chardonnay now, talking about yachts or some shit, you know. I love that you think this is what makes a wine drinker. Yeah, yeah. A linen see-through top. I've got on a linen poncho. Where's me fucking Sav Blanc?

I'm a man about town. I wish I could say this was a style thing, Stephen, but really, if I've got to be totally honest, there's this clothes shop, which is right next to the resort, and you don't have to haggle. It's just got the price on it that was $100. And I didn't like this shirt or anything, but I was too lazy to haggle, and I just saw something with a price, and I was like, that's my thing, right?

And plus, I want to look like I drink wine, right? I think that's over-elaborating. You're saying I didn't want to haggle. You mean that was a $4 shirt shirt so you said that's as much money as I have. Look, it was $8 but I wanted to get a beer as well. But can I ask

this though? Because having not done this podcast in international... Two days. No, in like Thailand before. Do you guys check the exchange rate before you buy shit? Or are you just like, take my money, I'm a millionaire? Guys, I'm asking you.

Yes, we do. Yeah, I think so. We subconsciously do it at the very least, yeah. It's about 21 baht for a dollar, Australian dollar, I think at the moment, yeah. So I think of it as 20, because it's got to be prudent for the expenses. I learnt that in year 10 accounting. All right, well, thank God I didn't wrap the show up.

Do you know what? Guys, guys, come on. I know, I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you. I've had a drink. I'll be honest with you. Welcome to the XE.com podcast. It's the last night, right, I believe, in Koh Samui.

Yes. For the podcast. Yes. And your last ever podcast in Thailand, is that right? Yes. Yeah. So why don't we make this a fucking big off send off, but fucking go a bit more longer

and giving these guys what they fucking want. All right, Carl, get the notepad out. All right, so I was in a cafe and... We should wrap this up because we do have a closing night party to get to and kick off. Oh, shit. Down the street. We do.

We do literally. Stephen, did you know about this? We have a closing night party where members... Oh. Yeah. Oh, now you tell me. Where members of the show are performing music. Do you have a musical bone in your body?

I do have one. Would you like a musical bone in your body? I do have one. Would you like one? I play music as well, Stephen. We do have a live band. People, some listeners and some performers up here are going to be part of events. So we have booked a venue.

We need to go to that venue. There will be... Tonight? Yeah, yeah. Straight after this. These a venue. We need to go to that venue. There will be... Oh, what, tonight? Yeah, yeah, straight after this. These cunts didn't tell me any of that shit. They said to me, the last podcast, then you can go. I was like, all right then.

And now I hear there's a fucking party. How good's that? Let's get on the bourbon buckets, eh? Let's all end up in an alley. That's fun. Before we finish, I feel like you and I, Stephen, have sort of gotten off on the wrong foot for some reason.

And look. For some reason. Yeah, for some reason. I don't remember when, because I've had a drink as well. So. Yeah. Olly Clark is probably wearing his first place medal. First, the fastest male podcaster.

Stephen, I would love to present you with the medal. And this is engraved. The Costa Mui podcast vessel, best guest on this episode medal. Yay! Yay! Oh! He got a little smooch at the end there.

You said if I sucked your dick, I'd get that medal. I got about ten of those medals. Oh, my God. Can I just say it? On behalf of all the British comedians who've ever appeared on this podcast who've never received a two dollar

medal before I'd like to say thank you very much and thank you guys for being so gracious and thanks Cody for being a good mate as usual and thank you to the lovely people here who've supported this podcast thank you

give it up for Nick Cody Nick Capper Oliver Clark that is us done for another week, that is the final podcast of the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival 2019. Thank you all of you guys for coming along, for listening at home.

And we'll see you next time. See you next time. And they've done it again. They've done it again for the final time. In that specific context. We'll keep doing it again. They've done it again for the final time. In that specific context. We'll keep doing it again. Yeah. We just won't be doing it again in a cafeteria.

Oh, yeah. Or on the beaches. Or, yeah. That's it. That's it for Costa Mui. Done and dusted. I mean, professionally. Yeah.

Personally, I'll be there tomorrow. But, yeah. What a lovely three seasons we've done over there. Yeah. What an interesting chapter of our lives. Yes. It is when you literally have to explain it to people. Like when I'm writing it down for something, I'm like, this is weird.

This is a weird thing. But I think what has been – what I found weirder in the last six months is how normalized I've become to it. I think it's now weirder to not be doing it. Right. Because I, in my head, after doing it twice, I had just started to go, I guess this is just life now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess we just go and do this every year from now on. Yeah, yeah.

After literally doing it again twice. Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. After literally doing it again twice. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

So thank you to everyone who participated, guests, punters especially for taking a chance and flying to another country with us. Bizarre stuff. Bizarre. Very, very big of you to make that plan, to use your holidays that way, spend your money that way. I'd love to think that everyone had an awesome time for all three festivals um i get that vibe generally that's the vibe i get yeah um but yeah pretty pretty amazing thing to attempt to do and have everyone follow you over there so

um literally couldn't have done it without all of you guys um so thank you very much for making a really weird idea slash dream come true. A riff that turned into a thing that took up three years of our lives. And also something that sort of ruined an island for me because now it's just work. I am really keen to go and actually hang out there. Right, yeah. Like I think this year, we were saying in the cab on the way to the pier to get the boat, that there's just all this stuff that we just didn't get around to doing this time. Yes, yeah.

So it would be good to go and see what it's actually like. Yeah, well, we've been talking about, we're just trying to convince another podcast to do a festival there so we can just go along and be punters or guests. Yeah. So we don't have to be the ones in our hotel rooms working on fucking shit. Yeah, exactly. That would be pretty cool. That would be great.

But yeah, I did a bit of holding court with a bunch of people who were there at this year's one on the final night after this last step. And yeah, a lot of great feedback from people. People very appreciative that we'd put it on. Yep. People having nothing but positive things to say

about the experience and the friends they'd made. It was a good feeling. It was nice. Speaking of good feelings, the night before that final night party, we were walking home and a ladyboy hooker grabbed me on the dick. So that was cool as well. Right. Yeah.

Is that someone in our group? No. Was that a little thank you for putting this on? We were walking home and I think she split me and Oliver Clark and we were walking down the street and we both tried to get away and she just grabbed me first. So that was good. Really?

Yeah. She grabbed you? So she grabbed you first, she then grabbed Ollie as well? No, no, no. On the dick? No. Oh, okay. No, she couldn't.

By the time... No offence, but if I had my choice, I know which one I'm going for. She had her hands full by then. Speaking of Oliver Clarke, we should quickly say a bit of a wrap-up. After this episode, we went and played in a band. Yes, as you will have heard us talk about. Yes, we set it up. As we tried to stop Stephen K and us do a four-hour podcast,

we had to insert the reason that we couldn't just go on forever. Yeah. So it was me on drums, Jason Boyd on the guitar, also Paul McWhorter on the bass. A lot of fun. So we went down there. We had a little set list of about, I think, five songs or so. We had some Oliver Clark originals.

You were on drums, obviously. Me on drums, yep. A couple of Oliver Clark originals in the mix. We did a bit of Tom Jones. We did an attempt at the theme song to this podcast. Yep. Then about three quarters of the way through our final song, all the power in the bar went out.

Oh, yeah. We blew, we short-circuited the venue we were playing in. Yep. And so we were like, I guess that's the end of the gig. And then as we've walked off stage, the lights come back on and a bunch of people are like, do one more. We're like, that was actually very fortuitous timing. Like we were at the end of our set.

Right, right, right. We had nothing left in the tank. Yeah. Oh, I did a drum solo for about a minute. Right. It was good because in classic form of us and them, the power goes out, fucks our show. Then the audience go, great, and all cheer.

Yeah. Good. Something fucked up. Good. But what a perfect end to the whole thing. Just rocking out so hard that you fucking blow a fuse. Yeah. Good stuff.

Yeah. The tech somehow goes wrong. Weird. Weird. You wouldn't read about it. Yeah. The tech somehow goes wrong. Weird. You wouldn't read about it. No. So thanks for listening to that episode. I hope you guys enjoyed it. You know, disappointed to be bullied by Stephen Kamos on it.

Very, you know, not ideal, you know. Well, that's a compliment in a lot of ways. I mean, they say you should always punch up. So he thinks you're above him. It's fine for you to step in, Tommy. I thought maybe you could help me out there. But just me, I'm lonesome, getting bullied in Costa Mili. It's no good.

Yeah. I'm sure there'll be an uproar on social media this week. About what? You getting bullied? Yeah, I'm sure there'll be people backing me in. I'm sure there will. I can't wait to read it all. Can't wait to see the feedback. Can't wait to have everyone behind Team Chandler. Iting me in. Yeah, I'm sure they will. I can't wait to read it all. Can't wait to see the feedback.

Can't wait to have everyone behind Team Chandler. It'll be good. Mm-hmm. It'll be lovely. Yep. I presume. Yep. I can't wait.

Yep. I can't wait to touch base with you in 24 hours. Great, great. Looking forward to a big show of love. Look, there's been some feedback about last week's episode. There's a few people that were a bit, oh, hey, I'm just addressing it. Not this again. Just addressing it.

Just a few people unhappy with the behavior of last week. When we did our fun run, we talked about it on this episode. We did the fun run. It was awesome. It was awesome. We talked about the results and what happened. All the funny little bits and pieces that happened. Some people online were not that happy with me trying to get Dilruk Jaisingha

to participate in the run. And, of course, his reasoning was he doesn't want to mix being competitive with his exercise. So, you know me. I'm nothing but I want to bow to the listeners and to what people say. If they say I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Admit it. Apologize to everyone for that.

What's wrong? What's the run-up? Speaking of fun runs. Just trying to do the right thing, Tommy. Yeah, yeah, okay. All right. You were having a dig at me last week, so I'm just trying to do the right thing. I wasn't having a dig.

I'm waiting with bated breath to see where this sentence ends up going. All right. Full stop. Okay, the end.. I wasn't having a dick. I'm waiting with bated breath to see where this sentence ends up going. Alright, full stop. Okay, the end. New sentence. However. Just want to apologise. I'm a big enough man to admit when I'm wrong. I was wrong to think

to ignore Dilrick's protestation that he didn't want to mix being competitive with exercise. Okay. I'm just going to hit the stop button here on the recorder because it sounds like there's nothing else to come. And I apologize so much that I would like to,

as a, what do you call it, as an olive branch. As an olive branch, I'd like to apologize to Dilruch and all the people that agree with him and give him a free plug. Guys, go listen to his own podcast, to Dilruch and all the people that agree with him and give him a free plug. Guys, go listen to his own podcast, to Dilruch's podcast, Fitbet, the podcast he does with his friend and our friend, Ben Lomas, the podcast about him competitively losing weight, running a competition to lose as much weight as they can

in a short amount of time with prize money at the end of it, with Dil doing things like starving himself and only eating broccoli and being in the sauna for like hours and hours. So I'm sorry for thinking that I could equate competitiveness with exercise. I apologize. I was in the wrong. It's been a busy week for you, hasn't it? Your apartment, just photos of Dill with strings connecting

all the different exercises that he does. I've got my hand up and Tommy I'm trying to apologise why are you interrupting me? I'm sorry I'm not interrupting

I'm being very earnest. Is this sentence three now? I'm being very earnest here I'm trying to I'm trying to get the words out I'm trying to say everyone was right. Oh you're being earnest alright

as in Ernest goes to camp. Ernest Saves Christmas? Is that one? I don't know. I don't think I've ever seen an Ernest movie. No, I haven't either. Jim Varney. What's the character meant to be?

A fucking moron, apparently. Just like a hard R. A what? A hard R. What does that mean you know that word oh right okay is that it i think so maybe i don't i don't really back back in the good old days of just being able to go yeah yeah yeah this comedy character who's a bit yeah yeah yeah yeah which is great because it's like earnest well Well, that sounds like one of them. Yeah, right. It's like, you know what?

I've always thought Carl with a K, with a hard K. I'm always like, you know what? You don't name yourself, but I like that name. Yeah. I like that name. And then whenever you see anything to do with like American comedy or anything like that, they'll have a character called Carl with a C that's just like some absolute dropkick fuckhead. A bit of a stooge, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, yeah, Carl's that guy. I'm like, fuck, no, but I'm Carl with a K. What if we reboot Ernest but we do two different reboots of it, okay? First one, Ernest goes to camp but it's spelled E-A-R-N-E-S-T. Yes. So it's just a guy walking around going, gosh, I'm loving this camp.

Beautiful skies out. The birds are chirping. Honestly, I've never felt more in touch with nature as I do right now. Right. You know, just being really earnest and honest about his feelings. And then he gets his dick caught in a bear trap. Yeah. Right.

What about this? Second one, earnest goes camp. So they're two. We put them in the cinemas at the same time and we let the audience vote. Right. We get the box office receipts. What about the importance of being Ernest Goes to Camp? Right.

Very good. Very good. Yeah. I have nothing to declare but my dick being caught in a bear trap. Very nice. Very nice. Right. So what sentence would we...

We could write a play like, you know those, what are they called? Like every Shakespeare ever? Yeah. You know those things that then just you sell it. We do that. We just write the stage production. Great. The importance of being earnest going to camp.

Fuck. I wonder if that's such a good one. Surely someone has thought that before. Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah. This is going to be one of the rare times where I don't look it up because typing that many words with one hand is going to be fucking a pain in the ass while I've got one hand

on the microphone. Yeah. So what sentence were we up to with my apology? Where were we up to? You're talking about Fitbit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So just a free ad out there. So good for them.

Go and have a listen to that. And you'll hear true non-competitiveness. But the one thing I'm genuinely not apologetic. I've been genuine now. Yeah, yeah. Super genuine. That was all genuine. Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah. This is genuine 2.0. Yes. Super genuine. That was all genuine. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. This is genuine 2.0. Yes. Right. Yes, this is uber. Uber genuineness. Genuine black.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In peak hour as well. This is peak. That reminds me of a little character that I cooked up on our trip. Jesus. Now you're going to have to start apologising. So, one thing I was uber apologetic, what's the word again, slightly sincere about, is that that point on the beach when I said, well, maybe if you run, I'll run in Run Melbourne, of which Dill is a mascot for, face of, something like that.

Mascot. I don't know. What's the word? What is it? Ambassador. Ambassador. Lovely. Right.

Mascot's better. A big old ambassador. That would be good if he was like just literally a mascot and they made a big foam figure of him that was just the scale of what he looked like three years ago. Oh, that's great. He has to wear this big foam suit and run 20 kilometers in it. Oh, man. Yeah, when you have costumes,

and you've just got to dress as you from three years ago. That's great. So anyway, he's the ambassador for that. He's running in that competitive race. He's doing that in a few weeks. Run Melbourne. Now, what you can do for that and what i did offer then was i said i would run and i would i would put in my own money i put

in uh and i would get other people to sponsor me and and you know you can get teams you get teams you get people who can run with you in a team and i said i offered that to him and said i would run for uh shake it up australia which is a parkinson's. And he said, well, I guess they're not getting that money. So I felt bad just for saying that and getting it rejected. So I have decided I'm going to do that myself. Nice. I'm going to go and run myself. I've sorted out my team already today.

I've registered. That's the charity, Shake It Up Australia. So that's who I'm going to be running for. I've chucked in 500 bucks myself. If other people want to join the team and come for a run with me on that date, that would be cool. It's on Sunday, 28th of July, 2019. So if you want to be part of the team, it'll be all over the socials.

I've got a team called I'm Aware of 10 Kilometers. Nice. So it's 10 kilometers? You can do 5, you can do 10, you can do half marathon. Right. So I've... On the 28th of July? Yes. And what's the distance from Newcastle to Melbourne? Oh, fuck.

Is that when we're doing it? Yes, idiot. Fuck. Alright. Well, you know what? I've started the team. I'll run my own distance then on that day. You'll run your own distance? No, I mean I'll run my own track. I'll run my own track.

I've registered. 200 metres, boys. I did it. I'll run. Fucking hell. I'll run 10k that day before the show. Okay. But you can be part of my team and you can do it in Melbourne.

We could set up, you could just, we're going to get the train to Newcastle. Yes. Just work out the distance and just get off a few stops early and just run to Newcastle. I'll do that.

And we'll get a, yeah, we'll get a line. I'd love to do that. All right, great. This is even better. That's a shame. I would have done it. Yeah.

Well, you can run with me. If you were here. You can run with me. If we're doing that specific idea of getting off the train, someone's going to have to take all our shit. Yeah. Yeah. We'll work it out.

We'll work it out. Yeah. But look. Why did you pick Parkinson's? Is that the specific thing that that Run Melbourne thing is? Did they back it or did you just pick it for? Do you really want to know? Sure.

I did it because Dilruch's father has it. Ah, right. I thought that might have swayed him into wanting to do it, but no. Yep. Right. So that's the charity that I'll be running 10 kilometres outside of Newcastle, to Newcastle, with my bib on, I presume. After us doing a big show

in Sydney and you no doubt getting absolutely leathered before, during and after. This will be interesting. It will be interesting. I will maybe be in need of some charity myself. There'll be a corpse on stage

at the Newey gig. That'll be good. Yeah, it's funny. I'll go on stage at the Newey gig. Well, that'll be good. Sure. Yeah, it's funny. I'll be on stage. You know what? I'll go on stage in Newcastle with my little number on. Oh, yeah, cool.

Yeah, great. That you've made yourself. No, no, no. But I'll get it. I'll get a seat for you. That is pretty funny. A guy just running alongside the train tracks in full, like if you print out the number and everything before you go.

Yep. And just anyone seeing you going, wow, this cunt is so lost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. He has really misjudged how far 10 kilometers is. Fuck, that's funny. That's very funny. For me to run – what if I do that?

What if I do that and I time it so that when I run in, that will be like 5 o'clock on the sunday so i'm running in as the as the podcast starts and it starts you're just looking you're just at the door of the pub in newcastle and you're like people like when's it start and you're like well he's about 200 meters away so i guess we're starting in about a minute i mean if we could work it so it's like I walk out to the music alone. I give the hey, mate. Right, right, right. And then as that's happening, I can just stretch that out for as long as I want.

Right, right, right. I can do a two-minute hey. Great, great. All right, all right. Let's do that. And I'll have my phone on me, so I'll be able to give you text updates and saying how far away I am. This is good.

Yeah, this is good. Yeah, yeah. Which also, looking into the future, I'm going to absolutely cop it for wearing shorts on stage during the podcast unless I run in jeans, which is a recurring nightmare of mine. You could try and, you know, people have like water stations and stuff.

Yeah. You could just have a jeans station set up outside the door of the pub. So people are kind of holding them open and you just kind of run, you know, one leg into each of them as you're on the go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, great. If you could pull that off, that'd be pretty amazing. What if someone brings me a pair of those stripper pants that you just rip off, except I'm doing the opposite? I'm just ripping them back on?

Oh, so someone's running alongside you, kind of... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be good. I said I got a massage with Dil while we were in Koh Samui, and at one point, he had four separate people working on him getting getting like pedicure pushing him back into the ocean and massage and i said to him it looks like a fucking pit crew working on a formula one car it's just like pulled in formula five maybe yeah yeah do you have to pay extra for four people yeah yeah yeah because they're just it was like one of the

ones where they've got up the back, they've got the pedicure thing. Right. And so he's, you know, he's lying there and they're looking at his feet and they're like,

what if we work on that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, okay. Yeah. And then they start trying to get me in the mix. I'm like, nah. Yeah, I hate that thing.

You know what? I think my toenails grow pretty quickly. So I'll cut them and then go over there and if I'm there for like a week, all of a sudden they're long. Yeah. And and people and you're getting the massage and they're like pedicure i'm like no no no no no we need to do a pedicure like it's no no no i don't want to

pay you to cut my nails i can do that in two seconds yeah you do feel pretty but having them on display like that yeah it is right in front of someone it's not good there's no defense for it it's like yes this is gross yes yeah totally it's a i've got my hand in the air yes i admit it it's shit yeah but please just don't look at it like you could look at someone and go you need a haircut but it's not like ew yuck yeah look at that long hair yeah yeah unless you're unless you've gone in for a professional hair wash just don't worry about it yeah really your business yeah um all right should we go quickly into into? Have we got time? Or the little incident I brought up with you on the way in? Oh, yeah. We've got really, maybe...

Well, I do want to say quickly, this has sort of taken the wind out of the sails of... I mentioned last week, I think it was, that I'm planning to do the City to Surf. Oh, yeah. I'm going to go up to Sydney for that. Yeah. And I was going to do a fundraising drive for that.

Well, you can still do that. I can still do that, but it's like a month after. Right. But, so you're going to do 10K? Yep. I think the city to surf is 15 maybe? Maybe. I think.

Yeah. It's brutal apparently, but yeah. I think if it's anything like, I've done the city to sea that's Melbourne, and I think that's like 10 or 12 or something. I'm sure there's probably different little bits and pieces, isn't there? Like different versions of? I guess. They just start closer to the sea, maybe?

Yeah. Apparently, there's like a big hill in it that's really fucked and brutal. Right near the end. But then you clear that, and then you're just running down the hill into Bondi. Right. So look, when I'm all registered and everything for that,

maybe after you're done with this, I'll set up my thing, which will either be, yeah, it'll be some kind of, I guess I'll raise it for Fight Cancer Foundation. Right. And then, because that ends at Bondi,

we can, any Sydney listeners that are around, we can just fucking piss on afterwards, dude. Yeah, that's cool. I'm just trying to see now, because you bring this up and people are yelling at their iPhone going, it's fucking this long, it's fucking, why don't you just look it up? People don't realise that we're Amish,

and so we record this and we have no access to any kind of technology. Absolutely. We're talking into hay bales right now. It's a 14k course. That's yeah that's that's a good run. Yeah that is a good run.

14k. Because I was thinking about doing the 5k because we did 5k in Samui but it's it's you want to push yourself and also. 5k is like you do that

for recreation. Yeah. You just do that for fun. I know but it was more like I just doing a really good time. Like really fucking caning it and doing good. That fucking 5K in Samoa was fucking hard.

Yeah. I mean, I found it hard. I was trying to go at a decent pace and I found it very hard. Yeah, I found it. I think everyone did. Yeah, good. Well, I'm glad I wasn't the only one fucking struggling. The position of the sun at that time of the day made it especially brutal.

It's right on you. Yeah, yeah. And also, usually it's pretty hot all day. And so usually when I would do that run in the past, you get it done early in the morning and then that's the best time of doing it. But our weather we got was like, we did it really hard, and then it was 12 o'clock was like, oh, this is actually quite nice. I remember that, yeah.

We should probably have done it at lunchtime. I remember at midday going, fuck, this would have been a million times easier. Yeah. All right. Yeah, we can go into this. Do you want to? Should we? We've done ages so far.

Yeah, okay. All right, let's just go quickly into this. See if there's anything in this. I am... Now, this is weird. I hope people are sitting down when they hear this, but I'm currently having a bit of a fight with someone. This is the one episode.

This is the collectors. How many is this this week? Running out of room on the scoreboard in the clubhouse i can't even say it's five because it's like a few more um just you in this like evil villain style lair to just keep track of all your running feuds just like machines with paper spewing out of them you're talking about the strings on the board. That's what I actually use it for. Right. To remember who I'm having wars with. Yep. So, it got mentioned on the podcast before, but I did get married at one stage.

Congratulations. Thank you. Where's my present? So, we got a photographer. I got you a present. I just want to make that clear. Absolutely. I don't want anyone...

People have a habit of taking everything that gets said on this show extremely literally. I just said it because law of averages meant on the night that you wouldn't have. But you absolutely did. Look, the odds were in your favor if you threw that out that you would have been talking to someone who didn't get you one. Absolutely. So, got a photographer. People that are out there that have been married before, I mean, I'd love to hear your quotes of like how much you paid for a photographer.

I have a very strong feeling that I was on the upper end. So, we paid quite a lot. I paid quite a lot. Give the number. Tell the story and then give the number. You... Okay, let's Tell the story and then give the number. Okay. Let's tell the story first. Because I do think that potentially is important context.

Right. I mean, you can have a guess maybe. Okay. Yeah. So I got a photographer. They came out. All seemed fine. You've got to do a bit of a visit with them and talk to them and whatever.

It's sort of a bit – do you find that a bit weird or not? No, it's standard. As far not? No, that's standard. As far as I know, that's standard. But I understand like – Just the way you said it. Oh, you've got to talk to them. Yeah, but I had to go to their house. Like I understand it when you talk to the minister

because they want you to come in and have that meeting and go, well – And they're writing about your lives and everything. And they need to know how you're met so that they can get up and have their little talk and all that meeting and go, well... And they're writing about your lives and everything. And they need to know how you're met so that they can get up and have their little talk and all that sort of stuff. But to go to the photographer, it's like, yeah, cool, so what do you want photos of? Like being down the aisle and at the party and stuff?

Yes. Okay, well, nice to meet you. Yeah, I mean, I kind of get it. But I think if they're going to do it, then everyone involved in the wedding should do it. So it's like you're meeting with the caterer and you're like, so tell me about your personal relationship to meatballs. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Or at the very least, you know, if you're going to pay that sort of money that's yet to be disclosed, how about you come around to my place? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Where did this person live? Oh, in the fucking boondocks.

Okay. Quite a drive. Okay. So the day comes. All good. The big day. Okay. Quite a drive. Okay. So, the day comes. All good. The big day. Yeah, the big day. The big con carno.

Look, you know what? I haven't brought this up yet. I haven't brought this up, this element of the wedding. I feel like other bits of it had been dissected before. I feel like I've copped it for other elements of it.

But here's an element that I copped it for from a few people on the day or afterwards that I don't think made it as well to here. So the photographer splits their time up between the bride and the groom on the day. So the photographer will go out to the bride and take pictures of her and the family and the whole setup of all of them getting dressed and getting ready and getting in the car and the family

and all that sort of stuff. Whereas the groom sort of just, there isn't as much of a tradition maybe with that sort of thing. Like people aren't, you know, you don't really need help getting a tux on or stuff like that. You know what I mean? So then... That'd be funny. You see the photos of like the bride getting ready.

It's all beautiful and elegant. Like the bridesmaid is helping her. And then it's like the groom and his groomsmen. And it's just like you can just very clearly see like the groomsmen like miming, humping. Like, yeah, later tonight. Yeah. It's just filth. Yeah.

So my flip of it was I had to go out and, you know, we were staying in a hotel for the night. So, she goes, all right, we'll go to the hotel and you can, you know, we'll get some photos there. And then I'm like, okay. And then we get there and she goes, all right, all your tuxedo, all your clothes and stuff. Yep, cool. And she goes, all right, go and have a shower. And I'm like. Wow.

What? So, yeah, you go and have. shower. And I'm like. Wow. What? So yeah, you go and have a shower. This is like an hour before or whatever. Go and have a shower. I'm like, it wouldn't have even been an hour before because I remember thinking, have I got time for this? Right. So she goes, go in there.

And I'm like, I sort of don't have anything ready for that. You know, like I don't have. What do you mean? Well, I wasn't ready to take a shower i didn't have how ready do you need to be well you need to have a change of stuff and whatever and i don't i don't think i had that on me so it's like stuff well i was just you're going to your where you've got the tux there no no no i'm but i mean like in terms of you're taking your clothes off and putting them back on again you're like your underwear and you know deodorant and all

that sort of stuff so you hadn't brought deodorant and all that sort of stuff. So you hadn't brought deodorant with you? No, I hadn't brought, like, I think my wife might have had all that sort of stuff with her. Whereas I didn't. So I'm there going, okay, now I'm just getting a shower and hopping back out and putting the same clothes on again or whatever. Okay, right, whatever. So I get out and because I don't have any toiletries with me I don't have like a brush or a comb

or anything like that this explains a lot now right this explains a lot right so then I go to the wedding

and afterwards I cop in people are like why don't you fucking comb your hair I'm like it because

it did look I was fascinated right because I didn't have a fucking brush and she made me have a shower. Yeah, yeah.

So then I've got wet hair. I'm trying to fucking use my hand to comb it down. It's like a windy day. Like, fucking hell. And then no one's saying to me, you know, sort yourself out a little bit. I'm like, I was trying, but I've got wet hair on a windy day. So then people are getting stuck into me. I'm like, okay, well, I didn't mean it.

Yeah, but I mean the facts are the facts. You had disheveled hair. Yes, yes. You looked like Watermess, that little cartoon dog. Oh, I presume that's cool. He is pretty cool. He is pretty cool. Great. He's pretty cute.

Thanks. So then I get the photos back and then it's like, then I see the full extent. I'm like, oh, nice one. Great. Unreal. Great. It was unreal. Nice.

But you know, none of us have any of that context. So we're just sitting there going, fucking hell. The look of a man in a tuxedo. The nicest thing you can wear. Yes. The most formal thing you can wear yes the most formal thing you can wear yes just truly i mean it was you were a walking mullet you know business business down below party on top yeah yeah i feel like i'm at some stage i must have sorted out i think the

indoor shots were fine i think by the time i got in indoors it was like i must have figured it out or whatever it was but it was it was windy so the outdoor shots i'm just like fucking hell at the least the photographers fucking made me do it the least the photographer should have had a fucking comb on her no no but this is your own fault this is your decision not to have a best man that's best man duty that's why you have him you get on the phone you go bro this fucking idiot has made me hop in the shower that's a very good call that that's what that's why you haven't you get on the phone you go bro this fucking idiot has made me hop in the shower that's a very good call that that's what that's why you have those people on the day it's not for fucking showboating it's stuff like that that's all right well i've learned a harsh lesson

for my next wedding if you if you texted me and gone bro i was wrong yeah i is it too late to call on you to be the best man right i need you to go down to Chemist Warehouse and get me a $1.50 cone. Yes. Okay. Well, I know now. And hopefully this is a lesson to all of you out there. Don't let some weird woman get you in the shower an hour before your wedding. And also, yeah, if you are a best man, it pays to have a comb in the pocket.

You never know when you're going to be called upon. Bring the full toiletry bag in there. Yes. Yeah. You never know when you're going to be called upon. Bring the full toiletry bag in there. Yes. Yeah. We're talking those little machines, the little nose hair trimmer things. Yep. That people use. Yep.

Electric toothbrush. Yep. Toenail clippers, I reckon. Toenail clippers, yeah. Because you know what? You burst it through your shoes. You burst it through your shoes with your rank talons. You know, after talking about that, after talking about that,

like having the massage in Thailand, I got a call where they're like oh we'll do we cut your toenails i'm like no no i don't want to fucking pay for you to cut my toenails two days later i go to check out of my hotel i have absolutely split apart the bed sheets with my toenails i've done that yeah really i've never done that before right tore them apart anyway so i've done that not with the toenails i last year when i went to japan we went to the robot restaurant and when we bought the tickets tore them apart. Anyway, so. I've done that. Not with the toenails. Oh. Last year when I went to Japan, we went to the robot restaurant and when we bought the tickets, it was like you get a free special gift when you book through this site. Yeah.

And it wouldn't say what it was and we're like, what could it be? And then we turn up and it's a little branded robot restaurant bottle opener slash nail clippers. Right. Honestly, one of the best things I've ever received. Wow. Still got it in the toiletries bag, trimming the nails, going, God, I'm working up a thirst.

Couldn't really go a beer right now. Honestly, one of the best things I own. What about the flip side? Oh, just crack open my 12th for today. You know what I wouldn't mind doing? Clipping some toes. Oh, fuck, I've only got nine toes now. I guess previously it was like you can use your long nails to open a bottle of beer.

But then if you've cut them down, it's like, how the fuck am I opening this now? Well, good news. That thing that you use to cut your nails with, there's a bottle opener on that. By the way, this isn't even the story yet that we're actually getting into. Yeah, you know, it's part of it. We are going to have to do a very small number of names this week just to flag that in advance. Great. Perfect.

So, way ahead of you. So, go to the wedding. Get all the photos done. You know, that experience is fine. Right. I remember seeing the photographer. Yeah, yeah. Well, let's keep going with this story.

So, get the – it all seems fine on the day. remember seeing the photographer yeah yeah well let's keep going with this story so uh get get the it's all all seems fine on the day you know what i don't know any better um get the photos back i don't know well you know she's walking around taking pictures yeah it's like well what you know unless she's you know got one of those fucking you know umbrella things over and she's poking people in the eyes with it or something. It's like, well, it seems like it's all fine at the moment. I went to a friend's wedding where he had gotten another friend of ours to take his photos at the wedding.

And we're all kind of hanging out going like, hey, talking to our friend and had to sort of be told, mate, she's here to work. Yes. Fucking leave her alone. Yes, right, right. So that all happens. We get the photos back and we go, well, this is interesting. Now, you know my past and maybe some people do on this show as I used to be a graphic

designer and I still do some. You dabble? I dabble, yes. I do some freelance stuff. Do a bit of stuff for this thing. Try to get out. They keep pulling you back in.

Exactly. Exactly. Nice little thing to have in your arsenal though. Yeah. You know, it's like having the beer, the beer opener

and then having the toenail clippers around the other end. It's a nice little thing to have there. Which one do you think graphic design is? The bottle opener or the toenail clippings? Toenail clippings. For sure. Yeah's a nice little thing to have there. Which one do you think graphic design is? The bottle opener or the toenail clippings?

Toenail clippings. For sure. Yeah. The actual clippings. Yeah. So, I look at the photos and go, hmm, gee. And I say to, I email the photographer to go, so are you going to maybe like, you know, correct them, you know, do some work on them?

Because I'm thinking these look like they've just been taken and not a lot of work, if any work, has been done to them. And that's what you've got to do these days, obviously. You take a photo. That's not it. It's half the job. Yeah, that's holiday snaps. You've got to fix them up after that.

And it was quite a grey day. It was an overcast day that day. And I said, you're going to correct them. You're going to put a bit of work into them. And she said, oh, what do you mean like add people that aren't there? I think we've talked about this part of it on the show before. Oh, have we? Right.

And I was like, that's absolutely not what I mean. Which I want to see the branching path of reality where you go, yes, please. I think that's what we discussed on the pod. How great it would be to just get John Belushi in the mix. Make it a bit Sgt. Peppers. Yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Great.

Put a couple of three different versions of Paul McCartney in my wedding. Yes, yes. That'd be good. So then I go, I literally sit there and go, oh, God, that means I've just got to do this myself. And, you know, graphic designer, not saying I'm the best Photoshopper in the world. I can get through it. I'm fine.

I've got your basic tricks and that's all. Yeah. Whereas I'm thinking, oh, I'm going to have to put time aside to learn how to do like a really good job. Yeah. You're a layout person. You're not doing a lot of touch up kind of work. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I've got my basics. It's kind of different fields. Yeah. Got my basics under control. Just what I need to know. Yeah.

So I'm thinking, I'm going to have to learn how to do it properly to really do justice to this job. Yeah. Just chuck them all on the iPhone. Go into the filter section. Right. Leave it cool for all of them. That's a good one.

Upload them all to Instagram and then just get them off that. Hipstamatic. Give it that grainy washed out border. Bob's your uncle. Great. Here's our wedding from 1935. Yes. Nice.

Here's grandpa's wedding. We don't have mine, but let's use this. So I go, I'm going to have to do this. Right. So of course, I do a to-do list every day. It is a long-term job, which means I put it at the absolute bottom every day. Write a new list every day. It's at the bottom every day.

And every day, I think, I'll get to that at some stage. And every day, certainly, my wife goes, when are you getting to that? And I go, I'll get around to it. I'll get around to it. I never get around to it. So, it's, what, 16 months ago now, probably something like that, 18 months ago? Yeah. And we get a message and we basically

we have to check in with a photographer because part of the deal part of the quite expensive deal is that they then get all laid out you pick x amount of photos they all get laid out they put it in a book they get sent away uh printed overseas and they come back it's part of the extensively priced package that that i paid for now they go all of a sudden we double check to go this is all cool i know it's been a long time but is this still cool yes but you need to get it in next week now we i get given this date that they need to be done by wow as we're in thailand which means that my last two days in thailand is me trying to learn how to fix them up and then fixing them up right right so then i do that.

Then at the same time as I'm doing that, I'm asking people for tips and stuff like that. I asked a friend of the show, Andrew Doodson, who has appeared on the show as part of Anyone for Tennis way back in the day when he did a dub like. Now he's a very successful graphic designer, does a lot of comedy work in fact, and a great guy. Made the dolls of us.

He did too. If you heard those episodes a couple of years ago, he made talking And a great guy. Made the dolls of us. He did too. If you heard those episodes a couple of years ago, he made talking dolls of us. You still have some where? Yeah. Sent them to us anonymously. Yes. And we were quite freaked out for a while

because they looked amazing. Yeah, exactly. It was great. And it had little catchphrases. Talking catchphrases. Yeah. That Xavier Michaelides had recorded. Voiced, yes.

Yes. So I was asking him. He goes, you know what? catchphrases that Xavier Michaelides had recorded voiced yes yes so I was asking him he goes you know what I've got a couple of hours I can help you out with it and I go oh what do I owe you

and he very generous just went oh just take me out for dinner one night or whatever I said man I'll take you out to Rockpool I'll do fucking big time

whatever you want I'll do whatever if you're going to do something like this I'll take you to the one restaurant I know about. Well, it's… Yeah, it is nice.

It's a very nice one and expensive one. Yeah. Just so everyone at home knows, I know more than one restaurant. So… Just so everyone at home knows. No, he doesn't. Fuck. Full stop.

I can't say it again. It would sound weird if I just said the same thing again. He's already really ruled that out. Welcome to the Grade 2 podcast, everyone. Well, I had my fingers crossed. Ironically, the most intelligent discussion we've ever had. So anyway, he goes and does it. And I go, oh, my God, this is great.

And not only that, he comes back. I spend my days doing it. And I've come up, my job's fine. It's taken the photos from a five out of 10 to a seven and a half, I reckon. I was like, this is a pretty okay job. He does it, it's now a nine and a half. I'm like, great.

So he's added in, you know, he's made it like a nicer sky. It was a pretty gray sky. He's boosted the intensity of everything. It looks like, we look at it and go, this is amazing. Can't wait to get this printed up. Ewoks running around.

Yeah, no, no. Charlie Chaplin was there apparently now. Yeah. No, so it does look great. It does look great now. Anyway, send it off. Great, just in time. Just in time.

She needed it by a certain time. Just in time. I hear back. No, actually, you've changed those photos. I own the copyright for those photos, so I won't be putting them in that book, and they won't be being sent away. So if you've got any other changes to the existing photos,

un-Photoshopped, un-corrected photos, just let me know, and I'll get them printed right now. What the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me? Is that me going crazy? Am I on the crazy pills? Is that insane going crazy? Am I on the crazy pills? Is that insane or not? I'm sure that's probably some kind of photographer code

that it is not a done thing to go outside of the photographer and get the retouching done. But it is in her best interest for her customer to be happy with the product that they're getting. Exactly. And look, I would have given her the benefit of that doubt if i hadn't have brought up the idea of retouching and for her to come back and go do you mean sticking other people in the photo yeah right so there's no use me going well now i've got to teach you how to retouch so i didn't say a word

didn't say i was unhappy with the photos just just got them done professionally sent them back and she's like i'm not printing them like why because all you have to do is forward that email to your printer you don't have to do a thing and she's like no well you know i've got a reputation to uphold i'm like is it a shit reputation that you're trying to uphold that would be funny if you'd just gotten them and made them way worse right right and watermarked her name across all of them like massively so here's the thing so she's like going i'm not printing them i you know i have all these photos on my website and i have a certain name or whatever i'm like don't put any of them on your fucking website and also

you don't ever have to see these pictures again but we have to see them probably every day so just let us have this will you no no i can't i can't let that happen i'm not going to let that happen the jpegs are too low res you gave them to us so now you're the files you gave us so now you're you're in a in a back and forth email conflict yes with this what i love most about this is this woman just out of the blue this wedding from almost two years ago and this guy's firing up yes she probably doesn't even remember the date. Yes. She's just sitting there going, who the fuck is this guy?

But that's part of her argument. Well, you should have told me two years ago. I'm like, yeah, but you know why I got put off for two years? Because I was sitting there going, fuck, I've got a lot of work to do. I don't want to do this. I know, but it's such a long time. Oh, for sure. It's so good.

But if you talk to people that get married, this is a very common story. I'm talking to one right now. Yeah, thank you. That's a lovely compliment you've paid me there. You're talking and I'm listening. Thank you for legally recognising my marriage. I appreciate that. So this is a very common story that people get married

and then they just take forever to get their photos done. Sure, yeah. This is a very common story. I can understand. understand yes it's like you don't want to sit and just yes it's such a big exhausting thing yes and you put so much into it in the lead up yes you don't then want to be doing this huge task to do with it immediately after in fact andrew dudson himself has the very very very similar story so he she's she's like i bet his is less violent well he can't argue with himself because he's doing the retouching, I guess. So that would be great if you were taking your own photos for your own wedding the whole time.

Just selfies the whole time. Everything selfies the whole time. Well, to go back to what I said earlier where I said I didn't remember seeing her around that much. Yep. And you were like – She was the one with the camera, by the way. Yeah, yeah, but you were like, don't jump ahead. Yes.

Were you getting to the fact that she wasn't around later in the night? Yes. So this is part of when we got the photos back. Because I did stink the next day, and that's probably because no one forced me to have a shower in the middle of the thing, which suggests to me, in hindsight, she just wasn't around. You should have had a guest best man.

That's what you should have had, someone to you should have had a guest best man that's what you should have had someone to help you out that's great turning up to the wedding with a friend who's not invited to just help get you through it there were a few people there that could have done with a uh their own individual guest best men to uh control their behavior and maybe uh not to get them to drink too much including myself but, but someone else that had their head between their knees and absolutely projectile vomiting at one stage, I think. Oh, a certain girlfriend of someone? Yes. Spewing in the dunnies?

Absolutely. Good stuff. Yes. Pretty early on too. Yes, I did not. Anyway, so when you said you didn't see the photographer much, get the photos back, no pictures of the guests. Really?

There are no pictures of any of you guys. Wow. Yeah. There's like no pictures of any dancing or anything at the reception. Really? Yeah. That's a bummer. No pictures of any of the guests except one picture that I've sent to you.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And didn't say anything. It's just one picture of my wife with her dad and like a chain of her family sort of, you know. And then just weirdly off to the side, Nick Capper just staring at them. It's great. So that's the only photo of any of us. Yes. I wonder if that's just editorial.

You know, her keeping one eye on these photos, being on the website and being in a book and her reputation. And it's just a lot of comedians going like, oh, i don't want this brandishing my also the the guest is a pretty good lineup there's some a graders you're just you want the no no you want the star clout of being able to like that's just a plus sure that's a plus but we had the avalanches djing at my wedding for sure no for no photographic evidence of that yeah Yeah. No guests, no nothing like that. So, anyway. I wish the Avalanches, you know how there's like Deadmau5 and like there's a new guy called like Marshmello

who do like big DJ gigs and they have like a big helmet kind of thing on? Right. Daft Punk. Yep. I wish the Avalanches were kind of like that. Yes. Because that would have been sick. Yeah.

Just having that at a wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These two guys with these giant animatronic fucking mouse heads on or something would have been truly great. Get Slipknot's masks. So, this photographer, I'll use the word loosely. So, she is now like rejecting these great Photoshopped images for the book. And she's like, well, you can go and print your own book if you like.

I'm like, well, of course I can do whatever I want. I love that. Thank you. Going down to Officeworks, just A4, spiral bound book. But I just like the permission of like, I've gone out and, you know, effectively paid extra to get these done properly. And she's like, well, you're allowed to go and do whatever you want with them. You can watch Seinfeld tonight if you want.

Am I? Yeah. So, but she's insisting on like instead printing these original photos of hers. When I've paid for the, you know, for the photos to get corrected, including fixing my fucking hair in there. But instead she's insisting that she uses. Wait, you photoshopped your hair? Yeah.

Well, I didn't. Dude, he photoshopped your hair. Yeah. Just to make it not as fucked. Dude, has he given you like a big Elvis quiff or something? No.

That would be great if he's just gone. No. You look like, you know, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure or whatever. Yeah.

Doody, I know he listens to this. Yes. Please, can you get one of the originals and just give us a gallery of different Chando hairstyles?

Oh, God. Please email me just for my enjoyment. He's already... Don't encourage him. As he was working on it... I'll take you to two rock pool dinners. What do you think about that?

As he was photoshopping them, he was already sending me stuff where there was like a picture of my wife talking to her dad and a caption coming out from the dad going, it's seriously your last chance. You can leave now if you want. Respect. Respect to duty. Yeah, so now then she's trying to force me into having the photos done with fucked hair that she caused to start with.

Fucking hell. So hang on. Can I guess the amount, the fee? Look, off the top of my head, I don't know the exact figure, but I know the ballpark. Because it's literally two years ago, so I can't actually remember. But you'd know if I was in the ballpark. I've got a figure,

I'll submit a figure in my head and then you can get in the ballpark. Okay. Yep. I'm trying to think, now that I think about it, I actually don't know, surprisingly enough,

too much about that industry. But higher end... I'll give you within $500 maybe. Is that a thing or less? Okay. Yeah. Hmm. And you would say this is a higher end figure?

Well, I don't know, but I think that this is a lot of money. Decent amount. For what you're getting or not getting. Okay. Full day. You met up're getting or not getting. Okay. Full day. You met up with her once? Yes. Hmm.

5K. It was less than that. Okay. Yeah. But. Bargain. You're kidding. 5K.

I'm kidding. Please. Thank you. Okay. Let's leave it at that. Lower than that. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a fine. Not significantly lower. Lower than that. Yeah, yeah. That's a fine enough four part. Not significantly lower, but lower than that. Yeah. Oh, 4,999. Fucking got it. So, yeah. Anyway, my point being, I am currently in dispute. Yeah.

So, we'll see what happens here. Case pending. Yes. How many emails back and forth? Because you started telling me about this yesterday happens here. Case pending. Yes. How many emails back and forth? Because you started telling me about this yesterday. Yep. Over Messenger. Yep.

What's the email chain since it really kicked off? It was my wife that was dealing with it. And then when she came back and started pulling these tricks, it was like flex knuckles. I'll take it from here, dear. Oh, even more brutal. Yep. And then I got in and she's just like over my shoulder going

you've got to tone those emails down tone them down wow so from the shared email account that you guys have no no carl and don't say her name chandler at hotmail.com so yeah i'm look they're toned down versions of what i really think but they're not too toned down. So my wife has been doing a lot of... Also, your version of toned down is like most other people's one million percent. Absolutely. Absolutely. Opening with the C-bomb. Wow, I'm really showing some restraint here.

Hey, it could have been the F and C-bomb. It could have been in the subject line. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Totally. Look, I withdrew the attachment of me giving her the bird. I think credit needs to be given where it's due. Oh, man.

Yeah. Anyway, so... That would be good if you just do that. You've just subbed in for a couple of rounds of emails, and then you just pass back to your wife. Yeah. It's just like, this woman's head's spinning. Yeah.

Good cop, bad cop. Yeah. Great. Anyway, I'll leave it there. We'll continue later. Check in on this later. Fuck, have we got time to do this? We're getting close to an hour, baby.

Oh, should we just leave it this week? Wow. Should we? I feel like we're not going to do justice. We're going to do them a disservice, but... All right, all right. Let's go real hard, quick, on these. Should we set...

We'll do lightning round. I'll set a timer for each one. All right. Go as hard as we can for like how long per name? A minute per name. A minute per name? Yeah. Okay.

But let's stick a lot into it. Okay. All right. This is... I feel like I'm doing... What's the exercise at the gym? A minute or two. A minute will go so quick.

A minute's fine. Okay. Planking. I feel like I'm about to go planking. You know, do you ever do that with a trainer? I'm about to go planking. Yeah, but you know when do that with a trainer? I'm about to go planking. Yeah, but you know when you do that at the gym and you've got your elbows there on the ground and you've got your toes on the ground and you're holding yourself up and then does

the trainer do that to you and then sticks the iPhone in front of you and go, there you go, there's a minute to go? Yeah, there's a class at F45 where you do a two-minute plank right at the end. Right, right. And it's funny because they never say that. They go, just in case anyone there is new, so it's not hanging over their head for the whole class, they'll go, and a little surprise at the end.

If you go to the class, you go, you can't fool me. They're making the gym fun. Yeah. Yeah. They're hiding the broccoli and some mashed potatoes. God, I like broccoli. All right. Let's do a minute.

All right. Okay. Okay. And you read the name and then i'll start and thank you to patient subscriber brent hills hayes brent hills hayes i reckon we've read this one before what a cunt he's got well if we have there's no time to go back and check now yeah okay hey hills fuck you yeah it's it's a hyphenated last name uh someone called hills married someone called hayes That is fucked That's fucked to start with

Yeah They're basically Nearly the same name Just pick one Don't combine them Pick one It's a real hillbilly name It's a bit of scenery

Some hay bales Hills and Hayes You're right Just real country bumpkins Yeah And then Yeah And then country

Fucking Brent What a fucking first name Brent Yeah The poor man's Brett Yeah Wow I can't believe I wanted to do

two minutes of this yeah yeah we're out of steam on this shit one with 20 extra seconds to go yeah Brent Hills Hayes Hills Hayes it sounds like

a fucking private school boy who's got too much money and story checks out because he's giving us some of it right Hills Hayes makes it sound like

it should be Hills Hoist right this guy should hang himself right alright that's lap number one right okay thank you to Patreon subscriber Gavin Howley makes it sound like it should be Hill's Hoist. This guy should hang himself. All right, that's lap number one. Right, okay. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Gavin Howley.

Oh, Howley. I am Howley-ing at the moon. I'm so excited about getting this amount of money. Right, great. You don't even know how much money it is. Oh, how much? How, how, how, howly much money, you ask? I don't know, probably $10. Wow.

I'd imagine. I'm Gavin of shit time with this name, that's for sure. I don't know how long we have to go, but I'm fucking struggling right now. Fuck me, 40 seconds. 40 seconds. No, it's 35 seconds. Fuck, this plank is really hurting me. I wish we had not left this till the end of the session.

I'll tell you what, my core's burning. It's going to be worth it at the end of this. Yeah, right. When you've got that engaged strength. If I don't have a fucking six-pack at the end of Gavin Howley's fucking shit name readout, I'm going to be absolutely spewing, which actually will give me a better six-pack if I am literally spewing. Gavin Howley, another private school boy.

I think once you have a name like that, you just can't go to public schools. Howley? You think so? You think that sounds particularly posh? Gavin especially. Oh, Gavin. The big double. Yeah.

Give us more money. Sir Master Gavin Howley. Yes. Thanks, Gavin. Okay, lap two. Or three, I mean. Thank you, Patreon subscriber Jack Batson. Oh, here we go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. How's that having... Stop the clock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he jacking it or is he batting off? He's got the big double. He's gone full wanker now.

Batting off man. Yeah. Batting off. Over cab woman. Is that the bat signal or is he literally coming into the sky? Is this a new character for funny fellas? Batting off man? Is that what he does for dessert?

He bats off. Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner. Bats off. Please, Master Wayne, you'll go blind. Man, those mashed potatoes really turned me on. Master Wayne. Bruce Wayne turns into batting off man. Master Wayne Kerr.

Yeah. Great stuff. Great. Five stickers. Thanks whoever that guy was. Thanks,. Bruce Wang. He turns into batting off man. Master Wayne Kerr. Great stuff. Great. Thanks whoever that guy was. Thanks Jack Batson. And number four. Thank you Patreon.

Patreon subscriber Coley Varady. Jesus Christ. I really thought you were going to say Varanda there. Oh fuck. I wish.

We'd have a lot more to play with than Varady. Varady. We've got some vaguely ethnic name which leaves a few little tools out of the riff arsenal, I believe.

You've got to sense yourself a little bit. Coley. Coley. K-O-L-E-Y. What do you think about that? Oh, boy. Sounds like a nickname rather than a name. Coley.

Yeah, Coley. I don't mind. Initial's KV. Not bad. I like that. Something interesting. You know what? When you've got a name like that, you go into a dinner party, you don't have anything to

talk about. You just go, you know what? My name is Coley Varady. Yeah. Go. Have at it, folks. KV, there's a musician called Kurt Vile, and one of his songs is just called KV.

Right. Nice. Yeah. Love the name of your song just being your initials. Ah, not a lot of self-titled songs, is there? No. There should be more of that. There's a few where there's the band name is the album name

is a song on the album name. Right. So you've got the great three in that listing. Oh. I love a bit of it. It's rare, but it's good. I would love some examples of that, but unfortunately we don the album name. Right. So you've got the great three in that listing. Oh! I love a bit of... It's rare, but it's good. I would love some examples of that, but unfortunately,

we don't have time. Yep, all right. One final lap. One final lap. Have we got time for one final lap? Yep, yep, yep. But the clock is racing.

We've got 55 seconds to go. Quick, quick, quick, quick. Thank you to Patreon subscriber Absolute Dumb Shit Photographer Comedy. Absolute Dumb Shit Photographer Comedy. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Is that... Are those all hyphenated? I believe shit photographer comedy. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Are those all hyphenated?

I believe so. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard for me to know even though I'm reading it out right now in front of myself. So they're a dumb shit photographer. They're really bad at the photography, but then the last name is comedy. So maybe that was the point. Maybe the photos are meant to be bad at some kind of joke.

Well, it doesn't mean that they're bad at it. It just means that that's their name. Maybe they were named after someone who is an absolute dumb shit at bad at photography. Maybe that's not what they actually do. Oh, like their grandpa. It's like an homage to. Yeah. You aren't like a Tommy.

You aren't a Tommy gun. Yes, I am. You aren't a Tommy gun, though, aren't you? Oh, yes, I am. Okay. Well, all right. Well, I've been proven wrong. This person must be what their name is.

Yeah. Yeah, that could be the grandfather's name. That could be a family name. Right. You know, it does sound very old school and, you know, pretty unique and austere. So, sure. Well, hey, we're over a minute on that one.

There's a lot to chew in on there, but we don't want to show any kind of preferential treatment there to any of those names. No. So, thanks, absolute dumb shit, fuckhead photographer, dumb cunt comedy. Hey, that's a little bit rude. I didn't say dumb cunt.

That's quite offensive. All right. Thanks, folks. Thanks for tuning in for another week. We will be back next week. LittleDumbDumbClub.com for tickets and links

to all our socials and the Patreon if you want to support us on there. Get little bonuses every month. Also, July 27th in Sydney, July 28th in Newcastle. Get your tickets to them because they are close to being done is that it i think that's it all right oh look we got merch we got new merch go to the website we've got new hats we got uh some leftover singlets from

kosamui if you want a little memory of kosamui if you went to kosamui the last three years it is all over or if you just want a cool singlet um have a look at it on go to the website have a look at the merch um plenty of people grabbing all sorts of bullshit and plenty of me sitting on my lounge room floor and fucking writing addresses on post packs so get into it thanks very much for listening and we'll see you next time see you